Raw is War - April 3rd, 2000

Here’s the same recap of Wrestlemania that closed the Wrestlemania article itself, just to make sure we’re all caught up;

The Rock vs. A McMahon

The night after Wrestlemania being a huge episode of Raw is a modern day invention. In truth, every episode of Raw was huge back in the day (mostly). This one opens up with Shane McMahon. JR says that hopefully we’ll find out where the McMahon Family stands and why Vince turned on The Rock. It definitely needs some explanation as currently it makes no sense. Shane apologises to his dad, and says he’s so proud of what his dad did last night. He says he’ll always love his dad, and tonight he’s going to continue what his dad started by challenging The Rock to a match. He’s drowned out by “asshole” chants. He calls The Rock out for an answer. Instead it's the WWF Champion Triple H and his wife, the WWF women’s champion Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley who come out. After whining about how much pain she’s in after The Rock gave her a Rock Bottom and a People’s Elbow last night at Wrestlemania. Triple H fires up - he wants The Rock tonight (though not for the title). He and Shane seem to argue over which of them gets to fight The Rock tonight. Vince McMahon then comes down to the ring and, with a big smile, embraces his daughter Stephanie which draws loud boos from the live crowd. He and Triple H then shake hands - a sight we thought we’d never see a few months ago - before finally embracing his son Shane as well. The McMahon family are seemingly healed. Vince then challenges The Rock tonight too. He teases explaining his actions last night, but then says he just doesn’t want to. Which I think is all we’re going to get - he can’t explain it because it doesn’t make sense. He then heels out on the crowd and calls them all just as vain and fake as The Rock. Vince goes on for a bit, berating the crowd. It was like they’re worried people will be too used to cheering him now and they want to make sure we all remember he’s a heel. We get it. We get it. He ends by saying that which ever the three of them faces The Rock tonight, they’ll drive him out of the WWF and to a better suited career - waiting tables.

Backstage, Stephanie - who is back to being daddy’s little girl - pleads with her dad to let Triple H fight The Rock tonight. Vince says he’ll think about it and they are nauseating together. Later, Shane goes to see his dad and pleads his own case - he should be the one fighting The Rock! Vince says he’ll figure it out. We can all see where this is going right?

Backstage, Vince, Shane and Triple H draw straws and the short straw fights The Rock tonight. They all draw and it’s Shane who has the shortest so it’ll be him who fights The Rock. He suddenly seems reluctant and it appears that Vince and Triple H outsmarted Shane. They were all full of false bravado and none of them wanted to fight The Rock. In different segments, Triple H gives Shane some terrible advice for wrestling The Rock, and Vince vaguely promises that he’s “got his back”. 

Kevin Kelly interviews The Rock. He’s shifted to the more translucent shades so we can see his eyes now. He says that last night Vince McMahon undid every great thing he’s ever done because last night when he hit The Rock with a steel chair he made the biggest mistake of his life. As sure as he’s going to kick Shane McMahon’s ass tonight, and as sure as he Rock Bottomed “that slut Stephanie” last night at Wrestlemania it is certain that he is going to be the WWF Champion. 

Shane McMahon enters first for the main event and in my favourite of Shane’s gimmicks, his ring attire is a modified version of his opponents t-shirt. Layeth the Smacketh Down. He even imitates The Rock climbing onto the top rope and “smelling what we’re cooking”. Vince McMahon then enters and has words with both the referee and ring announcer Lillian Garcia. The Rock enters and sprints to the ring. Shane quickly nails and The Rock grabs Vince and pulls his jacket off as he escapes the ring. The Rock is all business and Shane sprints up the ramp only to be caught by The Rock. Triple H is laying in wait and hits Rocky with big punches and runs him into the metal staging before fighting him back down to the ring. Vince keeps the referee distracted so that Triple H can do plenty of damage before throwing The Rock into the ring for the match to properly begin. With Vince, Steph and Triple H at ringside all taking cheap shots at The Rock and taking turns distracting the referee for each other, Shane has control of the match. The Rock weathers Shane’s punches but hits a spinebuster. Vince stops him from the People’s Elbow but with the referee being knocked down by an overzealous Rock, Triple H can Pedigree him and pull Shane into a pin. The referee revives but The Rock kicks out. The fans are electric for this. Triple H distracts the ref and Vince tries to hit him with the title belt but Rocky fights them both off. Triple H finally jumps The Rock right in front of the referee but weirdly there’s no bell to signify a disqualification. The referee continually gets in the way and no-sells Triple H shoving him down. Three guesses which referee it is. The Rock hits a Rock Bottom on Triple H and pins him and Earl Hebner counts to three. On a man who isn’t in the match. That doesn’t make any sense at ALL. The Rock celebrates with the title belt to end the show.

The Big Show goes “Hollywood”

Backstage, Shane McMahon wishes The Big Show well but the point seems to be that he’s no longer managing Show, but they are still friends. Big Show has a massive gear change and says that he’s now focused on having some fun and “going Hollywood”. Really, this just denotes that he’s no longer a main eventer.

The Big Show enters to his song from the Aggression CD. I said it last week too but I really like this song! He’s slated to face Rikishi. He has Grandmaster Sexay and Scotty 2 Hotty with him. As the match continues we see Big Show’s new fun loving attitude in action as he moonwalks and then tries Scotty’s Worm (which gets a big crowd reaction) but misses. Rikishi rallies and gets Show down in the corner and gives him a Stink Face. In what looked like a botch, Grandmaster Sexay hit Show in front of the referee so he was forced to disqualify Rikishi. Scotty gets in the ring and gives Big Show the real Worm. This was all a bit weird and messy but the point is that Show wants to dance and have fun now. He watches on from the top of the ramp and as Rikishi and Too Cool do their victory dance, Show looks like he’s having an idea. 

The Big Show heads back down to the ring and says that he’s always been known as a monster and a great athlete but there’s so much more to him than that. He asks if everyone saw him on Saturday Night Live and if they did they know he’s funny. He’s entertaining. He says sometimes he feels like fighting, sometimes he feels like relaxing and sometimes he feels like dancing. He asks for the “guys in the truck” to play the music and they put on Rikishi and Too Cool’s theme song so that he can do a very, very poor version of their victory dance. The fans do get into and start chanting “Go Big Show! Go Big Show!” so that’s something. Backstage, Grandmaster Sexay makes fun of The Big Show’s bad dancing and laughs at how terrible he was. Scotty says his dancing wasn’t that bad, but mocks his attempt at the Worm. Later, Show goes to see Grandmaster and sincerely asks if his dancing was that bad. He says that it was, so Show smashes him through a table in the locker room before stealing his hat and glasses and heading off for a meeting with his agent.

Latino Heat

Chyna enters first to accompany her friend Chris Jericho to the ring - he defends his newly won European Championship against one quarter of the Radicals, Eddie Guerrero. Chyna pinned Eddie to win the six person tag last night too despite his many claims that she wanted him and simply could not resist his Latino Heat. Suspiciously, Eddie doesn’t have any of his fellow Radicals with him, but before the match hops on the mic to once again offer up his Latino Heat to Chyna. That’s the real reason she’s at ringside! But he has to focus on winning his first WWF title, and make all his ancestors in Europe proud before speaking some Spanish. Eddie is the best, which isn’t news but is always worth saying. This is a good match, and with the referee down Y2J hits a double powerbomb and the Lionsault but there’s no referee to count. Chyna gets in and counts a fast three and raises Jericho’s arm before turning on him! A low kick and a stiff DDT before dragging Eddie into the pin! She wakes up the referee and he counts Eddie to victory. Eddie Guerrero is the new European Champion! Eddie was right - Chyna loves his Latino Heat! She hands him the title belt, and then embraces him for a big hug. Chyna is all smiles - she’s smitten with Eddie Guerrero afterall! Later, we’d see Eddie and Chyna walking arm in arm to his Lowrider parked in the arena and they’d leave together while laughing and speaking Spanish to each other. Young love. 

Other Happenings

• D-Generation X - Roaddogg, X-Pac and Tori - come out to the ring. They’re still using the Run DMC version of their music from the Aggression CD which I really like. They’re facing T&A. Roaddogg makes fun of Trish’s appearance before the match (weird) but his promo is pretty nonsensical. A weird heel vs. heel match, but the fans are far too busy shouting things at Tori and Trish at ringside to care. They do both look lovely but come on guys, have some respect. A low blow behind the referee’s back and an X-Factor on Albert gives DX the victory. You can tell these guys were in tight with the powers that be in real life too - they hardly ever lose. 
• Backstage, Kurt Angle complains to Howard Finkle about having lost both his titles without being pinned or submitted. Howard explains the rules and says as much as he respects Kurt, he lost his titles fair and square. Angle flips out and puts Howard in the Crossface Chickenwing.  
• Chris Benoit defends his newly won Intercontinental Championship against Tazz. Chris Jericho’s already lost his title! They lock up aggressively and this one is stiff! It’s a short match and as Tazz locks the Tazzmission on Benoit, fellow Radical Perry Saturn runs down and climbs the top rope and distracts Tazz. He gets caught and Tazz throws him across the ring but the distraction helps as Benoit hits a bridging German suplex to retain his title. As th two leave together, Tazz gives chase and locks the Tazzmission on Saturn before brawling with them both to the backstage area.
• Michael Cole in the ring brings out the new WWF Tag Team Champions Edge and Christian. Both men are walking gingerly after the incredible Triangle Ladder match last night at Wrestlemania. Cole says the match was spectacular and asks how they feel. Edge takes the mic and chases him out of the ring. The champs have a little bit of a cocky attitude. Edge says they became champions in the most fantastic match of all time. They were great. But you also need great opponents. Christian and Edge have had a little gimmick change here and are really full of themselves. Edge asks “Matthew and Jeffrey” to come down to the ring. That was funny. They do also call them The Hardly Boys which is also funny. They sarcastically wish them well and say there’s nothing wrong with being second best or third best. The Dudleyz music hits and as Edge and Christian hit Matt and Jeff from behind, Bubba and D-Von run to the ring and throw Christian to the outside before giving a 3D to Edge. The tag team champions escape as The Dudleyz and Hardyz continue fighting while referees work to split them up. 

• Crash Holly challenges his cousin Hardcore for the Hardcore Championship. I mentioned it at Wrestlemania but Hardcore winning the title was a botch and not supposed to happen. Crash goes on the attack and uses the title belt and then a baking tray to the head for a pair of near falls very early. The match doesn’t go long but Hardcore seems to have it in hand until Bradshaw and Faarooq appear and beat up Hardcore allowing Crash to regain the title. It would appear he paid for the services of the APA to help him get his title back. As he leaves, he’s jumped by the Mean Street Posse and the Houdini of Hardcore gets away again. The 24/7 rule continues.

• Val Venis faces Kurt Angle. Kurt cuts off Val’s pre match promo (good) and says that after being cheated out of both his titles last night, kids were too depressed to go to school! He has sanitary gloves to put on ahead of his match with Val because he doesn’t want to catch something. That is very funny. Venis jumps him before he can get them on though so King spends the match being concerned for his safety. A short back and forth match ends when Kurt uses his apparent new finisher - the Crossface Chickenwing - for the submission victory.
• Kane (with Paul Bearer) takes on the newcomer Bull Bucanan. Bossman distracts Kane so Bull can get the early advantage, but slips off the ropes when going for his big leap into a springboard clothesline. Kane hammers Bull with a massive chokeslam to win the match in short, impressive fashion. Bossman immediately jumps him with the nightstick and the two of them handcuff Kane to the ring ropes on the outside of the ring leaving Kane helpless as they continue to beat him. Paul Bearer does hit Bull with a steel chair - which he no-sells - and then Bull hits Kane’s hand with it, sandwiching it between the chair and the ringpost. Weirdly, Kane’s hand was already heavily taped up so my thinking is that he already had an injury and this was a little storyline to explain it, and give Bull credit for injuring Kane.

Smackdown! - April 6th, 2000

The Rock vs. THE McMahons

Smackdown opens in the parking lot. Shane McMahon is seemingly the only member of the McMahon-Helmsley faction that's at the arena and he’s on the phone wondering where everyone else is. Michael Cole and King talk about the apparent WWF Championship controversy, and that some people think The Rock is the WWF Champion because he pinned Triple H on Raw. In a match Triple H wasn’t in. In a match that Triple H said more than once if it DID happen would be non-title. I told you all that Earl Hebner was the worst. Everyone else is being dumb here too though. In no way, shape, form, or fashion is The Rock the WWF Champion. It seems that some “mainstream media outlets” reported that The Rock won the WWF title on Raw. I can only assume whoever said that didn’t actually watch the show. 

After the Benoit/Rikishi match, Vince McMahon has arrived and he and Shane head down to the ring together. The “asshole” chants are deafening. He said that he wants to dismiss the rumour that DX won’t be here tonight. They’re at an autograph signing, but they will be here tonight. Vince recaps the events of Raw and like i said, The Rock obviously didn’t win the title. He’s interrupted by a very loud “Shane’s a pussy” chant. Vince then calls referee Earl Hebner down to the ring and demands he explain why he counted to three when The Rock pinned Triple H outside of a match. Earl says that he did it because The Rock told him to. He says Earl has ruined the reputation of all WWF officials (Amen) and if he ever does it again he will “knock him on his ass” before calling out ring announcer Lillian Garcia. He’s a bit creepy towards her and makes her sign a song for him as an apology for announcing The Rock as the winner on Raw. It’s cringy. Finally he takes issue with Jim Ross’ commentary and some of the things he said about Vince and Shane on Raw. Vince says he has balls the size of grapefruits, and that Shane has balls the size of pomegranates. (Shane looks pretty bemused by that and almost corpsed) before challenging The Rock to a handicap match tonight.

Kevin Kelly interviews The Rock and after making fun of both McMahons, accepts their challenge for tonight’s main event. 

D-Generation X arrives at the arena in the DX Express bus. They’re sitting listening to their own theme song on the bus. What losers.

D-Generation X storms into the McMahon dressing room and Triple H is upset that it’s them facing The Rock and not him. Vince tells them to calm down and let he and Shane have their night. X-Pac and Roaddogg are just as upset. After a commercial break, Stephanie talks to her dad and says that The Rock doesn’t deserve a shot at the WWF title but X-Pac and Roaddogg do deserve a shot at The Rock. She’s nauseating, putting on her daddy’s little girl act, getting him to agree. So it’s Roaddogg and X-Pac against The Rock tonight instead. 

The main event is now supposed to be The Rock vs. X-Pac and Roaddogg in a handicap match but before any of them enter, Shane McMahon comes out to act as special ring announcer and then brings out WWF Champion Triple H out to be the special guest referee. He even has Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley with him. Shane then gives a big introduction to X-Pac and Roaddogg, who also have Tori. The deck is well and truly stacked.

The Rock starts fast but is quickly shut down by the two on one odds. With Triple H helping his boys cheat, and Stephanie on commentary cheering DX on The Rock has no chance. Triple H counts fast for DX and slow for The Rock until finally The Rock has had enough. He knocks X-Pac off the apron into Shane, and then Roaddogg into Triple H before giving Roaddogg a Rock Bottom. There’s no referee to count so Earl Hebner runs down to the ring and tries, until he’s pulled out of the ring by Vince McMahon and knocked out. The Rock sees Vince and charges after him, catching up at the top of the ramp and, with the rest of DX and the McMahon-Helmsley faction looking on, clocks Vince square in the head with a steel chair, standing tall over the fallen owner to end Smackdown.

Kurt Angle - Still in Championship Contention

Kurt Angle approaches Scotty 2 Hotty backstage. He’s looking for a tag team partner, and with Grandmaster Sexay being injured by Big Show on Raw he offers that position to him. Scotty politely refuses. Later he’d try again asking Esse Rios to be his partner and being really patronising and rude to the non-English speaker. The highlight of that segment is Lita in her shiny red catsuit. In the third of these segments, Mae Young begs to be Kurt’s partner but she is obviously rebuffed. Hardcore Holly agrees (after first not knowing who the current tag team champions are until Kurt tells him) and Angle has a partner.

Edge and Christian with their new, much more confident attitude defend the tag team titles against the brand new tag team of Kurt Angle and Hardcore Holly. A good match with Edge and Christian retaining thanks to a stacked superplex on Hardcore Holly. Angle is furious after the match, losing another title opportunity without being pinned. He gets on the mic and tells Holly he wishes he’d picked Mae Young, so Holly slaps him and lays out the Olympian with the Falcon Arrow suplex slam.

All Four Radicals In Action

In the arena, the show opens up with Rikishi challenging Chris Benoit for the Intercontinental Championship. Benoit wins a short match with a Northern Lights suplex which was very impressive considering Rikishi’s size. Post-match, sore loser Rikishi gives Benoit a Samoan drop and a Stink Face, followed by a belly to belly suplex and a Banzai drop. Shame he didn’t do all of that during the match. 

Tazz is jumped during his entrance by his would-be opponent, Perry Saturn. They fight down to ringside and brawl along the entrance ramp and into the backstage area pursued by referees.

The new WWF European Champion and his apparent new girlfriend, Chyna , arrive at the arena in a beautiful lowrider. King acts like he’s never seen a lowrider before and squeals when it bounces on its hydraulics. They then head out in the arena as Eddie carries roses and hands them to Chyna. This is also the debut of his solo theme music, and he is calling Chyna “Mamacita”. Jerry Lawler is absolutely unbearable here with his borderline offensive Mexican accent and squeals of “Mamacita” and “Latino Heat”. I wish I could slap him through the TV screen. Eddie asks Chyna why she did what she did, and she says, with a big smile, that she couldn’t resist his Latino Heat!

Eddie crawls on the mat, hugging at her leg. She then turns on Chris Jericho officially, calling him small and insecure and says he was always trying to get in her pants but she was never interested. Eddie rattles off the name of a bunch of famous Spanish and Portuguese historical figures as his ancestors. He is eventually interrupted by Chris Jericho, who doesn’t verbally retort and instead rushes the ring and knocks them both down with punches and gives Eddie a spinning powerbomb which looks really good. Referees stop the fight as Chyna helps her man escape the ring. 

Dean Malenko defends the WWF Light Heavyweight Championship against Taka Michinoku. It’s been well over a year since we last heard it on TV but I still think his theme song is awesome. Lawler does his classic “China and Japan are the same" racism. God he is on my NERVES during this slow. Dean wins a short but very good match with a top rope gutbuster and a Texas cloverleaf submission to retain the title. I’ll get a chance to talk about the light heavyweight division a lot more this month which I’m happy about.

Other Happenings

• T&A (with Trish Stratus) take on former WWF Tag Team Champions Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley. They seem to be slowly turning face as the fans are really into the tables gimmick and they’re getting more and more cheers. This is decent and Test and Albert suffer another loss to a 3D on Test. As Trish checks on him after the match, Bubba seems to go into a trace, staring at her. He wants to put her through a table! Bubba’s gimmick has shifted to specifically wanting to put women through tables. Test and Albert manage to help her escape, and Matt and Jeff Hardy attack The Dudleyz continuing their feud from Wrestlemania. It’s all about wanting back into the tag title hunt. 

• Steve Blackman and Al Snow - Head Cheese - take on The Big Bossman and Bull Buchanan in tag team action. Bull “broke” Kane’s hand on Raw. Bossman pins Al Snow clean with the Bossman slam. Blackman throws some kicks after the match for some reason.
• Backstage, Shane McMahon watches back Big Show’s dancing from Raw and is very encouraging about his new fun loving attitude. Big Show has a match with The Godfather tonight, and is apparently wearing something special for the match. The Godfather enters with a collection of seven hoes for his match with the recent Wrestlemania main eventer turned goofy dancing midcarder. Big Show enters dressed as a pimp, calling himself The Big Pimp.

This is also pretty racially insensitive as he talks a little more “street” than is strictly cool. What is WITH Smackdown tonight? He does at least get the crowd chanting “raise the roof” briefly. The Godfather puts up a really good fight and hits the Hoe Train in the corner but with the referee distracted by the hoes, Big Show snaps Godfather’s cane over his head to win the match. Why did the hoes distract the referee? Well one of them gets in the ring and apparently has taken a liking to Big Show. He gets her in the ring and makes out with her. He did mention being married on Raw so this seems very poorly timed, but the girl in this segment actually IS his wife. They don’t say that on TV though.

Raw is War - April 10th, 2000

The Rock earns a title shot

The Rock opens the show and says he wants to show some footage of Vince McMahon and after a sex tape joke, rolls the footage on the titantron of The Rock laying out Vince with a stiff chairshot to the head at the conclusion of Smackdown. He wants Vince to remember everything he’s done to Vince, his “jackass son” Shane and his “slut daughter” Stephanie but The Rock wants more. He wants his WWF title shot tonight on Raw. That brings Vince McMahon out carrying a steel chair. He tentatively gets into the ring and The Rock dares him to hit him with it, but Vince realises that even with a chair he doesn’t stand much of a chance against The Rock and puts the chair down. He offers The Rock a chance to become number one contender for the WWF title tonight, but makes it clear that this will be his very last chance. That draws a very loud “asshole” chant. Vince reminds The Rock of his history as the Corporate Champion, and says that HE made The Rock, not the People. He says that without him The Rock might have been a star, like Doink the Clown or Bastion Booger, but thanks to Vince McMahon he’s a superstar - he hosted Saturday Night Live, he wrote a best selling book and he is the top man. He says he wants a “thank you” from The Rock, and THAT’s why he turned on him at Wrestlemania. That obviously isn’t the case, because that makes even less sense. The implication is that he always wanted to side with Triple H and Stephanie and get the family back together but he waited until Wrestlemania to humble and humiliate The Rock. But then why did he literally run Triple H into the ringpost minutes before helping him win the match? This whole segment goes on a bit too long as he starts talking about The Rock’s unhealthy fascination with monkey’s asses and so on, and implies that The Rock is too interested in “faeces” (he pronounces it weird). This took a really odd turn. What is Vince even talking about? Finally, Triple H comes out along with his wife Stephanie and brother-in-law Shane McMahon. With The Rock distracted, Vince tries to hit him with the chair but Rocky sees it coming and beats him to the punch, hitting Vince in the back with a chair and holding off the rest of the McMahon’s with it. We know that The Rock’s number one contenders match will be in a steel cage tonight, but we don’t know who his opponent will be. 

Triple H, accompanied by the WWF Women’s Champion Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley and Shane McMahon, defends the WWF Championship against a mystery opponent. It’s Taka Michinoku, but Triple H’s confident look suddenly drops when he realises Taka has paid for the APA’s services. He had set this up as apparently an easy win but Taka is taking it seriously. Shane McMahon gets into a shoving match with referee Earl Hebner (No idea what caused it) and so the APA chases him away from the ring. Full credit to Triple H, he bumps circles around the ring for the former Light Heavyweight Champion and makes Taka look like a million dollars in this WWF Championship match! Aided by his speed, having his tag team partner Funaki at ringside, and the APA’s services to stop any interference and referee Earl Hebner already having a strong dislike for Triple H and the McMahon-Helmsley faction Taka gets some really close near falls.

King does manage to ruin this moment with some more casual racism about Taka’s name and insisting that Chinese people and Japanese people are interchangeable. Funaki dropkicks Triple H into the APA, and Bradshaw and Faarooq take it personally and rough him up on the outside including a Clothesline from Hell. Funaki with a missile dropkick and Taka with a moonsault and the crowd jumps up out of their seats for the nearfall! Vince and Shane McMahon come down to the ring and Vince offers the APA even more money to leave and let them get involved. The distraction let's Bossman and Bucanan jump them from behind and in the ring, Taka’s Michinoku driver is blocked. One Pedigree later and Triple H retains the WWF Championship in a fun match that made Taka look really good. The Game gives Funaki a Pedigree after the match too. It seems that The Big Bossman and Bull Bucanan are cosy with the McMahon-Helmsley faction too. Even Vince and Shane throw some cheap kicks at the APA while they’re down. 

The Rock enters first for the main event. There’s in indication of who his opponent is but all we know is that it’ll be in a cage, and that The Rock must win by pinfall or escaping over the top of the cage to earn a WWF title match. As he paces, Triple H comes out dressed to compete, with the WWF title belt around his waist and all three McMahon’s win him. But it’s not Triple H. No, The Rock’s opponents are The Big Bossman and Bull Bucanan in a handicap match. The match is pretty dull and weirdly there’s no shenanigans and The Rock…just wins. He counters a jump off the top by Bull into a Rock Bottom and pins him to officially earn a title shot. After the match, Triple H and the McMahons swarm the ring and The Rock is beaten down three on one. Triple H uses some brass knuckles to bust The Rock open and he lays into a bleeding Rock before dropping him with a Pedigree. Triple H gets on the mic and says that if The Rock wants to play The Game then he can. Triple H says he’s done playing games with Rocky - he is his worst nightmare. He is bleeding really heavily. Triple H tries to finish with another Pedigree onto the chair - the blood pools on the chair as he holds him in position but the APA run down and after clobbering Bossman and Bull on the way to the cage chase Triple H, Vince and Shane away. We get a final look at The Rock before Raw ends and he is drenched in blood. He looks like he’s lost pints. I really can't stress enough how much The Rock was bleeding here - he must have nicked a vein when he was blading or something.

Mamacita

Eddie Guerrero arrives in another nice Lowrider with his European title belt, and “Mamacita” Chyna on his arm. He’s on top of the world.

Eddie Guerrero enters with Chyna to defend his title against former European Champion Chris Jericho. Y2J cuts a promo on the walk to the ring and reverts back to his previous shtick of calling Chyna a man, insinuating she has a penis and then calling her a bitch. Jericho is not an ally. Personally I think she looks gorgeous. Jericho has the Walls of Jericho and Chyna distracts the referee. She gives the title belt to Eddie to use as a weapon and as the two men fight over it, the referee gets knocked down. Y2J hits the Lionsault but Chyna gets in the ring and drops him with a DDT allowing Eddie to cover and the referee wakes up in time to count the three. Eddie retains the title in the exact same fashion he won it. 

The Big Val-Showski

Big Show shows off this week’s choice of outfit to his best buddy Shane McMahon who continues to laugh along and encourage his new “cutting loose, fun loving” style.

Val Venis enters first for his match with The Big Show. This week, The Big Show is The Big Val-Showski. He’s wearing a wig and is dressed with Val Venis. He does his own version of Val’s innuendo-laced pre-match promo. Show makes a comment about the Titanic, and then Val gets on the mic and basically calls him fat. Val puts up a decent fight until Show loses his temper and chokes him out with his wig, getting disqualified. Show doesn’t seem to care and gyrates his hips to Val’s music anyway. 

Other Happenings

• Edge and Christian defend the WWF Tag Team Championships against Roaddogg and X-Pac. Edge and Christian are still good guys and very popular despite their recent attitude change and cockiness. Tori tries to help her boys cheat, pulling Edge’s hair and distracting the referee allowing Roaddogg to hit Christian with one of the tag team title belts. X-Pac covers and DX wins the WWF Tag Team titles! Or do they? Referee Earl Hebner, who clashed with Triple H and the McMahon’s on last week’s Raw and Smackdown, comes out and reverses that and says the match has to continue due to the cheating. Edge quickly Spears X-Pac and covers to retain the Tag Team Championships. Odd booking, but DX did cheat and Earl Hebner screws DX and the McMahon’s again. 

• Terri Runnels goes to see her Wrestlemania opponent The Kat - she asks if her phone has also been ringing off the hook? It seems that their Wrestlemania “match” got them a lot of attention and so Terri wants to apologise for their previous issues, and take Kat for a spa day as a thank you. Kat is excited to accept. Later, they left together in a limo. They went to a hair salon where Terri spiked Kat’s drink and then later in the show, Kat wakes up to discover that her hair has been cut to look very ugly. It was probably a wig in reality. 

• The Godfather - along with four hoes - enters to his song from the Aggression CD. The one Ice T performed live at Wrestlemania which was cut from the WWE Network. His opponent is the Olympic hero, Kurt Angle. He preaches the benefits of celibacy on the walk to the ring. His three Is are important but most important is the big A - Abstinence. He’s such a dork. He calls out Godfather for parading filth and debauchery and so gives him a gift - it's a condom. Godfather jumps Kurt when he’s had enough of listening to him and the match begins. Kurt uses one of the hoes as a human shield so in return, Godfather holds him and lets the girl slap him! What a gentleman. Kurt quickly finishes off Godfather with the Olympic Slam and wins the match. Thankfully it seems that his use of the Crossface Chickenwing has ended. 
• Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty team up with Tazz (Grandmaster Sexay has an injured knee - he needed surgery, but they’re blaming it on Big Show) against The Radicals - Perry Saturn (who had an issue with Tazz), Intercontinental Champion Chris Benoit and Light Heavyweight Champion Dean Malenko. The match breaks down and as Tazz and Saturn go at it, Dean takes a Stink Face. Rikishi fights with Benoit leaving Scotty 2 Hotty in the ring to give Dean the Worm. The match breaks down but The Radicals are the more effective team and Malenko is able to pin Scotty after a blow from Saturn to win the match for his team.

• Backstage, Trish Stratus has Test and Albert bust into The Dudleyz locker room and beat them down as pay back for putting their hands on Trish on Smackdown.T&A then head out in the arena for their match with Matt and Jeff Hardy. JR puts The Hardyz over really strongly as the most exciting young tag team in the WWF. He is right too. There’s a weird sort-of botch as Albert hits Matt with a corner charge but seems to drive the wind out of himself and takes ages to recover. The Hardyz win with a Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb on Albert. After they leave, Bubba Ray and D-Von rush the ring and give Test a 3D before setting up a table in the ring. After its setup, Trish gets on the apron and uses her womanly ways to distract Bubba. He’s mesmerised and so Albert takes out D-Von and then spikes Bubba through his own table with a two-handed chokebomb. 

• There’s a sign in the crowd that says “I’d rather be at Nitro”. That’s WCW’s Monday night show and there’s no way that was true in April 2000. We’re two weeks out from David Arquette winning the WCW World title.

Smackdown! - April 13th, 2000

Six man Mayhem

Backstage while crowing about how much fun they had destroying The Rock on Raw, Shane, Stephanie and Triple H reveal that Vince McMahon isn’t here tonight. The Rock is shown arriving at the arena (with a big bandage on his head - he was bleeding SO much on Raw) and so the McMahon-Helmsley’s head down to the ring. Shane speaks first and talks very proudly of seeing his brother-in-law split The Rock’s head open and drive him into the mat with a Pedigree. He is proud that he’s his brother and proud that he’s the WWF Champion. Stephanie (who is showered with “slut” chants) tells Triple H that her dad, Mr. McMahon, will personally be in his corner when he defends the title against The Rock. Triple H is touched, and then addresses The Rock. It takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears to be the WWF Champion and he proved on Raw that The Rock doesn’t have what it takes. He says he’ll teach The Rock that lesson as many times as he has to. The Rock will never be the WWF Champion because he will never beat Triple H. That finally brings The Rock out. Triple H teases giving The Rock his title shot tonight in Rocky’s home state, but then changes his mind and says that it should be on a big stage at Backlash. The Rock tells Triple H to bring anyone and everyone and he promises the people that he is going to win the WWF Championship at Backlash. Triple H tells The Rock to go and find the APA and he can face Triple H, Bossman and Bull Bucanan in a six man tag team match tonight. 

Backstage, Triple H and Shane McMahon berate referee Earl Hebner. He’s gotten on their wrong side multiple times lately. Shane wants to fire him but Triple H stops him and says they should put him on probation. Earl did shove Shane on Raw so it makes sense he’s angrier. 

Backstage as they walk to the ring, The Rock asks the APA if the McMahon’s have bought them off and if he's walking into a five on one situation. Bradshaw and Faarooq refuse to answer. 

In the six man main event there’s no evidence that the APA have been bought off and it breaks down into a standard tag team match. The WWF powers that be must have so much faith in Bull as he’s already mixing it up with main eventers and has main evented Raw and Smackdown this week. They’ve always liked Bossman. Triple H and the men in black isolate Faarooq and beat him down. “Referee on probation” Earl Hebner is the official for this match too and he gets in Triple H’s face for not listening to his commands. They have a shoving match and this all breaks down with the APA and Bossman and Bull pairing off. The Rock snaps and hammers Shane at ringside, hitting him with one of the monitors and then with Triple H looking on from the top of the ramp, he drives Shane though the announce table with a Rock Bottom, ending Smackdown with a stare down between The Rock and Triple H. 

The Big Scot

Backstage, Shane and Triple H buddy up to Kurt Angle and tell him that he got screwed at Wrestlemania. They offer him a chance to win WWF gold again tonight - he can challenge the Tag Team Champions, with The Big Show as his partner. Kurt is delighted and shakes both their hands. Triple H and Shane share a laugh about what Show is apparently wearing tonight as part of his continued “fun loving ways”.

Kurt Angle teams with The Big Show in his quest to be a WWF gold holder once again. Kurt gives a big hyped up introduction to The Big Show…who comes out to bagpipe music, dressed in a kilt with a tartan bonnet. The Big Scot? Show has a terrible Scottish accent and it offends me personally. He’s just here to have a little bit of fun.

Despite his silliness, he is still 500lbs and 7 feet tall so manages to throw Edge and Christian around. He’s too busy dancing to capitalise so Kurt tags himself in. It backfires when Edge and Christian double team him and take control of the match. Big Show gets sick of Angle’s attempts to make him get serious and then after costing his own team the match by disqualification for attacking his own partner he lays out Angle with a massive powerbomb. 

Y2J makes friends

Backstage, Chris Jericho approaches Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley and Tori and asks if they know where The Godfather is, insinuating that they’re hoes. He sarcastically apologises and they are obviously grateful offended. Later they go to break the news that he’ll have to face Roaddogg and X-Pac in a handicap match.

Chris Jericho faces Roaddogg and X-Pac in a handicap match. This is his punishment for walking up to Stephanie and Tori and basically calling them sluts for no reason. On his walk to the ring, he says he was going to apologise but since he’s being punished anyway he might as well get his money’s worth and doubles down, calling Stephanie the “filthiest, dirtiest, skankiest, brutal, bottom-feeding trash bag hoe” he has ever seen in his life. The crowd loudly chants “X-Pac sucks” during the match. He is deep into his faux martial arts, only-does-spinning-heel-kicks era. Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley is show watching this match from backstage alongside an unnamed blonde woman. Jericho puts up a good fight and with his speed and hitting big moves, gets a couple of near falls. Tori gets upset and gets in the ring but Y2J blocks her attempt to slap him so he drops her and puts her in the Walls of Jericho. X-Pac takes advantage of the distraction with an X-Factor and Roaddogg pins him to win the match. 

Other Happenings

• Smackdown opens with Rikishi challenging Eddie Guerrero for the European Championship. He presents Chyna with a huge bouquet of roses on the walk to the ring, and then before the match says that it would be a disgrace for a true European to lose this title to a Samoan. Rikishi has the world’s largest supply of ass but he has the world’s largest supply of Latino Heat. Eddie is great. The referee goes down and as Rikishi sets up for the Banzai drop, Chyna smashes the class vase containing her roses over his head. Eddie covers but by the time the referee wakes up, Rikishi kicks out. Chyna keeps trying to help and gets a Stink Face for her troubles, and then as Rikishi sets up for the Rikishi-driver, Chyna gives him a low blow causing a disqualification. Rikishi wins the match but Eddie keeps the title. 

• Al Snow takes Steve Blackman to an old folks home to entertain them with some stand up comedy. It’s what you’d expect - he’s not very good, and only Snow laughs at his jokes. In the final segment, Steve gets sick of the elderly hecklers and looks like he’s going to attack them with his nunchucks.
• The Hardy Boyz take on the team of Intercontinental Champion Chris Benoit and Light Heavyweight Champion Dean Malenko, The Radicals. Benoit and Malenko isolate Jeff Hardy and work him over until a hot tag to Matt. The finish coms when Dean plans Matt with a nice slam but as he covers, Jeff gives him a Swanton bomb across his back and Matt rolls him over for the successful cover. Matt and Jeff get another big victory.

• Crash Holly defends the Hardcore Championship against Perry Saturn - the only of the four Radicals with no title belt at the moment. He comes to the ring carrying a trash can full of weapons like crutches and kendo sticks. Crash attacks him on the outside to start the match. Perry powerbombs Crash onto a stop sign and gets a near fall with a trash can lid to the head. After some back and forth, Perry Saturn wins the Hardcore title with a stick kick to the face and for a moment, all four Radicals have their own singles titles. It’s undone right away as Tazz runs down with his own referee and knocks out Perry to win the Hardcore title under the 24/7 rules, but then Crash recovers to use a stop sign to take out Tazz and regain his Hardcore title! Crash grabs the belt and escapes - the Houdini of Hardcore escapes again after three Hardcore title changes.

• Bubba Ray Dudley (with D-Von) takes on Albert (with Test and Trish Stratus) Bubba is obsessed with putting Trish through a table (like he did to Terri and Mae Young) and it keeps costing The Dudleyz matches as he gets distracted. Albert put Bubba through a table on Raw. This is a physical big man match with Albert getting control every time Trish distracts Bubba. This isn’t news to anyone and is always the case but it is SO much the case on this episode of Smackdown that I HAVE to mention it - she looks absolutely amazing. Her distractions aren’t enough and Bubba wins with a Cutter (it’s an RKO) which Michael Cole calls a “modified 3D” ? Ok. Test attacks after the match and sets up a table. D-Von got jumped too but recovers and saves the day with a steel chair. A pair of stiff chair shots to T&A and Bubba drives Albert through the table with a splash off the top rope! 

• WWF Women’s Champion Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley comes out alongside the unnamed blonde we saw earlier - she’s dressed all in pink, and has an ear piece in. She’s running on the spot as they walk and she has this really annoying, peppy energy. Stephanie talks about how fat and ugly the fans are, and says that she represents all women. She is doing us a public service by introducing her personal trainer - Muffy. This gimmick is dropped immediately because someone realised that having a personal trainer implies that daddy’s little girl has a weight problem. They actually just cut away from the segment while Stephanie is mid-sentence and we'll never see Muffy again.

• Terri Runnels and the Fabulous Moolah face The Kat and Mae Young in a tag team match. The Kat’s hair was trashed by Terri on Raw, but tonight it's all tied back. I’m sure it’s fine. Neither Kat nor Terri are wrestlers so amazingly it’s the two 70+ year old women who do the heavy lifting in this match. Terri is chased around the ring and throws a glass of water at Kat which she sells like it’s acid. These two set women’s wrestling back five years every time they’re on TV. It’s not even good. King laughs himself hoarse at his own jokes whenever Mae and Moolah get in the ring. Mae gets Moolah and Terri down in opposing corners and she and Kat give their respective rivals a pair of Brono Busters. Kat gives Moolah a terrible looking “spear” and Mae pins her with an elbow drop. This was awful. Outside of an appearance at the UK exclusive Insurrextion PPV, this is Moolah and Mae’s last appearances for a long long while. That’s for the best. 

Raw is War - April 17th, 2000

A NEW WWF Champion. Or Not. 

The show opens with action right away. Triple H - absolutely furious at Chris Jericho for how he spoke to his wife on Smackdown - faces Y2J. Triple H is pumped up backstage and he promises Stephanie to give him a vicious beating. Before Triple H enters, Jericho reminds us all of the vile, nasty (deserved) things he said about Stephanie and again calls her the “filthiest, dirtiest, skankiest, brutal, bottom-feeding trash bag hoe” again. He apologises to all the bargain basement sluts for comparing them to Stephanie because she’s so much worse. Triple H rushes the ring and throws the title belt. He is furious and wants this match to start. Jericho takes advantage and goads Triple H into putting the WWF Championship on the line. He’s so angry that he does it without thinking. It’s at that point that Y2J reveals that he’s hired the APA to protect him and stop any outside interference! The fans are electric for all of this. This match is heated and the fans chant “asshole” at Triple H and “slut” at Stephanie at ringside before ending on the loudest one of all, “Shane’s a pussy”. They erupt into Y2J chants after a near fall and as he locks in the Walls of Jericho. The referee gets knocked down when Jericho slingshots Triple H into him. Shane McMahon tries to get involved so the APA chase him away from ringside. Stephanie passes her husband the WWF title belt to use as a weapon while the referee is down but it backfires and Jericho uses it instead. He has a cover but theres no referee to count until referee on probation Earl Hebner runs down to the ring. Triple H kicks out and after a facebuster, he sees Earl is now the referee and gets in his face. He shoves Earl, who shoves The Game back! Jericho hits a spinning heel kick and a Lionsault and Earl gives us a fast count! The fans come unglued for the three count and Chris Jericho is the new WWF Champion!

The building is shaking and Triple H is livid. He flips out as Y2J escapes and runs away with the WWF title belt! Lillian Garcia announces Jericho as the winner and new champion and it is official! Or is it?

After the commercial break, Triple H is in the referee’s locker room and he accosts Earl Hebner. He grabs him and drags him out to the ring, as Shane drags the original referee out with them. Triple H demands a replay of the finish be shown, and then tells the original referee to give his fair, unbiased opinion. Mike agrees that yes it was a fast count, and that he did screw Triple H. He is then free to leave and with some bullying from Triple H and the McMahons they make Earl Hebner reverse his decision and award the Championship back to Triple H, but Earl says that he’ll only do it as long as none of them ever touch him again while he’s a WWF referee. Jericho comes out and does surrender the title belt, after calling Stephanie a slut again. Triple H makes Earl put the title belt around his waist too. Triple H tells Earl that he’ll keep his promise and while he’s a WWF official no one will ever harm him again, but then fires him and he and Shane give him a beating. Triple H plants Earl Hebner with a Pedigree! I know he’s the bad guy here and I should be pro-Earl Hebner but…good. He was an awful referee. I feel vindicated! Triple H reaching forward through time and doing my bidding here.

Backstage, Michael Cole asks Triple H for his reaction to Linda’s announcement (see the next section!) and he books tonight's main event - Chris Jericho and The Acolytes against himself, Roaddogg and X-Pac. Triple H hasn’t had a good night.

Chris Jericho enters first for the main event, followed by the APA and then all three male members of D-Generation X. Not to be all Jerry Lawler about it but my favourite member of DX is Tori’s little shorts. Bradshaw is the early star of this match, beating up the WWF Champion and easily bullying Roaddogg and X-Pac but DX gets control by isolating Faarooq. As the match breaks down, the APA fights DX to the top of the ramp where Edge and Christian, who Roaddogg and X-Pac jumped earlier, are waiting and the three tag teams disappear backstage. As Jericho and Triple H continue one on one in the ring, the APA return but are in turn attacked by Bossman and Bull. Between all this chaos with the various tag teams, Triple H hits the Pedigree and pins Chris Jericho to win the match. Raw enters with the McMahon-Helmsley faction celebrating in the ring.

The Return of the Rattlesnake

Linda McMahon is here, and has an important announcement to make about The Rock. Shane McMahon tries to find out from her what is ahead of time but she refuses to say. Elsewhere backstage, Shane and Stephanie try to calm down Triple H who is still worked up after the almost title loss earlier and wants to know what the announcement is. 

With Triple H, Stephanie and Shane watching from backstage, Linda McMahon heads down to the ring. Her announcement is about Backlash. She thinks it's unfair that Triple H will have three McMahons in his corner and The Rock will have no one. The Rock hasn’t asked for help, but after seeing what happened at Wrestlemania and even to Chris Jericho earlier tonight she knows The Rock needs some help. She does say that it’s not Mick Foley. She promises this person will have The Rock’s back at Backlash - it’ll be Stone Cold Steve Austin! The fans come unglued! JR screams “The Rattlesnake! The Rattlesnake!” I got goosebumps. Triple H and the McMahon children head out to the ring in a fury to confront Linda. Stephanie makes references to having slapped her mother previously, and gives her the chance to change her mind and reconsider.

Linda refuses, so Stephanie tries to slap her again - Linda blocks it and gives one to her daughter instead, sending Stephanie flying backwards. Linda immediately shows remorse for it but the fans loved it. Stephanie tells Triple H to get her and he tries to Pedigree Linda, so Shane clotheslines him! Stephanie is then stuck trying to keep Triple H and Shane apart as Linda escapes unharmed. She slaps her brother and her husband and as they all argue, The Rock arrives! Rocky says that he felt great about Backlash, about Triple H having the odds stacked against him but with Stone Cold in his corner he feels even better. The entire world knows about Rock and Austin’s history. They haven’t always seen eye to eye, but the one thing they’ve always agreed on is that Triple H is the biggest asshole walking God’s green Earth. Huge pop. 

Kurt Angle enrages The Big Show

Kurt Angle has several segments where he preaches abstinence and celibacy, giving a lollipop to a woman on a date. His crusade is ruined when The Big Show arrives to hand out condoms to the masses.

The Big Show - who isn’t dressed up and actually looks all business tonight - challenges Chris Benoit for the Intercontinental title. He’s still friends with Shane McMahon but with the fun loving attitude change and a match with Benoit here, he seems to be a babyface now. Show is really impressive, easily throwing Benoit around with Gorilla presses in and out of the ring and no-selling all of Benoit’s strikes. A desperate Benoit uses a blatant low blow in front of the referee to get himself disqualified and escape with his title and as Benoit struggles, Kurt Angle rushes to the ring and gives Show multiple low blows one after another. That’s forced abstinence I suppose.

Other Happenings

• Backstage Eddie Guerrero is studying for his GED. This is kind of lost on a British audience but this is a qualification that people who never graduated high school do and is a high school equivalent. It’s a bit of a racial stereotype that Latinos in America tend to be the ones who don’t graduate high school, and WWF in the early 2000s LOVED being racial insensitive.
• The Hardy Boyz take on Esse Rios (with the absolutely gorgeous Lita) and European Champion Eddie Guerrero (with Chyna, who is also gorgeous but I’m not so keen on her hair here).

Eddie and Esse work really well as a team and this is a very high flying match. There’s some miscommunication when Lita tries to help and her moonsault hits Eddie Guerrero instead. Matt Hardy is able to pin Eddie to win the match for The Hardyz and afterwards, Chyna makes Esse Rios pay for the miscue with a powerbomb. 

• Tazz - who is the new ECW Champion - faces Perry Saturn and Crash Holly in a triple threat match for the Hardcore title. Crash hits Perry with a stop sign during his entrance to start the match quickly. I’ll talk more about Tazz being ECW Champion during the next Smackdown. Shortly into this match, Hardcore Holly comes down and fights with his cousin at ringside, trying to cash in on the 24/7 rule. With all four men going at it, Hardcore knocks out Perry with a stop sign and Crash steals the pin to escape with his Hardcore title once again.
• The Dudley Boyz face Al Snow and Steve Blackman. They quickly hit a 3D on Snow but don’t have time to cover before T&A run down and cost them the match. It was all in a matter of minutes. The Dudleyz get their hands on Trish and take out Test and Albert and look like they might finally put her through a table but she starts kissing Bubba Ray! He freezes, in a trance and that allows her to escape. He stands frozen in the ring as she blows him a kiss.

• Scotty 2 Hotty challenges Dean Malenko for the WWF Light Heavyweight Championship. This is a rematch from last night on Heat when Dean retained the title by cheating and holding the tights. Scotty wins a short and fun match when he reverses a superplex landing into a roll up for the three count! Scotty 2 Hotty is the new Light Heavyweight Champion! 

Edge and Christian defend the WWF Tag Team titles - our fifth championship match tonight - against The Big Bossman and Bull Buchanan. Presumably this is a reward for Bossman and Bull doing the McMahon-Helmsleys some favours recently. For the first time in a couple of weeks, JR mentions Kane during this - Bull broke Kane’s hand and we haven’t seen him since. That doesn’t feel like it should have been enough to put Kane on the shelf. It’s like I’m psychic because after Bossman and Bull get themselves disqualified for not listening to the referee, Kane returns and after sending Bossman packing out of the ring, spikes Bull with a massive impressive one-armed chokeslam.

• Backstage as Edge and Christian head back to their locker room having held onto the titles, Roaddogg and X-Pac jump them from behind and give them a wicked beating. 

Smackdown! - April 20th, 2000

An ECW Invasion, and a Lumberjack match

Backstage, Shane McMahon tells Triple H and Stephanie that he’s off to “round everyone up” and that the plan tonight is to divide and conquer. 

Stephanie and Triple H then head down to the ring together. Triple H goes on a bit - it's not a very interesting promo. He recounts and makes excuses for his bad day on Raw. He calls Linda McMahon a psycho for slapping her own daughter, and for making the title match at Backlash unfair by putting Stone Cold in The Rock’s corner at Backlash. He says he’s going to let The Rock get used to having people at ringside by booking him in a lumberjack match with Chris Jericho tonight. The lumberjacks will be hand picked by Shane McMahon. He ends by promising no more bad days for the McMahon-Helmsley regime. At that, hes interrupted by Tazz, which is a massive surprise. Tazz is, as mentioned on Raw, the ECW Champion and has the belt with him. I mentioned that I’d talk more about this on Smackdown. This is a pretty famous incident as WCW indulged in a little light contract tampering and signed Mike Awesome - at that time the ECW Champion - to a contract. Paul Heyman, owner of ECW, managed to negotiate a deal and thanks to his friendly relationship with Vince McMahon managed to have a WWF wrestler (and ECW legend) Tazz beat a WCW wrestler for the ECW title on an ECW show. Tazz mans up and challenges Triple H to a match tonight. Triple H actually totally buries Tazz and ECW by pretending to not know what ECW even is, and mockingly pretending to be frightened of Tazz. He says that this is the WWF and he promises to prove that ECW sucks. Tazz tells him to prepare to get choked out tonight. 

Elsewhere backstage, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley flirts with Kurt Angle and asks if he’ll be one of the lumberjacks for tonight’s main event. Meanwhile, Shane McMahon goes to see The Radicals and asks them to be lumberjacks too. 

ECW Champion Tazz faces WWF Champion Tazz. I mentioned it back in February when they debuted but Triple H as WWF Champion also wrestled Chris Benoit who had won the WCW World title only 12 or so days prior and never lost it. A big few months for interpromotional champion vs. champion matches. Tazz looks competitive, but a low blow from Stephanie leads to a Pedigree. Before Triple H can cover, ECW wrestler and future WWE superstar Tommy Dreamer runs in and tries to help but misses Triple H with his chairshot hitting Tazz and then getting a Pedigree of his own. Triple H covers and defeats Tazz and so ends the ECW crossover. Vince McMahon has in the years since admitted that he doesn’t know what he was thinking here and concedes that booking it this way did nothing for ECW and probably hurt them. At least he’s self aware.

Backstage, Shane McMahon asks Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley to act as lumberjacks and after a bit of weird questioning about whether tables will be involved, or if they’ll be allowed to 3D people (?) they accept. Later, Triple H recruits Bossman and Bull Buchanan. 

Before the main event, The Rock is interviewed and says he has no problem with Chris Jericho and sees this match for what it is - an attempt to soften him up. He keeps the focus on himself and Triple H and promises that he’ll be the next WWF Champion. Next up, the lumberjacks enter and with the DX theme song playing, Triple H leads X-Pac, Roaddogg, Tori, Stephanie, Shane, The Dudleyz, Bossman and Bull, Benoit, Saturn and Malenko and Kurt Angle to the ring to surround it. Jericho and The Rock enter and start the match with right and left hands. You think given the scenario they’d just refuse to fight each other but competitive spirit and all that. The match proceeds as you’d expect - if either man leaves the ring they’re quickly beaten up and sent back inside. The lumberjacks take turns distracting the referee and allowing others to slip in and hit their finishing moves on Rock and Jericho respectively. It breaks down when The Rock has had enough and pulls Triple H into the ring, but then Jericho jumps him from behind still wanting to win the match. The Rock hits a Rock Bottom and covers but Triple H pulls him out of the ring. He fights them off and hits a second Rock Bottom on Jericho, and this time Shane distracts the referee. Triple H hits Rocky with the WWF title belt and Jericho covers and wins the match officially. It’s Triple H’s theme song that plays through - it doesn’t matter who actually won, both Jericho and The Rock have been beaten down and left laying in the ring. 

Kurt Angle and Big Show

The Big Show faces Rikishi. Show is just dressed as himself tonight, but does have a little laugh and a dance on the way to the ring. He asks for a mic before the match and says he’d rather have a dance contest than a match and asks for the music to be played so he can go first. He dances to Rikishi’s music and he’s not very good but Rikishi does smile and laugh as the fans chant for him. Rikishi puts on his shades and takes his turn and yeah, he is much better than Big Show. Show jumps Rikishi as he dances and the match begins. I think he lost his temper because he was losing the dance contest. He avoids the Stink Face and does the Worm. In a rough looking spot, Rikishi clotheslines Show over the top rope and goes over with him and they both crash to ringside. The match ends via a double count out. Rikishi invites Show back to the ring and puts his own shades onto him. Show then puts a pair on Rikishi too and the two of them dance together. He’s definitely not a main eventer anymore but there’s no denying this version of Big Show is a lot more popular with the crowd.

Kurt Angle is shown watching from backstage in disgust. Rikishi ends this by repaying Show for the sneak attack before the match and drops Show with a superkick to the jaw, which he barely sells. Kevin Kelly interviews Kurt backstage and after some awkward promotion of the movie Gladiator, which had just come out, says that The Big Show is a joke now and has fallen so far since being WWF Champion. He’s not wrong, but he shouldn’t say it.

Kurt Angle challenges Chris Benoit for the Intercontinental Championship. It’s a short match where King and Cole talk mostly about who the lumberjacks will be later tonight. Benoit sets up his top rope headbutt until Big Show runs to the ring. He shoves Benoit off the top rope to the floor causing a disqualification and then chases Kurt Angle who barely escapes and sprints up the ramp away from Show.

The Dudleyz get another woman

Backstage, Lita and Chyna walk through the back and Chyna says that Eddie is in a good mood after passing his GED and is giving her and Esse Rios a second chance to be his partner again tonight. Their opponents are The Dudley Boyz, who’ll face T&A at Backlash.

They haven’t quite nailed the dynamic between Eddie and Chyna yet - she’s the one who picked him and said she can’t resist his Latino Heat but they’re still playing it like he wants her and she’s not that interested. Some more miscommunication has Lita take out Eddie Guerrero by mistake. That leads to a 3D on Esse and a victory for The Dudleyz. After the match, Chyna gets in Lita’s face and grabs her by the hair. The Dudleyz set up a table and Chyna actually offers Lita up to them - partially to escape herself but mostly to punish Lita for costing Eddie this match. Bubba gives Lita the same powerbomb off the top rope through the table that he gave to Terri and Mae Young and is currently obsessed with giving to Trish Stratus. This was by far the most vicious looking “woman being put through a table” spot so far too. I don't know why everyone hates Lita - Eddie Guerrero spiked her with a disgustingly stiff powerbomb on the outside of the ring a few weeks ago too.

Other Happenings

• Smackdown opens with Roaddogg in singles action against Roaddogg. It is now official that Roaddogg and X-Pac will challenge for the tag team titles at Backlash. This one starts heated with Edge fighting Roaddogg to the outside and throwing Roaddogg into the ring steps. Roaddogg wins a short match with a roll up and grabbing Edge’s tights. 
• Crash Holly went to the circus earlier today and as he heads back to the arena wearing a balloon crown and rubber ring around his waist, he’s jumped by a couple of clowns with a referee in disguise. The clowns are pretty obviously The Mean Street Posse. They all get near falls as they pummel him with punches but he keeps kicking out. They use their clown shoes as weapons but then turn on each other and fight over who gets the cover and the Houdini of Hardcore gets out of there. 

• The Godfather and D’Lo Brown enter alongside five hoes for a tag team match. Haven’t seen much of D’Lo on TV lately - he isn’t even dressed up like The Godfather anymore. Godfather’s pre match promo is cut off by the music of T&A and Trish Stratus. When the match does begin, Bubba Ray Dudley comes out onto the stage to watch. He starts slowly stalking towards the ring until D-Von comes out to try and talk him down and lead him backstage. D’Lo accidentally punches The Godfather, and that leads him easy pickings for a two-handed chokebomb from Albert. T&A win and after they leave, D’Lo turns on Godfather, laying him out with a Sky High powerbomb and then taunting, screaming “You suck!” in the pimps face. I like D’Lo more as a face but I’m just happy they’ve got him doing something again.
• Christian faces X-Pac, with Tori by his side. Its a good, back and forth match until Roaddogg runs down and distracts Christian as he sets up a reverse DDT. X-Pac capitalises with an X-Factor and wins the match, and then Edge runs in to fight Roaddogg. They two teams brawl and while DX picked up a pair of singles victories over the tag team champions, it’s the champions who clear them out of the ring.

Raw is War - April 24th, 2000

Vince returns

Out in the arena, WWF Champion Triple H, WWF Women’s Champion Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley and Shane McMahon arrive. Shane repeats his sentiment from last week about how much he loves Triple H these days. Their falling out doesn’t seem to have stuck, but we knew that from Smackdown surely? Vince is back though - he hasn’t been around the last couple of weeks due to a vague “European business trip”. He’ll be here tonight. Triple H defends all of his recent actions and rulings as he helps the McMahons run the company. Just as he’s about to announce something for tonight “in the interest of fairness”, Chris Jericho interrupts and says Triple H needs to apologise for boring the Jericholics half to death. Triple H is unimpressed, until Y2J calls Stephanie a “dirty, disgusting, brutal, bottom feeding, trash bag hoe” when he fires up.

Triple H rejects Jericho’s request for a rematch for the WWF title, but he and Shane do say they’ll face Y2J and The Rock in a tag team match tonight. Jericho snatches Triple H’s title belt, and when The Game jumps out of the ring to get it back, Jericho hits him with the belt! During the commercial break backstage, Jericho is attacked by the Intercontinental Champion Chris Benoit. He beats up Jericho and throws him into a concrete wall and says the IC title is another one Jericho will never get. JR mentions that they’re facing each other at Backlash for the title, which is the first mention of that. 

In a very long limo, Vince McMahon returns. After another of the Trish Stratus promos (see other happenings) he arrives out in the arena. He quickly recaps everything he’s missed while he was in Europe including Linda bringing back Stone Cold and slapping Stephanie, and Triple H then trying to Pedigree his wife until Shane stopped him. A dysfunctional family indeed. He keeps saying “In the interest of fairness” which is the new catchphrase. Vince says that Shane will no longer be Triple H’s partner tonight because he has other duties, so Triple H needs to find a new partner to face Jericho and Rock tonight. He then starts to try and drive a wedge between Rock and Austin before Backlash, reminding us of their previous feud and that it was The Rock’s stolen rental car that ran over Stone Cold at Survivor Series. He makes it sound like Rock ran over Austin and that neither of them should trust the other. The Rock has “stolen Stone Cold’s spot” so to speak. 

The Rock is interviewed and responds to Vince McMahon. He concedes that maybe he and Austin shouldn’t trust each other but neither of them trust Vince. He says that he isn’t worried about Stone Cold because Stone Cold is a man and if he had a problem with The Rock he’d say it to his face and wouldn’t screw him by being all sneaky. He’s right about that. The Rock promises to win the WWF Championship at Backlash. 

Ahead of the main event, Triple H doesn’t know who his partner is going to be. Y2J enters first followed by his partner The Rock. Triple H is next but before he steps in the ring, he introduces his partner - the Intercontinental Champion Chris Benoit. He then says that to avoid any screwy referee shenanigans, there’s a special referee for this match too - Shane McMahon! So that's the other duties Vince mentioned earlier. Finally, he brings out the man who’ll be in their corner tonight and his corner at Backlash, Vince McMahon. The match is a wild brawl and as it breaks down, The Rock hits Triple H with a Rock Bottom but Shane refuses to count. The Rock punches him out and then when Vince jumps him from behind he chases him off too. The Rock flattens Benoit with a spinebuster and as he prepares for a People’s Elbow, Vince kicks him low leading to a Pedigree and a three count from Shane. Triple H pins The Rock and he and Benoit win and celebrate to end Raw.

Kurt Angle and Big Show

Kurt Angle opens the show in the arena. He has a microphone and answers a hypothetical question - why has he set aside his quest for WWF gold to focus on The Big Show. The answer is simple - The Big Show is a big ass, and he does not like big asses. That brings him to his opponent tonight, Rikishi. He says Rikishi’s parents should have practised abstinence, which he preaches. Kurt impresses early with an overhead belly to belly suplex on the 400lbs man. Angle gets himself disqualified for shoving the referee, and then The Big Show runs down and flattens him with a sidewalk slam. Rikishi gives the Olympian a Stink Face and then he runs away, leaving Show and Rikishi in the ring.

They stare down and there's some tension after their interactions on Smackdown but tonight they’re friends as Show gives Rikishi his sunglasses and tells him to dance as Show leaves to pursue Kurt Angle. 

Kurt Angle goes to see the APA and asks if he can pay them money to beat up The Big Show. They tease him and then Bradshaw says that they don’t beat people up for money, they protect people for money. He tells them that they should cut back on the cigars, beer and women then maybe they would have a nicer office. They chase him out of their makeshift office with a hail of empty beer cans. He runs into Stephanie McMahon with the Bossman and Bull. After a funny little reminder of Bossman’s previous feud with Big Show, Stephanie books them in a handicap match against Big Show tonight. 

The Big Show faces The Big Bossman and Bull Bucanan in a handicap match. There’s no more mention of Bossman and Big Show’s history than there was in the brief backstage segment. Show actually easily dominates both men and sets up a double chokeslam but he’s hit from behind by Kurt Angle with a low blow, causing the disqualification. Kurt then very impressively gives Show the Olympic slam and the three heels kick and stomp him but until the APA arrive to chase off their own PPV opponents Bossman and Bull. 

Trish flirts with Wood

Backstage, Trish Stratus wearing lingerie gives an innuendo laden promo about tables and how long, firm and hard they are. She’s taunting Bubba Ray Dudley. In truth, this promo is legendary for wrestling fans of a certain age. There's no male wrestling fan over the age of 30 who didn’t watch this dozens of times at the time. I dare say Trish helped millions of young men and women realise just how much they liked girls in this moment. She does a couple of these throughout the show in different lingerie, talking about the importance of rubbing your wood. Ahem. 

The Dudley Boyz face Edge and Christian in a non-title match. Bubba and D-Von have their feud with T&A and Edge and Christian will defend against DX at Backlash. I keep recapping the card because with everyone and everything crossing over to match it can be easy to get muddled. Trish Stratus comes out and dances on a table at the top of the ramp which distracts Bubba and allows Edge to pin D-Von after a Spear. Trish continues to taunt Bubba.

Other Happenings

• Eddie Guerrero and Chyna get ready for Eddie’s prom after passing his GED exam. Eddie has a tuxedo t-shirt and a green blazer jacket, which Chyna is unimpressed with. Later, Eddie appears from behind the changing curtain in black with a red leather jacket on. Chyna still isn’t keen and tells him to try on a tuxedo instead, while she tries on the red dress. In the final of these backstage segments, Eddie looks very handsome in his tux and Chyna looks amazing in a tight red dress. They get into a little giggle flirtation while Eddie gets dressed for his match. 

• Roaddogg doesn’t have X-Pac with him tonight due to a family tragedy, says JR. I looked online and I couldn’t find out what it was. He’s facing Chris Benoit in a weird heel vs. heel match. They’re both either in or close with the McMahon-Helmsley faction too so this is an odd one. Before the match begins, Edge and Christian come out. They defend the tag team titles against Roaddogg and X-Pac at Backlash. The tag champions join commentary to watch and continue to show off their new brash attitudes. Tori comes out during this match and they call her trailer trash and a skank. Edge and Christian pick their moment and with Benoit on the outside, they run in and Edge flattens Roaddogg with a Spear leaving him easy pickings for a Benoit diving headbutt from the top rope and a victory for the Intercontinental Champion. After he leaves, Edge and Christian beat up Roaddogg two on one. Tori grabs Christian by the hair, so he flattens her with a reverse DDT! Edge and Christian aren’t playing around. 
• Matt and Jeff Hardy come out to a huge reaction - Raw is in their hometown this week. They’re facing the team of Crash and Hardcore Holly who seem to be friends again after all of Hardcore’s attempts to cash in on the 24/7 Hardcore title stipulation. Hardcore has apparently swore “on the Holly family name” that he won’t try that again tonight. They will be opponents at Backlash in a four way Hardcore title match that also involves Tazz and Perry Saturn. A shot to Jeff Hardy’s back with a trash can lid gives The Holly Cousins a victory in what must be considered an upset. As they leave ,Matt and Jeff grab Crash and try to win the Hardcore title! Perry Saturn runs down to join in too, followed by Tazz. Hardcore comes back down too and all six men scrap to win the Hardcore title. Jeff Hardy hits a Swanton Bomb on Crash but it's Matt Hardy who covers and Matt Hardy wins the Hardcore title. He grabs the belt and runs away while Tazz, Saturn and Hardcore continue fighting in the ring. Let the record books show that Matt was the first Hardy to win singles gold in the WWF. 

• The Godfather enters with Al Snow. Snow is dressed like The Godfather. Apparently after ALL that build up for his and Steve Blackman’s team, they quietly split up last night on Sunday Night Heat. So with D’Lo turning on Godfather on Smackdown both these men needed new partners and have found them. Their opponents are their former partners - D’Lo Brown and Steve Blackman. A short disjoined match what D’Lo wins for his team with a roll up on Al Snow. After the match Snow tries to dance with the hoes anyway but Godfather is angry to have lost and beats up Snow too. I guess no one wants to be his friend. 
• Eddie Guerrero faces Val Venis in a non-title match. Lita, who was put through a table on Smackdown thanks to Chyna, limps down to the ring and with Esse Rios distracting her, Lita gives her a really painful crossbody from the top rope to the floor! Brutal. Eddie gets rolled up by Val Venis and then Rios and Lita get some kicks in at the European champion before running off. A hit and run ahead of the European title match at Backlash. 

Smackdown! - April 27th, 2000

Stone Cold! Stone Cold! 

Out in the parking lot, D-Generation X and the entire McMahon family arrive aboard the DX Express bus. They don’t show the bus every week but it's important that it's here tonight. 

The Rock arrives in the arena wearing one of his trademark loud, expensive looking shirts. He says that he’s expecting Triple H to try and soften him up again tonight so he wastes no time and just challenges him to come out and get it over with. Triple H leads the entire McMahon-Helmsley-DX contingent out and he says that he’s sick of beating up The Rock and that he needs to relax. They’re all taking the night off (apart from Roaddogg who has a match with Christian) and The Rock should just relax. Vince basically says the same thing, before adding that Shane McMahon will referee the main event of Backlash. The Rock then says that he spoke to Stone Cold, who doesn’t want to wait til Backlash. The crowd absolutely explodes. He adds that Stone Cold is here, tonight. Vince looks like he’s seen a ghost but then calls The Rock a liar. The Rock guarantees that he will win the title at Backlash, just like he guarantees that Austin is here tonight. The McMahon-Helmsley regime look very worried. After the break, The Rock leaves the arena and gets in his car and leaves with a smirk to the camera. Elsewhere in the parking lot, the McMahon’s find a pair of Stone Cold foam fingers on the windscreen wipers of the DX express. 

On board the DX express, Vince shares his paranoia that something bad is going to happen tonight. 

Backstage, a paranoid Vince has the rest of the McMahon’s and DX go looking for Stone Cold. Shane gets a fright from a Stone Cold cardboard cutout. Elsewhere, Stephanie runs into Kurt Angle and the two have a little awkward flirtation. Stephanie is jumpy too looking for Austin. There’s multiple segment with Shane and Triple H finding a cupboard full of empty beer cans, and Vince getting a message on his pager that reads “3:16”

As the McMahon-Helmsleys continue their chase of Austin, Tori hears music and says it's him. They approach a locker room where the Stone Cold song from the Aggression CD can be heard (which is decent, Scoop Dogg did that one!) and they burst in ready for a fight to find a boombox, which Triple H destroys.

The McMahons and Triple H are brought outside the arena to receive a special delivery. Vince barks for “Austin” and when they get outside the delivery is for cement. The driver says its to be poured into a corvette (like back in the day). Vince chases him off. Later, JR is on the phone to someone who he can’t wait to see and Vince berates him demanding to know who he’s speaking to assuming that it’s Austin. In the final of these paranoid segments, they return to the locker room and find a rattlesnake waiting for them.

The Rock, having left the arena earlier, arrives back in his limo and that's enough for the McMahons to all head out to the ring. Shane McMahon says they’ve all had enough and demands Austin come out and face them. Shane, Vince, Triple, H, Stephanie, Tori and Roaddogg nervously pace. Vince screams for Stone Cold to come to the ring. Then Triple H does the same. Realising that Austin wasn’t going to come out, Triple H tells The Rock to come out instead so they can take their anger out on him instead. The Rock does eventually come out - this was a long, time filling segment honestly. The Rock says he’s loved watching them getting all worked up and paranoid all night, but he promised that Austin was here and he always keeps his promises. He builds up to revealing Stone Cold on the titantron! He’s here, he’s out in the parking lot.

He says he’s been sitting out in the parking lot all night. He says that he will be on the same side at Backlash he always has been on and this his own. He then gives us a demonstration of the Austin Decontruction Company and, with a crane, drops a huge steel beam into the roof of the DX Express bus causing it to explode. It didn’t look great - it actually looked very fake and should have just crushed the bus instead - but a cool moment in theory. Smackdown ends on smoke and flame billowing out of the now exploded DX Express. 

Hardcore Championship and Trish escapes Bubba Ray again

In a backstage segment, Hardcore Holly reveals to Crash that both Matt and Jeff Hardy are now in the Hardcore title match at Backlash, and then they head out to the ring together to face the team of T&A. Test wins a short match with a big boot on Crash Holly and then as T&A leave with Trish they’re attacked by The Dudleyz with a pair of chairs. Bubba and D-Von might finally put Trish through a table and as Bubba has her up for the powerbomb, she plants kisses on him again, freezing him in place. It delays him long enough for Test to rescue her, and Albert once again drives Bubba through the table.

Matt Hardy defends the Hardcore Championship against Jeff Hardy. They shake hands before the match, but then Matt hits him with a trash can. This is great fun and as the two hit each other with trash cans and jump off ladders onto each other, their opponents at Backlash all file down to watch at ringside. After Jeff takes out Matt, Crash Holly slides in and covers him under the 24/7 rules and regains his Hardcore title before sprinting to the back. 

The Radicals hold down the midcard titles

In the opening match, European Champion Eddie Guerrero teams up with Mamacita Chyna to face Val Venis and Esse Rios with the lovely Lita. This is a short, fun match and Esse actually pins Eddie Guerrero after a distraction from Lita and some miscommunication. Lita gives Eddie a moonsault after the match and the two escape unscathed.

Dean Malenko challenges Scotty 2 Hotty for the Light Heavyweight Championship. There was a triple threat on Sunday night heat also involving Taka Michinoku which Scotty retained so this is his second defence. These two were also scheduled to meet at Backlash but it has been moved up to tonight because Dean can’t wait. It’s a short match and, to my shock, Dean regains the title by rolling up and grabbing the middle rope for leverage. Poor Scotty.

Chris Jericho and Tazz face Intercontinental Champion Chris Benoit and Perry Saturn. The Radicals are super aggressive and Benoit hits Jericho with the title belt behind the referees back and he locks Tazz in the Crippler Crossface but Y2J breaks that hold up. The chaos breaks down and while Tazz and Saturn brawl at the announce table, Jericho finishes off Benoit with a Lionsault in the ring to pin the Intercontinental Champion.

Other Happenings

• Roaddogg vs. Christian. X-Pac is still missing due to a family emergency, and Triple H has said that if Edge gets involved in this match then he and Christian will be stripped of their tag team titles. The match starts fast out on the floor and Roaddogg wins a short match clean as a whistle with the pumphandle slam. After the bell, Roadogg punches the referee and continues the beating on Christian throwing him ribs first into the ring post and then the ring steps all while hitting him with a barrage of punches to the head. The referee actually reverses his decision and awards the match to Christian.
• Kurt Angle heads to the ring and talks about his issues with The Big Show. He doesn’t hate The Big Show, he just feels sorry for him for not living up to his expectations. He is teaming up with Bossman and Bull to face the team of Rikishi and The Big Show in a three on two handicap match. Show and Rikishi work well as a team and are really friendly with each other, high fiving between moves. Bull bares the brunt taking a Stink Face and then a massive chokeslam from Show to end the match. The pair put sunglasses on and get ready to do Rikishi’s post-match dance but they’re jumped by Bossman with his nightstick. Angle gets a bunch of cheap shots on The Big Show until the APA runs down to fight and brawl with Bossman and Bull. Angle escapes and with the APA chasing the men in black away, Rikishi and Show do get to complete their victory dance. The fans are really into the new fun loving babyface Big Show. 

• Al Snow tries to make up with Steve Blackman backstage but Blackman has decided that Snow is a lunatic and he wants nothing to do with him. Later, during Steve Blackman vs. The Godfather. Al Snow comes down dressed as Steve Blackman and uses nunchucks, getting Blackman disqualified.