Monday Night Raw - February 1st, 1993

• No messing around with the commentary team’s hellos this week and right into the opening match which is Native American Tatanka vs. Damien Demento. The fans actually started chanting “we want Flair” during this as news of his leaving the WWF for real had broken through to the fan base. This match is just a showcase for the still undefeated Tatanka who wins with a Samoan drop but seeing as he’s not Samoan I guess it’s just a Drop.
• At Madison Square Garden a few days prior to this, the WWF hosted the “headlock on hunger” charity event which raised $100k for starving people in Somalia. A good cause, I wonder why they’ve never done anything with this charity again since?

• In the ring, Vince McMahon interviews someone he calls “one of the all-time greats”, Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake. Calling him an all-time great is silly now but in 1993 it was probably true, he’s close friends with Hulk Hogan so that always kept him in a job. This is an emotional return as Brutus had been gone for a very long time after smashing his face in during a parasailing accident. It was almost a fatal accident but he reveals here that even with his surgically repaired face, he fully intends on getting back in the ring and returning properly. He tugs at everyone’s heart strings and gets really personal telling us about his mother dying of cancer, his father dying of a heart attack and his wife leaving him for “some barfly” all prior to a girl who was parasailing crashing into his face with her knees, crushing his skull. As he lay in the hospital, he was reaching out for God’s help but it wasn’t God who took his hand - it was Hulk Hogan! That’s the next best thing, surely? The Hulkster has always been his “friend to the end” and was there for Brutus throughout his rehab and recovery. After everything he’s been through, a little bit of pain in the ring won’t make him quit. This all felt very odd - I think it was him randomly talking about his wife leaving him. An inspirational story though and as Vince McMahon put it “The big man upstairs looking after you and Hulk Hogan encouraging you is quite the tag team!” 

• The team of High Energy (that’s “The Rocket” Owen Hart and “The Bird Man” Koko B.Ware) take on the scrub team of “Iron” Mike Sharp and a bald lad who’s name I didn’t catch. I think it might be future ECW performer Big Vito, or maybe he just looks a bit like him. High Energy won and it was so quick I didn’t even catch what the finish was - I don’t think it matters.
• One half of the Natural Disasters, the huge Typhoon faces Doink the Clown. I LOVE Doink’s sinister heel theme song. It’s SO good.  Doink was played by Matt Borne, who was a great wrestler and he shows it off here against the bigger opponent. Doink grapples Typhoon on the mat and ultimately gets the win with a roll up and grabbing the tights for extra leverage. “He gave him a wedgie” says Bartlett. This was Doink's in ring debut!

• Vince McMahon speaks to the host of WWF Mania at the weekends, my boy Todd Pettigill. He says he has an interview with Giant Gonzales this week and he makes a joke about looking like a dwarf next to him which makes Vince break and they have a very genuine looking laugh.

• This show also featured a 10 bell salute and tribute to the recently departed Andre the Giant which even the normally disrespectful New York fans were silent for. I appreciated that. 

• The winner of the 1993 Royal Rumble Yokozuna faces Tony Devito (no idea either) in what is just an exhibition match for the future Wrestlemania main eventer. Jim Duggan joins the commentary team via telephone to talk about his upcoming match with Yokozuna, or Yakazuma as Jim keeps calling him. Vince corrects him and he says “ah whatever, some Jap name” which is massively uncool. A superkick, a leg drop and a Banzai drop gives the big man the victory while Jim Duggan rants about the USA and his call keeps cutting out. I hope Yoko sits on him.

• Vince McMahon has a ringside interview with the WWF Tag Team Champions, Money Incorporated. Ted Dibiase and Irwin R. Schyster mock Brutus Beefcake’s interview earlier, reciting Humpty Dumpty (and flubbing his line, swapping the king’s men and king’s horses) and telling him that if he wants to return to the ring, why not do it against a champion? They flip a coin to decide which of the two of them it will be - the Million Dollar Man wins and so he challenges Brutus first. Their manager, Jimmy Hart comes down to the ring and he tries to talk some sense into them - they’re the tag team champions, they don’t need to be having singles matches and risking injury. Ted calls this recreational and says there’s no chance of either of them getting hurt by wrestling a man who hasn’t been in the ring in three years (his last match was in July 1990) and as they argue, Jimmy tells them they can talk about it backstage.

• The Narcissist Lex Lugar makes his in-ring WWF debut against Jason Night who is one of the “enhancement talents”. Lex actually signed for the WWF back in 1992 and even made an appearance at Wrestlemania 8. He was signed to be part of Vince’s ill-fated body building league, which fit body guy Lugar perfectly especially as he was injured at the time. The WBF went down the toilet and so now he’s all healed up and back as a wrestler. He was a former WCW World Champion so this is a big get for the WWF. As Lex poses in front of a mirror, a very heavy-set Raw girl gets into the ring which infuriates Lugar who I guess wanted one of the skinny, hot ones. Before the match, there’s a video of Mr. Perfect throwing catches with an NFL player and proving how perfect he is by throwing the ball the full length of the field and then running to catch his own pass. Perfect, but the NFL player’s acting wasn’t. Lex wins with a clubbing forearm smash which Night sells as having knocked him out, and he pins him with a pinky which is very disrespectful but good heel shenanigans. He throws him around a little with a giant swing too.

• At the end of the show, Vince says that Raw is pre-empted next week due to the Westminster Dog Show, and so the next Raw is in two weeks and will feature a 16 man battle royal, and Brutus Beefcake’s in-ring return against Ted Dibiase. A low energy end to the episode.

Monday Night Raw - February 15th, 1993

• Raw opens with Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake promising that he’ll prove that hes going to show Ted Dibiase and the world that he’s fully healed and ready to get back in the ring. Meanwhile the Million Dollar Man tells him that he’s going to smash his face all over again and interestingly, Money Inc’s manager Jimmy Hart tells Ted that there’s no need for that, and Ted laughs it off and tells him everything will be fine.

• The commentary team welcome us to the show and hype up tonight’s 16 man battle royal and Vince asks if Barlett will be in the match - he doesn’t want to soil his suit. 
• The opening match is The Steiner Brothers vs. Glen Ruth and Bobby Who, which appears to be a gimmick name they gave him just so Vince and Barlett can go back and forth with “who?” jokes. Macho Man’s having audio issues and sounds like he’s speaking over a megaphone from about a mile away.. Vince keeps confusing Rick for Scott and vice versa too. There’s a lot to distract here, is what I’m saying. The Steiner’s trademark bulldog off the top rope gives Scott and Rick the victory.

• Mean Gene hosts the Wrestlemania report, which I’m sure I’ll get in some form every week from now until Wrestlemania. It’s mostly him shilling ticket sales but the two big bits of news are that The Undertaker will face Giant Gonzales, and Doink the Clown will battle Crush who has been out of action since he was bludgeoned with Doink’s fake arm.

• Yokozuna with his normal entourage of Mr. Fuji and Japanese girls presenting him with flowers takes on a jobber whose name I didn’t catch. It doesn’t matter, Yoko smashes him pretty easily. You’ll recall that two weeks ago they were hyping a match between Yokozona and Hacksaw Jim Duggan - Yoko smashed him too on one of the weekend shows. They showed footage of that later on when Lord Alfred Hayes hosted a “Special Report”. Duggan did at least become the first man to knock Yokozuna off his feet since his debut, which is impressive enough. The fans went NUTS. 

• The story going into this 16 man battle royal is that Giant Gonzales has entered and when he did, the other 15 men tried to pull out. Vince throws in some footage from WWF Superstars where Gonzales demolished three jobbers with chokes, chops and other fairly terrible looking offence. Gonzales is absolutely useless - slow, lumbering and clumsy with all the athletic ability of a chair. In fairness to him, his massive size and weight meant he struggled with knee pain for most of his adult life. 
• The highest profile names in this match are Razon Ramon, Kamala, the undefeated Tatanka and the Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels. After all that hype, Gonzales isn’t in this match! I guess the point was that WWF officials had to remove him from it or no one else would have entered it.

• Two little stories in this match - Kim Chee avoids Kamala as he was his former abusive handler until Kamala’s babyface turn, and Tatanka defeated Shawn Michaels in a non-title match on Superstars this past week so they go after each other. Kim Chee sneakily eliminates Kamala so the Ugandan giant goes after him and throws him out too, chasing him and fighting to the back and through the crowd. After a commercial break they’re fighting up on the balcony of the Manhattan Centre which is a nice spot. Real life besties Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon decide to work together because they’re both heels, when it gets down to the final four and work together against Tito Santana and Tatanka. Tatanka eliminates Shawn Michaels and with it down to the final three, Giant Gonzales appears and beats up Tito and Tatanka, throwing them both over the top rope.

• Vince speculates that Razor snuck out of the ring under the bottom rope, which turns out to be the case and so Razor Ramon technically wins this battle royal.

• In the main event, one half of the WWF Tag Team Champions Ted Dibiase takes on Brutus Beefcake. Vince really pushes the dual narrative that Jimmy Hart is concerned about a Tag Team Champion risking himself in a singles match, but also that he feels sorry for Brutus and wishes him well after his facial reconstruction. Isn’t that nice of him?

• Brutus dominates Ted which brings his Tag Team Championship partner Irwin R. Schyster down to the ring. He hits Brutus with his metal briefcase which causes a disqualification and the Tag Team Champions set about destroying The Barber, beating him up and focusing their attack on his surgically repaired face. Jimmy Hart does his best to talk them out of it - he’s not a monster - but IRS shoves his manager out of the way and hits Brutus right in the face with his metal briefcase. Beefcake flails around while everyone sells it like he might be dead! The WWF Tag Team Champions want to do it again but Jimmy Hart physically stops them this time and they take the hint, leaving and laughing at his misfortune as they go. 

• After the final commercial break, Vince cheerfully confirms that despite being taken to the back on a stretcher, Brutus is up and about and is fine! He’ll probably be on Raw next week, as will Money Inc and maybe - just maybe - will Hulk Hogan! Vince and Macho mentioned the Hulkster multiple times tonight in regards to his friendship with Beefcake so that’s less out of the blue than it seems but still!

Monday Night Raw - February 22nd, 1993

• Raw this week opens with Rob Bartlett who insults wrestling fans, amazed that they can spell. You’re still way too much of an outsider to be cracking jokes like that Robert. The big news is that tonight Hulk Hogan himself will be live on the show. 

• In the opening match, Bam Bam Bigelow takes on Scott Taylor. That’s my boy, the future Scotty 2 Hotty! Bigelow pins up the win in short order with his diving headbutt off the ropes. 
• Earlier today, Vince McMahon sat down with Hulk Hogan and asks whether tonight on Raw he’ll be announcing his return to the ring. Hogan is calm and reserved and says that the Hulkamaniacs are his heroes for standing by him. The future of Hulkamania is so positive, and weirdly discusses how people dig into his past and try to dig up dirt - he’s a human being who’s made mistakes but he’s been targeted by “tabloid terrorism where lots of unkind and untrue stuff has been published. I don’t know exactly what he’s referring to here but I can say for certain that the allegations were true, whatever they were. He famously lied about having done steroids so it’s probably in that vein (no pun intended). He asks his Hulkamaniacs to stand by him, just as they always have and he’s got something special for them on Monday Night Raw.

• Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels and the Beverly Brothers face Tatanka and the Nasty Boys in a six man tag team match. They are working towards a Wrestlemania match between Tatanka and Michaels and I can hear you thinking “what happened to Marty Jannetty and Sensational Sherri after the Royal Rumble?!” Well, Shawn was so upset with Marty for his botches during the match (selling the wrong arm and the finish) that he reported finding him passed out from drugs and/or alcohol to Vince and Marty was fired AGAIN the day after the Rumble PPV. We’ll see Marty again, don’t worry. Vince actually tells us that the Tatanka/Michaels match for Wrestlemania is now official. The crowd chants “Nasty” for Knobbs and Sags, and does a Native American “woo-wah-woo-wah” song for Tatanka. I’m not sure what that style of chanting is called so I apologise if that’s offensive. Bartlett keeps making jokes about wrestling in general and mocking all of the wrestlers and it feels like the kind of jokes that wrestling fans will recognise if they ever watched wrestling with a non-fan who didn’t like it - feels mean spirited. Vince and Randy basically no-sell him this week, barely reacting to his comments and speaking like he isn’t there. Tatanka and the Nasty Boys win when Tatanka once again pins the Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels with a roll up. 

• Outside the arena, Sean Mooney is with the throngs of people trying to get last minute tickets to see Hulk Hogan in person. He speaks to a couple of the fans “I think he’s going to clean house in the World Wrestling Federation and become champion once again” says the most boring young man in New York.

• Crush faces Terrific Terry Taylor. Crush wins with his finisher, which is the Kona Crush - he grabs their head and squeezes until his opponent submits. Not bad.
• After a replay of last week where Money Inc. tried to injure Brutus Beefcase by hitting him in his surgically repaired face with IRS’s briefcase, Vince McMahon brings Hulk Hogan down to the ring. Hogan recaps what did and his horror at seeing his “friend to the end” get smashed in the face last week, he pledges that he is back in the WWF and calls his buddy Brutus “the bionic Barber” Beefcake down to the ring. Both of them thank “the big man upstairs” and Jimmy Hart personally for putting his body at risk to protect Brutus from a second blow. Hogan then brings out “the man who is red and yellow from head to toe”, he and Beefcake’s new manager Jimmy Hart. This is a big face turn for Jimmy who had been working as a heel manager for the better part of a decade by this point.

• Jimmy calls this the greatest day of his life and he’s always dreamed of wearing the red and yellow of the Hulkster. Hogan dubs them “the Mega Maniacs” and Jimmy says that Hogan and Brutus will be the greatest tag team of all time. Hogan tells Jimmy he has to get Dibiase (who he keeps calling the Multi-Million Dollar Man) and IRS either in singles or tag team matches so that the Mega Maniacs can get even for what they tried to do to Brutus. The Hulkster is back and the crowd loves it.