Raw - January 20th 2003

Triple H gets some impressive backup

Raw opens with Triple H, still the World Heavyweight Champion, flanked by Ric Flair. Last night, Triple H got himself intentionally disqualified to keep his title and he looks beat up, with a bandage on his head and a big black eye. JR and King really put over Scott Steiner - no one has ever pushed The Game to the limit quite like Big Poppa Pump, apparently. Triple H can’t even pose properly because he’s selling his ribs too. The match itself? Well you’ve read my review OBVIOUSLY so you already know it was terrible which ironically makes me more excited for a rematch than if it was good. Triple H’s promo is basically that he is still the World Champion and that’s all that matters. He brags that he survived “30 minutes” with Freakzilla (the match only went 17 minutes) and says that Steiner is an embarrassment, which is true. He says there will be no rematch, which brings Big Poppa Pump charging to the ring, clearly disagreeing. Steiner isn’t here to talk, he’s here to fight and he wants his rematch tonight on Raw. Triple H says he’d be HAPPY to wrestle Steiner again tonight but he has a note from his doctor and can’t. That draws boos from the crowd and mocking from both commentators. Ric Flair steps in and says that if Steiner wants to wrestle tonight, he can wrestle his main man Batista. The big man then comes out - looking sharp all dressed up - and Triple H attacks Steiner from behind. He’s quickly fought off and Flair and Triple H hold back Batista. That sets up the match for later but perhaps more importantly, this officially brings together Batista and Triple H who have both been managed by Ric Flair for about 2 months but hadn’t interacted until now.

Backstage, a pumped up Scott Steiner bumps into Randy Orton who is a smug asshole, talking about how he’s now 95% recovered and rubbing it in about his loss at the Rumble. Steiner grabs Orton and slams him against a wall for his cheek.

Before the main event, Ric Flair pumps up Batista to take out Scott Steiner and prove what a big time player he is and will be. The Nature Boy isn’t wrong about Big Dave. 

Batista got down to the final four of the Royal Rumble and is now main eventing Raw so it's fair to say he’s achieved a high spot on the card already. There’s a lot of muscles and beef in this match and Steiner continues to look impressive in short bursts, throwing Batista across the ring with a suplex. Randy Orton runs down and attacks Scott Steiner, causing a disqualification. Ric Flair also rushes the ring. Steiner fights them both off but Triple H makes the different and with four on one odds, Triple H, Ric Flair, Batista and Randy Orton beat the hell out of Scott Steiner. Randy seamlessly fits in with this group and helps Batista hold Steiner up for a brutal beating by Triple H, busting Freakzilla open. The beatdown finally ends with a Pedigree - Steiner actually held his arms up for Triple H before he reached for them, which I won’t hold against him as lots of people make that same mistake including Shawn Michaels. The foursome link arms and celebrate together and a stable is born, but don’t have their name yet. I won’t ruin it - we’ll get to it when we get to it!

Return of the Rattlesnake?

The show opened with a video reminding us of Vince McMahon’s ultimatum to General Manager Bischoff last week. He has 30 days to turn Raw upside down or he’s fired. At the Royal Rumble, Bischoff promised the world a bombshell and tonight both times we’ve seen him backstage he seemed very pleased with himself. Before going down to the ring to share his bombshell with us, he’s throwing darts at a picture of Shane McMahon. Bischoff vs. Shane O’Mac did indeed become a thing later in the year.

Eric Bischoff heads down to the ring, still with a big smile on his face. Eric drags it out a little before telling us that his big realisation came at the Raw 10th Anniversary celebration. He shows footage of Stone Cold Steve Austin being appointed the Raw Superstar of the Decade and Vince McMahon saying that Stone Cold wasn’t invited to the award show. In between showing us more classic clips of Stone Cold raising hell on Raw (the beer truck segment just before Wrestlemania 15 is still amazing) he reveals that not only will Stone Cold tell us his side of the story in Raw magazine, but he is invited to make his return to WWE and Raw at No Way Out. The fans actually boo that - they were hoping he was here tonight. They should have thought more carefully about the wording. After the segment, King and JR discuss it and whether its true and that Stone Cold will be returning at No Way Out - JR doesn’t know anything.

The Dudleys fight The Man

In Eric Bischoff’s office, Chief Morley has a conversation with referee Nick Patrick. He’s working to improve the relationship between the administration and the referees and gets Nick to watch the finish of last night’s World Tag Team Championship match. He points out to Nick that D-Von used Regal’s brass knuckles to win the match. Morley says that this has NOTHING to do with his personal feelings about The Dudley Boyz. He then heads out to the ring along with a sad looking Nick Patrick because he wants to make him publicly apologise. Morley pushes Nick Patrick to reverse his decision and award the Tag Team titles back to Lance Storm and William Regal. Nick says that’s not how it works and a referee’s decision is final and so he cannot do that.

Chief Morley then calls Bubba Ray and D-Von down to the ring to deal with this himself. Bubba drops in to give hand slaps and a salute to JR and King given their history of helping the commentators out against the Morley and Bischoff regime. He tells them that they need to do the right thing and forfeit the titles back to the former Champions. The Dudleyz are, unsurprisingly, unwilling and after some back and forth, the crowd starts chanting for tables. Bubba says that the only thing he and D-Von regret is not breaking out the tables last night. Morley tries to snatch the tag title belts and gets punched in the mouth for it, and D-Von and Bubba Ray get the tables! Nick Patrick hovers around, unsure what to do as the Tag Team Champions set up a 3D through the table. Bischoff’s Chief of staff is recused by Lance Storm and William Regal, both armed with brass knuckles. They slam Bubba Ray through his own table, at which point Morley declares that this is now a World Tag Team title match. The referee reluctantly rings the bell and William Regal covers the already unconscious Bubba Ray Dudley to regain the World Tag Team titles, ending The Dudleyz 16th title reign less than 24 hours after it began. 

Jericho’s Mistake

After a video package about last night’s Royal Rumble, specifically Chris Jericho taking out Shawn Michaels immediately and then being attacked by HBK for it later in the night, Chris Jericho faces the man who actually eliminated him from the match thanks to Michaels, Test. Stacy Keibler looks especially lovely tonight - Test is a lucky guy.

Jericho still has a big angry red knot on his head from Tommy Dreamer’s kendo stick, and comes to the ring with a microphone. His dream was stolen from him by Shawn Michaels and Test and so he’s going to take out his anger on Test tonight. Jericho did have a very good performance in the Rumble match despite is loss - he entered at number 2 and was still in the ring when number 25 entered and got more eliminations than anyone else in the match. They brawl to the outside and Jericho grabs a steel chair, swinging for Test in frustration. He misses and hits the ring post, but poor Stacy who was standing right next to the post gets blasted right in the face with a steel chair! She goes down and stops moving and both commentators go very quiet as referees and officials rush down to check on her. Even Jericho looks upset and concerned by what happened.

JR and King being so quiet during all of this makes it feel far more serious and sinister. It looked and sounded devastating but I’m sure was perfectly safe and Stacy was fine, which is the ideal way to do an angle like this of course. As Jericho leaves, he protests that it wasn’t his fault and that it was an accident. Getting Stacy onto a stretcher and carried away from ringside took a very, very long time which I suspect was done to make it seem more real - this kind of thing does take ages in real life too.

Other Happenings

• Jeff Hardy takes on Rob Van Dam tonight. This is a matter of pride as while both men are fan favourites, Jeff challenged RVD because Van Dam eliminated him from the Royal Rumble match last night. JR is good during this match, reminding us of their history since the Invasion and battles over the Hardcore title as well as their Ladder match in July 2002 for the Intercontinental and European titles. Jeff hits the Swanton Bomb but RVD amazingly kicks out and then scores the victory with a backslide. He offers jeff a handshake after the match with a smile but Hardy is very frustrated by the loss, slapping his hand away. RVD celebrates and Jeff tackles him, preparing to crack him with a steel chair! I commented that Jeff hasn’t been on TV much lately and clearly the frustration is getting to him. He doesn’t hit RVD with the steel chair and instead leaves, trying to calm himself down.

• Backstage, Christian and Chrisopher Nowinski discuss how they should have been the final two in the Rumble match. Chris is sporting a nasty black eye caused by Edge landing hard on his head off the top rope. I talked about the long term ramifications of that injury during the Rumble match.
• Tommy Dreamer (wearing a HBK t-shirt) faces D’Lo Brown in a singapore cane match. To everyone’s surprise, D’Lo Brown has former referee Teddy Long with him. Teddy served as a manager for a long time in WCW and returned to that role after being a referee for several years. Long says that while Martin Luther King was a hero, he was a pacifist and you don’t get anywhere going that route. The only way a black man can succeed in this world is to take measures into his own hands. D’Lo was excluded from the Royal Rumble match but Tommy Dreamer wasn’t because he’s white! This is the start of a crusade to make every WWE superstar get down with the Brown. D’Lo says he’s going to cane a white boy’s ass, which gets boos and disgust from JR and King who, as middle aged white men, are obviously the best people to speak up about whether the WWE is racist or not. D’Lo aggressively beats the crap out of Tommy with a kendo stick and finishes with the Sky High to pick up the win. Down with the Brown indeed.

• Booker T and Goldust take on 3-Minute Warning, with Rico. It’s a fairly unimpressive match but I did enjoy King very clearly not knowing which one is Rosey and which one is Jamal and trying to hide it. Some miscommunication by Rico on the apron trying to help leads to a Scissors Kick to Jamal and a victory for Booker T and Goldust.
• Earlier today, the finalists for Tough Enough 3 were down at The World with Al Snow. Special mention to John Hennigan who went on to have a very successful and long career as Johnny Nitro/John Morrison and about a million other gimmick names. 

• In a mixed tag team match, Women’s Champion Victoria and Steven Richards take on Trish Stratus and The Hurricane. The rules of this match say that the men and women aren’t supposed to wrestle each other but they ignore that and do anyway. Steven is about to spike Trish with a DDT but Hurricane rescues her with a jumping kick and Trish follows with a Stratusfaction bulldog to Victoria to win the match for her team.

Smackdown - January 23rd 2003

Three Big Smackdown Returns

Smackdown opens with Stephanie McMahon announcing that tonight, The Undertaker returns to Smackdown but that’s not all - Eric Bischoff dropped a bombshell on Raw about Stone Cold Steve Austin but she has her own big surprise to reveal tonight. 

Backstage, Josh Matthews interviews The Big Show and asks him about Undertaker’s return - he’s been gone for three months since Big Show threw him off the stage. Big Show doesn’t actually answer and just grabs Josh’s face instead.

The Undertaker rides down to the ring to address the people. His hand is all healed up and he looks in great shape actually. He says that there’s too much talking and not enough ass kicking so he won’t waste anyone’s time - he wants to fight The Big Show. He rolls some footage of Big Show’s first night on Smackdown where he launched Undertaker off the entrance ramp and caused him to be missing for three months. It was a great spot and this was the first of something that became a regular occurrence - Undertaker disappearing for long periods to heal up and rest his body as he entered the second half of his very, very long career.

A suit wearing Big Show comes out onto the ramp and says that while he could come down to the ring and beat him up and put him out for even longer than three months this time, he’s been listening to his agent Paul Heyman’s advice and has a little plan of his own. Undertaker isn’t fighting him tonight, he’s fighting The A-Train. In fairness, A-Train did beat up Undertaker at the Royal Rumble too, so is someone else he’d want to fight. Michael Cole confirms that A-Trains finisher which I’ve still been calling the Baldo Bomb is now known as the Derailer. I wonder why they didn’t go with A-Bomb? Maybe that’s offensive, given that the USA was at war with most of the middle east during this period. This is a big physical match and when Undertaker hits a chokeslam, it’s a shock when A-Train kicks out. A Last Ride is countered with a backdrop to keep the match going and Undertaker manages to kick out of the Derailer. The American Badass locks in the Taking Care of Business, his dragon sleeper hold and gets a submission victory in his return to Smackdown. 

Smackdown’s Number One Announcer Funaki goes to find out what Stephanie McMahon’s big surprise is. She teases him about his English - mean - and promises that she’ll reveal her surprise next. The camera then pans across to show a big picture of Hulk Hogan in her office and then, after a commercial break, Hollywood Hulk Hogan returns! Hulk Hogan enters to Jimi Hendrix’ Voodoo Child in full Hulkamania glory, air guitaring to the ring as the fans go nuts. I’ve made it clear I’m not a big Hogan fan now but I was at the time and his return after six months was a big deal. You can tell we’re getting into Wrestlemania season with Austin and Hogan returning and they aren’t the only ones!

Hogan milks the crowd reaction for as long as he can, soaking in the deafening cheers and Hogan chants and getting emotional - something he did in most of his post-2002 return appearances. He actually milked it for so long that the show went to a commercial break in the middle. After, I’m not kidding, eight minutes of the crowd cheering and Hogan standing around with no commentary, he finally tells us that he has signed a new contract and is back in the WWE. He says he’s got some old business to handle and some new business to handle and he’ll do it all with his Hulkamanias behind him with the red and yellow on his back. His feel good promo is cut off by the chairman of the WWE, Vince McMahon making a surprise appearance of his own. He does NOT look happy to see the Hulkster. He says hes disappointed in Stephanie’s big announcement and says that in 2003, Hulkamania is just like Al Wilson - dead. (that made Tazz and Cole laugh but I don’t think it was supposed to, it got a little snort) Hogan says that since this is probably his last comeback (it wasn’t) he wants to get in the ring with Vince McMahon himself! Vince tells him that he doesn’t answer to Hogan or these people, he only answers to himself. Hogan rocks Vince with a big right hand, laying him out in the ring. Will that motivate the boss into accepting the challenge? 

Rough Night for Team Angle

In the arena, Chris Benoit hot off his very impressive losing performance for the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble faces Charlie Haas, accompanied by his Team Angle mate Shelton Benjamin. Team Angle have lovely new matching sweatsuits to wear over their ring gear. I love that look. This is a good, long match where Haas gets a chance to show off his skills. Both he and Shelton are being slotted into a high position feuding with main eventers and former and future World champions from day one so this presentation for both men is very effective, especially “out-wrestling” someone like Chris Benoit in his prime. Benoit scores the win out of nowhere with a roll up, barely escaping with the victory. Tazz and Cole are good here, hammering home that Benoit doesn’t need his submissions and suplexes to beat a man, he can just out-wrestle anyone. This was all good stuff and isn’t the last we’ll see of Team Angle tonight. 

In the second Team Angle match tonight, Charlie Haas accompanies Shelton Benjamin to face Edge. He’s very impressive, focusing his attack on Edge’s lower back.

Much like with Haas earlier, Shelton looks very strong and controls the whole match until Edge catches him with a Spear out of nowhere to earn a hard fought victory. Will the Team Captain have more luck for Team Angle in tonight’s non-title main event? Backstage, he tells both Charlie and Shelton off for losing. He’s both angry AND disappointed. Team Angle is about having the three Is and being a winner. He tells them to sit backstage and watch how he gets things done. 

Brock Lesnar appears in a pre-taped promo about winning the Royal Rumble. He says he’s a goal orientated person and lists all of the goals he has achieved since his debut 12 months ago. Winning the Royal Rumble was another goal but now he has two more goals - giving Paul Heyman an F5, and beating Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania. 

Rey Mysterio vs. WWE Champion Kurt Angle in a non-title match is Kurt’s chance to slow down Team Angle’s decline tonight. He doesn’t have Haas and Benjamin with him, but he does have Paul Heyman. Kurt isn’t wearing the bull sweatsuit but is wearing the top with his hood up - he looks cool as hell as WWE Champion. The action here is as crisp and polished as you’d expect and there’s a small but vocal group in the crowd who are solidly behind the champion chanting “lets go Angle”. Kurt’s definitely healed up from his knee injury and has no problem keeping up with Mysterio. Rey gets near fall after near fall with a springboard leg drop and a moonsault and counters out of the ankle lock but is taken down again with a wicked suplex. Kurt counters the West Coast Pop into a flapjack right onto the top rope and then rolls through into a cover to pick up the win in an awesome match.

He isn’t done and locks Mysterio in the ankle lock until Edge runs down to rescue his tag team partner. As Kurt leaves he’s attacked from behind by Chris Benoit who sends the WWE Champion back to the ring. A German suplex, a Spear and a 619 later, Kurt is left flat on his back. He did tell Team Angle to stay in the back and watch. 

Other Happenings

• Rikishi looks for revenge on Bill Demot, who has an injured wrist which is taped up from during the Royal Rumble match. Rikishi focuses on the injured arm like a valiant babyface. Rishisi finishes Demot off with the Rump Shaker, handing him his first loss since this recent change in attitude. He couldn’t bully cruiserweights forever I guess.
• The same video package promoting Nathan Jones that aired at the Royal Rumble is shown here, seemingly officially confirming that he’ll be coming to Smackdown when he debuts. 

• In the locker room, Matt Hardy tells Shannon Moore that while he continues to be a disappointment, he is showing some promise. He blames Shannon for not catching him when Brock Lesnar threw him out of the ring and tells him he needs to give Nunzio a Mattitude adjustment tonight. Matt then goes to see Nunzio solo and asks him to teach his MFer a lesson. Nunzio goes into a long story about how often he used to have to bail his friend out of trouble for shoplifting. Matt looks like he’s having a hard time keeping a straight face as Nunzio talks about “the Family” in his thick New York accent.
• There’s another Sean O’Haire video, this time where he encourages people not to pay their taxes. Yes I will be capturing all of the Sean O’Haire videos as a testament to how much I like this gimmick.

• Shannon Moore, with Matt Hardy faces newcomer Nunzio. He works on Moore’s arm and hits a nice leg drop off the middle rope which Tazz calls the Scissian Slice. Shannon Moore wants to impress Matt Hardy and tells him he’s going to use the Twist of Fate but pays for it, walking into an armbreaker which gives Nunzio the win - still a terrible finisher. Matt Hardy chases Shannon away, threatening to beat him up for losing but then goes back to the ring and gives Nunzio a handshake. Alright then? After the next segment, Moore hides in an empty equipment case from Matt backstage.

Raw - January 27th 2003

Steiner is Broken

Raw opens with a video recap of last week’s happenings which I’ve captured because the formation of this group is historically very important. 

Scott Steiner arrives at the arena and wastes no time heading straight down to the ring to call out Triple H for the attack last week, which he does. Triple H comes out onto the stage with a confident smile and his black eye from the Royal Rumble mostly healed up. He says that he’s already proven he’s better, bigger and smarter than him but since Steiner wants another fight, maybe he’ll prove it one more time. He says that from now on when you call out Triple H, you don’t JUST get Triple H - Ric Flair, Batista and Randy Orton come out and join in. This union is now official, and they’re all dressed very sharply. The four of them head down to the ring to beat down Big Poppa Pump four on one but Steiner doesn’t back down and invites the fight - he’s not afraid of anyone. Steiner had a metal pipe hidden in his foot! He hits Orton in the ribs and chases off Batista and Triple H and his new gang smartly back down.

The united force of Triple H, Ric Flair, Batista and Randy Orton go to see Eric Bischoff. He says that its a disgrace that Steiner is allowed to run around with a steel pipe and has been given a chance to earn a World title match. Triple H thinks better of it and with a smile, says he doesn’t care if Steiner wins the number one contender’s match next week or not.

In the main event, Kane and Rob Van Dam face Batista and World Heavyweight Champion Triple H, with both Ric Flair and Randy Orton in their corner. It’s honestly kind of comical how much longer Triple H’s entrance is than the other three men in this match - I think The Game was playing for longer and he was posing longer than Kane, RVD and Batista’s entrances combined. Triple H and Batista bump around the ring and make both Kane and RVD look strong and Kane gets on a roll, putting down Triple H with a sidewalk slam and Batista with a flying clothesline. Flair and Orton attack Kane, beating him down three on one when Batista joins in and Batista actually pulls Kane’s mask off, forcing him to crawl away and hide. Kane does a good job keeping his face covered with his hair and runs away to the back leaving RVD all alone against the foursome. He’s no match of course and Batista destroys him with a Batista Bomb for the victory. Triple H isn’t done proving his point and goes on the attack but Scott Steiner with his steel pipe arrives in time and chases them off. He’s attacked from behind by Chris Jericho and while he does fight off his opponent for next week, Big Poppa Pump is jumped from behind by Triple H and just like last week, Raw ends with a four on one attack on Freakzilla. Earl Hebner was, as always, enormously in the way blocking the camera and standing in the middle so thankfully Ric Flair throws him out of the ring. This is an infamous beat down as, while giving him a Batista Bomb, Steiner’s pants come down and we got a good look at his maroon briefs.

For the second week in a row, Steiner is left bloody and beaten in the ring by Triple H and his gang of henchmen but unlike last week, Chris Jericho is there to mock Steiner with pushups after they leave, and turns him over into the Walls of Jericho for good measure. 

Stone Cold’s side

In Eric Bischoff’s office, he and Chief Morley discuss Hulk Hogan’s return on Smackdown and now whether Vince McMahon will be so busy and distracted by that to remember to fire Bischoff. Eric hasn’t relaxed any - Vince doesn’t forget anything and he still only has two weeks to confirm that Stone Cold will be returning to Raw like he promised.

Eric Bischoff heads down to the ring with a mysterious envelope and announces that Stone Cold Steve Austin is NOT here tonight. In fairness, he didn’t say he would be. Eric told us that he’d return at No Way Out. Eric shows footage from WWE Confidential which aired last June while Austin walking out was still fresh. Specifically, some totally out of character comments by both Vince McMahon and JR where kayfabe is shattered and Vince admits that he and Steve were friends behind the scenes. Eric reveals that in the envelope is a copy of that month’s Raw magazine where Stone Cold will speak publicly and give his side of the whole story. Eric also mentions that he and Debra are now divorced too, which feels a bit like airing his dirty laundry for him. If you’re curious about what was said in that article, some of the key comments are summarised in my original article about him leaving

Bischoff encourages Austin to take him up on his offer and return at No Way Out because it’s what all these fans want. And of course because Bischoff needs it to happen to save his own job!

Fake Apology

Terri interviews Chris Jericho and after revealing that next week he’ll compete against Scott Steiner in a number one contender’s match, asks him about last week and his accidental chairshot to Stacy Keibler’s face, hospitalising her. He says that while it was an accident, he doesn’t owe anyone anything including an apology. He heads down to the ring to address the crowd anyway.

Jericho starts to ramp up like he’s going to apologise but then changes tact and talks about his number one contendership match next week. He says that he will beat Steiner, become World Champion and go to Wrestlemania just like he promised. He then offers a half-hearted apology to Stacy Keiber but doesn’t sound very sincere. He’s interrupted by his tag team partner Christian who comes down and tells Jericho that he doesn’t need to apologise for a damn thing - this isn’t a dance floor, this is a combat arena and so while it’s a shame what happened to Stacy, it's her own fault. JR keeps making fun of how Jericho said sorry - with a Canadian accent it comes out more like “sore-y”. Jericho blames Test for what happened - he ducked and Stacy got hurt, so he’s sorry that Stacy has a coward for a boyfriend, not for what he did. It’s NOT his fault. Test isn’t here tonight to stand up to Jericho but Shawn Michaels is and HBK interrupts the tirade. He makes fun of Jericho’s pants and calls him the real coward for striking a woman and for attacking him from behind at the Royal Rumble. He wants to fight and heads down to the ring, attacking both Jericho and Christian. He fights them both off, sending Christian up and over the ropes and taking aim with a Sweet Chin Music on Jericho, but he grabs the ropes and escapes the ring unkicked. 

The women take it to the streets

Backstage, Victoria warms up for her Chicago Street Fight by smashing a picture of Trish Stratus taped to a trash can with a kendo stick which Trish tapes up her fists, ready for a fight! Eric Bischoff is giving us a lot on these shows to try and keep his job. The first ever women’s street fight begins early when the women’s champion attacks Trish from behind during her entrance. The two women blast each other with trash cans and trash can lids - this is really physical and seeing the women use weapons is still a big enough novelty that the crowd was really hot for this whole match. Richards tries to help Victoria but accidentally sprays her with a fire extinguisher. Trish hammers him with a kendo stick for getting involved. He blocks her from hitting the Stratusfaction and Victoria knocks her off the apron which is enough to apparently knock her out and allow Victoria to get the pin and retain her title in a short, physical match. As Victoria leaves, she’s shoved out of the way by the returning Jazz. She’s been gone for months due to an injury which she blames Trish Stratus for and so she attacks Trish in the ring, dropping her on her face. Jazz pummels Trish and finally ends the beating after a stiff DDT with an STF, trying to injure Trish until finally the referee manages to convince her to break the hold and stop this attack. 

Other Happenings

• Booker T takes on Jeff Hardy. Much like last week with RVD, this is a match that Jeff Hardy asked for. He’s frustrated by all his recent losses and is desperately trying to get back on track with a big win. Last week he attacked RVD after the match but did at least stop short of using a steel chair as a weapon. I’ll get a chance to talk about it more at No Way Out but Jeff was struggling in real life at the moment. He’s off balance here and his years of risk taking and insane stunts were catching up to him - Jeff was in pain and taking a lot of pain medication among other things to fight through. Booker picks up the win with a roll up, just like RVD did last week, and celebrates with a Spinarooni. Jeff is a sore loser again and attacks Booker after that but his dive to the outside backfires and he knocks himself out on the security wall. JR and King spent most of the match discussing how there was something wrong with Jeff at the moment and that seems to have been confirmed.

• Terri interviews D’Lo Brown and his new manager Teddy Long. D’Lo has a match with The Hurricane tonight, so Teddy starts talking about how there’s no black superheroes so D’Lo Brown will be the first one (Black Panther, War Machine, Cyborg, Sam Wilson who was Falcon and the third Captain America, John Stewart the Green Lantern, Blade, Storm, Miles Morales, Nick Fury….there’s actually quite a few). King mentions that Teddy Long now wants to be known as Theodore Long, which is fine but is harder to type so I might keep calling him Teddy. D’Lo wins with a Sky High and then Theodore insists on being the one to raise his arm in victory rather than the referee.

• Another match signed by Bischoff to impress Vince McMahon, Lance Storm and William Regal defend the World Tag Team titles against The Dudley Boyz in a tables match. Both JR and King are deeply suspicious that Chief Morley would allow this to happen given his history with The Dudleyz so it seems like something is probably up. There’s a botch as the pre-match graphic shows the old design of the World Tag title belts, not the new one. Bubba Ray and D-Von absolutely demolish the champions, running through them quickly with all of their big trademark moves including a Wazzup headbutt and there’s a deafening roar of get the tables! D-Von does exactly that but can’t find a single table under the ring. Bubba joins him in looking but it’s correct - there isn’t a single table under the ring, or anywhere at ringside. So this WAS a setup. Chief Morley comes out onto the ramp with a table - the only one in the arena apparently. He keeps the challengers distracted and 3-Minute Warning and Rico jump them from behind. It’s now six on two which brings out Spike to help and he gives Jamal a Dudley Dog but his second one on Rosey is easily blocked by him and Rico. With so much help, Storm and Regal have no problem driving D-Von through the lone table to retain the World Tag Team Championships. 
• The two winners of Tough Enough 3 were John Hennigan and Matt Cappotelli and make their debut on Raw. Al Snow encourages them but Tough Enough 1 runner up Chris Nowinski is shown watching ominously from the shadows.

• I mentioned previously that John Hennigan went on to great things but sadly Matt’s career was cut short due to a brain tumor, wrestling his final match in 2005. He passed away in 2018 at only 38 years old. This is an exhibition match between the two and the impatient fans boo the two unknown newcomers. They run through a bunch of trainee wrestler moves until Nowinski runs to the ring, shoving Al Snow into the ring post. He says that he’s NOT bitter that he didn’t win his season of Tough Enough but these two are out here rubbing it in. Tommy Dreamer runs down and chases Nowinski away with a kendo stick. He congratulates the two winners and tells them how lucky they are to have this spot - on behalf of all the boys in the back and all the vertens, welcome to WWE and then he BLASTS both of them in the head with his kendo stick, knocking out both rookies. Welcome to WWE indeed. 
• Backstage, RVD and Kane talk about how they’re an undefeated tag team and their opponents Triple H and Batista have no chance. RVD gets a couple of big laughs, mentioning Kane having the chokeslam, then listing his own long, long list of special moves “and did I mention that you have the chokeslam?” and then getting Kane to do the RVD thumb point calling himself the “big red machine”.

• More guidance in life from Sean O’Haire, this time encouraging you to smoke, drink and spend less time at home - embrace your vices

Smackdown - January 30th 2003

Legendary Rematch

Vince McMahon is here tonight and is going to answer Hulk Hogan’s challenge last week. He confronts his daughter about why she’d bring back Hulk Hogan. She tries to deflect to Bischoff who’s trying to bring back Stone Cold and points out that Hulk Hogan is a huge star. Vince says that while Stephanie had a big surprise last week, he has a big surprise of his own tonight. Another big return to Smackdown?

As Mr. McMahon walks to the ring, he stops backstage to shake hands with Nunzio - is that a Godfather reference? And then gets down to the ring to deliver his big surprise. Is he going to accept Hulk Hogan’s challenge to a match? Vince delivered a long monologue about how Hulkamania isn’t real, and died a long time ago. He berates the fans for believing in him and says that Hogan himself doesn’t believe the crap he says. He says that the people owe him and Hogan owes him even more - he created Hulkamania, and he made Hulk Hogan. How dare he challenge him to a match?

This is one of those Vince promos where he makes the same point over and over and over for about 10 straight minutes so while he talked for ages I don’t have a ton more to add. Vince makes it seem like he’s going to accept Hulk Hogan’s challenge to a match at No Way Out but then reveals that Hogan’s opponent will actually be The Rock! A rematch from Wrestlemania last year, and the mention of The Rock’s name gets a lot of boos. Fans turned on him a little when we last saw him at Summerslam - the belief that Rocky has “gone Hollywood” and wrestling fans turning on him has come and gone many times over the past two decades. Vince then gives us a second surprise and presents, live via satellite, The Rock himself!

His hair is much shorter than when we last saw him, which was the first thing I noticed but really The Rock has been entirely bald for over two decades now so it shouldn’t surprise me. The Rock confirms that he's officially leaning into the fans' boos and mocks the crowd in Greenbay Wisconsin a little before moving on. He talks a lot about how much the fans and the people love him and then accepts the match - not for Vince McMahon but for The People. He sings his own praises and talks about how great he is and then dismisses Hulk Hogan as nothing. The Rock seems very conceited these days - this villainous Hollywood Rock is a lot of people’s favourite versions of The Rock and I’m one of them.

Messages sent and received

Josh Matthews asks Paul Heyman if his client Big Show will finally face Undertaker this week. Heyman says that Show has already told him that if they were to fight he’d end him, but Undertaker doesn’t want a fair fight, he wants revenge because he’s an animal. The Big Show is not here tonight so Undertaker will be disappointed. Later, Undertaker is shown arriving at the arena and elsewhere, Paul Heyman is on the phone to Big Show. he says he has a plan and spots Brian Kendrick standing chatting, Paul casually mentions that he was trained by Shawn Michaels (which is true) and says that seeing as he managed the last three WWE Champions, he is something that Kendrick should listen to. Brian says he’ll do anything to make it in this business, so he should follow Paul’s plan tonight.

As Bill Demot is leaving the ring after his victory over Rikishi, Undertaker rolls out on his motorbike not wanting to waste any time. Paul Heyman has already said that the Big Show isn’t here tonight. Undertaker says that he’s refusing to leave until he gets his hands on Big Show. After a commercial break, Undertaker is sitting on the ringsteps and says that he knows he should say something but his new philosophy is “shut up and fight”.

Big Show’s music hits but it's not the big man, it’s his agent Paul Heyman. Heyman says he has a message and Brian Kendrick rides down to the ring dressed as a telegram messenger. Someone in the production truck messed up as they continued to play the fake bike bell noises long after Kendrick had stepped off the bike. He sings an apology from Big Show, and Heyman assures him that it’s sincere. Undertaker says that he has a message for Big Show and turns to Kendrick, who is waiting for a tip. Undertaker says he has no brains, but he does have guts and he admires a kid with guts. Undertaker gets out his wallet and tips Brian Kendrick, but then when he asks him to sing the song again, boots him the gut and drills him with a massive Last Ride. That’s a fairly clear message for Big Show. Undertaker actually takes the tip back too - that’s mean.

Golden Ambitions

In the main event, Team Angle face Edge and Chris Benoit with the winners getting a shot at Los Guerreros WWE Tag Team titles next week. Beforehand, WWE Champion Kurt Angle pumps up Haas and Benjamin calling this the biggest match of their lives. 

Royal Rumble Winner Brock Lesnar’s only appearance on this week’s show is an edited recap of the promo he delivered last week about meeting and achieving his goals. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.

With Kurt in their corner, Haas and Benjamin have a good chance here tonight. He joins commentary to sing the praises of his two proteges but when he jumps up on the apron he pays for it with a Spear from Edge. Benoit and Edge isolate Charlie Haas in their corner, working him over and focusing on his left arm and shoulder. After a period of that, Team Angle turned the tables and isolated Edge, focusing on his leg and knee. 

After a hot tag to Benoit, he gets on a roll with suplexes and a diving headbutt but as the match breaks down, Kurt clobbers him in the back with the WWE title belt, allowing Shelton to pin him and Team Angle become the number one contenders to the WWE Tag Team Championships next week.

Other Happenings

• In the opening match, a grudge match between Rey Mysterio and A-Train. Last month, A-Train attacked Rey’s knee with a chair and caused him to need surgery but it must have been fairly minor surgery to have him back in action already. Rey uses his speed to keep A-Train off balance but runs into the Rerailer. Mysterio kicks out which shocked even me. A 619 is countered with a Bicycle kick and then the Trainwreck (his over the shoulder back breaker) gives A-Train the victory. 
• Eddie Guerrero with his Tag Team Championship partner Chavo takes on John Cena, with Red Dog. I apologise, I thought his first appearance before the Royal Rumble was his one and only Smackdown appearance but here he still is. I wonder why Cena ditched Bull Buchanan for Red Dog, rather than keep both and have an entourage but it’ll make even less sense in a couple of weeks when Red Dog goes to Raw and is completely repackaged. I’ve got a funny feeling this Cena kid will be ok though. This is one of Cena’s longest TV matches since his debut and he controls much of the tempo, thanks to interference by Red Dog. Chavo  - wearing Los Guerrero’s new “Cheat to win - it's a family tradition” t-shirt shoves Cena off the top rope and Eddie follows with a Frog Splash to pick up the victory. The fans were behind Eddie during all of this - they’re too entertaining to stay bad guys, something Cena himself will find out by the end of the year. 

• Matt Hardy continues to bully and mistreat poor Shannon Moore on the way to the ring - this week’s Matt fact is that he thinks Shannon has an iota of Mattitude. It’s a non-title match with Cruiserweight Champion Billy Kidman. Kidman picks up the win with a Shooting Star Press and while Matt continues to slap around and disrespect Moore, turns his focus to Billy Kidman and as loud Hardy sucks chants rain down, drops the Cruiserweight Champion with two Twist of Fates.

• In the third match of what is apparently now a best of infinity series, Rikishi faces Bill Demot again. Demot won the first one, Rikishi won the second so this is the rubber match. Demot slams Rikishi and gets the cover holding the ropes for leverage to steal an illegal victory.

Raw - February 3rd 2003

The Clock is Ticking for Bischoff

Raw begins with Eric Bischoff and Chief Morley on a phone call and two important plot points; Bischoff is in Texas trying to convince Stone Cold to return at No Way Out while Chief Morley runs Raw in Washington, and also that Eric has terrible cellphone reception and likely will be uncontactable for the rest of the night. I bet that comes up. Or they were acting like they couldn’t hear each other so the crowd would chant WHAT, but it didn’t work. Hilariously, later in the show JR and King explain that for some of the viewers in the States, this segment played in Spanish due to a technical glitch and have to explain what happened. 

Later in the show, Bischoff appears to be lost in the Texas wilderness and still without a phone signal. The limo driver doesn’t have Stone Cold’s address so I’m not clear how Eric is expecting him to find him. JR and King promote the Raw magazine again with “The Stone Cold Truth” and sell us on Austin saying some nasty things about The Rock, Triple H and WWE management. It’s difficult to use that as a selling point while maintaining kayfabe - he’s kicked all of their asses on TV many times so the real draw is him talking about them out of character, which obviously they can’t say on Raw.

Back in Texas, Eric Bischoff arrives at a very impressive stone building with a gate house and walls which Jim Ross confirms is indeed Stone Cold Steve Austin’s house. He knocks but the Rattlesnake isn’t at home - he’s at the Longhorn Saloon in town. If you needed any confirmation that Stone Cold really was going to be returning to the WWE it should be that he’s allowing them to film segments at his house. Bischoff refuses to accept Beuford’s word that Stone Cold isn’t home, but he assures him in his thick Texas drawl that Austin is looking forward to seeing him and is waiting at the saloon. 

Bischoff continues on the trail of the Rattlesnake and arrives at the bar. He orders a couple of cocktails and is laughed at by the locals. He just wants to find Stone Cold so the bartender tells him that Austin has moved on to the Silver Dollar. It’s nice that Austin is taking the opportunity to promote some of his favourite bars near his house - JR seems to know them all pretty intimately.

Eric Bischoff gets to the Silver Dollar to be told that once again, just just missed Stone Cold who has given him the runaround all night and isn’t going to be meeting Bischoff. As Eric leaves, a lid playing pool laughs at Bischoff and tells him that he won’t be signing the Rattlesnake and that Vince is going to fire his ass. Bischoff smashes his beer glass over the kid’s head and declares “screw Stone Cold!” as he leaves. I’m fairly certain that the young guy in this segment was Stone Cold’s little brother (uncredited, just one of those little references for people who know).

In the final segment of the show, Chief Morley tries to get Bischoff on the phone and struggles. The fans FINALLY catch on and chant WHAT as he can’t hear Bischoff. It took them all night to get that bit. Vince McMahon shows up and says that time is the most precious commodity and he is running out of time; next week, if Eric Bischoff doesn’t impress Vince McMahon then he’s going to call both he and Morley down to the ring and fire them both! 

Evolution Comes to Raw

Tommy Dreamer enters for his match against, I assume, Christopher Nowinski based on last week but before we find out, Triple H, Ric Flair, Randy Orton and Batista come out. Triple H is walking with a crutch - he has a blood clot in his leg that isn’t serious and was easily removed but means he has a bad leg for a couple of weeks. Orton, Batista and Flair attack Dreamer and with three on one odds have no problem beating him silly and dumping him out of the ring. The World Heavyweight Champion addresses the crowd and talks about evolution - these four men represent evolution. The past, present and future of sports entertainment. This promo gives the group their official name - Evolution. Obviously Ric Flair and Triple H were already main event talents but it’s hard to oversell what this group did for Randy Orton and Batista. In 2025, these four men have held a collective 50 World Championships even with Batista with the fewest having held six. An amazing record. Triple H individually puts over all four of them - Flair’s legendary greatness, the only diamond in this business, Batista’s 300lbs+ of pure stopping power, the biggest gun who will blow everyone away, Randy Orton has the business in his blood, a man with every gift a man can be given - raw genetic talent and of course himself - The Game, the best wrestler in the world today. I don’t agree with EVERY point but he wasn’t wrong that this is the Evolution of WWE. 

Terri interviews Big Poppa Pump Scott Steiner and after showing him footage of the group now known as Evolution beating him bloody and leaving him laying the past two weeks, asks how he’ll handle Chris Jericho. He has nothing to say - he shows his massive arms, which is fair enough. Afterwards, Evolution is shown hanging out in the arena’s luxury suite overlooking the arena with drinks, food and beautiful women serving them. 

Lance Storm and William Regal defend the World Tag Team Championships against Booker T and Goldust. Before the match, Goldust tells Booker that he is better off without him - he is capable of being a World Champion all on his own and he doesn’t want to keep him stuck in the tag ranks with him for another 6 months. He says that tonight that if they win the belts then great but if they don’t then they split up so that Booker can pursue his singles goals. Booker agrees but says it won’t matter because they’re about to win the Tag Team titles! Goldust is such a Debbie downer with all this weak link talk. He’s not wrong but still.

The match goes back and forth but after some miscommunication where Goldust crashes into Booker, a Lance Storm heel kick puts him down and Regal and Storm retain the Tag Team titles. After the match, Goldust is about to leave but Booker calls him back to the ring. He tells Goldie that they have nothing to be ashamed of and that he’s loved being his partner. They hug and go their separate ways. This was nice and it frees Booker T up to climb the card. That’s ironic is that while Booker definitely had the brighter future at the time, in 2025 Booker has been retired for years while Goldust/Dustin Runnels continues to wrestle and win championships.

Backstage, Randy Orton and Batista have been dispatched to find Scott Steiner - Triple H wants him beaten up to make things easier for Chris Jericho I guess. They find Goldust sitting feeling sorry for himself and when he ignores their questions, they attack him and beat him out into the arena. Orton and Batista wail on him and throw Goldust into the wall where his hand gets stuck in an electrical circuit board causing a shower of sparks and Goldie collapses, apparently having suffered a serious electrical shock.

Booker T wasn’t there to help him out as Booker left the arena earlier after being told Goldust had headed out, back to his hotel already. Goldust is put on a stretcher and carried out of the arena. Rough night for him.

In the main event, Chris Jericho faces Scott Steiner and the winner will face Triple H for the World Heavyweight Championship at No Way Out. The Game and the Nature Boy are looking on from their sky box. Jericho puts up a fight and almost gets Steiner into the Walls of Jericho, and almost steals a win with his feet on the ropes but with a sort of stalling suplex that looked like a Samoan Drop off the top rope, Steiner pins Jericho to officially become the number one contender.

Friendly match and Friendly advice

Back in Chief Morley’s office, he calls in Kane and RVD. Van Dam says he wants a rematch with Triple H and Batista, and then asks Kane why he ran away and left him alone last week? Kane lost his mask, so RVD asks if he’s spider-man and can only fight with his mask on? Does the mask contain all his power? They get a little heated about Kane abandoning Van Dam and Morley makes things worse by booking the fledgling friends against each other tonight.

Kane and Rob Van Dam have started to blend into a real tag team but if RVD pushes Kane too much to “come out of his shell” then he’ll scare him off and this could all backfire. Historically Kane has not taken well to people trying to remove his mask. Kane starts the match aggressively with a big clothesline and doesn’t take it easy on his buddy. The match doesn’t go long before Jeff Hardy runs down and shoves RVD off the top rope and gets involved. He pays for it when Kane blasts him with a chokeslam and then Van Dam follows with a Five Star Frog Splash. Kane and Van Dam are still friends but what was Jeff Hardy’s motivation? 

After a commercial break, Jeff Hardy is still laying in the ring having absorbed two finishing moves when Shawn Michaels comes down to the ring. HBK says that he came out to talk about Chris Jericho but since he has his hands full tonight with Scott Steiner, he’s going to give Jeff Hardy a little free advice. He tells him that he needs to figure out who he is - he empathises with his being angry at the world, trying to prove himself and he needs to make a decision and stick with it. Jeff fires up and says that he’s going to start kicking some ass, starting with Shawn Michaels. He charges…right into Sweet Chin Music! Jeff’s bad night got a little worse, but maybe he’ll take HBK’s advice.

Other Happenings

• Stacy Keiber makes her return to Raw after being blasted by a steel chair two weeks ago. She accepts that it was an accident but she says she can’t believe Jericho hasn’t apologised for it. Test takes the mic and is less polite - Jericho comes out and apologises or he’ll come backstage and beat an apology out of him. Jericho does come out and doesn’t look especially contrite with a sneer and his “Don’t be an AssClown” tshirt. He doesn’t apologise and instead talks about his number one contenders match with Scott Steiner later and then tells Stacy that he’s gotten over what happened, and suggests that she and Test get over it too! He keeps them distracted so that his buddy Christian can attack Test from behind, sending him crashing into Stacy. This is a rare situation where they’re treating a concussion with the seriousness it deserves as she sells and holds her neck and head. Test fights off Christian and beats the hell out of him and then, after a commercial break, takes Stacy backstage and leaves the arena to go back to their hotel and get her out of harm’s way for the rest of the night. The fans booed Test when he hugged Stacy which is the main reason pairing wrestlers with gorgeous women never works out for babyfaces - the fans get jealous and turn on them. 

• The Dudley Boyz take on 3-Minute Warning. With Morley in charge, this is sure to be another bad night for Bubba Ray and D-Von and that’s confirmed then the Chief comes out and makes Rico the special guest referee. Rico counts very slowly for Bubba’s pin and then counts extremely fast when Jamal rolls up Bubba to give his buddies the victory. The Dudleyz aren’t happy and blast Rico to keep the fight going. Spike runs down to join his two big brothers and gets a table so that after taking out Rosey and Jamal, they’re able to drive Rico through the table. Weirdly this week King seems to have forgotten all about his issues with the Bischoff administration and spends most of this match defending Morley’s actions and rooting against the Dudleyz. He’s a terrible commentator and I will die on this hill.

• In a non-title match, Women’s Champion Victoria faces Molly Holly. This is a heel vs. heel match so the fans aren’t super into it, but it's nice to see two of the best women’s wrestlers in the company get a few minutes to show off what they can do. It’s good! Before the match, there was a video recap of Jazz’s return last week to attack Trish Stratus

• Molly counters the Widow’s Peak and gets the fans behind her with chops but her handspring elbow is blocked with a clothesline to the back of the head and the second Widow’s Peak attempt is successful. It’s a great looking move and gets a groan from the crowd and is enough to win the match. Jazz ones again comes down to make an impact and attacks Molly, pushing Victoria aside and making the women’s champion watch as she spikes Molly with a DDT. It looks like Jazz is trying to prove a point to the women’s champion with these attacks. 
• D’Lo Brown, with Theodore Long, takes on Maven. I’m fairly certain Maven isn’t caucasian so there’s no race talk this week. A Sky High gives D’Lo another victory. He’s on a roll! It’s a shame this doesn’t last long because I always liked D’Lo. You can go back to my 1998 and 1999 shows where he was a bigger deal and confirm! After the match, Theodore tries to get the crowd to chant “Down with the Brown”. They do not. 

Smackdown - February 6th 2003

Hulkamania vs. Egomania

Just like last week, The Rock is far too important to appear on Smackdown in person these days and comes to us live via satellite. There’s more boos for the former People’s Champion. He makes fun of Philadelphia Cheesesteaks (which is where Smackdown was) and encourages the fans to chant his name - they don’t. He is officially a bad guy, and it’s by design as they are editing more fake boos into Smackdown to hammer home the point. He tells them that they can boo him if they want because he’ll always be the People’s Champion and electrify them anyway. He ends by asking why the people always cheer for Hulk Hogan and mockingly says that he’s good, but not great. Not like The Rock.

Hulk Hogan is live and in the arena. I didn’t mention it last week but since we last saw the Hulkster, he’s shaved off all the black stubble from his WCW Hollywood days and is rocking the classic Hulk Hogan facial hair only. I think it makes him look older, but it’s definitely his more iconic look. I just wish these shows had his Voodoo Child theme song rather than the dubbed, royalty free generic sound-a-like I’m forced to listen to. Before Hogan can speak after making his entrance, The Rock appears on the titantron again and cuts him off. He tells Hogan how great he looks and how much he can’t wait to face him again and now he’s going to sit back and let Hogan talk and put The Rock over. The Rock does big comedy yawns and pretends to fall asleep as Hogan starts to talk about what a coward Vince McMahon is. The Rock interrupts him again and tells him it's getting late and he needs to fast forward to the good stuff.

The Rock is obnoxiously chewing a snack and interrupts the Hulkster again because his tofu is ready. What an asshole. The Rock tells him that he’s going to leave him with the People and asks him not to bore his millions of fans. Hogan brings up that when The Rock appeared via satellite at the Raw 10th anniversary show he got booed there too, and then turns his attention to Vince McMahon. Hogan is engaging enough but this promo is what you’d expect - Vince McMahon didn’t make Hulkamania, the people did. He says the only thing that will be the same at No Way Out as it was at Wrestlemania X8 is that when he and The Rock are in the ring, all his Hulkamaniacs will be cheering Hogan and booing The Rock. He says this time he’ll be the one picking up the victory. Whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you? 

Team Angle excels

In the Team Angle locker room, Kurt says that he has to mentally prepare for his non-title match tonight against Chris Benoit so Haas and Benjamin will be on their own when they challenge for the WWE Tag team titles. He motivates them to do what they do best and that's to bring home the gold! That match is next with Los Guerreros defending their titles against Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. All four of these men are fantastic athletes and the more experienced Guerreros isolate Charlie Haas in their corner, tagging in and out quickly and working him over. I didn’t notice initially but Team Angle does have Paul Heyman at ringside with them for moral support and likely some illegal help too. Heyman is a busy man these days with so many clients! Los Guerreros show off their creative cheating, pulling Shelton crotch first into the ring post behind the referee’s back. The fans haven’t quite caught on to this new babyface version of Eddie and Chavo where the fact that they’re cheats is part of their charm, but give it time. The match breaks down and Eddie and Chavo hit a nice superplex and Frog Splash combo on Haas but Benjamin breaks up the pin at the last second. This is a really good match and Heyman makes the difference as he blocks Eddie from going for a Frog Splash. Chavo takes out Heyman and Haas rolls up Eddie to steal the win and become the new WWE Tag Team Champions. Great stuff. 

In the main event, WWE Champion Kurt Angle has a non-title Royal Rumble rematch with Chris Benoit. I didn’t remember just how many times these guys wrestled each other on TV. I mention that because while they will be opposite each other in a couple of tag team matches, and they actually teamed together for a while later in the year, this is the last ever televised singles match between these two men to the best of my knowledge. It’s probably as good as their excellent Royal Rumble match, but the stakes are much lower with no WWE title on the line here. Paul Heyman adds to it, screaming at ringside whenever Kurt is in trouble and roaring approval when Kurt has control. Benoit misses a diving headbutt and comes up bleeding and then Kurt follows with an Angle slam to cleanly defeat Chris Benoit, fair and square. Kurt celebrates with Paul Heyman and his WWE Championship belt and offers Benoit a handshake. These two despite their long rivalry have always spoken in glowing terms about how good they both are. Haas and Benjamin rush the ring and jump Benoit from behind which Kurt immediately joins in - it was a setup. Edge runs down to try and help and is also taken down and Haas, Benjamin and Angle have a three on two advantage until Brock Lesnar rushes the ring to even the odds. Shelton and Haas were dispatched with F5s so Smackdown can end on a staredown between Wrestlemania XIX’s main event - Lesnar and Angle.

Brotherly Love

Smackdown opens with a very odd sight - there is a huge crane set up in the arena so it can lower a huge wooden gift wrapped crate to the ring. The label says “To Undertaker, from Big Show”. The crane gets the present out of the way so the show can continue until we’re ready for it. 

Paul Heyman enters the arena and requests that the crane operator move the gift box back down to the ring so that he can talk about it. After a commercial break, that’s been done and says that while Undertaker rejected Big Show’s apology and singing telegram last week, he won’t be able to reject this gift. Big Show isn’t here again tonight but he asks Undertaker to come down to the ring and accept this “most appropriate gift” from his favourite client. Undertaker does come out to the ring and Paul Heyman smartly leaves him alone with the present. I can’t help but notice how very ginger Undertaker’s hair looks here. In the present is Brother Love! He was Undertaker’s original manager when he originally debuted in 1990. “I LOVE YOU!” and he jumps into Undertaker’s arms with a big hug. “Brother Deadman” looks like he’s struggling not to laugh. He has a message of love and forgiveness from Big Show. Undertaker is unmoved and spikes Love with a tombstone in the middle of the ring. Apology not accepted.

Other Happenings

• In the opening match, Jamie Noble is sporting a nice new haircut when he takes on Rey Mysterio. The way Noble and Nidia kiss makes me wonder if they actually were dating in real life - they really lick and tongue each other! Rey Mysterio picks up the win with a 619 and West Coast Pop.
• Rikishi takes on Nunzio. The big man has no problem crushing Nunzio and while he spares him from a Stink Face, finishes him really quickly with a Rump shaker. Rikishi is about to dance when Nunzio grabs the mic and says that he is trying to embarrass him and “the people he’s with” won’t like that. Who are the people Nunzio is with? How ominous. 

• Backstage,  when Brock Lesnar arrives at the arena and runs into Hulk Hogan who of course he beat senseless and sent into presumed retirement back in July. It’s tense and Lesnar welcomes the Hulkster back with a confident smile. That’s not very babyface, Brock. 
• This week’s Matt Fact is that Matt usually exceeds the speed limit. That is illegal, Matthew. His opponent is Cruiserweight Champion Billy Kidman. Matt uses Shannon Moore as a human shield which allows him to take early control of the match. Kidman is dominated but counters a Twist of Fate into a roll up for the victory which the commentators treat like a huge upset despite Billy Kidman being a champion and someone who consistently wins matches anyway. After the match, Matt Hardy tells Tazz and Cole that he is going to prove how strong his Mattitude is by losing 10lbs so that he qualifies as a cruiserweight so that not only can he beat Kidman next time but he can take his Cruiserweight title from him too. 

• Backstage, the assembled locker room is shown watching Hulk Hogan on the screens, enraptured by the Hulkster. Sean O’Haire shows up and goes up to Brian Kendrick. He tells him how much he admires his guts for doing what he did with the Undertaker last week. Kendrick says that he’ll do anything to make it in WWE. Sean brings up a commercial that was airing in the states at the time and basically encourages Kendrrick to get naked and streak through the arena, in order to get lots of attention. “I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know”. Brian Kendrick does indeed run down to the ring with no clothes on - it’s pixelated so I suspect that he was wearing some flesh coloured underwear.

• Shannon Moore faces A-Train. He is almost instantly demolished with a Bicycle kick and Train Wreck to give A-Train the victory. Brian Kendrick is still running around as a streaker, in the crowd wearing only a scarf and sneakers. Kendrick is a good looking kid so I’m sure lots of female fans were kind of into this. He escapes under the ring and runs through an official's legs to escape the arena with them giving chase. Kendrick runs all the way backstage and actually bursts into Stephanie McMahon’s office where he’s finally captured. Stephanie with a smile implies that she liked what she saw and that Kendrick had an erection. Fair enough! 

• John Cena, this week with no Red Dog or backup, calls out Brock Lesnar. He raps about how he’s not afraid of the “oversized oaf” and calls Lesnar stupid and clumsy. “You want the next big thing? Let me take my pants off”. Lesnar challenges Brock Lesnar to a match next week and says he’ll kick his ass. That was one of his better raps so far! 

Raw - February 10th 2003

Hirings and Firings

Tonight’s big story is Eric Bischoff. Vince McMahon gave him 30 days to turn Raw around and do something huge. Eric had his idea - to resign Stone Cold Steve Austin and has been scrambling to get it confirmed and now the 30 days are up! 

Easy E wastes no time and opens the show to let us know that he has not heard from Stone Cold Steve Austin and he has no idea if he’ll be at No Way Out or not. He says that as far as he knows, Vince McMahon may fire him here tonight when he arrives. Bischoff assures us that he’s reached out to Austin every way he can and he continues to be ignored. He sucks up to the crowd in LA and asks them to let Vince McMahon know how much they appreciate his hard work and that they support him. He’s met with loud boos which just pisses the General Manager off. He says that until Vince arrives he’s the boss and can do whatever the hell he wants and heads over to see Jim Ross - the voice of Raw and Stone Cold’s best friend. He makes Jim stand up and face him like a man. He berates Jim and blames him for Stone Cold now showing up yet. JR points out that maybe Stone Cold hates his guts and tells us about their history - Bischoff actually fired Steve Austin from WCW and told him he’ll never amount to anything. He tells JR that unless he can confirm that Stone Cold Steve Austin WILL be at No Way Out, he’s fired!

JR sadly gets up and leaves as a long black limo arrives in the parking lot, which Bischoff runs to meet and greet. It doesn’t contain Vince McMahon - it’s Evolution. Triple H is still using a crutch for his sore leg. Jerry Lawler commentates on his own for a bit until Jonathan Coachman goes out and takes JR’s place by orders of Eric Bischoff. 

Out in the parking lot, JR is on the phone trying desperately to get a hold of Stone Cold on the phone right now and save his job. King actually spends the whole show without him talking about how much he misses JR.

JR paces nervously in the parking lot trying to get Stone Cold on the phone and after a false alarm with his buddy Steve, Vince McMahon arrives in a limo and is baffled to see JR and demands to know what's going on. We don’t hear the rest of that conversation and after a commercial break, Mr. McMahon struts out into the arena. He says that sometimes he has to make tough decisions but tonight that isn’t the case, this is going to be SWEET. He calls Eric Bischoff and Chief Morley down to the ring and the fans sing “goodbye” at them as they do. Vince decides that he’s not going to fire Chief Morley - he’s going to give him a match and if he wins then he keeps his job. Morley is happy with that until Vince tells him the match will be him vs. Bubba Ray, D-Von and Spike Dudley in a three on one handicap match! He wishes him good luck and dismisses him to get ready. Vince looks overjoyed that he’s going to get to fire Eric Bischoff and asks him if he has signed Stone Cold to return at No Way Out. Eric deflects as much as he can but it’s a yes or no question and the answer is no. Vince says that as much he hates Austin, he admits he’d have let Eric keep his job if he had signed him. Bischoff scrambles to save his job as King and Coach have a good laugh at his expense. Bischoff says that he knows Vince loves action so he’s going to give him HOT LESBIAN ACTION and brings out a couple of beautiful women to try and appease the Chairman.

Not a terrible plan, especially now that we know what a massive pervert Vince was and is in real life. Vince dismisses the “bisexual lesbians” as Eric calls them because tonight he’s all business. He growls “YOU’RE FIRED” and as Eric leaves, Vince leads the crowd in singing goodbye to the now former General Manager. Vince gets some laughs, strutting and dancing around the ring like he’s having a seizure. 

When Vince gets backstage after a commercial break, World Tag Team Champions Lance Storm and William Regal suck up to him and call his decision brilliant. Vince promises that he will confirm who the new GM is before the night is over.

All three Dudleyz look very happy to be facing Chief Morley in a handicap match. It would appear to be a mountain he cannot climb so his job is as good as lost. The Dudleyz absolutely destroy Morley, using the ring steps to smash him in the face and after a Dudley Dog and a 3D, Spike pins Chief Morley to officially banish him to the unemployment line along with Bischoff. They aren’t done and give the crowd what they’ve been chanting for, finishing by powerbombing him through a table. 

Out in the parking lot, the now unemployed Eric Bischoff asks JR one final time if he’s heard from Stone Cold yet which he hasn’t. He actually offers JR a handshake and asks to be his friend. JR isn’t keen, obviously. 

Eric’s bad night continues as while he is clearing out his office the three Dudley brothers drop in to see him and taunt him some more about being fired. This is about the 5th time someone has sung that damn goodbye song on this show! 

In the main event segment, Vince McMahon announces who the new General Manager is and on his way to the ring, tells Evolution to hang around because they’ll want to hear it. He also makes next week’s main event - Booker T and Scott Steiner vs. Triple H and Batista. 

Vince is ramping up to reveal the new GM - he implied a few weeks ago that it would be his son Shane - and says it's someone the crowd will like. He asks the new GM to come out and when JR comes out, the crowd cheers. It’s NOT JR, and right behind him is Eric Bischoff. Off mic, Jim Ross tells Vince that he can guarantee Stone Cold Steve Austin will be at No Way Out. The fans were chanting for Austin but boo that announcement because they wanted to see him tonight. Vince tells Ross that he has his job back and to go and join King. Where does that leave Eric Bischoff? Vince McMahon is a man of his word and names Eric Bischoff the new General Manager of Raw, which likely means that Chief Morley has his job back too. Vince asks Eric how serious he was when he said he’d do anything to keep his job? Vince has an idea. He wants Bischoff to join the Kiss my Ass club. King and JR have a good laugh both at Vince McMahon with his ass out on national television, but mostly at Eric Bischoff having to kiss Vince’s ass! Eric backs down - he refuses to do it, he can’t kiss McMahon’s ass. If he won’t do that then he’ll join the “I got my ass kicked club” instead or he’s fired. Eric assumes that means that Vince is going to beat him up but he has something else in mind - at No Way Out, Eric Bischoff will be in a match with Stone Cold Steve Austin! I bet Bischoff wishes he’d just kissed his ass now. 

Jeff Hardy Finds his Way

Test with Stacy Keibler in his corner faces Christian . Its confirmed that at No Way Out, Chris Jericho faces Test after all of the unpleasantness and Stacy’s concussion. That match ends up not taking place, but we’ll get to that as we go along. Test has no issues throwing Christian around and beats him with a Full Nelson slam. Sore loser Christian hits a celebrating Test down low and drills his face into the mat with an Unprettier and then threatens to beat up Stacy Keiber too! Jeff Hardy runs down which is a shock to everyone and attacks Christian, rescuing poor Stacy so she can go back to checking on Test.

Back in the Bischoff office, Chris Jericho goes to see the GM and Chief Morley. They’re a little bit distracted by the impending arrival of Vince McMahon and them likely being fired tonight so aren’t receptive to Jericho’s whining about having to face Test at No Way Out. Chief Morley gives him a match against Jeff Hardy tonight which he’s happy about.

Backstage, Jeff Hardy runs into Shawn Michaels and doesn’t say anything, just giving HBK a nod of respect. It looks like his advice from last week has sunk in after all. 

Backstage, Stacy Keibler tells Test that she’s struck a marketing deal with a company called GGW. That’s “Girls Gone Wild” for the uninitiated and WWE actually partnered with and made appearances at the GGW PPV in 2003. I doubt it’ll come up much on TV but here’s a link to OSW Review’s coverage of the event if you’re curious and want to learn more (great series and great boys if you want more fun retro wrestling content)

Chris Jericho faces Jeff Hardy who is still trying to find his place in WWE. He’s teased turning heel but after saving Stacy and then that little moment with Shawn Michaels backstage perhaps he’s realising he's better off as a babyface. Half way through this match, Jericho and Jeff are forced to resort to wear down holds as something happened in the crowd which distracted everyone’s attention. Jericho actually went over to see what was going on - I think it was a fight and someone being kicked out of the arena. It was enough to totally kill this match dead. When the crowd does get back into it? They chant “you are gay” at Chris Jericho. Jesus, I wish they’d kept not paying attention. Jeff hits his reverse Twist of Fate and follows with a Swanton but is unlucky as Jericho gets his foot on the ropes to save himself. Hardy comes heart breakingly close to victory but Jericho locks him in the Walls of Jericho for a hard fought submission victory. 

Other Happenings

• This show aired the same day that Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig passed away at the age of 44. I mentioned during his early 2002 run that he struggled with substance abuse issues and they finally caught up with him. 

• Booker T heads down to the ring after a replay of Evolution’s attack on Goldust leading to him being electrocuted. Booker says that his match tonight is dedicated to his best buddy Goldust but his nice speech is interrupted by his opponent, D’Lo Brown. Before the match, Theodore Long speaks to Booker and tells him to stop worrying about “that white boy” Goldust and says that The Man is forcing them to fight each other but they should be teaming up. Booker T rocks D’Lo with a big right hand which I think is a no. Coach lists all the various health problems Goldust is now having because of the electrocution last week. They had a chance to do something interesting and ask a black man, Coach, about this whole D’Lo and Theodore Long storyline but he doesn’t really comment on it. Booker ends D’Lo’s winning streak with a Scissors Kick. He is NOT down with the brown. Booker enjoys a victory Spinarooni which I’m sure was also dedicated to Goldust. This is the last we’ll see of D’Lo - more on that next week.
• Jazz’s first match in 9 months is against Molly Holly, who she beat up last week. King makes a couple of jokes about how ugly Jazz is which I still think is bang out of order. Coach reveals that Trish Stratus was actually quite badly hurt by Jazz’s attack two weeks ago and will be out of action for a while. Much like with Victoria last week with Molly vs. Victoria, both of these women are heels but good wrestlers so really embrace having a few minutes to show off their in-ring skills despite the boring chants from a couple of fans. Jazz locks in the STF and secures a submission victory and then refuses to release the hold, inflicting extra pain to make a point. 

• With Ric Flair in his corner, Batista representing Evolution takes on Tommy Dreamer who they beat the hell out of last week for no reason. Dreamer smartly comes from behind with a kendo stick but his advantage doesn’t last long and he’s spiked with a Batista Bomb and defeated in seconds. Flair is about to lock him in the Figure Four when Booker T runs down to the ring and attacks, looking for revenge on behalf of Goldust. He beats up Flair and Batista initially but Randy Orton is fast on the scene and with three on one odds Booker T is beaten up. Triple H hobbles down to finish things off with big right hands and for the fourth week in a row, these four men now known as Evolution leave a body in their wake. Scott Steiner runs down and Triple H runs away, being injured and Big Poppa Pump has no problem fighting off the other three taking his aggression out particularly on Randy Orton. 

• Kane and Rob Van Dam are back on the same page tonight, teaming against Rosey and Jamal, with Rico. RVD is worked over until he makes the hot tag and things break down with Kane fighting off both big Samoans. Kane boosts RVD off the top into a crossbody and they work fluidly as a team, winning this match with a massive chokeslam on Rosey followed by a Five Star Frog Splash where Van Dam cleared three quarters of the ring to hit it. 

Smackdown - February 13th 2003

No Way Out for Team Angle

In the opening match, Edge takes on one half of the new WWE Tag Team Champions Charlie Haas. Haas looks strong here, controlling the tempo and dominating Edge for much of the match. As Edge mounts his comeback, Heyman jumps up on the apron. He’s given a Spear by Edge for his troubles but the distraction allows Haas to roll up Edge and pick up a big singles win. Not to get into more spoilers but this is the last match Edge has for quite a long time. I’ll talk about that at No Way Out.

Back in the General Manager’s office, WWE Champion Kurt Angle sucks up to Stephanie and compliments her new haircut. He offers her a rose since its the day before Valentines’ day which makes everyone wonder what he’s up to and what he wants. He’s about to kiss her when Brock Lesnar bursts in but the Next Big Thing appears to have learned to control his temper because he doesn’t attack. Stephanie tells them that at No Way Out, Team Angle will face Edge, Chris Benoit and Brock Lesnar in a six man tag team match. Kurt isn’t happy but Brock is and he tells Angle to come to ringside and watch his match with John Cena tonight so he can see what’s in his future first hand. Lesnar leaves and then Kurt takes his rose back.

Chris Benoit faces The A-Train. The big man hammers and beats up Benoit in the corner and throws him around showing a lot of intensity. Benoit preserves and counters a big slam down into a Crippler Crossface, picking up the submission victory. 

Funaki interviews John Cena about his match with Brock Lesnar and puts on a ballcap to try and “be on his level”. That’s why he’s Smackdown’s number one announcer. Cena says he’s going to smoke Lesnar tonight - word life! 

Eddie Guerrero faces one half of the new WWE Tag Team Champions Shelton Benjamin. Shelton has Haas with him initially but he asks his partner to go backstage so he can do this on his own and prove how good he is. That integrity doesn’t last long as when Eddie is in control and setting up the Frog Splash, Haas runs down to ringside so Eddie has to dive out onto him. The distraction allows Shelton to hit the Dragon Whip which is basically a spinning kick to pick up the win. Great night for Team Angle.

Before the main event there’s a tale of the tape for Lesnar and Cena. It’s a bit hilarious really as Cena didn’t have a finishing move yet (what the hell is the Killswitch?) and no accolades to speak of. When Brock Lesnar enters first for the main event he sets up a steel chair at ringside to remind everyone that he invited Kurt Angle to come and watch him in action up close. Cena’s rap on the way to the ring makes fun of Lesnar’s intelligence. “You winning this is as likely as you winning a spelling bee, i’m like a basic math problem Brock - you just can’t finish me”. Awesome. Lesnar is full of rage and attacks Cena with fury and makes him pay for the insults, throwing him around and out of the ring. Cena distracts the referee by removing the turnbuckle cover and while he’s trying to fix it, Cena punches Lesnar in the head with a steel chain, knocking him out and giving him control of this match, locking in a long sleeper hold. Lesnar overcomes and actually uses Cena’s own exposed turnbuckle against him, leading to an F5 and a hard fought victory for Lesnar. Cena looked strong here. Brock grabs the mic after the match and says that he is no longer asking Kurt to come out, he is demanding he does. Heyman and Angle are shown watching from backstage as Lesnar sends a message, giving Cena an F5 right into the ring post - the very move which injured Kurt Angle’s knee for weeks.

 It looks like it might have worked because Kurt is furious and says he’s going out there to confront Lesnar and after a commercial break, the WWE Champion does as he said. Lesnar calls Kurt’s bluff - he wants a fight right here, right now. Does Angle have the nerve? Kurt gets in the ring and into Lesnar’s face but stops short of an actual fight - he has a sinus infection! In fairness, Kurt does sound a little stuffy. Kurt says that he’ll face Lesnar in a one on one, fair and square match…next week. The Wrestlemania main event, 6 weeks early. Lesnar accepts and then attacks, launching the WWE Champion across the ring with a belly to belly suplex and then gives him a second one on the outside which I bet hurt like hell. He’s about to give him an F5 into the ringpost and injure his leg again but Haas and Benjamin arrive just in time to rescue their captain. Kurt escapes but Haas and Benjamin pay the price with F5s on the floor outside the ring. Brock isn’t done and pursues Kurt but is satisfied to taunt him with his own WWE title belt for now. 

Who Better than Kanyon? 

Just like last week, there’s a large wooden crate on the entrance ramp addressed to Undertaker from Big Show that will sit there all night until it’s time for it to be delivered.

Much like last week, Paul Heyman heads down to the ring and gets the large crate for the Undertaker. He reminds us that Big Show has sent a singing telegram and a man of the cloth in Brother Love to apologise and preach forgiveness and both were rejected by Undertaker who refuses to accept the apology. The American Badass doesn’t waste any time and comes out to the ring on his motorbike as Heyman quickly leaves the ring with a smirk on his face. The box contains Kanyon who comes out dressed as a lounge singer. I can only assume that this segment went terribly as there’s a million camera cuts and audio edits until Kanyon finally attacks Undertaker from behind. He must have fluffed all of his lines or something but I suspect it was because Kanyon sang a song which had to be edited out for rights issues. Undertaker quickly fights him off and beats the hell out of him, hammering him all around the ring and smashing him with a steel chair, all while Heyman looks on from the ramp horrified. 

Divas Gone Wild

I mentioned on Raw that WWE partnered briefly with Girls Gone Wild and I really didn’t think we’d see much of that reflected on these shows but the organiser of the event Joe Francis appeared here, asking Torrie Wilson to be there. The whole company eventually collapsed due to legal issues and Francis was forced to flee the United States amid allegations including but not limited to rape and sex with underage girls. Jesus Christ. This is the Smackdown episode for problematic men as Hugh Hefner also appears and announces that a WWE Diva will soon appear nude in Playboy. 

Torrie Wilson faces Dawn Marie in a special Valentines Day bra and panties match, which is very different from a normal bra and panties match. Despite these two having been relentlessly involved in a major storyline for the past four months there is zero mention of their history, Al Wilson or even their match at Royal Rumble which Torrie won. Torrie wins this too after stripping Dawn to her underwear. She’s attacked from behind by Nidia but she fights her off and strips Nidia to her underwear too. Torrie Wilson, very much the Brock Lesnar of the women’s division in 2003.

Other Happenings

• It seemed likely for a while and obviously I knew it was coming but tonight, Michael Cole and Tazz confirm that Nathan Jones will be exclusive to Smackdown and will have an exclusive interview next week.
• Rikishi faces Nunzio in a rematch from last week. Of course Nunzio made some ominous threats about “the people he’s with” and sure enough Johnny The Bull Stamboli and Chuck Palumbo attack the big man. The three of them assault Rikishi as Nunzio tells him not to mess with him and his family. This is the birth of WWE’s version of the Full Blooded Italians, a stable which also featured Nunzio but with very different members in ECW. Nunzio kisses Rikishi and then slaps him in the face. The kiss gets the most boos of anything from the homophobic 2003 fans. 

• The odyssey of Brian Kendrick continues as he will do anything it takes to make an impact in WWE. He goes to confront Sean O’Haire about his advice to streak last week and says he got in a lot of trouble for it! Bill Demot shows up and after acting friendly, beats up poor Kendrick until O’Haire stops him. “He’s had enough, but I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know”. Ok that's interesting, quite a babyface move? I’m determined to figure out what exactly the plan was with O’Haire and where it went wrong. 

• Matt Hardy (wearing a bin bag under his t-shirt) takes on Rey Mysterio. Matt is announced as being 230lbs but then he corrects the ring announcer and he is now only 222lbs. He needs to get under 220lbs and assuming he achieves it in time, Stephane McMahon has given him a shot at the Cruiserweight title and Billy Kidman at No Way Out. The story of this match is that Matt Hardy is off balance and weak because of his intense diet and training regime to lose the weight and so Rey defeats him with a 619 and West Coast Pop. Post match, Matt makes his excuses and tells Cole and Tazz that he will lose the other 2lbs and be at full strength in time for No Way Out.

Raw - February 17th 2003

Bischoff’s Revenge

Backstage, Eric Bischoff comes across Shawn Michaels and his apparent new protege Jeff Hardy who laugh at him having to face Stone Cold Steve Austin on Sunday. He says that he’s about to address the entire Raw roster and so it might be them that needs luck soon enough. Easy E heads down to the ring and it’s so nice to have the commentators openly talking about Stone Cold again - It's hardly a secret that he’s my favourite wrestler of all time. Bischoff says he has some unfinished business with someone who he knows the people are desperate to see and he is right here tonight. The crowd cheers assuming he means Stone Cold but Bischoff calls out Chief Morley who’s sporting a big black eye from his three on one handicap match with The Dudleyz last week. Bischoff officially reinstates his Chief of Staff. The two of them are drowned out by loud asshole chants. Eric then turns his attention to all the Raw superstars who were so happy to see him get fired last week and starts with Shawn Michaels and Jeff Hardy, booking them in a no disqualification tag team match against Christian and Chris Jericho tonight. Next it’s The Dudley Boyz - he had Bubba Ray and D-Von suspended and kicked out of the building earlier, and he books Spike in a 3 on 1 handicap match against 3 Minute Warning tonight.

Bischoff then brags about being an 8th degree blackbelt and a master of martial arts - that is somewhat true, though I’m not sure if he’s exaggerating his credentials - and books himself in his debut WWE match tonight on Raw against Stone Cold Steve Austin’s best friend, Jim Ross! King tries to amp up his commentary partner and says that he can kick his ass tonight! It works and as the show proceeds, JR goes from being nervous to promising that he’s going to “fight that son of a bitch” and punch him right in the mouth. Good stuff.

Backstage, Chris Jericho and Christian discuss their confidence for this tag team match with Jericho mocking HBK’s big mouth getting him in trouble. These two are really funny together with their lame white guy high fives and being each other’s biggest fans.

There’s been multiple mentions tonight of the big snowstorm in the area which stopped many fans from being able to get to the arena and one of the side effects of the travel issues are that Shawn Michaels arrived very late and his bags got lost in transit meaning that here he’s wrestling in jeans and a t-shirt. This match being no disqualification means that Jericho and Christian are free to handcuff HBK to the bottom rope, outside the ring and hammer Jeff Hardy two on one.

He does eventually manage to get his hands on the key and free himself able to join the match and beat up Christian. He and Jeff work really well as a team and with Jeff and Christian down on the outside, Jericho charges HBK with a steel chair which is driven back into his face with Sweet Chin Music. Jeff Hardy follows up with a Swanton Bomb and Jeff pins Chris Jericho to win this match for his team. Good stuff, and hopefully that big pin fall victory will get Jeff’s head straight and get him back on track. JR and King do a good job of really hammering home that Shawn Michaels’ advice and mentorship is doing Jeff the world of good. Backstage after the match, Jericho throws a major tantrum about losing to Jeff Hardy who hasn’t won a match in four months but has the nerve to celebrate beating him.

Spike Dudley shows no fear when he enters for his three on one match - he doesn’t look happy, but he doesn’t look afraid. He jumps into Rosey’s face with punches the moment 3 Minute Warning enter the ring but is immediately overwhelmed and beaten up for what felt like a really, really long time. The fans chant “Rico’s gay” until eventually they slam and pin Spike. I don’t really see the point in letting this last as long as it did - we got the message in the first 10 seconds. 

Backstage, Chief Morley holds a punching bag with JR’s photo on it while doing a terrible impression of JR as Bischoff shows off his martial arts skills with punches and high kicks.

In the main event of the show, JR has no choice but to head down to the ring for a fight with Eric Bischoff. He’s replaced by Coach again and JR has to compete in the same clothes he’s been wearing all night while Eric is in his karate gear including his much touted black belt. Chief Morley has a bunch of props so that the general manager can give everyone a demonstration of how tough and skilled he is - breaking boards and even a watermelon with martial arts kicks and punches.

Even more impressively he does it all while holding a microphone and commentating on his own skills. Bischoff is finally interrupted by JR who is clearly sick of watching Bischoff show off and wants to get this fight over with. Eric makes both this match and his one with Austin at No Way Out No Holds Barred and when the bell finally rings, JR rocks Bischoff with a punch! Chief Morley attacks JR from behind and wails on him with punches. They’ve provided no explanation for why Jerry Lawler hasn’t run down there to help out his friend. Morley places a stone block against JR’s head and Bischoff kicks right through it, smashing it to powder on Ross’s head! It looked very impressive but I’m sure was perfectly safe. That’s finally too much for Lawler and he runs to the ring and rocks the Chief with punches but a kick to the gut from Bischoff distracts him enough for the Chief of Staff to get back on the attack. The crowd chants for Austin but the Rattlesnake isn’t here and Eric puts down the bleeding Jim Ross with one final punch to “win” this “match”. No doubt Eric will have hell to pay at No Way Out when Stone Cold Steve Austin returns - a sentence which gave me goosebumps to write. Raw ends with Eric celebrating with beers as the final insult to Stone Cold. 

Booker T on a Roll

Backstage Terri - who is dressing a lot more like a grown up these days in professional, covered up business attire - interviews Booker T about what happened to Goldust two weeks ago at the hands of Evolution. Booker says that he’s been visiting Goldust and his friend is all messed up with some kind of neurological problem after being electrocuted. Terri asks Booker how he feels about Evolution joking and laughing at Goldust and he fires up and promises to kick their punk asses tonight in the main event. They could have done something interesting here given that Terri is Goldust’s ex wife and mother of his children in real life, and originally joined the WWE as his valet, but there’s no mention made of it. 

In the Evolution locker room, Ric Flair, Triple H, Batista and Randy Orton all make fun of Goldust and crack jokes about him getting electrocuted. Triple H says that he and Batista are going to put Booker T in a hospital bed right next to Goldust tonight. 

Terri interviews Big Poppa Pump Scott Steiner. He says that Triple H thinks he's the best but he’s not - Steiner is the best. I won’t be nasty and point out how silly of a statement that is. This Sunday there will be “no way out” and the Big Bad Booty Thriller will become the new World Heavyweight Champion. How many nicknames does Steiner need? Booker T shows up and says that tonight it's payback time and they need to kick Triple H and Batista’s asses. That match is up next. Batista and Triple H still have separate entrances with Flair and Orton at ringside to support them - it was a while before they got their awesome group theme song. Triple H and Booker T kick things off for their teams. Steiner looks good here in short bursts, chopping and throwing Triple H around the ring and chasing Ric Flair for trying to interfere. Booker T shines in this match but when it breaks down, Scott Steiner fights off interference from Randy Orton and Flair single handedly. He drops Triple H with a suplex and then Booker T follows up with a Scissors Kick. Booker T pins Triple H to win this match! That was a shocker, and Booker T pinning the World Heavyweight Champion is rightly treated like a big deal! 

Other Happenings

• Raw opens with a singles match between Rob Van Dam (backed up by Kane) and World Tag Team Champion Lance Storm (backed up by William Regal) and the news that these two teams will meet for the Tag team titles at No Way Out. Given that RVD and Kane are undefeated as a team, it’s fair enough that they’d get a title shot but there’s no explanation given for why Bischoff and Morley would put their buddies Storm and Regal in that position. I assume Vince McMahon made the match. This is a decent back and forth which RVD wins with the Five Star Frog Splash. 
• Backstage, Steven Richards tries his best to encourage Victoria to approach Jazz about being friends rather than being at odds. Jazz isn’t interested in being a team - she is back for two reasons and that was to take out Trish Stratus and to regain the WWE Women’s Championship. That leads into a tag team match of Jacqueline and the now apparently babyface Molly Holly against Jazz and Victoria. Last night on Sunday Night Heat, Jackie almost beat Victoria who was only saved by interference from Steven Richards. I like that Richards is wearing matching gear with Victoria - it's still unique enough now even in 2025 to see a male and female double act where the man is the secondary member. Jazz shoves Victoria out of the way so she can start the match for her team. Jazz picks up the win for her team in a dominant performance, pinning Jackie with a DDT. She continues to beat up Jackie after the match while Molly is too hurt to get involved. Jazz proudly declares that “the bitch is back!” and shoves Victoria out of the way to leave. The women’s champion doesn’t back down and slaps Jazz in the face who just smiles and leaves, unbothered by Victoria’s aggression. Jazz is hard as nails and not afraid of anyone!

• I mentioned last week that Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig had passed away and this week there was a lovely video package of all of his greatest moments in the WWE, mostly from the early 90s when he was one of the company’s top stars. A nice tribute.
• Last week, D’Lo Brown lost to Booker T and while it wasn’t on the show, Theodore Long was unhappy enough with Brown that he ditched him as a client. JR and King talk about footage of D’Lo being dumped but the footage is missing from my version of the show and I’ve no idea why. Theodore Long has a new client - Rodney Mack. This is the man who was on Smackdown twice as John Cena’s henchman Red Do. Theodore Long has a new catchphrase - he’s no longer down with the Brown, he tells us all to Back the Mack. He says that his new client will do what D’Lo couldn’t and stick it to the man and beat up white boys. His opponent is Al Snow who Mack easily defeats with an ugly double underhook powerbomb where Al landed dangerously on the back of his head. In real life, Rodney Mack is the husband of Jazz and the two of them are still active in wrestling today, mostly as a couple. 

• The Hurricane takes on Christopher Nowinski. This is an even back and forth match with multiple near falls and the crowd gets behind the superhero who wins with the Eye of the Hurricane! Little did anyone know that Hurricane is about to have the best month of his career.

Smackdown - February 20th 2003

Hollywood vs. Hollywood

Smackdown wastes no time and before the Smackdown intro or Michael Cole and Tazz can say hello, The Rock’s music hits and the People’s Champion makes his way down to the ring with a slow, cocky swagger. He doesn’t have his usual energy and looks a little put out by the crowd’s mixed reaction to him. After milking the reaction a little he launches into his “Finally…” catchphrase but stops when the crowd boos. He tries again and gets even more boos. Michael Cole summed up this character change best “The Rock used to earn the People’s love and respect but now he is DEMANDING it”. The Rock heels out on the town - everywhere is beneath the Hollywood icon these days it seems - and stops in his tracks when the crowd chant Hogan at him. He addresses the boos and in the middle of explaining how committed to the people and to this company he is, he stops to take a cellphone call from his personal assistant saying he’ll be flying out tonight as soon as he can because he doesn’t want to be surrounded by all these hicks. Funny stuff, being so blatantly and openly disingenuous and then acting shocked and offended when he’s booed for it. He straight up asks the people if they REALLY want to boo The Rock and to understand the line they’re about to cross. At No Way Out they’re going to get a different Rock - the people want to boo him and call him a sell out with a big head then he’s going to show up and whoop Hogan’s ass and make him his bitch. A definitive line has been drawn in the sand. He ends by denying the crowd joining in his final “If Ya Smell”. If you boo him then you don’t get to play sing along with the champ. This isn’t the last we’ve seen of Rock tonight and he has promised to confront Hogan face to face when he arrives.

Hulk Hogan arrives at the arena later so will need to be filled in on everything The Rock said at the start of the show. Smackdown’s number one announcer Funaki goes to try and get an interview with The Rock but is stopped at the door by his personal security. The Rock is too good to mix with the rest of the locker room these days.

Hulk Hogan goes to see The Rock but is also stopped by his personal security so he says that if Rocky won’t listen to him here he’ll just have to go out to the ring and say it there. 

After the commercial break, Hulk Hogan air guitars to the ring and, as is standard, milks the crowd reaction for every second of cheering he can get. He’s about to speak but The Rock wastes no time and his music hits, walking briskly to the ring and taking Hogan’s spotlight. They get face to face and both look very serious. There is layers to this - Hogan wants his win back from Mania X8 and doesn’t like The Rock’s new attitude or the fact that he’s blocking him from getting to Vince McMahon and The Rock is so full of himself now he cannot believe people would cheer Hogan over him, and might still be bitter that they did it at Wrestlemania last year too. The Rock looks thrown off his game by being in the ring getting such clear boos now that Hogan is here in person to make it worse. The Rock clears his throat and asks for some water before he speaks before talking about an apology being due - some nasty things were said and so Hogan needs to just hurry up and apologise. The Rock walks circles around Hulk Hogan not letting him speak, demanding an apology and taking full credit for the resurgence in Hulkamania. He says Hogan was worthless until The Rock challenged him last year and made him popular again so now he needs to apologise and say thank you. Hogan tells The Rock to go to hell and says that the Hulkamaniacs are responsible for his comeback, not The Rock. Hogan starts to fire up so The Rock backs down and says he was just playing and working everyone up, he apologises and offers Hogan a handshake and says they will electrify this Sunday like only they can. Hogan seems to believe him until Rock spits water in the Hulkster’s face and bails out. How disrespectful! This was good stuff by The Rock and his new heel persona is tons of fun. You’ll see some good clips from this segment during the No Way Out video package. 

Lesnar vs. Angle? 

In a rematch from last week, Chris Benoit faces A-Train. The match is shorter but the finish is almost exactly the same, Benoit countering A-Train’s finisher into a Crossface. A-Train powers out of that but Benoit follows up with a quick roll up for the pinfall victory. This was just a little showcase victory for Benoit ahead of his part in the six man tag at No Way Out. 

In the Team Angle locker room, Haas and Benjamin help Kurt warm up for his non-title match with Brock Lesnar tonight. If you think it’s weird that they’d give us the first ever Angle vs. Lesnar match on a random Smackdown six weeks before Wrestlemania then you’re right, and there must be a big twist coming right? Kurt promises that he’s going to break Lesnar’s freakin’ ankle tonight. Here comes the pain, Brock.

Before the main event, there’s a video package for Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar tonight and a brief promo by John Cena. His leg is all braced up and he raps about how he’s now at war at Brock Lesnar and is going to make him pay for what he did to him. Kurt enters with his full entourage and breaks the news to Brock that there is a stipulation tonight - to wrestle Kurt Angle, he has to beat Shelton Benajmin first. But to get a match with Shelton Benjamin, he has to beat Charlie Haas first - Brock has to run the gauntlet against all three members of Team Angle. Kurt throws around Haas with suplexes and has no real issues dominating one half of the Tag Team Champions, finishing him with an F5. Brock vs. Shelton is a very interesting match on its own as it’s been acknowledged plenty on TV that these two were roommates in college and were on the same amateur wrestling team - they’ve known each other for years. Shelton puts up a lot more of a fight than Haas did and works on his left arm and shoulder. Brock sends a message, defeating Shelton using Kurt’s own move, the Angle slam.

That means Kurt now has to fight Brock Lesnar but the WWE Champion backs up the ramp, not wanting to get in the ring. Paul Heyman motivates his client and tells him how much better he is than Lesnar as Brock gets ready in the ring, daring Kurt to come and fight him. The bell rings and this match is official but Heyman hits Brock in the back with a steel chair! It doesn’t phase him but it’s enough to end this match via disqualification and Brock locks in a tight hold, choking out Lesnar. He throws the champion off and prepares to deliver an F5 to Paul Heyman! Kurt recovers and puts down Lesnar with a chop block as Haas and Benjamin recover and Team Angle swarms and beats up the Next Big Thing. Kurt locks his Wrestlemania challenger in the ankle lock just like he promised he would while Heyman and Team Angle taunt him. He’s stopped short of actually breaking Brock’s ankle by Edge and Benoit who rush down and chase them off. 

Other Happenings

• The Big Show continues his apologies to Undertaker, trying to get him to back down now that they officially have a match scheduled for No Way Out and there are in fact two big gift wrapped crates addressed to him tonight. They sat on the ramp for the whole show getting funny looks from whoever walked past them during their entrance.
• Rikishi goes one on one with Johnny The Bull Stamboli, backed up by Nunzio and Chuck Palumbo. I called this group the Full Blooded Italians last week but they don’t officially have that name yet. Palumbo and Nunzio are both ejected from ringside leaving Johnny one on one with Rikishi. He shows some amazing strength, gorilla pressing the 350lbs Rikishi over his head! Rikishi wins with a superkick because he continues to be the most inexplicably protected man on the roster since X-Pac and is then attacked by Palumbo and Nunzio after the match with the three of them beating him down again.

• There’s a fun little video package about Eddie and Chavo Guerrero in Beverly Hills which is the true birth of Los Guerreros’ Lie, Cheat and Steal gimmick. If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying. Funny stuff.

• This week’s Matt Fact is that Matt is miserable when dieting, and that Matt finds Shannon very hard to teach. Earlier tonight, Matt had a weigh in and he is currently 221.5lbs. He needs to get himself under 220lbs to qualify for the Cruiserweight Championship match at No Way Out so he strips off all his clothes and just barely gets under 220lbs. That means he’s lost 10lbs in 2 weeks which probably isn’t healthy but that forms part of this storyline - he lost to Rey Mysterio last week because he was feeling unwell and weak. A top rope hurricanrana by Mysterio leaves Matt easy pickings for a Shooting Star press but Shannon makes the save and with a Twist of Fate, Matt Hardy pins Kidman just three days before their Cruiserweight title match. 
• Earlier today, Michael Cole sat down for an interview with Smackdown’s newcomer Nathan Jones. The big selling points are that he is MASSIVE, Australian and he served 10 years in prison for armed robbery. The colossus of Boggo Road is what he was named by the local media because of his size. He cuts a weird, panicky whispered promo about how he has unfinished business with “the biggest dog in the yard” which obviously means the Undertaker. He has an odd energy.

• Paul Heyman has the crane move both huge gift wrapped crates down to the ring for the Undertaker. So far the gifts have been Brian Kendrick as a singing telegram, Brother Love preaching love and forgiveness and Kanyon who attacked Undertaker and was savagely beaten with a steel chair in return. All Big Show and Heyman have done is make him far, far angrier than he was when he returned five weeks ago. Heyman isn’t there in person this week and without speaking, Undertaker opens the first crate - it contains a cute dog! That gets an aww from the crowd and he quickly hands the dog to a camera man at ringside. The other crate is much bigger and so Undertaker assumes Big Show is inside and attacks. The crate is empty but he was right to be concerned as Big Show comes from under the ring and attacks from behind. It was a setup, just not the one Undertaker expected. Big Show beats up Undertaker, throwing him into the boxes and then finishing with a big chokeslam. Big Show gets some much needed momentum before No Way Out. During the commercial break, Big Show hustles backstage and quickly gets into a limo and leaves the arena not wanting to hang around.

• Torrie Wilson faces Nidia (with Jamie Noble) in a paddle on a pole match. Nidia attacked Torrie last week for no reason, but alone with Dawn Marie there are only three women on Smackdown so she needs something to do. Noble trips Torrie from the outside and Nidia gets the win, and then he’s happy to hold Torrie in place so that Nidia can spank her with the paddle. Funaki runs down and rescues Torrie, beating up Noble and chasing off Nidia. He has no pre-existing relationship with Torrie and I’m sure did this because he’s a nice guy and it was the right thing to do and not because he wants to get in her pants - Funaki is a good guy.

No Way Out might be the most loaded B PPV of all time. Five weeks before Wrestlemania we’ve got a Wrestlemania main event in Hogan/Rock II, and the return of Stone Cold Steve Austin. There’s been a significant card change with Jeff Hardy replacing Test in a match with Chris Jericho and an even bigger one in Smackdown’s six man tag team match but I’ll talk about that at the PPV itself. Here’s the card