Raw is War - January 4th, 1999

Foley is Good

Mankind makes his way to the ring to the commentators' shock. He’s not scheduled for a match tonight and they don’t know why he’s here. Mankind says he’s had a lot of firsts lately - it’s the first time he’s ever grabbed another man’s testicles and “Pat Patterson, In a rugged manly way, I kind of enjoyed it” It’s also the first time he’s ever said “suck it” without a “please” in front of it which gets a big laugh from the crowd. He says he’s discovered his new favourite hobby - kicking the McMahon Family’s asses. He says that even though he and Vince hate each other, he wants a shot at the WWF title at the Royal Rumble. He says that he enjoyed making his son Shane “cry like a two year old with a poop in his diaper” He points out all the “Foley is God'' signs but corrects it to “Foley is Good” and says he beat The Rock at Rock Bottom so he deserves it. “Get your….can I say ass on television?....ass, out here “dad '' '' Vince does come out and after assuring us that The Corporate team is right behind him in case Mankind tries anything and he calls Foley a decrepit monster. He says Foley even asking for a WWF title shot stains the championship and the WWF in general. He says that Foley would be WWF champion now if he’d listened to Vince but instead he listened to the people. He reminds us how much Foley has sacrificed and given of his body all for “the roar of the crowd” He says that Mick Foley - Mankind, Cactus Jack, Dude Love - hasn’t paid his dues. The idea of him as the number one contender for the WWF Championship isn’t even laughable. He will “never, ever again” get close to the WWF Championship. He offers Mankind a chance to qualify for the Royal Rumble match by facing Triple H tonight instead but makes Shane McMahon the referee for that too. “Have a nice day” 

Shane McMahon jogs to the ring in full referee attire for the Mankind/Triple H match. The winner of this gets to be in the 1999 Royal Rumble match. Before the match, Shane goes out and promises King and Michael Cole that he will call this match right down the middle. The finish comes from nowhere as after a short back and forth, Triple H does a sunset flip and Shane counts to three lightning fast. Triple H wins and grabs the mic. He says he’s sorry to Mankind, but business is business and he has to take the win because he wants to be WWF Champion but ends with “happy New Year” and plants Shane with a pedigree. “He’s all yours” Mankind says he wants to show Shane a move he learned back in highschool and drops his gym teacher and school’s names. He locks Shane in a laying down abdominal stretch-looking hold. Shane screams in pain and Mankind has a mic in his hand. He’s changed his mind - he doesn’t want a title shot at the Royal Rumble he wants a title shot tonight! Vince agrees but Mankind says he needs to think about it and keeps stretching Shane who screams in pain. Vince is panicked about his son’s well being and agrees to make it no disqualification too. Mankind vs. The Rock tonight for the WWF Championship in a no DQ match. And just like that, history is set. Mankind leaves through the crowd and the over excited Philadelphia fans grab and pull and tug at him and end up shredding most of his shirt. The Rock comes out and is furious that he has to defend the title tonight - he isn’t even ready! “It’s my son!” he barks at The Rock. 

Mankind comes out for the main event WWF title match and he has the whole of D-Generation X with him as back up. They’ve adopted him as a little brother type figure lately as they united against Team Corporate. The Rock comes out in his black Adidas tracksuit and has the entire Corporation with him. This is no disqualification and there are more than ten people at ringside. Shawn Michaels promised a “Stone Cold surprise” but with him being taken to the hospital, does that still stand? This is another really good, but short, match between these two who have amazing chemistry. They brawl around the ring and Mankind takes a lot of punishment with the ring steps and gets Rock Bottomed through the announce table which is the first time he’s ever done that. Back in the ring there's a scoop slam and a People’s Elbow which Mankind kicks out of. King takes some shots at WCW during this, about how even though there’s lots of guys around the ring this match will actually have a winner and loser and not end with a messy brawl “like in some leagues'' After a distraction from Bossman, The Rock hits Mankind with the WWF title belt but Mick again kicks out! Mankind ducks another shot and then does a double arm DDT onto the belt but The Rock kicks out of that. Mankind locks in the mandible claw with Mr. Socko and it's at that moment that Shamrock gets in the ring to hit Mankind with a chair. He’s jumped by Billy Gunn and DX and Team Corporate brawl wildly and then, the Stone Cold surprise arrives. Austin’s music hits and the crowd go absolutely insane - one of the loudest reactions I’ve ever heard that will amazingly be surpassed in a few seconds. He blasts The Rock with a brutal chairshot and puts Mankind on top of him, pausing to shoot the fingers at McMahon. The referee counts to three and Mankind is the WWF Champion, which gets an even louder reaction. If you’ve never seen this moment, watch it here because I can't do justice to how loud the crowd is!

It’s incredible and the fans scream and roar and shout so loudly the commentators can’t be heard. McMahon is furious and leaves with the Corporate Team as DX parade Mick around on their shoulders. I teared up watching this. One of my all time favourite moments in wrestling history. Mick dedicates the win to his kids. “Big Daddio did it!” and Raw ends on this lovely, life changing moment. 

Corporate Punishment

The show opens with an emotional touching tribute to Shawn Michaels who was fired last week by Mr. McMahon. As it plays, Vince’s voice interrupts demanding “that sentimental crap” be taken off the titantron. The video ends abruptly and Vince makes his way to the ring flanked by the entire Corporation - Shane McMahon and WWF Champion The Rock leading the charge followed by Intercontinental Champion Ken Shamrock and his tag team championship partner The Big Bossman, the Corporate insurance policy Test and bringing up the rear - Kane with Patterson and Brisco. Brisco has stuck a hand written “Brisco Bros Body Shop” sign on Kane’s back. Vince says that Shawn’s promise to be on Raw tonight that he made last night on Heat is false and that Shawn is a coward and if he shows up he’ll be dismembered by The Corporation but before he can get going, Shawn Michaels is shown arriving at the arena on the titantron, and then he walks out on to the stage with his theme music playing. “The Sheriff is back in town.” He has D-Generation X with him. There’s no explanation given as to why they’re all friends again - HBK must have apologised - and he says that his lawyers have looked over his contract and that its ironclad. 

Vince said himself on TV that the commissioner will answer to no one, not even Mr. McMahon. Shawn says that the only way he’ll stop being commissioner is if he resigns which is never going to happen. It has to be said, all these recent developments very much make it seem like Shawn’s in ring return was imminent. (which I think they all thought it was at the time too) Shawn shows footage from three weeks ago where Vince and Shane drew his and Austin’s entry numbers for the Royal Rumble, and says that as Vince McMahon is in that match that means he’s a WWF competitor which means that Shawn has full authority over him. He changes Vince’s Rumble entry number from number 30 to being number 2. Stone Cold is still number 1. Vince looks distraught, like his legs might buckle from beneath him. Shawn says that at “sometime this evening” the Heartbreak Kid is going to go out and “get Vince a surprise” He guarantees the surprise will drive McMahon “stone cold crazy” Yeah we get it Shawn. Austin hasn’t been on Raw or Heat since Rock Bottom. As the DX music plays, Vince in the ring gives The Corporation their matching orders for the night (which we don’t hear)

Backstage, Shawn Michaels is having a laugh with DX and they all seem to be best friends again. 

Kane comes out being led by an injured acting Shane McMahon (who’s still in his referee gear) and with Patterson and Brisco walking behind Kane and making fun of him. Patterson keeps making fun of Kane. Shane says that tonight Kane will take on Gerald Brisco and Pat Patterson in a handicap match. This is punishment for them letting Shane get beat up and attacked during Vince’s absence. The same incident that got Shawn Michaels fired from the Corporation. Shane provides commentary over the live mic as Kane attacks. He chokeslams Brisco. Patterson gets a chair and when Kane catches him with it, he sets it up and offers Kane a seat. He gets a huge chokeslam of his own. Vince grabs Brisco to the corner and pulls him crotch first into the ring post and then starts working on Patterson’s leg. Kane takes his moment to snatch Shane by the throat too. Vince on the mic calmly tells Kane to calm down and that he’ll go back to the sanitarium, and Kane releases the boss's son. “That’s what you get for not taking care of me, let's go Kane” Shane does such a good job of playing the spoiled rich daddy’s boy. Shane and Vince hug. 

Shawn Michaels leads DX through the back and is about to leave the arena. He hugs Triple H and says he’s glad to be on their side and goes off to get the Stone Cold surprise. “I’ll see you guys later” Triple H says “maybe, maybe not” to himself as they walk away. After an ad break, Shawn Michaels is laid on the hood of his car and the windshield is smashed in with his head basically put through it. It looked super graphic. In a replay we can see that it was Big Bossman who jumped him and the camera fell. We don’t see the beating but we can hear Vince McMahon screaming “get him, get him, get him” in the background. Shawn is carefully extracted from the windshield and his face is covered in cuts and blood as he cries out in pain. Between this and Triple H’s little “maybe we won’t see you later” comment, they seem to be implying that Triple H and DX knew this was coming, or that they had their own plan and that the Corporation got to Shawn first but it would never be referenced again so it doesn’t really matter. Michael Cole is unbearable here and I don’t know if he’s asking stupid questions to let the viewer fill in the blanks or if he’s genuinely just stupid but he keeps asking “is this the dismemberment of Shawn Michaels that Vince McMahon promised?” over and over. Yes Michael, obviously. 

Sexual Chocolate

Chyna and her girlfriend Sammy are backstage whispering and discussing something. Mark Henry makes his way to the ring and King is pretty funny shushing Michael Cole so he can enjoy the “sultry sexy theme music of Sexual Chocolate”. He’s facing Goldust. Mark might have the match won with a leg drop but Chyna and her friend come out onto the stage which distracts Mark and lets Goldust get advantage and then deliver Shattered Dreams (which is a big punt to the crotch in the corner) The bell doesn’t ring but Goldust’s music starts playing. I think officially Mark Henry wins by disqualification. Chyna cost Mark a match with Triple H last night on Heat too. Chyna and her friend come down to the ring and Chyna gives Mark a kiss on the cheek. Chyna says that she had an amazing night with Mark the other night and that he’s too much man for her so she’s brought Sammy along so he can have them both. Mark faints and the two women console him and leave the ring with him. 

Other Happenings

• Double Champion Ken Shamrock has a non-title match with his former buddy Steve Blackman. As this match progresses the commentators talk a lot about how Bad Ass Billy Gunn has a non-title victory over Shamrock and deserves a title shot. A neck brace wearing Dan Severn comes out to ringside to watch this match. He’s barely been on TV since Owen Hart “broke his neck” Severn gets on the apron after Shamrock cheats and while the referee is distracted Billy Gunn runs to the ring and Fameassers Shamrock which allows Blackman to pin him in a shock upset. After an ad break, referees and officials are busy pulling Shamrock and Billy Gunn apart as they brawl backstage.
• Footage of Dennis Knight - who was abducted by The Acolytes - Bradshaw and Faarooq - last week on Raw after being told to be at the arena by a mysterious “he '' - chained up in a dirty basement, crying out for help. Big “Saw” vibes. There were a couple of these until The Acolytes walked into the room dressed in all black to release him. “He’s ready for you, its time” 

• Godfather comes out with four hoes this week for his match with Test. Test has changed his ring gear from the long leather trousers last week into short tights this week. His theme music is country music sounding instrumental which I’ve never heard before in my life. This is Test’s first singles match and I think it was a mistake to have him work a back and forth match with The Godfather. He’s supposed to be the Corporation's muscle and he should have just demolished someone. Val Venis comes out to watch this one, either because he’s friends with The Godfather or because of his run ins with Test last week. Maybe both? The match I think ends via a double countout as the bell just rang as the two fought around the ring. Val Venis runs down and attacks Test and they’re pulled apart by referees. 
• Edge is taking on D’Lo Brown. D’Lo kicked Terri Runnels and Jacqueline - Pretty Mean Sisters (because PMS, hilarious Russo) to the curb last week after they lead his tag team partner Sexual Chocolate astray. This match is decent but too short. “It must be that time of the month” says feminist hero Michael Cole as Terri and Jackie make their way to the ring. Terri gets up on the ring steps and as D’Lo approaches her she falls to the floor clutching her stomach. They’re been claiming she’s pregnant since early November. Everyone freaks out as Terri cries and squeals and holds her stomach saying “my baby, my baby” over and over. She’s quickly stretchered away. I have no idea what the point of this storyline was apart from to end the Terri being pregnant story that they started with no plan in the first place, but it makes everyone involved look back, and makes everyone watching feel really sad and uncomfortable. Just a real homerun there Vince Russo. In the back the WWF’s resident doctor (who speaks with a thick French accent) explains that he can’t hear the baby anymore. Jesus.

• Al Snow (still wearing the outfit that's covered in blood from The Brood’s bloodbath a couple of weeks ago and carrying Head that has all its hair shaved off) challenges Roaddogg for the Hardcore Championship. Al hides at the top of the ramp and when Roaddogg comes out and stops in his tracks on seeing Head sitting there, Snow jumps him from behind and they brawl to the ring. The match goes to ringside and involves a couple of chairs and a table. Al lays Roaddogg on the table after a hard chairshot and tries to moonsault off the barrier onto him but Roaddogg moves out of the way and Snow crashes through the table and almost gets pinned. Roaddogg nails Snow in the head multiple times with a steel sheet as Al Snow laughs. They fight up the side of the ramp to the tech area to the side and another table which Al Snow breaks the legs of as he drags it around. Roaddogg improvises and stacks it up on a slant against the ring barrier and hip tosses him through it which was nice. They brawl backstage and it's always fun to look out for random wrestlers in the background of these shots but I didn’t see any. Snow uses a hose to soak Roaddogg and then snaps a broom over his back. Snow hits Roaddogg in the face with some potted plants full of soil which MUST have hurt and then drops a bunch of mental pipes onto him. Roaddogg bowls Snow into a bunch of beer kegs and whips him into a stack of security barriers. He tries to blast him with a fire extinguisher but its empty so he just hits Snow with it instead, through a fire door which sets off an alarm. They fight outside and its snowing really heavily! It must be bitterly cold. Both men and the referee struggle to stay on their feet as they slip and slide on the pavement. Roaddogg piledrives Al Snow onto a wooden pallet which snaps and crumples under them to win a very good fun Hardcore championship match in the snow! Roaddogg then jogs back inside, all the way to the ring to collect his Hardcore title belt and celebrate with the crowd! That was great fun. 

• The behind the scenes drama regarding the main event is pretty famous. It's one of the first things that people mention when they talk about the Monday Night Wars. WCW Monday Nitro was Live on this night, and Raw was, amazingly considering it featured a huge title change, pre-taped. Growing increasingly desperate in the ratings war, Eric Bishoff told announcer Tony Shiovanne to give away the results of Raw so that people wouldn’t change the channel. It was something they did a lot in 1995 and 1996 to great effect. Tony sarcastically told the Nitro audience that “tonight Mick Foley who wrestled here as Cactus Jack is going to win their world title. Huh, that’ll put some butts in seats” An amazing thing happened. 400,000 homes changed channels to watch Raw is War. Everyone from the smart grown up fans who respected Mick Foley for his sacrifices to the young fans who loved goofy Mankind and Mr. Socko ALL wanted to see him win the World title. Odds are that Raw would have won that night anyway - Nitro was on a near four month losing streak already - but Eric Bishoff guaranteed it by taking an unfair shot at a man who was beloved by the wrestling masses. 

Raw is War - January 11th, 1999

I Quit

The show opens with D-Generation X who provides an introduction for the NEW WWF Champion Mankind. Mankind comes out to his awesome “wreck” theme song which he finally has. This is peak Mankind. I’m so happy seeing him with the WWF title belt. Michael Cole calls DX Mick’s “adopted family” which I really love but doesn’t last much longer. DX leaves and Mankind goes to the ring solo as we see both McMahon’s watching backstage on a monitor, furious. Mankind says that its about damn time he had a new theme song and points out that his titantron video is entirely composed of clips of him getting his ass kicked but that’s ok because that’s how his entire career has gone. He says that last week was the greatest moment of his career but he didn’t do it alone and wants to tel us a story. He talks about trying to get signed by the WWF for 10 years but they kept rejecting him and he wants to thank Jim Ross for being the man who finally got Vince to sign him. “Get well soon, I want to hear you call a Mankind championship match” That is sadly something we’d never get. He also says he needs to thank DX for watching his back, and Stone Cold Steve Austin (which get a mega pop, they’re in Texas) He says that the tag line for the Royal Rumble is “No chance in hell” but as long as there’s a Mankind in the world, Stone Cold has “one chance in hell” He has one more dream to fufill - to headline the biggest wrestling show in the world, Wrestlemania. He says this is him publicly stating that he wants Austin to win the Royal Rumble so that they can face each other in the main event of Wrestlemania for the WWF Championship. That would be awesome Mick. The Rock along with Mr. McMahon and Shane McMahon interrupt him before he’s able to say any more. Shane calls Mick a disgrace and says that there’s nothing the Corporation can do about all of Mankind’s friends in the crowd or watching at home but they can punish his friends in the WWF. He says that DX will compete in a series of singles matches tonight, but will also take part in a “Corporate Rumble” along with the other members of The Corporation to see who gets the number 30 spot in the Royal Rumble match. The Rock says that Stone Cold is going to pay for what he did last week but continues to call Mankind a disgrace and unworthy and says that the People need The Rock as the WWF champ (he gets booed and “Rocky sucks” chants) He wants a rematch for the WWF title at the Royal Rumble. Mankind says that he’s beat The Rock twice and that Rocky just isn’t championship material. The Rock says that they can make it no DQ. Mankind says no. The Rock offers no count out. Mankind says no. The Rock gets desperate and promises no corporate interference. Mankind still says no. The Rock insinuates that Mankind has no balls. Mankind laughs it off and still says no. The Rock says that he quits trying to convince Mankind to which Mick accepts! An I Quit match at the Royal Rumble with all those same stipulations, but with the added one that there will be no stopping the match for excessive blood loss. The Rock looks pretty concerned now. Vince then books Mankind in a title defence against Kane tonight. That doesn’t make much sense as if he can just book a title defence then why wouldn’t he just make Mankind face The Rock?

Backstage we see Stone Cold and Mankind sharing a laugh which I  really liked. Two of my favourites.

Backstage, Vince reiterates that Kane doesn’t want anyone from the Corporation at ring side for his WWF title match with Mankind. Vince tells him he better bring the title back with him. After the break, Kane enters first for Mankind’s first ever WWF title defence. This is a good match that starts as a brawl with Mankind taking control with the ring steps and then Kane overpowering him in the ring. Mankind takes a stiff shot into the ring steps and then a tombstone. The Rock sprints to the ring to break up the pin and then hammers Kane and Mick with brutal chair shots to the head. Stone Cold runs down but can’t get in the ring as The Rock still has the chair. Mankind jumps him and Austin pounces but The Rock bails out and runs away before either man properly gets their hands on him. Mankind hands Stone Cold the chair, but then Austin drops him with a stunner! And another to Kane! Austin doesn’t give a damn who the champion is, he just wants and needs his title belt back. 

Backstage Vince is upset with The Rock. The Rock calls Kane a “big red retard” but its censored on the WWE Network. He promises to “make that son of a bitch scream I Quit” 

The Corporate Rumble

Training video for Mr. McMahon in the Royal Rumble. He runs through the snow, carries big pieces of wood, chases a moving car and chases a chicken all while Shane shouts encouragement through a bullhorn. There’s some knockoff Rocky music playing over all of this. He takes Vince to a steakhouse and Vince is upset to learn he’s not getting a steak, he's there to practise his boxing with huge sides of beef in the freezer. I loved all of this. Very funny.

Ken Shamrock (in jeans and a t-shirt) enters first for the “Corporate Royal Rumble” Shane McMahon joins the commentators for this. Billy Gunn is the number two entrant. Shamrock is so desperate to get his hands on Gunn he jumps over the top rope eliminating himself, and hammers Billy around ringside into the security wall and ring steps. Billy crawls into the ring but is exhausted after that beating and number three entrant The Big Bossman takes advantage and continues the beating. Number four is supposed to be Roaddogg as The Outlaw’s music plays but instead its Test that runs out. This feels like a big mistake on someone's part. Test and Bossman beat up Billy two on one until number five enters - it’s X-Pac. He tries to even the odds but both Corporate members are much bigger and stronger. Billy Gunn gets hiptossed out by Test and it's now two on one against X-Pac. Number six is Roaddogg who sprints to the ring to help out X-Pac and even the score a little. Number seven is the difference maker - Kane. He very quickly eliminates Roaddogg and X-Pac is all alone against three huge Corporate members which Shane finds very entertaining. It falls apart quickly after the last entrant - Triple H enters. Test accidentally clotheslines Kane who throws him out. X-Pac and Triple H eliminate Kane, and then Bossman tosses X-Pac so it's one on one. As Bossman and Triple H wrestle the apparent real last entrant enters - Vince McMahon looking absolutely massive. He bides his time and then rushes in to show out Triple H and Bossman at once and win. He tears off his vest ala Hulk Hogan thinking he's won but then Chyna enters! The only remaining member of DX. He clocks Patterson and Brisco with forearms when they try to stop her entering the ring and as she has words with Shane at ringside, Stone Cold’s music hits and the crowd come alive for the Rattlesnake. He distracts McMahon and Chyna slides in and dumps the owner over the top rope! Chyna wins the corporate Rumble and is number 30 in the Royal Rumble match. Shane screams about how much he hates Stone Cold as the show ends.

The Ministry of Darkness revealed

Dennis Knight is at ringside after an ad break gibbering nonsense and talking to King and Cole about “He” and “The One” but Cole and King have no idea what he means. Eventually The Acolytes come out and get him. “He is waiting”

The arena is filled with the classic druids chanting song which they’d continue using for the next couple of decades. The Undertaker comes out in the darkened arena and sits on a huge throne. He has new demonic facial hair and talks (without a microphone) about how he cannot be buried and he has returned. He’s pivoted to some real demonic, devil worshipping stuff and has The Acolytes and Paul Bearer (who’s died his hair and moustache jet black again) His monologue promises to destroy all that we hold dear. The plague of Darkness is coming. The Acolytes and Bearer bow their heads like they’re praying during this. After quite a long demonic speech about hell on Earth, The Undertaker slits his own wrist and makes Dennis Knight, who is laid on an altar, drink his blood and rechristens him “Mideon”. This was extreme even for the Attitude era. Lightning strikes The Undertaker’s symbol, setting it on fire to end this bizarre and dark segment. I am amazed that this wasn’t edited off the WWE Network with the wrist slitting and blood drinking. Insane. 

Other Happenings

• The New Age Outlaws vs. Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett. Pre-match, Roaddogg and Billy had a chat about how Chyna might distract them. On Heat last night, Debra managed to help Owen and Jeff defeat the tag team champions, The Big Bossman and Ken Shamrock in a non-title match. This match here is for the number 1 contendership. This is a decent little match until Jeff sends Debra to distract Billy. Chyna stops her and the two argue but it's still enough of a distraction for Owen Hart to roll up Roaddogg. Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett are the number 1 contenders for the tag team titles.
• The debut of Gillberg! They do the march from his locker room, the security guards, the loud pipped in Gillberg chants complete with Michael Cole pointing out the the fans aren’t really chanting. The Light heavyweight champion’s pyro is to stand and mimic Goldberg as the rest of the JOB Squad hold sparklers. He chokes and coughs on the smoke from the pyro too.  Yes, it's a blatant over the top parody of Goldberg by Duane Gill. He doesn’t want to know “who’s next?” he wants to know “who’s first?” His opponent is Luna, who is scheduled to face Sable for the WWF women’s title at the Royal Rumble. She dominates Gillberg until he attempts a jackhammer. He loses balance and Luna lands on top for a near fall. She defeats him in a minute or two with a top rope splash. As she celebrates, a fan rushes the ring and attacks her. It was the same fan who gave Sable a yellow rose a couple of weeks ago. It’s Tori.

• While recapping Shawn Michaels' attack last week on Raw, they show clips from last night on Heat that when in Shawn’s hometown, HBK’s trainer was in the crowd. Vince called him into the ring and he got beaten up by the Corporation. Shawn needs surgery apparently for the injuries sustained last week. In reality it was more surgery for his back.
• Val Venis comes out for a match and after his pre-match promo he spots a pretty blonde in the front row. He goes out to gyrate with her and she’s into it but then Ken Shamrock rushes the ring and brutally attacks Val screaming at him to “leave his sister alone” The young lady is Shamrock’s sister (in real life, his girlfriend which is kinda gross) She’s a terrible actress as she smiles through the whole thing. Billy Gunn then comes out and moons Shamrock’s sister while she smiles and claps. Shamrock runs back to the ring and attacks Mr. Ass until Val Venis saves him. Shamrock’s tag team championship partner helps him out through and they clear Val and Billy out of the ring. Shamrock accepts Billy’s challenge for an Intercontinental Championship match at the Royal Rumble because he wants to hurt him for mooning his sister.

• Al Snow challenges X-Pac for the European title. Goldust stole Head last night on Heat for unknown reasons. Al has sorted himself out though as he no longer has the remnants of the bloodbath all over him. This match is short. Goldust comes out and hits Al with Head and then he takes an X-Factor. X-Pac retains the title. Snow chases after Goldust but then gets hit with Head again. There’s still no reason given for why Goldust has stolen Head or why he’s targeting Al Snow.

• Triple H is accompanied by Chyna for his match with Edge, which is a match that could have main evented Wrestlemania a few years later. This is a good match that goes back and forth until Triple H wins clean with the Pedigree. Before he can celebrate, the lights go out and Gangrel and Christian attack wanting to give Triple H a bloodbath. DX runs in for the save and it’s Hardcore Champion Roaddogg who gets the bloodbath instead. He’s saturated in fake blood.
• D’Lo Brown is accompanied by Terri Runnels and Jacqueline. The commentators are shocked after what happened last week and do confirm that Terri “lost her baby” D’Lo issues an apology and that he’ll do anything to make it up to her but he won’t do what they’re asking of him tonight. She pleads with him and he says he’ll do it. He’s wrestling his best buddy Mark Henry. PMS are still furious at Mark about how their BDSM romance stuff ended a couple of weeks ago. Neither man wants to fight and Terri hits Mark low. Chyna and her friend Sammy come out to the ring again and Chyna shoves Jacqueline so hard her boobs pop out of her top (that’s about the 10th time that’s happened to Jackie since she debuted. Chyna and Sammy help Mark out of the ring and the three leave together, followed distantly by D’Lo Brown. Backstage after a break, Chyna leaves Mark and Sammy alone. Sadly, we’ll find out what happened next, next week.

Raw is War - January 18th, 1999

The Rock gets Vicious

Backstage The Big Bossman is attacking Mankind, hammering him with punches and slamming the back of his head into the door frame which looked really painful. They’re supposed to have a hardcore rules match tonight so Bossman can soften up Mankind for The Rock at the Rumble. Mankind throws Bossman into the camera and we lose the feed.

Another Mankind and Bossman backstage brawl clip as they’ve been fighting this whole time! It ends when we go to a commercial break and when coming back Michael Cole says that they have finally been separated but after a video package about Mankind and The Rock’s I Quit match at the Royal Rumble (the same one from the PPV itself so you’ll see it in that article) Mankind and Bossman come down the entrance ramp already brawling. This officially is a hardcore match which Mr. McMahon setup to soften up Mankind for The Rock. We’re told during this that also at the Royal Rumble, Big Bossman will face Roaddogg in a match that oddly isn’t for Roaddogg’s hardcore championship. I never understood that but I’ll talk about that at the Rumble too. Mankind takes a lot of punishment in this one but as he locks the Mandible Claw on Bossman, The Rock runs in and blasts him in the back of the head with a stiff chairshot. After taking a moment to put on a commentary headset and promise victory at the Royal Rumble drives Mick onto a chair with a Rock Bottom. A much more vicious side of the Corporate Champion. King and Michael Cole’s very cavalier attitude to head trauma and concussions during this is really uncomfortable in hindsight. 

Tonight’s main event is The Rock vs. Kane. This match was made by commissioner Shawn Michaels after The Rock blasted Kane in the head with a chair last week and it's been promoted and talked about all night long. We’ve seen a couple of backstage segments where Vince McMahon has basically told Kane he has to lay down and let Rock pin him. The Rock also called Kane ``retard” again which once again was censored on the WWE Network. The Rock isn’t even dressed to compete for this one, and he has the entire Corporate Team with him. Kane is still really popular with the fans as his story of being an unwilling member of The Corporation is working for him. He could have been WWF Champion last week if not for The Rock. There’s a loud “Rocky sucks’’ chant. They’ve been reminding us all night that Stone Cold is still here tonight. Vince gets on the mic and tells Kane to do the “finger in the chest routine” which is a joke about WCW doing that a couple of weeks ago in their main event which was one of those famous “WCW is really stupid” moments that everyone talks about. Kane gives an unfriendly gesture to Vince and so the Corporation attack him, beating him down five on one (Shane, The Rock, Test, Bossman and Ken Shamrock) The Rock stops them and tells them to leave the ring and continues stomping away. He’s wearing a $500 shirt apparently. Kane is hurting and The Rock works on him and hits a nice DDT but Kane sits up. He's sent to the outside and Rock continues the beating. The Rock takes a moment to get on the commentary headset and manages to call Kane ‘’retard” about four times in 30 seconds and it's censored each time. Kane snatches him around the throat but Rock fights him off and they go back into the ring. Corporate Eyebrow and then the Corporate Elbow but Kane sits up and snatches The Rock by the throat, driving him down with a chokeslam. Test gets on the apron and is chokeslammed inside! Bossman and Shamrock attack Kane and The Corporation beat him down into the corner. Mankind comes running with a steel chair and blasts Test and Bossman as The Rock makes a run for it! Before he can leave, Stone Cold is waiting for him at the top of the ramp and with The Rock caught between Stone Cold and Mankind, takes a chair shot to the back. Raw ends with Vince in the ring staring at Austin who gives him the fingers. 

No Chance in Hell

The show opens with an in ring interview by Michael Cole of Stone Cold Steve Austin. He's still in the same clothes as last week so you know this is pre-taped. King calls this the most star studded Royal Rumble in history which is hilariously, laughably not true. King really hammers home the tag line for the Rumble PPV which is “No chance in hell” Austin is number one in the Rumble. He says that Mick Foley is a deserving and respected champion but he’s going to beat him at Wrestlemania. Austin says that even at number 1 and even with the $100k bounty on him he’s still going to win. He recaps the whole story so far really with commissioner Michaels making Vince number two. Austin promises to beat McMahon’s ass all night long and win the Royal Rumble. Stone Cold drinks beer standing on the commentary desk and spills a bunch of it on King.

Another Vince McMahon training video where he beats up some trainee wrestlers in a training ring with clotheslines and his own version of the Stone Cold Stunner. A couple of them are wearing masks which makes me wonder who they actually are. He reminds us all of the $100k bounty on him. He has “No chance in Hell” of winning the Royal Rumble. “Number 2 in the Rumble, number 1 in your hearts” 

They’d show clips of Stone Cold backstage drinking beer and lying in wait all night long to remind us he’s still in the arena prior to his involvement in the main event above.

The other bit of Royal Rumble build also included Chyna and took place later in the show than the segment I discuss in the section below. Chyna takes on Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco in a handicap match. If any member of DX gets involved then all of DX is out of the Rumble match. Chyna is number 30 in the Royal Rumble and the first woman to ever enter. We had footage of Patterson and Brisco earlier talking strategy and talking about their legit wrestling history. Last night on Heat, Chyna beat Vince in an arm wrestling contest. This is just a comedy match really as Patterson does a low blow which has no effect on Chyna, and Pat and Gerry arguing over who is in charge. Patterson shoves Chyna off the top rope and she takes a rough tumble to the floor. At this point Sable comes out - we assume because of girl power? But before she gets to the ring she’s attacked by Luna with a leather strap. Patterson gets Chyna back in the ring and goes his own version of the Corporate Elbow as Pat laughs. They fight over who gets to pin Chyna and she looks pretty weak as she just lays there, easily able to be pinned. The stooges right, Chyna bangs their heads together but Gerry throws powder in Chyna’s eyes. He and Pat taunt her and Patterson touches Chyna’s breasts. She takes over with a doubles clothesline, beats them up and pins them both at the same time. Chyna has been the most popular member of DX for a while now.

Mark Henry and Chyna

Backstage, Chyna is on her way to the ring to reveal Mark Henrys’ secret. She’d told him he had 24 hours to “come clean” or she’d do it for him. He begs and pleads with her not to reveal anything because he has family here tonight. Chyna makes her way out to the ring after a break to end her storyline with Mark Henry officially in a segment which is very well remembered for all the wrong reasons. Mark comes out and admits and he and Chyna never had sex. She rolls the footage anyway as they show the actress in the front row who’s playing Mark Henry’s mother. The footage is of Mark with Sammy last week. Sammy locked the door, the two got a little intimate, Mark realises that Sammy has a penis and runs off to vomit while Sammy reveals that yes, Sammy is a man. Back in the arena, Chyna low blows Mark and leaves as Henry goes out to be consoled by his mom.

Its easy to call this segment classless and trashy and poorly conceived and offensive now 20+ years later in a modern society but I can confirm that everyone hated this at the time too. This was peak Russo, and sadly as this made so much headline grabbing news, he’d get more and more control over the product in the first half of 1999.

Other Happenings

• This Raw also has the debut of the famous WWF Attitude Superbowl commercial! Here it is, plus some cool behind the scenes stuff

• Roaddogg defends his Hardcore title against Gangrel after the bloodbath last week. Roaddogg says he’s no Buffy but he’s going to slay a vampire tonight. Gangrel will also face X-Pac for the European title at the Rumble itself. This match is the debut of the pre-match graphic for the Hardcore title where the word “hardcore” falls on and crushes the word “championship” which gives me a big bang of nostalgia. This match is nothing special but features some nice tables spots with Gangrel powerbombing Roaddogg through one in the ring for a two count and Roaddogg with some innovative offence using another on the outside. An elbow off the apron doesn’t break the table, and then a leg drop causes a sort of half-break. He hip tosses Gangrel onto it which smashes half and then finally a suplex onto the wreckage properly breaks it at last. Very cool. Roaddogg wins with a diving chairshot to the head off the apron.

• Bad Ass Billy Gunn vs. Test. This match goes for a few minutes but ends in disqualification when Ken Shamrock attacks his challenger for the Royal Rumble. He slams him off the apron onto the announce table and sends him into the ring steps. He tortures him with an ankle lock and then grabs the time keeper's bell hammer but before he can use it, referees surround Mr. Ass and protect him. He sells his ankle and is in intense pain. 

• Kevin Kelly interviews Jeff Jarrett and Owen Hart. They’ve beaten The Brood, The New Age Outlaws and the tag champs themselves in a non-title match and next week they’ll make it official and win the WWF Tag Team titles. They’re jumped by the Tag Team Champions - The Big Bossman and Ken Shamrock (who’s having a busy night!)
• Dan Severn refereed a Lion’s Den match between Owen Hart and Steve Blackman on Heat last week. To everyone’s surprise he attacked Steve Blackman rather than the man who injured him, Owen Hart. He’s facing Steve Blackman here. Blackman takes control with throws and kicks and Severn ends this early with a low blow right in front of the referee to cause a DQ. He then locks in his Dragon Sleeper until the referee pulls him off. 
• Al Snow vs. Goldust. Last night on Heat, Snow dressed up as one of the Godfather’s hoes and snuck to ringside during his match with Goldust to try and get Head back but failed. Goldust comes out here with Head wearing makeup matching Goldust’s. Al Snow wins with a rollup and officially regains Head but sore loser Goldust attacks him giving him Shattered Dreams and then hammering him with Head a few times. I’m not sure when or why Goldust turned heel but he hasn’t cut a promo or anything in a while either. Much like with Regal a couple of months ago, this is Dustin Runnels at a personal low and struggling with substance abuse.
• Mideon runs to the ring still in the red robe he wore during the blood drinking ceremony last week to spread the good word of The Undertaker. The Undertaker himself comes out to sit on the same big throne as last week. He talks about society forgetting all about Dennis Knight and now like the rest of the Ministry, he has an everlasting life as Mideon. Our simple minds won’t believe who the next recruit will be, apparently.