Smackdown - January 3rd 2002

Austin bloodied and a new Number One Contender

Vince McMahon comes down to the ring and after telling us about how he was almost Time Magazine’s person of the year, gets irked by the fan’s WHAT chants and starts shutting down the arena lights, threatening to cancel the show entirely if they don’t stop. They don’t and with the arena in total darkness, the glass shatters to signal the arrival of Stone Cold Steve Austin! The lights come back on and he’s right behind him. Stone Cold leads more WHAT chants and says Vince is the jackass of the year! Austin shares his own resolutions - to drink a lot more beer WHAT vodka WHAT, tequila WHAT wine WHAT and other alcohols, and also to knock Vince McMahon on his ass.

Before he can do so, Booker T and the Bossman arrive and attack the Rattlesnake, beating him down two on one much to the cheering of Vince at ringside. Bossman uses the microphone as a weapon which sounds awesome and opens Stone Cold up, bleeding as the beating continues. It feels like it goes on forever honestly but after a final kick to the head by Booker T, his music plays to signal the end of the segment. Later in the show, Michael Cole and King confirmed that pieces of metal and wire from the microphone actually stuck into Austin’s head and he had to be taken to a local hospital.

Backstage, Stephanie McMahon-Helmlsey tries to get access to the arena but is denied entry be a security guard. She’s not on the list. She loses her temper as he continues to refuse her entry and says that in four days when her husband Triple H returns on Raw, she will be in a position of extreme power and will make him pay for this. Stepyhanie returned later in the show with WWF Hall of Famer James Dudley in a wheelchair. He is on the list so he’s allowed in but Stephanie still isn’t. The security gets someone to take Mr. Dudley inside but he still refuses to let her in. She starts to flirt with him instead but he’s also not interested in that either - he’s gay!

As if on cue, Billy and Chuck arrive and are on a first name basis with him. He says they should bring out a calendar and he’d buy it! This was funny stuff. To the surprise of no one, King acts in shock that there is an honest to God gay person in the arena and is vaguely homophobic about it for the rest of the night, bringing it up unpromoted multiple times. And you wonder why I hate him so much? 

Backstage, Ric Flair arrives at the arena and is greeted by his old buddy Arn Anderson. He breaks the news of what Vince did earlier tonight with Booker and Bossman, hospitalising Stone Cold.

Flair heads straight down to the ring to address McMahon and his actions personally. He asks Vince who he thinks he is, and why he thinks he can act like a wrestler. He starts to cut a passionate promo about how he’s going to kick Vince’s ass when he’s interupted by Stephanie McMahon who has fought her way through the crowd to ringside. She’s detained by security but Ric tells them to let her into the ring to talk to him. Steph sucks up to Flair, saying she’s a huge fan and that she even had a crush on him when she was a kid! She talks about how much respect she has for him as a wrestler but says he has no idea how to be a businessman and how to deal with her father. She calls herself the man, and he takes off his jacket and starts to strut around, hitting the ropes and dropping elbows and knees. He asks if she wants a shot at the title, so she slaps him and tells him to get serious! He needs her on his side. She says he has four days to decide if he wants her on his side or not because on Monday when Triple H returns whether he wants her there or not, she will be back and The Game will begin! 

In the McMahon office, Bossman asks his boss whether he’s concerned about Flair bringing in Stephanie to help him. Vince is more concerned about where Flair has been all night and what other business he might have been taking care of before arriving tonight. Booker T joins them and Vince pumps him up for his main event - a match which was promoted all throughout the show. He tries to get over his own catchphrase, shouting WHO in between Vince and Bossman’s sentences. 

The main event is Booker T vs. The Rock with huge stakes - the winner will face Chris Jericho for the Undisputed WWF Championship at the Royal Rumble. In a nice throwback to simpler times, Jonathan Coachman interviews The Rock backstage before the match and he gets all his catchphrases in, making the crowd (and me) laugh making fun of Coach and his taste in music. He likes Barry Manilow. 

Coming off back to back (dubious) wins over Stone Cold and having laid him out earlier Booker is on the roll of a lifetime. It’s a shame that the idea of a heel vs. heel main event at the Royal Rumble is so unlikely otherwise this match could be his too. The Rock opens up by laying the smack down with lots of punches. These two worked together a lot in August and September and have good chemistry. The Rock has control which brings Vince to ringside, giving The Rock a low blow which leads to a Booker T Scissors Kick. The Rock kicks out. He scores a DDT which gets Vince involved again, pulling the referee out of the ring to stop the count. That’s too much for Ric Flair and he rushes the ring, throwing Vince into the ring steps and then over the security wall! McMahon runs away and Flair chases him through the crowd away from the ring. Back In the ring, The Rock scores a spinebuster but his People’s Elbow is stopped by the Big Bossman. How much help does Booker T need? It’s not enough as after knocking down Bossman accidentally, he walks into a Rock Bottom and The Rock is the number one contender.

He pays for the victory though as Bossman gets in the ring and drills him with a Bossman slam. The two start beating on The Rock as the fans loudly chant for Austin to save the day and with a bandage on his head, the Rattlesnake returns to do just that! Austin beats the hell out of Booker sending him to the outside and focuses his venom on Bossman who did most of the damage earlier with that microphone. Booker T puts an end to it with a steel chair to the head and is the last man standing, leaving both Stone Cold and the new number one contender down and out in the ring to end Smackdown. 

Huge Hardcore Match

Jonathan Coachman interviews the Hardcore Champion The Undertaker and asks why he ran away from The Big Show last week. He’s lucky he didn’t get a beating for that, but Taker says he was just psyching Show out and this week in their hardcore title match he’ll demolish him.

That match is next and after Taker does a lap of the ring and looks like he might just leave again, Show chases him up the ramp and forcibly drags him off the bike and back to the ring. Big Show, a former Hardcore Champion in his own right, throws a bunch of weapons into the ring and he and Undertaker trade trash can shots. Big Show takes one to the head and no-sells it, which got a big reaction. This feels like a decent point to discuss where it seems like this Undertaker story is going but, as far as I’m aware, doesn’t. The commentary team have continually told us that Kane won’t comment on his brother’s recent heel turn and actions and with all this talk of Undertaker needing to pick on someone his own size, it seems likely that Kane will step up to stop his brother. Now I have no interest in that even in a Hardcore match - they’ve wrestled about 40 times in the past four years - but it would be logical. Taker works on Show’s knee but gets cocky and walks into a desperation chokeslam which looks great! Too much time passes before he gets the cover so Taker kicks out. Big Show teases a Last Ride but Undertaker uses a low blow and locks in the same  dragon sleeper he used on Tajiri last week - now known as the Taker Care of Business - for a submission victory. This wasn’t very long but is probably the most entertaining Big Show match we’ve seen for a while.

Jericho searches for allies

In their locker room, Test, Lance Storm and European Champion Christian are assembled by the Undisputed Champion Chris Jericho. He tells them all that they’ve looked so good lately and that they’re the best buddies he could ask for! He gives each of them a gift, but Christian asks if the real reason he needs help and back up is because of the return of Triple H? Jericho seems a little nervous, but shakes that off and says no - they’re just his best friends! He continues to suck up to his three fellow Canadians and drops hints about watching each other’s backs.

Kurt Angle teams with the Undisputed WWF Champion Chris Jericho against Rob Van Dam and the Intercontinental Champion Edge. Y2J and Angle isolate RVD and use quick tags in and out to wear him down. Van Dam blocks a superplex attempt and shoves Kurt into the ring, following with a Five Star Frog Splash and that gives him a chance to tag out to Edge. It breaks down from there and there’s a flurry of finishers with Edge using Kurt’s ankle lock. Jericho missing the Lionsault and Edge hitting both a spear and Educution DDT. Angle drops Edge with an Angle Slam allowing Jericho to steal another pin he didn’t earn. Jericho and Angle won a short match which was all action and so couldn’t fail to be good. 

Other Happenings

• It feels weird starting a Preview with a Smackdown but that's how the dates fall. The first broadcast of 2002 and a very rare Live episode of Smackdown. The opening match is The Dudley Boyz defending the WWF Tag Team titles against the unlikely duo of Tazz and Spike Dudley who scored what most would consider to be an upset win last week in a non-title match. Bubba and D-Von attack and double team Spike before Tazz even makes his entrance but he sprints down to make the save and start the match properly. Stacy tries her weekly “distraction but then gets sexually assaulted instead” spot but D-Von catches her when Spike knocks her off the apron. Sadly an awesome looking sit down powerbomb off the top rope by Bubba to Spike ends their tag team title hopes.
• Lillian Garcia interviews the newest signee, Jazz. Lillian gives her lots of praise about how tough she is and how much she’s heard about her but Jazz cuts her off and is quite nasty about it. She says she doesn’t sleep her way to the top like all the other women in the WWF, she fights her way to the top. She says no one can stop her and she’ll start with Mighty Molly tonight. Lillian actually tries to praise her for her attitude but then Jazz grabs her wrist and says maybe she’ll make an example out of her tonight instead. Rude.

• Jazz vs. Mighty Molly is a short and vicious match. Jazz wastes no time and spikes Molly with a brainbuster for the win.
• Later, as Test walks past Torrie Wilson he re-gifts the Undisputed Champion’s present (it was a Chris Jericho t-shirt) and hits on her but when she says no and mentions her boyfriend Tajiri, Test gets angry and says he’ll kick Tajiri’s ass later.
• After a recap of Test bullying and intimidating Hurricane and Mighty Molly on Sunday Night Heat, then being assaulted by Rikishi and cost his match with The Hurricane, we get Test vs. Tajiri (with Torrie Wilson) Test’s gimmick as an obnoxious ladies man who isn’t really a ladies man is making him all kinds of enemies. Tajri is awesome, using the Tarantula and side stepping a Big Boot to connect with a stiff kick of his own for a near fall. He catches him with the second Big Boot and Test wins over the Cruiserweight Champion. 

Raw - January 7th 2002

Time to Play the Game

Backstage Jonathan Coachman awaits the arrival of Triple H. He’s interrupted by Kurt Angle who seems outraged that everyone is so excited to see him. He says he can’t even be bothered to be here on time, and says HE’s the one with the big announcement. He refuses to tell Coach and says to tell Triple H that tonight is Kurt’s night.

Backstage, Kurt Angle complains to his buddy Christian about what a big deal everyone is making about Triple H’s return. Christian mentions U2 records, which is a reference to the Beautiful Day song which was used for Triple H’s return videos but since they’ve been cut off the WWE Network versions of the show the segment ends abruptly which makes me think they cut something out. 

Backstage, Big Show discusses Triple H’s return with Torrie Wilson and Tajiri. She’s never met him but she’s excited to. Kurt Angle walks in and continues to complain about the attention he’s getting. He makes some good points, reminding him that Triple H made life miserable for everyone back in the day but everyone is acting like a bunch of teenagers at a Ricky Martin concert, which got a laugh from the crowd.

In the main event segment, Triple H returns after an eight month absence. This is still really fondly remembered even 20+ years later and he gets an absolutely deafening response from the crowd. I probably can’t do justice to the segment so here’s a video of it;

As a recap, Triple H starts to remind us who he is. Before he gets much further he’s cut off by Kurt Angle. Of note, the fans actually chant “you suck” in time with his music which is standard for the next 20+ years but this is the first time a crowd has done it! Kurt asks The Game who the hell he is, and says he’s here to make his far more important announcement - he will be entering the 2002 Royal Rumble match, and winning it. Amazingly, this is Kurt’s first ever Rumble match appearance. He reminds us that he wasn’t in the Rumble last year because he was busy beating Triple H in a WWF title match. The Game has heard enough and tackles the Olympian and beats the hell out of him with punches and stomps. I do want to mention that Triple H returned more muscular than ever - he’s gigantic! Kurt puts up a good fight with a german suplex but pays for it with Triple H’s new trademark move - an odd choice for a babyface - a running choke! He spikes Angle with a Pedigree and the fans go nuts! It’s a good return, but it strikes me as funny that in later years they’d have just kept him off TV for three more weeks and had him return as a surprise entrant in the Royal Rumble match. In 2002, PPV buy rates mattered however and so preannouncing his return might have added some more viewers to the number - it's just business, ironically something Triple H would really appreciate. The important news is that Triple H is back and also in the Royal Rumble match.

The Dirtiest Owner in the game

The show itself opens with Mr. McMahon walking to the ring carrying a large gift wrapped blue box. He’s sporting a lovely black eye presumably from one of the punches to the face his co-owner and Royal Rumble opponent Ric Flair gave him on Smackdown. Vince says that what he wants to talk about is bigger than Triple H’s return tonight - his match with Ric Flair. He says that Flair is not worthy of being in the ring with him. He shows a bunch of footage of Ric in the NWA and WCW, mostly from the 80s and early 90s. He picks up victory after victory and wins championship after championship. That does track. It’s very distracting that on my version of this event whatever song was used for this montage in reality has been loudly dubbed by a generic production track. Vince does at least give Ric credit for having had one of the greatest wrestling careers of all time but he wasn’t satisfied and debuted as his 50/50 partner in November. He continues the recap of their feud so far - leaving out all the times he attacked Ric and where he was the villain of course - and says that he’s going to prove that he’s The Man and digs into the gift wrapped box he brought to the ring. It contains a Ric Flair wig and robe and after dressing up as The Nature Boy (with some difficulty, he struggles to get his arms into the robe) struts around the ring until he’s interrupted by the real thing - Ric Flair.

Flair gets angry and fires up and tells McMahon that he better never make fun of him or get in his face again. “I’m Ric Flair and you’re not!” and he slaps the wig off Vince’s face and barks at him to take off his robe before he kicks his ass all over Manhattan. Vince compliles…but he has a steel pipe hidden in the robe and he cheap shots his co-owner with it, splitting his head open! A bloody Flair flails as Vince stamps on his robe and taunts him and parades him around the ring to show his bloody face to everyone before throwing him out of the ring! After beating the bleeding Flair up around the ringside, throwing him into the steps and ring post, Vince struts away proud of himself.

Dream Team

Michael Cole is excited to be in MSG but his guest - Stone Cold Steve Austin - is less enthusiastic, cutting him off with WHAT after WHAT. The Rattlesnake has three things to talk about. His first is about Triple H who he doesn’t wish any luck but admires him from coming back from a big injury which is hard to do and he can’t wait to face him in the ring (something they’d never do again), the second thing is that he is entering the 2002 Royal Rumble and says he’s going to throw a man WHAT and another WHAT and another WHAT and another WHAT over and over and win the Royal Rumble. He might have actually said it 29 times! The final thing he wants to talk about is MSG - tonight he teams up with The Rock against Bossman and Booker T and says he and Rocky are going to open up a big can of whoop ass tonight. This was, as all Austin promos are, fantastic. An’ that's the bottom line cuz Stone Cold said so! 

Booker T and the Big Bossman face the dream team of The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin. Bossman has switched back to his late 90s hardcore champion era ring gear from the suit, which is my favourite look for him. In New York city in early 2002, its one of the few places where Stone Cold Steve Austin still gets a bigger reaction than The Rock. Both men are beloved but it does my soul good to hear Austin get that epic, 1998 peak roar from the audience. The two biggest stars of all time start aggressive and attack Bossman and Booker on the outside to start this match. Thanks to a cheap shot with his night tick, Bossman and Booker get control of The Rock and isolate him in their corner. Austin tags in and is like a runaway chainsaw, hammering Bossman and Booker with punches, knocking Booker out of the ring and dropping Bossman with a Stunner to pick up the victory. The Rattlesnake rules. Austin calls for some beers and offers one to The Rock and the pair of them toast their victory. With an Undisputed title match at the PPV and Stone Cold looking for his 4th Rumble match victory, will this be the Wrestlemania main event for the third time? 

Underdog Champions!

Before their Tag Team Championship match under hardcore rules tonight, Bubba Ray and D-Von try to intimidate the challengers, Spike Dudley and Tazz. Bubba says Tazz forgot where he came from. Tazz says tonight he’ll show them where they all come from by getting extreme and taking their Tag titles here in the Garden. That match is next and the crowd are VERY into it. New York was a long time ECW hotbed so a big chunk of the fans in attendance will be very familiar with these four men and their histories. They brawl with fire extinguishers and trash cans as the fans chant for tables. The match is almost ruined by King talking endlessly about Stacy Keibler and how much he’s looking forward to the wet t-shirt contest. I miss Paul Heyman more than ever. Tazz and Spike weather the storm and there’s some creative moving around the table to stop it being used by the other team. An attempted distraction by Stacy backfires and gets Bubba’s attention allowing Tazz to suplex Bubba onto the table. It doesn’t break so Spike follows up with a Dudley Dog through it and Spike covers for a huge upset! Tazz and Spike Dudley are the new WWF Tag Team Champions! 

Other Happenings

• The first Raw of the year is in Madison Square Garden in New York City. Maybe it’s just me buying into the WWF’s propaganda for years but there is something a little special about wrestling when it's in MSG. 
• The opening match is Rob Van Dam - as popular as ever - against Test whom everyone hates. Van Dam has no problems with Test but as he prepares for a Five Star Frog Splash, Test kicks the referee into the ropes which knows RVD down. Test almost steals the pin with a roll up with his foot on the ropes and argues with referee Tim White after Rob kicks out. A frustrated Test gets a steel chair but that’s his undoing as RVD spin kicks it right back into his face followed by a Five Star Frog Splash and that’s enough to pick up the victory. 
• Live at WWF New York, WWF Women’s Champion Trish Stratus is in the house to host. She’s cut off by the host of Axxes Terri. She took that job from Trish as she moves towards being a full time wrestler. They argue over who’s the more talented host and more athletic. Terri challenges Trish (who seemingly mocks WWF’s creative speculating it’ll be a bra and panties match of a mud wrestling match). It turns out to be much worse - a wet t-shirt contest later tonight.

• Billy and Chuck head down to the ring and say that if anyone should be having a wet t-shirt contest tonight it should be them because of their fabulous physiques! Before they can continue to strut their stuff they’re cut off by their opponents, Scotty 2 Hotty and Albert. JR and King exchange vaguely homophobic jokes about Billy and Chuck with their matching gear and headbands. There’s some miscommunication between Chuck and Billy and Scotty almost wins with the Worm but a superkick to Albert and a Fameasser on Scotty gives the fancy boys another victory. They’re on quite the roll!
• Sharmell interviews Undisputed Champion Chris Jericho. He takes great joy in what Vince did to Ric at the start of the show as he hates Flair both for giving The Rock a chance to face him at the Royal Rumble and for booking him in a non-title match with Rikishi tonight.
• Edge defends his WWF Intercontinental Championship against Lance Storm. He is a former IC champion in his own right. In fact, Edge beat him for it. Edge wins a very short match with an Edgecution DDT but as he leaves he’s attacked by William Regal who is apparently over the worst of his broken nose. He lays out Edge with a stiff left handed punch using his brass knuckles. The Intercontinental Champion is out cold as referees check on him.

• In a non-title match, Undisputed WWF Champion Chris Jericho faces the 400lbs Rikishi with the looming threat of a Stinkface in the champion’s future. Rikishi dominates but referee Nick Patrick inserts himself, getting in Rikishi’s way. He pays for it as Rikishi kicks Jericho back into the ref, knocking him down in the corner. He gets a Stinkface but Jericho takes advantage with a shot to the head with the WWF title belt to steal the victory. Nick Patrick was always a corrupt referee in WCW and it seems that here in the WWF he continues to be, in the employ of Vince McMahon and his chosen few. 

• At ringside, King pumps up a super soaker and says he’s heading over to WWF New York to emcee the wet t-shirt contest later. They’re determined to make me not enjoy that.

• Hardcore Champion The Undertaker has some words for Triple H. In a pre-recorded interview he talks about all the hype and how excited everyone is to see him. He says the people don’t respect him because they don’t respect The Undertaker. All these people want is blood and pain and tells him to enjoy his big night back but don’t forget who runs the yard, before declaring that he’ll be in the Royal Rumble match. 
• Terri and Trish Stratus have made their way to the arena from WWF New York for the wet t-shirt contest. Jerry Lawler is in the ring with a super soaker filled with ice water, apparently. This is portrayed as being for the WWF Women’s Championship as well. If Vince Russo was still in charge, Terri would win the title here. Terri gets hosed down and parades around in what looked like quite a thick pink t-shirt - you couldn’t see much. Once it’s Trish’s turn, she’s attacked from behind by Jazz who beats Trish up until King rescues her. Jazz actually hits King too but he no-sells it and intimidates her out of the ring.

Smackdown - January 10th 2002

Royal Rumblings

Before the Smackdown intro, the wives of two Royal Rumble participants have a “my husband can kick your husband’s ass” conversation backstage. Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley has a backstage pass because Triple H is back, and after she smugly walks away Debra says that NO one can kick her husband’s ass (Stone Cold Steve Austin, for those of you who have forgotten)

From there, after the Smackdown Intro, SMH heads down to the ring - it seems a backstage visitor’s pass gets you a full entrance with theme song and the right to go down to the ring for a big promo segment. It was nice not having her on TV every week the last couple of months but honestly I’m happy to see her because it means I get to hear My Time. Still think that’s Triple H’s best theme song. Also she is very pretty, I guess. She tries to get a cheap pop, hyping up the return of her husband but the crowd is too busy screaming WHAT at her to listen. She does draw boos by saying that Triple H never would have been a success and a four time WWF Champion without her. She is technically right because so is Kurt - everyone is forgetting what a sneaky evil heel he was. The McMahon-Helmsley era was only 18 months ago. She repeats herself a couple of times - the Game is BACK and she’s the Game’s wife. She says Triple H will do whatever she says and threatens to point her finger at Ric Flair so that her husband can take him out. She talks for long enough that security comes down to get her so she wraps things up - Triple H is back and so is she!

Lillian Garcia interviews Kurt Angle who talks about how he’s in his first Royal Rumble and is going to win it. He gets incredibly angry about the continuous WHAT chants between his words and is still very riled up about Triple H on Raw too. He even tries calmly asking the fans nicely to stop WHATing him and blames Stone Cold for starting all of this. He says if they do it one more time he’ll challenge Austin to a match tonight and kick his butt - they obviously don’t stop so we have a main event! 

In the main event of Smackdown, Kurt Angle takes on Stone Cold Steve Austin. I mentioned it on Raw but the New York fans have started chanting You Suck in time to Kurt Angle’s music. They seem to have come up with that on their own, and of course it has become very much “his thing” but I'm interested to see if it sticks around without another wrestler encouraging it. These two had some awesome matches all through late 2001 so hopefully this gets a bit of time. They have been promoting an appearance by Triple H all night who we haven’t seen yet so I feel like there is more to come.

They start with a slow feeling out process and lock up and exchange holds, backing off. Full credit to them for giving the New York fans a PPV worthy main event. Austin has the advantage when brawling on the outside but with some technical wrestling expertise and an undetected low block, the Olympic hero takes control and in an amazing twist actually hits his awesome looking moonsault from the top rope. The Rattlesnake kicks out but is put in the ankle lock. Austin rolls through it into a pin attempt which breaks the hold and avoids an Angle slam and hits a Stunner!

Before he can cover, Kane’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring to the confusion of everyone. Kane spikes Stone Cold with a chokeslam! What the hell? Kurt looks happy to see him…until he gets a chokeslam of his own! This is how Kane announces that he too will be in the Royal Rumble match. He cues up his pyro and that brings out The Big Show, also apparently announcing his entry. The big men start to trade blows Show plants Kane with a chokeslam and that brings out Triple H. He stands face to face with Show and with a low blow and Pedigree, spikes him in the middle of the ring. Triple H stands tall and turns to see Hardcore Champion The Undertaker watching on from the top of the ramp. It’s certainly a star studded Royal Rumble match!

Rumble Returns

Throughout the episode they show us videos promoting the return of various talents for the Royal Rumble match - Val Venis, Goldust, The Godfather and Mr. Perfect. Val and Godfather have been off TV since the end of the Right to Censor and missed the entire Invasion, but Goldust and Mr. Perfect are newcomers from WCW (who also missed the entire Invasion).

Rock’s Momentum

The Rock and Rob Van Dam take on Test and the Undisputed WWF Champion Chris Jericho. Jericho immediately tags out to Test, wanting no part of his PPV challenger The Rock but does distract him to allow Test to try and get the early advantage. RVD and Test are both presumably in the Rumble match but it hasn’t been officially announced. Its chaotic with all four guys tagging in and out and all getting their shot to shine. The Rock spikes Jericho with a Rock Bottom but fortunately for him, Test is there to break up the pin. With the referee distracted getting Test out of the ring, Y2J clocks The Rock with the WWF title belt. RVD takes him out with a spinner heel kick and with Test and Van Dam fighting outside and into the crowd, Rock and Jericho are both down on the inside leaving this as basically one on one. A short back and forth ends with a spinebuster, a sharpshooter and Chris Jericho tapping out to his Royal Rumble challenger! Huge momentum for The Rock ahead of the PPV.

Later in the show, Jonathan Coachman interviews The Rock about his big victory and how he’s feeling about his match with Chris Jericho. The Rock says that the Royal Rumble will end the same way - Jericho getting his ass whooped and The Rock going on to Wrestlemania as the Undisputed WWF Champion! The countdown is on to the end of Jericho’s title reign - tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. If Ya smell…etc.

McMahon gets Personal

Jim Ross interviews Mr. McMahon backstage. A nice sit down “earlier today” interview. JR opens up asking about Triple H’s return and how he and Vince’s relationship is affected by his being estranged from his daughter. Vince refuses to discuss his personal life and tells JR to focus on Ric Flair like they agreed. JR is honest and calls Vince’s actions on Raw reprehensible and plays the footage before getting Vince’s reaction to it. Vince takes issue with calling his actions unprovoked. He bought Shane and Stephanie’s stock like an underhanded businessman, he challenged him to a match and he gave him the black eye that he’s still sporting. He needed seven stitches. Vince says it wasn’t unprovoked, Flair deserved what he got and says it’ll be even worse for him at the Royal Rumble. JR says he’s known Ric even longer than he’s known Vince and he’s the dirtiest player in the game so he better be ready for that. Vince gets sinister and tells JR he doesn’t know a damn thing about him and that there’s almost more beneath the surface. That’s especially dark considering what came out about Vince in the 2020s. He wants Ric’s family to be at the Rumble and in the front row. He says it turns him on to destroy lives and that's what he’s going to do.

Other Happenings

• Backstage, European Champion explains to Lance Storm that with such an easy to beat team like Tazz and Spike Dudley as the tag team champions they’ll never have a better chance to win them! That leads straight into Tazz and Spike’s first title defence against the Canadians. This is a good match as Christian and Lance isolate Spike but after a hot tag to Tazz, a Tazzmission on Christian lets them retain the titles. Before they can properly celebrate they’re jumped from behind by the former champions - sore losers Bubba and D-Von. Tazz fights them off with a suplex allowing him and Spike to escape and grab their titles leaving The Dudleyz seething in the ring.

• Backstage Booker T tries to brush his teeth in the bathroom but reacts with disgust to the comedy fart noises coming from one of the cubicles. It’s Rikishi and that leads to a challenge later. Booker reacts in horror to the idea of a stinkface later after witnessing all of that.
• Booker T vs. Rikishi with the main selling point being King wondering aloud if Rikishi properly wiped his ass after using the bathroom earlier. Jesus. Rikishi gives Booker a stinkface and the five time WCW Champion rolls out of the ring and vomits all over Michael Cole! He gags himself and leaves ringside as King laughs hysterically at his announcing partner’s misfortune. Rikishi dances and I guess he wins via countout? I hated all of this. After a commercial break, JR has replaced Cole for the rest of the show.

• Backstage as Booker tries to settle his stomach in the bathroom he’s joined by another former WCW Champion, the returning Diamond Dallas Page. DDP continues his happy go lucky motivational speaker gimmick as with a big smile he explains that him getting a stinkface isn’t a bad thing, its a good thing. It’s a good thing it didn’t happen to DDP!

• Edge defends the Intercontinental Championship against The Big Bossman. It does still feel kind of wild seeing Bossman being featured and even pushed in 2002! Edge retains the title with the Edgeuction and while he celebrates, William Regal appears on the titantron. He congratulates Edge on his victory and tells him that he cost him a lot of blood and three surgeries on his nose and says he’s an Englishmen, and they are the more evil, sadistic, barbaric men in history. He challenges Edge to a match for the Intercontinental title at the Royal Rumble. Edge makes some jokes about Regal stuffing things down his pants to win matches (he means the brass knuckles) and ends on a crack about noses and smelling him “reeking of awesomeness”. Edge is popular but pretty lame as a babyface. 

Raw - January 14th 2002

A Lead Pipe Beating

Raw opens with one of the co-owners Ric Flair live in the arena. He talks about the rich, storied history of Dallas Texas (where Raw is) and mentions a couple of his own big moments in the area. He says he’ll make history again at the Royal Rumble against Vince McMahon. He has been humbled and left bloody by the Great Mr. McMahon and asks for replays of Vince making fun of him, bloodying him and his comments on Smackdown about getting off on ruining Ric’s life. He says Vince has him all pumped up and he’s sick of Vince’s abuse of power and he’s going to abuse his own power by making their Royal Rumble match a Street Fight! He takes off his jacket and bumps around the ring, dropping elbows on the microphone and calls Vince McMahon out right now! It’s not McMahon who comes out, it's the Undisputed WWF Champion Chris Jericho. He says there was a time when the company didn’t revolve around the owner - it revolve around the champion! The entire WWF revolves around Chris Jericho. He can barely get a word out from “Jericho sucks” chants and WHATs from the fans. He talks pretty endlessly about how great he is and how Flair doesn’t have it anymore. He turns his attention to making fun of the Texans in the crowd and mocks President George Bush which gets him a lot of boos from the deeply Republican crowd in Bush’s native Texas. He tells Flair that he’ll choke at the Royal Rumble and after a very very long pause, Flair punches Jericho in the face and lights up the champion’s chest with chops!

He gives Jericho a pair of low blows and locks him in the figure four! Before he can do too much damage, Vince runs down and clocks Ric in the back of the head with a steel pipe just like last week. He and Jericho taunt Flair and as Vince winds up for a big punt kick down low, Flair blocks it and fights back. Jericho holds Ric in position allowing Vince to hit him in the ribs with the pipe, and he accepts the challenge to make their match a street fight at the Royal Rumble.

During the next commercial break, Vince ran outside, hopped in his limo and made a quick getaway after that mugging of Ric Flair.

Stand By Your Man

Out in the parking lot, a long white limo containing Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley arrives. As she gets out, she whines about the poor directions to whoever is inside. It’s Triple H, who rolls his eyes and seems a little sick of his wife already now that they’re reunited on TV. He tells her to calm down and take a walk or something. 

The Undertaker arrives on his motorbike as King and JR speculate on what the Hardcore Champion will have to say, and to whom.

Debra arrives at the arena and runs into Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley and like on Smackdown they have another disagreement about who’s husband could beat whos. They start to shove each other and it turns nasty as they exchange BIG slaps, and then attack, pulling at each other’s hair and rolling around on the ground. Mrs. Triple H and Mrs. Stone Cold have come to serious blows! Referees manage to get them apart but an angry Debra slaps one of them in the face too! How will their husbands react to this?

In their locker room, Stephanie whines to her husband about Debra and just won’t stop until he snaps and tells her to shut up! He doesn’t need this distraction. She gets his attention by telling him the fight started because she said Austin could kick his ass. He says he’s kicked his ass before and he’ll do it again and warns the Rattlesnake not to get in his way in the Royal Rumble.

Michael Cole interviews Stone Cold Steve Austin who is as fun as ever leading the fans through WHAT after WHAT telling a story about how last night he was the most amazing rodeo rider of all time at a bar, and then threw everyone out the door as practice for the Royal Rumble. He addresses Triple H too - they disagree about who would kick whos ass, and they disagree about who is going to win the Royal Rumble. He praises Triple H and how good he is but doesn’t matter how big and jacked and in shape he is, it won’t save his ass from Stone Cold Steve Austin. Austin says his strategy is his big beer belly - a low centre of gravity means no one can throw him out of the ring! I loved this - Austin steals the show every week. Michael Cole had a really hard time keeping a straight face during any of this.

Backstage in the McMahon-Helmsley locker room, Triple H paces angrily on the spot. It seems that he’s keen to get physical with someone tonight and maybe a little bothered by what Austin said. He goes to the ring and tells Stephanie to stay in the back. She continues to look more than a little bothered that her husband is being cold with her. 

Triple H makes his way down to the ring and takes so long with his entrance that his theme song actually loops, just like it did last week. I think he’s enjoying being back and being a good guy now. He says that last week everyone roared for him out of respect for his return but says that his return is not complete - his return is not over until he wins the WWF Championship and that starts with winning the Royal Rumble. For some reason he frames all of this as having a go at JR at ringside for saying the return is complete. Alright mate, don’t be so literal. He wants to be the best and he’s back to be the best. He gets some boos when he says he's going to win the Royal Rumble. Based on all the WHATs I suspect that's because the fans want to see the Rattlesnake win Royal Rumble number 4. Triple H quotes the Kid Rock song Cocky, which would seem random but that's the theme song for the PPV, its just been edited off all of these Raws and Smackdowns. He is finally interrupted by Stone Cold Steve Austin.

In a star studded Rumble, these two are by far and away the favourites to actually win it. There’s no mention of their history as the heel Two Man Power Trip or their teased feud before The Game’s injury and that's for the best. Triple H gets in Austin’s face and their staredown turns to a fight as they both start throwing punches. Neither man gets the advantage, countering and avoiding a Stunner and Pedigree respectively until The Undertaker appears at ringside and cracks Triple H in the back with a chair. He walks right into a Stone Cold Stunner but Austin is blasted in the head with a chair by the Undertaker too! Raw ends with The Game and the Rattlesnake down and out with the Hardcore Champion standing over them proclaiming himself as the future Royal Rumble winner.

Canada vs. Texas

In their locker room, Christian and Lance talk about how awesome what Jericho just did was. They’re joined by Chris Jericho and the three of them mock Texas and pat themselves on the back for leaving him laying, and how easily he’ll beat The Rock at the Rumble. They’re interrupted by native Texan Bradshaw who gets all loud and obnoxious and Texas about it, making sure to tell them how amazing and great George W. Bush is. Jesus Christ. He challenges them to a six man tag team match later tonight.

In the APA’s office they discuss who they can get as their partner for the six man tag with the Canadians. Just then, the Big Show walks in and seems to answer the question. Booker T also walks in and joins them. Bradshaw makes fun of his hair - JR and King make fun of his hair a lot too. He has pretty standard black man hair so it all feels quite racist. Big Show makes fun of Booker getting a Stinkface on Smackdown so he challenges him to a match later and Show accepts. That match is on, so the APA still need a partner for the six man.

On a monitor in their locker room, Christian, Chris Jericho and Lance Storm react in disgust to watching the APA find their partner - it’s Rikishi!

Undisputed Champion Chris Jericho, European Champion Christian and Lance Storm take on the APA and Rikishi. Much like on Smackdown there is a lot of talk about whether Jericho can avoid a Stinkface and that has become a little mini feud of its own. The fans are hot for this thanks to all the anti-Texas and George Bush rhetoric earlier. A Breakdown facebuster on a distracted Faarooq gives the Canadian trio a clean victory in a short match. 

Kurt Freakin’ Angle

Michael Cole interviews Kurt Angle and after saying that Kane saved him from being defeated on Smackdown as Austin had him dead to rights after a Stunner. Kurt takes issue with Kane using him to make a statement and says he messed with the wrong guy and he’ll make his own statement tonight - Kane vs. Kurt Angle later. The crowd’s WHAT chants are especially loud when directed at Kurt Angle.

Kurt Angle doesn’t get the You Suck chants during his entrance this week so I guess that didn’t catch on from the New York crowds last week. He’s facing the huge Kane, and reminded us earlier tonight that the last time they went one on one (for the WCW US Championship during the Invasion) he actually made Kane tap out for the first and only time in his career. They’ve done a good job of reminding us many times how dominant Kane was in the 2001 Royal Rumble. God doesn’t that feel like a lifetime ago? Kane dominates Kurt but with his wrestling skill he does get Kane into the ankle lock. Kane seems like he’ll have to pick between winning this match and being too injured to enter the Rumble match but guts it out and gets to the ropes twice, but endures a lot of punishment before he does.

 A staggered and injured Kane walks into an Angle slam but he kicks out and Kurt cannot believe it! Kane sits up and this one match is the strongest he’s been booked in years! A frustrated Kurt runs into a chokeslam but he grabs the referee to stop it. It doesn’t and Kane chokeslams them both at once! Kane puts Kurt in his own ankle lock and Kurt kicks out but the referee doesn’t see it. Kurt rolls through it and grabs the ropes for leverage, stealing a pin fall victory! This was a great match - perhaps Kane’s greatest ever honestly. Kurt was the best wasn’t he?

Other Happenings

• Bubba Ray Dudley (with D-Von and Stacy Keibler) takes on his little brother Spike (with his tag team championship partner Tazz). During this we learn that the Dudleyz have got their rematch for the titles at the Royal Rumble as well. An attempted distraction gone wrong leads to Spike rolling Bubba up and picking up another big victory!
• My new favourite tag team, Billy and Chuck come out and Billy says that what The Hurricane did to them on Sunday Night Heat ruined their plans to go on a double date. He says he and Chuck have the real superhero physiques. Billy and Chuck’s opponents are The Hurricane and Cruiserweight Champion Tajiri (with Mighty Molly and Torrie Wilson). Before the match, Hurricane expresses disbelief they could get any hot chicks (whats up wit dat?!) and calls them a pair of flamers. Unsurprisingly the gay joke gets a pop from the Texans in the crowd. The much bigger Billy and Chuck pick up the easy win.

• Booker T vs. Big Show in a battle of former WCW World Champions. Booker has settled into an upper mid card role since his feud with Stone Cold ended but the stinkface and vomit combo on Smackdown shifted him into comedy territory. Booker beats up Show with surprising ease and almost squashes him and beats him clean with a Scissors kick but the big man kicks out. Booker exposed one of the turnbuckles before the match and it pays off as he drop toe holds Show into it, knocking him out and stealing a win. Book celebrates with a Spinarooni! 

• WWF Women’s Champion Trish Stratus makes her way to the ring and joins commentary for the next match, which is Jacqueline vs. Jazz in a number one contenders match. Jackie gets a pop being in her home town tonight. Jazz wins a very short match with a fisherman buster and that means she’ll face Trish at the Royal Rumble for the WWF women’s title. She tries to attack Trish at ringside again afterwards but referees and Jerry Lawler keep the two apart.
• Edge teams with Rob Van Dam against William Regal and Test. This match and episode of Raw marks the debut of RVD’s new theme song - One of a Kind by Breaking Point. It’s still great and he’s still using it for the occasional appearance in the 2020s. As the referee checks Regal for his brass knuckles before the match, Test uses the distraction to jump Edge and Van Dam from behind. William actually had the knuckles hidden behind the ring steps which is smart. Regal knocks out RVD with his knucks and while Edge does a good job of fighting off both him and Test, he also takes a big brutal right hand knocking him out cold. Regal steals a victory over the Intercontinental Champion before their title match at the Royal Rumble.

Smackdown - January 17th 2002

Foregone Conclusion?

The Rock arrives at the arena and encounters a beer drinking Stone Cold Steve Austin, waiting to give him good news and bad news. The good news is that Austin will win the Royal Rumble but the bad news is that when The Rock beats Jericho for the WWF title he’ll have to face him at Wrestlemania and the record is two - zero to the Rattlesnake. The Rock reminds him that he pinned him at Survivor Series and they agree that they’re both very much looking forward to their third Wrestlemania main event for the WWF title. I liked this little segment a lot.

Kurt Angle arrives, looking for The Rock. Hilariously he takes major issues with the backstage member of staff calling him “Kurt”. It’s Mr. Angle, Olympic Gold Medalist. After the commercial break, Kurt finds The Rock and much like Austin at the start of the show, tells him that HE will win the Royal Rumble and see The Rock at Wrestlemania for the Undisputed WWF Championship. The Rock teases him, getting Kurt to imagine all the ways he’ll beat up The Rock at Wrestlemania with his eyes closed before telling him to WAKE UP, because that’s just a dream! Reality is The Rock whooping his ass. 

Jonathan Coachman is backstage looking for Triple H. He can’t find him because The Game, much like Angle and Austin, has gone looking for his old nemesis The Rock. He gives him much the same warning about how he’s going to win the Royal Rumble and face him at Wrestlemania. The Rock doesn’t let him speak, telling him that they have unsettled business. Triple H says they can settle it at Wrestlemania. It’s kind of sad but much like the teased showdown between Triple H and Austin, that match never came to pass. I mentioned it during my 2000 shows but Triple H and The Rock have never wrestled on PPV since then. Sorry, spoilers! 

The parade of main eventers and Royal Rumble favourites checking in with The Rock continues as The Undertaker tells Rocky that while he might not beat Chris Jericho, he WILL win the Royal Rumble so he might see him at Wrestlemania. At least he left it a little ambiguous - everyone else is acting like The Rock has already beaten Jericho. The Rock leaves that staredown and heads directly to the ring to address The People.

After a quick replay of him making Chris Jericho tap out to win a tag team match last week, The Rock does as he said and goes out to the ring. This is a great promo as The Rock says that this year the Rumble will be special - there won’t just be one winner, EVERYONE is going to win the Royal Rumble. He rattles off a list of people who’ll win it including Goldust and the camera man in the ring with him. He takes the camera from him and puts him on camera, interviewing him about winning the Rumble match (making sure to call him gay of course, because it’s 2002). He pans around the crowd and asks everyone if they’re going to win the Royal Rumble? This is The Rock at his best and he had me in stitches watching this.

He says that it doesn’t matter who wins the Royal Rumble because whoever it is, he’ll beat them at Wrestlemania. He’s getting to the end and preparing to wrap up his promo when he’s finally interrupted by his opponent, the current Undisputed Champion Chris Jericho. He is furious and disgusted by the disrespect tonight. The Rock hasn’t mentioned his name once! Everyone in the back is acting like The Rock has already won. He is bubbling with rage at everyone treating him like a transitional champion and The Rock beating him is a foregone conclusion. Jericho tells Rocky he can fight whoever he wants at Wrestlemania but it won’t be for this championship. He just about loses his voice screaming and ranting like a mad man at the number one contender about how the title is his and ONLY his! The Rock finally stops him when he calls Smackdown his show - Smackdown is THE ROCK’s show. He says everyone is acting like he’s going to beat Chris Jericho because the truth hurts and he is going to beat him. He’s better than Jericho and everyone knows it. His If Ya Smell is cut off by Jericho again! He is not a joke and says he will NOT look past him! Jericho looks insane. The Rock takes off his sunglasses and gets out of the ring, slowly and calmly walking up the ramp to get face to face with the champion. Everyone assumes they’re going to fight but instead, The Rock remains calm and in something far more sinister than attacking him, explains that this is not a joke, circling him while telling him that he takes him very seriously.This was all great from The Rock’s comedy to the interaction with Jericho. 

Let’s Get Ready to Rumble!

Before the main event, Debra tells her husband about how much she hates Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. Stone Cold tells her to leave it alone because tonight he has to try and get along with her husband Triple H in tonight’s main event. Elsewhere, Booker T and Kurt Angle have their own argument about who’s going to win the Royal Rumble but agree to put their differences aside for the main event.

In the McMahon-Helmsley locker room, Stephanie smugly takes joy in Debra being told to stay away from ringside assuming that she will be there to help her husband but Triple H bursts her bubble and tells her to stay in the back too. It seems that this new post-injury Triple H is pretty committed to doing things on his own and proving he can. He doesn’t want Austin as his partner but he’ll do what it takes, and reminds her that all of this is about him, not her.

Triple H’s first match since May 2001 when he tore his quad. Its interesting, at least historically, that that was also a tag team match with Stone Cold Steve Austin as his partner. The big and somewhat obvious story is that neither of these teams can really get along this close to all being in the Royal Rumble match. For perhaps the only time in his career, Stone Cold enters first before his partner. Usually the biggest star comes out last but in fairness, this is The Game’s big return to the ring (and by this point, Stephanie was very much in charge of the booking of the shows, and he’d been dating her for a couple of years). Triple H shows no obvious signs of ring rust and continues to use his new super babyface trademark move - a running choke - on Kurt Angle. Austin and Triple H tag in and out and don’t show any obvious signs of turning on each other. Booker and Kurt isolate the Rattlesnake and tag in and out to work him over until finally he’s able to make a tag to Triple H who gets a big cheer and motors through old rival Angle and Booker who he’s never been in the ring with before. A Stone Cold Stunner sends Booker T staggering into a Pedigree and like that, Austin and Triple H win. Booker and Kurt quietly leave the winners to share a big tense staredown in the ring but before it comes to blows, Undertaker comes out to watch them from the top of the ramp just like last week. And so ends Smackdown.

Edge and Regal make their own statements

The opening match is Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal. All the chat is about Regal’s IC title match at the PPV as well as Van Dam (and his new banger theme song) making his first ever Royal Rumble appearance. Regal is once again patted down for brass knuckles. The referee finds nothing so we have to wonder where he’s hidden them this week. King accuses Michael Cole and JR for giving Regal a hard time about the brass knuckles because they don’t like foreigners, which did make me laugh. Regal had the knuckles hidden behind a turnbuckle and uses them to knock out RVD while the referee is distracted to steal another victory with his legendary left hand.

Intercontinental Champion has a non-title match against Test, who debuts a new theme song here. It’s a slowed down, sinister version of his previous theme and it kind of sucks. Before the match gets very far, William Regal runs down to attack Edge but is sent packing. Edge has had enough and grabs a steel chair, hitting Regal, Test (to get himself disqualified) and even crooked referee Nick Patrick for getting in his way! He is sick of the sneak attacks.

That’s not a Bad Thing…

Diamond Dallas Page, who returned in a backstage segment with Booker T on Raw, makes his in-ring return against The Big Bossman. Michael Cole explains on commentary that former Alliance member DDP was given this match by Ric Flair - if DDP wins not only does he get a WWF contract but he gets a spot in this Sunday’s Royal Rumble match. It’s a giveaway because he’s facing forever-heel the Bossman but smiling and overly positive DDP is a babyface now. After a short match, DDP hits a Diamond Cutter out of nowhere to earn a job and a spot in his first ever Royal Rumble match.

Other Happenings

• Billy (of Billy and Chuck) goes one on one with the Cruiserweight Champion Tajiri (with his girlfriend Torrie Wilson). Billy and Chuck are still using Billy’s “I’ve got it all” The One theme song which in fairness is also pretty excellent. Tajiri uses his speed and seems like he could win this but Chuck runs in. He gets the green mist to the face but the distraction is still enough for Billy to hit the Fameasser and win the match. After the bell, Billy holds Tajiri in place so that Chuck can lay him out with a big superkick too. 

• Lillian Garcia interviews WWF Women’s Champion (and her real life bestie) Trish Stratus. She asks if she’s ready for Jazz at the Royal Rumble but before she can answer she’s jumped from behind by Jazz who traps Trish’s hand in a large equipment case and slams it on her hand, seemingly breaking it! 

• European Champion Christian and his buddy Lance Storm take on Rikishi in a handicap match which is also an over the top rope challenge, to give the fans who’ve never seen a Royal Rumble understand how it works. And I guess fans with no imagination who couldn’t picture someone being thrown over the top rope, something that has happened in thousands of wrestling matches. Rikishi gives them both Stinkfaces and easily tosses them out to win this match but before he can celebrate, The Big Show comes down to apparently make a little statement of his own. He picks up Rikishi and actually carries him across the ring before throwing him out of the ring. Next up is Bradshaw and Faarooq. The APA comes out and this parade of Rumble participants continues. They double team and knock Show over the top with ease before trying to throw each other out of the ring! Every man for himself. Kane’s pyro explodes and the big red machine comes down. Despite the two on one odds, Bradshaw and Faarooq look nervous to fight him. They put up a fight but he does indeed throw both of them quickly out of the ring and signal his pyro to celebrate as the last man standing.

• Earlier today in the parking lot, the new WWF Tag Team Champions Spike Dudley and Tazz arrived but were attacked as they were getting out of their car by former champions and their Royal Rumble challengers The Dudley Boyz who beat them up all over, slamming them into tricks and locking Tazz in the trunk of his car (while saying “come on Tazz” over and over and over and over. Bubba must have said it 20 times in about 90 seconds). The end the attack with a 3D on the concrete to poor Spike! That looked brutal, but it was too dark outside to get a good photo of it so you’ll have to take my word for it.
• I mentioned on Raw that the theme song for this PPV was Cocky by Kid Rock. It’s been edited off every show in the build up so I assume will be missing from the PPV too but it did sneak in a couple of times during this episode of Smackdown. I guess the editors missed this episode.