Backlash 2000 - MCI Centre, Washington D.C, April 30th, 2000

The WWF goes full opera with the opening video package and It’s wonderful.

Normally I’d make a comment about there being so much focus on the people NOT in the match (the McMahons, the referee, Stone Cold) but The Rock and Triple H have fought each other so many times on PPV in the past couple of years that there’s nothing wrong with freshening things up.

The PPV opens with Debra being introduced - she is marrying Stone Cold in real life, so it’s probably not a coincidence she’s back here too. They’ve had nothing to do with her since Jeff Jarrett left, and here she is the special guest ring announcer for the opening match. She is…famously terrible. Seriously, people still make jokes about the bored, disinterested way she announces these two teams. I think she was trying to be sexy?

WWF Tag Team Championships

Edge and Christian © vs. D-Generation X (Roaddogg and X-Pac w/Tori)

DX entered first, followed by the champions. Edge and Christian are still babyfaces but since winning the titles they have shown a lot more “confidence” however this has very much come across as arrogance and manifested as a borderline heel promo on The Hardyz the night after Wrestlemania, and running down everyone including fellow babyfaces during guest commentary appearances. It’s nice seeing them show a lot more personality.

Edge and Christian dominate the slow, opening exchanges here but the fans are hot for it and loudly chant “X-Pac sucks” over and over. 

With a little help from Tori holding him in position by the hair, X-Pac hits the Bronco buster on Christian and takes control with…a sleeper? An odd transition. 

DX isolates Christian and works him over but after a reverse DDT counter, Edge givs Roaddogg a diving headbutt from the top rope while the referee is distracted for a near fall. 

DX tries to double team and get a double reverse DDT and the fans explode for the hot tag to Edge. The action is fast with Edge and X-Pac in the ring and there's a lot of confusion about which member of DX is legal. Edge spears Roaddogg as X-Pac takes out Christian and after some Tori interference backfires, Edge almost wins with a roll up.

As the referee goes out to argue with Tori, X-Pac hits the X-Factor on Edge and has the tag team titles won but Christian blasts him in the head with the ring bell and reverses the pin. Edge and Christian retain the tag team titles (thanks to the ring bell) in a short but exciting match that the fans were REALLY into from bell to bell. 

X-Pac’s head is badly cut open from the ring bell shot.

The Rock arrives at the arena in a limo and the big, show-long storyline is that while everyone else is here - Stone Cold Steve Austin hasn’t arrived at the arena. Maybe he’s stuck in traffic? Washington DC is famous for, among many other things, terrible gridlock traffic. 

WWF Light Heavyweight Championship

Dean Malenko © vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

With his partner Grandmaster Sexay on the injured list, Scotty has tried to make a go of it in singles action. He actually defeated Dean for the title a couple of weeks ago and racked up a defence or two on Sunday Night Heat but on the final Smackdown before this PPV, Malenko regained his title with a roll up leaning on the ropes. Dastardly. 

This is the first appearance of the new, redesigned Light Heavyweight title belt. The red strap has been swapped out for a black one, and the plate has been updated to have the current WWF Attitude scratch logo rather than the blocky old school WWF logo it's had since its debut in 1997.

Scotty starts quickly and overwhelms Malenko with clothslines and a DDT but Dean rallies and turns this into a brawl which favours him. He works over Scotty with strikes to the leg and turns his attention to working on his knee.

A running dropkick to Scotty’s knee gets an actual gasp from the crowd and looked great as he then locks in holds and drops elbows across Scotty’s knee. 

His attack on the knee gets vicious with brutal kicks that cause Scotty to flip. The fans are so red hot for the event that even this undercard match is getting loud reactions and a VERY loud “Scotty” chant more than once. It’s lovely.

Hotty does fight back as best he can but his knee is bothering him and he’s shut down after several punches connect. 

Scotty’s hope spots consist of roll ups but Malenko is always on the ball and quick to shut him down and punishes Scotty with a great looking superplex.

Scotty then mounts his most significant comeback with a pair of roll ups and then reversing a suplex attempt with a flurry of punches, and then a powerbomb into a running bulldog and the fans EXPLODE for him setting up the Worm! 

The fans below “W - O - R - M” with him as he hops around the ring and the chop to the throat connects but Malenko basically no-sells it and pulls Scotty into a roll up, again using the ropes.

The referee catches him this time and the match continues.

Malenko spikes Scotty with a double underhook powerbomb but he’s able to kick out. A lovely snap powerslam gets another two. The fans are so hot for Scotty’s kickouts. 

Dean hangs Scotty across the top rope and climbs to the top rope, but Scotty catches him and follows up trying to set up a superplex of his own. In an awesome spot, Dean counts it and jumps forward off the ropes and drills Scotty with a DDT from the top rope! The fans react strongly to it, as does King and JR and that’s enough for Dean to cover and retain his Light Heavyweight Championship in a great match.

This match is a nice capper for the recent resurgence of the Light Heavyweight title. It started with Esse Rios winning it and there were defences and title matches against the likes of Taka Michinoku, Christian and Jeff Hardy on Raw, Smackdown and Sunday Night Heat. With the debut of Dean Malenko who was, by most measures, the head of WCW’s Cruiserweight division there was a small but noticeable focus added and with Dean winning the title, that string of appearances of the title and short, high quality matches on TV continued. This short program with Scotty and the title trading back and forth was in a lot of ways the final hurrah of the championship as this is  the last time it would be defended on PPV until the 2001 King of the Ring PPV. Dean does continue to be a featured player as champion through the rest of 2000, even if the focus isn’t on his title and defences.

I always liked the Light Heavyweight title and there were points where the WWF had a deep roster of talented, popular and highly gimmicked light heavyweights who could have supported this division but alas, it was never fully capitalised on. Why? Well due to Vince McMahon’s stigma that small wrestlers can’t draw in fans. There’s plenty of exceptions to that rule in history but they never did change his mind. 

That DDT off the top rope did really look awesome though. 

In a backstage segment with Triple H and Stephanie (sitting in his lap) with Vince and Shane McMahon, Vince bolsters the ranks of the McMahon-Helmsley regime by confirming that his long-time stooges - Patterson and Brisco - are once again heels and back with them. He then tells them to be on their toes because tonight is “all hands on deck”. 

The APA (Bradshaw and Faarooq) vs. The Big Bossman and Bull Bucanan

These two teams are big, nasty and brawlers which means which match is either going to be amazing or awful. Bradshaw and Bull start it up and get very physical and Bradshaw hits a massive shoulder block off the top rope almost right away. 

JR once again reminds us all that Bull’s real name is Barry. I’m not sure why he keps mentioning that but he always does.

The two teams trade big moves as the fans loudly chant “Bossman sucks”. I’m sure I’ll mention it a bunch of times during this show but this is an awesome crowd - they’re so excited and invested and into EVERYTHING. 

I was right about the match - it’s awful. There’s lots of awkward jostling and miscommunication as Bossman is out of position and he and Bradshaw have a really dodgy looking exchange. It gets better when Bull is tagged in and it breaks down into familiar tag team match territory with Faarooq being isolated and worked over.

King makes some jokes about Bossman and Bull’s (kayfabe) history in law enforcement and his comments about officers getting a little too rough would get him cancelled nowadays. As would JR’s assessment that “if you stay out of trouble then you’ve no reason to worry about the law mistreating you”. 

This match is messy and the finish is off. Bradshaw gives Bull the Clothesline from Hell and has victory in hand but Bossman breaks up the three and then they just…carry on wrestling. Bossman grabs his nightstick and shortly after he hits Bradshaw behind the referees back and Bull picks up the victory with a diving scissor kick off the top rope.

This match was pretty poor, but is noteworthy as this would prove to be The Big Bossman’s final WWF PPV appearance. He’s not leaving entirely, he just won’t be on PPV.

Backstage, Matt and Jeff Hardy agree that tonight’s match is every man for themselves and “may the best man win”. Elsewhere when Crash Holly says the same thing to his cousin, Harcore slaps him in the head and tells him not to be soft.

At ringside, King asks JR if he took part in the big march that took place in Washington that same day. JR says “hell no”. I googled it. It was the LGBT Millennium Pride march. So this innocuous little comment was in fact King jokingly calling JR gay, and then JR being deeply homophobic in response. 

Six Pack Challenge for the WWF Hardcore Championship

Crash Holly © vs. Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Hardcore Holly vs. Perry Saturn vs. Tazz

The match begins quickly - weirdly, Perry Saturn enters last - and all five challengers try to cover Crash. The Houdini of Hardcore slips out of the ring and runs off, climbing one of the huge swinging hooks at the entrance ramp. 

He climbs about 20 feet in the air followed by Matt Hardy who runs his head into the metal. Crash falls - hanging his legs in the scaffold - before tumbling down onto the other four men. Matt Hardy then follows with a dive down onto all five men which gets a “holy shit” chant. Jeff Hardy rounds out this fun little exchange using the giant metal staging by swinging from the hook into a hurricanrana on Saturn.

Back down at the ring, Tazz uses a trash can to light up his opponents but no one has time to cover anyone with so many men involved. 

Jeff Hardy dives from the top rope to the floor and there’s more pin attempts on the mats at ringside, all breaking up each other's covers. 

There’s not a lot of action to report here and the fans are the quietest they’ve been all show. The men aren’t doing moves or spots, they’re just loosely brawling with weapons and getting a lot of two counts on each other. 

Tazz locks in a Tazzmission which is broken up and the crowd finally wake up when The Hardyz get a ladder from under the ring. They use the ladder and double team their opponents smartly taking everyone out to make it a one on one match between them.

A Twist of Fate on Crash from Matt is followed by an incredible Swanton Bomb from the top of the ladder. Matt and Jeff then turn on each other fighting over who gets the pin, and Tazz wipes them both out with a double clothesline before locking a Tazzmission on Crash. The fans explode sensing the end is near. Saturn knocks out Tazz with a huge stop sign, Hardcore Holly pulls him out of the ring to the floor and then Matt and Jeff dive onto them both. 

In the ring, Crash crawls into a cover and pins Tazz. Crash Holly wins and once again barely holds onto the Hardcore title.

There’s actually a pretty famous botch at the end here as The Hardyz music plays by mistake. It's covered up on the WWE Network by BLASTING Crash’s music instead so we can’t hear the commentary. 

This had its moments but wasn’t as much fun as the 13 man match at Wrestlemania.

Jonathan Coachman interviews Shane McMahon who promises to be a fair and impartial referee in tonight's main event. NO ONE believes that. 

The Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

There’s an honest to goodness video package for this match. 

The Big Show is not a main eventer anymore - his goofy fun loving babyface turn has made him more popular than ever but it's a slide down the card. Kurt Angle on the other hand is very much on the rise. Losing two titles at Wrestlemania (without being pinned) hasn’t hurt him in the least. 

Kurt cuts a promo on his walk to the ring. It’s full of jokes about politics in the year 2000 which haven’t aged well. 

What HAS aged well is that The Big Show comes out to Real American, dressed and mimicking Hulk Hogan. This is a huge sign that the WWF was in no way sweating their battles with rival WCW. Hogan was still one of their big stars at this point but the WWF has no issue doing this. Show does a brilliant impression of Hogan which gets a big laugh from commentary and the crowd. This is all really great stuff.

Kurt jumps on Show who “Hulk’s up” as King and JR absolutely bury the gimmick and by association, Hogan. He does Hogan’s full finisher attack with the big boot and the Immortal Leg Drop and there’s a huge gasp of shock when Angle kicks out. Awesome.

Angle goes on the attack and works over Show’s leg with a chop block and some elbow drops. The fans chant “Hogan” and JR says that more people are chanting Hogan tonight as they have in years.

Show has had enough and loses his temper, throwing off the bald cap and throwing Kurt from corner to corner and lighting up his chest with massive chops and finishing the Olympian quickly with a great looking Chokeslam. The fans are SO into this version of The Big Show. Fun loving goof who loses his temper and just KILLS people really works. 

For fans of this particular meme, you might be wondering how many times Big Show has turned in his now 14 month long WWF career? This is the 5th. Debuted as a heel, turned face at Wrestlemania 15, turned heel over the summer of 99 when he teamed with The Undertaker, turned face again when Taker left and he had his WWF title run, turned heel just before the Royal Rumble 2000, and is now a babyface again. 

In the front row of this event is the lead singer of the Smashing Pumpkins and future NWA owner Billy Corgan. 

T&A (Test and Albert, w/Trish Stratus) vs. The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley)

This one, amazingly, also has a video package. That is a testament to just how much of a reaction Trish Stratus was getting in her early career. This one has THAT Trish promo too - in her lingerie, stroking tables. I mentioned it during the Preview too but every wrestling fan of a certain age remembers these promos. This was the moment literally millions of young people confirmed definitively that they like girls. 

There’s not a lot to say about this match as it breaks down to Test and Albert isolating and working over D-Von, who works to a hot tag to Bubba.

The noteworthy things in this match are Bubba’s constant screaming at D-Von to fight back, and loudly calling Trish “a slut”, plus Albert’s fake tan running down onto the chest of his white t-shirt thanks to how much he’s sweating. It looks horrific. I dunno what he was thinking. 

JR does comment on how much these four men seem to be swearing - Bubba, Albert and Test all scream curse words at each other during big moves more than once. The fans chant “we want tables”. 

Bubba finally gets the tag, and JR and the fans embarrass themselves by incorrectly shouting 3D when The Dudleys do a move that was not the 3D. Albert kicked out. Test then misses a top rope elbow drop and as The Dudleyz set up the actual 3D, Trish jumps up on the apron and distracts Bubba. Test boots D-Von in the face and covers to officially win the match, but that isn’t important. Bubba grabs Trish by the hair and after both Test and Albert take a 3D each, he sends D-Von out to get a table. The fans cheer but this is all a bit unpleasant as Trish fights for her life while Bubba holds her hair. She really doesn’t deserve this.

Trish kisses Bubba again to try and escape but it doesn’t work and - with a pretty violent looking powerbomb off the top rope - finally drives Trish through the table. The fans were so loud and Bubba looks like he orgasmed at having finally done it. I’m really not sure what Trish did that was so evil as to have “deserved” this but it’s done. 

As Trish is loaded onto a stretcher and tended to by the medical staff, Jerry Lawler makes comments about loosening her clothing and giving her mouth to mouth. JR shifts into his sad voice and the more serious they make this seem for Trish the more deeply uncomfortable the whole thing is. The whole “violence against women” thing in the Attitude Era had its moments but this is a good example of a time where it was just a bit gross and went too far. 

In a seamless transition, as Trish is taken out to an ambulance in the parking lot we encounter Eddie Guerrero and Chyna who have just arrived from Eddie’s prom! He passed his GED and is wearing a tuxedo and Chyna is in a lovely tight red dress and carrying roses. Eddie then drives his car all the way down the ramp and to the ring in what would eventually become his trademark. Eddie does his best to get ready for his European title match as we see another video package about the formation of Eddie and Chyna’s partnership and their recent run ins with Esse Rios and Lita. The feud doesn’t deserve a video package but Eddie and Chyna do. 

WWF European Championship

Eddie Guerrero © (w/Chyna) vs. Esse Rios (w/Lita)

Eddie has his arm bands and elbow pads on but wrestles in his tuxedo pants and leaves his cumberbun and bowtie on, which is a funny look. 

The action is fast and furious but the fans are pretty drained by now and this one doesn’t get a lot of noise. 

The first significant spot is Eddie sidestepping Esse’s dive to the outside and he takes a rough landing on the mats at ringside. He follows up with a crisp senton over the top rope and works on Rios’ back. 

Guerrero throws his challenger to the outside where Chyna gets in a cheap shot before passing him back inside. 

Esse does fight back and gets a near fall with a missile dropkick but Eddie fights back out of a sleeper with a jawbreaker and the pace finally picks up a bit. They get a reaction from the fans with a massive monkey flip sending Eddie clear across the ring. Chyna gives Rios some more cheapshots on the outside and then Eddie follows up with a dive to the outside himself. He sets up a powerbomb on the outside, but when Lita climbs to the top rope, she’s shoved by Chyna all the way down into a rough landing on the announce desk. That distracts Eddie enough for Rios to fight back with a backdrop and then an insane moonsault off the ropes to the outside and a landing that was half on and half off the announce desk which looked great. He then runs across the ring and gives us another spectacular dive over the ringpost to the outside. 

He sets up another big dive but Chyna trips him, and Eddie follows up with a superplex back into the ring. Eddie hits a brainbuster and goes up for the Frog Splash but Esse chases and hits an armdrag off the top and sets up a moonsault of his own. Eddie gets his knees up and right into Rios’ ribs, and then follows up with a spinning crucifix neckbreaker which looks great and gets the three count.

Eddie retains in a fine match that the fans didn’t get into. 

After the match as Chyna and Eddie embrace, Esse dropkicks the European Champion into Chyna, and then Lita tears her dress off leaving Chyna in some lacey baby blue bra and panties. 

She’s angry at first but as Eddie checks her out and the fans give her a loud, positive reaction she gets into it and proudly shows off her body instead. She does look great.

Jonathan Coachman interviews WWF Champion Triple H and WWF Women’s Champion Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. He asks the champion why he seems so calm, cool and collected. Triple H says that he is The Game and that he is That Damn Good, so why wouldn’t he be confident? He then pivots to asking Vince McMahon about a “surprise” he has for us tonight. Vince smugly says that he has heard that Stone Cold has encountered some transport issues and might not be here tonight. JR refers to Vince McMahon as being like “Tony Soprano” to which King reacts like he’s an alien and has never heard such a reference. That's funny in hindsight as at the time I’m sure it was a brand new obscure TV show reference but HBOs The Sopranos has gone on to be one of the best known and most beloved TV series of all time and Tony Soprano one of the most famous TV characters of all time. So Jerry Lawler is an idiot is what I’m saying here. 

Elsewhere, Michael Cole asks Intercontinental Champion Chris Benoit about his match with Y2J and Jericho saying that he should be Intercontinental Champion. Benoit says that Jericho keeps calling him a robot but unlike a robot he has emotions and he’s going to enjoy hurting Chris Jericho, and he’s very happy about what he’s about to do to his challenger. 

WWF Intercontinental Championship

Chris Benoit © vs. Chris Jericho

Chris Jericho retorts to Benoit’s pre-match promo during his walk to the ring. It’s more jokes about politics in the year 2000 which much like Angle’s promo earlier haven’t aged well. 

The two Canadians lock up and it's intense as they shove each other from corner to corner and fall out of the ring, still locked up, before trading stiff slaps to the face. 

They exchange more crisp counters and takedowns on the mat before reverting to stiff knife-edge chops to the chest. Each one connects with a hard crack and gets a “woo” from the crowd before Jericho gets some mounted punches and controls the match. JR says that Jericho has been in the WWF for “about a year” (it’s been eight months) and that Benoit has been in the WWF “for about 4 months” (it’s been two)

They fight back to the outside and Benoit goes after Jericho with a dive through the ropes which Jericho sidesteps and Benoit lands hard on the ringside mats, head first. 

Jericho pulls out the ring steps and Benoit whips him into them. Jericho runs up and over and thinks he’s saved himself but then Benoit dropkicks the steps into Y2J’s legs. That was a nice spot.

Benoit stomps Jericho down in the corner and shouts abuse in his face but that just fires Jericho up and he fights back until a dropkick is counted and Benoit starts chopping and pummelling him down in the corner again. 

Jericho fights out of an abdominal stretch and gets a back elbow after sending Benoit to the ropes, but his Lionsault attempt is blocked with Benoit getting the knees up. 

Benoit hits back with more stiff chops but Jericho rallies with a spinning heel kick out of the corner and then a running bulldog which gets a two count. They fight over a suplex and Jericho brings Benoit ribs-first down on the top rope and goes for a springboard dropkick which Benoit blocks. Jericho stops an attempted dive off the top rope and gives Benoit a reverse suplex from the top rope, which Benoit tries to counter in midair and lands on Jericho with a bang for another near fall. 

They then fight over a backslide, which Jericho gives up and spins Benoit into a double powerbomb before collapsing, too tired to cover. By the time he gets a pin, Benoit has recovered enough to not just kick out, but counter into the Crippler Crossface. 

He wrenches back on Jericho who fights and fights and gets his feet on the bottom rope to break the hold for a big cheer. Benoit drags him into the middle of the ring and tries to put the hold back on but Jericho fights free and locks in the Walls of Jericho!

Benoit is able to hold on and he gets to the ropes to break that hold. 

Jericho tries a running forearm but Benoit ducks and its the referee who’s knocked down. Benoit takes advantage and gets his Intercontinental title belt.

He knocks out Jericho and revives the referee but Y2J kicks out. He suplexes Jericho and goes up top for the diving headbutt, and as he dives, Jericho raises the Intercontinental title belt up into the air and Benoit strikes his head on it right in front of the referee.

Chris Jericho is disqualified and Chris Benoit wins the match and keeps his title. There’s some confusion at the finish as it seems like the referee disqualified Jericho for the accidental forearm and we don’t see that he used the title belt until the replay. 

Benoit has a bloody nose and the title belt shot actually did badly hurt him.

A furious Jericho snaps and puts referee Tim White in the Walls of Jericho as Benoit leaves with his title belt. 

WWF Championship

Triple H © (w/Vince McMahon and WWF Women’s Champion Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley) vs. The Rock (w/Stone Cold Steve Austin)

Special Guest Referee: Shane McMahon

There are six different people on the match graphic for this singles match. It is loaded. The video package is a good one, as is The Rock’s pre-match promo which I’ve included in the video capture. 

Referee Shane McMahon enters first. He was the referee of the main event at Backlash last year too. Shane McMahon loves refereeing matches. Triple H looks great with the WWF title belt during his entrance - he looks like a champion and since his main event run started in the summer of 1999, his physique has improved and increased too. The man looked like he’s made of marble. I mention all of this because at this point in time, as of April 26th 2000, the WCW World Champion was actor David Arquette. A publicity stunt by WCW and Vince Russo which would live forever as a hilarious footnote in the death of WCW.

Vince McMahon grabs the mic and draws our attention to the line in the event program which says “card subject to change” and breaks the news that Stone Cold Steve Austin will not be here tonight. The fans loudly boo, of course.

Thankfully, that turns into a loud “Rocky” chant and the focus remains on him and his WWF title pursuit. The bell rings and the two men take a moment to enjoy where they are and the crowd reaction. They are electric. The paused for too long as the fans then start chanting “We want Stone Cold” which must have bugged the men in the ring and they go on the attack. 

Triple H bumps for The Rock’s big punches and a reverse elbow. Triple H goes for the Pedigree way too early and is backdropped and stomped in the corner until Shane McMahon steps in. The distraction allows Triple H to come back with a neckbreaker. The fight then goes to the outside and Triple H runs his challenger into the ring steps and the announce table. Shane discusses things with Triple H and Vince runs The Rock into the ring post before throwing him back in the ring. Shane gives Triple H a big hub before the cover, and The Rock kicks out. 

Triple H keeps up the pressure and grinds Rocky down with a deep chin lock but he doesn’t let his arm go limp three times and so the match continues. You never see that spot anymore! 

The Rock finally has a chance when he counters mounted punches in the corner with a flapjack dropping Triple H face first into the top turnbuckle. The two men hit the ropes and a big double clothesline has them both down. Shane actively tries to wake up his brother-in-law as he delivers the standing ten count. With Shane paying attention to Triple H, Vince gets up on the apron and hits The Rock in the head with the WWF title belt. Triple H covers and Shane gives a VERY fast count but The Rock still kicks out at two. The fans periodically chant “Rocky” but also keep bursting out into “Austin” chants which I’m sure bothered Triple H and The Rock.

The Rock mounts a comeback with punches and a big clothesline before whipping Triple H out of the ring and following out with a clothesline. Rocky runs Triple H into the announce table and drops The Game with a nice DDT in the ring. Shane refuses to count, which we all knew would happen. The Rock gets in Shane’s face before punching him out of the ring.

Triple H jumps Rocky from behind and the fight continues with no referee by the announce tables. Triple H clears off the Spanish announce desk and looks like he wants to put The Rock through it, but The Rock fights back and goes for a Rock Bottom. Shane tries to stop him, so he pulls Shane into position and drives them BOTH through the table with a double Rock Bottom! That looked awesome (even if it didn’t make sense) and got a monster crowd reaction. Vince and Stephanie look on, mouths open in shock. Shane definitely took the brunt of the punishment on that move! 

The Rock drags Triple H back into the ring, but when Vince McMahon gets into the ring it distracts Rocky. Triple H comes from behind with a low blow and then a Pedigree but there’s no referee to count. Vince beckons for a new referee and here comes Patterson and Brisco both dressed as referees. The Rock kicks out! 

The two new referees then start stomping on The Rock and while Vince gets a steel chair, hold him in position for Triple H until finally - finally - the glass shatters.

It’s Stone Cold Steve Austin and he is pissed! Austin has a steel chair and with the crowd going absolutely mental, he lights up Triple H, Patterson, Brisco, Shane, Vince and then finally Triple H again! Austin drops the chair and leaves having knocked out six people and as he does, Linda McMahon leads reinstated referee Earl Hebner to the ring. 

Linda shoves Stephanie and The Rock drops Triple H with a spinebuster and a People’s Elbow. Linda sends in Earl and he counts a slow, dramatic three count. The Rock wins the WWF title and the fans are so loud the building must be shaking. The People’s Champion is once again the WWF Champion. The Rock’s fourth WWF title, as it happens. 

Before the PPV goes off the air, Stone Cold Steve Austin returns to the ring in his pickup truck and he tows the remnants of the exploded DX Express bus down to the ring! He and The Rock toast the WWF title with beers. A happy ending, and it’s hard not to think this is exactly how Wrestlemania should have gone last month. 

Elephant in the room - Austin looks like he’s put on a ton of weight. It’s something he acknowledged afterwards as his neck rehab in its early stages mostly consisted of eating a lot of cheeseburgers. He’ll be in much better shape by the time his real comeback rolls around.