Monday Night Raw - July 5th, 1993

  • Raw opens with a lengthy recap of the July 4th Stars and Stripes Challenge. It was an hour long event where a long parade of American sports people and WWF Superstars tried, in vain, to bodyslam the 568lbs WWF Champion Yokozuna. The winner also got a brand new pickup truck, which doesn’t feel as good. The fans were rabid for all of this, chanting USA and cheering on their sports heroes. Some of them did better than others and a couple gave up without even trying which got boos. The fact is that the setting of all of this had the fans chanting Hogan, assuming as most of us would have that this would mark Hulk Hogan’s return to set up his rematch with Yokozuna at Summerslam. That was the plan when this was all set up but Hogan sadly won’t be returning to the WWF any time soon and so someone else had to take the spot.
  • Macho Man tried but failed, and Bret Hart - the actual top babyface in the company - couldn’t bodyslam him and being Canadian wouldn’t be a good fit for this story either. It shocked everyone when of all people, the villainous Narcissist Lex Lugar, arrived via helicopter. On America’s birthday, he stepped up and turned babyface. “He was always proud of himself but we found out he was more proud of America!” ss Vince’s explanation. He shoved Heenan aside and dressed in red white and blue, bodyslammed Yokozuna! The fans were off their game, booing the heel and also expecting Hogan but Todd Pettengill did a good job of getting the fans to cheer for him anyway. Lex called Yoko a cancer and Mr. Fuji a bloodsucking leech and, with the fans behind him (just about), he did indeed bodyslam the WWF Champion! Kind of, he didn’t get him all the way up but considering his size, it was acceptable. The fans went nuts for the slam and just like that, Lex Lugar is now a babyface and is America’s last hope at stopping the mighty Japanese Yokozuna. Lex has challenged Yokozuna to a WWF Championship match, but Mr. Fuji has refused. We’ll see how that shakes out.
  • So with a third of the show taken up by that recap, the first match is Blake Beverly (who has shaved his moustache so I really can’t tell him and Beau apart) vs. the 1-2-3 Kid. He has his own theme music now. The fans are behind the Kid. He outruns Blake and shows off some of what made him famous as X-Pac with big spinning kicks. Blake slows things down and dominates with a slam to the outside and some back breakers and slams in the ring. Kid comes back with a big dive to the outside and this turned into a good match, going back and forth with big moves. A splash off the top rope gives the 1-2-3 Kid a clean victory. Great performance.
  • There’s a video promoting the arrival of Men on a Mission - Mo, Oscar and Mabel. I’ll talk a lot more about them when they actually debut of course
  • Bam Bam Bigelow, accompanied by his main squeeze Luna Vachon, takes on Jumping Joey Maggs. This is a VERY quick victory for Bam Bam, and the point here is to make him look good but also hammer home this “love story” between Bam Bam and Luna. Bigelow is still feuding with Tatanka apparently. Must be mostly on the weekend shows.
  • The Undertaker takes on Samu of the Headshrinkers. This is an important moment historically as for the first time, the arena lights drop to pitch darkness for Undertaker’s entrance. The commentators sell it huge with Heenan hiding under the announce desk. Great stuff. This match’s main story is that Paul Bearer is still missing after Mr. Hughes hit him a couple of weeks ago but also, in preparation for his match with the huge Giant Gonzales, Undertaker is wrestling a lot quicker and Macho pops huge for him doing a drop down and then leapfrog combo as well as throwing a dropkick at Samu. The Headshrinker gets pumped up by Afa and controls the match for a bit and I really thought this would be a one-sided showcase for the Undertaker but Samu has him defeated after a top rope headbutt. He stupidly doesn’t go for a cover and when he tries for a second, Undertaker sit’s up to avoid it and finishes him off with a chokeslam and a Tombstone to win this match. 
  • Vince interviews Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji at ringside. Fuji is furious and says that Lex cheated, hitting Yoko with his forearm first and says that the slam wasn’t a real slam - it was a hip toss, which would be even more impressive if it was true! Fuji says that his Yokozuna can beat anyone. Crush comes out and, with Vince’s help, forces him to mean that literally and accept Crush’s challenge to a WWF Championship match next week on Raw. 
  • In the main event, Mr. Perfect takes on this week’s contender for the worst looking wrestler I’ve ever seen. A Perfect-plex later and he’s finished. Raw concludes with the promotion for next week’s show - a WWF title match with Crush, and a replay of Lex Lugar bodyslamming Yokozuna. 

Monday Night Raw - July 12th, 1993

  • Raw opens with a WWF Championship match. The 568lbs Yokozuna defends against Crush. The New York fans are frantic with USA chants and actually sing the American national anthem! Fans in 1993 were easy to please. Yokozuna dominates this match and after a poke in the ribs from Mr. Fuji’s Japanese flag, Yokozuna crushes Crush (pun fully intended) with a Banzai drop to retain the WWF Championship.
  • From there, it gets chaotic as Yokozuna continues to hammer Crush with Banzai drops. He hits four as various WWF Superstars try to stop him, including Tatanka. Macho Man, Crush’s buddy, has had enough and gets off commentary as Vince screams that President Jack Tunney made Randy promise to not get involved in anything physically. He grabs a chair and threatens Yokozuna, protecting Crush until he’s finally loaded onto a stretcher and taken to the back. Heenan and Macho were pretty great for the rest of the show as Bobby would continually launch into his heel shtick, talking about how no one should have friends and that Crush got what he deserved and Macho would snap at him about it and make it clear that he was crossing a line talking about his friend like that. It felt dramatic and like a serious situation with Crush’s injuries, while Heenan continued to be entertaining as hell. 
  • The Headshrinkers take on a pair of no names. The fans chant for Afa at ringside which causes Samu to briefly break character and have a laugh about it. A big assisted splash from the top rope gives them the victory. 
  • There’s a dramatic movie trailer style commercial for an Intercontinental title match next week - Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty one more time. Quite cool.
  • The still undefeated Tatanka faces The Brooklyn Brawler. Guess who wins? A Papoose to Go puts down the Brawler.
  • Earlier today, the WWF cameras chatted to some people outside the arena. It’s mostly kids and they all say the same thing - Lex Lugar is an American Hero and deserves a shot at the WWF title no matter what Yokozuna says.
  • Mr. Hughes takes on Tony Devito. I’ve just clicked that Tony Devito is future WWE creative team member and on screen comedy character Big Dick Johnson. Hughes squashes Tony but the important part is that a black wreath is delivered to ringside during the match. Hughes checks afterwards - it does have a card, and it’s from The Undertaker. He kicks the wreath to pieces. 
  • In the special Summerslam report there’s two important bits of news - the first match is booked for the PPV, King of the Ring Bret “Hitman” Hart vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler. The other is that starting this weekend, Lex Lugar has a very special campaign he wants to tell us all about. That’s the Lex Express tour all across the United States, which I’ll talk about a great deal more before and at Summerslam.
  • The same Men on a Mission video from last week is shown. Vince McMahon continually refers to the group as MOM, which isn’t half as good. I guess everyone is a little afraid of their MOM? They make their in-ring debut next week so I’ll introduce them properly there.
  • The radioactive Adam Bomb takes on Scott Amati. He looks like a little boy. I’m not convinced Johnny Polo adds anything to this guy, and he certainly doesn’t match his gimmick in the slightest. What a weird pairing. Polo has tons of charisma but it’s not a patch on his awesome work as Raven later in his career. Bomb shows off his spooky green contact lenses and bright red tongue before the match and he wins with the Atom Smasher powerbomb. 

Monday Night Raw - July 19th, 1993

  • Over the weekend, Lex Lugar began the Lex Express “call to action” campaign, which is basically him driving all over America to public events in order to raise fan support. See, he wants a WWF Championship match and this is his attempt to convince WWF President Jack Tunney it’s what the people want. That makes sense, but it’s also a very real attempt by Vince to make Lex the new Hulk Hogan. They’ve totally rebranded him as a humble, fan loving patriot. Lex is no longer the Narcissist, he’s a man of the people! 
  • Shawn Michaels defends the Intercontinental title against Marty Jannetty. Before the match there’s a quick recap to remind us that Marty beat Shawn for the title right here on Raw 9 weeks ago. He does have big Diesel with him in his corner this time however so it’s a bit different. Marty hits a superkick and pins Shawn, seemingly winning the title again but HBK’s foot was on the bottom rope. Marty’s music plays and he celebrates as we go to commercial but coming back the match has been restarted. After more heated back and forth, both men seem to be very evenly matched. Shawn is knocked to the outside and it looks like Diesel is trying to just carry his buddy to the back but the referee puts a stop to that and after another commercial break they’re back in the ring and continuing. It picks up pace again and again going into a flurry of nearfalls from a crossbody off the ropes and a hurricanrana and with Shawn all tied up in the ropes this is Marty’s match to lose. Which he does - he takes a rough tumble up and over the top rope and lands hard. Diesel scoops him up and puts him back into the ring and Shawn crawls into an easy pin and the victory in a very good match which ran for almost half the length of this entire episode! 
  • Vince McMahon interviews Money Inc in the ring. The last time we heard from them, they were talking about wanting a Tag Team Championship rematch. That is now set for the following week on WWF Superstars. Dibiase then changes the subject to Razor Ramon, calling him a loser. He lost to the 1-2-3 Kid and then had his $10,000 stolen - what a loser! Razor then comes down to ring to respond. The Million Dollar Man says that they can offer him a job - some domestic work cleaning his toilets and cleaning their cars. He’s not impressed. The fans get behind Ramon a little as he tells them to go to hell. Dibiase laughs at him - EVERYBODY’s got a price, including him. He slaps Razor with some cash and that turns it physical as he attacks Ted and IRS then attacks him in turn. The Bad Guy fights them both off and throws them out of the ring and then leaves. Dibiase is furious and promises McMahon and everyone else that he’s going to make Ramon pay. He’s going to embarrass him. He challenges the 1-2-3 Kid to a match so that he can wipe the mat with him and show everyone how much better he is than Razor Ramon! 
  • The in-ring debut of Men on a Mission. The over 400lbs Mabel (more famous for his later career as Viscera) and the 350lbs Mo (who looks about 25 years older than he is because of the white hair and beard) led to the ring by their manager, rapper Oscar. He does a good job of getting the crowd waving their arms to the music and getting the crowd to chant Men on a Mission for his boys. It’s a fun gimmick but very dated. It would work better if either Mabel or Mo were better wrestlers! They win when the big Mabel splashes the jobber to pick up the win. 
  • This week’s Summerslam Report adds a second match to the card - The Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzales in a Rest and Peace match. Only The Undertaker knows the rules, which doesn’t seem fair. Mean Gene also says that this coming weekend, President Jack Tunney will give his ruling on whether Lex Lugar gets a WWF Championship match at Summerslam. That leads neatly into a video package about Lex Lugar’s Lex Express tour the previous week. I’ll get into some of the behind the scenes and real story of this tour at Summerslam but for now it’s just kind of a hilarious oddity with an until-recently-heel wrestler going all over America almost literally begging fans to support him. I will say his hair looks MUCH better short and kind of slicked opposed to the massive bushy mullet he had until the King of the Ring. It is still a mullet though because it was 1993. 
  • The disgusting Bastion Booger faces Scott Depres. The commentators spend this whole match talking about the repulsive smell emanating from Booger. He throws his weight around and wins this by basically sitting on Depres. Even his ring gear is gross and hard to look at. 
  • Last week there was a cool movie trailer style commercial for the Intercontinental title match earlier and this week there’s the same thing for a King of the Ring finals rematch between Bret “Hitman” Hart and Bam Bam Bigelow. Promoting what’s on your show next week isn’t a bad idea - crazy it took them since January to figure it out. 
  • In the main event segment, Jerry “The King” Lawler hosts the King’s Court with special guest Tiny Tim. I have absolutely no idea who this is, but a quick google tells me that he’s a singer who was famous in the 1960s. Man the WWF was really grabbing headlines in 1993 wasn’t it? He died in 1996. Lawler insults him about everything from his Mickey Mouse suit to his high pitched falsetto voice to his career being dead. He plugs his current gig which was a local radio show at the time. Jesus Christ. Lawler does his best to get Tiny Tim to insult him - he’s not a Burger King, he’s the Dairy Queen. Jerry smashes up Tiny Tim’s cherished ukulele, which Heenan loves. Tiny Tim really hams it up pretending to cry over the smashed instrument. This was all extremely weird. 
  • In the main event, the 1-2-3 Kid takes on Chris Duffy. The Kid has really gone up in the world - he has theme music and is now on the Superstar side of the jobber squash match! Will he accept the Million Dollar Man’s challenge from earlier tonight? According to Vince, he already has. Alright then. Money Inc come down to the entrance aisle to watch this match and from the other side of the ring, Razor Ramon comes through the crowd too. 1-2-3 dropkicks Duffy in the corner and then comes off the top rope with a diving leg drop across the back of the head which gives him a victory. Money Inc don’t look impressed, and Razor looks on like he might be. He has to leave through the crowd in the opposite corner not wanting to walk past either Dibiase and IRS or Razor Ramon. Smart. With him gone, they start making moves towards each other and a team of referees led by Pat Patterson arrive just in time to stand between them and block the fight. 
  • After the final commercial break there’s a lovely little moment as multiple times during the show a young boy dressed as Macho Man was shown in the front row. For the closing comments, Macho went and got the kid and posed with him. Oo Yeah. 

Monday Night Raw - July 26th, 1993

  • This week’s Raw opens with a legit jumpscare! Doink the Clown warns “Macho Boy” not to interfere in his matches ever again but if he’s a good boy, he’ll have a surprise for him here tonight. I love Doink but Macho Man should be a main eventer, not feuding with the evil Clown and on commentary. In the arena, Vince warns Macho Man to heed Doink’s words but Randy isn’t worried - he tells Doink to bring it on.
  • The opening match is Bam Bam Bigelow (with his main squeeze, Luna Vachon) taking on Bret Hart. Vince makes special note that Bret’s elderly parents Stu and Helen Hart are in the balcony of the Manhattan Centre to cheer on their son. Given how successful Bret is, it’s probably fair to assume he’s their favourite but they do have eight sons and four daughters. Owen was my favourite, personally. If you have any doubt that Bret is beloved, there’s a girl in the front row who looks about 20 years old, literally weeping with joy at seeing him in person. Damn. Bret makes a couple of rare botches in this match, going for a baseball slide and getting stuck on the mat, and coming off the top rope with…something, but he lands awkwardly selling his knee and Bam Bam has to just no-sell the previous move and pick up the slack. This is better than their King of the Ring match and as Bret goes to lock in the Sharpshooter, Jerry Lawler appears in the crowd. He approaches Bret’s mum and dad and rips on Stu and Helen (mostly for their age and how little sense they make when they talk because they seem about 90 years old) which obviously distracts Bret and leads to him getting beat up by Bam Bam for a while. After Bret finally gets some separation with a DDT, he leaves the ring to pursue Lawler, losing the match via count out. The King has escaped before Bret is able to get to him. Lawler had some good lines when he was making fun of Stu and Helen but I’ll save those for Summerslam. The WWF cameras follow Bret through the corridors of the Manhattan Centre for a bit while he looks for Lawler before he goes back to hug his mum, and shake his dad’s hand (can’t imagine Stu was a very affectionate guy).
  • During this week’s Summerslam Report, Mean Gene confirms that Lex Lugar’s WWF Championship match at Summerslam is now official, and that President Tunney has insisted that Lex wear a padded elbow pad so that he can’t use his metal plated forearm.
  • Mr. Hughes vs. another no-name. The commentators really hype this guy up - no doubt that he’ll be at ringside for Undertaker’s match at Summerslam, and he STILL has the Deadman’s urn. During this match a black wreath is delivered to ringside again from the Undertaker. All this hype for Hughes vs. Undertaker doesn’t go anywhere - he won’t be around for much longer which is a good thing because he is absolutely dreadful. I do try to be positive during these shows but My God he is the shits. He destroys the wreath again after he wins.
  • There’s a video promoting the Wrestlemania: The Album launch party. It was too short to bother capturing. The best song on that album is The Undertaker’s The Man in Black, in my oh so humble opinion. The Wrestlemania song is on there too which I also love. The song that’s not featured is “I’ll be your Hero”, an original song that was used for Lex Lugar’s Call to Action but due to rights issues seems to be missing from these shows. I’ll talk about that at Summerslam too.
  • The Smoking Gunns take on Glenn Ruth (Headbanger Thrasher) and Duane Gill (Gillberg). It’s a showcase victory for the Gunns who finish this with a piledriver on Glenn Ruth.
  • There’s a video promoting the arrival of Helsinki Finland’s Ludwig Borga. He seems to have made his debut previously as there’s a ton of footage of matches and promos from WWF Superstars. He’s another anti-American heel (and doesn’t last long)
  • Here’s another video. It’s an interview with the number one contender for the WWF Championship, Lex Lugar. He is hardly dripping with charisma. It’s such a dramatic 180 from the Narcissist. His talk about tough questions comes up later on as Vince promotes a follow up interview on the following All American Wrestling where Lex will discuss being expelled from school, and drug use in sports specifically steroids. That feels like a deliberate shot at Hulk Hogan who by now had officially left the company and made it clear he wouldn’t be returning any time soon. 
  • Doink the Clown takes on pot-bellied jobber Phil Apollo. He shoots a dirty look at Macho Man before the match as Bobby Heenan and Macho debate whether Doink is actually Mean Gene Okerlund, or Todd Pettengill. The giant butt-splash off the top rope gives Doink the win. He grabs the mic and dares Macho Man to get in the ring with him, before going out to confront him himself. He did promise Randy Savage a big surprise tonight. Doink challenges Macho Man to a one on one match. Macho clearly wants to accept the challenge but Vince tries to talk him down and end the show. Doink keeps him distracted as a second Doink appears in the ring and a THIRD Doink appears up in the balcony of the arena! All three have a good laugh and Macho Man accepts the challenge for next week - he says he has some surprises of his own!