In Your House 5 - Hersheypark Arena, Hersheypark Pennsylvania, December 17th 1995

A cheerful festive opening gives way to Todd Pettengill’s ominous tale - one family is not in the Christmas spirit because the Harts have been torn apart! The focus is on Bret’s sister/Bulldog’s wife Diana “the charisma vacuum” Hart. Things seemed like they’d be civil between brother in laws tonight but that all changed on Raw with a brutal attack by the challenger. 

In the arena Vince welcomes us to the show with the promise that Santa is here! There is indeed a man dressed as Santa out in the stands handing gifts to the fans. Jerry “The King” Lawler also has a special surprise for us tonight but doesn’t give us any hints.

The 1-2-3 Kid and Sycho Sid (w/Ted Dibiase) vs. WWF Intercontinental Champion Razor Ramon and Marty Jannetty

Vince calls Dibiase “the personification of Scrooge McDuck” which is kind of perfect actually. I was surprised during the build up that these two have fully embraced being tag team partners on the hunt for the Tag Team titles rather than two singles wrestlers in a stable. I don’t hate that to be honest as the tag team division has been badly neglected for most of 1995. Razor and Marty seem to have embraced their team too as Razor has ditched his familiar entrance waistcoat for a leather jacket to match Marty’s.

During their entrance the mysterious Goldust is shown sitting in the front row making eyes at Razor Ramon and applauding the Bad Guy. Must be a fan. He has a special seat and his own usher to hand him chocolates and so forth. 

Marty and the Kid start things off and move fast, back and forth off the ropes and bumping hard for each other. Marty comes out on top and tags out to Razor who is excited to hammer on the 1-2-3 Kid but a well timed attack from behind by Sid lets the Kid take control and the Million Dollar Team hammer him in their corner. 

Razor and Sid take each other down with a double clothesline after a short back and forth and then tag out to their partners and let Kid and Marty go back to wrestling on the mat. The Kid comes out on top of that and he and Sid work over Marty with quick tags in and out. THAT is not the story here - Todd Pettengill goes to interview Goldust picture-in-picture and the bizarre one makes it very clear that his interest in Razor Ramon is not just as a fan - he describes how attracted he is to The Bad Guy and speaks in a hushed voice and creeps everyone out including Todd. He hands Pettengill a golden envelope and asks him to deliver it to the Intercontinental Champion for him. I’m sure these hints at homosexuality will be handled very sensitively in 1995 (haha). 

After a long period of working over Marty the Kid finally misses a big dropkick in the corner which allows Marty to tag out. The finish comes out of nowhere with Razor hitting a diving bulldog off the middle rope which is enough to pin Sid. I wonder if that was the planned finish or if there was some mistiming? 

Razor tries to give the Kid the Razor’s Edge after the match but Sid grabs his feet and pulls him out of the ring to safety and the Million Dollar team escapes mostly unharmed but as losers. Not a bad match but not a great one either. 

On the Superstar line the winners and losers of every match are available to talk to fans - I usually don’t mention it because it’s not very interesting - but tonight they have Sunny working and interviewing the wrestlers which is the first sign that the company sees her as more valuable than just being Skip’s manager.

Up next there is a major botch as the ring announcer provides the introduction for Buddy Landel? Who? Vince seems very confused but he’s been on autopilot and just read out what's on his card with no idea what the storyline is for the next match. He’s basically ruined the surprise but I’ll come back to that in a moment.

Jerry Lawler gets in the ring to tell us what HIS big Christmas surprise is - it’s the return of Jeff Jarrett! His first appearance since In Your House 2, I mentioned at the time that he had walked out of the company due to creative differences. Those still aren’t resolved so don’t get too attached to seeing his name again. Lawler has a gift for him - it’s a framed golden CD! With My Baby Tonight went gold by selling 500,000 copies apparently. Double J’s theme song plays endlessly in the background as he monologues about how he’s the greatest wrestler of all time and how he used the WWF become a massive country music star, just like he said he would. There’s no mention of The Roadie or the fact that months ago Vince did drop the information that Double J was lip syncing and it was in fact The Roadie doing the singing. Jeff Jarrett declares himself as the very first participant in the 1996 Royal Rumble and promises to go to Wrestlemania 12 and become the new WWF Champion in Los Angeles. 

Jeff Jarrett joins commentary for the next match and sings his own praises as Dean Douglas makes his entrance. Jarrett doesn’t know who either man is and kind of buries fellow heel Douglas. In truth he was likely told to do so as Douglas was, by this point, very disliked backstage and was on his way out. More on that after the match. Douglas explains that his back injury from Raw is more serious than he thought so he has to step aside BUT has a suitable replacement for Ahmed Johnson. It’s “The Nature Boy” Buddy Landel, which the ring announcer already spoiled! He’s like a younger, thinner, uglier Ric Flair who is dressed like and acts just like the two-time WWF Champion and WCW main eventer. How very lame. Vince says that Douglas is faking and is actually just chickening out and hiding behind the doctors.

Ahmed Johnson vs. Buddy Landel (w/Dean Douglas)

Ahmed hammers Buddy and finishes him off with the Pearl River Plunge in about 30 seconds. He slaps Dean Douglas on the butt with his own little paddle who then limps away from the ring. This wasn’t even a match, this was just an angle.

Amazingly, this is the last time we’ll see Dean Douglas and is the final appearance of Shane Douglas - ever - in the WWF.  I’ve mentioned previously that his dealings with the infamous Klique had rubbed him the wrong way and that was pretty much the end. With Michaels, Hall and Nash pouring poison in Vince’s ear about how much the guy sucked, Douglas' job prospects were non-existent. In very early January Douglas told Vince that he couldn’t wrestle for a while because his back was hurt. Vince didn’t believe him and so insisted he go to the ring and tell the fans that himself, which he did. Vince wasn’t happy Douglas called his bluff and so fired him. That’s the story as Douglas tells it but with all the sour grapes it's hard to know exactly what happened. In Shawn Michaels’ book he didn’t really talk trash about anyone except Douglas who he called a terrible wrestler (“Even The Kid couldn’t have a good match with him and if you can’t have a good match with him then there’s no helping you”). He vowed to never work for Vince McMahon or the WWF/WWE ever again and he never did. 

On the outside, Jerry Lawler interviews Ahmed Johnson (and has to manoeuvre him to get him to stand in the right place for the next spot - not the first or last big botch so far in this segment) and mentions that he’s slated to wrestle Johnson himself soon. He makes jokes about the newcomer’s intelligence again as Double J laughs hysterically. He’s about to attack King but Jarrett smashes his golden CD over Johnson’s back!  They brawl around the ring with Ahmed basically no-selling the attack. Hilariously the mistakes continue as Johnson chases Jarrett…but catches him far too easily and actually runs past him! Jarrett jumps on him to cover the mistake and they have a clumsy skirmish which Double J escapes.

In the back Todd Pettengill interviews Razor Ramon and mentions that he’s defending the Intercontinental title tomorrow night on Raw against Yokozuna. The Bad guy isn’t too worried and says he’s still focused on The Kid and his revenge. Todd hands him the golden envelope that Goldust provided. Razor reads it and, in anger and disgust, crumples and throws it to the ground. I wonder what it said? 

Arkansas Hog Pen match

Henry O. Godwin vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Special Guest referee: Hillbilly Jim

There’s a pen full of pigs, mud and slop at the top of the entrance ramp and Hillbilly Jim who is a throwback to the pre-Wrestlemania era is introduced as the special referee. This is the first time I’ve seen Hillbilly Jim but he was employed by the WWF for years mostly in a backstage and publicity capacity - he showed up at charity and public events a lot all through the New Gen even though he was never on TV. 

Henry enters with a slop bucket and tries to throw it at HHH right away but he uses one of the ringside attendants (long time fans will recognise ring announcer Tony Chimmel) who gets slopped instead! What a mess - I think it got some of the fans in the front row too. 

In the ring they brawl with mostly punches and kicks and H.O.G grabs a handful of slop from his second bucket and rubs it in Hunter’s face. That is gross. 

The fight continues and there isn’t much to say so far. They leave the ring and brawl up the ramp with Godwin even carrying Triple H part of the way to speed things up. He takes a hard bump on the concrete entrance way which is such a waste in a match like this. The way to win this match? Throw your opponent into the hog pen. They whip each other into the metal gate which buckles and seems to make some nasty gashes in Helmsley’s bare back. He tries a Pedigree but is backdropped up, landing on the wooden fence. He kicks Godwin off and comes off the fence with a diving elbow drop - the one nice spot so far. They fight back to the ring and both collapse after a corner crash. They’re selling like they’re both exhausted even though we’re only five minutes deep. Jerry Lawler empties his joke book to make fun of the pig farmer and none of them are funny enough for me to type out. Godwin hits the Slop Drop but pinfalls don’t count and he has to get him back up the ramp to the hog pen. Hunter is still undefeated.

They fight back up the ramp and HHH takes another Slop Drop on the floor next to the hog pen. Henry charges but Hunter back drops him up and over the fence! Triple H wins the match and remains undefeated. Henry is a sore loser and grabs Triple H and gorilla slams him in the middle of the hog pen. This made me a bit queasy as we get a good look at the gash on his back - can’t be good landing a bleeding wound in the wet mud and what by now is I assume a healthy amount of pig shit. 

As Godwin and Hillbilly Jim celebrate and dance together Hunter flails and slips and falls in the mud over and over for comedy purposes. A flying bottle of water from the crowd hit him in the face and in the background I noted a couple of security guards running off to get the fan responsible. That’s not cool. This match was pretty much nothing and I don’t particularly enjoy this kind of gross out, silly comedy BUT both guys worked their characters well and I give Helmsley lots of credit for committing to the bit and letting himself look silly to sell it. 

Diesel vs. Owen Hart (w/Jim Cornette)

There is a video package for this match - a good one too, as the WWF’s production and ability to throw these videos together gets better month by month - but it focuses more on Diesel’s change in attitude since losing the WWF title. I do like it a lot. He’s not a heel and he’s not a face. He’s angry and that makes him feel real. 

Diesel hasn’t had a lot of good matches in 1995, especially on PPV, but the ones he has had were with smaller and much more gifted wrestlers like Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels and Jeff Jarrett so hopefully this should be a good one. Owen is great.

Big Daddy Cool is full steam ahead and hammers Owen in the corner but a well-timed kick to the knee allows the 1994 King of the Ring to focus on Diesel’s leg. On the mat he drops elbows on the knee and kicks at the hamstring when Diesel powers to his feet. An enziguri kick to the back of the head drops Diesel again and Owen continues the focus on his leg. It doesn’t last long and Diesel kicks Owen off into the corner followed by a snake eyes and a hangman on the ropes. He drops Owen with a Jackknife powerbomb but doesn’t go for the cover and sets up a second powerbomb. He shoves the referee for trying to stop him and so Owen wins by disqualification but Diesel drops him with a second Jackknife so its clear who looks like a winner. He pantomimes the WWF title belt around his waist and to everyone it’s clear that his focus is on getting the WWF title back but Vince keeps trying to tell us that he did it for Shawn Michaels.

After a brief promo for the Superstar line Santa Claus and Savio Vega are at ringside handing out presents from Santa’s sack. In the ring, Ted Dibiase comes back out and the Million Dollar Man wants to make a point - he is here to prove that EVERYBODY has a price. Vince assumes this means that Savio has sold out but Vega cuts a promo about how he’ll never sell out and how he does believe in Santa. Jerry Lawler keeps making fun of Savio’s grasp of English and accent which just feels very racist. It wasn’t Savio who sold out - it’s Santa! He attacks Savio and he and the Million Dollar Man put the boots to him. Savio fights back and removes Santa’s beat and wig so that we know it's not the REAL Santa - it’s actually the man lots of fans will recognise as ECW and later WWE’s Balls Mahoney. Dumb segment, and an evil Santa is a gimmick which can’t last long.

Casket match

The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) vs. King Mabel (w/Sir Mo)

This match gets a video package too which I’m grateful for because it means you can all join me in hearing King Mabel claim to be the first man to pin The Undertaker AND the first man to put him on the shelf with an injury. Neither of those things is true but I guess the people who have pinned or injured him are no longer with the WWF so they might as well give him the heat.

Undertaker must have had more casket matches in 1995 than he has every other year before this put together. This isn’t even his first one on PPV this year. They want to protect both men and have someone lose without being pinned which makes sense but, as we’ll find out very soon, Mabel is another name on this show who won’t be around for much longer. 

Mabel is the current holder of “the remnants of the urn” which honestly i thought they’d forgotten all about after Summerslam and his feud with Kama. I’ve commented before on how awesome I think Undertaker’s protective mask looks.

The match starts out with a simple story - Mabel hits Undertaker, or slams him and Undertaker sits up like an unkillable monster and the crowd goes wild. It’s definitely effective. He avoids a splash off the middle rope but a distraction from Sir Mo leads to a belly to belly suplex and leg drop which finally keeps Undertaker down. A big splash later and Vince is talking like this match is over and Undertaker will never return this time. That’s a tad dramatic. Mo drags Undertaker out of the ring and tries to put Mabel into the casket himself - maybe he has places to be. Undertaker is dumped into the casket and it is clearly over. The lid could have been easily closed but Mabel spends too long posing and taking his time to put his crown on so Undertaker recovers and blocks it from shutting. That was a weird spot.

Undertaker fights back with punches and chokeslams the 500lbs Mabel, rolling him into the casket. Sir Mo tries to help but he’s also beaten up and chokeslammed. He rolls him into the casket and with both members of Men on a Mission in the casket and the remnants of the urn in hand The Undertaker slams the lid shut to win the match officially. He has what’s left of the urn back in his possession and hopefully Paul Bearer turns it back into an actual urn and restores the Deadman to full power rather than the gaudy necklace it's been for the past year. 

As he celebrates with Paul Bearer the Undertaker takes a moment to pantomime a championship belt around his waist. Brother Love mentioned on Raw that everyone was coming for Bret Hart including The Undertaker and it appears he was right on the money. The Undertaker wants to be WWF Champion. 

Before the main event, Jim Ross recaps the events of Summerslam 1992. These have been talked about a LOT in the build up to this PPV specifically that the Bulldog defeated Bret for the Intercontinental title. He’s joined by Bulldog, Diana and Jim Cornette. JC cuts a promo about how Bret has been jealous of Bulldog since the day he met him - he took his fans, he took his sister, he took his parents' love and he has NEVER beaten Bulldog (which is true). JR asks Diana if she has mixed emotions - no she does not. She is firmly in her husband's corner. Bulldog ends by saying that the WWF title belt belongs around his waist.

Elsewhere Todd Pettengill interviews Bret. He’s a lot less fired up but is just as confident. Everyone wants to be champion but he’s here to stop them in their tracks. He is going to avenge his loss in 1992 tonight with a win over the Bulldog. 

WWF Championship

Bret Hart © vs. The British Bulldog (w/Jim Cornette and Diana Smith)

These two circle each other and start out slowly, grappling and trying to out manoeuvre each other. It descends into mat wrestling which Bulldog comes out on top of. Nice of Bret to let Bulldog control the match like that. The action is slow with long chin locks on the mat leading to Bret battling to his feet only to be put back down with a knee to the gut or clothesline and then right back to the chin lock. The action isn’t bad but it is maybe a little slow. Bret tries to shove Bulldog off but he holds on tight to the headlock and grinds him down to the mat. 

More interesting than the action in the ring is the news from Vince McMahon on commentary that at the Royal Rumble, the WWF Champion after this match will defend the title against The Undertaker who has been named the number one contender by Gorilla Monsoon. Vince speculates that Diesel will be very unhappy to hear that news which is a nice hint at future storylines to come. Bret finally fights to his feet and sends Bulldog crashing into the corner and finally builds a little momentum of his own with a really nice looking piledriver for a near fall.

Bret goes into his familiar finishing routine with the Russian legsweep and pinpoint elbow off the ropes but then deviates and lifts Bulldog to the top rope for a superplex. It backfires when Bulldog shoves him off and Bret lands groin-first on the top rope and topples to the outside of the ring. 

The fans chanted “ECW” earlier when the long chinlocks were dragging the match down and now as Bulldog follows out to fight Bret on the outside some fans in the front row start chanting “table”. He’s driven into the ringpost instead and comes up bleeding heavily! It leaves a massive puddle on the mats at ringside and for the second month in a row Bret Hart injects a little bit of un-New Gen violence into his WWF title match. Bulldog spikes him with a piledriver in the middle of the ring but Bret kicks out, as he does after an impressive delayed vertical suplex. The camera man gets obsessed with showing Diana Hart at ringside and stays zoomed in on her face. Bulldog hammers Bret with a big Gorilla press and Diana actually starts to look concerned for her bleeding brother - I don’t think she was supposed to, but she’s a terrible actress and that’s just reality intruding on the storyline. She’s actually worried for her brother’s health.

The story of the match becomes clear as Bulldog shows no mercy for the bleeding Hitman and pins after every big move with Bret desperately trying to fight back and being shut down each time. He gets a close nearfall with a German suplex and then Bulldog is thrown out of the ring, followed by a dive over the top rope. We get a good look at Bret who is soaked in blood. His attempt to jump onto Bulldog from the apron is caught and he’s drilled on the outside of the ring with a running powerslam. It’s over - that’s Bulldog’s finisher and he hit it outside the ring. He can’t win the title by count out but he can definitely end this match. He lifts the mats at ringside and tries to suplex Bret onto the exposed concrete floor - a brutal spot - but Bret counters it into the security wall to stay in the match. This is great stuff.

Bret pours it on with a backbreaker and then a great looking superplex but Bulldog kicks out. They reverse each other into the corner and trade roll ups just like Summerslam 1992 but both kick out and then after a crash in the corner Bret rolls up Bulldog and that gets the three count! Bret collapses in the ring and Bulldog takes the loss on the chin, rolling out of the ring and limping directly to the back with his wife and manager in tow.

That was a great match and the increase in violence levels with the blood and fighting on the outside were a welcome addition. Bret retains the title and moves onto the Royal Rumble. Speaking of which, Vince throws to backstage where Todd Pettengill interviews Paul Bearer and The Undertaker. Bearer says that the fans have been waiting to see Undertaker get a title match for years (true) but it’s Diesel who gets the last word - he barges in and screams about how he should be getting the next title shot. Diesel gets in Undertaker’s face and says people keep dodging him. The Deadman says that he doesn’t dodge anyone and the PPV ends after an uncomfortably long staredown between the two near 7 footers.