Royal Rumble - Alamodome, San Antonio Texas, January 19th 1997

I am biased but I find all of the royalty free dramatic music that the WWF used for its video packages to be incredible. It’s mostly nostalgia but they run through several of my absolute favourites during this one opening video. They added even more regulars to their library during the Attitude era and I love it all.

This PPV marks many big moments but here’s an understated one; this is the first event where Jim Ross wore his trademark cowboy hat! Vince McMahon wanted him to wear it and was on his case about it for some time, since 1994 but JR always refused. He finally relented in 1997 and it didn’t take long before he loved it. I think most fans and even JR himself would have a hard time picturing him without the damn thing now.

WWF Intercontinental Championship

Hunter Hearst Helmsley © (w/Mr. Hughes) vs. Goldust (w/Marlena)

Goldust’s babyface turn came out of nowhere and was begun because he didn’t like how HHH spoke to Marlena. His theatrics were always played up as mind games anyway but sadly for people (like me) who find all of the 90s casual homophobia a bit icky, the MAIN reason he’s turned babyface seems to be that he finally confirmed he is not “queer”. Here’s a video package about this feud.

You’ll notice from the match listing above that the champion is not alone; he’s added a bodyguard, the former Mr. Hughes is back in the WWF as Helmsley backup. He immediately fails as Goldust runs from the ring to attack him on the entrance ramp and hammer him back towards the ring. The match hadn’t started yet so there was no reason for Hughes to keep his distance! What a dummy. 

Goldust hammers Hunter in and out of the ring, bouncing him off the security rail and using the ringsteps to really test how far the referee will let this match go. 

The story of this match is Goldust being a man possessed, hammering Helmsley all around the ring in and out with the champion doing his best to slow him down. His every attempt to counter is stopped in its tracks and even after he hits a nice double axe handle off the top rope to the floor, Goldust avoids a knee which sends Hunter crashing into the security rail. Goldust then goes to work on the leg with a big kick and uses the ring steps again. They’re basically wrestling this like it's a no holds barred match and it's pretty great. I’ve said before that I find Goldust’s matches to be very boring but as a heated babyface he’s far, far better and the pace of this one is good. He slows things down while working on HHH’s leg and locks in a figure four. 

Lawler is all over the referee for this match wondering why there’s been no disqualification or count out. He’s being a heel and supporting HHH but really it's a good point and even JR and Vince agree. It’s Earl Hebner who long time readers of the site will know is one of my least favourite people in wrestling. He’s a TERRIBLE referee not just in kayfabe but as a performer, constantly stealing focus and making himself the centre of attention during big moments and matches. 

Goldust works over the champion’s knee really aggressively until Hunter ducks a running crossbody and Goldust crashes to the outside; they’ve spent a LOT of this match fighting outside the ring and thus far Mr. Hughes has had absolutely zero impact on it. 

Hunter finally strings together some offense thanks to that crash and burn and sends Goldust into the security rail but costs himself when he drops his injured knee onto Goldust’s head which seems to hurt him as much as the challenger. Goldust comes back with a big hard clothesline and has dominated this match. He backdrops HHH so hard that the champ almost landed on his feet! 

There’s a scuffle on the top rope as Triple H tries to use a superplex but Goldust blocks it and then comes off the top with a diving elbow drop which misses. This spot beautifully made my point about Earl Hebner too as every time the camera angle changes he seems to know and walks right into the middle of the shot. What an idiot.

Mr. Hughes throws the Intercontinental title belt into the ring and then distracts the referee but after HHH decides to kiss Marlena instead of using it, Goldust disarms him and uses it instead! That should be enough for the three count but Hughes pulls Triple H out of the ring before the three count. Goldust is distracted by Hughes so Helmsley can recover and a big clothesline followed by a Pedigree gives the champion the victory to retain the title in what I thought was a good match. 

Once again after the match as Marlena checks on Goldust, Earl Hebner decides that this tender moment would be made better by his presence and he joins her. 

Backstage Bret Hart gives his thoughts on tonight’s Royal Rumble match; he has a new more aggressive attitude and says that he’s always been a marked man so tonight is no different. He’s taken too many steps backwards lately and can’t afford to take anymore. Mankind also gives his thoughts which are that tonight is his change to hurt 29 people in one match. 

Ahmed Johnson vs. Faarooq (w/The Nation of Domination)

PG-13 rap Faarooq to the ring. The Nation has become quite the massive entourage for Faarooq as not only does it include PG-13, Crush and Clarence Mason but also around a dozen anonymous young black guys in tuxedos. One of them is a very young trainee wrestler by the name of D’Lo Brown. This feud began months ago in July during Faarooq’s debut appearance so fittingly it gets a video package. They very smartly show as little footage of Faarooq in his original silly powder blue Gladiator outfit as possible and when they do, the footage is black and white. The Nation of Domination is a really good re-brand.

Ahmed Johnson’s theme song is probably the best thing about him. He is popular and the way he was pushed and presented was incredible and made him a star but the fact that he’s a terrible wrestler can’t be ignored. He’s not even a bad promo but his voice is so deep that it’s often hard to understand what he’s saying! 

He sprints to the ring and attacks Faarooq before he’s even had the chance to get his entrance outfit fully off being bounced around the ring in baggy pleather pants until Ahmed rips them off for him, and thrown into the ring post while the Nation keeps its distance. Faarooq hits a punch to the kidney and that creates an opening for him but it doesn’t last long and the powerful Ahmed puts him down with a jumping shoulder tackle. He whips on Faarooq with the leather belt from his own ring jacket which Crush threw into the ring but Johnson will not be denied and, much like the opener, this spends a lot of time outside the ring with throws into the ring steps and security rail. One of the anonymous Nation members puts himself in harm’s way to distract Ahmed and that gives Faarooq an opening to work on the back and deliver a sort of assisted back breaker, putting Ahmed down lower-back-first across the back of the chair. The referee “lets this one go” just like the first match as there’s no disqualification when Faarooq uses the chair as a weapon either. 

Faarooq works aggressively on Ahmed’s lower back and kidney but his attempted clothesline/shoulder tackle/whatever off the top rope is caught and turned into a powerslam. He immediately regains control with a spinebuster, but Ahmed shrugs it off and while Faarooq shows off to the crowd gets back to his feet and uses a spine buster of his own. That’s too much for Faarooq who calls for the Nation to attack and swarm Ahmed. That ends the match via disqualification but Johnson isn’t done and he fights them all off, picking up and throwing one half of PG-13 over the top rope into the group.

Crush and Faarooq make a speedy getaway and leave the various jobbers to face the music. Ahmed singles out one guy, slamming him into the ring steps and finishing him off with a Pearl River Plunge through the French announce desk! That was cool! The match itself was nothing special but it was too short to be bad and the crowd was super into it. Ahmed Johnson was booked like Superman so mission accomplished really. 

There’s more comments from participants in tonight’s Rumble match including the legendary Terry Funk. He made his intentions known last night on Shotgun Saturday Night (the WWF’s brand new weekly show) and seems to think being from Texas is the main reason he’s going to win this match. Elsewhere Faarooq is interviewed but loses his temper at the Nation and berates them for abandoning him. Next time he’s in a fight they better throw themselves in the firing line for him! He calls Ahmed “uncle Tom” again which is a reference I don’t personally get but I believe the point he’s making is that Ahmed is a black man who cares more about white folks than his own people. Rather touchy subject but in 1997 the WWF was trying to get more “real” to compete with WCW so it is what it is. 

The Undertaker vs. Vader 

This is a match which was announced and THEN built up as I didn’t see these two have any interactions before it was set for this PPV. Vader would normally have Jim Cornette with him but a couple of weeks ago on Superstars The Undertaker spiked him with a Tombstone and no one has seen Jimmy since. 

With the loss of Paul Bearer, the changes to his ring gear and the updated music this is finally the version of The Undertaker that most fans know best. He adopted more theatrics during his entrance in 1994 and it all comes together now to make him an awesome presence. 

Undertaker goes on the attack before the bell throwing right right hands, which Vader returns and they trade heavyweight blows. Neither man backs down but Vader seems taken aback by The Undertaker no-selling his blows and again when he sits right back up after a big clothesline. For the third match in a row they battle to the outside and Vader uses the ropes to perform a hangman but his advantage lasts seconds before Vader puts him down with a bodyslam and pair of leg drops.

Once Vader finally gets in control of this match and slowly works Undertaker over in the corner, they cut to an interview with Todd Pettengill in the crowd. He’s speaking to a young female fan who “follows Shawn Michaels everywhere he goes” and she talks about babysitting and saving her money to get tickets for this event. I mean I’m sure she’s lovely but who on Earth cares? And why have we cut away during this match to talk about it? So odd. They cut away during the opener to do the same thing but at that point it was an interview with a famous country singer (never heard of him) so at least that one made sense for the media-attention-starved WWF.

Undertaker battles out with punches to the body and counters a headlock into a back suplex. Both men are quite evenly matched so far. Vader counters a couple of key trademark moves (the top rope walk and big running elbow drop) but Undertaker counters a dive off the middle ropes into a big powerslam. Vader turns that around with a powerbomb which Undertaker kicks out of with ease. These two are throwing bombs at each other and shaking it off - Undertaker was on his feet BEFORE Vader after the powerbomb. He manages his top rope walking sledge on the second attempt and that brings Paul Bearer down to the ring for a closer look.

Undertaker hits Vader with a massive chokeslam and signals for the Tombstone but gets distracted when he notices Bearer. He clotheslines Vader out of the ring and goes after his old manager, rocking him with a punch to the face and bringing him into the ring for a beating. He sets up a chokeslam but Vader makes the save and the match continues; that felt like it was going to be the finish! 

Undertaker runs and launches himself off the ringsteps but Bearer pulls Vader out of the way at the last second sending him crashing into the security railing, followed by hitting him across the back of the head with the urn while the referee is busy with Vader. The big man follows up quickly with the Vader Bomb and pins The Undertaker! He gets out of the ring and, another surprise, gestures to Bearer to come with him and they leave together so perhaps this alliance is more than a one night thing? 

The Undertaker is furious at the loss and gives the referee a chokeslam for allowing all of the interference and shows a lot more personality than he has in the past, kicking the ropes and slamming a steel chair against the ring post. The Deadman is furious. He yells at the commentary desk and finally leaves ringside ready to kill Paul Bearer and Vader. This was an ok big man vs. big man match with an interesting finish and potential storyline development.

More pre-Royal Rumble promos from participants. Stone Cold has no interest in talking to anyone until he’s thrown 29 pieces of trash over the top rope. The British Bulldog speaks to the camera while arriving at the arena and must have been coked out of his mind or something because he shouts about how having a history in Royal Rumbles and how he’ll win tonight because “I am bizarre!”. You certainly are Davey-Boy. 

Heavy Metal, Fuerza Guerrera, and Jerry Estrada vs. Canek, Héctor Garza and Perro Aguayo

I absolutely do not want to be disrespectful to these six men who are all very talented wrestlers I’m sure but I have no idea who is who, the fans don’t care about this match and we’re never going to see any of them again so I don’t feel the need to even try and get invested. I’ll do my best to recap the notable spots but I’m not going to have a ton to say about this one! The partnership with AAA was the WWF’s attempt to mirror WCW’s successful partnership with NJPW, bringing in foreign stars to give American audiences a new and different style. It’s definitely a good idea in theory but the WWF didn’t do as good a job as WCW in mixing them into their existing product and with their current stars so it fell flat.

This is ten minutes of fast back and forth wrestling with a lot of arm drags and drives. The oldest man in the match Perro Aguayo is a legend and steals the show. He’s the slowest man in this match and hits a top rope stomp. Kind of. He actually misses it but then does at least drop an elbow before pinning for the final three count. Not a bad match but I don’t think it added anything to the show.

The 1997 Royal Rumble match

You all know the rules, I won’t waste your time. Number One is Crush from the Nation of Domination and, because wrestling isn’t real, Number Two is Ahmed Johnson. Crush does not look happy. Entrants this year are only 90 seconds apart so it should be quite a quick Rumble. Crush gets all over Ahmed the second he gets in the ring and pummels him but not for long. I haven’t checked the stats so this is more of a memory test but I think Crush might be the first man in history to have been number 30 in one Rumble and number 1 in another. Ying and Yang.

I’m not sure if there was a technical glitch but without a count down, Number Three is “Razor Ramon” who gets a very flat reaction and is thrown out almost immediately by Ahmed. This is the last we’ll be seeing of Rick “Razor Ramon” Bognor and Jim Ross doesn’t even mention him. He’s moved on and so should we. Ahmed sees Faarooq on the entrance ramp and, like an idiot, eliminates himself while going over the top rope to chase him just as Number Four, Phineas I. Godwin enters. For the second time in this match Crush takes his opponent to the mat and they awkwardly roll around which looks so silly. The lack of count down is confirmed by Vince McMahon to be a technical issue and it continues as Number Five, Stone Cold Steve Austin enters. He takes his time getting to the ring - he had debuted his classic leather vest with the silver writing on it but here has defaulted back to his original one with his original logo on it - but is jumped by P.I.G as he comes through the ropes. Austin misses a clothesline on Phineas and hits Crush but shrugs it off. Phineas throws out Crush and then turns right into a Stone Cold Stunner and while talking an enormous amount of trash, gets thrown out too. Number Six is Bart Gunn who runs to the ring full of energy and wins the exchange with Austin but is reversed into the ropes and clotheslined up and over! Austin does some push ups as the only man in the ring. There’s an iconic shot of Stone Cold sitting waiting for the next victim who turns out to be Number Seven, Jake “The Snake” Roberts.

Jake holds his own and does better than the others, fighting off Austin but as Number Eight One half of the WWF Tag Team Champions The British Bulldog comes down, Stone Cold launches Jake over the top rope off camera. This is the last we’ll be seeing of Jake as while he made a couple more appearances, none of them were on Raw. His second run in the WWF was good at first but when it became clear that he hadn’t gotten as clean as he claimed, they couldn’t keep pushing him. Bulldog and Austin have been feuding for a few weeks now and he hammers Austin and puts him down with a running Powerslam. Number Nine is the first of our AAA representatives Pierroth. He is a “notorious rule breaker” according to JR which I guess makes him a heel. He does well and beats up Bulldog so Stone Cold can get a breather. He’s not grateful and attacks the masked Mexican. Number Ten is The Sultan, formerly Fatu of the Headshrinkers and led to the ring by one of his managers The Iron Sheik. Number Eleven is another name from AAA, Mil Mascaras. Mil was a huge deal in Mexican wrestling and has a bit of a following in Texas as the crowd cheers for him and his take down of The Sultan. Number Twelve is the WWF Intercontinental Champion Hunter Hearst Helmsley and he starts throwing punches and pairs off with Mascaras in the corner. There’s not much to describe here as they all bunch up in the corners and try to slowly push each other out. Bulldog bags an elimination out of nowhere clotheslining The Sultan up and over the top. Unlucky Number Thirteen is the other half of the WWF Tag Team Champions, The Slammy Winning King of Harts Owen Hart. He goes right after Stone Cold as JR speculates that Owen and Bulldog might turn on each other. They’ve been teasing issues between the pair of them for a couple of months now and it comes up again here as while he’s trying to “help” Bulldog eliminate Austin, Owen “accidentally” eliminates The Bulldog! He’s furious at his partner and brother in law.

Number Fourteen is Goldust who goes straight after HHH as you’d expect. Owen just barely avoids being eliminated by Mil Mascaras. Number Fifteen is the 3rd of four AAA wrestlers, Cybernetico. The ring is pretty full at the moment and it’s a good mix of unknown canon fodder and actual names like Austin, HHH and Goldust. Number Sixteen is Marc Mero (with Sable) just as the three AAA wrestlers get eliminated by each other. Mil Mascaras dives off the top rope to the floor on his contemporaries and eliminates himself (I think that was a genuine mistake) and Marc Mero eliminates HHH. Owen and Austin pair off as Mero and Goldust go at it in the other corner. Number Seventeen is the final AAA wrestler The Latin Lover. He was likely supposed to pair up with Mascaras until the accidental elimination. Mero beats up Stone Cold who’s been in the ring the longest while Owen eliminates Goldust. Number Eighteen is the leader of the Nation, Faarooq. He goes right to work on the Latin Lover and dumps him out of the ring with little to no effort and starts fighting with Austin. Faarooq doesn’t get long in the ring before he’s attacked by Ahmed Johnson with a comically long 2x4.

He knocks Faarooq out of the ring as referees flood the ringside to keep the two apart. Stone Cold eliminates Owen Hart and Marc Mero while everyone is distracted which makes 5 eliminations so far for Austin. Number Nineteen is Savio Vega and he sprints down and tackles Stone Cold off his feet and goes hard on the attack, bouncing him around the ring and knocking him down with a spinning heel kick. Austin reverses Savio into the corner and then clotheslines him up and over the top rope. That makes six eliminations for Austin and for the 3rd or 4th time in this match he’s the only man in the ring! Number Twenty is The Real Double J Jesse Jammes. He’s attacked while his music still plays, booted in the gut and thrown over the top rope! Austin cannot be stopped in this match and beckons for number 21 to come down and meet the same fate. We get another iconic shot of Austin; absolute shock on his face when Number Twenty One, Bret Hart’s music hit.

Austin gets his game face on and changes attitude quickly, telling Bret to bring it. He’s a heel but he’s not afraid of ANYBODY, even Bret Hart. Stone Cold is tired having been in there since number 5 and Bret kicks his ass, stomping him down in the corner. Bret is the only former Rumble winner in this match and as he turns Stone Cold over into the Sharpshooter, Number Twenty Two, Jerry “The King” Lawler’s music plays. He is smug and over confident and Bret breaks the sharpshooter just long enough to uppercut Lawler up and over the top rope, immediately eliminating him! The Hitman goes right back to Austin and keeps beating on him. He’s not even trying to eliminate him, he just wants to punish him. Number Twenty Three is “Diesel” and, much like with “Razor” earlier, this event marks his final TV appearance under this gimmick. We’ll be seeing Glen Jacobs again though don’t you worry. Number Twenty Four is Terry Funk who is so keen to get to the ring he’s most of the way down the ramp when the buzzer sounds. He doesn’t have any theme music. He goes right after Stone Cold; the two of them had a fight on Shotgun Saturday Night and the commentators say that Funk was “rather outspoken” and apologise for his language. Well now I want to know what he said! Number Twenty Five is Rocky Maivia and he runs down and goes right after Stone Cold. Enjoy the historical significance of that for a moment.

He lifts and almost eliminates him but Austin barely holds on. Bret and Terry Funk, the two veterans, size each other up. Number Twenty Six is Mankind who should be considered a favourite given his high on the card placement for most of 1996 but he hasn’t done much since his feud with Undertaker ended. I hope we start seeing more of him again soon. He goes after Terry Funk and JR has a little wink and a nod to the hardcore fans who know the history between Mick Foley and Terry Funk. Twenty Seven is Flash Funk (sans Funkettes and with a different theme song) and as he gets to the ring Bret spikes Stone Cold with a nice piledriver. He keeps hammering on his arch-rival and has yet to even try and eliminate him. Number Twenty Eight is Vader who is coming in with the most momentum after his huge victory earlier tonight. He takes his time getting to the ring but goes right after Bret Hart when he gets there. Number Twenty Nine is Henry O. Godwin which is a disappointment. In modern Rumbles they save these last couple of slots for the big names and surprises. The ring is pretty full with everyone paired off and brawling as Number Thirty, The Undertaker enters. The arena plunges into darkness to keep everyone on their toes and he beelines for Vader and Mankind. He clears everyone out with chokeslams including Stone Cold and Vader. I just want to take a moment and point out how strong the roster is about to get. Currently in the ring is Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, Mankind, Bret Hart, The Undertaker and the future Kane, as well as Vader and Terry Funk. Wow. Vader delivers an overhead throw to Flash Funk to eliminate him. The eliminations start to build as Undertaker launches Henry Godwin over the top rope by this throat followed by Mankind locking Rocky in the Mandible Claw and shoving him up and over the top rope. Mankind charges at Funk with a clothesline that takes them both up and over the top rope but lands on the apron and battles it out for a suplex which Mankind wins, eliminating Terry Funk. Undertaker eliminates Mankind easily while he’s still at the ropes and so he just immediately starts to fight with Terry Funk on the floor. Bret throws Stone Cold up and over the top rope but he’s NOT eliminated. The referees are too busy with Mankind and Funk so he gets back in the ring and dumps out Undertaker and Vader while Bret eliminates “Diesel” Bret thinks he’s won but Stone Cold comes from behind to throw out Bret! That’s a 10th elimination and the victory in this Royal Rumble for Stone Cold Steve Austin! Bret is furious and starts attacking and accosting referees. He’s been screwed again! He even goes over to scream at the commentary desk, grabbing and shaking Vince McMahon and loudly calling this bullshit! Bret Hart is a very sore loser and Vince calls him unsportsman like. 

This wasn’t much of a Rumble match but Stone Cold was the focal point which I love. There was a little timing issue as in the record books, the final four men in this match were Bret Hart, Undertaker, Vader and Stone Cold Steve Austin but in reality, the fake Diesel was still there too. A weirdly high profile final appearance for him but Stone Cold wins the Royal Rumble which is awesome. 

WWF Championship

Sycho Sid © vs. Shawn Michaels (w/Jose Lothario)

This match was locked in months ago really. Not so much the participants (the original plan was for Sid’s role to be played by Vader) but Shawn Michaels’ big moment in his hometown in this huge stadium. I suspect that the music in this video package was dubbed at a later date as there’s points where the music is so loud we can barely hear what anyone is saying. 

A little bit of last minute story as Shawn Michaels has a pretty bad cold bug (they keep calling it the flu but I think they’re being dramatic) and works through it. 

They amp up the “big fight feel” for this match as Shawn’s walk to the ring is covered with the fans screaming for their hometown hero. Great atmosphere and he looks cool in his cowboy hat. The commentators stay quiet as Shawn takes his time, letting his music loop twice and soaking in the crowd reaction. Sid has been so popular but he gets booed here in HBK’s hometown. That’s fair but I still love you Sid. 

Michaels takes it to Sid but is overpowered both inside and outside the ring.

There’s not a lot to recap as Sid slowly works over Michaels’ lower back with a long camel clutch and drives him spine-first into the ring post a couple of times on the outside. He grinds down Shawn with a long, long bearhug as they show HBK’s parents looking emotional. It’s a long and sound game plan by the champion pouring all of his offense into the same area of the body. Shawn tries to fight back and hits the top rope elbow but his Sweet Chin Music is blocked and he’s thrown out of the ring. Sid hits a powerbomb outside the ring which I have to say looked very safe - he took good care of Shawn and didn’t release until he was near the floor.

Sid gets distracted with the Lothario’s and threatens to chokeslam them but that gives Michaels’ time to get back up and into the fight. In the ring, Sid chokeslams him and covers for the visual three count but there’s no referee to count - he was knocked down during the fight on the outside. A second referee runs down to count but by the time he gets there, Shawn kicks out. Sid is furious and the second referee gets knocked out by an errant elbow. Michaels takes advantage and grabs one of the TV cameras, hitting Sid in the back and then in the face but there’s still no referee to count and by the time he does wake up, Sid kicks out! Michaels isn’t deterred and takes aim, connecting with Sweet Chin Music! Sid is out and that’s finally enough for the three count. Shawn Michaels regains the WWF Championship in a slow, mostly dull match which thankfully had a nice exciting finish! 

Shawn Michaels, loaded with the flu and doing his best to smile, celebrates with Jose Lothario and his hometown fans and the show has a lovely Christmas day style happy ending. HBK makes his way all around the ring hugging each and every member of his family that he can find. Man of the people in San Antonio and yeah he gives Vince a big hug too. 

This was a good show - I enjoyed the entire undercard (to different levels) and the Rumble match was the Stone Cold Steve Austin show. The main event was fine with a big happy ending. This show is an easy watch and a fun event. Here’s the full show recap from the end of the PPV.