Raw is War - January 1st, 2001

Mini-Tournament and Stephanie crosses the Rattlesnake

Raw opens with a video package highlighting Smackdown. The important points are that Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley is running the show and throwing her weight around and demands respect, and that Stone Cold Steve Austin insists on getting a title shot and humiliated Steph when she refused. In the main event she orchestrated Rikishi, Kane and William Regal beating The Rock and The Undertaker senselessly. In the arena, Stone Cold arrives and Earl Hebner (eugh) greets him to let him know that Stephanie wants to see him. He says it better be about a title shot because he is itching to whoop somebody’s ass tonight. 

Raw opens with the first of two matches with WWF title ramifications. The Undertaker faces Rikishi and later, Kane faces The Rock. The two winners will then compete on Smackdown with the winner of that match challenging Kurt Angle next week on Raw. The Undertaker rides his bike back up the ramp and tries to run over Rikishi and starts the fight at the top of the stage - almost throwing Rikishi off it - before going down to the ring to start properly. The Undertaker wins a physical fight with a running DDT (because Rikishi is too big to Last Ride). He advances to the number one contender’s match on Smackdown.

Stone Cold goes to see Stephanie and wants his title shot. She instead says that since he’s under WWF contract he’ll do whatever she says and she puts him to work selling beer as a concessions vendor. She says he better sell every single drop of beer or he’ll never get his title shot. There are a lot of cans of beer stacked up and the concessions worker hands over his hat and wishes the Rattlesnake luck. Austin kicks the guy’s ass for it. The fans chant “we want beer” in the background. 

Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley checks in on Stone Cold and taunts him about his job as a concession worker tonight. He squeezes his mustard dispenser too hard and it blasts Steph. Elsewhere, Austin drinks more beer than he tries to sell while the fans chant “we want beer”. 

Stone Cold Steve Austin heads down the ring holding a single can of beer and an empty concessions crate. He has apparently sold all of his beer but more likely drank it all himself. Austin isn’t asking Stephanie to come out - he’s demanding she does and if she doesn’t he’ll go and drag her out. He didn’t respect her dad and he’s certainly not going to respect her especially given how much he hates her husband. She comes to the ring wearing a scowl (and a new top after Austin sprayed mustard all over the last one. Stephanie shows no fear of Austin, apparently believing she’s safe as a woman. She chastises the Rattlesnake for not selling any beer or hot dogs. Austin points out the fans are chanting “slut” at her. Austin says he’s not a liar and sold every drop before showing Bradshaw, Faarooq and Jacqueline on the titantron who bought every last drop from him. Austin puts the concession stand over her neck and as she whines he bellows “shut up!” over her. She refuses to be intimidated, but she agrees to put him in the mix tonight. He can face William Regal tonight and if he wins then he’ll be added to the number one contendership match on Smackdown. She continues to taunt him and says she’ll make him scrub toilets next. Austin pulls the concession crate away from her which rips her top off in the process.

The Rattlesnake has humiliated Steph again but he gets his chance at the title. 

William Regal goes to see Lieutenant Commissioner Debra and lets her know that his match with Stone Cold Steve Austin tonight will feature a mystery special guest referee.

The Rock faces Kane, for a chance at becoming number one contender. Kane enters first and The Rock sprints to the ring to start this match. The match is physical as Kane dominates The Rock who is selling his ribs. Kurt Angle comes down to get a closer look at two of his potential challengers. The Rock gets out of the ring and drops the WWF Champion with a Rock Bottom on the floor. The Rock lays out Kane with a spinebuster and tries a People’s Elbow but Kane is right back up and catches Rock by the throat. Rocky stops the chokeslam and they fight to the outside and back in but Kurt Angle clubs The Rock in the back of the head with the WWF title belt which leads to a chokeslam and a victory for Kane! Kane advances to Smackdown. 

In the main event, European Champion William Regal faces Stone Cold Steve Austin with the winner facing The Undertaker and Kane in a triple threat match on Smackdown for the number one contendership. Regal enters first and introduces the mystery special referee he promised - Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. William Regal has had such a massive push lately working exclusively with main eventers like Austin, Rock and Kurt Angle and being positioned as in the McMahon-Helmsley camp. He’s looked strong in all his matches with them too.

Austin beats Regal up in and out of the ring as Stephanie admonishes him but to be fair, sticking very fairly to the rules. That is until Austin goes for his first pin and Stphanie pretends to have something in her eye and is unable to count. As she sells her eye, Austin puts his boot on her back and shoves her out of the ring which gets a big pop. The distraction did at least let Regal take over and get some offence in. Earl Hebner runs down to take Stephanie’s place as referee but when he turns his back, Regal gets a low blow on Austin and then knocks down Hebner and recovers Stephanie wanting to keep his corrupt referee in place. Austin hits a spine buster but again Stephanie won’t count so the Rattlesnake grabs her by the hair. Regal rolls Austin up and Stephanie counts a lightning fast three count! William Regal wins! Stephanie runs off and smugly announces Regal as the winner and Austin as the loser. She actually misspeaks and calls him Steven Regal which he hasn’t been in about a year. Raw closes with a pissed off Rattlesnake taking out his frustration on Regal with a Stone Cold Stunner. Austin promised Stephanie that if she crossed him he would make her life a living hell and now we’ll find out how honest he was. 

Test’s woes continue

Steph goes to her office and calls Vince to complain about Austin. The scene isn’t mic’d up very well and we can hardly hear what he’s saying. Trish Stratus shows up and Vince pretends to have not spent his Christmas and New Year with her. He tells Stephanie she has to give an Intercontinental title match to Test, presumably because Trish used her womanly ways to get her client a title shot from Vince.

Trish Stratus goes to see Test. She assures him she had nothing to do with Albert turning on him and nothing to do with Vince McMahon. She supports him and is still his manager because he’s the star. She wants to be at ringside when he wins the Intercontinental title tonight. That match is next and Benoit and Test battle it out with Test laying out the Intercontinental champion and setting up his top rope elbow. He gets distracted by the arrival of Albert and jumps at him instead on the outside. Trish shoves Test off the top rope and I guess she was lying and just cost him the Intercontinental title. He tries to chase Trish to the back but he’s stopped by Albert and they fight on the ramp. Albert gets in the ring, and so Benoit locks him in a Crossface? Test gets in the ring and gives Benoit a big boot leaving the former partners to fight until referees split them up. 

DeJa Vu

Jonathan Coachman catches the arrival of WWF Champion Kurt Angle and WWF Tag Team Champions Edge and Christian. Kurt is distressed to learn of the number one contender situation, but Edge gives him a pep talk and reminds him he’s basically a superhero and can beat anyone. That cheers him up but all three of their moods are ruined when they learn they’re facing Chris Jericho and The Dudleyz in a six man table match tonight. This six man combo has battled a lot recently. 

The Dudleyz enter with a table that Bubba has spray painted “Edge, Christian and Kurt” on. Angle taunts Bubba’s sore back after he put him through a table on Smackdown. Edge taunts Jericho for the slap he got from Stephanie also on Smackdown.  The teams work around the tables, moving them and flipping them to save their partners. The Dudleyz win it for their team with a 3D on Edge through a table.

ECW

This isn’t something that happened on Raw but it is something that happened at the time and so I want to include this news from the wrestling world to provide a bit of context. You’ll see ECW mentioned a few times in this Preview and even more going forward as, in January 2001, ECW folded. 

I talked about WCW a lot in 1998 (and I will again soon) but ECW was America’s third biggest promotion during the Attitude era. Founded in 1995, it was at various points home to Steve Austin, Mick Foley, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Eddie Guerrero, Perry Saturn and a whole bunch more. Notably, some of the company’s biggest stars were Tazz and The Dudley Boyz who were all stolen away by Vince McMahon in 1999 just as ECW launched its own weekly TV show on TNN.

In October 2000, the WWF moved to TNN too and subsequently the network had no need for two wrestling promotions and effectively shuttered ECW and let its contract run out. That killed the already struggling company and on December 30th, 2000 ECW presented its final PPV event “Guilty as Charged”. You’ll hear more about ECW in the coming weeks.

Other Happenings

• The APA (with Jacqueline) team with The One Billy Gunn to face the Right to Censor team of Val Venis, Bull Buchanan and The Goodfather. Steven and Ivory are at ringside too. Billy motors through Val Venis and pins him with the One and Only to win the match for his team.
• Raven defends the Hardcore championship against Tazz. Raven puts a noose around Tazz’s neck and fights him through the crowd with trash can lid shots. The fight into the women’s bathroom and through the locker room encountering all three Holly cousins and former champion Steve Blackman all trying to cash in on the 24/7 rule. Raven breaks a 2x4 over Crash Holly’s head and pins him to win the match? I’m not sure how that works but Raven escapes with his title as the other hardcore competitors fight and try to give chase.

• Dean Malenko, Perry Saturn and Terri all join the commentary desk for the next match which is The Hardy Boyz (with Lita) against Kaientai. They show off their Japanese dubbed gimmick where both Taka Michinoku and Funaki talk but it’s someone else’s voice on the speakers. It’s a great gimmick honestly. Lita looks amazing, which isn’t news. I really really hoped Dean’s feud with Lita was over but he continues to creep on her. Dean uses this match to tell us that Matt Hardy clearly has the hots for Lita. I believe by this point they were indeed dating in real life. The Hardyz pin Funaki with a Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb combo. A fight predictably breaks out between The Radicals and The Hardyz. Lita even shoves Terri down during it. 

Smackdown! - January 4th, 2001

Rattlesnake Revenge

Smackdown opens with the highlights of Raw with the important points being Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley screwed over Stone Cold after spending all night trying and failing to humiliate him which leaves us with a triple threat number one contenders match on this show - Undertaker vs. Kane vs. William Regal. Live here tonight, Stone Cold is shown waiting in the parking lot, pacing like a caged animal waiting for the arrival of Stephanie. He promised to make her life a living hell if she screwed him and given the two years of pure hell he’s given her dad and how many times he’s hospitalised her husband Triple H lately it seems like he probably will. No one has even seen Triple H since Armageddon! 

William Regal arrives at the arena in a limo. He’s on the phone and after assuring Stephanie that Stone Cold is nowhere to be seen and hanging up, Austin comically sprints into shot and pounces on the European Champion. He hammers Regal on the hood of the limo and beats the ever loving crap out of him. The Rattlesnake commandeers the limo and with Regal clinging to the hood, reverses out into the parking lot and drives into a pile of garbage sending William flying up and over! That was a cool (but safe) spot. Austin throws more punches and busts Regal open with a large steel pipe until referees manage to separate him. The commentators really hammer home that Austin has gone too far. His obsession with getting a WWF title shot has made the Rattlesnake borderline deranged. 

As Austin continues to pace and wait on Stephanie later, his real life wife Debra goes to tell him that he needs to calm down and if he bloodies and puts Stephanie in an ambulance like he did Regal he’s going to end up in jail. 

A second limo arrives and with Stone Cold still lying in wait, Austin chases Stephanie out into the arena. She runs and scrambles to get away as he follows and bellows insults at her, beating up a security guard who tries to stop him presumably assaulting this woman. Austin is pissed and I find him at his most entertaining when he’s taking that rage out on someone. He corners her at ringside and throws her into the ring. He promised her she’d pay! He gets in her face - he warned her on Raw that he wasn’t going to play her stupid games. He did, to be fair. Before he can go too far, Vince McMahon comes out to his daughter’s rescue. I’m not sure when Vince stops being afraid of Austin but he’s going to pay for it too. VInce asks Austin who he thinks he is and says his obsession with the WWF title has turned him into a raving lunatic. Vince asks if he’d really do bodily harm to “daddy’s little girl” for costing him a title shot? The Rattlesnake seems pretty sure. Vince says he’ll give Stone Cold his chance - he’ll change the record books from Raw, Regal was disqualified and that puts Stone Cold into his spot in the number one contender triple threat match tonight. Vince says that all he wants in return is Austin’s promise not to lay a hand on his daughter.

Austin has to decide between a shot at the title, or revenge on “the witch”. He picks the title shot and promises he won’t lay a finger on Stephanie. But he didn’t say anything about himself and the Rattlesnake drops Vince with a Stunner before continuing to scream abuse in Stephanie’s face. You’d think in the last almost three years Vince would have learned to stop pushing Austin but here we are. 

Backstage as Stephanie tends to her injured dad and they discuss how much they hate Stone Cold, Vince makes himself the referee for tonight’s main event.

Special guest referee Mr. McMahon enters first for the main event. Interestingly when he wasn’t running the company on screen he was exclusively known as Vince McMahon but now that he’s back in charge everyone is calling him Mr. McMahon right down to the name plate and ring announcer. That’s a nice touch actually. Kane is the first of the participants followed by his brother The Undertaker, and finally Stone Cold Steve Austin. It’s amazing in hindsight just how much of Austin’s run as WWF Champion over this ENTIRE era involved The Undertaker. I’ll write about that one day. The match is chaotic with all three pairing up and taking turns with double teams. Kane turns the Undertaker into the referee in the ring knocking both men down. Austin hits a Stunner on Kane and Vince, who was acting as secondary referee on the outside, won’t count. He even stops another referee who runs down from counting.

Vince takes position in the ring as the main referee and the match continues. Undertaker drills both Stone Cold and Kane with chokeslams but as he sets up a Last Ride on Austin, Rikishi comes down to stop him from winning. He gets a chokeslam for his troubles but the distraction saves Austin who hits a Stunner on Undertaker and surprisingly Mr. McMahon counts a perfectly fair three, making Stone Cold the number one contender and giving him a WWF title shot on Raw. 

The Rock hands out an Olympic Ass Kicking

Kevin Kelly interviews The Rock. He has challenged Kurt Angle to a non-title match tonight. He promises to make Kurt pay for costing him a chance to become number one contender on Raw, and says that there’s more than one way to get a title shot before talking about the Royal Rumble match and guarantees he’ll win it. But first, he’s going to give Kurt Angle a merciless ass kicking tonight. 

Before their match, Kurt Angle explains his actions from Raw. He had no intention of costing The Rock his match with Kane on Raw. He came down to scout potential opponents and The Rock started it so he had to retaliate. Kurt then pivots to making fun of San Antonio Texas (the location of Smackdown, obviously) and while they “remember the Alamo” they forget to shower, hold down a job or use a toothbrush. That was pretty funny. He tells The Rock to “just bring it” which gets a big anticipation pop from the crowd. When The Rock does enter, Kurt meets him on the ramp and seems to want this fight as much as he does! The fight is intense and as they brawl to the outside, Rock wants to Rock Bottom Kurt through the announce table. While they fight over that, the table collapses under both of their weight. Angle then gives The Rock an Olympic Slam on the outside of the ring (I’d imagine it was supposed to be through the table but it collapsed early) and almost wins via countout but breaks the count himself when he sees The Rock getting back up. Doesn’t really make sense but I guess Kurt wants to be taken seriously as WWF Champion and win this match definitively. The Rock hits a spinebyster and sets up for a People’s Elbow but stops and gets a steel chair instead wanting to really hurt Angle. He and the referee argue over it and after giving a Rock Bottom to Kurt, gives a Rock Bottom to the referee! The Rock has snapped and doesn’t care about winning and losing - he just wants to make Kurt pay. Another referee comes down and gets a Rock Bottom, followed by a big swinging chair shot to the head of Kurt. The Rock ends the chaos by posing on the top rope with the WWF title belt. It really feels like they’re building to Angle vs. Rock at the Royal Rumble, but Rocky has now declared for the Rumble match itself so Kurt needs a different opponent. This was a good match through - these two have great chemistry.

Tag Team Contenders

The Dudley Boyz face The Goodfather and Bull Buchanan with the winning team getting a shot at the Tag Team titles at the Royal Rumble. Edge and Christian come down before the match and join commentary, with Edge still selling his ribs from being given a 3D through a table on Raw. The RtC team have Steven Richards at ringside with them. Edge and Christian spend the match mocking Bubba Ray and D-Von, Mick Foley (who it still really seems like is going to return at some point - he’s been mentioned a lot) and throwing a bunch of genuinely funny insults at Michael Cole’s hair. Edge and Christian try to help the RtC by tripping Goodfather technically stopping him from running into a 3D but it’s viewed as aggression instead and as they argue with Richards and Goodfather on the outside, The Dudleys hit Bull with a 3D and become the number one contenders. With a four on one advantage, the RtC and Tag Champions beat up the new challengers and leave them laid out in the ring. 

Other Happenings

• In the opening match of the first Smackdown of 2001, Chris Jericho challenges his old rival Chris Benoit for the Intercontinental title. Jericho has actually interacted with The Radicals quite a lot over the last few weeks injuring Eddie Guerrero with an extended Walls of Jericho, and helping out The Hardyz and Lita against Dean Malenko and Perry Saturn so this match isn’t totally out of the blue. Jericho seems to have the short match won as he locks in the Walls of Jericho but Dean, Perry and Terri run down to cause the disqualification and save Benoit’s title. The Hardyz and Lita run down afterwards and save Y2J from getting a worse beating.

• The classic Royal Rumble moment on this show is Jerry Lawler being eliminated by Bret Hart in record time in the 1997 Rumble match.
• Perry Saturn and Terri face Matt Hardy and Lita in an intergender tag team match, with both Jeff Hardy and Dean Malenko at ringside. Dean forces a kiss on Lita (Jesus Christ END this storyline. I’ve never hated anything more. Maybe Jerry Lawler?) and then gives her a DDT behind the referee’s back allowing Terri to pin her and win the match for the Radicals.
• The One Billy Gunn faces Val Venis (with his RtC mates Steven Richards and Ivory). Billy’s still chasing revenge for Chyna as she remains out with a career ending neck injury at Val and Ivory’s hands. In reality I hope she’s had a nice Christmas and New Year off work! Gunn has the match won with a One and Only but Ivory distracts the referee and Richards gives him a superkick to help Val win. He does manage to save himself from a two on one beating after the match though. 

• Vince McMahon sends Stephanie off to get him some painkillers for his neck after the Stunner earlier, and to cut the sleeves off his referee shirt for him. When she returns, she finds Trish Stratus giving Vince a massage and giggling about their holiday plans. Trish says she actually came looking for Stephanie to see if she saw what she did to Test for her. It seems that was her attempt to win over Stephanie. She kicks Trish out of the office, and Vince makes a vague comment about having done Trish a favour. 

• Test faces Albert. This match was set up by Lieutenant Commissioner Debra. I’m curious to see when she just suddenly disappears as I don’t remember her actually sticking around after Mick left. Albert has Trish with him, who says she’s sick of carrying Test’s dead weight. Her favour from Vince was that she and Albert have the night off and Test is facing Rikishi instead. A distraction from Trish and Albert lets Rikishi easily beat Test with by sitting on his chest, and then Rikishi stays to watch as Albert flattens Test with a choke-bomb. Albert asks Rikishi to give his former partner a Banzai drop, which he does.

Raw is War - January 8th, 2001

Austin gets his title shot

Mr. McMahon opens the show in the arena. The way JR and King talk about Stone Cold’s title shot tonight, it feels like tonight is the night where he will regain the WWF Championship. The presentation and build to the match certainly makes it feel that way. Vince tells the fans their new year’s resolution should be to show him some respect. Someone who doesn’t respect authority is The Rock and he shows The Rock beating up two referees on Smackdown. To teach him a lesson, he has to face Kane and Rikishi in a three on two handicap match, with two referees as his partners. He then explains why he was such a fair referee on Smackdown and counted the pin for Stone Cold - it’s because his new year’s resolution is to be tough but fair. He’s going to be fair going forward. He’s a new man. He wants to send the message that if two men like Austin and McMahon can get along, why can’t everyone else? He wants world peace! As he talks about the importance of good leadership, Stone Cold Steve Austin comes down to the ring. He says he doesn’t believe a word Vince says and he definitely doesn’t trust him. He calls Vince a jackass and his pledge to be a new man “bullshit”. His pledge to Vince is that he’s going to beat Kurt Angle tonight and become WWF Champion. That brings out Kurt Angle himself. Kurt says that in Austin’s first year he was having strap matches with Savio Vega, but in his first year he was WWF Champion. He won the six man Hell in a Cell at Armageddon, he won a Fatal Four way with Austin, Rock and Undertaker at Madison Square Garden. He is the embodiment of a champion and he will never let go of the title. He says Austin doesn’t impress him, so Austin gives him the finger and asks the crowd if they want to see him get his Olympic ass kicked. Kurt hits Austin with the WWF title belt, cutting his attempted beer bash short and leaves with Vince. 

After an extended recap of the events on Raw and Smackdown last week leading to Austin becoming number one contender, and a video of highlights of Kurt Angle’s title reign so far, we get the WWF Championship main event. This has a big fight feel and between the video packages and the way JR and King have talked about this match all night it really feels like this is Stone Cold’s night. Unlike a lot of Raw main events from this era, this has a lot of time which only adds to it feeling like a title change is in the air.

Stone Cold dominates Kurt and fights him out of the ring and around the announce desk and into the crowd. William Regal runs down with a steel pipe and tries to attack the Rattlesnake but he sees it coming and hammers Regal with a brutal chair shot to the head. The distraction does at least let Kurt get control of the match. Kurt gives Austin dozens of suplexes, wearing him out in the ring. There’s an exchange of counters from the Stunner back to the Olympic slam until finally Austin hits a Stone Cold Stunner! Austin has the title won but as the referee counts two, Triple H returns and drags him out of the ring and ends this match via disqualification! Triple H’s first appearance since Armageddon is to screw Austin out of the title! The Game leaves but Austin throws Kurt out of the ring and dares Triple H to come back and fight. He does and aftr a tense stare down, the Rattlesnake and The Game go at it tooth and nail fighting in and out of the ring and across the announce desk. It’s chaos but Triple H manages to grab the steel pipe which William Regal left at ringside and he blasts Stone Cold across the head sending him tumbling over the table and he comes back up bleeding and throwing right hands but he gets a second shot from the pipe followed by a third and Triple H ends the brutality standing over the bloody and beaten Austin on the announce desk. Bizarrely, THIS is the moment where Triple H’s new theme song debuts as for the first time on WWF television “The Game” by Motorhead starts to play to end Raw. Prior to the controversial end of the match, this was a brilliant main event. Austin and Angle have great chemistry, but I said the same about Angle and Rock so I think Kurt Angle is just amazing.

Rumble Ructions

Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley speaks to a group of referees who are upset about being put in a match with Kane and Rikishi tonight. She makes the two who are most vocal about it take the spot. 

Kevin Kelly interviews The Rock about tonight but instead he says that if Stone Cold wins the WWF title tonight, he’ll have a date with The Rock when he wins the Royal Rumble. Seeds have been sown.

Kane and Rikishi face the three man team of The Rock and referee’s Teddy Long and Jack Doan. Stephanie has insisted that Teddy start the match. This is supposed to be Rock’s punishment for attacking two referees on Smackdown but this feels more like a punishment of the referees. The Rock does his best to keep the referees out of this match - even allowing them to stomp on Rikishi while he’s down.

Despite having the clear advantage, Kane gets himself disqualified for getting a steel chair and then pushing down the referee for this match when he tries to stop him. Kane gives Jack Doan a chokeslam, Rikishi squashes Teddy Long in the corner and then as the two of them double team The Rock, Undertaker runs down and makes the save. All four of these men are confirmed to be in the Royal Rumble match. Taker chokeslams Kane and The Rock flattens Rikishi with a Rock Bottom. In the back, Stephanie is upset at Undertaker for ruining her plans. Vince books the four men we just saw in a fatal four way match on Smackdown with the winner becoming number 30 in the Royal Rumble match.

Edge and Christian play Mind Games

Edge and Christian give Kurt Angle a pep talk ahead of his title defence tonight, and tell him to watch the show as they have something special planned for their Royal Rumble challengers The Dudley Boyz. 

WWF Tag Team Champions Edge and Christian head down to the ring and set up a table in the ring. This is their special surprise. How much do we know about The Dudleyz? Christian throws a bunch of childlike insults at them, and Edge talks about the 10s of thousands of times they’ve already beaten The Dudleyz (which is half true, these teams as well as The Hardyz have wrestled so many times now). Edge and Christian bring out “Mama-Fay and Leevon” , the Dudley parents. It’s a heavyset blonde woman and an old black man dressed as The Dudleyz. Christian shows some poorly photoshopped comedy photos of Bubba and D-Von as babies.

 “Mom and dad” only respond to questions by shouting “Testify” and “Wazzup”. Eventually the real Dudleyz run to the ring but the champions use the fake parents as human shields to escape and run off. The Dudleyz hit the ugliest looking 3D I’ve ever seen on their “dad” and then bodyslam and “Wazzup” headbutt their “mom”. They end with Bubba driving “his own mother” through a table with a powerbomb off the top rope. Been a while since they’ve done it to a woman. JR was pretty nasty about this woman’s weight and age for no reason during this segment. 

Medical Update on Chyna

Michael Cole has a sit down interview with Chyna who looks much happier than she did last time. She doesn’t even have a neck brace on and says that thanks to physical therapy she might not need neck surgery but it's still questionable about whether she should get back in the ring.

The One Billy Gunn faces Val Venis, and this time it’s a lumberjack match to hopefully stop the rest of Right to Censor from getting involved. Jonathan Coachman interviews Billy before it where he’s fired up and promises to get revenge for Chyna tonight. Val throws Billy out of the ring to the rest of the RtC but he fights them off and returns to the ring. He throws Val out on the side of K-Kwik and Too Cool who give Venis a beating before throwing him back in. He gets the same from the APA too. Val tries to leave but he's stopped and Gunn wins with a One and Only Slam. 

Other Happenings

• Chris Jericho teams with Matt and Jeff Hardy against the Radical team of Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn and Dean Malenko. Jericho almost had the Intercontinental title won on Smackdown. As always, I’ve got my fingers crossed this is the end of the Malenko and Lita storyline. I despise it. Lita trips Malenko which helps her team win when Jericho pins Benoit with the Lionsault. After the match, Dean grabs the concession workers crate and throws mustard and beer all over her while Jerry Lawler squeals and giggles like a banshee. This whole angle is making me angry at this point.

• After a commercial break while Lita goes to have a shower and clear up the mess, Dean Malenko is shown sneaking into her locker room. Presumably to rape her? Later, he’s shown spying on her (the camera man is out of position and she’s clearly wearing underwear in the shower) and as she screams at Dean to get out, Matt and Jeff arrive and beat the hell out of Dean. Good! They flip a table, trap his leg in the legs of the table and then hammer it with a steel chair, seemingly injuring him. Thank GOD, this is the end of this storyline as this would be the on screen explanation for Malenko leaving to have knee surgery.

• Raven defends the Hardcore title against former champion Steve Blackman. Before the match, Raven taunts Blackman’s former partner and sometimes friend Al Snow who we haven’t seen since Raven hit him with a concrete block in a hardcore match on Smackdown a few weeks ago. Hardcore Holly comes to the ring with his own referee to try and cash in on the 24/7 rule. The distraction allows Raven to use a fire extinguisher to win and retain his title. Holly follows him up the ramp and almost wins the title with a suplex on the entrance ramp but Blackman is there to fight him and as the two challenges fight, Raven escapes through the backstage area and into a waiting car. The mystery is, who was this person waiting for Raven with a getaway car? 

• Test faces Albert and Trish in a handicap match. Test keeps trying to get his hands on Trish which gives Albert a change but Test is very focused on revenge. He fights off Albert and sets up a pump handle slam on Trish but she’s saved by Albert again. Before he’s able to do any damage, European Champion William Regal comes down to the ring and pulls Trish out of the ring and hands up Test allowing Albert to pin his former partner with a chokebomb. It’s heavily implied that Vince McMahon asked Regal to save his little girlfriend. William’s face is badly smashed up with two black eyes and a bandage on his head thanks to Austin hitting him in the head with a pipe on Smackdown. It’s only makeup - he’s fine.

• Mr. McMahon sends his daughter to get him a fresh coffee with milk and sugar and while she’s out of the room, he has a visit from Trish Stratus. Stephanie returns and catches her coming out of the bathroom. Steph books Trish in a match tonight with Albert as her partner against Test in a handicap match. 
• There’s a video package of Bill Gates launching the very first Xbox games console, and The Rock appearing as a special guest. This Raw also features extended promotion for the XFL and for the launch of the first season of the Tough Enough reality show. There were a lot of very specific 2001 adverts on this show!

Smackdown! - January 11th, 2001

Rumble 3:16

Mr. McMahon opens the show in the arena. He says he had nothing to do with Triple H’s appearance on Raw and costing Stone Cold the WWF title. He was as shocked as us and he “verbally reprimanded” The Game this morning. He asks where the war between Austin and Triple H will end, and recaps all the horrible things they’ve done to each other since last year. He says he’s going to put an end to it all tonight and has ordered a 24 hour cooling off period between them and has asked both to not come to Smackdown tonight. He also adds that since Stone Cold is obsessed with becoming WWF Champion he will add him to the Royal Rumble match in the interest of fairness. Kurt Angle will defend the title at the Royal Rumble against the number one contender who he names as his son-in-law, Triple H. He says the decision was made not because of their connection but because we all know that Triple H is “just that damn good”. He has arranged for both Austin and Triple H to appear tonight “live via satellite” but is disappointed that only one person took him up on that offer. Triple H and Stephanie then do appear on the titantron and Vince asks Triple H to confirm that he had nothing to do with his actions on Raw. The Game shows fake remorse for what he did before snapping into an angry heel promo about how just when he thought Austin had solved all his problems Triple H returned and is badder than ever.

He taunts Austin for the one year of effort and training and blood and sweat and pain he spent trying to become WWF Champion again just to then take it away from him. Triple H says his issues with Austin end when he says they end, and this is over when he says it is over. He gets dark and says he won’t be happy until Austin can’t drink beer anymore because his broken neck won’t let him move his head and he’s watching Triple H as the WWF Champion on TV. Humorously, Triple H and Stephanie “live via satellite” are coming from an impressive looking home bar setup that you might feel like you’ve seen before? That’s because Shawn Michaels and Stone Cold appeared from the same home bar at the start of 1999 - it’s in Vince’s house. Triple H pivots to his Royal Rumble opponent and says Kurt has only been WWF Champion because Triple H has allowed it. He has been distracted but he now has his undivided attention. He ends by calling Vince a genius for keeping him and Austin apart because he’d have ended Stone Cold’s career tonight if he had been there. 

During the Jericho and Dudleyz vs. Edge, Christian and Benoit six man tag, Stone Cold arrives with a steel chair. He doesn’t care about Vince’s request to not be here tonight. He hammers Bubba, Edge and D-Von with stiff chair shots and gets a mic. He is pissed! He demands Vince come out and hear what he has to say. Mr. McMahon does and stands on the ramp. Austin doesn’t care about what Vince wants, and he doesn’t need a cooling off period. He wants Vince to answer whether Stone Cold is in the Royal Rumble.

This segment would be better if Vince hadn’t told us this at the start of the show. McMahon confirms that he’s in. He tells Vince to go to the back and tell the other 29 superstars that Stone Cold Steve Austin is highly pissed off and will raise more hell in that match than anyone has ever seen. He responds to what Triple H said earlier - he will settle the score and deal with Triple H’s sick ass after he’s won the Royal Rumble. 

Odds on Favourite

The main event is Kane vs. The Undertaker vs. The Rock vs. Rikishi with the winner being the 30th entrant in the Royal Rumble match. The fight starts between Kane and Rikishi during Undertaker’s entrance and the three are brawling as The Rock enters last. It’s a chaotic brawl as Rikishi uses a ringbell to knock down Kane, but Kane retaliates with a huge chair shot. Ironically the 2001 Rumble match is one of Kane’s most famous performances and if he’d entered at number 30 it wouldn’t be.

The Rock comes close to winning with a Rock Bottom, The Undertaker comes close to winning with a chokeslam but after absorbing both finishes, Kane is easy pickings for Rikishi to sit on for the winning fall as Undertaker and Rock fight on the outside. Rikishi wins and is number 30 in the Rumble match. He had the least chance of actually winning of these four. The fighting continues with Kane who has the last laugh, planting Rock, Undertaker and Rikishi in succession with chokeslams and standing tall with his fiery pyro and theme music playing to end Smackdown.

ECW

January 11th was also the date where ECW’s final episode of Hardcore TV aired on TNN. As I mentioned previously, the network lost all interest in ECW after they acquired the WWF and so this was very much the final nail in the company’s coffin.

Other Happenings

• This episode of Smackdown is only an hour long on the WWE Network. It seems that on this night, the WWF gave up the final 30 minutes of their time slot for some new comedy show. I’ve never heard of it so I can’t imagine it lasted. Funnily enough one of the reasons the XFL ended up tanking was because the WWF refused to do exactly that and give the final 30 minutes of Smackdown to XFL coverage at NBC’s request which caused a fall out and NBC to withdraw support for the league. 
• Edge and Christian go looking for Kurt Angle, mocking Triple H as they do. They can’t find the WWF Champion in his locker room. Later on, Jonathan Coachman interviews Kurt Angle, who is offended at the suggestion he had his title saved by Triple H. He’d have kicked out of a Stone Cold Stunner. He had Austin. He’ll beat Triple H too - he won the six man Hell in a Cell (which included Triple H) and he has no problem beating Triple H but doesn’t want to be at odds with the McMahon family. Since he won’t have a McMahon in his corner, he’s found someone else who wants to manage a champion - Trish Stratus. He has new found confidence. 
• Vince gets backstage and is upset about Austin and what has happened tonight. Trish is waiting for him in his locker room and asks what she’s thinking, being in Kurt’s corner at Royal Rumble? She apologises, says she’s been very bad and that she deserves a spanking. She bends over and closes the office door in the camera’s face. The fans cheered loudly. This was all a bit creepy even at the time, but it’s downright sinister looking back from 2024 with all that's come out about Vince. 

• Matt and Jeff Hardy team with “The One” Billy Gunn against Val Venis, Goodfather and Bull Buchanan (with Steven Richards). A sneaky superkick from Richards to Matt Hardy gives the RtC the victory. 
• Test faces K-Kwik. Kwik gets to show off plenty of athletic skills but Test wins clean with a big boot. Test cements his recent face turn by giving K-Kwik respect and a high five after the match. As Test leaves he’s jumped from behind by European Champion William Regal who hits him with the title belt. 
• Backstage, Kaientai uses their newfound powers of heavily dubbed speech to flirt with XFL cheerleaders. 
• Chris Jericho and The Dudleyz take on the championship team of Tag Champions Edge and Christian, and Intercontinental Champion Chris Benoit. Edge and Christian break out a 5 second pose for the first time in a while and use lots of “the local sports team suck” material. Always good fun, even if I don’t get it. When Jericho comes out he mocks Benoit and says he deserves another title shot for pinning him on Raw. Benoit laughs and says he’s beaten Jericho so many times (true) that he can have any kind of match he wants. Jericho challenges Benoit to a ladder match at Royal Rumble, which Benoit accepts. The Dudleyz charge out and the match begins as a chaotic brawl all over the ringside area before breaking down to six man rules. The match is ruined when Stone Cold Steve Austin arrives.

Raw is War - January 15th, 2001

Provoking the Rattlesnake

Triple H and Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley head down to the ring. He had it last week unannounced but this is the proper debut of Motorhead’s The Game as Triple H’s entrance music as he performs his full entrance with it here. Triple H says that everywhere he goes people tell him to kick Austin’s ass. The fans chant “asshole” at him. He promises that he’ll end Austin but for now, unless he’s physically provoked, he won’t lay a hand on Austin. Stephanie then introduces the man who’ll control things from 2000 miles away - Vince McMahon “live” via satellite. He’s surrounded by XFL branding and promotes the first game on “February three” because Vince says dates funny.

Triple H made it sound like he offered not to lay a hand on Austin but Vince explains that he’s told them both if they come to blows tonight Triple H loses his title shot and Austin loses his spot in the Rumble match. This whole thing is very obviously pre taped but Steph interacts with it a bit. He announces a big main event - Stone Cold teams with The Dudley Boyz against Kurt Angle and Edge and Christian. Austin did hit both Bubba and D-Von with a chair on Smackdown so that might go well for the Rattlesnake. Triple H then moves to talk about Kurt Angle and his Royal Rumble match. He says that Kurt is only the champion because Triple H has allowed it. He buries Kurt talking about using his brother to help him cheat at Survivor Series, and all the help he gets from Edge and Christian. He promises to win the WWF title at Royal Rumble. That brings Kurt down to the ring to respond. Around this time there was a famous story of Triple H trying to bury Kurt to management in real life too but he shut up when Pat Patterson suggested The Game should fight the Olympian for real and see who wins. I’ll talk about it more at the PPV. Kurt tells Stephanie that she blew it - she could be managing the WWF Champion if she stuck with him. Triple H hasn’t held the title since last June! “The Game? Donkey Kong has a better chance at winning this title than you do pal!” That’s good. Kurt then brings out someone the McMahon family knows well - Trish Stratus. She’s wearing a fur coat and diamond earrings as JR speculates they were expensive gifts from Mr. McMahon. She makes a couple of innuendos about her relationship with Vince to rile up Steph. As deeply unfeminist as all of this “you’re a slut, you’re a tramp” stuff is, it’s worth remembering that Stephanie was herself head of creative by this point.

She books Trish in a “spanking” match with Jacqueline tonight whatever that is. I guess Trish has given up on trying to impress her “friend” Vince’s daughter. 

Michael Cole interviews Bubba Ray and D-Von. It seems they haven’t forgotten about those chair shots either and while they promise to help him out tonight, after the match they’ll have something to talk to him about.

The six man tag is scheduled to be up next but as Bubba and D-Von make their way through the back, Edge and Christian attack them from behind with steel chairs. Edge slams Bubba’s head between a chair and the wall, and then he and Christian both finish off D-Von with a con-chair-to. It looks like Stone Cold is down by two partners, but the match is delayed until later in the show. Stephanie and Triple H are shown watching on, and Steph says she’ll call “daddy” to see what they should do. Vince says that Austin doesn’t have any friends so he’ll have to find his own partners and if he can’t then it’ll be a three on one handicap match. 

Before the main event, which as of now is a three on one match for Stone Cold Steve Austin, Stephanie suggests something to her husband Triple H. He laughs and says that maybe he can get Austin to provoke him tonight. It does seem unlikely that the Rattlesnake will ask someone to have his back tonight. One of his catchphrases is literally “don’t trust anybody”. Austin enters first, followed by WWF Tag Team Champions Edge and Christian and WWF Champion Kurt Angle. Austin takes a position in the corner of the ring to pose and he reads my mind just as I was sitting thinking “how is Earl Hebner in his camera shot already? Is he provoking me?” Austin visibly tells Hebner to move the hell out of the way. Austin has a big smile as his three opponents arrive and no one is sure why until the APA’s music hits!

Stone Cold has Bradshaw and Faarooq as his partners. The Acolytes fight their way away from the ring with the Tag Team Champions leaving this as a one on one fight. Austin beats Angle pretty quickly and cleanly with a Stone Cold Stunner as Triple H comes out onto the stage to watch. With the match over, Triple H walks down to the ring and recounts all the horrible things he’s done to Stone Cold. He wants to provoke Austin and cost him his slot in the Royal Rumble match. He’s daring the Rattlesnake to do it and fight him. As they stand nose to nose, Earl Hebner AGAIN manages to get in the way and Austin has to shove him away. God I hate this man. Triple H keeps calling out Stone Cold’s manhood and begging him to hit him. Austin goes and gets himself a steel chair. He wants to do it so badly - he wants to beat Triple H’s ass but he can’t lose his spot in the Royal Rumble match. He gives The Game the finger and leaves. Triple H can’t believe it and keeps calling him a coward and a chicken. He calls Austin a pussy and that was too much. Austin goes back to the ring and he’s going to cost himself a Rumble slot but he’s saved by Kurt Angle dropping Triple H with an Olympic Slam! Austin gives the WWF Champion a Stunner and gets the last laugh to end Raw with a beer bash. 

Rumble Alliances

Kevin Kelly interviews The Rock who is supposed to team with Undertaker against Rikishi and Kane later. The Rock isn’t happy about being Undertaker’s partner. Stephanie and Triple H listen to that, and so they call Vince and let him know so he decides to switch up the teams, presumably to mess with all four of them. It’s now Rock and Kane against Undertaker and Rikishi. 

There’s plenty of tension when Undertaker and Rikishi enter first - these two have been in a war since Armageddon. Rock and Rikishi start the match for their respective teams. Interesting as the match wears on all the various pairs mix it up but The Undertaker and Kane only tease coming to blows and never actually do. Kane turns on his own partner, dropping The Rock with a chokeslam and leaving the ring. He stops on the ramp and watches as his brother struggles with but hits a big thumping Last Ride.

The Undertaker wins it for his team, but the story here at the finish is Kane seemingly helping out his older brother. They stare at each other and there might - just might - be an understanding between the brothers. This is maybe the 5th or 6th time they’ve done this “are they together or not?” story with Kane and Undertaker. 

Chyna Returns

The Hardy Boyz and Lita take on the Right to Censor team of Val Venis, Steven Richards and WWF Womens Champion Ivory. Last night on Sunday Night Heat, Ivory challenged Chyna to a match at Royal Rumble and even offered to put her women’s title on the line. She did this knowing Chyna will never be medically cleared in time. Wink.

This is a fun match and the fans are red hot for it, especially Lita. It’s always funny hearing the loud, very female scream for Jeff Hardy taking his top off. Lita gets the tag and dominates Ivory, throwing her out of the ring. Chyna returns, walking down to the ring and throws Ivory back into the ring and into a waiting Twist of Fate from Lita. Lita pins her and wins the match for her team for a very loud reaction. The RtC drag Ivory to safety but before they leave, Chyna has time to get a mic and accept Ivory’s challenge for a WWF Women’s title match at Royal Rumble. Later in the show, JR and King speculate that it’s a mistake for Chyna to get back in the ring before she’s ready physically. They interviewed Billy Gunn from WWF New York who said the same thing. He’s worried about Chyna’s well being, but supports her no matter what. He ends by telling us not to count him out in the Royal Rumble match.

Trish gets hers

While on the phone with Stephanie and Triple H, Vince tries to casually ask how Trish is by dropping her name in with a bunch of others. “How is Kane? How is Rock? How is Trish? How is Esse Rios?” That was pretty funny.

Trish carrying a leather strap enters first for the spanking match. Jerry Lawler squeals like a pig, babbling about spanking. They even show him sweating at ringside. Does this man have no dignity? I know I’ve mentioned it a bunch in the past month of shows mostly related to the Malenko and Lita stuff but my God I hate Jerry Lawler. I think it's even more unforgivable after the feud with Tazz basically turned him babyface last summer. Jackie lashes Trish with a leather strap and chases her around the ring. Jackie pulls up Trish’s top so she can whip bare skin but WWF Champion Kurt Angle comes down to help his new manager. As he tries to pull her to safety, Jackie pulls at her pants and exposes her ass in a thong and whips that a couple of times. I’m sure you can all imagine the calm, collected way Jerry Lawler reacted to it. It’s so deeply off putting you couldn’t enjoy seeing Trish’ butt even if you wanted to. Later, Kurt gives Trish the rest of the night off so she can go and “ice that thing”. 

ECW

On January 13th, ECW presented its final show of any kind - a non-televised event in Pine Bluff, Arkansas. It was an inauspicious end for the brand in a city where it had little history. I’m sure it broke Paul Heyman’s heart to not put on a farewell show at the ECW arena in Philadelphia but in truth he was in deep denial about the company’s fortunes and thought he could save it. The company finally closed officially on April 4th, 2001 owing close to $9 million in debts to various creditors including multiple wrestlers (Rob Van Dam and Tommy Dreamer were both owed over $100k in unpaid salary) and Vince McMahon himself who had been quietly loaning money to Heyman since 1997. The company’s assets and tape library were purchased by the WWF (by then, WWE) in January 2003, but that isn’t the last we’d hear of ECW on WWF television before then. 

Other Happenings

• The Raw opening has been updated. It actually has a bunch of clips from last week’s show but you’d never realise they were all from the same episode of Raw unless you’d just watched that episode…like me. 
• Raven defends the Hardcore title against Test. Before long, Hardcore Holly and Steve Blackman both join the frey with their own referees in tow and turn this into a four way brawl for the Hardcore title. The fight goes backstage and Raven lies in wait with a trash can to knock out Test and retain his title. Raven once again runs off and escapes with his title, once again having a getaway driver waiting for him. Blackman and Holly argue over how they keep getting in each other’s way chasing the hardcore title and agree to face each other later.
• Intercontinental Champion Chris Benoit heads down to the ring carrying a ladder. He’s defending against Chris Jericho in a ladder match at Royal Rumble. Benoit sets the ladder up in the middle of the ring and speaks to us from atop. He gives Y2J credit for being one of the toughest men he’s been in the ring with and introduces a video of the greatest moments of their feud. It’s a video which oddly is set to Jericho’s theme music, but consists entirely of Benoit beating up Jerich with suplexes, headbutts and Crossfaces. He promises to beat Jericho again at the Royal Rumble but before he can finish his thoughts Jericho comes from behind through the crowd and pushes the ladder over sending Benoit crashing to the outside.

• K-Kwik teams with Grandmaster Sexay and Scotty 2 Hotty against Tazz and Kaientai. K-Kwik had a bit of direction when he was teaming with Roaddogg but his departure thanks to his real life demons has left him without a path. It’s still amazing seeing him here when in 2024 he’s one half of the World Tag Team Champions. Tazz says that “you gotta love these two funny little ninja guys”. Taka and Funaki “talk” before the match with their poorly dubbed voices. It gets a laugh and there’s a bunch of “Indeed” signs in the crowd, which is all Funaki ever says. This gimmick is really working for them, and Taka is still one of my most cherished boys of the era. Tazz wins a short, fun match for his team with a Tazzmission on K-Kwik. Taka and Fuanki throw out a celebratory victory promo after the match too. Indeed! 

• Hardcore Holly faces Steve Blackman. Before the match, Holly takes issue with Blackman being called the greatest hardcore champion of all time and says that he is. After referee Teddy Long stops Holly from using a chair, he’s shoved down and so the referee just walks out on the match and leaves Blackman and Holly to it. They hit each other with trash cans and stop signs as Teddy Long stops any other referees going down to the ring. He lets them fight until they’re done, with Holly coming out on top with a stop sign.
• The classic “Royal Rumble moment” on this show is happier times for Rikishi and him dancing with Too Cool in the middle of last year’s Rumble match.

Smackdown! - January 18th, 2001

Royal Rumble Favourites

Smackdown opens with a recap of Raw and the announcement of tonight’s mega main event. The Rock, The Undertaker and Stone Cold take on Rikishi, Kane, WWF Champion Kurt Angle, with Triple H as the special guest referee. He’s got a match at the Royal Rumble with Kurt Angle to prepare for, and he also wants to provoke Stone Cold into attacking him so he loses his own Rumble match spot. Which will he prioritise?

Kevin Kelly interviews the Royal Rumble’s number 30 entrant, Rikishi. He says the world was shocked when he ran over Stone Cold Steve Austin but shouldn’t be shocked when he wins the Royal Rumble. Jonathan Coachman interviews one of the other favourites for the Rumble match, Kane. Kane says that the match is him vs. the world. Later, Kevin would try to interview Stone Cold too but the Rattlesnake wasn’t in a chatty mood. 

For the huge six man tag team main event, Triple H enters first as referee. It seems clear he’s going to try as hard as he can to provoke Stone Cold into striking him so he loses his spot in the Royal Rumble but if Triple H strikes Austin first then he loses his title match. Lots of stories in this six man tag with the main one being that five of the seven men involved (including the referee) are favourites to win the Royal Rumble match. There’s also Kane and The Undertaker seemingly working together at the end of Raw. Are the brothers flirting with an alliance once again? I’m surprised that Stone Cold Steve Austin enters first for his team - he’s usually the last man out. I think the company and men involved have probably caught on that The Rock is as popular as he is these days. It does give Austin the badass look of fearlessly getting into the ring with four men that hate him and pushing on with his posing for the fans anyway with his back to them. He’s not afraid of four on one odds. Triple H tries to provoke Austin right away with his pre match checks, and gets a bit physical, pulling him off of Angle. Considering how many stars are involved and the calibre of the men involved, this match gets about 15 minutes which is a lot for a TV main event in this era. It’s a solid match as each man tags in and out and gets plenty of time to be on top and show off what they can do. Notably, the fans actually boo when Undertaker tags in Austin instead of The Rock.

Maybe they’re just booing the tension between Undertaker and Rock? The “will they, won’t they” between Kane and Undertaker continues as when both men end up being legal, Taker attacks Kane’s partners on the apron instead, and Kane just shoves his brother before tagging out. They don’t seem to want to come to blows. With Austin and Angle in the ring, Kurt shows Triple H into Stone Cold, knocking them down. Triple H is angry and gives Kurt a Pedigree. That shove seems to be all Austin needed and he lays into Triple H and drops him with a series of punches. The match breaks down into chaos with everyone fighting around the ring. The Rock plants Kurt with a Rock Bottom and Triple H actually counts the three! As Triple H taunts Angle, he turns into a Stone Cold Stunner and Rock and Austin stare down in the ring. That’s ruined by The Undertaker and Kane who then attack both men and have a staredown of their own. Kane cues his pyro, but it's Undertaker’s theme song that plays. 

Stephanie vs. Trish? Or Triple H vs. Kurt? 

Triple H and Stephanie arrive at the arena in a very good mood, but that’s ruined when Stephanie notices that Trish Stratus has been given her own private dressing room with a big star on the door. Later, Trish was shown arriving in a limo wearing lots of very expensive clothing. Stephanie sees this and gets angry at this presumably all being gifts from Mr. McMahon.

Trish goes to see Stephanie - she’s angry about the spanking match on Raw. Stephanie taunts her about all the expensive gifts she’s gotten, and the “secret” relationship with Vince. Stephanie spills coffee on Trish’ chest on purpose and Trish shoves Steph. Just as the two are about to fight, Vince shows up to keep them apart and tells them to act like a big happy family. Later as Trish changes out of her wet top, Vince goes to check on her where she sucks up to him, gives him a big hub and squeezes his butt. Stephanie is then shown watching that and freaking out. This whole storyline could have worked if it turned out that Trish manipulated both McMahons but that’s not the way this goes - the McMahons were never going to book themselves to look weak were they? Anyway Vince got interrupted to be told that his special guests are waiting for him in a limo out in the parking lot. Vince goes to see them but we can’t see who he’s talking to as he gets in. Later the commentators would speculate this means we’re getting a mystery participant at the Rumble. They never did explain but there is at least one surprise at the PPV.

Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley heads down to the ring full of rage. She says that you can ignore small piles of garbage but when they get big they’re too much to ignore. She calls out Trish Stratus. Trish comes down with a smile and says that she and Vince are just friends and that she loves the WWF as much as Stephanie does. “Daddy’s little girl” goes right for the slut jokes and says that she is the dominant female in the WWF and if she doesn’t learn that she’ll need to teach it to her the hard way. Trish doesn’t back down and just as it looks like they might come to blows, Triple H comes down to the ring. Trish looks worried but Stephanie looks pleased assuming he’ll have his wife’s back. He does and tells Steph that Trish isn’t worth it. He continues to insult Trish until WWF Champion Kurt Angle appears to leap to his new manager’s defence. Kurt puts the focus back on the WWF title and their title match at the Rumble. Kurt says that he has gold medals and got invited to the Presidential inauguration, but Triple H got neither and he won’t get the WWF title either.

Triple H attacks Angle, and Stephanie attacks Trish. They all fight and brawl until Kurt is able to get away and drag Trish to safety. Backstage, Kurt and Trish console each other in her locker room. Vince enters and after excusing Kurt Angle, gives Trish the night off and actually leaves with her.

Rumble midcard title match build

Chris Jericho opens the show in the arena and much like Benoit did on Raw, sets up a ladder in the ring to cut his promo from. Jericho promises to beat Benoit senseless with the ladder on Sunday and while he doesn’t want to use a cliche like “I don’t want to wait til Sunday, I want you tonight” he does and challenges Benoit to have the ladder match tonight. His challenge is instead answered by fellow Radical Perry Saturn (wearing a Latino Heat t-shirt). Perry says that while Benoit would love to come out here and beat Jericho tonight, after Y2J’s “cowardly” attack on Raw, Benoit is under constant doctor’s care and is unable to compete tonight. Saturn is happy to do it tonight though. Jericho makes a joke about Terri’s fake boobs and then accepts “Jupiter”s challenge. Perry heads down to the ring and isn’t dressed to wrestle but there’s no referee and a ladder set up in the ring so it’s not a real match anyway. Benoit does show his face and tries to jump Jericho from behind. Y2J sees it coming and fights him off but with a two on one advantage, the Radicals beat Jericho up, hitting him in the face with the ladder and then sandwiching his arm between it and slamming it down on his shoulder and arm over and over.

Benoit then ends the carnage by locking a Crossface on the same arm until referees arrive to stop it. 

WWF Tag Team Champions Edge and Christian head down to the ring. They show a replay of them destroying The Dudleyz with steel chairs on Raw and both Bubba and D-Von have concussions. Edge is in singles action with Bubba Ray tonight and both Dudleyz come out with bruises and walk with a stagger like they’ve been knocked silly. This kind of angle would NEVER fly today. Concussions used to be treated like plot devices and as minor as a head cold. It wasn’t until years later that sports - mostly the NFL - accepted how incredibly dangerous they, and head trauma in general, is to long term health. Edge works on Bubba’s head during the match as the fans chant for tables. Bubba wins a short match (all the while selling his head like he has a headache) with a Bubba-bomb - his sit down atomic drop - and then he and D-Von give Christian a Wazzup after the match. They try to use a table but as both men are groggy and stumbling and selling their heads Edge and Christian flatten Bubba with a Spear and D-Von with an Unprettier. Edge and Christian then set up a table on the outside and powerbomb Bubba of the apron through, bouncing off the floor. 

Jerry Lawler introduces the XFL cheerleaders for the Chicago Enforcers team (Smackdown is in Chicago) but are interrupted by Steven Richards and WWF Women’s Champion Ivory. Richards calls this immoral, Ivory calls them strippers and hookers, and then Richards chases the cheerleaders away from the ring. King says he saw this coming and his real surprise is Ivory’s Royal Rumble opponent Chyna. Richards tries to protect Ivory but Chyna throws him out of the ring and the 9th Wonder of the World spikes Ivory with a powerbomb. King says that she looks like she’s 100% healthy now. 

Other Happenings

• Steve Blackman faces Hardcore Holly in a Raw rematch but this time it’s a hardcore rules match. This feud is over which one of these men is the true greatest hardcore champion of all time. Neither of them is the current champion though. Raven showed up with a kendo stick and knocked out both men. Blackman landed on top and technically wins the match but the hardcore champion doesn’t stick around and runs away where once again there is a getaway driver already waiting for him. King and Cole speculate about who Raven’s getaway driver and/or accomplice is. 

• Test faces Right to Censor member Val Venis. European Champion William Regal joins commentary to watch it and explains that after being asked to attack Test once by Vince McMahon, he keeps doing it because he enjoys it. Test just has one of those faces you want to punch. Fair enough. Test jumps the announce desk and attacks Regal, tearing his suit jacket before the match begins. Regal goes back on commentary even with his torn up suit. He’s great talking about his outage at being molested by Test. Regal does deny that it was Vince who asked him to attack Test and save Trish the first time though - an anonymous person asked him to do that. As the match continues, with Val distracting the referee, Regal blasts Test in the head with a steel chair. That draws loud “Regal sucks” chants and allows Val to finish him off with a Money Shot splash to win the match. The European Champion gets into the ring in his shredded suit jacket and slaps Test across the face. 

• The Hardyz and Lita take on the APA and Jacqueline in a six person tag team match. Lita has the match won after a short back and forth with a moonsault on Jackie but Faarooq breaks up the pin. The Hardys hit a Swanton/Twist of Fate combo on Faarooq but Bradshaw is there with a stiff Clothesline from Hell on Jeff to pick up the victory. All four of the men in this match are in the Rumble match on Sunday.