Monday Night Raw - December 16th 1996

• Raw opens up with pyro and the entrance of Bret Hart for an in-ring interview with Jim Ross. Bret is pissed. He lost his WWF Championship match last night and he says he doesn’t want to make excuses but its definitely not his fault that he didn’t win his 4th title. He says things are different since he returned and no one can tell who their friends or enemies are and no one knows what the rules are. In the World Wrestling Federation right now there ARE no rules. He name drops Shawn Michaels, Stone Cold and Sycho Sid when saying he’s fine with there being no rules. Bret in particular insults Michaels calling him “a little prissy” and says he has a lack of integrity because he got involved last night. He finishes by declaring he will be in the Royal Rumble match and then takes a seat on commentary promising to “stay nice and calm and uninvolved, just like Shawn Michaels did last night”. 

• The opening match is “a special tough man match” as announced by ring announcer Howard Finkle - Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Vader. Vince makes excuses to Bret Hart and says it wasn’t totally Shawn Michaels’ fault but Bret isn’t listening to reason and continues to blame HBK (and Austin) for the loss. There’s more big Royal Rumble announcements already; Stone Cold will also be in the Rumble match AND Vader will go one on one with The Undertaker at the PPV. Slow down lads we’re only 8 minutes into the show! The crowd cheers for Austin as he beats up Vader and goes NUTS when he puts him down with the Thez press and right hands and then knocks him out of the ring. The crowd are really into watching Austin brawl and it's understandable because he’s really good at it. They fight into the crowd and Vader uses a steel chair as JR explains that the referee is going to let this one go because it's “a tough man match” which seems to be an official match type. Bret watches intently as Vader sets up the Vader Bomb but Austin pops up and uses a big low blow to even the odds and hammers the big man right punches and clubs. This is really good, just like his match with Mankind. Bret Hart picks his spot and puts Stone Cold down with a chop block and locks him in the Sharpshooter! That is too much for the referee who rings the bell. Stone Cold wins via disqualification but doesn’t look like a winner as referees struggle to break the hold. Vader attacks Bret for costing him the match and the two of them have a furious brawl as referees try to split them up! This is chaotic. Bret goes after Austin again as the referees lead Vader away from the ring and puts him in the Sharpshooter a second time! Bret Hart has snapped and clearly meant his “no more Mr. Nice Guy” speech at the start of the show. It takes about 10 referees and officials to get Bret to finally release the hold.

• “Razor Ramon” and “Diesel” take on The Godwins. Vince and JR pick apart the fakes’ performance since coming to the WWF and seem much friendlier again this week. You’ll be pleased to know these two don’t have much longer to go on TV but Bret Hart will face “Razor Ramon” next week. A Powerbomb from “Diesel” gives him and “Razor” the win. 
• WWF Champion Sycho Sid is interviewed backstage. In the past 30 days he has defeated both Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart with his powerbomb. He’s awesome. They ask how he feels about going into Shawn Michaels’ home town at the Royal Rumble for his next defense. He’s not concerned and promises another dominant victory for the Master and Ruler of the world. Elsewhere, Shawn Michaels has an interview of his own. He seems very irritable and a little distracted. He responds to Sid’s comments and mentions the “70,000 screaming Texans” in his hometown, cheering him on to get revenge for Jose Lothario. He also mentions Bret Hart’s comments from the start of the show and basically calls him jealous of both his youth and skill. 

• In the ring, Doug Furnas and Phil Lafon take on TL Hopper and a jobber whose name I didn’t catch. The two newcomers fly around the ring with dropkicks and a variety of suplexes and it's another impressive victory for Furnas and Lafon. 
• In the ring, there’s the finals of the Milton Bradley Karate Fighters Tournament. I haven’t mentioned it MUCH but it has been on every single show for the past couple of months. It’s Jerry Lawler (seconded by Intercontinental Champion HHH) vs. Sable (with Marc Mero supporting her) They “battle” in the middle of the ring being overseen by Jim Ross and it’s Sable who picks up the win! This was just a daft bit of fun really BUT I do appreciate them putting more effort into their brand partnership and adding Mero and Helmsley to it to get a bit of real storyline development out of it. Lawler is a sore loser and demands a rematch, shoving Mero but it’s a setup so that he and Hunter can jump the Wildman and beat him down two on one as Sable helplessly watches. Goldust of all people runs down to make the save, attacking Helmsley and then he and Mero chase him through the crowd. Lawler grabs the mic and barks “what’s the big idea, Freak?!” at Goldust. He says he has no beef with him but what is his problem with Hunter Hearst Helmsley? All he did was hit on Marlena! He calls HHH a real man and with a lot of awkward build up Jerry asks if Goldust really is “queer”. Goldust says no and then punches Jerry right in the face. That’s his official babyface turn but did he turn face by attacking HHH and Lawler, or did he turn face by confirming in the notoriously homophobic 90s that he is not gay? I’ll leave it up to all of you to decide how much benefit of the doubt to give them.

• In the main event it’s “brother” vs. “brother” with Billy Gunn vs. Bart Gunn. Billy has said on TV that they are NOT really brothers but Jim Ross sticks to the gimmick and asks us to imagine that these two men’s parents thing watching them fight. I’d imagine their parents have never met. It’s quite funny seeing them both come out one after another to the same theme song. They go back and forth for a few minutes but the finish comes out of nowhere as Bart rocks Billy who goes down hard and stops moving. His neck is twisted uncomfortably to the side and the referee stops the match as everyone including Bart worries about Billy’s well being. Their wives get into the ring and Billy’s wife blames Bart for what happened. That’s a bit hilarious given that they did that whole storyline where he had a thing going on with Sunny only a couple of months ago. Bart cries that he didn’t mean to hurt his brother and is the most distraught of everyone. A fan in the front row loudly yells “where’s The Undertaker?” which made me laugh. This lasts for a lot longer than you’d expect and Billy is eventually wrapped up in a neck brace, strapped to a board and carried out of the ring by medical personnel leaving his fate uncertain as Raw ends. 

Monday Night Raw - December 23rd 1996

• Raw kicks off with an Intercontinental Championship match between Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Marc Mero. Goldust comes out and he and Marlena take a seat in the crowd to watch this match as he will face the winner for the title at the Royal Rumble. After his issues with Goldust last week, Jerry Lawler gets up and leaves fearing he might get attacked again I guess. Triple H slowly works over Mero as Sable cheers on her man; it’s not fancy but it is “fundamentally sound” as Jim Ross would say. Mero’s comeback is short lived and he misses a moonsault and appears to hurt his leg leaving him as easy pickings for a Pedigree and Hunter retains the title and immediately turns his attention to Goldust and the Royal Rumble. He grabs a mic and tells Goldust that at the Royal Rumble he’ll show Goldust how to be a real man and then he’ll show Marlena what it’s like to BE with a real man. That sets Goldust off and he gets up and charges down to the ring so the champion runs. So much for being a real man. 

• After a recap of the goings on between the Gunn brothers last week we get a medical update on Billy who has apparently suffered partial paralysis and lost the use of his legs. That is VERY dark.
• Sunny comes down to ringside dressed as Santa’s little helper and puts a big smile on Vince’s face by flirting with him. She joins commentary for the next match which is Rocky Maivia vs. Salvatore Sincere. Sunny spends the match thirsting over Rocky again. Girl, calm down. There is a story here where Jim Cornette has been trying to sign Rocky but the rookie isn’t interested so Sunny wants to try her hand at becoming his manager. Rocky wins with the Shoulder Breaker as Sunny drools and talks about how she wants Rocky to win the Royal Rumble so she can manage him in the main event of Wrestlemania. 

• Vince McMahon interviews WWF Champion Sycho Sid in the ring with his Royal Rumble challenger Shawn Michaels watching from backstage. In a cool touch, Sid’s theme song keeps playing softly in the background while Vince and Sid speak. Vince lists all of the top guys in the WWF and how they’re all gunning for his title. Sid laughs like a maniac and says that he’s beaten the two best technical wrestlers in the world because no one can win his game. Where I walk, the ground shakes! Sid is awesome. 

• I mentioned last month that Marty Jannetty was gone from the WWF but it seems that I spoke too soon as he’s back here, teaming with Leif Cassidy as the New Rockers. I can only assume this match was taped before his injury at Survivor Series and departure. Their opponents are two masked men from AAA to promote the WWF’s partnership with the company and their appearance in the Royal Rumble match. The AAA team pick up the win and Jim Ross interviews the legendary Mil Mascaras who will also be in the Royal Rumble match representing AAA. 

• The Honky Tonk Man is back in the WWF. The “greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time” joins commentary for the main event which is Bret Hart vs. “Razor Ramon”. Honky is back in the WWF because he refused to lose matches in WCW so was fired and couldn’t get work elsewhere. Ironically it was Marc Mero who he refused to lose to and he’s in the WWF now too. Honky spends the match talking about why he’s back; he’s looking for someone to carry his torch so he can manage them to greatness. Good luck. Bret is far more aggressive in this match than we’re used to as the Stone Cold feud and, in his mind, being screwed out of the title repeatedly as made him angry and perhaps a little bitter. It’s a pretty much nothing match which Bret wins easily with the Sharpshooter. Rick Bognor is no Scott Hall. 

• At the conclusion of the show Shawn Michaels gives us his thoughts on the show and on Bret Hart’s victory. Shawn seems annoyed and distant just like last week; he’s got a real attitude and Vince keeps setting him up for things to talk about and Shawn keeps rolling his eyes with a sarcastic “ok yeah and?”. It got pretty awkward and I’m not sure if this was an intentional character change or if this is a sign of Shawn’s real life mentality. Shawn does at least pull it back at the end and says Bret whines and complains but if he loses it’s like a man and if he wins it’s like a man. 

Monday Night Raw - December 30th 1996

• Raw kicks off with a video promoting a face to face verbal confrontation between Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels. Both men are beloved but not by each other! I’ll talk about that segment later but of note, Shawn Michaels refers to himself as the WWF’s “favourite degenerate”
• In the opening match we have an unlikely tag team of Stone Cold Steve Austin and Faarooq vs.The Real Double J Jesse Jammes and Savio Vega. All four of these men are in the Royal Rumble match hence the reason for this. On WWF Superstars Austin won a two on one handicap match against two jobbers and then after the match, attacked them backstage with a steel chair and Pillman’d both their ankles; quite the one night push. Stone Cold attacks Double J during his entrance and furiously beats him up until he’s rescued by Savio to start the match properly. Austin is brutal and appears to injure Jesse Jammes so Bret Hart rushes to ringside to check on him and to offer to take his place! Bret Hart subs in and in jeans and boots teams up with Savio purely so that he can get his hands on Austin! Bret tagging in makes all the difference and he motors through Faarooq with his trademark finishing sequence and sets up the Sharpshooter but Crush runs in to attack him and cause the disqualification. Stone Cold and the Nation of Domination beat down Bret and Savio with a big numbers advantage until Ahmed Johnson armed with a 2x4 runs down and clears them all out of the ring. He grabs a mic and barks at Faarooq that they don’t need to wait until the Royal Rumble and can fight tonight, followed by leading the crowd in a “You’re going down!” chant. Another fun chaotic opening to Raw which this era has become good at

• Intercontinental Champion Hunter Hearst Helmsley faces Flash Funk in a non-title match. Goldust and Marlena come out to watch this match from the crowd again ahead of his IC title match at the Royal Rumble. Goldust also has a match tonight later against Jerry Lawler after their fall out last week. This match goes back and forth for a while until Lawler jumps up and grabs a mic, telling Goldust to watch a real man at work and accuses him of trying to distract HHH. Helmsley uses the IC title belt as a weapon to beat Flash as Goldust comes down to confront Lawler who backs up the ramp and distracts Goldust to be jumped from behind by Hunter. Flash Funk stops that from happening and takes him back to the ring, beating him up a little for the belt shot and finishing him off with his awesome looking 450 splash off the top rope. 

• In the ring, Jim Ross moderates a face to face confrontation between Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels. Michaels sarcastically says he is unworthy of going first and begs him to start with the almighty Hitman. Bret keeps things professional and storyline based to begin with and basically tells him he needs to apologise for costing him the title at In Your House. He quickly makes it personal and brings up Michaels’ appearance in Playgirl and gets quite homophobic about how girls don’t guy it, only men do. He says Michaels dances around and only appeals to 14 year old girls and not real men. HBK fires back and says that he wants to talk about Bret claming to be a role model - he’s seen him on the road and KNOWS he’s no role model. That’s a thinly veiled reference to the Hitman cheating on his wife, which was true but is not cool to have brought up on TV. Bret has a fake little smirk plastered on his face; these two were out there hurting each other’s feelings for real with Vince McMahon encouraging it both on screen and off. They’re interrupted by WWF Champion Sycho Sid who says that what he wants is some real competition. There’s a familiar Gong and The Undertaker makes his way slowly to the ring. He’s attacked from behind by Vader who is fought off. Sid and Undertaker get in each other’s faces but don’t come to blows and Undertaker returns to Vader and the pair of them fight to the back with referees trying to keep them apart. In the ring, Michaels hits Bret from behind and then vaults over the top rope onto Sid! They start fighting in the entrance way as referees struggle to get THEM apart now too. This was another wild segment with Bret and Shawn’s real life dislike of each other playing out for us all to see. 

• In the main event, Jerry “The King” Lawler takes on Goldust. Honky Tonk Man and HHH join Vince on commentary for this one. Hunter distracts Goldust so that Lawler can attack him from behind and control the early stages of the match. After a few minutes he adds to the distraction by abducting Marlena from ringside but is stopped by Marc Mero! Goldust charges HHH who side steps him and sends him crashing into Mero who was holding Marlena, taking them both out. The champion attacks Goldust (which gives him the victory via disqualification) but the real story is that Marlena is hurt and Helmsley is beating the hell out of both Goldust and Mero at the top of the entrance ramp. When the bell rang I assumed Goldust had won via disqualification but Vince says that in fact it was Lawler picking up the win via count out so I guess the referee in the ring didn’t see the attack.