Raw - December 16th 2002

Scheduling Conflict

Backstage, General Manager Eric Bischoff is excited about tonight. With Triple H as the new World Heavyweight Champion, he’s making this Triple H Appreciation Night and in the main event spot we’ll have a parade with red carpet and video tributes - the works. That’s a problem because Chief Morley has offered the main event slot to Scott Steiner who’s signing his official Raw contract tonight! Neither one of them is going to be happy to step aside for the other. 

Eric Bischoff drops in to see the new World Champion Triple H and after sucking up to him a little tries to get him to move his ceremony from the main event spot to earlier in the show. Triple H does a little digging and finds out that he wants to put Scott Steiner in the main event slot. Triple H calls Steiner a jacked up piece of trash who can’t hold his jock strap and says that if he does take him out of the main event he will “pull a Stone Cold Steve Austin” on him and walk out and take the title with him. Bischoff backs down and says he’ll figure something out. They’ve mentioned Austin a few times lately with all the Raw 10th anniversary celebrations talk too. He was officially still under contract and they were working to get the Rattlesnake to come back.

Ric Flair goes to see Scott Steiner and rants at him that Triple H is the champion and HE deserves the main event. He tells Big Poppa Pump to step aside. Steiner grabs Flair and slams him against the wall, telling him that now he’s on Raw, HE is the main event.

Backstage as Scott Steiner heads to the ring, Chief Morley stops him and tries one last time to convince him to let Triple H have his moment in the main event. He hands him the Raw contract to sign with no ceremony in a hallway in the back. Steiner agrees to let Triple H have his moment, but then when Morley leaves all pleased with himself for saving the show, Steiner promises The Game a moment that he’ll never forget. 

After a commercial break, Eric Bischoff and Chief Morley are in the ring and give a big warm welcome to someone who has “done more for this business than anyone else in history”, Triple H. Ok then. The new World Heavyweight Champion and his manager/lackey/friend Ric Flair head down to the ring to bask in his glory. Triple H is dressed like Ric Flair and even carries the Championship belt the way Flair used to, all folded up like a plaque. He brags about everyone he’s beaten and after a music video of him demolishing people over the past four years, lists everyone he’s defeated from recent ones like Shawn Michaels to people in his past like Stone Cold and The Rock. His self congratulations is interrupted by Big Poppa Pump, Scott Steiner. We all saw this coming.

Steiner wastes no time and hands his unsigned contract to Eric Bischoff. He says that the contract needs to include a World title match or he’s walking out. Triple H asks him who the hell he thinks he is? He says that WWE is not WCW and here you have to EARN a shot at the title. Eric is stuck between a rock and a hard place - Steiner says he won’t sign for Raw unless he gets a title match, and Triple H tells him he can’t have one. Steiner accuses Triple H of being scared of the Generic Freak. He tells him he’s a Game with no balls. Triple H laughs it off and tells Bischoff that if that’s how Steiner feels, he can have his title match. Eric smiles and they’re all happy with this deal. Triple H gives Freakzilla a final warning about biting off more than he can chew. Steiner signs the contract and Eric Bischoff announces that Triple H will defend the World Heavyweight Championship against Scott Steiner at the Royal Rumble! Steiner starts barking a load of nonsense at Triple H about how big his arms are and says he wants his title match tonight, NOT at the Royal Rumble and says he can bitch slap The Game right now and there’s nothing he can do about it. He dares Triple H to throw the first punch and the Champion removes his jacket and gets in Steiner’s face but then backs up, smiling. Steiner simply steps forward and stays in his face, stalking him around the ring and daring him to attack him. The champion thinks better of it and backs down, getting out of the ring. That match at the Royal Rumble is pretty legendary but for all the wrong reasons - we’ll talk about it when we get to it but for now, Scott Steiner has an impressive amount of aura and the fans behind him. 

Chris Jericho’s Busy Night

Backstage, Goldie-Clause has a special Christmas gift for his partner Booker T - he pulls the World Tag Team titles out of his sack. Goldust thanks Booker for believing in him. Their good times are interrupted by Christian who says that next week in their official rematch, he and Jericho will regain the titles. He adds that tonight Jericho will beat Booker and Christian will beat Goldust. Goldie-Claus has a special gift for Christian too. It’s a large tub of new and improved Ass Cream. Christian protests that Jericho uses it, not him. Then he keeps the tub anyway.

Shawn Michaels heads down to the ring. Despite the brutal main event 24 hours ago at Armageddon, he seems in a good mood and dances down to the ring. He says that last week Ric Flair told him that his best days were behind him and that he needs to step aside and pass the torch. Michaels says that the truth is that the Heartbreak Kid is alive and well. He might have lost the World Heavyweight Championship but he did absolutely steal the show. Burning 2x4s wrapped in barbed wire. Jumping off a steel cage. Crashing from the top of the ladder through four tables. He went down but he went down in a blaze of glory! He’s not wrong. He says that since he and Triple H did 2 out of 3 last night, tonight they can do 3 out of 5 and he wants The Game to come out and fight him right now. It’s not Triple H who comes out, it’s Chris Jericho. Jericho calls Michaels a hasbeen and brags that HBK is jealous of him because he’s better, more charismatic and far more sexy than him! Jericho then turns serious and says that no one was more excited to see HBK return to the ring than him. He put on an awesome performance for everyone but as good as it was, it was also sad. The old HBK would have defied the odds and won but he didn’t. He lost. Jericho says he’s sad that his childhood hero is now a loser. He sounds really sincere as he says that Michaels is a shell of his former self and he could kick his ass right now if he wanted to, then getting angry and saying that maybe he should. Jericho laughs it off and says that he’s not worth it, and then without replying, Michaels drops Jericho with a Sweet Chin Music! 

One half of the new World Tag Team Champions Goldust faces Christian. Goldust’s “weak link” storyline seems to thankfully have been dropped after one week and now that he’s won the titles he’s found his confidence. Christian reverses a victory roll into one of his own, grabbing the ropes to steal the victory.

Chris Jericho enters first for his match with Booker T and asks the crowd if they thought it was funny when Shawn Michaels kicked him in the face earlier. They cheer. It’s funny because as he rants, JR and King talk over him and throw to a commercial break with JR promising that he’ll still be talking when the show returns. He was right. This is a good match and as Booker controls the match, Christian runs down to help out his partner. Goldust follows and the match is thrown out as a no contest when Booker and Goldust clear Jericho and Christian out of the ring.

Other Happenings

• Raw opens with a mixed tag team match. Test (with Stacy Keibler and the support of all the Testicles) teams with Trish Stratus, confirming that Test is supposed to be a babyface now. Their opponents are Women’s Champion Victoria and Steven Richards. I mentioned it at Armageddon but Victoria now has Tatu’s “All the things she said” as her theme song, but it's annoyingly dubbed off of these shows. Par for the course, sadly. The women’s division on Raw has gotten really good lately, mostly thanks to Victoria, but it lacks the depth, especially with both Jazz and Lita out injured, and so we still get a LOT of rematches. Richards has no problem beating up Trish when they’re both legal but with a distraction from Stacy Keibler, Test puts him down with a Big Boot and wins it for his team. 

• A battle of the Tough Enough finalists with Maven vs. Christopher Nowinski. I’ve been pretty open about how much I love Nowinski lately and that won’t be changing here. He’s awesome and gets loud Harvard Sucks chants. Nowinski wins a short match where both guys got to show off what they can do without an experienced veteran in the ring to hold their hand. Nowinski grabbed the tights on a roll up to steal the win.
• Backstage in a pair of segments, Ric Flair tells Rosey and Jamal that Batista is the team captain in their 3 on 2 handicap match tonight and they need to fall in line and listen to the big man. Elsewhere, Coach interviews their opponents - Kane and Rob Van Dam. Kane is all amped up and wants to rant about winning this all by himself if he has to, but RVD keeps taking the mic and speaking on Kane’s behalf. What he means is that he’ll win tonight with the help of his new trusty tag team partner Rob Van Dam. He tells Kane to relax and “release his inner Kane”. Funny stuff.

• That handicap match is next. 3-Minute Warning don’t have Rico with them this week, but Batista does have Ric Flair in his corner which is a good distraction for Kane who is more focused on getting his hands on the Nature Boy at the start of the match. Batista doesn’t really get involved and on the advice of Ric Flair, he hops off the apron and leaves to avoid fighting Kane. Rosey and Jamal are easily finished off and with a big chokeslam on Rosey, Kane and RVD pick up the win. 
• Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley face Lance Storm and William Regal. The Dudleys have the match won with a 3D on Lance Storm but Regal is there with his brass knuckles to knock out D-Von and give himself and Storm another victory. Not including the fatal four way at Armageddon, this team is undefeated and this is their 8th victory in a row. 
• Jeff Hardy faces D’Lo Brown in a rematch from Sunday Night Heat. Jeff won that match and he wins this one too, but D’Lo had his foot on the ropes! The referee didn’t see it. Poor D’Lo. After the commercial break, the referee goes to find D’Lo and apologises for him. He calls it an honest mistake. D’Lo says that an honest mistake cost him the match on Heat too and these apologies don’t take the L off his record or put the dollars back in his pocket. He says that the referee screwed him over because he’s a white boy, and D’Lo is a black man. Controversial.

• Leaving the arena, Stacy Keibler tells Test that she’s signed him a deal to star in a new commercial for some body spray. Nearby, Raven is listening in and watches them leave all sinister. Raven was banned from Raw back in July but he’s been on Sunday Night Heat and worked as a commentator and wrestler. 

Smackdown - December 19th 2002

Championship Alliance

Smackdown opens with a recap of Kurt Angle’s big WWE title win at Armageddon and in the arena, the new WWE Champion heads down to the ring. Kurt looks great with this version of the title belt, and seems to have parlayed the fans' support of him lately into an official babyface turn. The fans still WHAT him as he speaks but he laughs it off and they cheer at the end of his sentence. He says he might not have been able to beat Big Show on his own so he needs to thank one particular person. Brock Lesnar’s music hits and the Next Big Thing comes down. A smiling Kurt thanks Brock in person and then says he knows he doesn’t want a thank you, he wants a WWE Championship match. The fans cheer for the idea of the first ever Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar match, and Kurt says that as a man of his word, he will give Lesnar the first shot at his title anytime, any place. Brock wants his title match right here tonight on Smackdown! Angle says that sounds incredible…but it’s not going to happen. He’s a little banged up, but he does already have a non-title match with Chris Benoit scheduled for tonight. He promises Brock that he WILL get the first shot at the WWE Championship…next week. The fans in Tampa Florida boo that because they wanted the match tonight. Lesnar looks annoyed, but accepts the logic and agrees. Eventually - Lesnar doesn’t seem like he totally trusts Kurt but does finally shake his hand. 

After a commercial break, Big Show is shown throwing a major temper tantrum in his locker room as Paul Heyman cowers in the corner. He tells Heyman that he needs to make it right and get him HIS title rematch. Show must have hurt himself as he threw the temper tantrum as there’s some blood on his hand. Heyman promises Show that he WILL get the first shot at Kurt Angle. He ALWAYS has a plan and going into Armageddon he had the best one he’s ever come up with. What does he mean by that? It can’t have been that good a plan if his client lost the title.

Matt Hardy - Version 1.0 - goes to see Stephanie McMahon. He blames his black eye on being swarmed by a group of overly dedicated MFers (That’s Mattitude Followers) and she checks he’s still ok to face Brock Lesnar tonight. Matt isn’t concerned and says even one with eye he’s better than Brock Lesnar.

Backstage, Kurt Angle says that he’s excited to face Brock Lesnar next week to Stephanie McMahon. She calls Kurt full of crap and demands that he goes to the ring and sets the record straight now, or she’ll tell everyone. He plays dumb but when she threatens to do it, he stops her and says that he’ll admit it. What does she know?

After a commercial break, Kurt is in the ring. He reminds us of his three Is - Integrity being the most important one. He says that if it was up to him he’d beat Chris Benoit and Brock Lesnar on the same night but it’s not up to him. He has a lot on his plate and so he sought out some help. The week before Armageddon he hired a management team to be in charge of his contract negotiations. He brings out the head of his management team - Paul Heyman! So at Armageddon, Heyman was managing Big Show and also, secretly, Kurt Angle! Heyman comes down with a big smile and embraces the new WWE Champion with glee. He recaps all of their master plan and how it unfolded - interestingly unlike his other clients, he gives Kurt credit for being as smart as he is. He assures Brock Lesnar that his match next week for the title is cancelled and he will not get a title match, ever. They hug and Heyman’s other client - Big Show - comes down to the ring to demand answers! He tells Show that he is still his favourite client. He says he ditched Brock Lesnar but he’s not ditching Big Show. Heyman says that next week Big Show can have his rematch with Kurt Angle! Kurt doesn’t look happy about that but Paul talks them around and says that with both of them as his clients then THEY run Smackdown and as long as one of them is champion, they as a unit have all the power. It doesn’t matter which of them is the champion as long as it’s NOT Brock Lesnar. They all shake hands and Big Show hugs Paul Heyman. There’s some weird editing as I’m not sure what Paul Heyman said on the show but the end of his promo was dubbed in the edit.

This week’s Matt fact is that Matt has wrestled in 44 states. Brock Lesnar vs. Matt Hardy should be a one-sided squash match. Matt enters selling and holding the black eye that Stephanie mentioned earlier but with him he has his number one MFer Shannon Moore with him. Matt tells us that he got something in his one good eye so now he has found a suitable replacement for Lesnar. That seems to be a surprise to Shannon too, and he’s thrown into the ring. Lesnar has no problem throwing Moore around and launches him over the top rope with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Matt helpfully throws his Mattitude Follower back into the ring where he gets one of the most impactful F5s in history, spinning and flying across the ring. Lesnar wins, obviously. Lesnar leaves but when he sees Matt Hardy in the ring telling Shannon off for losing, he goes back and drills him with an F5 too. 

When the champion enters for the main event, with Paul Heyman now proudly in tow, Michael Cole and Tazz are very harsh about the Olympian talking about how much he lied and how much respect they’ve lost for him. He really did use and totally outsmart Brock Lesnar. Benoit vs. Angle is always so crisp and polished in the ring. You don’t need me to describe the action in this one and I’ll get the chance to talk a lot about them at the Royal Rumble (spoilers). Heyman actually hits Benoit with the WWE title belt behind the referee’s back to give his new client the advantage. Benoit kicks out. After a back and forth, Benoit hammers Kurt with a string of German suplexes and then a diving headbutt off the top rope. He locks Kurt in the Crossface but we’ll never know if he’d have tapped as Big Show runs down and causes a disqualification. Brock Lesnar is next and throws Kurt and Big Show out of the way, setting up an F5 on Heyman! Kurt saves his agent with a choplock and after an Angle Slam and a massive chokeslam, the Heyman family stand strong and together over Brock Lesnar. What’s kind of funny is that at the end of Smackdown I noticed that the title belt still has Big Show’s name on it. 

More Room 357 Talk

They hyped it up throughout the first hour of the show and then, as promised by Michael Cole, we’re shown “what really happened in room 357?”. What’s interesting is that they planned on showing this last week but the network UPN stepped in and wouldn’t allow it, which is why it was moved to Armageddon. They’ve managed to get permission this week and after the same video package shown at Armageddon

Torrie Wilson joins us via satellite from her hometown in Boise Idaho. It’s very clearly a room that was set up backstage at the arena and so to explain why a 20 something year old fitness model would be in this room which looks like an old ladies’ house, they tell us this is her mother’s house. She says that she isn’t embarrassed and is proud that she’d do anything she could to save her father. She says she’s not a sexual predator, but Dawn is going to find out what kind of predator she is. In the arena, Dawn and Al head down to the ring as Michael Cole and Tazz call Al Wilson a “selfish old bastard”. Dawn calls Torrie a jealous nymphomaniac. She tells the world that her relationship with Al Wilson is truly sacred. Jesus this segment just never ends. Al looks deeply uncomfortable as Dawn paws at him and talks about their sex life. That makes way more sense now that I’ve confirmed this actually was Torrie’s real life dad. After what feels like an endless build up, Dawn invites us all to her and Al Wilson’s wedding live on Smackdown in two weeks. Torrie is done with her dad and storms off. Ok so they DIDN’T show the footage from room 357. I guess technically there was a little footage in the video package.

Other Happenings

• Eddie Guerrero accompanied by his WWE Tag Team Championship partner Chavo Guerrero takes on Cruiserweight Champion Billy Kidman in a non-title match. Before the match, Chavo had some comments for Kidman saying that he cheated to beat him which is why he’ll be at ringside to make sure he doesn’t cheat against his uncle Eddie. Eddie was one of WCW’s cruiserweight division’s highlights in his heyday but he’s put on so much muscle since then there’s no way he still qualifies as one. Kidman actually has this won with a Shooting Star Press but Chavo breaks the pin. His distraction allows Eddie to hit a real night sit down powerbomb and that’s enough for the victory. 
• John Cena faces Chuck Palumbo. His pre-match rap is classic 2002 homophobia, calling the local sports team queer. Cena rolls through a crossbody and grabs the tights to steal the win. Sore loser Palumbo attacks Cena after the match so Bling Bling Bucanan punches Chuck in the head with a chain wrapped around his fist. Rikishi runs down and attacks both men looking for revenge from last week. Cena avoids a chairshot and then as Rikishi is about to drop all his weight on him with a Rump Shaker, B2 pulls him to safety and Cena and Buchanan escape together.

• Jamie Noble and his cousin Nunzio take on Crash and Bill Demot. Before the match, Demot tells Crash that he knows how tough his family is and so he wants to be his partner. It’s an odd pivot as his gimmick so far has been a heel who bullies babyfaces. He’s changed theme songs too and is no longer using Marc Mero’s hand-me-down. This is Nunzio’s TV debut, and Demot insists on starting the match for his team. He throws Noble and Nunzio around without ever tagging out. Being on the losing side of a squash seems like a really odd way to debut Nunzio. He keeps Noble’s losing streak going, pinning him with a moonsault without ever tagging Crash in and then after the match ,he beats up Crash too, flattening him with a second moonsault. Not bad presentation for Demot but it’s a shame this push wasn’t given to someone with a bit more skill.

• Ernest “The Cat” Miller interviews Edge. He’s all fired up and says that at Armageddon he was out for revenge for Rey Mysterio but tonight’s ass kicking is for himself. 
• A-Train vs. Edge ended by disqualification at the PPV so a rematch makes sense to me even if I’m not particularly interested. Edge is still heavily selling the knee that A-Train attacked with a steel chair. Edge wins with a Spear.
• John Matthews bravely tries to get an interview with Brock Lesnar to see what his reaction to the double cross by Kurt Angle is, and to Kurt lying to him. Lesnar is surprisingly calm and tells Josh that it’s a good question and leaves it unsaid for now.

Raw - December 23rd 2002

Unwelcome Commentary

They show footage of earlier tonight, before the show started, where Jim Ross entered in his hometown of Oklahoma and was played to the ring by the university band. He uses the Sooners’ fight song as his theme song and always has so I’m sure this was meaningful to him. Later, there’s another video of Jerry Lawler in his own hometown doing a book signing for his new autobiography. Both commentators have had a very special week it seems.

Back in General Manager Bischoff’s office, he and Chief Morley discuss how likely it is that Triple H and Scott Steiner will come to blows this week and Spike Dudley bursts into the room and throws a lamp at the wall, yelling at his two bosses for allowing William Regal to knock out D-Von with the brass knuckles last week. Bischoff doesn’t like his tone so books him in a match with Batista later and says that if either of his brothers gets involved then all three Dudleyz will be suspended.

Eric Bischoff and Chief Morley come out onto the stage and make some announcements, specifically explaining how this year’s Royal Rumble match will work - 15 superstars from both Raw and Smackdown and the winner will face their brand’s champion at Wrestlemania. He then notices King and JR chatting away about his announcement and heads over to see them, looking angry. It seems that the General Manager didn’t appreciate the little videos earlier and the attention they were both getting and so showed a classic “best of Raw” moment which was Jim Ross being forced to kiss Vince McMahon’s ass. That clip was missing from this version of the show but Bischoff shows some hidden camera footage of both King and JR chatting about how much it sucked of Bischoff to show that tonight in JR’s hometown. Bischoff threatens to fire them both and replace them with Tony Schiavonee and Jesse Ventura (haha, imagine). Instead, he books them in a tag team match but doesn’t specify who their opponents will be. JR and King are shocked but they either compete in the match or they’re fired.

Later, Chief Morley suggests that he and Eric themselves are the opponents but are interrupted by Lance Storm and William Regal who suck up to Bischoff and volunteer, as an undefeated tag team, to be their opponents instead. Regal calls King a “disgusting pervert and royal imposter” which popped me. Bischoff agrees and tells them to use whatever means necessary including his brass knuckles.

Batista, with Nature Boy Ric Flair, faces poor little 150lbs Spike Dudley later in the show. Batista effortlessly kills Spike and finishes him with a brutal sit down powerbomb. 

Back in the arena, King tells JR to go and get ready for their match and prepare as best he can. That leaves us with only Jerry Lawler on commentary for the big in-ring Triple H and Scott Steiner segment.

In one of the most unusual main events in Raw history, Eric Bischoff and Chief Morely take over the commentary duties and Lance Storm and William Regal take on Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler. Bischoff hilariously calls the match straight initially, suggesting that JR can convert some of his impressive wrestling knowledge into an impressive performance in the ring. Both King and JR get their own entrances with hometown boy Ross getting a big positive reaction. Bischoff and Morley have good fun making fun of both Lawler and JR’s bodies. Them being nasty about the Oklahoma fight song would be more impactful if the fans in the arena could hear them - no one outside of the state cares, Eric. Bischoff has good fun on commentary, calling the moves and action like this is a real match and offering some insight. I think that makes it funnier, but honestly for all the grief people gave his commentary he’s not bad.

Lawler starts the match and JR gets his first bit of action by hanging Storm up on the ropes! Ultimately this is a two on one match and Regal and Storm have no problem beating up Lawler but I was very distracted by a dark, wet spot on Jerry Lawler’s undercarriage every time he’s on the mat. It makes him look like he’s pooped himself. King is booked super strong for some reason and has no problem beating up both men and even has the match won with a diving fist drop until Lance Storm breaks up the pin. The referee gets knocked down by an errant Lance Storm heel kick which allows Regal to use a low blow. JR sees a chance and with Regal’s brass knuckles down in the ring, he tags himself in and tries to use them. It backfires as Storm is there and the two former Un-Americans beat down JR two on one. All hope is lost until Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley rush the ring and flatten Storm with a 3D! Regal turns into a brass knuckle loaded punch from JR and he gets the cover and the victory! With some help from The Dudley Boyz and a pair of brass knuckles, Jim Ross has pinned William Regal and ended he and Lance Storm’s winning streak! This was all good fun and the only damage done to anyone’s reputation was in how easily Jerry Lawler beat up Storm and Regal before the interference. A happy ending for Raw and I don’t want to get too spoilery about what’s to come in the next couple of Previews but this is the start of an “Eric Bischoff power trip” storyline that led to the return of the Texas Rattlesnake, Stone Cold Steve Austin. 

Arm Wrestling Challenge

Backstage, Coach is waiting outside Triple H’s locker room to get comments on him being “punked out” by Scott Steiner last week. When the interview takes place after the next match, Triple H takes serious issue with the phrase “punked out” and angrily says that he did not back down and he is not afraid of Scott Steiner. He says that later tonight he will go to the ring and call out Scott Steiner and we’ll all see who’s afraid. Later, Coach interviews Steiner too and he says he is exactly who he says he is and he’ll give Triple H a reason to be afraid of him. 

Ric Flair goes to talk to Triple H and tells him that Scott Steiner is a wild animal. He needs to save Steiner for the Royal Rumble and just go out with him to enjoy the right. Triple H isn’t listening and he’s going out to call Steiner out right now. He heads down to the ring and claiming that Steiner only called him out last week because he knew how banged up the Champion was after Armageddon, and says Steiner is not in his league. He calls him out and doesn’t have to ask twice as Big Poppa Pump heads down to the ring. Triple H backs up but says that he is NOT backing down. He claims that their match at the Royal Rumble will make them both a LOT of money and so he refuses to give up even one dollar of that so he will not fight him until the Royal Rumble. He’s rambling on a little so Scott snatches the mic from his hands and says that the people didn’t come to see Triple H talk, they came to see Steiner kick his ass. He wants to fight Triple H tonight. The Game tries to take the mic back but is unable to pull it out of Steiner’s hand so gives up and gets his own. That was a nice spot.

Triple H challenges Scott Steiner to an arm-wrestling match, which gets boos from the crowd. Triple H clearly had this set up ahead of time and has some poorly dressed stage hands run down to the ring with steel chairs and a table. Triple H insults the size of Scott Steiner’s arms and says freakzilla is built for show, but he’s built for go. Steiner obviously accepts and Triple H takes his time setting up. He puts in a huge amount of effort and it looks like an even match until Steiner smiles and very easily defeats the World Champion. Triple H is really good here and makes it look like he’s putting his entire body weight into the match, pushing and pushing but still being defeated. He immediately demands a rematch so Steiner quickly slams his arm down three times and embarrassed the World Heavyweight Champion who, just like last week, backs down and doesn’t want to fight Big Poppa Pump. Say what you want about his skills but they are knocking it out of the park with this presentation of Steiner so far.

World Tag Team Action

Backstage as both teams prepare for their World Tag Team Championship match, Chris Jericho tries to get in Goldust’s head and calls him the weak link. Booker T is the one who won the tag team titles, and last week Goldust lost to Christian. He calls him a failure as a man, as a husband and as a father. Poor Goldust.

That match is next and win, lose or draw this is the final match between these two teams in a feud which has now lasted for the better part of 4 months. That’s not official or mentioned on the show, that’s just me telling all of you that. Last week, Jericho insulted Shawn Michaels and called him the Hasbeen Kid and was dropped by a Sweet Chin Music for his troubles. We’re reminded of it before the match but will that come into play tonight? This is a good, long match especially for a Raw match. Booker T gets a hot tag and scores with a Scissors Kick, getting a three count on Jericho but his foot was on the ropes so the referee restarts the match and the challengers isolate and work over Booker T in their corner. Goldust eventually gets the hot tag and the pace picks back up, scoring with a double DDT and a Shattered Dreams on Christian. After a flurry of offence and very, very near falls Goldust gets his knees up on the Lionsault and follows with a roll up, grabbing Jericho’s tights to get the three count and retain the World Tag Team titles.

Other Happenings

• The final Raw of 2002 (next week’s is a “Best of 2002” show so I won’t be covering it) opens with Rob Van Dam and Kane teaming up again to take on 3-Minute Warning. Rosey and Jamal do have Rico with them this week. This Raw is pre-taped - fair enough given how close it is to Christmas - so the fans are hot for this match but it's hard to know how legit that is. I will say it’s not the same annoying, high pitched and obviously fake crowd squeal that’s used 50 times per show for Smackdown during this era. Kane and RVD once again make a seamless tag team and a chokeslam and Five Star Frog Splash combo on Jamal gives them a victory for the second week in a row. It looks like they might be arguing after the match but it’s hard to tell about what - I think RVD was just hammering home to Kane what a great tag team they make, like trying to convince him that it should be a regular thing? After they leave, Rico berates the two huge Samoans for losing another match and slaps Jamal and Rosey in their faces! They then start fighting with each other and Rico has to separate them, demanding they listen to him. The three calm down and leave together which gets loud boos from the crowd who wanted to see them fight.

• Earlier today, D’Lo Brown dressed as a stereotypical black man, talking jive - something he’s never done before - approached Stacy Keibler and asked her to help him out as a marketing consultant like she has for Test and pitched his new catchphrase “down with the Brown”. She says she has her hands full with Testicles and he hits on her, which has led to a match between her client and boyfriend Test and D’Lo. Brown is wearing the same non-wrestling gear - lots of denim. D’Lo’s new gimmick is “embracing his blackness” and he believes his recent losses were due to the referees being racist. Believe it or not, this storyline was NOT written by Vince Russo. D’Lo gets a cover with his feet on the ropes and the referee catches him trying to cheat and stops it. Brown is furious and shoves the referee hard, getting himself disqualified and then throws Test out of the ring, preparing to attack poor Stacy. Thankfully Test is back on his feet in time to save his girlfriend and D’Lo runs off through the crowd. Random historical trivia - Test and D’Lo Brown once challenged for the Tag Team Championships at Wrestlemania 15. Weird. 

• Back in the women’s locker room, the babyface team of Trish Stratus, Stacy Kiebler and Jacqueline stretch and warm up for their six woman tag in revealing little Santa outfits. On the other side of the ring, Victoria and Ivory’s outfits are just as revealing but Molly Holly’s is a lot longer and she’s a lot more covered up, as you’d expect given her gimmick. I am surprised that the show spent the time giving all six of these women individual entrances and despite the whole “Santa’s little helper” gimmick, it feels like this is a good chance to show off the depth of the women’s division in 2002. Victoria is easily my favourite woman on the roster at this point. Her dangerous psycho gimmick has only gotten better. Stacy pulls Molly’s dress off which is enough to take her out of the match and Trish finishes off Ivory with a Chick Kick and Stratusfaction to pick up the win for her team.

• Backstage, Kane is just about to leave the arena but Rob Van Dam stops him to tell him how much he likes teaming with him and asks about his Christmas plans. There’s some good laughs as RVD talks about his fun family Christmases and Kane says that he spent his childhood locked in a basement. RVD has a gift for Kane - it’s Hungry Hungry Hippos! He doesn’t like Christmas and he doesn’t like games. Kane should let down his walls and let RVD be his friend!

• Earlier today at a local mall, Santa Claus is nasty to the kids calling them greedy and revealing that Santa isn’t real. When one of the parents tells him off he unmasks to reveal that it’s actually Sean O’Haire who strips off so we can all see how ripped his body is and tells them that the truth hurts. Ok then.

• As odd as this seems with him having not been on TV at all for the past couple of years, that isn’t the last we see of D’Lo Brown tonight. Later in the show, he comes back down to the ring and calls the referee’s decision “bullshit” and demands a rematch with Test with the winner getting Stacy Keibler. Test does come out and apparently accepts that challenge. The commentary is all weird and quiet here. I’m not sure if something has been edited out or if it's because they were getting ready to go and have their own match. Stacy has changed back into the same clothes she was wearing earlier too, which makes me think that this is a quirk of editing and what I’m really watching is management telling these two men to go back to the ring and restart this match in order to film a new ending. That would make sense with the odd commentary at the start and there being no mention whatsoever of the fact that they’ve already wrestled tonight. D’Lo chases Stacy around the ring saying that he needs her. It backfires and he walks right into a Test Big Boot and for the second time tonight, Test defeats D’Lo Brown.
• Christopher Nowinski takes on The Hurricane. The Harvard graduate attacks the superhero the moment he reaches the ring but when Maven comes out onto the stage and distracts Nowinski, Hurricane picks up the win with a roll up. 

Smackdown - December 26th 2002

Team Angle is Born

After a recap of last week’s shenanigans with Paul Heyman manoeuvring himself into position as the agent of both the WWE Champion and the number one contender at the same time Michael Cole and Tazz explain that tonight’s planned WWE title match between Kurt Angle and Big Show isn’t happening.

General Manager Stephanie McMahon comes down to the ring and confirms exactly that. She says the match is cancelled because of Brock Lesnar and says that because of Brock, Kurt Angle might not be able to compete until the Royal Rumble. She isn’t going to tell us what happened after Smackdown went off the air last week, she’ll show us footage of it later tonight. Big Show then comes out to confront her, presumably upset that he isn’t getting his WWE title match tonight. He says that he is sure that her giving him another WWE title match as soon as possible is her first priority.

She threatens to suspend him if he doesn’t back off, screaming in the big man’s face. He does back up. She says that Paul Heyman might have given him a title match but Paul Heyman isn’t the General Manager, she is. Tonight there will be a number one contender’s match to see who’ll face Kurt Angle at the Royal Rumble - Big Show vs. Chris Benoit. Show fires up and says that Benoit can’t hold a candle to him and he’ll crush him like a bug. Benoit himself then comes out to respond to that in person. He mentions Big Show chokeslamming him last week and says the only reason he isn’t breaking his neck right now is because of the match later. Last week he made Kurt Angle tap out and this week he’ll make Big Show tap out. Big Show says that he’s a giant and that the only way Benoit can beat him is if he makes him his size. Benoit kicks Show low, doubling him over in pain and Benoit has a good laugh at the now furious and in pain Big Show.

Matt Hardy and his number one MFer, Shannon Moore head down to the ring. Two Matt facts this week - Matt was the MVP of the ‘99 No Mercy Ladder match (not true, obviously. Jeff was) and Matt always sticks to his New Year’s Resolutions. He cuts a promo about the source of all of Smackdown’s problems - Brock Lesnar. He shows footage to make his point, which is Brock destroying both he and Shannon last week. Moore is still limping and selling his hip from that beating. Matt challenges Brock Lesnar to a match next week and promises to show Lesnar how powerful Mattitude is. He then attacks poor Shannon to prove his point, kicking him in the hip and clubbing him with his microphone. Referees are there to stop as Moore looks up at his mentor asking “why?” but Matt looks supremely focused. 

Backstage, WWE Champion Kurt Angle arrives at the arena on crutches alongside his agent Paul Heyman who tells Kurt that he is a real American hero and an inspiration to him. They’ve been hyping up this footage of Brock’s attack on Kurt last week all night long. 

The footage from last week is finally shown later in the episode. Smackdown ended with Heyman, Big Show and Kurt Angle standing tall over Brock Lesnar. The cameras continued rolling and after the show ended, Lesnar was able to get back to his feet and he attacked like a wild animal. An overconfident Kurt dismissed Big Show saying he didn’t need his help and continued beating on Lesnar while Heyman screamed how much he hates Brock Lesnar over and over and over. Lesnar fired up and beat up Big Show and then turned his attack to Kurt Angle. It’s weird seeing all of this with no commentary but it's also quite cool. Lesnar got his hands on a steel chair and after taking out Big Show, cracked Kurt in the head with the chair and then delivered an F5 on the outside, launching Kurt’s knee into the ring post! That looked cool, but Brock wasn’t done. He also picked Kurt up and drove him knee-first onto the top of the security wall. So Brock Lesnar has badly injured the WWE Champion’s knee, but Kurt had been wearing a brace on that knee for a couple of weeks anyway.

The reality is that Kurt needed some time off to heal up his leg and this is the storyline explanation. He will be back in action for the Royal Rumble, but Kurt Angle’s rapidly deteriorating health is something I’ll discuss a lot over the next couple of months.

In the ring, Paul Heyman blames Kurt Angle’s injuries on General Manager Stephanie McMahon for forcing Kurt to publicly reveal his relationship with Heyman, making Brock Lesnar snap. The WWE Champion then hobbles down to the ring on crutches, a full length brace and cast on his right leg to stop him from bending his knee. Kind of random, but that Submit t-shirt that Kurt Angle is wearing? I had that one. It says “The Truth Won’t Set You Free” on the back. Kurt is fired up and he asks Heyman how he ever worked with an animal like Brock Lesnar? He says that Brock didn’t attack and injure him because of Paul Heyman, he attacked him because he’s jealous. He says that he will defend and retain the WWE title at Royal Rumble but it’ll never be against him. Paul Heyman then says he has a contingency plan - Team Angle! He introduces two young athletes dressed a little like Kurt Angle. Heyman says that the WWE Champion is now captain of his own team - Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. I will get a chance to talk more about these two athletes in future, but the important points are that Charlie Haas has an amazing amateur career behind him, and Shelton Benjamin doesn’t just have the same pedigree but he was actually Brock Lesnar’s roommate at college. Kurt looks very impressed and pleased with this and shakes both their hands. Team Angle is born! 

Chris Benoit is interviewed before the main event and talks about how much the WWE Championship means to him. He has fought, scratched and sacrificed for that title and he believes in his heart that he is better than Kurt Angle. He promises to beat Big Show tonight and then Kurt Angle at the Royal Rumble. He isn’t arrogant - he’s certain. Elsewhere backstage, Kurt Angle motivates his buddy and stable-mate Big Show and tells him that NO ONE deserves a title shot more than him. He’d be honoured to face him at the Royal Rumble and he knows he can destroy Benoit tonight.

In the main event, this number one contender’s match has a couple of stories heading into it. You can really see Paul Heyman’s influence in creative at this point as everything is starting to weave together. Big Show, Kurt Angle and Paul Heyman have this knotted relationship now and Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle’s recent history through their Tag Team Championship reign and unlikely partnership needs no more discussion. Big Show dominates Benoit, throwing him around and almost caving in his chest with chops. Benoit goes after Show’s leg and hits a diving headbutt (it was more of a splash) and runs Show’s head into an exposed turnbuckle bolt. He counters a chokeslam attempt into a messy roll up and that’s enough to get the victory. Big Show isn’t happy and a sore loser to tries to give Show a chokeslam but that’s countered into a Crossface and Benoit makes Big Show tap out. He’s then attacked by the two newcomers - Team Angle rush the ring and use a pair of awesome looking double teams to put down the new number one contender to their captain’s WWE Championship. Big Show finishes the assault with a giant chokeslam as Haas, Benjamin and Heyman watch. They drag Benoit up the ramp so that the team captain can berate him and tell him how weak and pathetic he is. The fans spent most of this beat down chanting “we want Brock”. 

WWE Tag Team Titles under threat

Los Guerreros defend the WWE Tag Team Championships against Edge and Cruiserweight Champion Billy Kidman. The fans are really hot for Edge, and I do always find it quite amusing how high pitched and girly the screams for him are - women LOVED Edge. It’s the same reaction that Jeff Hardy always gets. This is an entertaining match and there’s a cool spot when the pace picks up when Edge hits a missile dropkick which hits BOTH Guerreros. Eddie tries to focus on Edge’s injured leg, still sore from his run-ins with A-Train but Edge scores with a Spear. Chavo breaks up the pin and then Chavo grabs the tag title belts, Los Guerreros opting to take a walk and get themselves counted out. The referee is having none of that and declares that if they don’t return to the ring they’ll lose the Tag Team titles. Seems unfair the referee can just change the rules like that mid-match.

The match continued and this ended up being really good - all four guys are very good wrestlers so that’s not a surprise. Eddie misses a Frog Splash on Kidman and he gets on a roll, scoring with the Shooting Star Press on Chavo. It’s over, but Eddie pulls the referee out of the ring to break the count. The referee once again changes the rules, declaring that he can tell the Guerreros are trying to get disqualified on purpose in order to keep their titles so he’s restarting the match again, this time as a no disqualification match! They did a version of this on Raw a couple of weeks ago with Chief Morley restarting a World Tag Team title match twice as well. Different, but the same. Chavo tries to use one of the tag belts but is unarmed and Edge uses it instead. Chavo kicks out to stay alive in this awesome match. With this now being a no disqualification match, A-Train is free to come down and lay out Edge with a backbreaker on the outside and with a three on two advantage, Eddie scores with his Frog Splash on Kidman to retain the WWE Tag Team titles. Great stuff. 

Backstage, the WWE Tag Team Champions Eddie and Chavo run into John Cena and B2 and mock John for being a pretend rapper. Chavo says they earn things, unlike Cena and Bull who have been “handed things” but I don’t know what he means - no one is lower on the totem pole at the end of 2002 than these two. Eddie and Chavo get some laughs putting on some nasally “white guy” voices to mock Cena, who in reality is from a fairly affluent neighborhood in suburban Massachusetts. 

Other Happenings

• Bill Demot who has his third new theme song in three weeks takes on Crash, who he double crossed and beat up last week when they were partners. Demot quickly squashes Crash and finishes him with a moonsault.
• One week before their wedding and right after Christmas, Al Wilson and Dawn Marie exchange gifts. His is a bottle of viagra which he calls a present for both of them, and hers is a video camera so they can film all of their adventures. So both sex presents. Dawn’s a good sport as she passionately makes out with the man three times her age. However much she was being paid, it wasn’t enough. I suspect Al was happy to do all of this for free.

• Handling the ring announcer duties for this Smackdown is Justin Roberts. I mentioned previously when he made his on screen debut but he’s not been on TV much since. It feels noteworthy given how long he stuck around WWE and how active he still is in wrestling with AEW in 2025. 
• B2, or B Squared, or Bling Bling Bucanan depending on who you ask, is in action. Before the match, John Cena “the Jedi master of Thuganomics” delivers a rap about how great B2 is. Bull’s contribution is to shout “Booyah!” at the end. His opponent is Rikishi. Cena joins commentary and speaks almost exclusively in rap and rhyme which is quite funny. The master of Thaganomics distracts the referee so B2 can use the steel chain as a weapon but he misses and a superkick and Rump Shaker give Rikishi the victory. 
• Smackdown’s Number One Announcer interviews Torrie Wilson about her father’s wedding next week. Last week she said she was done, so his question is whether she’ll be at the wedding or not. She says that she won’t and talks about how disappointed she is in her father. Al Wilson shows up himself and calls her selfish. He says he is going to marry Dawn next week and they’ll live happily ever after. He says he hopes the child he has with Dawn won’t grow up to be a disappointment, like Torrie. That’s brutal, but Torrie looks more like she’s trying not to laugh than upset.

Raw - December 30th 2002 was a Best of WWE 2002 show, so I'll skip that