Royal Rumble - Fleet Centre, Boston Massachusetts, January 19th 2003

The 16th annual Royal Rumble. The “winner goes to Wrestlemania” stipulation has been around since 1993 but making that the primary selling point of the Royal Rumble PPV is a modern invention. The “Road to Wrestlemania” isn’t something I remember hearing regularly until this event where Michael Cole opens the show with it. The video package is a nice reminder, and is an updated version of last year’s Wrestlemania opening video

This PPV is fondly remembered for a few reasons but the first one most people mention is the entrance ramp - WWE went to a lot of effort and expense to create an indoor water feature! The titantron is off to the side with a constantly falling waterfall in front of it. Very cool, and you can’t even really see it unless the cameras get close to it. It would be cooler if the wrestlers entered through it, but that would be a logistical nightmare with them getting wet or their feet slipping. 

The theme song for this event is Trust Company’s Falling Apart, which I like a lot. They also did the theme song for Vengeance 2002 which is also a banger.

Winner enters the Royal Rumble match

Brock Lesnar vs. The Big Show (w/Paul Heyman)

We waste zero time and get right into the opening match. It’s fair that this starts the show given that the winner will also be in the Royal Rumble match and needs a rest. Brock Lesnar paces like a caged animal when he comes out and looks amped up to get his hands on Big Show after weeks and months of avoiding him. 

Lesnar attacks quickly and backs Show into the corner with shoulder tackles but the 500 pounder is too strong and shoves Lesnar clear across the ring and then follows by throwing him up and over the top rope, and then back into the ring. He slows the pace RIGHT down and works over the Next Big Thing with lots of “I’m massive” offense like stomps, chops and bodyslams.

The fans were hot for this and Lesnar got some chants which I’m sure was music to management’s ears as they worked very hard to make him the company’s top babyface.

Lesnar mounts a comeback with an awesome overhead belly to belly suplex which brings Paul Heyman up onto the apron. Lesnar brings him in and tries to F5 his former agent but pays for it when Big Show snatches him and drills him with a chokeslam. The fans boo, assuming that’s the finish but pop huge for Lesnar’s kickout.

Show goes for a second chokeslam but Lesnar counters out of it, shoves him into Heyman on the apron and then follows with an F5 to win this match and officially enter the Royal Rumble match. 

This was decent, helped by a hot crowd, Heyman’s interference and keeping it short. 

Terri interviews Raw’s Chris Jericho backstage about being in the Royal Rumble match, specifically why when given the chance to pick any entry number in the match, he picked number 2. He calls Shawn Michaels being given number 1 is blatant favouritism and promises to win the entire Royal Rumble from number 2 and prove that he’s the greatest of all time. He’s certainly got the confidence. 

Back at ringside, JR and King remind us all that in 1995 Shawn Michaels entered at number 1 and won the whole thing - at the time, he was the only man to do that though there are other very impressive performances - Ric Flair won the whole thing from number 3 in 1992, and Vince McMahon won from number 2 in 1999 although that one has a huge asterix next to it obviously. 

World Tag Team Championships

Lance Storm and William Regal © vs. The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley)

The Dudley Boyz entrance sounds weird here, as it did on Raw and I’ve only just realised why - they switched to using Powerman 5000’s Bombshell as their theme song and it’s been edited off these shows.

On their way to the ring, the World Tag Team Champions shoot dirty looks and sneers at JR and King who they’ve technically been feuding with on behalf of Eric Bischoff recently. Technically the commentators should be the number one contenders as they’re the only team to have ever beaten Storm and Regal!

Bubba and Lance Storm kick things off and move really fast with Storm trying to wrestle and Bubba surprising everyone by departing from punches and brawling to lock in a leg lace. Vince McMahon is the one who gave Dudleyz this title match and made them promise to break out the tables - don’t get too used to Vince as a babyface though, the evil Mr. McMahon has a big role to play for No Way Out and Wrestlemania.

Storm and Regal isolate D-Von and work him over in their corner with quick tags in and out and lots of kicks and rest holds. Back in their heyday, I used to talk about how every New Age Outlaws match was exactly the same - Roaddogg worked over for ages until a hot tag to Billy Gunn and then the finish. That’s very much become the Dudleyz M.O too with D-Von playing Roaddogg. He makes the hot tag to Bubba Ray who comes in on fire and motors through both champions as the fans start a little “we want tables” chant. 

Bubba scores with the bionic elbow and his Bubba Bomb but Regal just barely breaks up the pin to prevent a title change.

The Dudleyz deliver the Wazzup headbutt down low to William Regal and it feels like the end of this match is moments away. They set up a 3D on Lance Storm and William Regal in the corner very clearly is putting on his brass knuckles. 

Chief Morley comes down to the ring and distracts the referee. The Dudleyz score with a 3D on Regal and then D-Von takes the knuckles and uses them on Lance Storm! He covers and that’s a three count and we have new World Tag Team Champions!

This was Bubba Ray and D-Von’s 16th Tag Team title reign, including all of their ECW Championship wins. This was actually a good night for all three Dudleyz - Spike defeated Steven Richards on Sunday Night Heat before the PPV too. 

There’s a video package promoting the arrival of Nathan Jones - the Colossus of Boggo Road - who’ll be coming to Smackdown very soon and will be a medium to big deal leading into Wrestlemania

Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie

These two women first interacted in October and it has led through one of the most memorable storylines in WWE history. Is it tasteless and dumb? Yes, but full credit to WWE for not pretending this was anything other than that. Michael Cole and Tazz saved a lot of these segments by openly mocking Al Wilson’s acting and turning the whole thing into pure comedy. I do hope this is the end of it now though - it has more than run its course.

Dawn comes out wearing a little black veil as she’s in mourning for her husband. That’s a bit hilarious and I’m confident that they had a good laugh about it backstage too, Tazz says that Dawn Marie-Wilson is in her early 20s and then has a big cough which made me laugh too. This is all a lot more tolerable if you accept it’s pure comedy. Torrie is in all white and Dawn is in all black which I appreciate for the babyface vs. heel illustration.

The referee checks that a tearful Torrie is able to compete and Dawn jumps her stepdaughter from behind to kick things off. I said that their match at No Mercy was a lot better than I expected so this one has a little bit to live up to - but not much.

Torrie actually goes for a German suplex but Dawn blocks it by grabbing the ropes and then takes her down into an armbar. That was decent! I don’t mean to be patronising but I’m sure both of these girls would admit they’re not exactly Kurt Angle in the ring.

Dawn Marie-Wilson focuses on Torrie’s arm with more submissions and there’s an odd spot where they run into the corner and bang heads. I do think that was planned but the crowd boos like it was a mistake. 

Torrie shows off some trainee-wrestler moves with a pair of armdrags and then Dawn actually springboards out of the corner into a clothesline! The fans aren’t into this but do cheer politely when Torrie scores with a swinging neckbreaker out of no where to win the match. This wasn’t great but it was also only 3:35 so it can’t be considered terrible. No spoilers but this isn’t even the worst match on this show.

Backstage, Smackdown General Manager Stephanie McMahon interrupts a chat between Eric Bischoff and Randy Orton to say goodbye. Vince McMahon has told Eric Bischoff that he has 30 days to drop a bombshell and change Raw or he’s fired. Eric says that he doesn’t just have a bombshell, he has an atomic bombshell. He seems confident. Stephanie says that she has one of her own and she’ll be dropping it on Smackdown. She says that blood is thicker than water but he’s not worried - money is much thicker than blood. 

There’s a second Sean O’Haire video promoting his return. He continues his devil’s advocate, truth telling preacher style gimmick. This feels like a good point to talk about him - I think this gimmick had a ton of promise, a talented talker who is knowingly manipulating people and talking them into doing things they shouldn’t do. It’s very interesting and it's a gimmick that Karrion Kross made work in 2024 but sort of peetered out, as did this sadly. 

World Heavyweight Championship

Triple H © (w/Ric Flair) vs. Scott Steiner

Is Triple H scared of Scott Steiner? That’s been the premise of this story so far since Big Poppa Pump’s arrival on Raw

Spoilers but this match is fairly infamous for all the wrong reasons. I’ll get to that at its conclusion. I will say that I liked the video package a lot and it makes this whole feud seem a lot more interesting than it was in reality. 

I mentioned a few times in the build up to this show that Jerry Lawler’s commentary has become significantly more babyface as he’s stopped blindly cheering for heels and openly supporting babyfaces especially with regards to Eric Bischoff and his cronies. Triple H was the big holdout but during The Game’s entrance here, King is quick to agree that Triple H is afraid of Scott Steiner and criticises him. 

Scott Steiner’s last WWE PPV match was at the 1994 Royal Rumble - he entered at number 1 and was eliminated 9 minutes later. He’s definitely gone up in the world since then.

Before the match, referee Earl Hebner reads the riot act to both men and to Ric Flair, telling them that he won’t put up with any of their usual crap and will keep this match fair and square. It’s here that I noticed that Triple H, for the first time since changing his gear to short trunks in 1999, isn’t wearing black. I think the red looks quite good on him but it takes some getting used to! 

Freakzilla wins the early exchange and clubs Triple H with punches (get used to me saying that) and Triple H bails to the outside to get a breather. Steiner follows and continues to hammer him with punches and then forces his spine into the security wall and then the ring post. 

I thought that Steiner had the crowd behind him during this show’s build but the fans in Boston disagree and start changing “Steiner sucks” during this brawl.

Big Poppa Pump continues to dominate with a suplex back inside and then hammers him with more punches and kicks before locking in a Boston crab. It looks terrible and when Triple H reaches the ropes, Steiner actually trips and falls. 

Triple H’s comeback attempt with a facebuster onto his knee is no-sold and Steiner goes for a bearhug and then an overhead belly to belly suplex. 

Ric Flair’s first bit of interference is to pull Triple H to safety when Steiner goes for his Steiner Recliner camel clutch and Triple H finally gets a break with a kick to the face in the corner. 

Triple H slows things right down and chips away at Steiner, getting nearfalls off a neckbreaker and a spinebuster followed by choking him on the ropes and a sleeper but his Pedigree attempt is countered with a slingshot into the corner and another big suplex. Steiner doesn’t really sell, but he does collapse against the ropes more than once which seems to be more because he’s out of breath than hurt. His attempted powerslam is countered with a sloppy neckbreaker. It’s hard to describe the action here as it’s technically not botched but it’s not smooth either - everything looks like so much effort for both men, Triple H must have felt like he was wrestling a washing machine. The fans can tell too and there’s more cheers for Flair and Triple H than for Steiner.

Scott mounts a comeback with some suplexes and nearfalls but is visibly blown up and when he tries a double underhook powerbomb, he loses his balance and falls over mid-move which draws loud boos from the crowd who have now fully turned on this match and Steiner himself. Triple H has had enough and Ric Flair retrieves his World title belt and he and The Game try to leave. Scott is having none of that and follows up the ramp and when Triple H swings the title belt to hit Scott, he counters it with one of his own which busts Triple H wide open. The Champion is bleeding heavily as Steiner gets him back to the ring and throws him around with more suplexes to loud boos. Triple H is determined to run away and crawls out of the ring and goes through the crowd this time but Steiner gives chase and gets the Champion back in the ring again. The referee knows what Triple H is doing and so is letting the rules lapse here to keep the match going, which is the opposite of what he said he’d do earlier. 

Steiner taunts a bloody Game in the ring with pushups and goes back to more clubbing punches to the head. Triple H is desperate and throws the referee out of the ring. He’s about to call for the disqualification but then stops short and says no - it’s not going to end like that! Steiner hits another big suplex for a near fall but a low blow gets Triple H back in the match. He rolls up Steiner - pulling his tights so that we all get a good look at Big Poppa Pump’s maroon thong - but that’s not enough so he grabs his sledgehammer from under the ring. He uses it and that’s finally too much and the referee has no choice but to call for the bell. Scott Steiner wins by disqualification so Triple H keeps the title, and the crowd boo all of this. A terrible match with a terrible non-finish.

The fans don’t even cheer for Steiner getting his hands on the sledgehammer and using it on both Triple H and Ric Flair. Steiner locks The Game in the Steiner Recliner who passes out. It takes seven men - including Eric Bischoff - to get Steiner to release the hold. JR mentioned a rematch and says Triple H has “no way out” of this move, which is dropping some serious hints for next month. Will these two do better than this in the rematch? In fairness, this wasn’t as bad as its reputation has been blown up to be, but it was definitely a poor match featuring multiple botches, clunky exchanges and Steiner being so exhausted he could barely perform.

WWE Championship

Kurt Angle © (w/ Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas) vs. Chris Benoit

Moving from one of the worst World title matches in PPV history to one of the best is a bold move, 2003 but I appreciate your nerve.

Much like the WWE Championship match at Armageddon, this video package features a lot of Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman rather than the two men actually in the match tonight. I also left the video running a little longer so you can get a good look at the indoor water feature I mentioned earlier. Team Angle makes an awesome sight, don't they? Three super athletes in matching gear, all united around the WWE Championship. When Benoit gets to the ring, Haas and Benjamin immediately try to attack the challenger so a group of referees rush down and Team Angle is ejected from ringside so that this title match will be one on one, fair and square. 

They grapple and it’s Kurt who wins the opening exchange. Benoit is a little too pumped up and his charge to the corner ends with his shoulder going into the post. They’re very evenly matched and Benoit battles back with chops. Angle is quick to reverse that with more blows of his own. Benoit hits a nice crisp suplex but misses his follow up diving headbutt. Kurt tries to capitalise but is taken down into a sharpshooter. The champion makes it to the ropes. These two men know each other so well, and as they move from move to move, they’re both so crisp and polished it all looks great. It’s like a chess match, absorbing your opponents moves and waiting for an opening to respond with your own. 

Kurt finally builds some meaningful momentum with a throw to the outside and then locking in a deep chinlock in the ring. 

Benoit finally comes back with a string of clotheslines and a suplex and blows the snot out of his nose at Angle, which is disgusting. He tries for the diving headbutt for a second time but Kurt springs to his feet and runs up the ropes for an awesome overhead belly to belly suplex. He tries for an Angle slam but Benoit counters it into the Crippler Crossface. Kurt just barely makes it to the ropes, so Benoit pulls him back from the ropes and locks him in his own ankle lock! Kurt is the master of that move though and rolls through it into an ankle lock of his own, which Benoit counters into another Crossface. Back and forth these two men go. Kurt breaks the submission exchange with a roll though into a pin but Benoit immediately takes Angle down into a third Crossface. Kurt rolls though as best he can but Benoit won’t release the hold.

The change in position allows Angle to get onto his knees, then feet and break it with an Angle slam. Benoit kicks out and comes back with an incredible German suplex where Angle turns completely inside out, landing on his stomach. 

Laying facedown, Benoit’s third attempt for the Diving Headbutt works and he clears three quarters of the ring to land it on the back of Kurt’s head! The WWE Champion kicks out. Benoit goes for the Crossface again but Kurt counters into a powerbomb but sends Benoit up and over his shoulders to land face first on the top turnbuckle and follows with a second Angle slam but Benoit amazingly kicks out of that too! 

Benoit quickly scrambles into a fourth Crippler Crossface and Angle is SO close to tapping out, but rolls through into a desperate ankle lock. Benoit rolls and squirms and tries to counter out of it but the WWE Champion is locked in and holds on for dear life, refusing to release the ankle lock until finally Chris Benoit has no choice but to tap out. Kurt Angle wins an amazing match to retain the WWE Championship.

These two had many matches together and they were all different kinds of great, but Kurt Angle has said multiple times that this is his favourite. I think it’s mine too. Team Angle rush to the ring and lift their captain up onto their shoulders to celebrate his big win. He won fair and square too - no excuses, Kurt Angle is the best in the world. After he leaves, Chris Benoit slowly gets to his feet and gets a loud show of respect from the fans in the arena, cheering, clapping and chanting for his performance. This is a big moment for him as this begins Benoit’s climb to main event babyface and his own big title win in 2004.

Backstage, Kane shows a little bit of humanity and praises Rob Van Dam and calls him a great tag team partner. Kane mentions how close he came to winning the match in 2001 and says that tonight it’s every man for himself and he’ll do whatever it takes to win. RVD tells him that’s cool and he should do whatever it takes because he certainly will. That’s fair enough.

No video package for the Rumble match this year, just the classic Howard Finkle running down the rules. The audio was a little weird while the match graphic was on the screen which makes me think that he flubbed his lines on the live PPV and it had to be edited afterwards.

The 2003 30-man Royal Rumble match

Number one, from Raw, is the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels. He wants to repeat his feat from 1995 and win the whole thing from the start. Number two is also from Raw - Chris Jericho. He enters and poses at the top of the ramp as usual but he looks odd? Different? That’s because it’s not Chris Jericho, it’s Christian dressed as Chris Jericho. It’s a ruse, allowing Jericho to come from behind with a low blow! Jericho beats up Michaels with fury and grabs a steel chair, busting Michaels open. Number three is Raw’s Christopher Nowinski, the Harvard graduate. He runs to the ring but then stops, happy to let Jericho continue his beating of HBK without his interference.

Jericho effortlessly dumps HBK’s lifeless body over the top rope and Shawn Michaels is the first man eliminated. Nowinski keeps his distance from Jericho until Number four, Smackdown’s Rey Mysterio runs to the ring. He’s happy to get right in the ring and mix things up with Jericho and wows the crowd with springboards and hurricanranas. Nowinski is finally brave enough to get in the ring while Rey’s back is turned but Rey is rescued from a two on one attack by his tag team partner, Number five, Smackdown’s Edge. He hits both Jericho and Nowinski with Spears and then throws them both through the ropes so neither is eliminated. Mysterio and Edge show us that it's every man for themselves as they waste no time mixing it up and Edge almost gets eliminated - I think it was a botch and his feet did touch but the referees say it was only one foot. Raw’s Christian is Number six and he immediately hugs Edge and sucks up to his brother, looking for an alliance. Edge sees through it and drops him with a Spear. Nowinski throws Edge and Rey up and over the top rope but they both hold on and come back with a double missile dropkick from opposite corners. They mistimed it and Edge landed hard on Nowinski’s face, giving him a bad concussion which ended up cutting his career tragically short as he suffered from post-concussion syndrome from this point onwards. One half of the WWE Tag Team Champions Chavo Guerrero from Smackdown is Number Seven and is taken down right away with a 619 from Mysterio.

He hits one on Christian too, and then hurricanranas Nowinski up and over the top rope, making him the second man eliminated. Jericho wastes no time and rushes Rey with a clothesline, eliminating Rey Mysterio third. Jericho and Christian work together on Chavo and Edge as Number eight, Tajiri from Smackdown enters the ring and lights everyone up with kicks to the head and body. Jerry Lawler gets Tajiri mixed up with Funaki which is definitely racist. Come on man. Number Nine is also from Smackdown, Bill Demot. From here the match becomes a familiar sight as everyone pairs up to brawl in the corners and try to slowly push each other up and over the ropes. Demot does at least get to shine briefly, moving fast and charging people in the corners. He almost eliminates Jericho but the King of the World holds onto the ropes. Number Ten is Raw’s Tommy Dreamer who brings his own weapons, entering the ring by hitting Bill Demot with a trashcan lid.

The fans start to chant ECW as he lights everyone up with a kendo stick, including a stiff shot to Jericho’s arm where the tip whips around and catches him in the forehead, busting him open and giving him a big ugly red knot right in the middle of his forehead. I bet that hurt like hell. Jericho makes him pay for it as he and Christian beat him with his own weapons and dump him out of the ring. Tommy Dreamer eliminated before the next entrance even comes out. Tajiri locks Jericho in a Tarantula but pays for it as Jericho dumps him out, eliminating the Japanese buzzsaw.

Next up is Number eleven, Smackdown’s B Squared, who is eliminated seconds later. Thanks for coming. Edge sends Chavo flying off the apron with a Spear to eliminate one half of the Smackdown Tag Team Champions and then, as Edge and Christian battle near the ropes, Jericho eliminates BOTH of them to leave himself as the only man in the ring when Number Twelve, Raw’s Rob Van Dam enters. He is fresh as a daisy and has no problem beating up Jericho with kicks in the corner, followed by a springboard kick and then Rolling Thunder. Jericho is in big trouble. Jericho is thrown up and over and for about the fifth time in this match, barely hangs on. Number thirteen in Smackdown’s Matt Hardy - the Royal Rumble Matt Fact is that Matt strongly dislikes mustard. Important. He has Shannon Moore with him for moral support and when he gets to the ring, he works with Chris Jericho to double team fan favourite RVD. Van Dam has spent much of the past 6 months being a main eventer on Raw so has no problem beating up these two and avoids a Lionsault from Jericho and follows with a Five Star Frog Splash. While he’s hurt and holding his tummy, Matt tries to throw him out but fails as Number fourteen, the other half of the WWE Tag Team Champions Smackdown’s Eddie Guerrero reaches the ring. Matt continues to avoid conflict by teaming up with people and lays out RVD for Eddie’s Frog Splash, but then betrays Latino Heat with a Twist of Fate. With Matt Hardy as the only man standing in the ring, Number fifteen is Raw’s Jeff Hardy and the anticipation is immediate to see the two brothers go at it.

Matt tries to talk his way out of it but Jeff isn’t listening and attacks Matt, throwing him over the top rope. Shannon Moore is quick on his feet and gets down on his back to use his legs to push Matt up, keeping him on the apron. That’s clever. He then gets in the ring to block Jeff’s Swanton Bomb and actually sacrifices himself, laying on top of Matt. Jeff delivers the move anyway to both of them.

Number sixteen is Raw’s Rosey, one half of 3-Minute Warning. The 400lbs Samoan goes right after RVD as Matt and Jeff continue to fight in the corner. Number seventeen is Test from Raw, with Stacy Keibler and of course his thousands of Testicles in his corner. The big man puts down Eddie with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and then a big pumphandle slam on Matt Hardy. He throws Jericho up and over the top but he continues to just barely hold on to the ropes to stay alive in this match. Number eighteen is Smackdown’s John Cena who raps his way to the ring. He’s wrestling in full length baggy jeans which just looks really odd to me.

He actually raps for the full 90 seconds until the next entrant, Number nineteen, one half of Team Angle, Smackdown’s Charlie Haas. The ring is very full by this point with five men from Raw and three from Smackdown in the ring. RVD thins the field slightly when Jeff Hardy goes for something on the top rope and he shoves him to the floor, eliminating Jeff. Number twenty is Smackdown’s Rikishi. Bit of trivia - in 2003, Rikishi held the record for having been in more Rumble matches than anyone with eight. It's interesting of JR to mention it as it acknowledges that Rikishi has performed under different gimmicks previously. Shannon Moore gets in the ring to try and help Matt and pays for it when Rikishi crushes them both in the corner but Rosey stops him from going for a Stink Face. Samoan on Samoan violence. They’re related too, but that’s not mentioned. Number twenty one is the other half of 3-Minute Warning, Raw’s Jamal. Jamal is Rikishi’s brother, something else JR mentions and while he and Rosey try to work together. Rikishi gives his brother a Stink Face for his trouble. Number Twenty two is Raw’s Kane, one of the “favourites” who holds the record for the most eliminations in a single Rumble with 11 in 2001. That record remained intact until Roman Reigns beat it in 2015. Kane eliminates Rosey and then hits a double chokeslam on Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore. Number Twenty three is Smackdown’s Shelton Benjamin who moves quickly to help Charlie Haas and Team Angle work together. The match is just a mass of humanity with brawling in every corner and is hard to follow. Number twenty four from Raw is Booker T. He immediately hits Scissors Kicks on Kane and Matt Hardy and gives us a Royal Rumble Spinarooni, followed by backdropping Eddie Guerrero up and over to eliminate Latino Heat. There’s a lot going on in the ring and it's hard to follow, it feels like we’re overdue for someone to clear the decks. Number twenty five is Smackdown’s A-Train, “a big horse” as JR calls him. He immediately floors John Cena, Shelton Benjamin and RVD with Baldo Bombs before walking into a superkick by Rikishi. It’s at this point that a still bloody Shawn Michaels runs back to the ring and goes after Chris Jericho. He‘s forced to fight off Matt Hardy and John Cena but in the chaos, Test capitalises and launches Jericho up and over the top rope, eliminating the King of the World thanks to Shawn Michaels! HBK dives out after Jericho and continues to wail on him with punches as referees struggle to separate them and get them to go backstage.

Number Twenty six from Raw, Tough Enough winner Maven. He eliminated Undertaker last year in what is probably his most famous moment to this day. The twenty seventh entrant in the 2003 Royal Rumble is Raw’s Goldust. This entry number had, at the time, produced more winners than any other numbers so does that make Goldust the odds on favourite? He’s double teamed by Team Angle and eliminated so they must have been afraid of the same thing. They keep the momentum going and send Booker T out right after. This is a strong first PPV appearance for Haas and Benjamin. Number twenty eight is Raw’s Batista, who doesn’t have his Animal nickname yet but JR has started to call him an animal. He has no problem beating up everyone until he runs into a full nelson slam by Test. He rushes in with a Big Boot but Batista ducks and Test eliminates himself. Batista throws out Rikishi right after. Given that they promoted the return of The Undertaker for weeks, and Brock Lesnar earned a spot in the match earlier tonight, the last two entrants aren’t a surprise are they? Brock Lesnar from Smackdown enters at number twenty nine and goes right after Team Angle, eliminating both Haas and Benjamin at once. He then gives Matt Hardy an F5 over the ropes, sending him flying out onto Team Angle.

Number thirty is Smackdown’s returning Undertaker. Despite some confusing video packages, he does return as the American Badass, not the Deadman. With big right hands, Undertaker eliminates John Cena and Jamal quickly. Maven cockily tries to repeat his feat from last year with a dropkick to Undertaker’s back but it doesn’t work and after a chokeslam, Taker dumps out Maven too.

A Baldo Bomb from A-Train puts an end to his momentum. RVD fights off all these giants with kicks and he and Kane work together briefly but when A-Train tries to powerbomb Kane, RVD catches him with a kick and the tag team work together to send the big hairy man up and over. Kane picks up RVD to throw him at Batista but instead changes direction and throws him out of the ring onto A-Train, eliminating Rob Van Dam. There’s no hard feelings between the two and Kane gives him a shrug as Van Dam smiles and gives him the old “ya got me” point. The final four are Raw’s Kane and Batista and Smackdown’s Undertaker and Lesnar.

Despite their history, Kane and Batista actually work together on Brock Lesnar but the Next Big Thing fights them off and drills Kane with an F5. Lesnar is so strong, he almost launches Undertaker up and over the ropes before he was meant to and is forced to save him. Undertaker drills Lesnar with a tombstone piledriver in return and then clotheslines Batista up and over the top so that we can have a moment between Kane and the Undertaker, who’ve battled and teamed and been intimately involved in each other’s careers since day one - I don’t need to recap all of that business. They tease working together against Lesnar but Undertaker double crosses Kane and throws him out and then when Batista comes back with a steel chair like a sore loser, Undertaker fights him off. The distraction is enough and Lesnar comes from behind to throw him up and over the top rope. Brock Lesnar wins the Royal Rumble, last eliminating The Undertaker and now goes to Wrestlemania XIX for a WWE Championship match! That means that in the 12 months since his debut, Lesnar won the King of the Ring, the WWE Championship, beat The Rock, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and The Undertaker, won a Royal Rumble and will now main event a Wrestlemania. Damn kid. 

Undertaker shows some respect for Brock Lesnar and tells him that he got him but if and when he wins the title, Undertaker wants a shot. He leaves Lesnar alone in the ring to celebrate his big victory alone and the PPV ends rather suddenly, Lesnar not even having time to climb up onto the ropes and pose. This was still pre-pointing at the Wrestlemania sign too so there’s no victory pyro either.

This was an ok PPV. The Rumble match itself was pretty dull for long stretches with only a couple of spots and the fans not really reacting to the big man vs. big man stare downs at the end of night like management wanted them to I’m sure. The World title match was terrible and the rest of the undercard was fine, but the WWE Championship match is fantastic and well worth a watch if you’ve never seen it. Enough to elevate this show from “fine” to “pretty good” all on its own.