Rebellion 2002 - Manchester Evening News Arena, Manchester England, October 26th 2002

This is the final Rebellion PPV. I liked these UK only PPVs as they’re just fun house shows - a nice snapshot of the state of the company at the time - and an easy watch. This one is the first ever Smackdown exclusive PPV, much like how Insurrextion in May was Raw only.

Smackdown General Manager Stephanie McMahon opens the show. She breaks the sad news that the Undertaker is not here tonight. She does have some good news and that the main event handicap match for the WWE Championship match as advertised will still happen but now it’ll be Edge challenging for the title. If he pins either Lesnar or Paul Heyman he will be the new WWE Champion. She has more good news and it's that she’s borrowed a Raw superstar in order to make this show as good as possible - it’s Booker T! He gets a very warm welcome from the UK fans and we’re off and running.

Booker T vs. Matt Hardy

As Matt makes his entrance, he says Smackdown doesn’t need a “Raw sucker” and he’s going to give all of his fans in England some European Mattitude. Alright then. 

They start with a long feeling out process, teasing a test of strength but Booker easily outclasses Matt when they do get physical, sending him to the outside to regroup twice.

Matt counters a charge with a hangman across the top rope and follows up with a swinging neckbreaker. He slows things down and stops Booker’s comebacks to grind him down with a long sleeper hold as Tazz adopts the Jerry Lawler role for this show on commentary, misusing English slang and talking about British things he doesn’t really understand.

The fans are behind Booker as he finally starts to fight out but Matt cuts that off with a good old fashioned kick to the gut. 

Booker fights back with a spinebuster, a string of big heel kicks and a gorgeous missile dropkick for a near fall but after he connects with the Book End, Matt uses the ropes to break the pin. 

He connects with a desperate Twist of Fate but is too beat up to go for a cover and by the time he finally gets it, Booker kicks out.

Booker counters a second Twist of Fate attempt and scores with a Scissors Kick to win a decent back and forth match. 

Booker knows what the people came to see and doesn’t leave England without a big victory Spinarooni. 

Backstage, Paul Heyman goes to confront Stephanie McMahon about tonight’s main event and how unfair it is. She says that it wasn’t fair when they broke Undertaker’s hand either. He says he can’t wrestle because he doesn’t have any ring gear with him, so Stephanie says he can wrestle in his suit.

Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson vs. John Cena and Dawn Marie

Before this match there’s a quick recap of the events between Torrie and Dawn over the past few weeks, specifically Dawn trying to seduce Torrie’s dad. I didn’t bother capturing it because the editing of it was very weird with long, silent pauses and a jaunty game show style theme song playing in the background the whole time. Very odd and distracting. 

The two girls try to fight it out but their partners hold them both back and in the chaos, Cena attacks Kidman from behind to start the match.Dawn asks to be tagged in but that backfires as Kidman easily fights her off, bends her over his knee and tags in Torrie to give her a spanking.

The girls fight it out for a bit - Kidman comes into the ring to let them roll around on top of him which gets a pop from the crowd - but Cena ruins the fun with a powerslam on Torrie. He’s about to beat her up some more but she uses a low blow to get some space and tags in Kidman who comes off the top with a spinning back elbow for a near fall.

Kidman controls the match and sets up the Shooting Star Press as the girls fight on the outside. He hits it - kind of - but its enough to keep John down and Kidman and Torrie win the match. After the match, Torrie plants a big kiss on Kidman and makes out with him in the middle of the ring. They were dating in real life, as insane as that seems. I’m sure he’s a lovely guy but Torrie is still a 10/10 in her late 40s, never mind when she was in her 20s.

Michael Cole and Tazz interview Edge from ringside about tonight’s main event. They’re really hammering home that Edge can win the title by pinning Paul Heyman which is true, but it also kind of emphasises that he has no chance of beating Brock Lesnar. 

Crash Holly vs. Funaki

Funaki deserves more love from the UK faithful - he’s a blast as Smackdown’s Number One Announcer. Cole and Tazz spend some time talking about how many pets Crash has - lots of dogs, cats and two pigs! 

They start out with some fast paced chain wrestling which gets a Funaki chant, and then Crash pulls out a karate headband from his tights and puts it on, mocking the Japanese superstar with some comedy kung fu. That just fires up the best announcer in the world and he beats up Crash until he bails to the outside and uses a stiff elbow across the apron to get control of the match.

He slows things down with a chinlock but misses a corner rush and gets a bulldog and then a spinning DDT.

The finish comes out of nowhere as Crash fights back and goes for a roll up but Funaki blocks him from completing it and turns into one of his own for the victory.

Backstage, Nidia and Jamie Noble discuss how ugly, gross and trashy the fans in England are. He promises to beat Tajiri and Mysterio quickly so they can get back to God’s country - West Virginia.

Elsewhere, Rey Mysterio slowly puts on his mask and then stares into the camera. Ok cool?

Triple Threat Elimination match for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship

Jamie Noble © (w/Nidia) vs. Tajiri vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey Mysterio enters last as, even this early into his Smackdown career, he’s the biggest star in the division. The match starts quick and with Noble and Tajiri on the outside, Rey flies up and over the top rope and lands on the both.

Rey counters a German suplex by Tajiri into a kick on Noble and then a wheelbarrow bulldog. 

Tajiri breaks up a pin attempt which makes no sense in an elimination match - maybe he forgot the rules. He takes down both opponents with a handspring elbow. The action is fast and furious. 

Tajiri takes out Rey with a stiff kick but then walks into a Tiger bomb by Noble which eliminates the Japanese Buzzsaw and makes this a one on one match for the title.

Noble controls the match and counters a top rope dive into a powerbomb for a near fall and then focuses his assault on Rey’s shoulder, sending him into the ring post and then distracting the referee so Nidia can do more damage.

He locks in a deep hammer lock and Rey tries to roll and flip out of it but Noble holds on and keeps the pressure on his challenger’s arm.

After a long period of grinding down Rey’s arm, he finally starts to fight back with kicks and punches and after Noble gets Rey up onto his shoulders, he counters into a tornado DDT which looked fantastic. 

The action here is really good as Rey gets a near fall with a seated senton, but Noble comes back with a falcon arrow for one of his own.

Rey connects with a sunset flip bomb, nowadays known as a Code Red, but Nidia distracts the referee from counting. He sets up the 619 but Nidia trips him as Noble distracts the referee which leads to a Tigerbomb but Mysterio kicks out! 

Rey goes for a hurricanrana but Noble counters it into a victory roll, grabbing the ropes and Nidia’s hands for additional leverage to steal the win and retain his Cruiserweight title in a really good match.

Rey didn’t appreciate the cheating and dropkicks the champion and his girlfriend into the ropes, followed by a 619 to the pair of them.

Backstage, WWE Tag Team Champions Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit continue to bicker like children over which of them is better and which of them is the team captain. Benoit won at Unforgiven and on Smackdown. Angle says he cheated to win both! They casually insult England multiple times while they chat. Benoit reminds us that Stephanie has told them if they fight while being a tag team they’ll be suspended for a year. It’s all so childish.

Reverend D-Von and Ron Simmons vs. The Big Valbowski and Chuck Palumbo

Two odd, make-shift tag teams here. D-Von and Simmons have been a team a couple of times lately at least. Chuck did lose his actual partner to an injury I guess. 

Ron and D-Von attack early and knock their opponents out of the ring. They’re all moving fast so you know this won’t last long. Valbowski is isolated in the ring briefly before getting a hot (luke warm?) tag to Chuck who comes in and almost wins with a superkick on D-Von until Simmons breaks up the cover. With him and Valbowski fighting on the outside, D-Von rolls up Chuck and holds the tights to steal the win in a match which lasted less than four minutes. Kind of pointless. There is at least a little comedy as D-Von exposed Chuck’s whole ass when pulling his tights for the win.

Just like earlier with Edge, Michael Cole and Tazz conduct an interview with Eddie and Chavo from ringside with them addressing the camera. Kind of. They ignore Cole and instead talk about how much they enjoyed touring Europe, but get confused about which country they’re in. I think they expected boos when calling England Germany, and then transitioned to talking about Mexico and remembering the Alamo. I’m confident no one in the crowd got any of these references, never mind were bothered by them. They end by promising to take the Tag Team titles home to Mexico and their families. These two are always funny even when they’ve got nothing to say. 

Kiss My Ass match

Albert vs. Rikishi

Albert enters first and actually cuts a promo, which feels like a first for him. He says the people are probably thinking about how sexy he is, and assures the women all his hair is natural. Opposed to what? A chest wig? He tells Rikishi that not only will he lose, he’ll then kiss his hairy ass. Gross.

Rikishi is faster than Albert and gives him the run around, sending him to the outside to kick the ringsteps in frustration. 

Albert is bigger than Rikishi if not heavier and floors him with a headbutt and then gets vicious with stomps and a beat down in the corner before exposing one of the top turnbuckles by removing the padding. 

Albert whips Rikishi into it and follows with a charge which gets a near fall, and then he dominates for a big before putting Rikishi down with a bicycle kick. Rikishi kicks out and then avoids a second corner charge. Albert crashes into his own exposed turnbuckle and then gets a superkick and a Rumpshaker which gives Rikishi the victory.

Albert tries to quietly leave, ignoring the stipulation that the loser had to kiss the winner’s ass. Rikishi is there with a microphone to remind him. The referee lays down the law and tells him if he doesn’t come back and do it, he’ll be suspended without pay so Albert has no choice. He still doesn’t want to kiss the big man’s ass and reluctantly gets on his knees. He surprises Rikishi with a low blow and flattens him with a Baldo Bomb. He gets Rikishi in the corner and says he’ll be kissing HIS ass but Rikishi comes back with a lowblow of his own and then finishes with a Stink Face. Really Albert should be happy - Rikishi just saved him from a suspension.

The fun with Rikishi just never ends as he insists on Michael Cole and Tazz joining him in the ring and dancing with him. The fans chant for Tazz. I heard a couple of people try to get a Michael Cole chant going but it wasn’t happening. Tazz doesn’t want to dance - he’s too much of a tough guy for this. Tazz says if he wants them to dance he needs to get ALL of the announcers and insists on Tony Chimmel the ring announcer on joining them too. Rikishi has hats for everyone and the four of them bust a move. Cole is pretty terrible but they were all having fun. The fans enjoyed it.

WWE Tag Team Championships

Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit © vs. Los Guerreros (Eddie & Chavo Guerrero)

There is a video package for this match but it's the same one that was shown before the Tag Title match at No Mercy, but with the Edge and Rey Mysterio parts removed. 

Eddie and Chavo are not officially known as “Los Guerreros” yet, and don’t actually have matching ring gear yet, but they very much are a formal, official tag team now so I’m going with their Los Guerreros name from now on. 

The referee holds the title belts upside down before the match which was funny to me at least - Angle and Benoit have a little straw poll with the fans over which of them should start the match. The fans are chanting “Angle” so that would seem to settle the matter and it’s the Olympian and Eddie who start for their respective teams. Or is it? Eddie immediately tags out to Chavo. Mind games. 

Kurt wins the exchange with Chavo and then shows off to Benoit which gets a cheer. Both men tag out and then Benoit wins his exchange with Eddie, drilling him with a stiff reverse elbow and getting a big pop when he tags in Kurt Angle who the fans in the UK have apparently decided is the big babyface in this match.

Benoit and Angle drill both opponents with German suplexes and continue to show off to each other, playing this game of one upsmanship with Eddie and Chavo’s bodies. It comes back to bite them as it allows Eddie to attack from behind and the Guerreros are back to isolate and work over Benoit for a long stretch, focusing on his back with suplexes, tagging in and out quickly to stay fresh. Eddie stretches Benoit with the Gory special (invented by their grandfather, Gory Guerrero) and Chavo is there with a cheap shot from the apron to stop Benoit’s comeback.

He counters a charging Chavo into a Crossface. Eddie breaks that up quickly and then as the referee argues with Kurt, tries to score a cheap Frog Splash. Benoit moves out of the way and Eddie lands on his own partner! 

Hot tag to Angle who is an unstoppable clothesline and suplexes machine, sending Eddie and Chavo flying all around the ring.

The match breaks down and everyone comes close to victory but the closest is Eddie with a Frog Splash on Kurt Angle. Benoit breaks up the pin.

Eddie shoves Angle into Benoit which in turn knocks out the referee. Eddie locks Kurt in the Lasso from El Paso but there’s no referee to call it if he taps, and Kurt rolls through into an ankle lock but there’s STILL no referee.

Chavo hits Kurt in the back with one of the tag team title belts and wakes the referee up and it seems like the Guerreros have stolen it, but Angle kicks out.

Benoit takes out Chavo and hands Eddie up on the ropes which leads to an Angle slam and Benoit and Angle retain the Tag Team titles in a great match. 

Chris and Kurt continue to argue and shove each other after the match despite the victory and a shoving match thankfully doesn’t go any further. They spot Eddie and Chavo trying to steal the title belts and that snaps them out of it and gets them back on the same page. Briefly.

Before the main event, as Paul Heyman comically struggles to do pushups, he promises Brock that he has a plan for tonight. Lesnar says he did his job at No Mercy, but Paul didn’t do his job tonight. He promises his agent that if he loses the WWE Championship for him tonight he will bust him in half. Ominous.

Handicap match for the WWE Championship

Brock Lesnar © and Paul Heyman vs. Edge

This is Edge’s first ever WWE Championship match, which feels noteworthy. It’s a sign of how far up the card he’s moved since the brand split. Heyman smartly stays on the apron so that Lesnar and Edge can have a straight match.

Edge is fast and takes Lesnar down with a dropkick. He goes to the outside to collect his thoughts and Heyman jogs around the ring with him trying to motivate his client.

Back in the ring, Edge scores two near falls with roll ups but his momentum is stopped in its tracks with a clothesline. He’s side stepped which sends Lesnar to the outside and he’s furious, kicking over the ringsteps. 

Edge goes out on the attack and pays for it as Lesnar wins that battle and, with help from Heyman grabbing Edge’s leg, controls the match and dominates his challenger in the ring. I don’t have a great deal to say as Lesnar just slowly works over Edge in what is basically a house show main event which he is in zero danger of losing.

He does lock in a cool looking modified Boston crab which I liked. 

After that he moves to a long chin lock, which is less cool and then an even longer bear hug on the mat which is the least cool. It’s all gone very boring in the middle of the match here and the fans aren’t as behind Edge as you’d want them to be. 

After a long stretch of being ground down, Edge comes back with a dropkick and then another. He ruins it for himself by drilling Heyman with a baseball slide dropkick but all that did was distract him so Lesnar can get back on the attack.

Edge finally builds some momentum after avoiding a corner tackle and gets near falls with a roll up, then an Edge-o-matic and sends Lesnar to the outside so he can attack Paul Heyman. He drills Heyman with a double axe handle off the top rope and is about to win the WWE Championship but Lesnar barely breaks up the pin.

Edge dives off the top rope all the way to the floor to take out Lesnar and stay in the fight. He follows up with a missile dropkick in the ring but Brock kicks out. 

He goes back to the top rope and dives again, this time for a crossbody but Lesnar ducks and Edge takes out the referee. 

Edge counters the F5 into an Edgecution DDT but there’s no referee to count. Edge just visually won the title. He goes to revive the referee and misses Heyman sliding a chair to Lesnar. He misses his swing and gets a Spear but this time the referee is awake. Brock kicks out at two. 

Edge goes to the top rope again and this time he’s met with a steel chair to the gut, which the still groggy referee didn’t see, and finishes with an F5 to retain the WWE Championship match in a so-so main event which was never in doubt.

At least it made Edge look strong in defeat.

After the match, with Lesnar out of the ring and up the entrance ramp, Paul Heyman grabs the steel chair and is going to beat up the injured Edge. He talks trash too long and Edge boots the chair back in his face and spikes him with an Edgecution DDT. Edge loses but he sends the fans home happy.

This was probably the weakest of these UK exclusive shows I’ve covered. Lots of filler matches and not a lot of stars. The Cruiserweight and Tag Team Championship matches were both good, and as always it’s worth a watch if you want to see all the Ruthless Aggression era gang without needing to worry about storylines. These shows always exist in a vacuum.