Armageddon - Office Depot Centre, Sunrise Florida, December 15th 2002

The end is here. Three PPVs this year used original songs by Jim Johnson - Fight for Summerslam and No Mercy for, funnily enough, No Mercy are both new and pretty good but his masterpiece is the one he created two years ago - The End is Here for Armgageddon is awesome. This show has updated graphics and a stage to match too. Stuff like this is what people mean when they say they miss when WWE shows had physical stages.

Fatal Four Way Elimination match for the World Tag Team Championships

Christian and Chris Jericho © vs. Booker T and Goldust vs. Lance Storm and William Regal vs. The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley)

Is this the best built Tag Team Championship match of all time? I think it might be! Lance Storm and William Regal are undefeated as a team and so their inclusion makes perfect sense. The Dudleyz have engaged in a very entertaining battle of humiliation with the champions, forcing Jericho and Christian to be on Raw naked, and then that quickly turned brutal with some steel chair retaliation, and Booker T and Goldust have been feuding with Chris Jericho specifically since before No Mercy two months ago. There’s also a last minute wrinkle as Goldust believes he is the weak link on his team, getting the fans and yes, Booker T, to rally behind him. Just a lot of clever booking in this one match. 

The two teams to start this were determined by a coin toss earlier today and its Bubba Ray Dudley and Lance Storm. This being elimination rules put those two teams at a disadvantage - you want to stay on the apron and let the other three teams eliminate each other so you can pick the bones. 

The tags come thick and fast and there’s a nice spot where Goldust and Bubba Ray hit a stereo flip, flop and fly leading to bionic elbows - a tribute to Dusty Rhodes, Goldust’s father and someone who Bubba Ray was a huge fan of. 

Bubba and D-Von hit the 3D on Christian but William Regal tagged himself in, stealing a pin on Bubba. There’s massive confusion and a botch here as Regal pulls Bubba’s tights so hard he reverses his own pin with Bubba ending up on top. Regal then has to flip back the other way and neither JR or King can tell if that was three or not. It was, and The Dudleys were eliminated at 5:16. Goldust wastes no time and drops Regal with a Curtain Call and pins him to eliminate Lance Storm and William Regal at 5:32, leaving us with a straight up tag team match between Chris Jericho and Christian vs. Booker T and Goldust. That allows the champions to isolate and work over Goldust, including Jericho getting some cheap shots by running him into the ringsteps and hitting him with Regal’s UK flag on the outside undetected by the referee before rolling him back inside. 

Goldust holds on for a while until finally making a tag to Booker T and he has no problem lighting up Jericho and Christian until a double team and distraction takes him down too. Jericho isn’t able to turn Booker into the Walls of Jericho and he’s rolled up with a small package.

The action and back and forth between Jericho and Booker is very good and when his second Walls of Jericho is successful, Goldust makes the save and then stops Christian from using one of the Tag Team title belts as a weapon. Booker keeps it going by countering a superplex and then following up with a missile dropkick and a heel kick and delights the crowd with a Spinarooni. He follows up with a Scissors Kick but Christian stops the referee from counting and distractions him long enough for Jericho to use the title belt as a weapon and hit the Lionsault. Booker T kicks out! 

Jericho rushes for a second title belt shot and right into a Book End! With Christian busy fighting with Goldust on the outside, Booker gets the three count and he and Goldust are the new World Tag Team Champions, eliminating Jericho and Christian at 16:43.

Booker and Goldust are emotional after the match, finally winning the Tag Team titles and celebrating like brothers, ironic given that Booker won 11 WCW Tag Team titles with his real life brother, and Goldust later won the WWE Tag Team titles twice with his. (Stevie Ray and Cody Rhodes, respectively)

After the match, Coach gets an interview with the new champions and says that lots of people didn’t believe in them - Booker cuts him off. Coach might not have believed in him but the fans did! Booker tells his partner that he’s no weak link - he’s one half of the World Tag Team Champions! Good stuff.

JR and King throw to Smackdown’s commentary team, Michael Cole and Tazz and they discuss how at Survivor Series, every title that was defended changed hands and we’re already off to a similar start tonight! That leads to them mentioning that Brock Lesnar is here and might be in Kurt Angle’s corner to make the WWE title change hands too. 

Earlier tonight on Heat, Josh Matthews caught up with Brock and asked him exactly that - Brock doesn’t say but does promise he’ll make a big impact tonight. Big Show and Paul Heyman should be concerned. I mentioned it when he first turned up but Josh Matthews is a contestant from Tough Enough who wasn't good enough to be a wrestler but apparently made some friends and got an on screen role as an interviewer and later as a commentator. He's still active in wrestling 20+ years later, but not in WWE. If you go back to my shows in 2000 - I forget which article or month - during the original commercial asking for people to apply for the first Tough Enough, his homemade audition tape was one that was shown in the commercial on Raw is War. Technically does that make Josh Matthews an Attitude Era Icon?! No, it does not.

Edge vs. A-Train

This match came together in the past couple of weeks. Albert, sick of not achieving anything, made an impact by beating Rey Mysterio and then assaulting and injuring his knee with a steel chair. That was a storyline explanation for Mysterio taking some time off to have legit knee surgery but does give his old Tag Team Championship partner a reason to seek revenge. The newly rechristened A-Train has attacked Edge’s leg with a steel chair twice as well including costing him a chance to be number one contender for the WWE title. Here’s a little recap for fun and so you can get a good look at how hairy A-Train is. Also means you can see his new over the shoulder backbreaker finishing move to save me from having to describe it. 

Is “The A-Train” a terrible name for a wrestler? I’ll let you all decide for yourselves (but yes). 

The big man dominates Edge and they try to work on each other’s legs initially but then that’s confusing so A-Train (I might just keep calling him Albert?) moves to more familiar big man beating up a little man offence. 

This isn’t very good, but Edge does have a unique comeback, hitting a sort of combo tornado DDT but into his Edge-o-matic. The attempted follow up missive dropkick is blocked by a bicycle kick out of the air.

Edge kicks out so A-Train goes to get a steel chair and that's dropkicked back into his face. A top rope crossbody gets another nearfall. A-Train avoids the Edgecution to use his Baldo Bomb but Edge kicks out of that too, so he goes back to the steel chair and as he argues with the referee walks into a Spear. He kicks out of that too, but a frustrated Albert hits Edge in the knee with the steel chair, getting himself disqualified. Edge wins and he avoids a second chair shot with a dropkick and gets hold of the chair himself, hammering A-Train right in the head and then wearing him out with the steel chair leaving both it and A-Train’s body all bent and dented.

This all felt a bit pointless but that might just be because I don’t rate A-Train. It’s good they’re trying to push some fresh faces and at least Edge came out on top to keep his own momentum. 

In the WWE Champion’s locker room, Paul Heyman tries to stop his client from going to attack Brock Lesnar after his vague “make an impact” threat. Show is convinced that Brock is going to be in Angle’s corner to screw him over. Show wants to go to Stephanie McMahon’s office and get Lesnar banned from the building. Heyman points out that intimidating Stephanie keeps backfiring and making her do thinks like lift Brock’s suspension. He tells the champion to relax, focus on Kurt Angle and let him talk to Stephanie calmly and respectfully and handle the business.

Chris Benoit vs. WWE Tag Team Champion Eddie Guerrero

This match came together at the last minute too, just like the previous one - Smackdown’s side of this card has really been lacking in build.

In fairness, if you include all of their interactions during the WWE Tag Team Championship tournament and then in the month leading to Survivor Series then really these former friends have been feuding for almost three months, and no one is mad at adding Benoit vs. Guerrero to a PPV card. They’re both very good wrestlers.

Michael Cole stresses that whoever wins this match, given their talent level, has to be considered the number one contender for the WWE title. That’s not official but assuming the winner of this match would be in line for a title match is fair enough.

They start out with fast paced exchanges, jockeying for advantage with sleepers, chinlocks and it's very good. Eddie locks up Benoit’s arm trying to remove the Crossface from his repertoire but Benoit impressively lifts Eddie with one arm into a powerbomb for a near fall. Eddie quickly gets this match back on the mat with a headscissors and sadly that starts to draw some “boring” chants from the fans in Florida. The two men were clearly listening and break that up to pick up the pace and there’s a nasty botch as Eddie tries to backdrop Chris out of the ring and he gets awkwardly tired up in the ropes. There’s another botch as Eddie follows him out with a crossbody off the top rope but Benoit was out of position so while he hits him, he lands hard on his knees. 

Back in the ring, Eddie turns his focus to Benoit’s leg and slows things down again. I’m enjoying it as Eddie quickly moves from hold to hold, showing off a variety and always twisting and contorting his face. He has too much charisma to ever be boring whatever he’s doing. 

German suplexes - one of Benoit’s trademarks - and after three Germans, drills him with a brainbuster and goes for the Frog Splash, which he hits. That should be the end of what was ultimately a squash match but Benoit kicks out. Sadly the fans didn’t really react - they’re not into this match at all, I think because it’s technically heel vs. heel. Eddie tackles Benoit to the outside and stops wrestling and starts brawling.

Eddie distracts the referee back in the ring which allows his nephew and tag team partner to run down and clock Benoit with his Tag title belt. He slowly gets back into the ring but kicks out of that too. 

Eddie locks in the Lasso from El Paso and Benoit makes it to the ropes. This is definitely a babyface performance from Benoit as he shows real guts and toughness, kicking out of everything. He mounts his comeback and drills Guerrero with a great looking powerbomb and then stupidly goes for a diving headbutt - that's also a babyface move. Chavo tries to stop him and is dumped offf the top rope but it's enough distraction to allow Eddie to recover. His attempted top rope hurricanrana is shoved off and Benoit hits his diving headbutt. That finally gets the fans into it a little.

Eddie shakes it off and goes right back to the Lasso but Benoit rolls through that into a Crippler Crossface, switching sides to block Eddie from getting to the ropes and then rolling back to the middle of the ring, finally getting the submission victory. 

This was alright but not as good as I expected it to be. They were more focused on the story of the match and trying to turn Chris Benoit into a good guy than on the actual action. 

Back in General Manager Stephanie McMahon’s office, Paul Heyman goes to see her and sucks up, letting her know that some people are questioning her business decisions. She lifted Brock’s suspension and now there’s a risk that the great battle, and the honour and prestige of the WWE Championship match is at risk. She laughs at Heyman talking about honour and integrity and says that if Brock Lesnar wants to be in Kurt Angle’s corner then he can be. Heyman says that if Lesnar shows up in Angle’s corner tonight, Big Show will break his neck.

What really happened in room 357?

One of the big “moments” on this PPV is that Dawn Marie has threatened to reveal what REALLY happened in her hotel room with Torrie Wilson. I don’t want to recap this storyline so here

The premise is that Dawn has told Torrie that if she’ll sleep with her, she’d end things with her father. She then went back on her promise. I don’t really know whats going on here but I hate it - I think Dawn Marie is just a manipulator who is enjoying messing with Torrie and her dad Al for the sake of doing it. 

So amazingly, I need to make an apology here as Al Wilson is in fact Torrie Wilson’s real father. I assumed he was an actor but no - this is her ACTUAL dad. Incredible.

Al looks very uncomfortable as Dawn drags this out before finally showing us the footage.

It felt like this played for an extremely long time and between how bad the acting is and the long, long silent pauses is just deeply uncomfortable to watch. I’m not a prude and seeing two beautiful women in their underwear kiss is one thing but on a wrestling show while one of their real life fathers is being forced to watch is creepy. Al Wilson thankfully stops the video and demands Dawn stop showing it, which gets lots of boos. Jesus Christ. Dawn consoles her fiance as Jerry Lawler and JR rejoin commentary King complains about the footage being cut short. For the record, when I was a kid and watched this at the time I remember my friends loving all this “HLA” stuff and me hating it then too. I don’t like this kind of hyper-sexuality during wrestling shows. If I wanted to see that kind of material there’s other things I can watch.

Batista (w/Ric Flair) vs. Kane

Getting back to some actual wrestling, Batista lands the first big shots but this is his biggest challenge to date. During this match, you can hear fire extinguishers in the background - Kane’s entrance pyro set part of the stage on fire! 

Batista’s PPV debut is a low, pondering match as every time Kane fights back the big man shrugs him off and gets his first real near fall with a spear, and then a suplex.

On the outside, Flair tries to get involved and lights up Kane with some chops to the chest which the big red machine no-sells and grabs him by the throat. The distraction did help and Batista attacked him from behind to take it back into the ring.

Kane fights back and hits the flying clothesline but we’ll never know if that was enough to win as Flair distracts the referee. 

Kane goes for a chokeslam but Batista elbows out of it and hits his big spinebuster, which Kane kicks out of. Kane hits a desperation chokeslam but takes too long to cover, and then gets distracted again by Ric Flair on the apron. Kane pulls him into the ring and beats him up but pays for it when he walks into a Batista Bomb and Batista wins a short, pretty terrible big man vs. big man match.

Smackdown John Cena and his sidekick B2, or B Squared, or Bling Bling Bucanan as John calls him come out onto the stage and rap for us. The camera would not stop moving so it was very hard to get a screenshot of them. It’s not particularly interesting - no one can stop me, I’m taking over WWE etc.

WWE Women’s Championship

Victoria © vs. Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline

I’ve given a lot of praise to Raw’s womens division lately, especially since Victoria showed up. Smackdown’s women’s division is ruining it for everyone, and storylines lke Stephanie McMahon offering to sleep with Scott Steiner to make him sign with Smackdown or blaming her bad moods on being on her period are hurting things. But Raw’s women are leading the charge into being taken more seriously and I’m grateful for that.

This PPV marks the debut of Victoria using Tatu’s “All the things she said” as her theme song, which is sadly edited off my version of the show but here it is for you to enjoy anyway.

Jackie shows off some really fast moving martial arts to take early control with kicks and leg sweeps. Trish goes for the Stratusfaction but that’s blocked into a back suplex. All three of these women are some of the better wrestlers in the division so this is all nice and clean and crisp so far.

Victoria brings Trish down off the top rope with a big superplex and Jackie tries to steal the pin, unsuccessfully. 

Jackie throws Trish out of the ring and gets a near fall with a crossbody, and then with all three back inside there’s a flurry of kicks and near falls.

Victoria’s attempted moonsault is blocked by Jackie shoving her to the outside and Trish hits Jackie with the Chick Kick. She’s delayed in going for a cover and it seems like an odd delay and someone was out of position. I think they were in the wrong corner as Trish goes for another pin on the otherside of the ring and Victoria swings the women’s title belt into Trish’s head, undetected by the referee and steals the pin.

Victoria retains the title and her stealing isn’t done as she steals Trish’s hat too.

Back in his locker room, Kurt Angle riles up Brock Lesnar by reminding him of all the things Paul Heyman did to him and lied to him about at and since Survivor Series. Brock suggests that Kurt got his suspension lifted so he’d help him and while he still won’t confirm being in Kurt’s corner, he does promise that Angle won’t regret it. Kurt leaves Brock alone with his thoughts but does put on a video tape of Survivor Series and Paul Heyman screwing him out of the WWE title, to make sure the Next Big Thing is as angry at his opponent as possible.

WWE Championship

The Big Show © (w/Paul Heyman) vs. Kurt Angle

I’m not convinced this match needed a video package as it’s technically heel vs. heel and came together 10 days ago, but the video is more about Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar than it is about Big Show or Kurt Angle. 

I don’t want to call WWE Champion Big Show an afterthought but Heyman has spent more time holding that title belt in the past month than he has. I don’t like the term transitional champion but…well, no spoilers. We’ll get to it.

Kurt Angle is a two-time WWE Champion previously beating The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin. That’s an impressive resume. 

Kurt moves at 100mph to make up for how slow Big Show is, flying around the ring and being dumped up and over the top rope, landing on Paul Heyman. Kurt even dives off the top rope to the floor but he’s caught and effortlessly thrown into the security wall. Kurt is the best, but that’s not news.

The 500lbs champion throws Kurt Angle around with ease - Big Show was always at his best when working with Paul Heyman either in front of or behind the camera. 

Michael Cole, while stressing how big the champion is, mentions that earlier today Big Show showed him his ring and he could fit three fingers inside it. He means his WEDDING ring, you perverts.

The crowd is solidly behind Kurt Angle, and they have been for a couple of months now. He was the default babyface in his feuding tag team partners story with Chris Benoit and how good he’s been this year has won lots of people over. Everyone loves Kurt - he’s too good not to! 

He breaks a bearhug by biting Big Show’s nose and jumps on his back with a sleeper, trying to choke him out which works and gets him down to one knee. 

Show fights back but Kurt battles through and hits an Angle Slam out of no where. Big Show kicks out but it allows him to go for the ankle lock, which Big Show rolls out of and grabs him by the throat. He tries a chokeslam but Kurt rolls through THAT too into the ankle lock. Show kicks Kurt off and he crashes into the referee, knocking him down and out. 

Paul Heyman takes the chance to throw a steel chair into the ring - interesting, it lands closer to Kurt Angle than it does to his client Big Show - and so its the Olympian who uses it, knocking Big Show out cold! The referee wakes up enough to count but Big Show kicks out and Kurt lands on the referee, taking him out again. He doesn’t see Big Show tap out to the ankle lock. The A-Train who seems to be in cahoots of his own with Heyman and Big Show runs down and drills Kurt with his backbreaker and runs off through the crowd. 

With all three men down in the ring (including the referee), Brock Lesnar picks his moment and runs down to floor Big Show with a giant F5. He chases Paul Heyman away from the ring, sprinting backstage after his former manager as back in the ring, Kurt crawls into a cover and gets the three count. Kurt Angle wins his third WWE Championship!

This match wasn’t anything special but was too short to be bad and had plenty going on at the finish which I appreciated.  Very happy to see Kurt Angle as WWE Champion once again. 

Raw’s Rob Van Dam is standing by at The World in New York City to give his thoughts on who might win tonight’s main event. He thinks that Shawn Michaels has Triple H’s number and he hopes he's right because he loves seeing Triple H get his ass kicked. Not particularly insightful but thank you Robert.

A lot was made of Shawn Michaels coming back from his 1998 “retirement” and rightfully so. He was The Man, before Stone Cold took off and I’m sure in hindsight it stings that he missed the hottest period in wrestling history. On balance, it was better for him as the time away from wrestling allowed him to beat his substance abuse issues, meet his wife and find God and whatever you think of that, he found his peace and was a much better, more respectful man. Why am I talking about this? Well because in the build up to this show, Shawn talked about knowing when to walk away, and not wanting to overstay his welcome or perform longer than his body would allow him to. He didn’t want to become a joke and give poor performances, and Shawn never did. Right up to his eventual retirement in 2010, HBK continued to crank out masterpieces and had arguably the greatest final match in history at Wrestlemania 26 with The Undertaker. It’s all especially relevant as two men who he’d come to be closely identified with - Ric Flair and The Undertaker - both massively overstayed their welcome and continued to wrestle long past the point where they were still capable of giving the fans a good match. It’s sad but also understandable and it must be a tough thing for a wrestler to decide. No one wants to admit that they’ve “lost it” and Shawn Michaels in 2002 absolutely had not lost “it”. 

2 out of 3 Falls match for the World Heavyweight Championship

1st Fall - Street Fight rules, 2nd Fall - inside a Steel Cage, 3rd Fall (if needed) - Ladder match

Shawn Michaels © vs. Triple H

Does this feud go back to July when Triple H turned on Shawn? To 1997 when they formed D-Generation X? To 1995 when they first became best of friends? The answer is yes to all three. This very good video package starts at Survivor Series with HBK’s big comeback.

Triple H has a big bandage on his thigh and a bit of a limp. His trachea injury is all healed up at least. 

Ric Flair is immediately ejected from ringside, kicked out before the bell has even rung to begin this match. Triple H protests and pays for it when Michaels attacks him to get this street fight off and running. 

The bigger, stronger Triple H gets the early advantage when the match goes to the outside and is the first to introduce a weapon, getting a trash can from under the ring. HBK hits a cool springboard crossbody off the ropes onto the trashcan and then brings out a table. The fans start chanting “we want tables” after its already been introduced which confirms they aren’t paying attention. 

Triple H takes over and sets up a second table on the outside, trying to suplex Michaels up and over the top rope to the floor through both of them. That’s blocked but in the ring, The Game continues to keep things slow. He brings a steel chair into the ring and goes for a backbreaker onto it - something he’s done before - but Michaels counters out of it and hits one of his own! Shawn then focuses his attack on Triple H’s lower back. It's surprising that he wouldn’t go after Triple H’s obviously injured leg but I suspect that's because it really is bothering him and HBK doesn’t want to make it worse for real. 

Triple H blocks a Sweet Chin Music attempt and wrenches the champion’s knee, which is where he puts his focus now. He keeps the tempo low and locks Shawn in the Figure Four which he escapes by getting to the ropes. Triple H wastes no time blasting him with a trash can lid and the match heads up the ramp and gets more violent in turn. At the top of the ramp, Triple H retrieves a 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire to use as a weapon but then uses the flames that are part of the Armageddon set to set it on fire first. Shawn Michaels ducks the swing and manages to use it himself, hitting Triple H in the head with a flaming 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire, busting The Game open!

HBK has control and takes the fight back down to the ringside area and sets up a chair but it comes back to bite him when he’s dropped face first into it, but Michaels counters the Pedigree attempt with a low blow and mounts a comeback, kipping up but it hurts his leg and a chop block leads to a Pedigree and Triple H wins the first fall, going up 1-0 as we head into the steel cage match. Triple H moves quickly, getting a table into the ring and making sure he has plenty of weapons in the ring before the steel cage lowers and surrounds the ring. Howard Finkle explains that this portion of the match can only end via pinfall or escaping the cage. Triple H sends Michaels into the cage over and over, grinding his face on the steel so that now both men are bleeding heavily. Michaels fights back and sends Triple H into the cage himself and follows up with a Lou Thez press and throws some punches - one of Stone Cold Steve Austin’s trademark moves, which gets an odd reaction from the crowd, I thought I heard some boos?

Triple H tries to escape, quickly climbing the cage and looking to escape. With both men fighting it out on the top of the cage, Ric Flair comes back down to ringside for a closer look. Triple H calls for Flair to do something and the instructions were to set up more tables - the two they set up earlier are turned into a stack of four by the Nature Boy. The fight back into the cage and the crowd boos - I think everyone expected one of these men to come off the top of the cage onto the stack of tables but be patient, Florida.

There’s an odd botch as HBK is shouting to either Triple H or Ric Flair to “MOVE”, wanting to set up the next spot. Flair comes into the cage and Triple H almost escapes out the door while HBK fights him off. Michaels grabs a steel chair and blasts both of them and Flair becomes the third man to bleed being thrown into the steel cage by the showstopper over and over. Michaels gives Ric a beating and counters a Pedigree and follows up with a pair of Sweet Chin Music superkicks! He doesn’t go for the cover and instead sets up the table Triple H brought into the ring earlier. We find out why as in an awesome spot, HBK comes flying off the very top of the cage with a splash, driving Triple H through the table! That gets him a three count and Shawn Michaels evens this match up to 1-1 as we now head into the third and final fall - a ladder match! 

An extremely bloody Flair is taken away from the ring by referees as the World title belt is hung high above the ring. Michaels wastes no time and gets a ladder into the ring as quickly as possible before Triple H has even recovered.

He hits Triple H with the ladder and then sets it up, looking for a splash from the top. Triple H rolls clear and while Michaels does catch him a little, he misses most of the contact. Triple H hits a Pedigree and starts to climb the ladder but he’s far too slow and HBK pulls him down and drops him with a Sweet Chin Music, sending The Game tumbling out of the ring! Michaels starts to climb and as he reaches the top of the ladder, Triple H recovers and pushes the ladder over, sending HBK crashing all the way to the stack of four tables at ringside, crunching in the entrance ramp. Michaels is down and out for the count and an exhausted, bloody Triple H climbs the ladder and regains his World Heavyweight Championship winning this match 2 - 1 in an awesome, bloody display. 

What a great main event! This main event elevates this show from being a fairly nothing B PPV to being worth watching. Another PPV with lots of title changes and for the second month in a row, both brands' World titles change hands. Triple H and Kurt Angle rule their respective brands as we head into 2003 and towards the Royal Rumble and the end of my journey.