Monday Night Raw - June 6th, 1994

When Raw begins, the ring is already surrounded by Lumberjacks for the opening match - Tatanka vs. Crush for the final 8th spot in the King of the Ring Quarter finals. Of note, everyone who’s already advanced in the tournament as well as Yokozuna, Doink and the Smoking Gunns are there. There’s some tension as IRS and Razor briefly come to blows but are split up and take positions across the ring from each other. The ring fills with babyfaces and heels and there’s a big stand off and the referee has a hard time calming everyone down enough for the match to begin properly. Tatanka’s current feud is IRS, but Crush’s - Lex Lugar - has been barred from ringside by President Tunney to keep this match fair. The story has what you’d expect - Crush is big, strong and slow and Tatanka’s comebacks are fast and full of strikes. The babyface lumberjacks throw them back in with no drama but the heel ones get in lots of cheap shots on babyface Tatanka. The action is fine but neither of these guys were great wrestlers. Competent. The match breaks down into a chaotic brawl and the heels lay out Tatanka and roll him back into the ring. Crush likely has the match won until Lex Lugar appears and knocks the big Hawaiian out with his metal forearm. With both men flat on their backs in the ring, Tatanka recovers first and crawls into a pin to win the match and officially advance to the Quarter finals of the King of the Ring tournament.

In the King of the Ring Report, Todd Pettengill shows us the final King of the Ring bracket as well as running down the other matches. There’s another video from Rowdy Roddy Piper throwing insults at Jerry Lawler. He ends each of his insults with “bottom line” which is the name of his segment, but doesn’t really make sense. I love Roddy Piper but I don’t like this. Todd also tells us that Bret Hart has said he will have “a family member” in his corner at the King of the Ring to watch his back and counteract Shawn Michaels who’ll be in Diesel’s corner.

There’s a commercial for the big match on the “Countdown to the Crowning” special which is next week’s show instead of Raw. The Quebecers get their rematch for the WWF Tag Team Championships against The Headshrinkers.
Bam Bam Bigelow faces John Paul. This match exists mostly for Vince and Macho to make each other laugh which I quite enjoy. Bam Bam wins with a sort of twisting splash on the mat.
On the USS Intrepid - the same aircraft carrier where Lex Lugar slammed Yokozuna last year - there was a special D-Day challenge where the WWF Superstars took part in a tug of war with some US Navy Seals. I bet that was a fun day out.

Jerry “The King” Lawler hosts the King’s Court and insults Scotland and keeps calling a kilt a skirt, which is another reason for me to hate him. He hypes up his guest who is from Scotland, wears a kilt and a t-shirt which says Hot Rod on it - everyone assumes he means Roddy Piper but it’s not, obviously. It’s a skinny guy dressed like Piper who, in fairness, does a spot on impression of him. He has a genuinely awful haircut. This segment was Roddy Piper’s idea - the kid was a superfan of his and wrote to him and sent a video of his impression and Piper loved it and asked Lawler to include him in this storyline which he was happy to do. Good stuff. The kid begs King to cancel the match and agrees to kiss his feet and then crawl out of the ring.

Razor Ramon closes the show in a squash match against Keith Davis. You’d recognise Keith if you saw him because his name isn’t Keith - it’s a VERY young Jeff Hardy! He has a short blonde tuft of hair and would have been a teenager at the time. Razor slaps him around and gives him all of his trademark moves like the fallaway slam and back suplex off the ropes, finishing with the Razor’s Edge.

Paul Bearer responds to Ted Dibiase’s comments from the past couple of weeks. His trail for The Undertaker has gone cold but he refuses to believe that Ted Dibiase could have bought his Undertaker. Back in the arena, Ted Dibiase has joined commentary (or more likely, they filmed this last week when he was already on commentary) and he says that he WILL produce The Undertaker this weekend on WWF Superstars.

Countdown to the Crowning - June 13th, 1993

Unlike the other specials, this one is NOT a two hour extravaganza and is in fact a special episode of Raw. It’s not on WWE’s YouTube channel so let’s not question where I found it. Vince McMahon and Macho Man host from WWF’s TV studios but throw to the WWF Tag Team Championship match which was promoted last week, Samu and Fatu defend against Jacques and Pierre. Stan Lane and Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase are on commentary and they immediately confirm that whichever team wins this, they WILL still defend against Yozozuna and Crush at the King of the Ring. Ringside is crowded with Johnny Polo, Afa and Captain Lou Albano all assembled around the ring. The Quebecers cut off and isolate Samu until he makes the hot tag to Fatu. A well placed double dropkick knocks the challengers down and a Samoan splash off the top gives them the victory to retain their Tag Team titles. Back in the stupid, Vince says that as a result of losing that match, Johnny Polo will now need to shave off his facial hair on All-American Wrestling next weekend.
Crush, Yokozuna, Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette address the Headshrinkers - they tell Samu and Fatu that they messed up listening to Captain Lou and says his Island boys (Japan and Hawaii) are going to defeat Lou’s (Samoa). Funnily enough, being that Yoko isn’t Japanese he’s also Samoan, he is in fact family to both Samu and Fatu.

This show is basically an hour long commercial for the King of the Ring but it DOES have one noteworthy addition - the first “New Generation” commercial! Vince and Macho are really proud of the New Generation and Macho calls himself the bridge between the old and new, which is fair.

Vince throws to a video recap of the 1994 Hall of Fame Class. At this point, only Andre the Giant was in the Hall of the Fame and is the reason it exists. Joining him were first ever WWF Champion Buddy Rogers, Chief Jay Strongboy, Classy Freddie Blassie, Arnold Skaaland, Gorilla Monsoon, Bobo Brazil, James Dudley and Pedro Morales. Vince and his wife Linda as well as most of the current WWF roster were there. Macho gets a bit emotional talking about how important it is to honour the greats of the past.
They replay the entire King’s Court from a couple of weeks ago when Jerry Lawler, Diesel and Shawn Michaels beat up Bret Hart. From there, Bret has his own retort - he doesn’t listen to a lot of talk, he respects action. He tells Diesel he can’t beat him on his own and while he may be a big tank, Bret is a Ferrari. Once Diesel is on the mat, him being 7 feet tall won’t matter anymore and his family member, whoever that may be, will back him up and neutralise Shawn Michaels.
There’s footage of how the eight men qualified for the King of the Ring - IRS pinned Scott Steiner with his feet on the ropes, Mabel squashed Quebecer Pierre with a 500lbs sidewalk slam, Razor Ramon put down Kwang with the Razor’s Edge and Bam Bam Bigelow moved forward with a slingshot splash onto Thurman “Sparky” Plugg. Double J Jeff Jarrett beat Lex Lugar by countout thanks to Crush, the 1-2-3 Kid defeated Adam Bomb when Kwang tried to assist but accidentally sprayed green mist into his own buddy’s face (they’re both managed by Harvey Whippleman which is enough to make them friends) and the Kid rolled him up for the victory, Owen Hart also won with a roll up on Doink after Double J distracted him and then finally in a Lumberjack match, Tatanka pinned Crush after Lex Lugar knocked him out with his metal forearm. So four of the eight needed outside interference to advance, and only Razor, Mabel and Bam Bam did so fairly. Bunch of cheaters!
Macho makes his predictions for who’ll win the King of the Ring, going match by match with absolute nonsense reasons for each victory. Vince looks like he has a really hard time not laughing - I get the feeling these two were great friends off camera. He predicts that in the Bam Bam vs. Jeff Jarrett final, Jeff will get distracted by a country western talent scout and Bam Bam Bigelow wins the King of the Ring. Love you Macho.

They show the King’s Court which featured the Roddy Piper impersonator on Raw and remind us that Piper will be donating a portion of his earnings “to the kids” and plug a PO Box where people can make their own donations to the sick kid’s hospital.
In the arena - or AN arena at least - President Jack Tunney introduces each of the eight King of the Ring Quarter finalists who come out one by one and line up in the ring around the throne, robe, crown and sceptre. A parade of contenders. I thought it might turn physical but it just…doesn’t and they just stand there.

Not a bad card at all, but it does feel like the big WWF title match is filler while both men wait for a match with their actual feuds (Owen Hart and Razor Ramon respectively)

WWF Championship

Bret Hart © (w/Jim Neidhart) vs. Intercontinental Champion Diesel (w/Shawn Michaels)

WWF Tag Team Championships

The Headshrinkers © (Samu and Fatu w/Afa and Lou Albano) vs. Yokozuna and Crush (w/Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette)

Jerry “The King” Lawler vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper

King of the Ring - Baltimore Arena, Baltimore Maryland, June 19th, 1994

One of the longer openings as there’s a Coliseum home video exclusive with the heels in tonight’s tournament arguing over who’s going to win, then Todd Pettengill running down the card properly, and then the American national anthem being sung. I’ve edited that part out but I have left in the commentator’s saying hello because we HAVE to talk about tonight’s guest commentator - local Baltimore sports legend Art Donovan, or “Art O’Donnell” as Gorilla Monsoon calls him.

King of the Ring Opening

I’ll mention him periodically I’m sure but lets get this out of the way up front - Art’s commentary is one of those legendarily bad moments in WWF history. He knows NOTHING about wrestling and has to constantly be reminded who people are and what’s going on. On multiple occasions he’ll ask about someone who he saw less than 30 minutes ago and already asked about, including Razor Ramon despite picking him to win the whole tournament. Just a car crash of epic proportions.

King of the Ring Quarter Final match

Razor Ramon vs. Bam Bam Bigelow (w/Luna Vachon)

Much has been made of the fact that Bam Bam got to the finals last year and Macho Man confidently predicts that IF he gets past Razor, he will win the King of the Ring tournament. Gorilla asks Art if he remembers Bam Bam getting to the finals last year - of course he doesn’t, he has no idea what Gorilla is talking about.

Bam Bam starts really aggressively, hammering Razor and dropping him with shoulder blocks. He goes for his diving headbutt early but misses and comes back, including driving Bigelow into the ring post, groin first. Bam Bam sidesteps a charge and Razor tumbles to the outside and Luna hops up on the apron to distract the referee.

I assumed Bam Bam would do something illegal there but he doesn’t and the match just comes back into the ring. Art Donovan continues to talk over both Gorilla and Macho, and reacts to everything like it’s brutal. It might be entertaining if he didn’t sound like a confused cartoon character. Macho makes the mistake of trying to include Art by talking about their size and weight and comparing it to football players, so he hyper focuses on that for the rest of the evening. “How much does this guy weigh?” is something he asks dozens of times throughout the rest of the PPV and became his catchphrase.

Bam Bam stretches Razor out across his back with a torture rack and Art earnestly asks Gorilla if Razor is dead. Ramon doesn’t submit and eventually fights out and uses a back suplex to get back in the match.

Razor builds some momentum with a big bodyslam and tries for the back suplex off the ropes but Bigelow blocks that and after a slam, goes for a moonsault. It backfires and Razor brings him down off the top rope with a powerbomb and a schoolboy roll up and Razor Ramon advances to the semi-finals. Decent match.

Backstage, Todd Pettengill interviews our next match which is IRS vs. Mabel. IRS rants that he’s going to beat Mabel but trips over his words and gets flustered. Mabel spells his name and tells IRS that he will NEVER pin his shoulders to the mat. Yeah we’ll see.

King of the Ring Quarter Final match

Mabel (w/Oscar) vs. Irwin R. Schyster

Art immediately can’t believe IRS is a wrestler because he “looks like a business man”. Irwin rants at the fans about how they need to pay their taxes until finally Oscar (in a lovely white suit) raps Mabel to the ring. Art’s input is that Mabel is so much bigger than IRS, this isn’t a fair fight. Gorilla made me laugh joining in with the crowd during Oscar’s rap.

The 500lbs pretty easily slams IRS around and uses an arm-wringer into a sort of Northern Lights suplex. It’s wild seeing the future Viscera show off some real wrestling ability. IRS finally gets a breather by avoiding a corner charge and sending Mabel out of the ring with a running knee to the back.

He hits the Write Off clothesline but doesn’t go for the pin and keeps the pressure on, chipping away at the big man with elbows and kicks.

Mabel continues to actually wrestle with a small package which, given his size and weight, could have ended this for real if he just held on tight but IRS kicks out and goes into a sleeper hold.

Mabel comes back with a slam and climbs to the middle rope, planning to jump on IRS but the tax man shakes the ropes and he tumbles to the mat. IRS dives into a cover and grabs the ropes for leverage. Mabel’s bump off the ropes looked very fake, and the cover and grabbing the ropes made no sense as given the angle it shouldn’t have provided any extra leverage but it’s enough to beat Mabel. Not a good match but not as bad as you’d expect. The finish was rubbish though and ruined it.

There’s a Coliseum home video exclusive of Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji giving a pep talk to Crush and Yokozuna which I’d imagine on the live broadcast is covering up a bunch of commercials for things that don’t exist anymore.

King of the Ring Quarter Final match

Owen Hart vs. Tatanka

Owen Hart has some nice all pink ring gear which is a nice nod as when The Harts all teamed up at Survivor Series, Bret used all pink to denote himself as the leader of the team. Tatanka jumps Owen the second he gets in the ring and bounces him around from corner to corner and with a background and a suplex, going for pins and trying to end this quickly. Owen recovers with a rake to the eyes and slows things down with a sleeper hold. Art keeps asking how much Tatanka weighs. The ring announcer JUST told you mate.

The match continues like that with them going back and forth. It tumbles to the outside and Owen runs Tatanka into the ring post and tries to get a count out victory. Here, Gorilla mentions an altercation backstage and there’s a double feature of IRS and Razor - who will now meet in the semi finals - trying to fight and being held apart. The double feature was a brand new addition to WWF TV.

Back in the ring, Owen puts down Tatanka with a missile dropkick and locks in a deep sleeper hold. Art asks Gorilla a question directly (“Is Tatanka able to get any air here?”) and Monsoon just pretends he can’t hear him and moves on. Poor Art.

Tatanka starts to fight back and war-dance around the ring, dropping Owen with chops. It’s his version of Hulking up and so no-sells all of Owen’s attempts to stop it. Tatanka is on a roll and a kick to the face and a DDT gets him a nearfall. Owen barely kicks out. He follows with his big jumping chop to the head off the top rope but Owen kicks out of that too. Tatanka hits a running powerslam and looks like he has this match won. He goes for a sunset flip but Owen sits down, hooks the legs and steals the victory with a roll up of his own. Tatanka isn’t undefeated anymore but this is still a very rare clean pinfall loss for the Native American. Owen moves on to the semi finals with a well-timed counter.

My boy Todd interviews Intercontinental Champion Diesel and his buddy Shawn Michaels and after showing a replay of Diesel’s Jackknife powerbomb on Raw a couple of weeks ago, tells them that Bret has called that move one of the most painful he’s ever absorbed. Diesel promises him that he’s getting another one tonight and Diesel WILL become a double champion. Todd asks if they’re concerned about which family member Bret will have in his corner tonight - Shawn says his whole family are losers so it doesn’t matter anyway. Except Owen obviously, he’s not a loser.

King of the Ring Quarter Final match

Jeff Jarrett vs. The 1-2-3 Kid

This match starts lightning fast. Art continually points out how small both men are compared to people we’ve seen earlier. Deep arm drags and take downs as they chain wrestle and it’s good stuff. The Kid scores with some big kicks, each for a near fall until Jeff slows things down with a chop block and starts to soften up the knee for his Figure Four. The Kid kicks out of that and heads to the top rope but misses his big flipping senton so Jeff goes back to the legs until the 1-2-3 Kid is able to kick out of that again and head back up. Jeff stops him and tries for a superplex but it’s countered and followed with a top rope crossbody. It’s just starting to get really good when the 1-2-3 Kid counters another Figure Four attempt into a small package and the four match in a row ends with a roll up. The 1-2-3 Kid advances in a good match which was too short to be special, but the real story is sore loser Jarrett.

Jeff attacks the 1-2-3 Kid and gives him not one, not two but three piledrivers and a pair of diving punches off the top rope as referees struggle to end the beating.

The 1-2-3 Kid is helped from the ring and carried to the back as Macho and Gorilla speculate that he may not be able to compete for the rest of the night, despite advancing in the tournament.

At ringside, the commentators talk about the updated bracket, backs turned to poor Art who they are now actively ignoring. Commentary is a mess tonight which brings me neatly to something I want to talk about; Where oh where is Vince McMahon tonight?

I mentioned previously that 1994 was the year of the big steroid trial, and that is the answer. Vince McMahon was indicted by the US Federal Governement on charges of distributing steroids to his wrestlers, and for encouraging a locker room where wrestlers felt they had to abuse steroids in order to be successful in their employment. It all kicked off at the end of 1992 and the scrutiny led to many of the WWF’s biggest stars (who just so happened to be huge and enormously muscular) leaving the company for WCW, who didn’t test for steroids. It sped up the fall in wrestling’s popularity and strained the relationship Vince had with his talent, most notably his best friend Hulk Hogan who also left for WCW. During the trial, Vince had neck surgery - he’d needed it for a while and chose to have it in June 1994 because wearing a neckbrace to court made him look sympathetic to the jury. He was ultimately found not guilty and we’ll see him return to TV with a bit of fan fare when he was. Fans from the Attitude era will recall Vince McMahon talking about “defeating the federal government”? This court case is what he meant. During the trial, Hulk Hogan himself testified against Vince which created some sour grapes too as I’m sure you can imagine. I’ve written a separate article about the whole steroid trial mess which you can read here;

Vince McMahon and the Steroid Scandal

Todd is busy tonight, interviewing WWF Champion Bret Hart. Tonight’s mess of production errors continue as he asks for the replay of the Jackknife two weeks ago, they wait ages, then give up, then they do see it afterall. Bret is honest and says that he doesn’t know if he can kick out of that powerbomb, but Diesel has to hit him with it first and that’s a long way off. He says he’ll cut the big man down to size because he is the excellence of execution. Decent promo.

WWF Championship

Bret Hart © (w/Jim Neidhart) vs. Intercontinental Champion Diesel (w/Shawn Michaels)

You know Diesel’s big push is going to continue because he’s got a ton of pyro during his entrance now. Art asks three times who the guy with him is before Macho finally explains who Shawn Michaels is and how good he is. Gorilla speculates that Bret’s family member back up might be his dad Stu, given that this PPV is taking place on father’s day but as you can see above, it’s not. Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart held the WWF Tag Team Championships with Bret twice as The Hart Foundation and has a ton of his own demons - he was in and out of the company all throughout the late 80s and early 90s due to his drug abuse. Jim keeps Shawn and Diesel at bay so that Bret can give the title belt a big kiss before handing it over to the referee.

Diesel is much bigger and stronger and throws Bret around, pummelling him in the corner. Bret goes low with a kick to the legs and speeds up but runs right into a big elbow. He goes back to the legs but Diesel just pummels him with forearms and elbows. Bret avoids a corner charge and goes after the leg methodically, exactly as he said he would. He locks in a figure four but Diesel is so tall he has no problem reaching the ropes. It did the damage and Bret continues to hammer on his legs on the match while Macho and Gorilla, between ignoring Art, speculate that Shawn is staying away because The Anvil is out there watching him.

Diesel has his legs wrapped around the ring post and Shawn picks his spot, dropping the champion with a clothesline. Neidhart chases Michaels around the ring but that only distracts the referee so HBK can get in more cheap shots as he runs past. Diesel slows things down back in the ring with a bearhug but Bret breaks that by biting his nose! He dropkicks Diesel out of the ring but makes the mistake of diving out after him and misses - crashing to the concrete floor. That’s Diesel’s big moment and he hammers the Hitman in the ring with a sidewalk slam, backbreaker and then stretches him out across his knee. Diesel is in confident control of this very back and forth match now but Shawn still throws in cheap shots and right hands when he can.

Diesel just keeps slamming and then pinning Bret and Shawn sneakily exposes one of the turnbuckle bolts which Gorilla points out is how Diesel beat Razor for the Intercontinental title in the first place. Diesel throws Bret up over his shoulder with a torture rack but Bret wriggles out into a sleeper. The fans go NUTS for his comeback but Diesel slows him down by crashing him into the turnbuckles again. He throws Bret a little too enthusiastically and he collides with the referee, hurting his leg. Diesel tries to use the exposed metal bolt but Bret counters it and bangs Diesel’s head into it instead! Bret hammers him with punches and mounts him in the corner as Diesel stumbles around, bouncing off the ropes and being held up by them until he finally collapses. Good stuff. Bret goes into his usual finishing routine and sets up for the sharpshooter. Shawn and Neidhart jump on the apron and Bret loses his momentum. Diesel gets back in this with a big slam and wants the Jackknife but spends too long taunting and Bret takes him down by the legs into the Sharpshooter! Diesel is already in the ropes which breaks the hold. He crawls outside and with the referee distracted keeping an eye on him and Anvil, Michaels gets in the ring and hits Bret Hart in the back with the title belt! He’s out cold but kicks out when Diesel goes for the pin. The big man has this in the bag and drills Bret Hart with a monstrous Jackknife powerbomb but we’ll never know if Bret could have kicked out as Neidhart rushes the ring and clobbers Diesel, ending this match via disqualification. He leaves the ring immediately, heading to the back which is deeply suspicious as he leaves Bret to get beat up two on one by Shawn Michaels and Diesel. Macho questions his motives too, drawing our attention to Anvil’s odd behaviour at ringside - he never attacked Shawn, and he actually turned his back to let Diesel hit him from behind at one point. Bret Hart is still the WWF Champion but is left beaten by Diesel and Michaels as referees and officials do their best to end the attack. This was a good match, I really enjoyed this. The finish is rubbish BUT very much feels like part of a bigger story so that’s ok. Gorilla calls this “one of the most tremendous title defences in WWF history” which is a hilarious overexaggeration. Macho calls Bret the greatest champion of all time, which is less so.

Todd Pettengill interviews one half of tonight’s main event - Jerry “The King” Lawler. Todd asks King if he’s finally met someone with a bigger mouth than him. King lets that slide but says that this PPV is named after him and throws some age jokes at Art Donovan on commentary which I did enjoy. Piper is the pits and he’ll prove it tonight as the undisputed King of the WWF. Lawler laughs and taunts the sick kids who Piper has promised to donate his earnings to because he’s a pantomime villain.

King of the Ring Semi Final match

Razor Ramon vs. Irwin R. Schyster

IRS cuts a promo as he walks to the ring and calls Razor a “fool’s gold wearing tax cheating idiot”. Or he tries to but trips over his words and calls him a “fools gold tax cheating tax cheat idiot”. He’s having a bad night.

Razor jumps him on the outside and throws him into the ring steps, then into the ring, and then back out the ring on the other side all while peppering him with big right hands. He slams him into the ringsteps again on the other side too. Razor is determined. Razor goes for the Razor’s Edge early and I was sure it was too early and would be counted but he hits it and Razor Ramon moves to the finals of the King of the Ring AND gives us our first proper finish tonight (four roll ups and a disqualification up until now).

Now the big question - is the 1-2-3 Kid medically cleared and able to compete in his own semi-final?

Backstage, WWF Champion Bret Hart is running around looking for The Anvil. He wants to know why Neidhart got him intentionally disqualified to save his title and then walked out on him and left him to get beat up two on one. It’s a fair question isn’t it?

King of the Ring Semi Final match

Owen Hart vs. The 1-2-3 Kid

Owen enters first and looks really happy, assuming as most of us are that he’s about to get a bye to the finals of the King of the Ring. After a delay, the Kid does enter which is great because on paper this is one of the best matches the WWF was capable of providing in 1994. Owen drills him with a baseball slide and then a dive to the outside and thankfully, the 1-2-3 Kid doesn’t sell and they just go at 100mph. He fights back with his twisting moonsault but Owen kicks out and they move into rapid chain wrestling. The Kid hits a Northern lights suplex which scores three but Owen’s feet are in the ropes so the match continues. The kid dives up and over the ropes with some mounted punches back back in the ring, Owen responds with a German suplex. They go back to counter wrestling trading roll ups and near falls. He sends Owen into the ropes and goes for a hurricanrana but it is countered with a hard powerbomb and turned into a Sharpshooter. The 1-2-3 Kid taps out and Owen Hart advances to the finals. This was awesome, but it was only a few minutes long. I’d have loved to see these guys go another five minutes at least. It’s a shame that on Raw they give us 20 minute matches featuring Crush instead of 20 minute matches featuring these two.

In a Coliseum video exclusive, there’s an interview with Rowdy Roddy Piper. He seems in a really good mood, laughing about candy bars and forgetting what city the PPV is in. He mentions Jerry Lawler and his Roddy Piper impersonator on Raw and asks why he had to bring up the movie Hell comes to Frogtown - that’s his WORST movie, he wishes he’d made jokes about one of his good ones like They Live.

WWF Tag Team Championships

The Headshrinkers © (Samu and Fatu w/Afa and Lou Albano) vs. Yokozuna and Crush (w/Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette)

I bet you can all guess what Art was very keen to ask about Yokozuna the second he saw him? The answer is 568lbs.

Captain Lou has dressed up in Islander garb for tonight’s match which is nice to see - good bit of effort on his part. This match starts off with a fun bit of savage brawling - they all trade headbutts but, all being Islanders, all no-sell. Samu and Fatu are the ones with the actual hard-head gimmick though so do win even if it takes a double headbutt to put down Yokozuna. The match breaks down with the former WWF Champion and Samu as the legal men, Art whines that he can’t see the ring past Mr. Fuji’s flag which is a hilarious rib if they’ve done that on purpose. Yoko actually comes up on the losing end so tags out to Crush and he and Fatu go at it. The Tag Team Champions come out on top of that too and he spikes Crush with a piledriver and a diving headbutt. Crush kicks out.

Fuji hits Fatu in the back with his flag pole as he runs the ropes and that allows Crush to take control of the match with a clothesline and piledriver of his own. Yoko tags in and drops his massive leg across Fatu’s head and Art winces. He seems really taken in by the enormous size of the “Japanese” superstar. The challengers tag in and out, slamming and working over Fatu with sleeper holds. Tag team matches are the ideal format for a guy like Yoko who is really fluid in his movements considering his size and definitely still has a lot to offer, but who struggles in longer matches due to his cardio. Fatu avoids a big leg drop from Yoko and tags out and Samu runs through Crush and Yoko with chops and slams. The Headshrinkers knock Yokozuna out of the ring with a double superkick leaving Samu and Crush as the legal men in the ring. Crush takes control and after a big superplex, Lex Lugar makes his way to ringside. Crush cost Lex his spot in the King of the Ring tournament. Gorilla and Macho Man spend several minutes talking about who Lex is and why he’s here only for Art to then ask who he is. His presence distracts Crush and a big headbutt from Fatu gives The Headshrinkers the victory. Crush is furious and goes right out to attack Lex, running him into the ringsteps and throwing him into the ring. Samu and Fatu join in the fight and send the evil Islanders running so Lex can celebrate in his lovely America onesie with The Headshrinkers (he does at least pull down the straps so it looks like long tights rather than dungarees)

Owen Hart makes his final comments before the King of the Ring final - Bret Hart might have won last year but tonight he looked like a loser. Owen promises to win the King of the Ring and sarcastically wishes his dad a happy father’s day. Owen is the black sheep y’see.

King of the Ring Final match

Razor Ramon vs. Owen Hart

Razor rocks Owen with a big right hand and as The Rocket tries to pick up the speed, Razor’s size makes the difference and he continues to rock Owen with punches to stop him from getting any momentum. Owen does finally take Razor down to the mat but as he goes for a roll up, Razor reverses that into a backslide of his own. Neither man shows any sign of being tired from their previous two matches tonight. Ramon takes Owen over with a headlock and puts him down with a big shoulder block but runs into a spinning heel kick. I feel a bit sorry for Art Donovan as by this point in the night, he’d finally started to pick up on what was going on and was cheering on both Razor and Owen in his own way. He sounds continually so impressed by not just the physicality in the ring but by how athletic they all are. We’re basically listening to an old man discover how awesome pro-wrestling is in real time but he is clueless and has nothing to offer so Gorilla and Macho are right to ignore him. It’s not his fault he was booked for this gig, it’s Vince’s.

They go back and forth but every time one of them goes for a big move, the other counters. Razor’s powerslam is counted with a side russian leg sweep. Owen goes to the top rope but is stopped and brought down with the big back suplex. He signals for the Razor’s Edge and the fans go nuts, but Owen backdrops Razor up and over the top rope and The Bad Guy comes up selling his knee. Owen distracts the referee and to everyone’s shock Jim Neidhart runs down and attacks Razor with a clothesline and then running him into the ring post. Back in the ring, Owen finishes him with a top rope elbow drop and Owen Hart wins the 1994 King of the Ring tournament!

Owen is overjoyed, screaming “I did it!” while pyro fires from overhead. Macho Man tries to connect the dots - did Neidhart keep the title on Bret so that Owen could then face his brother? They aren’t done and Owen and Jim flatten Razor with the old Hart Attack tag team manoeuvre. The fans chant “we want Bret” but the Hitman is nowhere to be found. They’re forced out of the ring by referees and Owen heads up to the top of the ramp for his coronation ceremony. Backstage, Ray Reugeau asks Bret for his comments on what we just saw but the Hitman has nothing to say and needs to process it. Art asks Macho and Gorilla if they used to act like that when they were wrestlers and they completely ignore him and continue their own conversation.

Owen is crowned the King by Todd Pettengill and President Jack Tunney in an extravagant ceremony with a throne, crown, robe and sceptre. It goes a lot better than Bret’s last year. Owen rants at all the “dumb people” that he did what he said he would do and everyone needs to respect The King. Owen doesn’t want Jack Tunney to put the crown on him, he wants “the only person in his family he can trust”, Jim Neidhart, to do the honours. Owen’s first proclamation is that from now on he is to be known as Owen Hart - the King of Harts. That’s a better nickname than The Rocket so I’m on board.

I’ve mentioned the WWF’s New Generation (or New Gen) a couple of times since I started this journey in 1993 but this month is the official birth of the term. Vince had phased out people like Macho Man, which I’ve also mentioned, in favour of younger talent and fresh faces. He worked to make WCW stars like Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair look like old men and for his WWF Superstars to look like the wave of the future. He wasn’t wrong, but in 1994 most fans still thought of those older wrestlers, including Macho Man, as the real stars. It looks especially hypocritical to launch the New Generation branding on this show where Jerry Lawler and Roddy Piper, both stars from the 80s, are in the main event. Would have worked better at Wrestlemania X with Bret’s big title win, or by putting Bret vs. Diesel on last tonight. Anyway, here’s the first New Generation commercial;

New Generation

Before the main event, there’s thankfully a montage of clips and moments which brought us to this point which saves me having to try and recap it again. You can also get a good look at the Roddy Piper impersonator we met on Raw.

Build up to Piper vs. Lawler

Jerry “The King” Lawler vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper

Lawler comes to the ring and insults the crowd, making sure everyone is desperate to see him get his ass kicked - he is a good heel. Roddy enters along with the skinny Kid from Raw and Macho thankfully explains the situation - Piper is smart enough to know this kid is a fan of his, Lawler put him up to helping him mock him and its not the kid’s fault. That’ll do for me. They keep talking about him like he’s a child but he looks about 25. Piper breaks out his classic “I’m here to kick ass and chew bubblegum…” line before the match and when he disrobes, he looks in great shape.

He has abs! It’s a bit silly that Gorilla keeps mentioning the New Generation as these two men in their 40s main event the PPV. This was the first time in WWF history that the main event of a show didn’t feature anyone under the age of 40 in fact.

Piper throws his kilt into King’s face and goes at him like a wild dog, chasing the referee away for trying to stop him. Lawler begs for mercy but gets one and Roddy hits him with a punch which sends King basically flipping backwards. He bails out of the ring and tries to leave so Roddy goes and gets him and brings him back to ringside, holding Jerry for “the Kid” to hit in the face.

For the first few minutes, Lawler can’t get in any offence and is punched outside the ring and in. Finally, he grabs the kid and that works as while Piper is more worried about protecting the kid than himself, Lawler is able to stomp away on Hot Rod and finally assume control of the match. He hammers on him with punches and puts him down with a piledriver but King takes ages to cover and so Piper kicks out.

Roddy gets back on his feet and beckons for Lawler to keep bringing it so he does. A string of punches put him down but he refuses to say die and spits in Jerry’s face. They trade punches and a thumb to the eye and a pair of bulldog headlocks get Piper back into the match. He goes for a third and is shoved off, crashing into the referee and knocking him down. Lawler reaches into his tights and comes out with a balled fist. He obviously has nothing but the pantomime is that he had some foreign object in his hand. He knocks out Piper covers with his feet on the ropes for good measure so the kid breaks up the pin. King is distracted, Piper capitalises with a roll up and wins the match. He’s not sticking around so it’s fair enough that they protected King during the finish because he is, but this was a lame main event with a rubbish finish.

Is this a good show? Vince McMahon called in during it to give the production staff his opinion “it’s the drizzling shits”. I think that’s harsh as there were some highlights but also lots of lowlights. He probably meant Art Donovan’s commentary. Piper and King finishing the night with an “old man brawling” match that the fans weren’t that into was a major mistake but it is what it is.

Monday Night Raw - June 20th, 1994

Mentioned at the King of the Ring why Vince is off commentary at the moment but the big commentary changes continue tonight as this Raw marks the debut of the Spanish announce team and they’re introduced by Gorilla Monsoon alongside himself and Macho Man. That’s quite cool.

In the opening match, Diesel defends the Intercontinental Championship against Mark Thomas. I wouldn’t have thought this is a title match but Wikipedia tells me I’m wrong. Diesel looks SO much better with his hair grown out of that mullet and some facial hair. Macho and Gorilla spend this match discussing whether Bret Hart could have kicked out of the Jackknife powerbomb or not last night at the King of the Ring. Diesel wins this with the Jackknife, of course.
In the King of the Ring Report, Todd calls every match the greatest ever and runs down the results focusing specifically on Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart’s actions and Owen Hart being the new King of Harts and King of the Ring.
The 1-2-3 Kid takes on Nikolai Volkoff who enters to the Million Dollar Man’s theme with Ted Dibiase as his corner man. Macho and Gorilla talk about the revelation on the previous weekend’s Superstars that Ted Dibiase now owns The Undertaker. More on that in the near future I’m sure. Gorilla says that whoever wins this match will get a shot at Bret Hart’s WWF Championship in the near future. That’s odd. What’s even more odd is that the storyline was supposed to be Nikolai as the unwilling agent of heel Ted Dibiase but he keeps slamming the Kid and breaking his own pin to keep the punishment going with a smile on his face. He laughs at the 1-2-3 Kid when he appears to hurt his own knee. He seems pretty happy to be a bad guy. Macho speculates that the greed and money has gotten to him. The Kid suckers Volkoff in with a small package to win the match and earn a shot at the WWF title and sore loser Volkoff attacks him from behind and beats him up as the Million Dollar Man cheers him on. Virgil of all people runs down to make the save and fights off Volkoff and threatens former owner Dibiase. He spends too long thinking about it and gets attacked and beaten up by Nikolai too. The big Russian has fully embraced his role as heel for hire. Lex Lugar runs down to rescue Virgil and the Kid and Nokolai and Dibiase quickly bail out when they see Lex coming.

The near 600lbs Yokozuna faces Nick Burburry. I don’t remember seeing this guy before. Yoko slaps him in the face which he sells like getting shot. He slaps him around and finishes him with an almighty leg drop and a disrespectful one hand on the face pin. Gorilla and Macho spend the match discussing Yokozuna having “gotten rid of Earthquake” because he’s now gone, and how Earthquake’s old tag team partner Typhoon might want revenge. After the match as Yoko is leaving he runs into Typhoon on the entrance ramp as he enters for his own match and they have a little shoving match. Typhoon’s opponent is the Black Phantom. So with Earthquake bound for WCW, Typhoon has the good luck of being able to step up and take his former partner’s push and feud with Yoko. That’s fair enough. He finishes off the Phantom with a slam and looks strong.

In The King’s Court, Jerry Lawler is wearing sunglasses. Gorilla and Macho have fun mocking him for losing to Roddy Piper and suggesting the shades are to hide his black eyes. King blames the loss on Piper’s daughter being at ringside in a skirt and how she was so ugly, he was distracted. His guest tonight is Duke “The Dumpster” Droese. Four weeks ago on Superstars he interviewed the newcomer and after insulting the garbage man with a peg on his nose, had trash dumped on his head. King won’t let Duke in the ring because he stinks and tells him to grab a mic and talk to him from the floor. King requests the footage be played of their last interview apparently unaware that it was just shown while he was talking. Duke gets sick of listening to Lawler’s insults so walks out on him. King is offended and runs after the garbage man, hitting him from behind and then laying into him with his own trash can. He beats down Duke with the metal trash can in the entrance way and when the show returns from commercial, they’re both gone.

Jim Cornette gives a big introduction to The Heavenly Bodies - Del Ray and Prichard battle Russ Greenberg and Jim Powers. They’re both big muscular dudes so it’s amazing that Vince hasn’t signed these two to be more than jobbers. Macho gives a lot of praise to the Tag Team Champions The Headshrinkers and calls them his favourite tag team. Jim Cornette joins commentary for this match and says that The Headshrinkers are being forced to defend against the Bodies. Macho finds it hard to believe that they had to be forced. The Heavenly Bodies win this match as Jim Cornette talks relentlessly for 6 minutes without pausing for a breath. He’s so shrill.
After a commercial break, Gorilla and Macho Man apologises to the fans at home on behalf of management for Jerry Lawler’s actions and promises that we will never, ever see that kind of violence on WWF TV ever again.
The first commercial for this year’s Summerslam is pretty funny. You might recognise the balding sunbather who gets squashed as the guy from the first UNBELIEVABLE commercial

Summerslam 1994 commercial

Raw ends with a little Million Dollar Man promo - Ted says he has had his eye on Lex Lugar for a long time and asks us to imagine how great he could be with millions of dollars behind him. Everybody’s got a price and his next target for purchase looks like Lex Lugar.

Monday Night Raw - June 27th, 1994

At the start of Raw, Duke “The Dumpster” Droese says that he doesn’t know what the WWF management has in store for Lawler but he plans on getting even with him. Elsewhere, Jerry Lawler is supposed to give a forced apology but instead he rants about how Droese got what he deserved. He says he’d rather be fined or suspended than have to make a public apology but calms down and forces himself to say it - someone off camera isn’t convinced with his lack of conviction and insists on him doing it again, which he does but also doesn’t seem like he means.

In the arena, the show kicks off with the 500lbs Mabel vs. the 350lbs Bam Bam Bigelow. This was the big match they promoted last week. Bam Bam has a nice tan, I wonder if he had some days off in the sun. They brawl to the outside and Luna gets squashed in the melee. Bam Bam is too busy checking on her to notice he’s being counted out. Mabel wins by count out and Bam Bam seems less happy about that than about Luna’s well being. Mabel and Oscar leave and Luna tries to calm down her man. As he fumes in the ring, Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase heads down to the ring. He has a word with Bam Bam and Luna off mic. While that’s going on, Gorilla shows us footage from Superstars two weeks ago when Ted Dibiase brought back The Undertaker. It certainly looks and sounds like The Undertaker, but if you’re paying attention he very much looks like he’s lip syncing to a recording. Interesting. The past weekend he made his in-ring return with Dibiase announced as “The Owner” of the Undertaker and the Deadman squashed a jobber, led by cold hard cash just like Bearer used to do with the urn.

IRS faces the blonde mulleted Jeff Myers and beats the hell out of him, taking his time with suplexes and an abdominal stretch before finishing him off with The Penalry, which is the STF for an easy submission victory.
This week’s guest on the King’s Court is Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart. He gives Jim all the credit for being the leader of The Hart Foundation and Anvil enters to Bret’s old theme, which was actually the Hart Foundation’s music. King asks him about how hard it was to carry Bret for all those years. After insulting Bret and calling him a loser who begged for his help to keep the WWF title brings out the best Hart, the King of Harts Owen Hart. Owen enters wearing his crown and cape and carrying his sceptre. He looks so regal, or he would if it didn’t all look so cheap and 1994. Owen reminds us that he’s now the King of Harts and says Bret is shaking in his boots, terrified of his little brother. He says that all he needs is one shot and he’ll be the new WWF Champion.

WWF Tag Team Champions The Headshrinkers take on The Executioners. Samu and Fatu take their time, breaking their own pins after big headbutts and absolutely demolishing the two masked jobbers.
Backstage in the locker room, the cameras try to find out what’s going on in Ted Dibiase’s locker room. He’s having a private chat with Bam Bam Bigelow, Luna and Nikolai Volkoff. Ted sees the camera coming and chases them off wanting to keep things secret. What is Dibiase up to?
Led to the ring by Harvey Whippleman, “martial artist” Kwang takes on Mike Moraldo. Kwang wins with a big kick. Thrilling.
In the main event, Lex Lugar faces Mike Bell. Gorilla is full of praise for Lex’s body and physique which feels a bit weird. Lex is still feuding with Crush who he cost the Tag Team titles at the King of the Ring, but Ted Dibiase seems to have taken an interest in purchasing Lex’s services. Ted does come out to get a closer look but leaves without incident and Lex picks up an easy win with the torture rack submission. Gorilla and Macho Man are very forceful in their opinion that Lugar will never, ever sell out to the Million Dollar Man.

At the end of the Raw, Ted Dibiase has some words from backstage. He bought Nikolai Volkoff, he bought Bam Bam Bigelow, he brought back The Undertaker under his ownership and promises that next he’s going to buy Lex Lugar because EVERYBODY’s got a price, even Made in the USA Lugar.