Royal Rumble 1999 - Anaheim Pond, Anaheim California, January 24th, 1999
This PPV opens with an awesome video package and the debut of one of the all time great WWF production tracks - No Chance in Hell - which from tomorrow night on Raw will act as Vince McMahon’s theme music for the rest of time. It’s an awesome song.
The only story in the Royal Rumble match? Stone Cold is number 1, Vince McMahon is number 2. There’s 28 other men in it but they don’t really matter. Or should I say, 27 other men and one woman as Chyna will enter at number 30 and be the first woman to ever compete in the match. So two stories. The video package does also feature Vince McMahon seemingly not knowing what "unanimous" means, and a graphic which says the match has "One Goal" (to win and go to Wrestlemania) as Vince explains in voice over that he has in fact added a second goal - whoever eliminates Stone Cold gets $100k.
WWF Tag Team Champion The Big Bossman vs. WWF Hardcore Champion Roaddogg
Michael Cole is very suspicious that this isn’t for Roaddogg’s Hardcore Championship and speculates that it's because the Corporation knows Roaddogg has found his niche in those Hardcore matches and doesn’t want to risk Bossman losing. He’s right too - the best work of Roaddogg’s career has been in Hardcore title matches over the past month. In reality I think it was because every match on this show apart from the Rumble itself is for a championship, and they didn’t want to open the show with a weapons filled brawl that goes all over the arena as that’s what the Mankind vs. The Rock match will be later.
This match is slow, but competent. It’s a bit boring basically. Every time Roaddogg tries to mount a comeback, Bossman wipes him out with a big punch and slowly works him over.
Roaddogg connects with his juking and jiving punch combination but as he goes for the shake rattle and roll knee drop, Bossman catches him coming off the ropes with the Bossman slam (sidewalk slam) to win the match.
Not a great opener as it was low energy, slow and the fans were near silent for the finish.
WWF Intercontinental Championship
WWF Tag Team Champion Ken Shamrock © vs. Bad Ass Billy Gunn
Bad Ass Billy Gunn beat Ken Shamrock clean in a non-title match a few weeks ago during a night of Corporation vs. D-Generation X singles matches but Shamrock refused to give Mr. Ass a title shot until a couple of weeks ago when Billy Gunn went out and mooned Ken Shamrock’s sister who was sitting in the front row of Raw. Shamrock snapped and offered this title match so he could put a beating on him.
This is the first PPV to feature the updated pre-title match graphics saying which championship is on the line and they’re so much nicer than the previous ones.
Ken Shamrock had an amazing 1998 being in a featured feud with The Rock for the first few months, winning the King of the Ring tournament and his awesome feud with Owen Hart, being in the mix for the WWF title and then parlaying a heel turn into the Intercontinental title and one half of the tag team titles too. Will his 1999 be as good? Sadly, no.
The woman Billy mooned - Ken’s sister Ryan - is actually played by his real life girlfriend which is kinda…gross, right? The message here is clear - if you bring a family member to a WWF event, Billy Gunn WILL show them his arse.
Billy is working with a bad ankle (kayfabe) in this one but the bulk of the match has Shamrock going nowhere near it and working over Mr. Ass’s back instead and the fans, much like for the opener, are very quiet during this. They don’t even really pick up for Billy’s comeback but he does get a little pop for a move where as they fight on the apron, Billy grabs Shamrock’s head and dives off the apron, driving Shamrock’s head into the announce table. Shamrock actually did the same thing to him on Raw.
The match’s pace picks up a little but dies a death when Shamrock locks in a standing front facelock. This is unbelievably slow and you’d have to assume one of the reasons neither of these guys ever got a sustained singles push as they cannot carry a long PPV singles match.
The referee gets accidentally clotheslined. With all three men in the ring down, Val Venis runs in and plants Shamrock with a DDT! Val also took a wicked beating from Shamrock as just before Billy Gunn mooned Shamrock’s sister, Val Venis gyrated at her and that's actually how we found out it was Kenny’s sister in the first place.
Shamrock barely kicks out after the DDT when the referee recovers. Billy takes over with a big corner splash and a scoop slam but then bizarrely goes to the top rope which is something he never does. He jumps, Shamrock moves and Billy lands on his feet and crumples, selling his ankle. Shamrock locks in the ankle lock and by submission, is still the Intercontinental Champion.
This match was a little exciting at the finish but was incredibly slow in the middle and the fans were totally out of it. Better than the opener but not by much.
Shane McMahon, Pat Patterson and Gerry Brisco pump up Vince McMahon backstage. Vince is the man, Vince will own Austin, Vince is going to win the Royal Rumble and so on. Earlier tonight on Sunday Night Heat Vince actually slapped Stone Cold in the face! They also tried to keep Austin from the building by blocking the entrance and so Stone Cold used a "Limousine monster truck" to crush a bunch of parked cards on the way in.
WWF European Championship
X-Pac © vs. Gangrel
Gangrel still has one of the best themes in all of the WWF but because they’re on a flat concrete floor in this arena can’t do his awesome “rise up through the ring of fire” entrance. This is the third “member of DX in a singles match” match on this PPV. The European title was kind of hot when X-Pac and D’Lo were feuding over it but it’s barely been mentioned since that ended. Europe needs D’Lo, is basically what I’m saying.
Much like the previous two matches, both of these men are doing double duty and are in the Royal Rumble match as well as this one.
This is easily the best of these three men’s singles matches on the undercard as X-Pac moves lightning fast and Gangrel uses moves like a double underhook belly to belly suplex and a hangman across the top rope.
X-Pac uses a bronco buster and a barrage of spinning heel kicks for his offence. The spinning heel kick is 90% of X-Pac’s moveset.
In a famous botch, X-Pac dives off the top rope into a crossbody and Gangrel rolls through into a messy cover and referee Teddy Long counts to three. It wasn’t the finish and the fans chant “you fucked up” at him. After a nice snapping bodyslam, X-Pac hits the X-Factor and retains his European title.
This was a decent Raw match but hardly PPV worthy. It was much better than the first two matches though and beggars can’t be choosers.
Kevin Kelly is standing by with Triple H, Chyna and X-Pac. He asks if they’ll work together in the Royal Rumble match as all five members of DX are in the match. An exhausted breathless X-Pac walks in and mumbles something about “a hundred grand” Triple H says it’s every man for themselves. “And woman” adds Chyna. I mean yeah, OK.
Shane McMahon comes out to a little jazzy piece of synth music and brings out “the next WWF women’s champion, Luna '' Luna attacked and injured the back of Sable earlier tonight on Heat. Luna’s music has been dubbed over on the WWE Network for some reason. I assumed her theme was always a production track anyway. Shane says that Sable has suffered a back injury that’ll stop her competing tonight while they show Luna’s attack and that Sable is going to forfeit the women’s title tonight. Shane has been kind of feuding with Sable for a couple of months but it hasn’t been mentioned in a while. Sable has actually not been on TV much considering her legendary popularity in this era. The hot gossip at the time was that she wasn’t happy with being “just a wrestler” and didn’t like the creative she was offered, which made Vince kind of petty and spiteful about it. Sable heavily sells her back but says to “ring the bell” and so Shane joins commentary to watch this match. I’d imagine they thought the fans would cheer for Sable showing such guts and bravery in demanding the match go ahead despite her badly hurting back, but they didn’t react at all. Oh dear.
There's actually a ton of behind the scenes footage of this event on the documentary Beyond the Mat where we see Vince Russo instructing Sable to sell her back and hyping how how good it'll be for the match and the storyline. Yeah that didn't work out.
Strap match for the WWF Women’s Championship
Sable © vs. Luna
This is night and day with how Sable was presented before. She’s wearing ring gear that shows almost no skin and the fans are near silent for her. This might just be a bad crowd I guess but honestly I think the combination of never being on TV, and never seeming particularly happy to be there when she is, has made the fans turn on her a little.
This is a classic strap match where you can win by touching all four corners which makes it kind of lame in my opinion. I always hated this gimmick.
The two women whip each other with the strap which does wake the fans up a little.
Shane on commentary is very pro-Luna and calls her a hotty which…to each their own, y’know? Shane’s gimmick has become a rich spoiled brat which he’s brilliant at playing, and the implication seems to be that Sable rejected him so he’s basically abusing his power to punish her. Incel behaviour from Shane O’Mac.
This match has the same finish that every one of these matches has - the heel tangles up the face in the strap and drags them on their back as they touch the corners completely unaware that the face is touching the corners too as they go around. It gets down to a race to see who can touch the 4th corner first and with the referee distracted by Shane on the apron, “the crazy stalker fan” that's been following Sable for a while runs in and punches Luna which lets Sable touch the last corner first and retain her title. She’s had this title for two months and this was her first defence. The stalker fan is future WWF women’s wrestler Tori.
This match was…not good. It wasn’t long enough to be awful though. I’d argue that it was better than the opener.
There’s an awesome video package for the WWF title match. It’s the same one they showed on Raw last week. It does feature The Rock’s casual racism towards Chinese people as he does a little bit of “funny nonsense Chinese speak” which is something he did a lot.
He also keeps calling people, specifically Kane, “retard” which is either beeped or muted each time. The Rock is problematic. We do also get a fun classic Rock promo before the match too. This is the start of the period where The Rock wrestled all his matches in a loose fitting Adidas tracksuit. It was because he’d recently had some surgery - breast reduction surgery to reduce the genetic “man boob” problem that all Samoan men are genetically predisposed to get regardless of age or physical condition - and this is to cover up the scars until they’ve healed.
I Quit match for the WWF Championship
Mankind © vs. The Rock
Mankind debuted his awesome “Wreck” theme song on the previous Raw which Mick Foley has used ever since. It’s a great theme song and suits this loveable babyface version of Mankind to a tee. Earlier tonight on Heat during what Vince McMahon called “a warm up match” against the returning 500lbs Mabel, The Rock ran in and planted him with a Rock Bottom leaving him prone for a pair of huge splashes on the mat.
This match starts fast and furious with Mankind on the attack and quickly shoving the mic carried by the referee into Rocky’s face so that we understand the gimmick here. One of them has to say “I Quit” The Rock keeps making the crowd laugh as Mankind hammers him with the mic and The Rock’s responses get increasingly Rock-like “The Rock is gonna kick your fat ass” The challenger gets his first taste of advantage reversing a whip into the stairs which sends Mankind flying over them. He takes Michael Cole’s headset and talks some trash on commentary until Mankind tackles him and they fight around the time keeper’s area.
Back in the ring Mankind locks in the Mandible Claw with Mr. Socko and The Rock fades and passes out.
The Rock does get back on the attack when after they fight out into the crowd, he counters a Foley charge with a bodyslam over the barrier. He puts the ring bell on Mankind’s head and dings it with the hammer which gets a big pop, then sings “Bells will be ringing” into the mic. He can sing too. He sets up a Rock Bottom through the announce table but it collapses under their weight and the two tumble to the floor which looked painful honestly - could have twisted an ankle or jammed their knees.
The match’s violence level starts to ramp up as they fight up the ramp (see what I did there?) and referee Earl Hebner, like always, manages to massively be in the way as he sticks as close to the action as humanly possible and stays on camera. Just stand back and come in when they need the mic Earl. I hate him.
The Rock DDTs Mankind on the bare concrete floor but he won’t quit. The Rock disappears backstage and reemerges carrying a ladder. Not a gimmicked one either - it looks like just a real, tall ladder.
It gets set up against the crowd and the two climb up onto a ledge about twenty feet off the ground above the concrete. They fight along, holding onto the barrier until The Rock knocks Mankind off and he goes crashing onto some big technical equipment with a thud. There’s sparks and crackling and the arena lights go out. A huge spotlight keeps us watching the action as The Rock climbs down. Michael Cole begs for the match to be stopped. Shane McMahon comes out and says that Mick is done and they should just call the match. The Rock won’t let it happen. “Nah nah nah, no doctors, no nothing! That son of a bitch will scream “I Quit” and I’ll be damned if he doesn't!”
Mankind crawls back to the ring as The Rock trash talks him on the mic, stomping at his head while they go.
It's here, as this match starts to escalate, that I’ll mention this - Mick Foley’s wife and two very young kids are in attendance at this event. They were going to go to Disneyland afterwards. Their reactions to this match and the insane level of punishment Mankind takes to the head are documented in Beyond the Mat and it's pretty upsetting.
The Rock handcuff’s Mankind’s hands behind his back and continues stomping away.
Mankind is bleeding as The Rock slams his head over and over into the top turnbuckle. Mick mounts a comeback with a low blow and a series of kicks of his own, driving his knee right into The Rock’s crotch which gets a BIG reaction from the fans. That was good. He’s still handcuffed though so The Rock takes over with a clothesline and in a spot no one will ever forget, grabs a steel chair. He lays it on Mankind’s head and drives it in with a well placed Corporate Elbow. That looked REALLY painful considering how silly the move is. The Rock keeps asking Foley if he quits as a barely conscious Foley says no each time. He delivers two brutal chair shots to the head and asks again. “You’ll have to kill me” A third chairshot and forth doesn’t even knock Mankind off his feet but the sixth does. Both commentators - even the heel King who was loving this a minute ago - beg Mick Foley to quit as he crawls out of the ring and takes chair shots seven, eight and nine.
The Rock refuses to stop hitting him until he says “I Quit” Chairshot ten and then finally number eleven to the back of the head has Foley collapse face first at the top of the ramp. Eleven brutal chair shots to the head which got increasingly uncomfortable to watch while the commentators begged him to quit. The Rock shoves the mic in Foley’s unconscious face and what is clearly a recording of Mankind saying it during a promo blares out “I quit! I quit! I quit!” over the speakers. It's sold as it no one would be able to tell and I'm kind of giving away the "big twist" from Raw tomorrow night but the fact is, The Rock is once again WWF Champion.
This was a deeply uncomfortable and violent end to a great match. What they had planned was basically this, but with only three or four chair shots. Either because Foley was legitimately knocked silly, or because The Rock got carried away - probably both - it ended up being so much more violent. The fans are in stunned silence here.
Foley refuses to leave on a stretcher and climbs to his feet, walking out soaked in blood. What a guy.
The 1999 Royal Rumble match
This is going to be a nightmare to recap. I’ll do my best guys.
Stone Cold is number one and trying to become the second man at the time to have gone wire to wire, and trying to win his third straight Rumble match. Number two is Vince McMahon who comes out shirtless and all oiled up, showing off his huge, muscular body. I mean good for him, right?
The bell rings and Austin immediately punches Vince back into the corner and stomps the life out of him as the fans get louder and louder. Austin slams Vince and takes his time, walking around and stomping him in the gut. Austin toys with eliminating Vince but he wants to keep him in the ring and keep beating on him. The third entrant is Golga of The Oddities. He doesn’t get in the ring and leaves Stone Cold to it for a bit before jumping him. He wants the $100k bounty. It backfires as Stone Cold quickly eliminates him. McMahon crawls under the bottom rope and takes off through the crowd and Stone Cold follows. Neither man is eliminated. They fight up through the stands and into the backstage area. As they do, the forth entrant is Droz who still comes out to the LOD music and in his LOD gear despite being outed as Hawk’s drug dealer and kicked out of the group last month. Austin follows Vince into the women’s bathroom in the concourse area and is jumped by all of Team Corporate as we lose the camera feed. Entrance number five is Edge who attacks fast with a charging crossbody and now he and Droz are the only ones in the ring. I am perplexed by Droz’s presentation as still a member of the LOD here. Michael Cole reminds us that Stone Cold and Mr. McMahon are both still in the match. Entrant number six is the WWF Light Heavyweight Champion Gillberg! Duane Gill debuted his knock off Goldberg parody gimmick on Raw last week. The loud piped in “Gillberg” chants are funny. He poses on the ropes and Edge shoves him out with no effort immediately. Cutting backstage, Team Corporate leaves Stone Cold unconscious and face down in the women’s bathroom backstage. He’s still legally in this match but appears to be eliminated the hard way.
Number seven is Steve Blackman. It keeps cutting to Stone Cold backstage being tended to by referees, then loaded onto a stretcher and then taken away in an ambulance over the next ten minutes or so. I realise I’m not saying much about the match between entrants and that’s because there’s nothing happening. Very punchy-kicky. Entrant number eight is Dan Severn who turned heel on Blackman immediately after returning from his kayfabe neck injury in a moment that made no sense. This is only Severn’s second PPV appearance as a wrestler, with the first one being at the 1998 King of the Ring. This is also his last. Number nine is Tiger Ali Singh. He’s not even his mum’s favourite wrestler. He is apparently a lovely guy in real life though, and does a lot for charity. Number ten is The Blue Meanie of the JOB Squad. King said in the run up to this event that this was “the most star-studded Royal Rumble in WWF History” Entrant number eleven doesn’t come out. The buzzer sounds, no music plays and no one enters. Backstage we discover that it was supposed to be Headbanger Mosh but he’s jumped and assaulted by the giant 500lbs Mabel who has taken his place. So Mabel is number eleven. They even play some generic rock entrance music for him. Mabel immediately eliminates Steve Blackman, Dan Severn and Tiger Ali Singh. Number twelve is the Hardcore Champion Roaddogg who enters just as Mabel throws out The Blue Meanie. He throws out Edge next and as he and Roaddogg - the only two in the ring - start trading blows the arena lights go out and The Undertaker’s music plays. The lights come back on and The Acolytes - Bradshaw and Faarooq - and Mideon, all three members of The Undertaker’s Ministry of Darkness. They beat Mabel out of the ring over the top rope and The Undertaker says stuff to him that we can’t hear before The Ministry leads him away, with Undertaker and Paul Bearer calmly following.
The Roaddogg is now the only man in the ring. Unlucky number thirteen is Gangrel, who is eliminated very quickly by Roaddogg. Number fourteen is Kurrgan of The Oddities. He’s an enormous man and brutalises Roaddogg. I spent fifteen minutes watching Roaddogg get slowly beaten down by a big dude earlier, I don’t need it again thank you. Number fifteen is Al Snow, who is still missing Head. He/she/it was abducted by Goldust. We’re half way through and outside of The Undertaker (non-participant) showing up to abduct Mabel (last minute participant) and the Austin/McMahon stuff at the start, NOTHING has happened. Roaddogg shoves Al Snow out really quickly while he was standing on the ropes trying to get Kurrgan out. Number sixteen is Goldust. Why did they eliminate Al Snow so quickly if the man he’s currently feuding with was due to come out next? He manages to DDT the massive Kurrgan and Roaddogg takes over with some kicks to both men while they’re down. Number seventeen is The Godfather, accompanied by two of his hoes. He’s wearing a lovely colourful shirt. The Godfather sends the hoes to the back with all of his chains and hat which gets boos and a “we want hoes” chant. King says he wants the hoes to come and sit with him because he’s a creep. Number eighteen is finally someone who could potentially win this match, Kane. Kane has been forced to work with and join the Corporation on threat of Vince McMahon having him locked away in an insane asylum. Kane on Raw stood up for himself and so he’s at odds with The McMahons again. He eliminates Roaddogg, Godfather and then chokeslams Goldust over the rope. The men in white coats rush the ring with a straight jacket to try and capture him. He dispatches them but steps over the top rope to chase after them, which draws loud audible groans from the live crowd.
Its at this point, while number nineteen, Intercontinental and Tag Team Champion Ken Shamrock enters, that Mr. McMahon returns. He does a lap of honour in the ring before going out to join the commentators. He is not legally eliminated from the match. He says that he accomplished what he wanted to - Stone Cold is gone and he’s not coming back. He said that Austin had “No chance in hell” and he’s delivered. Number twenty just happens to be Bad Ass Billy Gunn, the man Shamrock is feuding with (Because wrestling isn’t real, y’see) Billy runs out on one leg with only one boot on, limping and selling his bad ankle. He still does some impressive power moves including a gorilla slam and he almost eliminates Shamrock who skins the cat back inside and uses a chop block. Number twenty one is Shamrock’s Corporation team mate, Test. Out in the parking lot, The Acolytes and Mideon beat up Mabel and load him into a hearse and The Ministry of Darkness drive off. It’s not, while the camera is out in the parking lot that an ambulance arrives with its sirens on. The fan immediately picks up. It’s Stone Cold! He’s back. He commandeered the ambulance and came right back to the arena and finally, the fans made some noise for this Rumble match. Austin matches back to the ring at the same time as number twenty two, WWF Tag Team Champion Big Bossman enters. Stone Cold chases McMahon who slides into the ring so Shamrock can save him. Austin does eliminate Ken Shamrock and Bossman attacks while the fans loudly chant “Austin.” Bossman tried to use his noose to strangle Austin but he turned the tables. Number twenty three is Triple H who goes right after Test, saving his friend Billy Gunn. Billy Gunn goes after Austin to some boos. He wants the $100k bounty. The men in the ring are fighting over who gets to eliminate Stone Cold! Number twenty four is Val Venis. Vince on commentary screams about the $100k, telling them to all go after Austin. He’s getting incredibly desperate. Stone Cold throws out Billy Gunn. Number twenty five is the European champion X-Pac. He does hit a nice spinning heel kick on Stone Cold and tries to throw him out. Number twenty six is Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry. They barely mention all his nonsense with Sammy and Chyna which is for the best. Twenty seven is Jeff Jarrett but the fans are more interested in Debra. Twenty eight, accompanied by Terri Runnels and Jacqueline, is D’Lo Brown. Michael Cole very casually recaps Terri having a miscarriage and using D’Lo’s guilt about causing it to blackmail him into being “their guy” Stone Cold eliminates Test and X-Pac in rapid succession too. Just as Jeff Jarret is eliminated, his tag team partner Owen Hart enters at number twenty nine. Austin takes a moment to roll out of the ring, drink some water and then throw the rest of it in Mr. McMahon’s face. Finally, as the men all pair off and fight, Chyna enters at number thirty to round out this Royal Rumble. “The most star studded in history” apparently. She goes right to Mark Henry, beating him up and throwing him over the top rope. She doesn’t get to celebrate for long as Austin lays in wait and then clotheslines her out over the top rope. “One of these six men is going to Wrestlemania” says Michael Cole. The six in the ring includes Bossman, Owen Hart, Val Venis and D’Lo Brown who all definitely aren’t. Triple H uses a facebuster and tries to eliminate Austin and can’t get him out. Triple H throws out Val and walks into a Stunner and a clothesline over the top rope. Michael Cole keeps reminding us that Vince McMahon is still officially in his match. Considering this is the final four of a Royal Rumble during the biggest boom period in wrestling history, the fans are very quiet. It’s because everyone knows that the finish will be Austin and McMahon so we’re all just waiting for that. We are perilously close to Wrestlemania main eventing D’Lo Brown. It is nice seeing Owen Hart and Stone Cold work together. Owen uses an enziguri and charges Austin in the corner but gets backdropped out. Bossman and D’Lo work together for a moment. Bossman clotheslines out D’Lo but gets a Stunner and dumped out too. It’s down to Stone Cold and Vince McMahon. The first two and the last two. Austin lunges over the table but Vince catches him with some punches. Stone Cold shrugs them off and pulls Vince out, throwing him into the crowd and beating him with punches amongst the people and cracks him with a big chairshot to the head before throwing him back into the ring. Austin just has to throw Vince out and he’s won but he’s too focused on making Vince pay. Vince swings out with a desperation low blow! Austin pretty clearly speaks to Vince in the ring, no doubt telling him what spot is next. Vince swings for a punch but Austin ducks and gives him a Stunner. He takes aim with a diving forearm shot off the middle rope. The fans start booing as the new WWF Champion The Rock comes out. He taunts Austin, drawing him close to the ropes allowing Vince McMahon to come from behind and dump out Stone Cold! Vince McMahon has won the Royal Rumble!
Austin is furious and goes after Vince but The Rock catches him and the pair brawl to the back leaving Vince in the ring. He celebrates as the “No Chance in Hell” PPV theme song plays. Shane and the stooges come out to celebrate with him and they act like he’s the greatest of all time. The fans are in stunned silence, unable to believe what they’ve seen. Michael Cole ruined the original moment as he talked all over the ring announcement but they repeated it. “The winner of the WWF Royal Rumble - Mr. McMahon!” Vince and Shane drink beers with the stooges in the ring to close the PPV.
This wasn’t a good show. The I Quit match was the best thing on it, but that was uncomfortable to watch more than it was enjoyable. The Royal Rumble had no spots or star power and hinged on Stone Cold and Vince McMahon propping up the first and last ten minutes. The entire undercard was just dull matches in front of a nearly silent crowd. This is definitely the weakest PPV I’ve covered so far but it drew an amazing, record breaking buyrate for the company so they were still doing something right. It’s only three weeks until the next PPV, St, Valentine’s Day Massacre so the only way is up from here.
