Monday Night Raw - August 2nd, 1993

• This week's Raw is in a different arena, but still in New York state. This is only the third location they’ve taped the show, but they have all been in different parts of New York. Vince spends a lot of the show talking about how beautiful this part of New York is and how close they are to the Canadian border. 
• The opening match is WWF Tag Team Champions The Steiner Brothers vs. Barry Hardy and Duance Gill. The Steiners have issued an open challenge for Summerslam. The event is in their home state so they’re excited to defend the titles there against anyone bold enough to accept the challenge. The Steiners win this with Scott’s Frankensteiner hurricanrana.
• In the first of what Vince calls a five part series, Lex Lugar speaks to us in a pre-recorded interview. This one is all about his school days, academics and sports at school. It’s oddly serious and the way it’s edited, melting one shot of him into another, makes it looks like he talked and talked and talked and had to be edited down. He was a nice boy who excelled in school, and was very shy and introverted. Vince wanted people to see him as an All American, perfect human, mega-babyface. The official contract signing and face to face confrontation between Lugar and Yokozuna is next week on Raw.

• Adam Bomb takes on a jobber. I still find his pairing with Johnny Polo to make less than zero sense, and Polo confirms it as all his ringside banter is about how great he is, not mentioning Bomb once. He wins this with the Atom Smasher. You can see it in the screenshot below but this was the first point where I noticed how tiny this arena looks. 

• They promote a big match for next week as the undefeated Tatanka faces the also undefeated Mr. Hughes. Spoilers I’m afraid but that’s the last we’ll be seeing of Hughes. More on that next week, obviously. 
• Macho Man Randy Savage - a man who could and should be main eventing and carrying the company on his back at this point in 1993 when stars were so few and far between - takes on Doink the Clown. I love both these guys and despite Doink’s gimmick, they are both fantastic wrestlers. Macho Man has dedicated this match to his friend Crush who is convalescing in Hawaii after taking four Banzai drops from WWF Champion Yokozuna. Doink gets the advantage early with an eye poke and then jumping a frustrated Savage while he argues with the referee about it. Heenan his fantastic during this with his jokes and arguing with Vince about the multiple-Doinks gimmick. “The winner of this match gets custody of Todd Pettengill”. Last week, Macho said he has a surprise of his own and as he crawls under the ring, on the otherside side a midget dressed as him (and wearing a haunting realistic mask) crawls out! Doink goes after mini-Macho and chases him around the ring right into the waiting arms of the real Savage. Macho beats up Doink and picks up the win with a small package. Doink is furious - he doesn’t like getting a taste of his own medicine. How very silly all of this was.

• Summerslam Report! Another match added to the card - Shawn Michaels defends the Intercontinental Championship against Mr. Perfect. Those two started feuding at Wrestlemania and had a few run-ins but this one feels like it’s been off the boil for the past month.

• On the phone, Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase calls in. Remember the match they set up between him and the 1-2-3 Kid? It happened on WWF Wrestling Challenge and, thanks to a distraction by Razor Ramon, the 1-2-3 Kid picked up the victory with a surprise rollup. Ramon has gone from hating the kid to helping him win and celebrating his victory over someone else. 

• In the arena, Jim Cornette heads down to the ring. Bobby “The Brain” Heenan is VERY excited to see him and rushes to the ring to hug him. That confirms to the crowd that he is a heel. Jim Cornette runs Smokey Mountain Wrestling, which Vince mentions in commentary. Bobby bigs him up - Cornette is the best manager in the history of wrestling, he says. So what is he doing here? Cornette returns the praise - he’s only the best because Bobby retired! Jim Cornette in recent times is a controversial figure - on his podcast he spouts a lot of old school wisdom and mocks a lot of what is popular in wrestling today. He is a gifted talker and really was a great manager in his day. He’s here to promote the greatest tag team of all time, the Heavenly Bodies Gigalow Jimmy del ray and Doctor of Desire Tom Pritchard. He calls them the object of every woman’s desire and he’s here to challenge The Steiner Brothers on behalf of them. At Summerslam, The Steiners defend the WWF Tag Team Championships against The Heavenly Bodies. He berates Scott and Rick and tells them that if they don’t accept his challenge they are stinking, yellow cowards. He and Heenan have one last big hug to loud boos from the crowd and after a commercial break, Cornette joins commentary with Vince and Heenan for the remainder of the show and confirms that the Heavenly Bodies will both be on Raw next week to get their answer from the Steiner Brothers, as well as promising he has some other surprises up his sleeve.

• The main event is Mr. Perfect vs. Barry Hardy. He’s wearing a Mr. Perfect style singlet so Perfect strips that off him and finishes with the Perfect-plex.

Monday Night Raw - August 9th, 1993

• Macho Man is back on commentary this week and at the top of the show promotes that the Macho-Midget makes his in-ring debut this week. Lord save me.
• The opening match is Mr. Hughes vs. Tatanka, a match they promoted last week. Tatanka is undefeated, but Hughes has been pushed as a monster since his first appearance. Hughes charges Tatanka in the corner and misses, hitting his face on the ring post which smashes his sunglasses, blinding him. Tatanka follows up with a string of shoulder tackles but when they fight to the outside Tatanka gets back into the ring at the last second and wins via count out. Harvey Whippleman gets in Tatanka’s face but its a distraction so that Hughes can hit him with Undertaker’s urn which he still has possession of. He’s left laying and Hughes has the last laugh, leaving with the urn held high. That strong presentation makes it all the more baffling that this is the last we’ll see of Hughes (until 1995 at least). He was released from his contract a few days later, I assume for being rubbish.
• This week’s “Who is Lex Lugar?” video is all about his sports history. He was amazing at every sport at school and at college. He does at least mention that he had some behaviour issues at school, but sports helped keep him on the straight and narrow. How inspirational.

• The Bushwackers and the Macho-Midget team up against the odd ball team of  Blake Beverly, the Brooklyn Brawler and a midget in dungarees who’s name they didn’t say. There’s promotion during this for the Bushwacker’s match on All American with another new tag team, The Quebecers. We’ll see a lot of them on Raw very soon. This is a nonsense house show comedy match. The fans liked it live but it’s not as much fun to see on TV. 90% of the match’s runtime is Luke and Butch playing to the crowd and posing. They launch Macho-Midget off the top rope into a splash and he wins the match for his team.
• Next up is the contract signing for the WWF Championship match at Summerslam. The ring is full of officials as well as all three commentators. Vince introduces Yokozuna first and to everyone’s shock, Jim Cornette enters with them. He has been hired by Mr. Fuji as Yokozuna’s American Spokesman. Jim cuts a blistering promo about how the Japanese people are great and deserve respect and the WWF and Jack Tunney have put Yokozuna at a disadvantage with the language barrier so he’s here to make sure nothing ever slips by them again. He double checks the contract and after Lex enters (in a very smart suit) and leads the crowd in a thunderous USA chant. With the contract quickly signed, Cornette informs him of the new stipulation added - if Lex doesn’t win the title, he will never ever get another shot at Yokozuna. It’s one and done for Lugar. Lex doesn’t care because he IS going to win the title at Summerslam. This was a good segment, and adding Cornette as Yoko’s second manager is smart because Fuji is a terrible promo. 

• Razor Ramon takes on Dub Duniel, which is definitely a fake name. What is Dub short for? We’re told here that Razor is facing Ted Dibiase at Summerslam, and that he will be on The King’s Court to talk about that and the 1-2-3 Kid and more on All American Wrestling this week. I’m sure we’ll hear all about that next week on Raw. Razor wins this with the Razor’s Edge.
• The Heavenly Bodies, with Jim Cornette in their corner, take on two jobbers to show us what they can do. The Steiners haven’t yet accepted their challenge to a title match at Summerslam but Vince hypes up that if they win, it would be the first time an outsider from another company (Smokey Mountain Wrestling) has won a WWF title. I’d like you all to remember that Cornette called these men “the object of every American woman’s desire” when you look at the men below. Gigalow Jimmy del Ray being a ladies man HAS to be a joke. He looks like a dog with a mullet. I do enjoy his sexy body wave dance. Magic Mike he is not. A moonsault off the top rope into a pin gives them the win. Del Ray is a decent wrestler to be fair. We apparently haven’t heard enough from Jim Cornette yet so he gets on the mic for the fourth time tonight to re-iterate the challenge to the Steiners for a WWF Tag Team Championship match at Summerslam. 

• There’s a promo for the Summerslam Spectacular that takes place eight days before Summerslam, and is in lieu of an episode of Raw that week. Same deal as the March to Wrestlemania earlier this year basically. I’ll be covering it and it features a non-title match between Yokozuna and Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and a steel cage match between The Steiners and Money Inc. 

Monday Night Raw - August 16th, 1993

• We waste no time this week and get right into the opening match. Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase has a rematch with the 1-2-3 Kid. The Kid beat him two weeks ago on Wrestling Challenge (thanks to Razor Ramon) and so has a Summerslam match with Razor but is determined to get his win back tonight. He also has a tag team steel cage match at the Summerslam Spectacular to get ready for! Vince McMahon confirms that both IRS and Razor Ramon are banned from ringside for this match. The 1-2-3 Kid still looks like a little boy. Razor Ramon calls in during this match and doesn’t have much to say but he and the 1-2-3 Kid now seem to be friendly, united by common enemies (Money Inc) and maybe Ramon has a bit of respect for the Kid now? The commentators don’t really explain his total change of heart. IRS ignores his ban and comes to ringside, attacking the 1-2-3 Kid and causing a disqualification. The 1-2-3 Kid wins but pays for it, being hammered by Money Inc two on one until the WWF Tag Team Champions Scott and Rick Steiner run down to rescue him and send their Summerslam Spectacular opponents running for the hills.

• The Headshrinkers take on a pair of jobbers. One of them gets knocked out by a superkick and spends the entire match not moving. I’m sure he was fine and just selling because no one attended to him. The Headshrinkers team with Bam Bam Bigelow to take on The Smoking Gunns and Tatanka at Summerslam. I’ll post the full, final card before I get into the show itself but added during this week’s Summerslam report will be my first look at Helsinki’s Ludvig Borga in a match vs. Marty Jannetty. 

• That leads directly into Marty’s match tonight against the gross 400lbs+ Bastion Booger. Booger sits on Marty but it’s reversed into a sunset flip for an impressive win over a much bigger opponent. 
• Vince McMahon interviews Money Inc in the ring. They’re both still all sweaty from getting physical earlier. IRS talks about his match with the 1-2-3 Kid which has just been added to Summerslam and promises his credit will run out. Dibiase says something similar about his match with Ramon, and then they mock The Steiner Brothers. They might be bigger, faster and even stronger but they’re stupid - they only have 10 IQ points between them! He says they’ll win all of their upcoming matches basically. Important points that needed to be made for sure.

• Mo and Mable, with Oscar taking on Barrow Horowitz and…some guy? I didn’t catch his name. It’s a big showcase victory for Men on a Mission. I still find the commentators calling them MOM a bit weird but the fans are pretty into this team already - they love singing and chanting along with them. Wave your arms like you just don’t care.

• This week’s “Getting to know Lex Lugar” videos is about drugs in sports and steroids. Very interesting subject matter for the WWF to tackle, and especially someone as hugely muscular as Lugar. This is definitely in response to Hulk Hogan and the controversy about steroid abuse in wrestling at the time. It had been bubbling away since late 1992. It’s the reason this era in wrestling saw the departure of so many big, muscular dudes to be replaced by smaller athletes like Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart. I’ll talk a lot more about that as it comes up periodically over the next year or two. 

• In the main event, Bam Bam Bigelow takes on the long, blonde, flowing mullet and bushy moustache of Rich Myers. Bigelow beats the tar out of him and finishes with a diving headbutt to win the match. 

• All night long, Macho Man Randy Savage has been hyping up that he has a big surprise for everyone and at the end of the show we finally learn what it is - its the Macho-Mudget leading four very attractive ladies to the ring. It’s the Raw girls, but Themis Klaridis is the only one they’ve used for the past month. I think that’s the point. These are the new Raw girls going forward? Weird. The show actually ends with an advert for the Summerslam Spectacular which has a decent card - effectively a PPV all on its own! 

• This is the last episode of Raw until September 13th as next week we get the two hour Summerslam Spectacular on the Sunday instead, Summerslam is on a Monday night, and then the following week is a holiday weekend in the States. 

Summerslam Spectacular - August 22nd, 1993

• Much like the March to Wrestlemania, this entire event is available on the WWE’s official Vault YouTube channel;

• The show opens with a Jim Ross narrated video package for tonight’s Yokozuna vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan match. Last time they met, three Banzai drops broke Hacksaw’s ribs so this is the big return match. JR and Gorilla Monsoon are handling the commentary and this was filmed in the same arena as Monday Night Raw, given away by all the Raw barriers dotted around the arena. The commentators are clearly on a green screen too - the truth is, this was all taped on August 16th. 

• The WWF Champion in non-title action is first. There’s no Jim Cornette at ringside because when this was taped, he hadn’t debuted yet but JR and Gorilla talked about him. There’s a nice moment in the opening as Jim gives a special congratulations to Jim and his wife Deborah who had just had a little baby girl, complete with a picture of the proud papa. Lovely.

• The USA chants are relentless all through this match and they only get louder when Mr. Fuji gets a cheap shot into Duggan with his flag pole. Yoko dominates this match and with a massive 568lbs Banzai Drop, defeats Hacksaw again. He sets up a second one and wants to crush him all over again but the referees are on their toes and get him out of the ring in time. After the match, backstage Jim Cornette is standing by for an interview with Yokozuna by his side. I’m struck by how shiny and new the WWF title belt looks here. Cornette tells Lex Lugar that he has only himself to blame when Yokozuna crushes him at Summerslam. He has no pity, he has no compassion and he has no conscience. Jim tells Lugar that he’s going to be crying and begging himself and Mr. Fuji to stop the beating but no one can stop Yokozuna from crushing him over and over again with Banzai drops and ending his career.

• After a recap of the various run-ins between Ted Dibiase and Razor Ramon over the past month, The Bad Guy takes on Blake Beverly. He’s a babyface now because he’s feuding with Money Inc, but there’s still been no real explanation for how he and the 1-2-3 Kid are best buddies now. Blake gets most of his advantage in this match thanks to an exposed turn buckle but it backfires when Razor reverses him into it, finishing off with the Razor’s Edge to win this match. The fans have really taken to him - they go nuts for his victory here.
• There’s a cool commercial for Summerslam. Or I thought it was cool at least.

• In a pre-recorded video, Jerry “The King” Lawler is with Elvis Presley. Funnily enough this was very close to the anniversary of his death. It’s quite a good impressionist. They discuss impersonators and how Bret Hart is impersonating the King of wrestling. Lawler believes he is the ONLY King in wrestling and Bret is copying him. He says he’ll break the Hitman in half at Summerslam. Bret Hart has a response which is basically that he’ll make Lawler pay for bringing his family into this at “the Summerslam”. Bret loved to add The to things that didn’t need it. The Wrestlemania etc. 

• Tatanka and The Smoking Gunns team up for a six man tag against Barry Horowitz, Brooklyn Brawler and Reno Riggins. This is a preview for the cowboys and Indian team ahead of their match with Bam Bam Bigelow and The Headshrinkers at Summerslam. They don’t look very sharp here being isolated and worked over for a long time by the three jobbers. Billy finally makes a tag to Tatanka who comes in with chops and clothesines and back drops, finally finishing off Riggins with a crossbody off the top rope to win this match for his team.
• Peppered throughout this show there’s videos about Lex Lugar’s call to action campaign. The Lex Express went all over America trying to get the fans behind him and it seems to have worked. Lex was high-fiving kids and signing their casts, holding babies and shaking hands. There’s also the final “get to know Lex” video with him talking about role models and being a role model himself. It’s all basically cliche “believe in yourself and you can achieve anything” type stuff. 
• Mean Gene Okerlund interviews The Undertaker in the ring. No one is quite used to Undertaker turning off the arena lights for his entrance yet but it gets a big reaction when they come back on. It’s weird seeing him without Paul Bearer to do all the talking for him, and Mr. Hughes still has his urn. Hughes is gone from the company so he might never get that back. Mean Gene asks Undertaker what the rules are for the Rest in Peace match at Summerslam. He says that a Rest in Peace match is when he reaches inside his opponents body, pulls out their organs and returns to the Darkside with their soul. Ok but that’s not really a match stipulation is it? Giant Gonzales comes out with Harvey Whippleman and growls that this time Undertaker won’t get back up and it’ll be him who rests in peace. Undertaker removes his jacket and hat to fight but Gonzales just quietly slips out of the ring and leaves instead. Undertaker follows and it’s not exactly a high speed chase as the two walk slowly to the backstage area. 

• Shawn Michaels defends the Intercontinental Championship against Bob Backlund. Diesel has swapped his rhinestoned denim for all black leather and looks way better. More intimidating, despite his big bushy mullet. This is a longer match with lots of mat wrestling. Backlund might have the match won with a big atomic drop but Diesel distracts the referee to stop the count and Michaels steals the pin with a roll up, grabbing the tights.
• Vince McMahon interviews Ludvig Borga and has to ask him to speak English. Borga says that of course the stupid Americans only speak English. This will be his first Summerslam but it’ll be Marty Jannetty’s last. It’ll be both of your last. That leads into Jannetty having a match with Duane Gill. Jannetty puts him down with a bulldog diving off the top rope and follows up with a fist drop off the top rope for a victory.

• The main event of this show, after a Summerslam Report where Mean Gene runs down the full card, is the steel cage match for the WWF Tag Team Championships. A tag team match inside a steel cage wasn’t brand new but certainly doesn’t feel very 1993 does it? The Steiner Brothers face Ted Dibiase and IRS. The rules here are victory by escape only, but they’ve not specified if one or both men on a team need to get out. Money Inc run the Steiners into the cage and try to climb out but get stopped. This kind of match falls apart if you probe into the logic at all - just let one half of your opponents team get out and then you can just beat the other one down two on one until you’re ready to both climb out. It’s certainly how I always win this type of match in video games. This is a physical brawl where all four men spend most of their time fighting on the steel and standing on the ropes.

• IRS and Scott Steiner both climb out leaving this as one on one between Rick and Ted, however when Rick is about to escape, IRS goes back in to help Ted with a double team. Scott won’t allow that and climbs back up himself, coming off the top of the cage with a clubbing blow to IRS. So all four men are back in the cage. There’s more in and out of the cage and while I personally didn’t like this, the crowd were white hot for it which always helps and I did love the finish - Money Inc were about to escape but Rick Steiner, who was already out, blocked IRS and got him on his shoulders to stop him from touching the floor. That gave Scott time to escape, winning the match for the Steiner Brothers and they retain their titles heading into Summerslam. Rick looked like a real monster, holding the massive IRS up on his shoulders even while Ted Dibiase rained blows and punches on his mid-section. Great.

• The show ends with a special song by Men on a Mission and Macho Man. I loved this, it’s so cheesy. It does a good job of hyping up the main event for Summerslam too.

And so that brings us to Summerslam 1993! The card is deep and on paper impressive enough. I’m honestly impressed. Will the show deliver on the night the way King of the Ring did? 

WWF Championship

Yokozuna © (w/Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette) vs. Lex Lugar

Rest in Peace match

The Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzales (w/Harvey Whippleman)

Bret “Hitman” Hart vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler

WWF Intercontinental Championship

Shawn Michaels © (w/Diesel) vs. Mr. Perfect

WWF Tag Team Championships

The Steiner Brothers © (Rick and Scott Steiner) vs. The Heavenly Bodies (Gigalow Jimmy del Ray and Doctor of Desire Tom Pritchard, w/Jim Cornette)

Razor Ramon vs. Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase

The 1-2-3 Kid vs. Irwin R. Schyster

Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga

The Smoking Gunns (Billy and Bart Gunn) and Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow (w/Luna Vachon) and The Headshrinkers ( Samu and Fatu, w/Afa)

Summerslam - The Palace, Auburn Hills Michigan, August 30th, 1993

I loved the opening of this PPV! The Lex Express, while cheesy, is great BECAUSE it’s cheesy and the very 90s rock guitar rift that forms the Summerslam theme song is very much my cup of tea. And hey, how nice is Bobby’s jacket?

Razor Ramon vs. The Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase

Razor Ramon is now babyface because Ted Dibiase made fun of him. That seems to be the gist of it, and we’ve still not had any on screen explanation for why he’s now friends with the 1-2-3 Kid. More on him later. 

Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase’s first PPV singles match since Simmerslam 1991. He jumps Razor as soon as he gets in the ring and doesn’t even let him get his ring jacket off, peppering him with chops and right hands until Ramon comes back with a back drop, fall away slam and finally gets his jacket off as Ted regroups on the outside. Razor is all pumped up but Dibiase slows things down and chips away at Ramon with more strikes and starts to grind him down with a backbreaker and a big clothesline, going for a pin after each more. Ted was a great wrestler.

A deep sleeper almost puts him out and I’ll take this moment to say that I really like the colour of Razor’s gear tonight. I usually do like his gear to be fair.

Razor fights back to his feet and gets on a roll with a back elbow and a clothesline but is countered to the outside. Ted exposes one of the turnbuckles while the referee is distracted but it comes back to bite him as Razor reverses and sends Ted face first into it, following up with the Razor’s Edge to win a match which was too short to be good, but certainly wasn’t bad.

This was Ted Dibiase’s final WWF match. He went to Japan after this match and wrestled for AJPW, mostly in tag teams. In November of 1993 he suffered a herniated disk and that ended his career, never wrestling again. It’s a shame as he really was one of the all time greats but retiring so early means he was forgotten by a whole generation of fans. We will see him on WWF TV again though.

Before the next match, Todd Pettengill tries to have some fun with the mother and sister of the Steiners who are in the front row. I don’t know if their mum didn’t understand his joke or if she’s just a miserable cow but Todd didn’t get any banter out of her. His sister joined in though and he had a funny bit about her trying to date with two brothers like Rick and Scott watching her back.

WWF Tag Team Championships

The Steiner Brothers (Rick and Scott Steiner) © vs. The Heavenly Bodies (Gigalow Jimmy Del Ray and Doctor of Desire Tom Pritchard, w/Jim Cornette)

Before the match, Jim Cornette (wearing a neck brace, which Vince says is due to something that happened in Smokey Mountain Wrestling) introduces his tag team, the Heavenly Bodies. Del Ray and Pritchard are decent wrestlers but there’s next to no heat for this match. The Steiners did get a big reaction from their homestate fans at least. Much like the opener, the heels jump the babyfaces as soon as they get into the ring and beat on them before Rick can even get his ring jacket off. The Steiners quickly come back and throw their challengers around with a backdrop, a monkey flip and a belly to belly suplex. The Steiners are awesome, and even being pre-Freakzilla, Scott Steiner is in incredible shape. To be so big and muscular while also being so fast and agile makes him a freak athlete and in modern wrestling he’d have been World Champion a dozen times over.

The match settles down with Scott and Pritchard as legal and he continues to effortlessly throw around both Heavenly Bodies before tagging out to Rick, who does the same. Del Ray and Pritchard are totally outmatched here and bail to the outside to collect their thoughts - Cornette screams at the camera man for getting to close to them while they discuss strategy. Good stuff.

The Bodies finally slow down the champions with a double team trip and bulldog on Scott and then Jimmy rolls him outside to moonsault onto him from the apron - great stuff - before bringing him back inside the ring to be worked over with more double teams and quick tags.

The Steiners mount a comeback and a desperate Cornette throws his trademark tennis racket to his men, so they can knock out Rick Steiner. That might be it but he kicks out! The Heavenly Bodies set up a standing moonsault from Del Ray, which won them a match on Raw, but Rick pulls Scott out of the way and Jimmy lands on his own partner. A Frankensteiner later and Scott pins Pritchard to retain the WWF Tag Team titles in another fine match which was again too short to be bad, but not long enough to be good.

Vince McMahon throws to their new broadcast colleague Joe Fowler, who is standing by to interview Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels and Diesel. The big man speaks for the first time - he’s only here to be Shawn’s bodyguard to keep the chicks off him. That’s a good line.

WWF Intercontinental Championship

Shawn Michaels © (w/Diesel) vs. Mr. Perfect

This match started with a heated exchange back at Wrestlemania and to be honest, the interaction between them has been pretty few and far between since then. This is a match you can throw on a card and people will be excited though so it doesn’t need a ton of build.

They start out with some fast wrestling exchanges. Shawn goes for the headlock but Perfect takes him down and works on the arm with an arm wringer and some knee drops. The pace picks up and Perfect wins that exchange too and a frustrated Michaels stamps his feet, angry at being outwrestled by a man whose name is quite literally “Perfect”. Don’t be too hard on yourself Shawn.

They continue in that vein, keeping the match at a slow pace and Perfect continues to focus on Michaels’ arm. His finishing move at the time was still the Teardrop suplex so that’s not a bad strategy. They pick up the pace off the ropes and Perfect launches the champion up and over the top rope and when he follows him out, has his first run in with Diesel. The distraction lets HBK score with a superkick and finally take control of the match.

Michaels focuses his attack on Perfect’s lower back, sending him hard into the corner and hammering on it with sledges and bending him across his knee. Perfect does have a history of lower back issues which almost ended his career more than once. 

Perfect mounts a comeback and out of nowhere, hits the Perfect-plex. Diesel pulls him out of the ring to break the count and the two brawl. Michaels dives out after him but is also fought out. Perfect throws Michaels into the ring and he knocks into the referee so he doesn’t see Diesel run Perfect into the ringsteps. The count continues and Mr. Perfect is counted out - Shawn Michaels retains the Intercontinental Championship in a pretty nothing match. Diesel and Shawn beat up Perfect and leave him laying in the ring, and Todd Pettengill gets a quick interview with Shawn as he leaves where he claims to be the greatest champion of all time. Perfect chases after him. 

Considering these two are legendarily good wrestlers, this match was poor. Shawn commented on that in his book and said that they were both also disappointed. His theory was that both men were best at playing heel and bumping around the ring to make their opponents look good, and so when they battled each other it was a clash of the same style which just didn’t really work. A shame, as this is Perfect’s last WWF PPV match until the 2002 Royal Rumble match. 

Backstage, squeaky voiced Joe Fowler interviews the 14 year old looking 1-2-3 Kid about his first PPV match. He is nervous but excited. The 1-2-3 Kid’s gimmick was basically designed to be someone for the kids in the audience to identify with and get behind.

The 1-2-3 Kid vs. Irwin R. Schyster

In the ring, IRS has a microphone and calls Detroit a city full of tax cheats. This kind of gimmick would only ever work in the United States. They should do an evil doctor gimmick who injures people intentionally so that they have to pay huge medical bills.

The Kid strikes fast with a spinning heel kick for the first near fall of the match and IRS backs off to compose himself. 

The first couple of exchanges go the same way until the much bigger IRS slows things down with a long sleeper. There’s a hilarious botch as the 1-2-3 Kid mounts a comeback and runs Irwin’s head into the turnbuckle but he stops and IRS doesn’t notice and the camera catches him bouncing his own head off the top turnbuckle twice.

The Kid scores with more big kicks for near falls but IRS scores with a big jumping clothesline off the mat and even though he takes ages to go for the cover, that’s enough to defeat the Kid. Lame finish. He calls that clothesline the Write Off. 

Todd Pettengill has another ringside family member interview, this time with Owen and Bruce Hart. It was supposed to be Stu and Helen at ringside but Stu had knee surgery so couldn’t make the journey. They’re both dressed in beige and maybe it’s just my opinion but both have haircuts that make them look like little boys.

Bret enters first and looks motivated to kill Jerry Lawler tonight after all the nasty things he said about his family lately but it looks like he won’t get his wish - The King enters on crutches. He has a big ice pack taped to his knee so it’s a bit silly so that we all immediately pick up on the fact that he’s faking to avoid this match. This slow entrance without his usual promo while he walks means we get a good listen at Lawler’s theme song. It’s very babyface - so triumphant and epic! Todd Pettengill scuttles over to ask King what’s going on here. He says that he hates Bret Hart and his whole stinking family. Referees have to hold Bret back so King can explain what happened - he runs down the “Detroit made” car he drove to the arena before blaming an old lady for causing a 10 car pile up. His leg was twisted and mangled in a car wreck! He is a brave King however and insisted on still coming here to get his hands on Bret Hart. BUT, the doctors have insisted that he not compete, so he has a replacement opponent for Bret tonight - Doink the Clown! Awesome, I LOVE Doink. 

Bret “Hitman” Hart vs. Doink the Clown (w/Jerry “The King” Lawler)

When Doink comes out, he has two buckets and throws one at the crowd - it has confetti in it! Gotcha! He then throws the second one at Bruce - that one is full of water! Bruce is furious and jumps the barrier, having to be held back by referees. Hilariously, that was a prank set up by Owen and Bret backstage because they knew it would drive Bruce nuts. 

Bret attacks Doink with strikes, happy to take his frustrations out on him and beats him around the ring as Lawler winces and cheers on the clown from ringside. 

Doink is a great wrestler and counters Bret into a clothesline and then slows things down, throwing him in and out of the ring and coming off the top with an axe handle. Doink hammers on Bret as Vince and Heenan discuss his own technical skills, even compared to the great Bret Hart. He focuses on the leg with a knee breaker and then wraps his leg around the ringpost as Lawler cheers and laughs at the Hitman’s misfortune. 

He grinds Bret down with an STF and when Bret fights out of it with elbows, he’s shut back down immediately with a blow to the ribs. Doink locks in his stump puller finishing hold but Bret gets to the ropes to break that. 

Doink does for his big butt splash off the top rope, but Bret gets his knees up and then locks the clown in a Sharpshooter. That’ll no doubt end the match but Lawer is healed - it’s a miracle! - and blasts the Hitman with his crutch. He hammers him and then helps Doink out of the ring, happy with what he’s done. Bret wins by disqualification but doesn’t look like a winner.

King and Doink are almost out of the arena when WWF President Jack Tunney stops him. He makes the ruling that if King doesn’t compete against Bret Hart right here, right now, he will be banned from the WWF for life! Bret attacks him and brings him back to the ring to start this officially.

Bret “Hitman” Hart vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler

Bret takes down one of his straps and isn’t worried about wrestling King, hammering on him with elbows and punches and even hits him with his own crutch. The referee rather kindly doesn’t call for the disqualification and lets it continue as Bret’s two brothers cheer him on. Bret is too amped up and as the referee gets distracted by the over excited Owen and Bruce, King uses what’s left of his crutch for a cheap shot and to choke the Hitman on the outside and get some semblance of control.

King pulls him crotch-first into the ring post which also doesn’t cause a disqualification. King continues to try and use his crutch as a weapon, distracting the referee and hitting him in the throat and chest.

For all of King’s cheap shots and cheating, hatred is a hell of a motivator and Bret continues to get back up, no-selling and pulling down both his straps. He wails on Lawler some more and sends him around the ring with a backdrop and a backbreaker, followed by a piledriver which looked awesome. 

Bret locks in the Sharpshooter and King submits, but this isn’t over as Bret refuses to release the hold. He sits down deep on Lawler and keeps him clamped in the Sharpshooter as the ring fills with more and more referees and officials. Finally, after about four minutes, Bret Hart releases the hold. The referee makes a judgement call and has reversed his decision - because Bret refused to break the hold, he’s now disqualified and Jerry “The King” Lawler is the undisputed King of the WWF.

Bret is furious, but only has himself to blame. Though no one can blame him for wanting to hurt Lawler after all he put him through lately. In Bret’s book he mentioned that he actually did try to hurt Lawler a little during this sharpshooter as payback - a few minutes earlier, King was a little clumsy with his crutch shots and caught Bret hard in the jaw, hurting him.

King is loaded onto a stretcher and rushed out of the arena - Owen and Bruce got their own cheap shots in on him as he’s wheeled out - and hilariously raises his arm in victory before he disappears. I really enjoyed all of this - I love Doink, and it was a creative bit of booking for the time.

Earlier today, Ludvig Borga made some nasty comments about America and Lex Lugar. He walked around a dilapidated part of the city and compared it to the rest of America. “I bet the Lex Express never stopped here”

Ludvig Borga vs. Marty Jannetty

Borga didn’t wrestle for very long. He’s quite a successful musician in Finland and has appeared in a few movies. Most notably he plays one of the evil goons in Die Hard 3 - he’s one of the fake cops that Samuel L. Jackson hands a diffused bomb about half way through the movie. 

This is really just a showcase match for the newcomer who they have big plans for, but Marty has been on a bit of a roll lately in fairness. 

Borga works over Marty with big punches to the stomach. That’s legitimately the only move he does for the bulk of this match.

He locks in a bearhug which Marty fights out of and then he avoids a big punch and rocks Borga with a pair of superkicks but he doesn’t leave his feet. Party Marty jumps off the middle rope with a crossbody but he’s caught and slammed. After more punches to the ribs he picks Jannetty up across his shoulders in a torture rack which gets the submission victory in a very dull match. The fans barely react and his farty trumpet sounding theme song doesn’t help. It’s the Finnish national anthem which is fine, but that’s not a good wrestling theme song.

There’s a commercial for the Survivor Series which is on Thanksgiving Eve. That’s not important for now - i’m sure there will be plenty of other, better commercials for it - but what is interesting is that Vince addresses the camera and tells us that nothing else will come close and not to be fooled by any other PPVs. That’s a reference to WCW presenting their own Battlebowl PPV four days prior.

Rest in Peace match

The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Giant Gonzales (w/Harvey Whippleman)

With Mr. Hughes now gone, Harvel Whippleman has inherited the urn and now gets credit for having stolen it. Gonzales has barely been on TV since Wrestlemania which is just as well because he is rotten in the ring. 

Undertaker only started turning the lights off for his entrance in the last month and it’s so cool, it’s amazing it took them three years to figure it out. This is the start of him slowly raising his arms to bring the lights back on - he has magic powers!

Gonzales gets in shots and Undertaker sits back up. He wrestles with more focus and speed, something both Heenan and McMahon comment on. On the outside, Gonzales uses a steel chair and runs Undertaker into the ringsteps which confirms that a Rest in Peace match just means no disqualifications really.

Gonzales slowly works over Undertaker in the ring as he crawls for his urn, reaching out for the power. His familiar Gong sounds and that summons the return of Paul Bearer, who we haven’t seen since before the King of the Ring. Bearer comes down with a black wreath and when Harvey Whippleman charges him ,he runs right into a clothesline. Paul Bearer regains the Undertaker’s urn and the crowd goes WILD! This gimmick is so popular! With the urn back in Bearer’s hands, the power flows to the Undertaker and he sits up. He’s unstoppable now and a string of punches, clotheslines and finally a diving one off the top rope finally knocks Gonzales off his feet AND keeps him down for the three count. The Undertaker wins a pretty dire match, but it was better than their effort at Wrestlemania for sure. No more big singles matches for Giant Gonzales please.

This story isn’t over - after Undertaker and Bearer leave, Gonzales and Whippleman argue over who is to blame for the loss of both the match and the urn. He then hits his now-former manager with the ugliest chokeslam of all time. Considering his size, Whippleman got about 2 feet off the mat. He basically just push-tripped him. 

Joe Fowler’s first night on the job continues. He interviews Jim Cornette, Mr. Fuji and the 568lbs WWF Champion Yokozuna. The camera stays focused on Yoko’s big scary, serious face as Cornette rants about how the Steiners cheated earlier and then turns to Lex Lugar - he needs to look at the last face he might EVER see. Yokozuna has no pity and shows no mercy. He tells Lugar to reach out and draw all the power he can from all the common people all across America because it will never be enough to stop the mighty Yokozuna. The last thing he’ll hear tonight is Yokozuna shouting Banzai! 

Tatanka and The Smoking Gunns (Billy and Bart Gunn) vs. Bam Bam Bigelow (w/Luna Vachon) and The Headshrinkers (Samu and Fatu w/Afa)

I like the Smoking Gunns shirts. I do need to try not to judge the various styles of the time by modern standards but I really do find all the mullets and moustaches deeply offputting. I think mullets look so dumb! 

The questions here are whether three brutal savages like Bam Bam and the Headshrinkers can work together. I’m sure they can. I do like the optics of the cowboys and Indians teaming up. Bam Bam and Tatanka start things out for their teams and the big man has the early advantage. 

They move through tags without any real story - all six men need to have their turn being legal to do some moves before we move to the finish. When it does settle down, it’s Bart Gunn being worked over in the heel corner with Bam Bam throwing a big dropkick and the Headshrinkers tagging in and out, going for a pin after each and every move. 

After what felt like an eternity of Bart being worked over, he avoids a corner charge by Bam Bam and tags in Tatanka who comes in on fire, throwing chops and strikes and getting a close nearfall with a crossbody off the top rope on Bam Bam. A big jumping kick to the head stops his momentum and now it’s his turn to be worked over. The match breaks down and the Gunns are thrown outside the ring. Tatanka absorbs a triple headbutt during the three on one but when Bam Bam, Samu and Fatu go to the top ropes and try for a triple diving headbutt, Tatanka rolls out of the way of all three and rolls up Samu to get the victory for his team. Heenan is outraged, convinced neither man was legal. He might be right about Samu, but it hardly matters and Bart and Billy help Tatanka to the back.

Joe Fowler heads out to the Lex Express and interviews the driver. He’s sitting watching Summerslam on a monitor in his bus. That’s mean, let him come into the arena! He talks about how Lex Lugar is one of the greatest wrestlers of all time and tells a story about visiting a children's hospital and how much the kids faces lit up for him. Inside the arena, Todd Pettengill is in the crowd and interviews a fan dressed head to toe in red, white and blue. His mum made him an America toga out of bed sheets. 

We’ve got a fair amount of pro-America propaganda to get through before the main event can begin but my favourite part was Kiotika Suzuki singing the Japanese national anthem. He’s a TERRIBLE singer and the crowd loudly boos all of this.Given his outrage at the Canadians booing the US national anthem at Survivor Series 2024, I’m sure Pat McAfee would be just as upset by the fans in Detroit booing the Japanese anthem here. Next up, Macho Man Randy Savage comes out with Aaron Neville who sings the US anthem and that obviously gets a much more positive reaction. Macho is the “master of ceremonies” for tonight’s main event. I’m not sure what that means but the crowd are happy to see him.

I’ve touched on the Lex Express tour and Lex’s Call to Action campaign which was, if you’re cynical, the company begging fans to cheer for him as they worked to replace Hulk Hogan at the top of the card. Lex was a naturally heel, quiet and soft spoken performer so struggled to get the fans behind him but this presentation is undeniably strong. Lex did have his own music video and song during all of this - I’ll be your hero. It’s missing from all of these shows sadly due to copyright reasons but here it is - you can listen to that while I listen to Aaron Neville sing the US national anthem with a high pitched, wobbly voice. 

WWF Championship

Yokozuna © (w/ Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette) vs. Lex Lugar

Lex enters to the same marching band music he’s been using since his face turn on July 4th. The crowd is behind him. The COUNTRY is behind him. This really does feel like the moment for Lex.

They lock eyes in the middle of the ring and Mr. Fuji gets on the apron. It distracts Lex for a sneak attack but he sees it coming. They exchange right hands and Yoko comes out on top with a back elbow but misses his giant leg drop. Lex goes after Yoko’s leg with kicks and gets him caught up on the ropes. Yoko leaves his feet and a big elbow gives Lugar his first near fall of the match. They continue to avoid each other’s blows but when Lex tries a bodyslam, he can’t get Yoko up and hurts his back, walking into a clothesline. He’s thrown to the outside and the WWF Champion chokes him with part of his wrestling gear and squashes him against the ring post with a running charge. 

He swings a steel chair but Lex avoids that and fires back up with punches and gets the champion back in the ring, but then gets distracted pursuing Mr. Fuji. He drops an axe handle from the top rope but Yokozuna stays on his feet so he delivers a second. He’s STILL on his feet and finally a third diving blow off the top rope puts him down. It gets a close nearfall. He keeps charging with big clotheslines but can’t put the champion away and they collide in the middle of the ring with a double clothesline. Cornette distracts the referee so that Mr. Fuji can pass his salt bucket to the champion. He blasts Lex in the face with it but it takes him way too long to get into a cover and the challenger kicks out at two. Yokozuna drills Lex with a massive belly to belly suplex and Vince starts talking like Lex is beat - he has nothing to be ashamed of - and then pops huge for the kickout. Vince isn’t a great commentator but he has his moments. 

Yokozuna is dominating now and grinds down Lex Lugar with a double nerve hold which I think looks exceptionally fake as wrestling moves go, but it was a simpler time. The fans haven’t really bit on the last couple of nearfalls but do loudly chant USA for Lex and are still into this.

Yokozuna sets up the Banzai drop but misses, and as they two continue to trade blows, Yoko misses a charge in the corner and turns into a bodyslam!

He doesn’t get much height on it but considering Yoko’s size, it’s impressive. Mr. Fuji gets on the apron and gets punched in the face. Jim Cornette gets the same treatment and a charging forearm smash knocks Yokozuna out of the ring! The referee counts and Lex Lugar wins this match…by countout. 

He celebrates and the ring fills with babyfaces to hoist him up on their shoulders, confetti and balloons raining from the arena ceiling. Vince McMahon continually repeats that Lugar won the match and everyone ignores the fact that he is NOT the WWF Champion. The fans seem to have picked up on it and they don’t give him much of a cheer. Lugar looks like an idiot here, celebrating his non-title victory with such pomp and circumstance. Vince does his best to rescue it, hammering home that there will be so much pressure on WWF President Jack Tunney to give Lex another Championship match. The PPV ends with the I’ll be your hero music video, but on my version of the event the song has been dubbed with something else entirely.