Raw - May 20th 2002

Undisputed Championship Main Event

In the arena, Rob Van Dam heads down to the ring for the opening match but before he even gets to the bottom of the ramp he’s attacked from behind by the new WWE Undisputed Champion The Undertaker who gives RVD a wicked beating all around the ring, busting him open above the eye and laying him out with a shot to the head from the ringsteps. Referees scramble to end the attack but they can’t and it's only when the Undertaker’s done that he stops. He gets in the ring and asks if he has everyone’s attention? He says he’s the new champion and so Raw should be opening with him, not with Rob Van Dam. That seems like a petty reason to attack a person.

He says he’ll come to the ring and do and say what he likes and if anyone gets in his way they’ll either get out of his way or get their ass kicked. He didn’t even give RVD a chance to choose! He says that if anyone doubts him they can go and ask Hulk Hogan after he killed Hulkamania last night (with help from a steel chair and Vince McMahon) and shares the rumour that Hogan will be on Smackdown to announce his retirement, which JR confirms is a legit rumor. He says that the number one rule in the WWE is that you must respect The Undertaker. He talks for a while and RVD eventually makes his way to the feel and crawls into the ring. He catches the new champion off guard with punches and a spinning heel kick and the referees have to save Undertaker from a bloody Van Dam! He shows no fear and knocks down Taker with a jumping kick and crashes onto him with a Five Star Frog Splash. The referees eventually manage to subdue RVD who looks mega strong here, overcoming that sneak attack and actually winning a fight with the Undertaker 24 hours into his 4th WWE title reign.

Backstage after a commercial break, Undertaker bursts into Ric Flair’s office and says that RVD disrespected him the same way Austin disrespected him! Taker wants Van Dam tonight so Ric agrees and makes the match for the Undisputed title. Undertaker suddenly hesitates - he didn’t want to put the title on the line, he just wanted a match!

In the trainers office the doctor cleans up RVD’s cut and tells him that he should think twice about wrestling tonight but RVD is pissed and says that with the title on the line he’ll show Undertaker he messed with the wrong man.

In the main event, new WWE Undisputed Champion The Undertaker defends against Rob Van Dam. RVD starts early, jumping over the ropes onto the Undertaker and winning the fight at ringside but back in the ring Undertaker slows things down and controls the tempo. RVD fights back over and over scoring quick near falls from his flurries of offence. RVD hits a Rolling Thunder and covers and gets the three! The fans go nuts, but not as loud as they should be because Undertaker’s foot was on the rope so we all see this coming.

RVD celebrates with the title belt as Raw Owner Ric Flair comes to the ring and says that Undertaker’s foot was on the ropes and so the match has to continue. RVD knocks Flair down with a punch but a recovered Undertaker spikes Van Dam with a Last Ride to officially win the match and retain the Undisputed title in a good match which was too short to be more than that.

nWo Leadership

Matt and Jeff Hardy take on the nWo team of Big Show and X-Pac, accompanied by newest nWo member Booker T. Big Show dominates Matt and Jeff and seems to have the match won but Goldust comes down - dressed as Elvis - still trying to win Booker T over to be his partner. His distraction allows Jeff to win the match with a roll up on X-Pac!

Backstage afterwards, Big Show, X-Pac and Booker T argue over who’s fault the loss is all while Goldust stands by still dressed as Elvis. He asks to join the nWo and is told a flat no by all three men. They argue over who the leader of the nWo should be and Booker says that tonight he’ll do what Show and Pac couldn’t do by beating The Hardyz! Busy night for Matt and Jeff.

Booker T and Goldust take on Matt and Jeff later in their second match of the night. Goldust is taking this seriously and sees it as his chance to earn a spot in the nWo alongside Booker T. The match doesn’t last long before X-Pac and Big Show come down and hit Goldust leading to him being rolled up and losing to the Hardyz too. Two victories for Matt and Jeff in one night over the nWo.

After a commercial break, the four of them are still in the ring and arguing. X-Pac calls out Booker for being too busy trying to get laid at Judgment Day to help them out with Austin. Booker calls them jealous. Big Show says that they didn’t want him in the group and he’d be happy to take him out of it. Booker fires up and tells Show to bring it! They’re all about to fight when the nWo music hits and Kevin Nash returns to calm things down! Nash gets in Booker’s face and says that Flair put the nWo t-shirt on him, not them! He calls out Show and X-Pac for not having his back and for making the black and white pathetic. He says that the nWo logo was the most feared logo in wrestling and it can be again if they just listen to him. Nash is back and the nWo has some leadership. Booker seems hesitant to join but he does when Nash says they’d be happy to make room for a five time World Champion like him. The nWo is united behind leader Kevin Nash and they all shake hands and hug, back on the same page. It won’t last, but we’ll get to that when we get to it!

Rough Night for the Rattlesnake

Raw Owner Ric Flair heads down to the ring with his confidant Arn Anderson. He’s promised he has a curveball for Stone Cold tonight. Flair says that they might have failed last night but he’s not done with the Rattlesnake and Plan B goes into effect tonight. He calls Stone Cold out to the ring and Austin marches down. Arn Anderston stops him and tells him that before he does anything foolish, he needs to remember that Ric has backup. I’m sure he’s terrified. Ric Flair says that he tried to do what Vince did and stack the deck against him but he won’t make that mistake again - he’s going to take him out of matches entirely. He’s going to deprive Stone Cold of what makes him tick and what makes him himself. The fans chant “asshole” as Ric continues and says Stone Cold is now “benched” and tells him to get out of his sight.

Austin doesn’t speak and instead starts throwing punches and drops both Anderston and Flair with a pair of Stone Cold Stunners! The Rattlesnake will leave but he’ll kick some ass on the way out and calls for a couple of beers to toast his fallen boss before he leaves the ring. Later after a couple of segments, Stone Cold and Debra arrive at a local bar and start throwing back beers. In the next segment, Intercontinental Champion Eddie Guerrero is in the same bar and sends a beer over to Stone Cold and a teddy bear over to Debra. Austin takes great offence at another man buying his wife a teddy bear. Debra tries to calm down her husband and says she wants to have a fun night and tells him to go up on karaoke and sing her a song.

He’s cut off by Eddie Guerrero and the Rattlesnake and Latino Heat have an argument but Debra convinces Austin to back down and not get physical. 

In the final Stone Cold at the bar segment, there’s a big edit as sadly the show has edited out Austin signing. Eddie was heckling him so the Rattlesnake went over to confront him. He knows he can’t sing, he’s just having fun. He says he’ll sing another just so it pisses off Guerrero and so Eddie attacks Austin from behind, smashing a beer bottle on the back of his head! 

Other Happenings

• Raw opens with a tribute to the British Bulldog. He passed away at 39 years old on May 19th, 2002. The tribute is narrated by Vince McMahon, it’s factual and without a great deal of emotion and he describes his life as “tumultuous” and says he struggled. That’s true, and it feels like a cynical attempt by the WWE to distance themselves from a man who had significant substance abuse issues on their watch. 
• Backstage as Trish Stratus stretches before her match, Paul Heyman approaches and is super creepy to her, talking about seeing her in her underwear on Smackdown and how much he enjoyed them both being so physical and winning their respective matches at Judgment Day.

• He asks her out on a date but she blows him off and heads out to the ring for her match which is a WWE Women’s title defence against two-time champion Jacqueline. Trish wins a short back and forth clean with her Stratusfaction bulldog and she and Jackie shake hands after the match. As she’s still in the ring, Paul Heyman comes out leading the Next Big Thing Brock Lesnar behind him. He basically makes it clear to Trish - either she goes on a date with Heyman or Brock will make her suffer. What a horrible storyline and I’m not sure how helping Heyman sexually assault women is going to make Brock a star. Trish stands her ground and says no so Brock goes into the ring and corners the women’s champion. She’s rescued by her recent ally Bubba Ray Dudley and there’s a staredown. Brock wants the fight but Heyman grabs him and tries to calm him down, apparently concerned Bubba might be too much for the Next Big Thing to handle. 
• There’s another pre-recorded “A day in the life of Tommy Dreamer” video. Last week he shared a toothbrush with his dog and shaved his tongue. This week he goes for a haircut and eats his own hair, hair gel and drinks the barbercide tool cleaning stuff. Pretty repulsive. 

• William Regal, accompanied by the virginal Molly Holly, defends the European Championship against Bubba Ray Dudley. Bubba controls the match but then seems like he’s going to get himself disqualified by getting a table. He’s jumped by Brock Lesnar who drills him with an F5 in the ring. Bubba wins by DQ and Regal keeps his title. Molly hands him his brass knuckles and after Brock and Heyman have left, he punches Bubba Ray in the back of the head for good measure, knocking him out.

• Raven joins commentary and much to my delight, immediately picks a fight with Jerry Lawler basically calling him a pervert who never talks about wrestling and doesn’t know anything about women either otherwise his wife wouldn’t have left him. Yes, thank you Raven. He’s here just to show King how it’s done and sarcastically asks if he can even commentate on the next match if there’s no puppies involved. Raven stays out for the next few segments, bickering and arguing with King the whole time. That eventually leads to Raven getting in the ring with a microphone and accusing Lawler of knowing nothing about wrestling and only talking about puppies. He challenges King to a match. If this seems out of the blue, you’re right but the show is in Jerry Lawler’s hometown. Lawler accepts the match.

• Jerry Lawler vs. Raven is surprisingly heated. King actually dominates and so Raven takes a walk, getting himself counted out and giving Lawler the victory. The fans chant “Raven’s gay” to hammer home that we are indeed in the South. They were chanting homophobic stuff at Goldust too. 

Smackdown - May 23th 2002

R.I.P. Hulkamania? 

Mark Lloyd interviews the new Undisputed Champion The Undertaker who says that being champion makes him the best in the world and that everyone needs to respect him. Anyone who steps up will be put down but no one has the guts to step up to him. Mark shows footage from Raw and asks for his reaction to almost losing the title to RVD? He calls Mark a smartass and says he’s not here to talk about that, he’s here to watch the death of Hulkamania. It was rumored on Raw but it’s been confirmed tonight that Hollywood Hulk Hogan will indeed announce his retirement tonight.

Backstage, Stacy tells Mr. McMahon that the kiss with Test meant nothing (See Other Happenings) but he’s not even listening. Nothing can ruin his mood tonight because he’s so happy that Hulk Hogan is retiring tonight and he’ll finally be rid of Hulkamania. 

In the main event segment of the show, Hollywood Hulk Hogan makes his full entrance. Considering this is just a promo segment, it's odd that he's in his full ring gear and does his full pre-match entrance including shirt rip. This has been hyped up all night long as his retirement and the end of Hulkamania. Hogan spends a long time milking the crowd reaction, as usual and lets them cheer and chant Hogan until they’re sick of it.

He does work up to a very sincere and final-feeling promo talking about his history and the length of his career. He even uses his real name and talks about his father passing away at Christmas. It’s classic Hogan as he talks about how much his dad would light up for Raw on Mondays and Smackdown on Thursdays - Hogan hadn’t worked for the WWF for 8 years at that point so if anything it would have been WCW Nitro and Thunder. He says his dad’s last words were that he needs to go back to the WWF and he tears up while talking about it. I’m trying not to be too cynical but Hogan is such a practiced liar, using the memory of his dead father to elicit a reaction is exactly the kind of thing he’d do. It’s a nice and emotional promo which he ends by saying thank you, goodbye and that he hopes Hulkamania will live forever. He’s posing and it feels like the end until Vince McMahon’s music hits and the owner of Smackdown struts to the ring. He cost him the title at Judgment Day and now he’s here to ruin his retirement.

Vince tells Hogan that he can’t retire and he won’t let him. He says that 10 years ago, Hogan walked out on him and it won’t happen again - if he retires, he’ll sue Hogan and his family for every penny they have! Vince says that he created Hulk Hogan and he owns Hulkamania and he’s going to milk it until the day Hogan dies. Hogan pulls Vince in and says that he may retire won day but it won’t be until he kicks Vince’s ass. He knocks him down and starts to whip Vince with his weight lifter belt but the Undisputed Champion Undertaker runs down to attack. Hogan fights Undertaker off and clotheslines him out of the ring, standing tall in the ring as Undertaker and Vince collect themselves on the ramp. Hulkamania lives, and there will be no retirement tonight. 

Triple H

Smackdown opens with Triple H, fresh off his Hell in a Cell victory at Judgment Day. He’s obviously not at 100% and both his left arm and leg are heavily taped but he’s wrestling Lance Storm anyway. Lance has some comments before the match basically saying Triple H got lucky. You can see how much smoke there still was in the arena from the show opening pyro during his entrance in the picture.

Triple H is sore and Storm takes advantage, working over The Game. He guts it out and scores with a Pedigree to win the match. 

Mark Lloyd interviews Triple H later about his Hell in a Cell match and his victory over Lance Storm earlier. Triple H says that Jericho and Storm are in his rear view mirror and his focus is back firmly on the Undisputed Championship. He’s distracted by Lance Storm and then jumped from behind by Test with a Big Boot.

Bald Olympian

Backstage, Christian gives Kurt Angle a pep talk. They’re careful not to show us Kurt’s new look after Edge shaved his head at Judgment Day, keeping the camera low and then hiding his head behind a mirror. Kurt heads out into the arena but doesn’t come out the first couple of times his theme song plays, eventually walking out with a full head of hair! He has a classic wrestling headgear holding a big bushy wig on.

Kurt calls his hair growing back so quickly a miracle, makes a joke about how the only pathetic bald person we’ll see tonight is Hulk Hogan. Kurt’s about to leave when Maven comes out and tells Kurt that there’s no shame in being bald and he should take his silly wig off. Kurt dares Maven to come down and say that to his face so he does - because he’s a babyface - and runs to the ring but is quickly taken down and German suplexed by Kurt who escapes with his wig still in place. Edge runs down behind Kurt and attacks, trying to pull off the wig but Angle is rescued by Christian. 

That sets up a tag team match later with Maven and Edge vs. Kurt Angle and Christian. This is a spirited match and the action is good. Maven does a good job keeping up with the three much more experienced and talented workers. Torrie Wilson and Trish Stratus are shown watching the match together backstage presumably discussing Torrie’s date with Maven and how that went. Maven gets a big upset, rolling up Christian while Edge and Angle fight on the outside. Big win for Maven.

Supervillain in the Shadows

Backstage, Chavo Guerrero is watching footage from Raw as his uncle Eddie smashed a beer bottle on Stone Cold’s head and laughing about it. He’s accosted by ace reporter Gregory Helms who asks if he is the man leaving threatening notes for The Hurricane? Chavo says he doesn’t need to leave notes and will beat Hurricane in person tonight. Helms finds another note for The Hurricane which includes a clue - a packet of beef jerky. The plot thickens.

The Hurricane defends the WWE Cruiserweight Championship against Chavo Guerrero. This match is the debut of the new Cruiserweight title belt replacing the WCW one that had been used since the Invasion. I think it's a good looking belt. It’s a short match but it's good and Hurricane picks up the win and retains the title with a flipping neckbreaker off the middle rope which Michael Cole tells us is called the Overcast, a name I’ve never heard in my life.

Other Happenings

• Stacy Keibler goes to see Test and asks if he’ll do Vince McMahon a favour and teach Randy Orton a lesson tonight. Stacy describes Randy as handsome with a good body. Vince’s vendetta against Randy is inspired entirely by the fact that his personal assistant has the hots for him. Test gives Stacy a big kiss - he obviously isn’t worried about the same kind of vendetta thanks to his immunity he won at Survivor Series. 
• After a commercial break, Stacy Keibler is already at ringside and dancing on the announce desk in a short skirt as Tazz and Cole giggle and make erection jokes. This is basically all she was used for in WCW and she (and all women) deserves better than this. She joins commentary to watch Test vs. Randy Orton. It’s a more even match than his ones with Hardcore Holly and gives Randy a chance to show what he can do. Test wins with a new finishing move, a sort of spinning reverse DDT.

• Backstage, Billy and Chuck tell Rico not to get too attached to his new WWE Tag Team title gold because they’ll be getting the belts back ASAP. Rico says that he’s a champion by default and that the gold doesn’t even go with any of his clothes! They all hug but Billy and Chuck don’t seem convinced by his words. 
• Backstage a bashed and bruised Chris Jericho approaches Faarooq and says he’s just the man he was looking for. Faarooq asks if he’s high? Jericho wants to hire Faarooq for protection because he’s not physically able to fight anyone tonight. Faarooq doesn’t do that anymore and tells him the only thing he has to pay is attention. Jericho’s opponent tonight is the World’s Strongest Man Mark Henry. Later, Jericho went to see Mr. McMahon to try and get the match cancelled because he’s so beat up but Vince gives him a pep talk instead. This is his big moment to prove how great he is! 

• Reverend D-Von (who has a new theme song with lyrics) with the metal money box wielding Deacon Batista takes on Rikishi, with his newly won WWE Tag Team title belt. D-Von lectures Rikishi on his disgusting, sinful appearance and tells him to cover up. Funny stuff. As the match goes on, Rikishi’s tag team partner Rico comes down to get a closer look followed by his clients and former champions Billy and Chuck. This now seems like a five on one scenario for Rikishi. That is the case as Rico hits his own partner with the tag title belt allowing D-Von to win the match. He sarcastically “checks on his partner” afterwards and shares a laugh with Billy and Chuck at Rikishi’s misfortune.

• During the show they promote a new weekly show -Velocity - which is Smackdown’s equivalent of Sunday Night Heat. A secondary show for showcase matches for lesser used talents. The main event of the very first episode? Trish defends the women’s title in a bra and panties match against Stacy Keibler.

• A badly beat up and bandaged Chris Jericho vs. Mark Henry feels like a mismatch. I know Triple H also had to compete tonight but his match was with Lance Storm, not the World’s Strongest Man! The valiant underdog…heel? Michael Cole’s theory is that this is punishment for Jericho because he didn’t beat Triple H and that Vince manipulated him. That’s quite clever honestly. Jericho is overmatched but with the referee distracted by an exposed turnbuckle he grabs a steel chair and uses it on Mark to win the match. 

Raw - May 27th 2002

Ladders and Welcoming Committee

This episode of Raw takes place in Edmonton Alberta, Canada. The show opens with Chris Benoit, seeing as this is his hometown. This is his first appearance since King of the Ring 2001 after having neck surgery and he was officially drafted to Smackdown but is still on the injury list, according to JR. This also marks the debut of his Our Lady Peace theme song, Whatever which is a GREAT song. I discussed my feelings on Chris Benoit back when he first debuted in February 2000 but since it’s been a while - I do find watching his work quite difficult after the horrific events of July 2007. It’s quite nauseating to see the fans in his hometown give him a very loud and positive reaction. I’ll do my best to recap his words and actions without commentary or inflection and while he was one of the most gifted wrestlers of all time in his day, I don’t want to be heaping praise on him. That feels icky. Benoit says basically what you’d expect - he isn’t cleared but will be soon and even though he’s a Smackdown guy he couldn’t resist turning up tonight in his hometown. Benoit’s former friend and Radical, Intercontinental Champion Eddie Guerrero saunters down to the ring. JR says that Stone Cold isn’t here yet, which he thinks explains why Eddie is brave enough to come out here after smashing a bottle on the Rattlesnake’s head last week. Eddie says he missed Benoit, but mostly missed his jealousy. Eddie is the more talented wrestler, he’s got all the charisma and he’s got all the Latino Heat! He brags about having beat RVD for the Intercontinental title, and taking out Stone Cold last week. Benoit tells him one of those might change tonight - Eddie is scheduled to defend the title later in the show against Van Dam in a Ladder match. Benoit sarcastically wishes him luck against RVD and tells him he’s a real tough guy, attacking Austin from behind and then running away. They’re about to come to blows when Raw Owner Ric Flair comes to the ring and calls Benoit an animal. He teases the crowd with the idea of Benoit vs. Guerrero tonight, and with the arrival of Stone Cold before saying neither thing is happening. Austin’s wife has a family emergency but even if he does turn up he has a welcoming committee waiting because he is benched. He tells Benoit that he refuses to let a Smackdown superstar play a part in his show and then calls security - they take an ice age to come to the ring so it gets a little awkward - and escort Benoit from the arena. He’s ejected from the building during the commercial break.

Out in the parking lot, Jonathan Coachman is waiting for the arrival of Stone Cold Steve Austin. He finds Raven and asks if he has any information. Raven says that it’s not a family emergency - it’s Stone Cold himself. He can hide his pain no longer and says only Raven can see the pain within. I’m not sure where that’s going but it turns out that’s oddly accurate.

Coach is still waiting for Austin’s arrival - a car shows up and everyone gets excited assuming its him but it's Howard Finkle. The Fink was running late and got a ride from “some guy named Phil”

In Ric Flair’s office, Eddie Guerrero tries to convince him to cancel the ladder match in case he gets hurt. He’s nervous about that and about Stone Cold showing up tonight. Flair assures him that the welcoming committee is in place and won’t let Austin into the building. 

In the main event, Eddie Guerrero defends the Intercontinental title in a ladder match against RVD. I can’t really do this justice as it’s very good, obviously. The ladder is introduced very early on the outside and Eddie focuses his attack on Van Dam’s legs to stop his mostly-kicks based offence and make it harder for him to climb the ladder. He uses a steel chair trapping it against the ring post too. This match is infamous as during it while Eddie is climbing the ladder a fan jumps into the ring and shoves it over. Thankfully Eddie landed on his feet and got in some brutal, stiff shots to the fan’s head as he’s dragged from the ring by security. He’s a clip of RVD talking about that moment years later.

As the match continues, Chris Benoit returns, coming through the crowd to sit in the front row and watch this match up close. He even has a ticket. The match is fantastic as they use the ladder to great effect with a tiltawhirl slam onto the ladder, a Rolling Thunder, a sunset flip powerbomb off the ladder and Eddie coming down with a sort of slingshot flipping senton which got a big reaction from the fans and commentators. There’s also great use of the overhead Wile E. Coyote cam which everyone loves, but apparently Vince never liked.

The finish is slightly botched as the ladder is so beaten up, when RVD climbs it to drop a Five Star Frog Splash on Eddie it collapses underneath him. They quickly recover and Rob throws Eddie out of the ring, climbs the ladder and pulls down the title belt to win the match and regain the Intercontinental title in a great match. Here’s a little dramatic recap of the match which was shown the following week so you can see the highlights.

Sore loser Eddie attacks Rob after the match with the ladder but Stone Cold is finally here and rushes the ring to attack Latino Heat. Ric Flair and Arn Anderston follow but Austin has no problem fighting off two old men and a man who was just in a ladder match. Chris Benoit jumps the barrier and gets in the ring to back up Stone Cold…before attacking him from behind, turning heel in his hometown. Benoit slams Austin in the middle of the ring so Eddie can crash down onto him with a Frog Splash and Raw ends with Eddie and Benoit hugging over a fallen Rattlesnake. A great main event, a big title change and then some chaotic storyline developments afterwards.

Undisputed Gross-out

In the ring, Tommy Dreamer is in the arena this week and after the past two weeks of doing gross things at home he wants to show everyone that he’s a normal guy. He asks a fan in the front row for a bite of his hotdog and makes a real meal of it, knocking it on the floor and even stepping on it as he climbs the barrier. He still eats it. His good times and comedy is interrupted by the Undisputed Champion The Undertaker.

His new theme music has been updated and has a much cooler electric guitar riff running through it now. Much better than what he had at Judgment Day and last week. Taker slowly walks to the ring and seems unamused by Tommy’s disgusting antics. He tells Tommy that he needs to leave before he gets his ass kicked because this is the Undertaker’s time. Tommy won’t leave so Undertaker says that if Hogan and RVD didn’t take up his time, what makes Dreamer think he can? He’s about to do as he’s asked but then Undertaker changes his mind and asks if Dreamer would like a shot at the Undisputed WWE Championship? He won’t give him one of course - he’s not worthy, just like no one else in the back is worthy. But he has a challenge for Tommy since he likes to do disgusting things (Tommy doesn’t think they’re disgusting) he tells him to drink Undertaker’s tobacco spit, which he has in a plastic cup. I think chewing tobacco is one of the most disgusting things in the world anyway but a cup full of Undertaker’s spit mixed with it is repulsive. That’s too much even for Dreamer but Undertaker tells him he needs to do it or he’ll be sending him to the hospital. Undertaker spots a huge lump into the cup just so we all know it’s legit and, gagging, Tommy does as he’s told. He drinks the WHOLE cup and even Undertaker looks shocked and disgusted! Tommy says it’s actually quite tasty, so Undertaker punches him in the face. Disgusting doesn’t do it justice honestly - that's one of the worst things I’ve ever seen. Undertaker beats Dreamer up anyway even after bullying him and finishes by wrapping a steel chair around his neck and shoulders and running him violently into the ringpost. That’s one of those spots that looks like it hurt like hell but was perfectly safe. Some of the fans chant “Taker” because Canadians love violence apparently. 

nWo’s winning ways

Backstage, Kevin Nash has a pep talk for the rest of the nWo and tells them that if they don’t win their matches tonight then they get beaten up. Show laughs at the idea of Nash beating him up. Booker asks if he can keep his own theme song because he doesn’t really like the nWo theme music. Nash isn’t bothered and tells him to just win the match. After Booker and X-Pac leave, Goldust is shown hiding nearby and eavesdropping on the conversation.

Booker T and X-Pac (who do enter to Booker’s theme, but he does at least have nice new nWo trunks) take on The Hardy Boyz. X-Pac is still wearing Kane’s mask in victory which he stole a few weeks ago. Kane is still recuperating from surgery at home. Matt and Jeff work best as a team of course and are so popular but its quite funny hearing the women in the crowd especially squeal and cheer for them. Nash’s motivation works as Booker and X-Pac win the match, but aren’t totally happy as Booker thinks X-Pac stole his win. He was too busy setting up for a Spinarooni as X-Pac tagged himself in and scored the X-Factor. The nWo theme plays so Booker asks for a mic and tells them to play HIS music so that he can give the people what they came to see - a Spinarooni! He gets a big pop for it. 

Big Show faces Bradshaw one on one. Show wins quickly with a chokeslam so I guess that’s the end of Bradshaw’s single push.

As Booker T and X-Pac celebrate the nWo’s winning ways tonight - Booker takes most of the credit - Goldust shows up dressed in the black and white and begs to join the nWo. Booker actually defends Goldust tonight - he’s not doing any harm! X-Pac says that he’s making the nWo a joke and goes to “tell Kev”.

Goldust - still in nWo facepaint - takes on Crash Holly and wins quickly and cleanly with the Curtain Call reverse DDT. He’s celebrating in the ring when the leader of the nWo Kevin Nash comes down to the ring. Maybe Goldust impressed him and he’s going to let him join after all? Goldust gets out of the ring and the 7 foot Nash drops Crash with a big boot. Goldust quietly leaves while staring back at Nash and seems to assume this is a good sign and that Nash is considering letting him actually join!

Other Happenings

• In a mixed tag team match, WWE Women’s Champion Trish Stratus teams with Spike Dudley, and Molly Holly teams with WWE European Champion William Regal. Both championships are on the line in this match, much like the mixed tag for both the Hardcore and women’s title a couple of weeks ago where Trish regained the title in the first place. Before the match, Molly backstage tells Regal that she’s nervous to see her ex boyfriend Spike as he was “such a pervert”. She’s a wholesome virgin you see. This match is supposed to be woman vs. woman and man vs. man only but Regal gets plenty of cheap shots in on Trish to allow Molly control. Trish gets the victory quickly and out of nowhere with a roll up on Molly. After the match, Regal attacks Spike and hands his brass knuckles to Molly so that she can use them on Trish, knocking her out cold. No title changes tonight but Molly and Trish aren’t done.

• Terri interviews the Hardcore Champion Steven Richards who says his recent friend and team mate Jazz isn’t here as she’s recovering from knee surrey. He calls Richards “cute and cuddly” which is hilarious as her character is straight up pitbull. Jacqueline enters and calls that ridiculous. Richards implies that Jackie has the hots for him so she kicks him in the shin and knocks him out but before she can cover, Shawn Stasiak arrives to try and steal the pin, followed by the Bossman. With them fighting, Terri covers Richards and actually wins the Hardcore title! She celebrates for a moment but Richards rolls her up and regains his title. The important part of this is that during the roll up we got to see right up Terri’s skirt which drove King and JR wild. Gross old men.

• Backstage, Paul Heyman tries to get into the trainer’s office to check on Trish Stratus who he made creepy overtures towards last week. Paul is stopped in his tracks by Bubba Ray Dudley. Bubba throws Heyman around a little bit, slamming him against a wall - eventually. Hilariously both the doors he’s thrown against swing open so it takes him four attempts to find a solid surface to threaten him to stay away from Trish and that he’ll have plenty in store for Brock Lesnar later.

• Live at the World, the four finalists in Tough Enough 2 have a pair of arm wrestling contests. Unlike Tough Enough 1, while there’s two winners its not split between male and female this year and both female finalists, Jackie Gayda and Linda Miles, end up being signed. 

• Backstage a shaken Paul Heyman gives Lesnar a pep talk and says that threatening him and punking him out is the same as doing it to Lesnar directly. That leads into Brock Lesnar vs. Bubba Ray Dudley. Bubba doesn’t back down and throws big punches at Lesnar’s face. In real life, Bubba was very much like Bradshaw and Hardcore Holly in that they appointed themselves as bullies tasked with slapping around rookies and younger guys and “teaching them respect” but it’s funny imagining him doing that to a former NCAA world champion and future UFC heavyweight champion. Bubba actually has the match won but Heyman distracts and gets Bubba to chase him. It works and Bubba scores with the F5 to remain undefeated. Bubba looked really strong here in defeat.

Smackdown - May 30th 2002

Undertaker isn’t done playing The Game

The Undertaker defends the Undisputed WWE Championship in a match he requested against…the rookie, Randy Orton. He seems to have selected this kid because it’ll be an easy victory for him and he’s a bully, like he bullied Tommy Dreamer on Raw. Before the match, Undertaker praises Orton and calls him a 3rd generation star, and the city talking about the wrestling history of Calgary. Maybe he is a nice guy? Randy puts up a good fight and gets a near fall with a roll up but it doesn’t last long and Undertaker dominates him, even having him feat and choosing not to cover. It almost backfires when he’s reversed into an exposed buckle and Randy hits his Overdrive finisher - an ugly move which dozens of people have tried to make their finisher over the years, it was also MVP’s Play of the Day - but Undertaker kicks out. In the end, Undertaker has a harder time with the rookie than he expected but finishes him with a chokeslam to retain the title. Triple H helps Randy to his feet and keeps the beating going but Triple H sprints to the ring to make the save. Because it was the right thing to do? Because he has previous issues with Undertaker? Because he wants the Undisputed title? I guess all three. The Game beats Undertaker all around the ring and sends him running.

Triple H throws the title belt to the champion and tells him to give HIM a title match next unless he’s afraid to.

Later, Triple H goes one on one with the man who kicked him in the face last week, Test. As the match continues, Lance Storm comes down to the ring. Triple H beat him last week, both he and Test have been McMahon henchmen against Triple H lately and there’s also this loosely affiliated heel Canadians group which has formed with Jericho, Christian, Lance Storm and Test lately. Test almost steals victory a couple of times thanks to distractions and interference by Storm but Triple H keeps kicking out and fights off both men. Undertaker runs down as Triple H goes for a Pedigree and three on one is too much with Test scoring a big upset win with a Big Boot on Triple H. Undertaker isn’t done with his payback and gets in the ring to punish Triple H for the attack earlier. He plants him with a chokeslam and then blasts Triple H with brutal chairshot after brutal chairshot until referees are finally able to control him. 

Steel Cage Main Event

Mark Lloyd interviews Hulk Hogan backstage, Hogan says that he doesn’t want to retire anymore because he wants to kick Vince McMahon’s ass in a match. McMahon appears and confronts Hogan but it's a ruse to allow Kurt Angle to jump him from behind, knocking Hogan out with a metal pipe to the back of the head.

In the main event, Edge and Kurt Angle settle their rivalry once and for all in a steel cage match. Beforehand, Valbowski tells Edge that he needs to promise to pull off Kurt’s wig and let the world see his bald head. Mark Lloyd interviews Kurt Angle who has no idea what they’re all talking about - he was bald for 24 hours and then his hair all grew back! Credit to Kurt for making this as silly as possible with his wig sticking up from the head gear in little tufts. He promises to embarrass, humiliate and humble Edge inside the steel cage.

It's interesting that as we approach King of the Ring, these are the two most recent KOTR winners in the main event. It’s a heated back and forth and serious despite Kurt’s silly wig. He hammers Edge with suplexes who kicks out to keep things going. Kurt slows things down and busts Edge open using the cage and rips and pulls at his head to open the wound up more.

The referee is knocked down and after an Angle Slam off the top rope, Kurt is able to climb out of the cage and visually win this match. There’s no referee to see it and so Hulk Hogan runs down for revenge for earlier and ramps Angle into the cage and throws him back into the ring so that the match continues. With Hogan at ringside, Edge and Kurt trade finishing moves and kick outs and Kurt locks a bloody Edge in the ankle lock which is countered in a roll through sending Angle into the cage. They fight at the top of the cage and Kurt almost gets out but lands crotch first on the door and is brought back inside. Edge wins a great steel cage match with a diving Spear off the top rope which caught Kurt high and looked awesome. Hulk Hogan gets into the ring after the match and slams Kurt from one side of the cage to the other but Angle escapes before his wig can be removed. He scampers up the ramp as Hogan celebrates in the ring with Edge to close Smackdown.

Mystery Solved?

Cruiserweight Champion The Hurricane teams with Billy Kidman against Chavo Guerrero and Tajiri. This is a good match and a series of dives to the outside ends with a springboard shooting star press by Kidman which gets rightful “holy shit” chants. Hurricane is about to finish Tajiri with a chokeslam when his own theme music plays and on the titantron there’s another menacing poem saying that whoever has been stalking and threatening him will reveal themselves next week, including a torn photo of what looks like a woman’s hand on his chest? The distraction allows Tajiri to kick him in the back of the head and win the match for his team.

Other Happenings

• Smackdown’s opening match is a WWE Tag Team title rematch - makeshift team of Rikishi and Rico vs. Billy and Chuck. This seems like it’ll be an easy victory for Billy and Chuck but Rikish fights them off single handedly. Rico does his best to help them and make this three on one but with Chuck down, Rikishi drops Rico with a superkick. He calls onto Chuck and an unconscious Rico actually gets the pin and retains the titles for his team! Billy and Chuck are furious with their stylist as Rikishi dances in victory at the top of the ramp.

• Backstage, Maven and Torrie Wilson’s awkward courtship continues. She gives him a good luck kiss - he closed his eyes about 10 full seconds before she got near his face, what a virgin. Tajiri is shown lurking in the shadows and watching. 

• Maven’s match is a singles battle with Christian. Maven does well and might be on the way to victory but Tajiri sneaks to the ring and kicks him in the head leading to an Unprettier and a victory for Christian over the rookie.

• In Mr. McMahon’s office he’s on the phone with someone and explains that while Chris Benoit is a Smackdown superstar, because he’s still technically on the injury list he’s free to appear on Raw for the time being. He’s interrupted by “para-legal” Dawn Marie. She’s a former ECW performer who’s just been signed. Stacy Keibler isn’t here tonight so Vince is free to creep out and perv on this young lady instead. He’s thankfully interrupted by Chris Jericho who is upset to be fighting Faarooq tonight after Hell in a Cell and beating Mark Henry last week. Vince takes exception at the idea that he’s abusing Jericho and basically pumps him up and tells him to prove how tough he is - far tougher than Triple H! 

• Lance Storm goes to see Reverend D-Von and makes a confession of his sins. He’s Canadian! D-Von forgives him and then Deacon Batista intimidates him into putting some money into the collection box and then calls him cheap.

• That match is next and Chris Jericho is looking healed but still has visible stitches in his shoulder from Hell in a Cell. This is a competitive match. The only noteworthy thing about Faarooq is that much like Bradshaw on Raw he’s still dressed in his APA gear and using the same theme song. Both of you need to move on lads. It’s over. Jericho runs Faarooq into an exposed turnbuckle and finishes him with a new finisher? A sleeper hold into a slam. It’s enough to win the match and he gets cheers from his fellow countrymen in Canada. 

Raw - June 3rd 2002

Farewell, Stone Cold

Backstage as Raw begins, Ric Flair has his little posse of henchmen assembled with Arn Anderson, Eddie Guerrero and Smackdown superstar Chris Benoit. Vince McMahon explained on Smackdown that Benoit is still technically on the injury list and so for now he’s free to appear on Raw as long as Flair is willing to let him.

Flair leads Eddie, Benoit and an army of security guards to the ring and tells Arn that if and when Stone Cold arrives just send him to the ring. Flair brags about last week’s plan and how his welcoming committee of Guerrero and Benoit took out Austin just like he said they would. He hands the mic to Chris Benoit so he can explain himself - he was about to win the WWE title last year until he was injured and he blames Stone Cold Steve Austin for the neck injury and the need for surgery. All those brutal chairshots from a heel-at-the-time Austin probably didn’t help. He calls this the beginning of a long and painful payback - no such luck as this Raw marks Stone Cold’s final appearance for quite a long time. I’ll talk about that later though. Eddie says that after losing his Intercontinental title last week he felt like less of a man but giving Stone Cold that Frog Splash gave him back his Latino Heat. Flair says that the fans here in Texas probably want to see Stone Cold wrestle but he is still benched. He tells Austin that if he has a problem with that he can talk to Arn Anderson. On Cue, Arn appears on the titantron being puppeted by Austin. He has already kicked Anderson’s ass and Flair is next. Stone Cold doesn’t like being benched. WHAT. It doesn’t work. WHAT. It sucks. WHAT. He wants either Benoit or Guerrero tonight or he’ll do to Ric Flair what he just did to Arn Anderson. Flair says that Eddie is already booked for a match and Benoit is both not medically cleared and on Smackdown. Stone Cold isn’t happy. He says in that case he wants Ric Flair right here tonight on Raw and if he wins he’s off the bench and back full time but if he loses then Flair can keep him on the bench as long as he wants. Flair accepts but on one condition - it’s an old school, proper wrestling match. This won’t be a Stone Cold brawl. He seems to trip over his lines and forget what he’s saying as he speaks. The segment suddenly ends as the ending has been edited off - Stone Cold peed on Arn Anderson as he lay on the floor of Flair’s office. Gross. 

In Ric Flair’s office he has a lawyer drawing up paper work for his match with Austin tonight. He wants MORE stipulations - if Stone Cold loses he must become Ric Flair’s personal assistant and clean his car while wearing a dress! He says that the most important stipulation is that this is a WRESTLING match and so if Stone Cold throws a single punch then he loses by disqualification. No brawling, only wrestling. Austin walks in and has no problem signing the contract - he doesn’t even read it. Flair smugly tells Austin that he’ll find out why he’s smiling so much when he actually reads the contract. I think they were worried about the fans not understanding the no-punches rule because they get Arn Anderson to reexplain to Chris Benoit, and also say that when Stone Cold loses and is Flair’s assistant he’ll have to scrub toilets. It's awkward as he’s alluding to Austin urinating on him earlier which was edited off of this version of the show so you’ll just need to take my word for it. 

Back in the Austin locker room, Debra reads the contract and has a laugh. Stone Cold asks what is so funny? Well because of the wording of the contract, the loser becoming the winner’s assistant cuts both ways and if Stone Cold wins then Ric Flair must become HIS assistant too!

In the main event, Nature Boy Ric Flair vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin for the first time ever with an unusual stipulation - Stone Cold can’t throw a single punch and must wrestle, old school. Austin gets a lot of praise for being a brawler but he is and always was a gifted technical wrestler too which he’s shown off plenty of times in his feuds with Triple H, Benoit, Jericho and Angle. Austin can’t punch but is able to trade chops with Flair and does, having to stop himself from throwing a right hand more than once. Chris Benoit comes down to the ring just as Austin scores with a Stunner so his distraction means there’s no referee to count. With the referee trying to get Benoit out of the arena, Eddie Guerrero comes through the crowd with a low blow and a Frog Splash giving Ric a huge advantage. Despite Flair’s best efforts - including poking Stone Cold in the eye about 9 times - Austin drops Flair with a second Stone Cold Stunner to win the match. He’s off the bench and Flair is now Stone Cold’s assistant. Or he would be if this wasn’t the end of the storyline. Austin gives Flair a third Stunner after the match and ends Raw celebrating with beers.

I mentioned earlier that this is Stone Cold’s final appearance for a long time and sadly that is true as still suffering from the same burnout and creative frustration he was after Wrestlemania, Austin no-showed next week’s Raw. It’s addressed on TV and I’ll talk about it more as it comes up but for now this is goodbye to Stone Cold Steve Austin. I’ve written about the situation in a lot more detail here;

nWo gains a Showstopper

Backstage the nWo tries to get Kevin Nash to reveal what his big announcement is later tonight. They’re interrupted by Goldust pretending to be a backstage interviewer. Booker goads Pac and tells him that maybe if Goldust beats X-Pac in their King of the Ring qualifier tonight, Goldust should get X-Pac’s spot in the nWo. Nash agrees to that stipulation and that match is next. This is decent and Goldust uses X-Pac’s Bronco Buster against him. X-Pac rallies and wins with an X-Factor to win the match, keep his spot in the nWo and advance in the King of the Ring tournament. 

Hyped up throughout the night, nWo leader Kevin Nash has a “major announcement”. The nWo comeback was derailed somewhat with Scott Hall’s poorly timed legal troubles and being fired but Nash is doing what he can to get the group taken seriously again. They have won all of their matches since his pep talk last week to be fair. He says often in wrestling these kinds of big announcements don’t live up to the hype but this one will - the newest member of the nWo is the returning Shawn Michaels! It gets an odd reaction from the crowd for a couple of reasons. Him returning as a member of a heel group is going to make fans unhappy but also it's unknown if this is his return as a wrestler. He has made plenty of appearances like this in the past but hasn't wrestled since Wrestlemania 14 in 1998. I’ll talk a lot more about Shawn Michaels at the King of the Ring PPV but for now he is back and I can’t really do justice to the moment. I think also to most people’s surprise he doesn’t talk and after posing with Kevin Nash the segment just ends.

Picking Fights with the Deadman

Backstage, Matt Hardy finds his brother Jeff playing the guitar. Jeff says that they used to live for the moment and drift and now they’re hypocrites. I don’t really know what he means and neither does Matt. Jeff tells him that he’ll see what he’s getting at later. 

Backstage, Tommy Dreamer is unwell and has a bucket of vomit. He tells Coach that he hasn’t been able to stop throwing up since he found out he has to fight the Undertaker tonight. Coach shows him footage of Undertaker brutally beating Triple H on Smackdown which makes him worse and Tommy blows chunks into the bucket. This is deeply disgusting. 

Up next, Undisputed WWE Champion The Undertaker faces Tommy Dreamer in a non-title match. Tommy has the bucket of vomit with him when he comes down to the ring and it's full of a thick, beige fluid which I’d HOPE is fake vomit. Tommy takes a scoop with his hands and puts it in his mouth which is repulsive but it turns out it was a tactic and when Undertaker looks away in disgust Dreamer rushes him and gets some offence in on the champion.

 His attempted dive off the apron is caught and turned into a powerslam on the floor. Taker hits a big chokeslam and a barrage of elbows but won’t pin Dreamer and keeps the beating going. He eventually makes him submit to the dragon sleeper and JR says that Dreamer didn’t tap out in his 8 years in ECW but Undertaker made him tap out tonight. The champion goes and gets Tommy’s bucket of sick and pours it all over Dreamer as he lays at ringside. Undertaker’s deliberation is short lived as Jeff Hardy runs down and dropkicks Underaker in the back sending him falling onto Dreamer and getting his vomit all over his arm and torso!

Jeff Hardy runs off having made Undertaker perhaps angrier than he’s ever been! Jeff Hardy has picked a fight with the Undisputed Champion he may not survive. After a commercial break, Undertaker is looking for Jeff. Matt breaks the news that Jeff has left the arena so Undertaker gives him a message and boots Matt in the head and beats him up in the locker room.

Other Happenings

• Steven Richards defends the Hardcore Championship against Bradshaw. The big Texan fights off interference from Spike Dudley, Justin Credible and Crash Holly to win the title.
• After a recap of RVD regaining the Intercontinental title last week, Coach interviews the man himself. He says this will be the Summer of RVD. They’re interrupted by Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar. Heyman takes credit for having created RVD in ECW. Heyman says that tonight when they clash in a tag team match he’ll come face to face with the Next Big Thing. Lesnar gets in Van Dam’s face but doesn’t speak. He still hasn’t spoken on WWE TV, not including the Insurrection UK only PPV. 

• WWE Women’s Champion Trish Stratus fights Terri in a lingerie match for the title. I’m not sure why Terri deserves a title match but I’d assume it's because she’s the only other woman on the roster who they want to make wrestle in her underwear. It’s difficult to even enjoy these segments as a man because Jerry Lawler is insufferable on commentary during them. Terri’s obviously been training as she shows off with some basic moves and gets a nearfall with a crossbody off the top rope. Trish wins and retains the title in just over two minutes which felt like 15 thanks to King squealing the whole time. The fans weren’t anywhere near as into this as they have been in the past with similar segments which hopefully means the powers that be will get the hint. Molly Holly runs down and tries to hit Trish with brass knuckles again but she uses the women’s title belt as a shield to block it and knocks her out with a title belt shot instead. Trish takes off her panties to reveal a much smaller thong underneath and throws them in Molly’s face. Jesus. 

• New Intercontinental Champion Rob Van Dam and Bubba Ray Dudley take on Eddie Guerrero and Brock Lesnar. It's a physical match and Bubba is once again booked really strong. He goes out to get a table but pays for it when its dropkicked back in his face by Eddie. This ended up being a great match with an exciting finish as Brock puts RVD down with a F5 after Heyman shoved him off the ropes, and Eddie followed with a Frog Splash to win the match for his team.
• Coach interviews European Champion William Regal, who has a King of the Ring qualifier tonight. Regal says no one in the WWE screams royalty more than him. His opponent Booker T arrives and says he’s going to kick his ass just like George Washington kicked the King of England’s ass. Booker is definitely a babyface these days. It didn’t happen in 2002 but both of these men did eventually become King of the Ring - Booker T in 2006 and William Regal in 2008. That match is next and after a solid back and forth ends in another victory for the nWo with Booker picking up the win after his attempted cheating backfires and he gets hit in the head with his own European title belt. Much like last week, after the match Booker gets a mic and says that he wants to give the people the thing they came to see - the Spinarooni! 

Smackdown - June 6th 2002

New Number One Contender

Smackdown opens with 16 men already in the ring for the opening match. Tazz and Michael Cole have no idea what's going on as Triple H, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle and Hulk Hogan make their entrances one by one. With 20 men assembled in the ring, Mr. McMahon comes out and says this 20 man Battle Royal will determine who faces The Undertaker for the WWE Undisputed Championship at the King of the Ring. It’s a fairly standard punch-kick battle royal. Albert, Hugh Morrus and Chavo Guerrero all lasted far longer than I thought they would.

There’s a shocker as Kurt throws Hardcore Holly out of the ring but not over the top rope and so he’s caught off guard when Kurt comes back in and dumps Angle out! It comes down to a final four of three you’d expect - the main eventers Triple H, Chris Jericho and Hulk Hogan - and Test. Hogan and Triple H work together, eliminate them and we’re left with a very sensible final two as either of these men are a realistic King of the Ring championship opponent for Undertaker. Both men go up and over the top rope at the same time and the crowd of referees argue over who hit the floor first and who the rightful winner is. After a commercial break they’re still arguing with the ring now full of referees and officials. The fans chant for Hogan and honestly on the slow motion replay it looked pretty clear to me that Triple H did hit the floor first. Vince McMahon appears on the titantron and after a needlessly long bit of build up says tonight’s main event will be a singles match between them with the winner challenging for the title at King of the Ring. 

Mark Lloyd interviews Triple H before his main event with Hollywood Hulk Hogan. He shows footage of Undertaker’s attack last week and says the doctors have told him Triple H only has 30% range of motion in his left arm. Triple H gets in his face and intimidates him but doesn’t answer and walks off in a bad mood. He was only asking a question. During Triple H’s entrance they talk about him being on the front cover of Flex magazine. That’s cool and all but - and far be it for me to spread rumours - he was banging steroids like his life depended on it in 2002.

This is a slow match with long sleeper holds. The finish comes when Triple H actually kicks out of Hogan’s Immortal leg drop but Hogan celebrates like he won and pays for it, turning into a Pedigree. Triple H wins and gets not only his win back from Backlash but earns a shot at The Undertaker at King of the Ring for the WWE Undisputed title. Triple H out-politics Hogan as this was a lot cleaner than Hulk’s win at Backlash. Hogan shoves Triple H in frustration so The Game leaves but then Hogan calls him back to the ring and gives him a handshake and a hug, raising his arm in victory.

I’m sure this was intended to be a huge passing of the torch moment. Hogan goes to leave but Triple H stops him and gets him back in the ring to pose and flex for the fans as Triple H joins in next to him. Their celebration is cut short by Kurt Angle but he’s just a distraction as The Undertaker comes through the crowd and jumps Triple H and Hogan from behind. This was a clever setup as Vince has made multiple references to speaking to Undertaker on the phone tonight so we didn’t know he was here. Kurt runs down to join in and lays out Hogan with an Angle Slam as Undertaker drops Triple H with not just a chokeslam but a Last Ride for good measure. 

Jericho goes too far

In the arena, Edge heads down to the ring. He was scheduled to face Chris Jericho in a King of the Ring qualifier but sadly is unable to compete as when Spearing Kurt Angle off the top rope last week he separated his shoulder and will be out of action for a while. He says it kills him that he is forced to miss time and to be out of the KOTR before it starts but he’ll be back and it’ll be to win the WWE Championship.

His scheduled opponent Chris Jericho comes down to the ring and mocks Edge’s misfortune. You’d think he’d be happy to just qualify. He demands that Edge raise his arm in victory but he’s sick of listening to Jericho and punches him in the mouth instead. He pays for it when Jericho attacks back, focusing on the injured shoulder. He chokes Edge with his own sling and drives him shoulder first into the ring post, followed by pinning Edge’s arm down on the ringsteps and slamming a chair down, squashing it. Edge screams and clutches his bad arm to his body, Valbowski runs down to attack Jericho. A little bit late buddy. He fights Jericho anyway and sends him packing out of the ring before checking on Edge.

King of the Ring

In the first of Smackdown’s King of the Ring qualifiers, Christian takes on The Big Valbowski. Both X-Pac and Booker T from the nWo have already advanced on the Raw side of the brackets. It's a short match and in a shock to me at least, Val scores with a gutwrench sitdown powerbomb and wins the match to advance. 

Kurt Angle

Backstage, Kurt Angle says that an icon just got screwed. He means himself. Neither Triple H or Hulk Hogan deserves a title match, he does. Hogan screwed him out of a cage match last week (actually true) and this week Hardcore Holly screwed him over. He calls Holly a cheater which brings the man himself into the interview and he makes fun of his wig so Kurt challenges him to a match tonight which is accepted.

Kurt Angle vs. Hardcore Holly has some history as Kurt once broke Holly’s arm with a misplaced moonsault, but that was two years ago. Holly has been a heel lately so him playing a tough guy babyface is pretty out of the blue this week. It’s a good match and Kurt is very giving, letting Holly dominate him but kicking out of slams, suplexes and a really nice looking powerbomb. Holly doesn’t tap to the ankle lock but after a couple of reversals, Kurt pins Holly by grabbing the ropes for leverage. Hardcore attacks Angle after the match and lays him out with an Alabama Slam. He teases pulling off Kurt’s wig but is given a low blow and a furious Angle grabs the ring bell to use as a weapon. Holly ducks it and hits Kurt with it instead! A surprisingly big push for Hardcore Holly of all people.

Other Happenings

• Backstage Rico tries to explain himself to Billy and Chuck who are still furious that they haven’t regained their Tag Team titles. Rico says they’re both calling apart since losing the gold. They have one last chance tonight in an elimination match and Billy says that if they don’t win tonight they’ll need a new stylist. That match is next and with Rico and Billy and Chuck teasing a fall out, maybe Rikishi will have a real partner tonight? Rico insists on starting and taps out immediately when Chuck locks him in a wrist lock, getting himself eliminated and leading this as an official handicap match. Rikishi fights them both off two on one and eliminates Billy with a cutter so it’s now a singles match for the WWE Tag Team titles. With help from Rico, Billy and an exposed turnbuckle, Chuck eventually puts down Rikishi and regains the Tag Team titles for he and Billy. Rikishi flattens Rico with a Banzai drop afterwards. 

• Backstage, the Cruiserweight Champion is on the prowl. He finds another threatening note from the stalker who promised to reveal their identity tonight. She is waiting for him in his locker room. The “she” in question turns out to be…the female winner of Tough Enough 1, Nidia. The implication is that they used to date and she gave him “the best sex he ever had”. He keeps him talking so that her new boyfriend can jump Hurricane from behind - the debuting Jamie Noble.

• In Mr. McMahon’s office the two winners of this year’s Tough Enough drop in to see him. Linda Miles and Jackie Gayda. As is now tradition, the new female superstars flirt with Vince until Ivory walks in and tells them off for daring to walk into Vince’s office. Linda doesn’t like being told off like a naughty child so gets in Ivory’s face. Vince says we can settle this on their new show, Velocity. Linda can have her first ever match against Ivory. (Ivory won when Jackie turned heel on Linda. More on that next week.)

• At a local hospital, Maven is laid up with a broken leg. Torrie Wilson stops by to see him and seductively eats a banana. She takes her top off and closes the curtain. Elsewhere at the hospital, Torrie’s ex boyfriend Tajiri arrives and is looking for him. He steams in furious jealousy when the nurse tells him Maven’s girlfriend just arrived.

• Later, Tajiri is disguised as a doctor making his way to Maven’s room but is grabbed by a couple of real doctors and rushed downstairs as there is an all-hands-on-deck type emergency.

• Outside Mr. McMahon’s office, his new legal aid Dawn Marie and his personal assistant Stacy Keibler bicker over who he likes more and which one of them gets to see him. How demeaning.
• Lance Storm drops in to see Billy Kidman and tells him that the office think he’s boring. Kidman sarcastically thanks him and compliments his haircut before leaving. Obviously the joke is that Storm is very boring and calling someone else boring. I hate to break it to you guys but the fact that the creative team are calling you both boring is bad news for both of you. That match is next and boring or not they’re both fantastic wrestlers and were solid midcarders in WCW with plenty of championship wins under their respective belts. Storm wins a short back and forth match with a superkick.
• Back at the hospital it’s implied that Torrie has just done something sexual for Maven. He’s very satisfied with himself. Tajiri arrives and attacks Maven, dumping him off the bed as Torrie screams hysterically. 

Raw - June 10th 2002

100% Owner

Raw opens tonight with the Raw owner, Ric Flair. He reminds us that last week he lost a match to Stone Cold Steve Austin which now means he has to act as the Rattlesnake’s personal assistant. However, Stone Cold hasn’t shown up and won’t be here tonight. That’s true, as discussed last week. This moment marks the end of that storyline as Austin now being unreliable means all of his storylines were scrapped. Vince McMahon interrupts and comes down and after twisting the knife and talking about how disappointed all of the people are in Stone Cold for no-showing, he’s disappointed in Ric Flair and he accuses him of driving Raw into the toilet as owner. In truth this was also the beginning of a storyline chase caused by real life events - Flair embarrassed the company during the whole Plane Ride from Hell which got Scott Hall and Curt Henig fired. McMahon tells Flair that as an owner, he sucks. Flair asks McMahon what he wants to do about it - Vince says he’s a gambling man and he is prepared to gamble his life tonight. He challenges Ric Flair to a no-holds barred match tonight here on Raw where the winner becomes the 100% owner of the entire WWE. You can tell Vince was planning on wrestling tonight because his face is covered in patches of dark fake tan - something he only did when he was in his wrestling gear. Flair struts and WOOs and accepts the challenge. The unexpected departure of Stone Cold and the end of that storyline now means that Ric Flair is a babyface again. The match is official for tonight.

In Ric Flair’s office, Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit drop in to see him. They’re angry he’s put his half of the company on the line without consulting with them. Eddie makes it clear that they were banking on being buddies with the boss going forward so Flair BETTER win or there will be consequences. Later, Flair’s best friend and enforcer Arn Anderson drops by Vince’s locker room and tells him that he’s out of his mind challenging the 16 time world champion to a match. Vince shoves him and tells him to get out, and Arn tells him to enjoy early retirement.

Backstage in Mr. McMahon’s office, Paul Heyman drops by with the Next Big Thing Brock Lesnar to offer his support and luck for tonight’s main event. He says he knows that Vince will win and become full owner of the WWE again and when he does he should call Heyman because he has an amazing idea for the King of the Ring. 

In the main event, Mr. McMahon and Ric Flair clash in a no-holds barred match for ownership of the WWE. In an interesting coincidence, their street fight at the Royal Rumble took place in this very same building. That’s just timing as the match wasn’t planned - this situation was created by Stone Cold’s no-show meaning all storylines involving him need to change course. He’s been buried a lot tonight by various people in promos and on commentary. The commentary on this show had a few dodgy references to Jerry Lawler’s real life legal troubles as JR jokingly accuses King of “leading children astray” (he was arrested for sexually assaulting an underage girl which was not proven, but there’s dozens if not hundreds of stories about King loving young girls over the years) and also suggests King and McMahon “share a masseuse” (Vince was accused of sexually assaulting a masseuse in Florida). All very creepy and I do my best not to dwell on all the horrible real life stuff when I watch these shows but sometimes it slaps me in the face. Vince dominates Flair and busts him open after hitting him with the ring bell. This is messy and not as good as their Rumble match but they did have a lot less time to prepare for it. Flair finally fights back and locks in the Figure Four as his buddy Arn comes down to taunt Vince.

Brock Lesnar runs down to the ring much to everyone’s surprise and intimidates Anderson into leaving, and drops an elbow on Flair. He drops the Raw owner with an F5 and leaves which allows Vince to crawl into a cover and win the match and regain 100% control of the entire WWE. “Satan is back in business!” screams JR as the show goes off the air.

Here’s the recap of all the events that opened the next Smackdown:

New New World Order

Backstage, nWo members Kevin Nash, X-Pac and Big Show are locked out of the nWo locker room as newest member Shawn Michaels needed some private time. Nash tells them that they have a six man tag team match tonight and Shawn is excited to see them in action. Booker T shows up and demands to speak to HBK. He has an issue with Shawn’s theme music calling him a sexy boy and is all jacked up. He wants to change his theme song and sings Shawn’s music with his own name in the lyrics - Nash and X-Pac both break and piss themselves laughing. I enjoyed this very much.

That was earlier today and the match is next - Show and Pac enter together to the nWo theme song but Booker T continues to stand alone and enters to his own theme song which, in fairness, is a great theme song. Their opponents - who didn’t get entrances - are Spike Dudley, Planet Stasiak and Tommy Dreamer who is still carrying the metal sick bucket he had last week. As the match continues, Kevin Nash and Shawn Michaels are showing watching the match backstage and in a deep discussion until Nash spots the camera man and closes the door in his face. Shawn really wants his privacy. Tommy has a fun spot as he throws the sick bucket at Booker but twist - its full of confetti! The distraction lets him hit a DDT for a near fall. Team nWo pretty easily win the match after that. Booker demands a microphone and as has become his trademark, he tells the people that he wants to give them what they came to see - the Spinarooni! He even gets a cheap pop, shouting “Atalanta Georgia” to confirm he’s definitely a babyface despite membership in a heel group. 

Backstage, Booker is still pumped up from his win and runs into Goldust who is still lobbying to join the nWo, but only because he wants to be Booker T’s tag team partner. Goldust says he doesn’t want to join anymore - he wants Booker to leave and says that if Shawn Michaels is the same person he used to be, Booker’s days are over because Shawn doesn’t care for “their kind”. I have no idea what he means but it’s not a race thing because Goldust is white. Or gold? Later, Jonathan Coachman tries to get some words with Nash and Michaels but they blow him off. Nash does at least say they’ll hear from them later in the show.

Shawn Michaels heads down to the ring to finally address his joining the nWo and explain himself. He says that back in his day they had everything - garbage men, clowns and hockey players running around - but they most importantly of all had him. He is real, the showstopper. He was a real person who gave everything he had including his body. He talks about his leaving at Wrestlemania 14 and how the company threw itself behind Stone Cold. He says he was Attitude before it was a catchphrase. Of note, the fans boo the mention of Stone Cold - seems like his no-showing the event has hurt some feelings in the crowd as well as backstage. Shawn blames the fans for abandoning him and running to Austin. He says the Heartbreak Kid is dead because the fans killed him, but one man stood by him and had his back no matter what. When everyone else hated him, this man stayed with his best friend - Kevin Nash. Nash then comes down to the ring with the rest of the nWo and Shawn performs live performance reviews of his team mates. He praises the size and strength of Big Show and the in ring skills of X-Pac but before he gets to Booker T he drops him with a Sweet Chin Music superkick instead! Booker is out. Michaels says that the nWo has no place for people who try to steal the spotlight like Austin stole his spotlight in 1998 and “like The Rock tries to steal the spotlight from Hunter” which is very out of the blue and I feel like was a real life comment rather than anything storyline related. Triple H is the other “real life best friend” in this group which I’ll discuss at King of the Ring as well as Shawn in general. With Booker dropped with a kick, the nWo strip his t-shirt off him and leave him laying.

King of the Ring

In the first of two King of the Ring qualifying matches tonight, Intercontinental Champion Rob Van Dam takes on recent rival and former champion Eddie Guerrero. This is a really good match as all of their matches have been but the finish is botched as the two start a process of roll ups back and forth but they’re slow to switch positions and the referee counts three while they were still mid-sequence. RVD wins and advances in the King of the Ring.

In the second King of the Ring qualifier, Bubba Ray Dudley takes on Brock Lesnar. This match was supposed to be Brock Lesnar vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin which I discussed in the article about Austin’s departure. This match marks the debut of Brock’s new theme song which is the same one he’s still using in 2025. Trivia - during the short lived NFL it was also the theme song for the Chicago Enforcers. This is another physical match just like last week and thanks to some interference by Paul Heyman Lesnar wins with the F5 and advances in the King of the Ring, joining Booker T, X-Pac and RVD from Raw and The Big Valbowski and Chris Jericho from Smackdown.

Other Happenings

• There’s a new Get the F out commercial during this episode of Raw. Quite a funny one;

• Terri interviews Molly Holly. Molly is disgusted by Terri’s bikini photoshoot and column called “Raw sex” in the WWE magazine. Trish approaches from behind and says that the real reason Molly doesn’t like Trish and Terri is because she has a giant ass. He tells Molly that her ass is so big that you could show a movie on it. Molly says that Trish brings the title down and challenges her to match tonight - if Molly wins she gets a title match but if she loses she has to wrestle in a thong. 

• William Regal defends the WWE European Championship against the new WWE Hardcore Champion Bradshaw. Bradshaw has changed up his look which was long overdue. Bradshaw has control and might win the match and title but Chris Nowinski - the Tough Enough 1 finalist that Maven beat out to win - jumps the barrier to distract the referee. On a replay we can see that Nowinski also slipped brass knuckles to William Regal who knocks out Bradshaw to retain the European title. He and Nowinski then leave together. Chris is a Harvard graduate so his snobby preppy gimmick is a good match for William Regal, but his career doesn’t last long.

• Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly in a non-title match is now entirely about Molly’s ass thanks to Trish’s promo. The camera man follows her close behind and focuses on her ass during her entrance and it's the only thing King talks about for the entirety of the match. I immediately hate this gimmick and it reeks of Vince and the creative team trying to shame her on live TV and not so subtly tell her they think she needs to lose some weight. Men loving big butts is a more recent phenomena and in 2002 pop culture demanded that men only like skinny women. In 2025, giving Molly a big ass gimmick would make her a huge babyface. Molly wins clean with the Molly-go-Round which is a flipping senton off the top rope but is now her “using her ass as a weapon”. Molly reveals that she still has the panties that Trish threw at her last week and she uses them as a weapon to choke Trish after the match. Molly now has a promised Women’s title match in her future. 

• WWE Undisputed Champion The Undertaker arrives on his motorbike and drives through the back and directly down to the ring. Undertaker once again tells us all that we should respect him and after bragging about destroying new number one contender Triple H on Smackdown turns his attention to Jeff Hardy’s sneak attack last week. He demands Jeff come to the ring and take his punishment. Jeff’s music plays but it’s not him that comes out, it’s Matt with a ladder. He says that this isn’t about Jeff - Undertaker attacked him last week. It’s just a distraction as Jeff comes from behind but is caught and chokeslammed. Matt rushes the ring with the ladder and fights Undertaker until Jeff recovers and the The Hardyz double team the Undisputed Champion and knock him down with the ladder over and over until finally Jeff ends with a legdrop off the top of the ladder to the champion! Matt and Jeff leave quickly as Undertaker recovers and looks like he wants to murder someone. 

• Out in the parking lot later in the show, Regal and Nowinski make a quick getaway. They’re stopped by Terri who wants to know what's going on - Nowinski brags about being the first Harvard graduate in WWE history which is very impressive I’m sure. 

Smackdown - June 13th 2002

Lunatic Triple H

Smackdown opens with a table and chairs set up in the ring with an army of security lined up to split the ring. The new 100% owner of the WWE Vince McMahon comes down to the ring and stands on the table and brags about once again being the boss and owner and calls the people pathetic losers unlike him who is filthy rich. I suspect that is how he felt about it in real life too.

He gives a big warm welcome to the Undisputed Champion The Undertaker and raises his arm when he gets to the ring, and then gives a much less friendly introduction to his soon to be former son-in-law Triple H who comes down for a contract signing for the WWE Championship match at King of the Ring. The security keeps the ring divided so that champion and challenger are kept apart which is smart considering how many times they’ve attacked each other since Backlash. They both sign with no fuss and that seems to be the end. Vince leaves and some of the security follows him leaving Triple H and Undertaker still face to face. A handful of security grab Triple H allowing Undertaker to attack him - it was a setup! It backfires as Triple H is knocked out of the ring and comes up holding a sledgehammer! Undertaker and the fake security guards bail out of the ring and run away. Triple H isn’t done and gets on the mic and says that he wants Undertaker tonight and he’s not leaving until he gets it. He tells McMahon to give him a fight with Undertaker tonight or it’ll be a long night for everyone. He delivers a Pedigree to one of the security guards still laying in the ring. After a commercial break he’s still in the ring refusing to leave and the WWE Tag Team Champions Billy and Chuck along with Rico have come out. They’re holding steel chairs. Rico has a match with Rikishi scheduled and so Billy and Chuck tell The Game to get out of the ring and let the show proceed or they’ll come down and kick his ass.

 Triple H makes some gay jokes so the tag champions head down to the ring with their steel chairs. He fends them both off with the sledgehammer, hitting the chairs out of their hands and one back into Billy which sends him out of the ring. Triple H refuses to move on and goes back to demanding The Undertaker. He decides to start smashing things up and so attacks the announce table - the sledgehammer handle actually breaks before the table does and he eventually gives up and just kicks the table over. He smashes a monitor, the timekeeper’s table and then is about to smash a TV camera which is when Vince finally comes out.

McMahon offers him a tag team match with him and Hogan vs. Undertaker and Kurt Angle. Triple H accepts and then smashes the camera and then smashes the camera anyway which apparently costs $50,000. I bet it doesn’t really. That gives us a main event for tonight after a long segment but it was a cool idea. 

Mark Lloyd interviews Hollywood Hulk Hogan. He says that he knows Triple H will beat Undertaker at King of the Ring but after Kurt Angle’s attacks he wants to challenge Angle to a match at King of the Ring himself. He says that he and Angle have lots in common - they’re both American heroes, they’re both former champions and they’re both bald. He finishes an energetic 80s style promo by promising to rip Kurt’s wig off at King of the Ring. 

Kurt Angle drops in to see Mr. McMahon and after accepting Hulk Hogan’s challenge says that he doesn’t wear a wig so Hogan isn’t threatening to remove a wig, he’s going to pull his hair out by the roots! He tells Vince to pull his hair and prove how real it is but Undertaker walks in before he does. He wants to know why they have to wrestle that lunatic Triple H tonight. He says that much like his match with Ric Flair on Raw it’s a calculated risk and he’s confident they’ll win.

Before the main event as Triple H gets his injured elbow taped up in the trainers office his tag team team partner Hulk Hogan is jumped by Kurt Angle and Undertaker two on one. They beat down Hollywood and leave him laying in the back which seemingly makes the main event a handicap match.

Undertaker enters first followed by the wig-wearing gold medalist. Triple H evens the odds a little by attacking Angle from behind as he makes his entrance which makes this one on one between King of the Ring opponents for a moment. Angle recovers and joins the match which breaks down to a two on one affair. They tag in and out and work Triple H over for a long time until he’s had enough and after knocking down Angle blasts Undertaker across the back with a steel chair and a sledgehammer blow to the guts. Undertaker actually no-sells that so he hits him again and again eventually driving him up and over the security wall. The match is over with Kurt and Taker winning via disqualification. Kurt attacks Triple H and lays him out in the ring with an Angle slam and stands tall 

King of the Ring and Other Stories

In the first of tonight’s King of the Ring qualifiers, Test takes on Cruiserweight Champion The Hurricane. Earlier tonight, Hurricane had another confrontation with his ex-girlfriend Nidia and her new boyfriend Jamie Noble. They’re leaning heavily into Nidia and Noble having a trailer trash gimmick. She promises Hurricane that he’ll see Jamie again very soon. Hurricane tells her that he’ll fight him any time, any place. The match itself is over quickly as Test wins with the Big Boot. He leaves and with Hurricane already down, Nidia and Jamie Noble come down to attack and taunt him. Nidia steals Hurricane’s mask - gasp! It’s Gregory Helms! And steals his cape too. 

In another King of the Ring qualifier, Hardcore Holly takes on Tajiri. This is messy and there’s a big edit as they clearly botched a counter. Holly wins with an Alabama slam to advance to the quarter finals. I don’t want to saw the Raw side of the bracket is MUCH better but…it is. Raw has Brock Lesnar, Booker T, X-Pac and Rob Van Dam. Smackdown has Test, Hardcore Holly, Valbowski and Chris Jericho. 

Backstage, Jericho is laughing about injuring Edge last week and as he rewatches the footage, Valbowski enters and promises revenge for his friend Edge. They’ll meet in the quarter finals of the King of the Ring tournament.

Chris Jericho and Lance Storm take on Valbowski and Billy Kidman. Both Storm and Kidman have new theme songs here and they’re both worse than their previous themes. There’s some good news as while originally the fear was that Edge would be out for several months with his injury, it’ll only be 4 - 6 weeks. Kidman wins it for his team with a controversial roll up on Lance Storm who claims that his shoulder was up. On a replay it appears he was right and the referee didn’t see it. After the commercial break, Lance Storm confronts the referee backstage. He’s Earl Hebner’s son and so his family has a history of screwing Canadians. Storm says that he’s a typical American.

Other Happenings

• There’s another new Get the F Out commercial;

• Throughout this show, Cole and Tazz promise a special episode of WWE Confidential which is like a behind the scenes magazine show. There was some excellent episodes of it back in the day and this week’s is all about Stone Cold walking out of the company with comments from both Vince McMahon and Jim Ross. They put a lot of blame on Austin and the show created a lot of tension and might be responsible for why it took so long for them to mend fences and get Stone Cold to come back. 
• One of the Tough Enough winners Linda Miles had her debut match against Ivory. She lost when the other Tough Enough winner Jackie Gayda turned on her. Jackie and Ivory have challenged her to a match tonight if she can find a tag team partner. The partner in question is WWE Women’s Champion Trish Stratus who says they’ll win. Or she says they'll deliver Stratusfaction but saying they’ll win is less cringy. 

• In Mr. McMahon’s office his one man mission to turn stomachs continues as he embraces and canoodles with his personal assistant Stacy Keibler. She actually does wince and pull back in disgust when he kisses her which I’m thankful for - at least he had SOME self awareness when writing these segments. His legal aide Dawn Marie is at the door knocking to get in but Vince ignores her to focus on kissing poor Stacy.

• Reverend D-Von in the ring begins a lecture on sin, specifically on the sin of masturbation. Faarooq comes down to the ring and proudly tells D-Von that HE does masturbate. This is especially awkward seeing a bunch of kids in the front row. Faarooq starts the match and immediately puts D-Von down with a spinebuster and pins him in about 10 seconds. Deacon Batista rushes the ring and has his charity box kicked back in his face. Faarooq leaves both holy men lying. 
• Trish Stratus and Linda Miles vs. Ivory and Jackie Gayda are up next. The two Tough Enough winners have had very minimal wrestling training, mostly through the show itself but we’re taking months at most. Maven has gotten quite good and we’ve seen another Tough Enough participant debut now in Chris Nowinski who is also decent. Nidia is now and so she’s been shuffled into a manager role. That’s smart - she’s a better talker than wrestler. This match is alright when it’s Ivory and Trish and Trish does win it for her team with the Stratusfaction bulldog. 

Raw - June 17th 2002

Twisting the Knife

It’s only been a week and Stone Cold Steve Austin has been removed entirely from the Raw opening. They swapped him out for two shots of Shawn Michaels and one of RVD spin kicking a steel chair into Eddie Guerrero’s face which is cool. They are doing their best to paint Austin as the bad guy and make sure that the WWE appears blameless in the whole situation.

Vince McMahon heads down to the ring but not as the character, the evil Mr. McMahon. This is a very sincere promo from the real life owner of the company and he talks about Stone Cold Steve Austin. He reveals that Austin walked out after Wrestlemania too. Vince looks quite emotional and shaken as he speaks from the heart and looks genuinely upset that Stone Cold - a man who he was very close to in real life - walked out under such a dark cloud. Again, you can read the whole story here;

The fans keep WHATing Vince and even chant “Austin” but Vince doesn’t play up to any of it. This is real and it took a few minutes for it to sink in for the fans. Vince says that he’s gone and the company has to move on without him. He reveals that the winner of the King of the Ring tournament will get a WWE Championship match at Summerslam. He ends by wishing Stone Cold well and thanks him on behalf of the entire locker room and the fans. He gives Austin credit for building the company and being such a huge part of it. This was very sincere and he had a lump in his throat as he finished up and toasted the Rattlesnake with a beer. The tone is slightly odd as it feels like Stone Cold has died but given the size and magnitude of star he has been, it is appropriate to treat this as a huge deal. 

We’re not done with either Chris Nowinski or the Stone Cold references tonight as when he goes to introduce himself to Mr. McMahon and list his many, many academic accolades. Vince gets a call from Tony Garea who is his lookout at the airport. He tells him that “the man is on his way” and Vince assumes that he means Stone Cold Steve Austin. He assembles the arena security and tells them to make sure they allow Stone Cold to enter the arena and asks for camera crews to set up and document everything he says and does when he gets here. 

Vince McMahon says he’s going to go down to the ring and asks Sgt. Slaughter to bring Stone Cold down to meet him there for what he assumes will be a public apology for both him and the fans. After a commercial break, Vince is in the ring and asks for a beer so he can have one waiting for the Rattlesnake when he arrives. If you’re thinking this is all very odd and a weird way of handling this then I agree. I’m not sure what point they’re trying to make but it's obviously not Stone Cold Steve Austin - it’s The Rock. He pops the crowd with all his catchphrases and chases Vince McMahon out of the ring, throwing the beer at his head as he does. The Rock says that he wasn’t supposed to come back until next month but with what happened last week he had to come back and address the people. He talks about the fire and passion he feels and the fire and passion he sees in his fellow WWE Superstars. The point of the promo is that he loves the WWE and this place is his home. It features the line “Austin can take his ball and go home” which was the source of a real life falling out between Austin and Rock, who did eventually make up. The important news is that The Rock was scheduled to return to the WWE on July 11th but instead he’ll be at the King of the Ring PPV in some capacity. This is a good “rally the troops” promo and I found it interesting that JR, real life besties with Austin, stayed very quiet during it. I’m sure he had a lot of mixed feelings about the whole thing.

Undertaker vs. The Hardyz

Jeff Hardy goes one on one with Raven. This is a rematch as last night on Sunday Night Heat during this same match, a more serious and determined Jeff Hardy got himself disqualified by choking Raven with a camera cord. The match only just begins when The Undertaker comes out onto the stage to watch this up close. This is a messy match - they just seem to not be a good fit to work together - which Jeff wins with a Swanton Bomb. The Undertaker just watches with a smirk and we’re left wondering why he didn’t go down and attack him. Undertaker has a match with Jeff’s brother Matt later so he’s not out of the woods for the night yet.

WWE Undisputed Champion The Undertaker takes on Matt Hardy in a non-title match later in the show. Matt and Jeff’s desire to Live in the Moment and take risks isn’t a bad idea as attacking the champion is an easy way to get a match with the champion which, if nothing else, is an opportunity to become the champion. Undertaker is having none of it though and beats up Matt easily. He can’t get the win with a chokeslam as Jeff Hardy runs down and pulls the referee out of the ring. Matt and Jeff set about double teaming the champion until Raven runs down and shoves Jeff off the top rope stopping his Swanton Bomb. Undertaker drills Matt with a Last Ride to win the match and then Raven throws a limp Jeff into a waiting Undertaker. Raven handcuffs Jeff Hardy to the ropes and forces Matt Hardy to watch as Undertaker pummels a helpless Jeff with punches and kicks. 

King of the Ring and the nWo

In the King of the Ring quarter finals, Intercontinental Champion RVD takes on nWo member X-Pac. X-Pac is flying solo tonight with no backup which is a surprise for an nWo member. This is a back and forth match until Booker T, angry at being kicked out of the nWo last week, runs down and plans X-Pac with a Book End while the referee is distracted. RVD follows with a Five Star Frog Splash and advances to the semi-finals of the King of the Ring tournament.

Backstage after a commercial break, X-Pac is furious and wants Booker T. The rest of the nWo calms him down and Shawn Michaels and Kevin Nash promise they have a plan for Booker T.

Backstage as Booker gets ready for his match, Goldust shows up in another silly outfit. He’s the Duke of Gold to serve in Booker’s court when he wins the King of the Ring. Booker seems to have finally warmed to Goldust and is a lot friendlier to him this week. Booker says Shawn Michaels was right that he’d outshine the nWo - he’s a bigger star than all of those suckas. Goldust offers to have Booker’s back when the nWo inevitably comes for revenge. 

In the nWo locker room, Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar drop in to visit them. He says that he’s sorry for what happened to X-Pac earlier tonight but he needs to know the same won’t happen to Brock Lesnar. He repeats Vince’s announcement from earlier that the winner of the King of the Ring will get an Undisputed title match at Summerslam. He asks them nicely to stay out of the match but when they get in his face he TELLS them to stay out of his match. It gets a bit tense as Brock has a staredown with Shawn Michaels and Kevin Nash but isn’t in the slightest intimidated. 

Just like earlier with the nWo, Paul Heyman’s paranoia that they’ll get involved in the Lesnar/Booker match will somehow cost his client the King of the Ring leads him to a private chat with senior official Earl Hebner. Hebner looks like he’s having a hard time not laughing while Heyman talks. Booker T shows up and tells Heyman that he needs to worry less about nWo run-ins and disqualifications and worry more about his client getting his ass kicked by the FIVE TIME WCW champion.

In the main event, the final King of the Ring Quarter final for the Raw brand is Brock Lesnar vs. Booker T. The nWo comes out before Booker is even done with his entrance and all four of them surround the ring allowing Brock to attack Booker from behind. Shawn Michaels and Kevin Nash join commentary. Nash immediately does a loud JR impression and Shawn nervously chuckles and has nothing to say. Goldust comes down too to back up Booker and shoves Paul Heyman and its chaos. Booker fights off interference from X-Pac and Big Show but when Heyman grabs Show’s leg begging him not to get Brock disqualified, Lesnar capitalises on the distraction to hit the F5 and advance. Lesnar moves onto the semi finals. He and Heyman quickly leave as the nWo rush the ring and beat up Booker T and Goldust. A massive chokeslam on Goldust and a second on Booker T at the encouragement of Shawn Michaels and they’re both left laying.

The Nature Boy Returns

Former Raw owner, Nature Boy Ric Flair heads down to the ring. He says that he didn’t lose everything last week. Brock Lesnar might have screwed him over last week but life isn’t over. He says ownership went to his head and turned him into a bit of an asshole but now he’s back and he’s found himself. He gets a couple of digs in at Austin for walking out too. He says that Hulk Hogan came all the way back to win the WWE title and have these huge matches on PPV and if Hogan can do it, so can he. He says he’s not ready to go home and call it a career so earlier today he signed a contract to be a wrestler here on Raw. He has one good run left in him and throws out a challenge to Brock Lesnar! As he talks, Stone Cold Steve Austin’s music plays but then morphs into Eddie Guerrero’s. That’s so cheap. Eddie looks pissed as he walks to the ring to confront Ric Flair. He says he was supposed to wrestling Stone Cold at King of the Ring and that would have been the biggest match and victory of his career. That match meant everything to him and he blames Ric Flair personally for it no longer happening. He calls the Nature Boy a worthless piece of crap. That brings out Smackdown superstar Chris Benoit who is still on the injured list. Benoit defends Ric and references the Four Horsemen but predictably he has Eddie’s back, not Flair’s and flips it around. Benoit wanted his revenge on Stone Cold for breaking his neck and now he’ll never get it. Flair challenges Eddie to a match at King of the Ring but gets sick of listening to Benoit and punches him in the mouth. Eddie swarms and Eddie and Benoit beat up Ric Flair and lock him in his own Figure Four while screaming at him until they’ve finally had enough. It lasted a really, really long time at first though. Like uncomfortably long. 

Other Happenings

• Backstage, Johnathan Coachman tries to interview Molly Holly specifically about Trish Stratus saying she had a “big fat ass” last week. He catches Molly using a thighmaster. This is so beneath them both. Molly says she’ll beat Trish for the Women’s title at the King of the Ring and then slaps Coach for saying she won’t be the “butt” of any more jokes. 
• WWE Women’s Champion Trish Stratus teams with D’Lo Brown (first time in a while - It seemed like they might be setting up him vs. William Regal a few weeks ago). This match is set up from Sunday Night Heat too as while Brown was on commentary he was challenged to a match by Crash Holly who he quickly squashed. Their opponents are the cousin tag team of Crash and Molly Holly. King makes me want to smash my screen during this match as he chants “she’s a fat ass” at Molly Holly and talks endlessly and I mean ENDLESSLY about her rear end. D’Lo wins this for his team with a Sky High on Crash but it’s Molly who gets the last laugh as she throws Trish off the apron and she crashes face first onto the announce desk and is seemingly knocked out.

• More hilarious Get the F Out commercial shenanigans;

• Live at The World in New York, Lita is standing by and recovering from her neck surgery. She says she trusts Matt will look after himself tonight but perhaps the risk isn’t worth it to fight The Undertaker.

• Backstage, Jackie Gayda from Tough Enough goes to see Mr. McMahon. He spreads his creepiness towards women from Smackdown to Raw. She asks if she can be a “Raw girl” and he tells her about a divas lingerie contest which will take place in a couple of weeks. I’m sure she’s glad she won Tough Enough to stand around in her underwear. 

• Chris Nowinski, Harvard graduate, makes his in ring debut against Spike Dudley. Nowinski’s wrestling attire looks to be smart casual pants and shirt but after Spike attacks him he throws the small guy to the outside and then strips off to reveal gold and black gear beneath. He has William Regal at ringside with him and its an impressive showing which he wins with a full nelson slam. After the match, Nowinski and Regal attack Spike two on one until Hardcore Champion Bradshaw runs down. The Harvard graduate escapes but William Regal gets a stiff clothesline from hell. 

Smackdown - June 20th 2002

Smackdown Twin PPV Main Events

Smackdown opens with a very sad and upset looking Kurt Angle. He has a confession to make. He IS bald. He’s tried everything to make his hair grow back and nothing works. Obviously this is ridiculous - it’s been four weeks since Judgment Day and his hair would have grown a good bit by now. He shows footage of Triple H and Hulk Hogan exposing his bald head last week and hilariously has his bald head censored with a black bar because its sensitive material. He tells Hulk Hogan that he can’t wrestle, he is not an American Icon and mocks his ear-cupping pose. He promises to put Hogan in the ankle lock and make him cry in front of all his fans. He is going to make Hulk Hogan tap out and even break his ankle at King of the Ring. That brings out Hogan himself to respond. He says that he’ll have the last laugh when he pulls Angle’s wig off again at the PPV. Kurt attacks and the two brawl and trade punches. Hogan goes for the Immortal Leg Drop but Kurt avoids it and runs away, wig intact for now.

Mark Lloyd interviews Triple H. He trips and stumbles over his words because he’s nervous after Triple H’s rampage last week. The Game speaks for him and asks his question for him. He promises to win the WWE Undisputed title at the King of the Ring and makes some gay jokes about his opponent tonight, Billy. 

Triple H takes on one half of the WWE Tag Team Champions, former DX mate Billy. Triple H hit him with a sledgehammer last week while he was on an Undertaker inspired rampage but Billy did kind of bring that on himself - probably should have just stayed out of it. Despite a ton of interference by Chuck and Rico, Triple H wins with a Pedigree. He’s attacked by Kurt Angle who is mad at the part he played in ripping his wig off last week. Triple H fights him off, and Undertaker runs down to get some too. Triple H fights him off and goes for a Pedigree but when Angle swings with a steel chair for Triple H, he moves and Kurt hits Undertaker across the back instead! Triple H gets out of the ring and out of the way trying to save his body for the title match at King of the Ring leaving Kurt alone with a furious Undertaker.

Backstage as Stacy Keibler tells Mr. McMahon how excited she is to see The Rock at the King of the Ring they're interrupted by Undertaker, who wants a match with Kurt Angle tonight. No forgiveness for mistakes. Vince says no. He needs both of them to focus on their PPV matches. Undertaker doesn’t accept no - he isn’t asking, he’s telling him. Later a distraught Kurt Angle doesn’t want to face the Undertaker and asks Vince to cancel the match who can’t because he’s afraid of Undertaker too, even though he pretends he isn’t. Kurt fires up and says that tonight he’ll send a message to Hulk Hogan and use Undertaker to do it and maybe he’ll break Undertaker’s ankle tonight!

In a final backstage segment before the main event, Vince is concerned that his two boys - Undertaker and Kurt Angle - may injure each other before King of the Ring. He calls two of the agents into his office, two men that long time WWE fans will easily recognise. John Laurenitis and Fit Finlay. He asks to speak with both Undertaker and Angle and sends them off to fetch them and then tells Stacy he’ll “see her back at the hotel” and forces another kiss on her. Eugh, why does he ruin everything? After a break for the PPV card run down (which you’ll find below) he encourages them to shake hands and promise that tonight’s main event will be a good clean competition with no one getting hurt.They insult each other and when Undertaker calls Kurt cue ball he attacks him and they have to be held apart. Vince takes a shot in the brawl and is left as angry at Kurt as The Undertaker is! 

Kurt Angle enters first and immediately grabs a steel chair to wait for Undertaker in the ring. He’s ready for a fight. The WWE Champion rides his bike to the ring but Kurt keeps swinging the chair and won’t let him in the ring until the referee confiscates it. Kurt starts fast and aggressive and takes Taker down into an ankle lock early but he fights free and the match continues. The fans are surprisingly into this heel vs. heel main event. Both men have their fans I guess. After a good back and forth, Kurt counters a chokeslam attempt into a roll through and locks Undertaker in the ankle lock, twisting and wrenching and dragging him back into the middle of the ring. Undertaker rolls through to escape it and connects with a chokeslam but before he can cover, Triple H comes down to distract him. That leaves him easy pickings for a roll up and Kurt Angle wins this non-title match. Undertaker and Triple H start to brawl right after the bell and Hulk Hogan takes his chance to come down and he actually puts Angle in his own ankle lock. Kurt taps out. Undertaker breaks that up with a boot to the face and a chokeslam but he should have stayed focused on Triple H as he takes a Pedigree and Triple H closes Smackdown as the last man standing over Angle, Hogan and Undertaker. 

King of the Ring Semi Finals Lock In

In the first of two King of the Ring quarter finals tonight, Chris Jericho takes on The Big Valbowski. Dumb name aside, given that the winner of the tournament will now main event Summerslam I’d say that makes the outcome of this match pretty obvious. It’s surprisingly back and forth and when the referee goes down, Val actually has a visual victory with a fisherman suplex. No referee to count means a low blow from Jericho and he locks in the Walls of Jericho for a submission victory. Jericho will now face Raw’s Rob Van Dam in the semi-finals.

Backstage, Hardcore Holly goes to confront Test and tells him not to take him lightly. Test tells him he’ll show how serious he is when he kicks Holly’s teeth down his throat. That match is next and the winner will face Raw’s Brock Lesnar in the semi-finals. Test wins a short back and forth with a Big Boot and moves on to the PPV and the final four. After the match, Mark Lloyd interviews Test and asks his thoughts on Brock Lesnar. The Next Big Thing will get the Next Big Boot. He says he’ll be the real Next Big Thing.

There’s also an interview with Chris Jericho who mocks his semi final opponent RVD and says that he and Test will both win and give us an all Smackdown final and an all Canadian final.

Other Happenings

• Rikishi goes one on one with Christian. Riksihi puts down Christian with a superkick after a short match and covers. Christian has his foot on the ropes but the referee doesn’t see it and counts the three anyway. Rikishi wins and dances to celebrate as Lance Storm comes down to the ring and he and Christian have a blazing row with the referee over the mistake. After a commercial break, Rikishi is gone and Storm and Christian are in the ring with a microphone. He says he got screwed last week and it happened again to his good friend Christian. It’s prejudice against Canadian athletes. The American referees and superstars are prejudiced against him and his fellow Canadians and he’s sick of the mistreatment. Christian smiles and nods - he’s buying what Storm is selling and agrees! It’s not just the company though and he says America is prejudiced against every other country in the world. He’s absolutely right. He says Americans think they’re better than everyone else. The fans cheer and chant “USA”. He says that there is a reason the rest of the world HATES them and they deserve to be hated. “America sucks!” As a kid I booed the heels and cheered the babyfaces but as an adult? I’m fully team Lance Storm and Christian on this.

• Backstage, Nidia helps her boyfriend Jamie Noble get ready for his Smackdown debut - a match with Billy Kidman to decide who will face the Hurricane for the Cruiserweight title at King of the Ring. She reveals that she has Hurricane’s stolen mask under her skirt. That match is next and is very fast but short. Thanks to Nidia tripping Kidman on the top rope, Noble spikes him with an elevated DDT which looked sick as hell. Noble wins and is officially the number one contender. Nidia pulls the mask out from under her skirt and puts it on Noble who celebrates but its short lived as the lights go out and a maskless Hurricane appears behind him. He drills his challenger with a chokeslam and reclaims his mask! He probably needs to wash it before he wears it. 

• Backstage, Dawn Marie and Stacy Keibler continue to argue over Mr. McMahon’s attention and mention that they’ll both be in the lingerie contest “on Tuesday” which is what Vince mentioned on Raw to Jackie Gayda. Torrie Wilson is also there and strips off to show some jewellery around her waist to them. I’m actually pretty relieved to find out that the lingerie contest won’t be eating up time during Raw or Smackdown.

Dramatic changes and a huge departure leaving a Rattlesnake shaped hole in the Raw roster. They’ve course corrected and with Flair as a babyface and back as a wrestler, the return of Shawn Michaels and many rising stars including Brock Lesnar, Booker T and Edge the roster on both brands is still in good shape.

As has become tradition, there’s a run down of the card for the upcoming PPV which I think is a cool thing to be able to include at the end of these Previews

WWE Undisputed Championship

The Undertaker ©  vs. Triple H

Hollywood Hulk Hogan vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie Guerrero vs. Ric Flair

WWE Women’s Championship

Trish Stratus © vs. Molly Holly

WWE Cruiserweight Championship

The Hurricane © vs. Jamie Noble (w/Nidia)

King of the Ring Tournament Semi Final

WWF Intercontinental Champion Rob Van Dam (Raw) vs. Chris Jericho (Smackdown)

King of the Ring Tournament Semi Final

Brock Lesnar (w/Paul Heyman) (Raw) vs. Test (Smackdown)

Plus the Finals of the 2002 King of the Ring Tournament