Raw is War - December 8th 1997

Raw opens with a quick recap of the Intercontinental Championship match last night at DX: In Your House. Stone Cold retained the title (and regained possession of the physical belt) after driving his pickup truck down to the ring, demolishing the entire Nation and Stunning the original referee before a second counted his pin on The Rock. It was called controversial and chaotic at the time (Austin should have lost via disqualification if nothing else) and it seems like we’ll be hearing more about it tonight on Raw.
The first hour of this week’s Live show has Jim Ross, Michael Cole and Kevin Kelly on commentary and Vince McMahon makes his way down to the ring; his first on screen appearance since Survivor Series. His black eye has healed but he’s showered with boos by the fans because, by this point, everyone is keenly aware of his role in screwing Bret Hart. Vince confirms that he’ll be leaning into his heel persona by having a go at the incredibly popular Stone Cold Steve Austin. He lists all of the terrible things Austin’s done recently (with each getting a cheer) and says that he went too far last night by endangering the fans when he drove his truck to the ring and using his truck as a weapon. He repeats what I’ve just said about the referee and insists that Stone Cold will defend the title tonight against “the man some of you feel is the People’s Champion” The Rock. That brings the Rattlesnake to the ring and he casually throws the title belt into the ring. This promo is very much the start of Mr. McMahon as a villain and he tries to put Austin in his place - he’s the owner and the boss. Stone Cold doesn’t give a rat’s ass and does what he wants, when he wants. Vince threatens him with consequences for not defending the title tonight. “I’ve got my own consequences - if you wanna see Vince McMahon get his ass whipped give me a hell yeah?” HELL yeah! Vince tells him off for his bad language so Austin swears multiple times while giving an insincere apology for that which made me laugh. Austin says that he’ll go backstage and have a beer and a couple of hot dogs while he thinks about it, and tells Vince to consider his own consequences. He promises that somebody is getting their ass whipped tonight whether it’s Jim Ross, a referee or even Vince himself. Stone Cold doesn’t give a shit! You can see why he got so popular, especially in the late 90s when the world needed this energy. JR spends most of this first hour in silence letting newcomers Cole and Kelly do most of the talking which is nice of him; gotta let the new guys get themselves over!

After a recap of The Godwins cheating the LOD out of their tag team title match last night, Hawk and Animal battle Henry and Phineas. Billy Gunn and Road Dog come out with The Godwins to provide some elicit backup. This match doesn’t last too long before the lights go out and Kane comes to the ring to make another impact. The champions and Godwins seem to have been smart enough to run off and with Animal down on the outside, Hawk is all alone in the ring. Kane piledrivers him - Hawk no-sells it and gets back to his feet - so Kane drops him with a chokeslam and then a Tombstone Pildriver. Hawk is helpless and the Tag Team Champions return to pick the bones. They stomp away at the lifeless Hawk until Animal is able to grab a steel chair and chase them away from his fallen partner. The LOD are both hurt but it took five people to do it, including the monstrous Kane.

After the commercial break, the champions are still in the ring. They sing the goodbye song for “the O.L.D” and say that with them having dominated the tag team division it's time for them to dominate the singles ranks. They challenge anyone to come out and face Bad Ass Billy in a one on one match - Road Dog has a great line when Dude Love accepts saying he’s actually three men! He joins commentary to talk about how great he and Billy are (and refers to their loose partnership with The Godwins as “southern justice” which became the Godwin’s new team name later in the year). This was Mick Foley’s return to the WWF’s TV tapings after a couple of weeks off in solidarity with Bret Hart. He needed the money, and I guess Vince managed to talk him around on it. Sweet Chin Music and a double arm DDT gets the victory for Dude but before he can even properly celebrate, Road Dog gets in the ring and blasts him with a STIFF chairshot to the head. Jesus. He lays both tag team title belts across Dude’s head and Billy hits a big top rope leg drop to drive them into Mick. (Kind of - the camera angle showed that Billy was very safe and missed which was nice of him, but it’s a shame the director cut to that angle for the impact).

Backstage as The Nation prepares for The Rock’s Intercontinental title match later we get our first glimpse of Rocky wearing sunglasses on WWF TV. After a commercial break he cuts what most people would call a classic Rock promo; he has tons more charisma and keeps referring to himself in the 3rd person and as the People’s Champion. The only thing missing now is the People’s eyebrow.

In the ring, Jim Cornette interviews Taka Michinoku (who has been learning English from Jim Ross apparently, and we see a clip of him teaching Taka how to say slobberknocker). Cornette is about to bring out the first man to challenge the new Light Heavyweight Champion but is interrupted by Jerry Lawler who rattles off a bunch of angry “coming over to our country and stealing our championships” jokes. He tells Lawler off for being a foreigner who doesn’t speak English. He asks if Taka can speak one word of English and there’s a big pop when Taka calls him a jackass. Cornette regains control of the segment by introducing Taka’s first challenger ; El Unico. It’s pretty obviously Brian Christopher in a mask. Lawler insults him two and it seems like the light heavyweights are going to team up against King but he double crosses Taka, Unico unmasks to reveal that he is Brian Christopher and the father-son duo spike the new champion with three spike piledrivers before referees and officials finally fill the ring to stop the beat down.

There’s a video about the death of the Hart Foundation, highlighting DX geting rid of Bulldog (knee injury, but he went to WCW really), Bret Hart (no need to explain further) and Neidhart (beaten up and kicked out of the WWF two weeks ago). Owen Hart returned last night and JR calls it “the final chapter” and that that was Owen’s final revenge. I assume that was because they weren’t sure yet how much Owen would be willing to work with DX and that the storyline needed to be in a spot where it could be wrapped up quickly.

Flash Funk is scheduled to face The Interrogator from the Truth Commission, which he does but to everyone’s shock he’s had a repackage. The Jackyl still leads him to the ring but with new theme music and a new look for the renamed Kurrgan. The Jackly joins commentary and has leaned heavily into the cult leader gimmick, promising that he and Kurrgan will take over the entire WWF. Kurrgan wins with a claw hold on the head and then Recon and Sniper come down to find out what's going on and try to get Kurrgan to release the hold. They’re not able to and are pushed aside by the big man, apparently abandoned by The Jackyl. The referee reverses the decision because the hold wasn’t released so Flash Funk actually wins by disqualification. Finally, Jackyl slaps Kurrgan in the face so he releases the hold and the two of them laugh hysterically. This is definitely a more interesting gimmick than the Truth Commission stuff.

After a replay of last night’s WWF Championship match finish (Shamrock won by disqualification when Triple H and Chyna got involved), Ken Shamrock was the first man to declare himself for the 1998 Royal Rumble promising to get his hands back on Michaels even if he has to do through 29 other men to get it!
After the mid-show reset to the Warzone, D-Generation X makes their way down to the ring first. Jerry Lawler has swapped out with Michael Cole and Kevin Kelly to handle the second hour with JR. Triple H speaks first and throws more insults at Slaughter. He calls him pathetic and once again promises to “swing by your house and do x, y and z to your old lady” which is the exact same phrasing he’s used on Raw the past two weeks and at the PPV last night. Michaels brags about beating Ken Shamrock last night like he did it all by himself and then sarcastically calls the European title “coveted” before reminding us that he’s the only grand slam winner in history. Michaels brings up Owen Hart’s attack last night and compares the Hart Family to a giant turd that D-Generation X had to flush, and Owen Hart to a “little nugget” that keeps coming back up. So yes, for long time fans who remember Owen Hart’s “I’m not a nugget” catchphrase, this is where that came from - DX calling him a nugget of human shit. Charming. Shawn says that he knows Owen is here somewhere so DX are going to sit themselves down in the middle of the ring and play strip poker until Owen finally comes out here to face them and he can rid the WWF of “that final tiny stinky nugget”.

After a commercial break, DX has moved the table and chairs to the outside of the ring to continue their game and allow DOA and Los Boricuas to have their scheduled match. Michaels seems to be losing because he’s already shirtless and barefoot! The match in the ring is Skull and 8-Ball vs. Miguel and Jose but no one is really paying attention with DX still playing poker at ringside. Los Boricuas win the match thanks to a sneak attack by Savio Vega with a 2x4.
After another commercial break, DX have moved their game back into the ring so that when The Headbangers come out for their match they flip the table over and it turns into a brawl. DX smashes a bottle of booze over Mosh’s head and they stack up Thrasher so that Triple H can powerbomb him off the top rope through the table. Mosh is bleeding in mutliple places from his head so I suspect that the bottle wasn’t gimmicked, and the beating continues with steel chairs as JR talks about how disgusting most of the current champions in the WWF are (Between these guys and the Tag Team Champions he’s not wrong). Shawn Michaels does this whole beating in nothing but his boxer shorts for additional silly points and gets a lot of girly screams when he jostles his junk. DX’s good mood is ruined just like last night when Owen Hart comes through the crowd, tackles Michaels and hammers on him with some punches and manages to escape through the crowd a second time before Triple H or Chyna can get to him! Owen Hart isn’t done with D-Generation X yet.

Jeff Jarrett - hot off the heels of his disqualification win over Undertaker last night at the PPV - takes on Vader. This match doesn’t even begin as just as Vader gets to the ring the Artist Formerly Known as Goldust comes to the ring being led on a leash by Luna. He has a wig of pigtails on his head and opens his trenchcoat to flash Vader! The big man dives out of the ring and chases Goldust and Luna backstage and Jeff Jarrett wins by count out. Another “victory” for the world’s greatest wrestler.
Last night after Mero hit Butterbean with a wooden stool, the legit boxer cut a backstage promo about wanting to get his hands back on Mero in the future. “Marvellous” Marc Mero is slated to wrestle Salvatore Sincere but before that match, Maro Mero “shoots” and breaks character, telling us that Sal’s real name is Tom Brandy and that he should be ashamed of himself for taking this stupid gimmick. JR laughs and takes the opportunity to sarcastically call himself a bad man, poking fun at the heel turn they made him do in 1996. Mero says that he’s put Sable in her place and brings out “someone who can’t do a Merosault”. She walks to the ring looking sheepish wearing a potato sack to cover up her body as Marc sarcastically calls her a little girl and his property and then demands that she disrobe him - Sable removes her own sack to reveal an absolutely tiny bikini to massive cheers and a big reaction from Lawler. She looks pretty incredible to be fair! Mero gets so focused on covering Sable up and rushing her to the back that he just abandons the match which gives Sal Sincere/Tom Brandy the victory via count out.

In the main event its scheduled to be Stone Cold defending the Intercontinental title against The Rock but when Austin comes out he’s not dressed to compete. He refuses to wrestle because Vince McMahon told him to - the Rattlesnake will not do what he’s told. Vince threatens to strip him of the title and award it to The Rock but Stone Cold says that his focus is on being WWF Champion and he’s done with the Intercontinental title anyway! He presents the belt to The Rock who is officially announced as the new champion and then Stone Cold drops him with a Stunner! The Rattlesnake bounces off the ropes a couple of times while Vince is getting out of the ring and sends the owner of the WWF flying off the apron to the floor! Vince is pissed! Stone Cold takes the physical title belt and says that he still has plans for that and we’ll find out what those are next week. I need to note that while Stone Cold still does have the physical title belt, The Rock is officially the new Intercontinental Champion.

Raw is War - December 15th 1997

This is a big episode of Raw as this is the very first one where the WWF logo in the corner of the screen is no longer the classic blocky WWF logo but is the new white and red, iconic WWF Attitude scratch logo. It’s a new era for the World Wrestling Federation.
In the ring, Michael Cole interviews The Undertaker with a huge announcement. At the Royal Rumble The Undertaker will challenge Shawn Michaels for the WWF Championship in a casket match! The Undertaker’s promo is fairly standard stuff and says that Michaels cannot beat him one on one and always needs help to survive him. The Deadman says that he's only lost one casket match and on that occasion it took 10 men to do it. He’s not wrong. He tells Michaels to give his soul to the Lord because the rest of him belongs to The Undertaker. The arena lights go out and a big fiery pyro charge heralds the arrival of Kane. He gets in his older brother’s face and this time, he stays there so that Paul Bearer can say his piece. He says that Kane’s 20+ years of agony is all his fault and so is all the suffering of Kane’s recent victims. He has one more chance to step up and fight his brother Kane so he can burn in hell or the path of destruction will continue. Kane slaps Undertaker across the face but when he tries for a second, the Deadman blocks it! He turns and leaves and Kane triggers his pyro as the two brothers stare at each other from a distance. The confrontation is coming!

Here’s a commercial for the WWF: The Music volume 2 album just because I thought it was a pretty awesome commercial!

WWF The Music: Volume 2

After the sneak attack last week, Taka Michinoku faces Jerry Lawler. Obviously Taka’s light heavyweight title isn’t on the line in this match. Before hand Lawler asks JR about him teaching Taka English last week and to my amusement, JR shoots a deadpan “Jim from The Office” style look into the camera because obviously that was just a little comedy bit. Good stuff. Taka has a hard time with the larger Lawler who slowly picks apart the champion with suplexes and slams. The commentators mention that during the match at the PPV, Brian Christopher suffered a back injury in addition to the busted open mouth. Sadly, Lawler had this match won after absolutely dominating Taka and hitting his piledriver. Taka only survives because the King refused to go for the pin. Michinoku overcomes the move and hits the Michinoku Driver which brings Brian Christopher running down to attack him and save his dad from being pinned. Taka fights him off with a spinning heel kick and a hurricanrana so I guess Brian’s back injury isn’t as bad as they thought? Taka escapes the two on one beat down this week.
In the main event tonight Hawk and Animal are facing the DX team of Shawn Michaels and Triple H. The LOD cut an interview from backstage about it and didn't say much of note honestly. I do enjoy them ranting and shouting though.

The new Intercontinental Champion The Rock leads The Nation down to the ring. We get our first glimpse of dissension within the Nation as when Faarooq goes to speak, The Rock cuts him off so Faarooq spends the rest of Rocky’s promo looking at him sideways. The Rock calls himself the undisputed Intercontinental Champion and he orders Stone Cold to come to the ring and give him his Intercontinental title belt. That brings out the Rattlesnake onto the ramp but without the belt. The Rock gives a little taste of raising his eyebrow during this too as Stone Cold says that he does whatever he wants including beating the entire Nation’s ass. He tells Rock that he’ll find out exactly what he’s done with his title belt before the end of tonight’s show. Rock tells him that he has exactly 1 hour to give him his title belt or The entire Nation will go hunting for him. Faarooq doesn’t look too impressed by the way Rocky is calling the shots and D’Lo and Kama have just accepted it. Later in the show, JR mentions that Stone Cold has left the building BUT has taken one of the WWF’s remote camera crews with him.

After the way they beat him up last week, Dude Love seeks revenge against one half of the Tag Team Champions Road Dog. This week because Road Dog is wrestling, Billy Gunn cuts the prematch promo which is weird but what’s weirder is that he is very careful to never say the word “ass”. I do like that Road Dog and Billy are wearing South Park t-shirts. That show was new and red hot at the time so they very much have their fingers on the pulse. Billy joins the commentary desk and Jim Ross calls the team “the new age outlaws” which Billy loves and immediately takes credit for. I guess that means I can finally start calling this team the New Age Outlaws. They cheat and Dude Love gets sick of the sneak attacks and taunts, turning into Mankind before our very eyes! He pulls out his hair and fights on the outside a little, even rocking back and forth while he sits in the ring but does win the match with a double arm DDT on Road Dog. Billy tries to attack with a steel chair but Dude catches him coming and then seems to turn into Cactus Jack next, fighting him up the ramp too. The Tag Team Champions attack from behind and with a two on one advantage, give him a double suplex on the steel ramp and then throw him off the entrance ramp! He was clearly supposed to go through a table but missed and Mick bounced to the concrete floor. The Outlaws act like they’re concerned but then start stomping on him too as everyone worries about the physical condition of Dude Love.

Mark Henry makes his in-ring Raw debut against the Brooklyn Brawler. I thought Mark was off TV because he was training but it turns out I was wrong and he suffered a broken ankle and was rehabbing that for just over a year. Mark wins with a bearhug, because he is the world’s strongest man afterall.
At the start of the Warzone (with Jim Cornette on commentary rather than Jerry Lawler), Vince McMahon goes down to the ring and calls out Owen Hart who he knows is here tonight. He reminds Owen that he is under contract to the WWF and demands he come to the ring and explain his recent actions. Owen Hart comes through the crowd and, in a promo filled with beeps, tells Vince that he doesn’t owe him a God Damn thing and that the bullshit stops tonight. Bret, Bulldog and Neidhart all did what they had to do (leave for WCW) but he has to do what he has to do and that's stay in the WWF. No one is going to run him out of the WWF. The sad thing about this situation is that Owen did really want to leave the WWF after Montreal too but Vince used his contract to force him to stay. Vince accuses Owen of being selfish and that his real motives are the WWF Championship. He calls Vince an idiot and says the title is worthless to him - this is real life and making Shawn Michaels’ life a living hell is all that matters to him. Vince looks angry and visibly uncomfortable as Owen continues to swear and threaten Shawn Michaels in what was his career best promo. Vince tells Owen that next week on Raw he’ll come down the ramp just like every other WWF Superstar and get in the ring and compete. Vince asks for the arena’s security to come to the ring and make sure Owen leaves that way too rather than “continue to endanger the fans” by leaving through the crowd. Owen grabs Vince’s jacket and gets in his face but then does leave peacefully. This was Owen’s best ever promo and it felt real because quite frankly, I feel like a lot of it was. Owen was a professional though and if he’s contracted to perform then perform he will.

The artist formerly known as Salvatore Sincere performs now under his real name of Tom Brandy after Marc Mero shamed him last week and takes on The Sultan. Brandy picks up a win with a roll up because he’s not a jobber anymore (he is). His celebration is cut short by a low blow from Marc Mero as the crowd chants for Sable.
The Nation heads back down to the ring after an hour, just like The Rock promised they would and just like earlier he subtly throws his weight around and shunts actual leader Faarooq into the background. Stone Cold appears on the titantron - he’s on a bridge somewhere with the Intercontinental title belt! He has a bunch of scuba gear and throws it all over the bridge item by item while taunting The Rock about having to earn the title by going swimming for it before finally launching the Intercontinental title belt off the bridge! During this promo, for the second time tonight, Stone Cold called himself “the three one six”. Now I love Austin but you can see why that didn’t catch on because it is powerfully lame. Little bit of trivia; a fan in the area went swimming and actually did find the belt that Austin threw off the bridge. It was one of the old Tag Team Championship belts they didn’t need anymore. He contacted the WWF and demanded a huge cash sum for the belt or he’d “go public” and was, obviously, laughed at.

This is already a pretty historic episode of Raw but thanks to Vince McMahon it is legendary; this night is when he officially welcomed us to the WWF’s Attitude era with a 4th wall breaking promo, explaining that the WWF was changing its creative output and would be less suitable for children going forwards. He uses a lot of big words to say simply that the WWF stepped up its game and evolved to fit in with the world as it existed in the late 90s.

Steve Blackman, who we haven’t seen on Raw since Survivor Series, takes on Jose of Los Boricuas. Blackman wins with a bridging German suplex.
Backstage, Jim Ross speaks to D-Generation X about tonight’s main event and about Owen Hart’s comments earlier. Shawn takes credit for getting rid of Bret and Bulldog and HHH gets credit for getting rid of Neidhart so they play rock, paper, scissors to see who’s turn it is to get rid of Owen - Triple H wins.

In the main event, Hawk and Animal bounce Michaels around with ease until he’s forced to tag out to Triple H. Helmsley doesn’t fare any better until a well timed cheap shot from HBK allows DX to isolate and work over Hawk in their corner of the tine. As we move towards the finish and the match breaks down, Road Dog and Bad Ass Billy Gunn sneak down to ringside and soak a rag in ether, smoothing Hawk and putting him to sleep with the chemical! Triple H and Michaels beat up Animal two on one and, with Hawk unconscious, Billy shaves off one of Hawk’s mohawks. Michaels and Helmsley think its hilarious and it seems like they’ve just found two new best friends in their juvenile antics. The DX and New Age Outlaws quarter aren’t done and they stack up Animal and all four of them collectively powerbomb him off the ring apron through the announce table! JR is immediately concerned about the welfare of Animal’s back. The New Age Outlaws - with a little help from D-Generation X - have destroyed Dude Love, Hawk and Animal all in this single episode of Raw. Billy hits a nice leg drop off the top rope which Michaels and HHH give him a good score for, but then Michaels hits his top rope elbow and the four of them compare notes and playfully fight over who was better and who deserves to be on camera.

Raw is War - December 22nd 1997

This special Christmas themed episode of Raw opens with D-Generation X, wearing bathrobes. The commentators say that we have an idea of what is planned tonight so the censors are on standby. Triple H laughs about having ended the the LOD’s careers last week and tells the New Age Outlaws that they need to stay out of DX’s way and don’t take credit for their actions. He then tells Owen Hart - “the little nugget” - that he won the rock paper scissors contest last week so he’s the one who gets the privilege of ending his career next. That frees up Shawn to talk about his Royal Rumble opponent The Undertaker. Michaels says that Undertaker couldn’t beat him at Ground Zero or inside Hell in a Cell at Badd Blood and the Rumble will be no different. “The Heartbreak Kid doesn’t rest in peace - he can stay up all night!” They remove their robes and the tiny little outfits they have on are hidden by the DX censors. Their good mood is ruined by Sgt. Slaughter coming out to make a match tonight; Michaels hasn’t defended his European title since he won it so tonight he’ll defend it against Triple H! The DX buddies are very upset and huddle, but then their egos take over as the two of them bicker over who’d win a match between them and Chyna has to hold them apart. DX might implode.

The Headbangers face The Godwins; this is a rematch from the previous weekend on Shotgun Saturday Night as The Headbangers won when Henry accidentally hit Phineas with their own slopbucket. On their walk to the ring, Michael Cole asks them about their future plans and Henry says that the Outlaws still owe them a tag team title match for helping them out against the LOD! This is actually a singles match between Thrasher and Henry with Mosh and Phineas at ringside for moral support. It ends via disqualificcation very quickly as Phineas attacks Thrasher and the Godwins quickly overwhelm Mosh and Thrasher, laying them out with Slop Drop reverse DDTs and then whipping them with a pair of leather straps until referees and officials put an end to that.

After a recap of The New Age Outlaws beating down poor Dude Love over the past two weeks, Mankind is in the boiler room and says that he has to jump to Dude Love’s defence because it turns out that when you break Dude’s ribs, Mankind’s hurt too! He promises to give a lot of pain to the Outlaws in return for what they did to Dude Love last week.

Last week after Raw went off the air, they filmed a segment with Santa Claus. He was expecting Sable but when she didn’t come out they grabbed a kid from the front row. (The kid is either Jimmy or Jey Uso! Their dad was The Sultan aka Rikishi which is why he was there to act as an extra) and after this phoney Santa claims to be the real one, Stone Cold Steve Austin came down to the ring. This is a pretty well known segment and I actually send the gif of this to my friends every year! Austin is really rude to “Santa” and after proving that he's NOT the real Santa, he’s dropped with a Stone Cold Stunner.

The Rock faces The Undertaker (yes, really. Give that a moment to sink in) but The Rock’s Intercontinental title isn’t on the line which is just as well because he still doesn’t have the physical belt after Austin threw it off that bridge last week. Undertaker dominates early but thanks to a distraction from D’Lo Brown and then Paul Bearer who waddles down to ringside The Rock manages to come back and keep the referee distracted for cheap shots by Kama, Faarooq and D’Lo. The Rock breaks out the move later to be known as the People’s Elbow to no reaction and a near fall. The Deadman fights off interference by the Nation to hit a chokeslam and then the Tombstone on The Rock but before he can cover, the lights go out and Kane is once again there to confront his brother. They get face to face again and Bearer calls The Undertaker a shell of the man he once was and when Paul mentions that his mother and father are with the worms and maggots, he lunches for his former manager. Kane hammers Undertaker with punches and kicks and while the Deadman has the chance to fight back, chooses not to and Kane leaves him beaten up in the corner of the ring.
At the start of the second hour the long awaited Shawn Michaels and Triple H match is supposed to take part but as HHH makes his entrance, Owen Hart attacks him from behind and gets some good shots in before security manages to drag him away. Michaels and Chyna rush out to check on Helmsley and the three of them protest to Sgt. Slaughter that the match should be cancelled. He does at least let them move the match to later but with the Commissioner smiling away it seems like he enjoyed seeing DX get a little bit of a beating from Owen.

In the back, The New Age Outlaws go hunting for Mankind after his threats earlier and, wearing miner’s helmets with torches, locate a guy in the boiler room and attack him, realising too late that it’s not Mankind. Their quest continues later in the show and they don’t have any more luck, getting spooked by every little noise in the dark but in the third segment, Mankind finds them first and, while singing a Christmas carol, absolutely destroys both Tag Team Champions single handedly with trash cans and weapons. It is still two on one sadly and after hitting him with a beer keg they trap his head in the door of a walk-in freezer and crush his head before forcing him inside and locking the door!

Marc Mero takes on Scott Taylor. The crowd chants for Sable and Jim Ross promises us at home that not only is Sable here, she’s wearing an exceptionally hot outfit. Before the match, Mero thanks all of his fans for braving the cold winter’s night to see him wrestle. Mero is in the Christmas spirit and allows us to see Sable this week who comes out wearing a big reindeer costume. Mero wins with the TKO and then, when he tries to do a second, Tom Brandi runs down to make the save. I’ve corrected my spelling of his surname since last week. He beats up Marvellous Marc and then Sable removes her reindeer costume so we can all see her Miss Claus outfit. She looks great but JR oversold it.

Jackyl's Kurrgan faces Skull of the DOA. The Jackyl cuts a promo throughout the match about how only he has the clarity and vision to save us all and the WWF. He chats to a blonde girl in the front row and presses one of his little stick on jewels onto her forehead too while telling off the WWF’s commentary teams for calling him a cult leader. This is way better than the weird “sort of army guys” gimmick that the Truth Commission had before. I guess the Truth Commission would also make a good name for a cult! Kurrgan picks up the win and then the rest of the Truth Commission and DOA run down to cause a fight. The DOA come armed with 2x4s so they come out on top and The Jackyl has to forcibly lead Kurrgan to the back.
Ken Shamrock faces D’Lo Brown of The Nation. The commentators mention that at the UFC PPV the previous weekend Ken’s younger brother Frank Shamrock won his fight in only 22 seconds which is very impressive. Shamrock wins this nice and quickly with the ankle lock and then as he prepares himself to be jumped by Kama and Faarooq and fight them off. The Rock has a mic and after a weird segue where he asks if we want to know what he thinks about “the gulf crisis” before changing the subject. The Rock continues to talk like he’s the leader of The Nation and they’ll do whatever he says. He gives Shamrock a special Christmas gift - an Intercontinental Championship match with him at the Royal Rumble. JR and Jim Cornette are baffled why he’d offer Shamrock that but it seems like his ego is just so big he thinks he can take the world’s most dangerous man and wants to prove it. At the end of the segment, Faarooq does show signs of being pretty angry at being expected to follow The Rock’s orders and come running just because he said so.

In a pair of backstage segments, JR speaks to Shawn Michaels and Triple H separately about their match tonight and the two of them show no fear and send warnings to the other. Chyna is with both men and both of them were wearing Chyna t-shirts to suck up to her when she’s forced to pick sides later. Funny stuff, this was all great.

Luna leads the Artist Formerly Known as Goldust to the ring, dressed up like a Christmas tree. It seems like what he meant by ditching wife Terri to “be the real him” he mostly meant cross dressing and bondage. It would probably make him a babyface these days but in the closed-minded late 90s it gets him fans chanting the F slur at him and booing him for being weird. For the second time since this storyline began JR calls his outfit “the Elton John collection” which is definitely homophobic. Goldust reads “the night before Christmas” while putting on the same lisping effeminate voice he used at the DX PPV. The “real” Santa comes out and beats up Goldust before removing his hat and beard - it’s Vader-Claus, who will face Goldust the Royal Rumble.

In the main event, Shawn defends the title against Triple H after a while night of build up. The two are slow to lock up and see scared of each other but when they finally do, HBK bumps flat on his back and Triple H does a big comical running of the ropes before hitting the most gentle splash in wrestling history to pick up the win. Shawn Michaels pretends to cry and it's abundantly clear that this was the plan all along. Triple H is the new European Champion, basically given the belt by Shawn Michaels. That’s two weeks in a row that someone has just given away a championship - I guess they just wanted to get the titles onto specific people heading into Wrestlemania season and this was the quickest way to achieve that. Jim Cornette gave away that this was scripted by immediately and instantly rattling off about 35 different words for “scammed” that he’d prepared ahead of time. They end the show laughing and telling Slaughter to suck it but the Commissioner has the last laugh, telling the camera that next week on Raw, Triple H will defend the title against Owen Hart!

Raw is War - December 29th 1997

Raw kicks off with The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust - who’s dressed as a New Year’s Baby - taking on Stone Cold Steve Austin. Jim Ross goes right into homophobia, comparing Goldust to actor Nathan Lane (which he also did last week) and bringing up Elton John again. Goldust calls himself the toughest SOB in the WWF and says that after he spanks Stone Cold tonight, he’ll dress him up as Barbie. Austin marches to the ring not dressed to compete. I think he was still recovering from his neck injury because he’s only “wrestled” twice since Summerslam which was on the last two PPVs and both matches only went 5 or 6 minutes and were mostly a brawl. Austin says that in 1997 he overcame being paralysed so in 1998 he doesn’t have a resolution but does promise more middle fingers, foul language and ass whippings than ever before. He refuses to wrestle “a piece of crap” like Goldust but has a surprise for him and asks for it to be lowered from the arena roof. He actually has to grab the guide rope and help them get it into the ring - it’s a port-a-loo with “Crapper 3:16” on the door. “If you think it stinks like hell in here, gimmie a hell yeah?” Austin says that Goldust is going to get inside it the easy way or the hard way so TAFKA Goldust tries to sneak attack him. It fails and the Rattlesnake beats him up and throws him inside. Goldust tries to escape so gets a Stone Cold Stunner and thrown back inside and then Stone Cold dumps it onto its side for good measure! I’m sure it was clean and empty but can you imagine if it wasn’t? Luna crawls inside to rescue her man. This was silly but I enjoyed it - it was almost 1998, we were only about 18 months away from Jackass becoming a big hit!

In a six man “Long Island brawl”, the DOA take on Los Boricuas. Before the match the commentary trio of Ross, Cole and Kelly show us footage from this feud going all the way back to July so this is basically promoted as the final battle to settle this grudge once and for all. This is a six man match with Jose of the four Los Boricuas excluded but he gets involved and turns it into a 4 vs. 3 affair. It doesn’t matter and Savio accidentally hits one of his own men with a spinning heel kick and the DOA picks up the win. I assumed this was the end but JR says that this rivalry is “far from over”. Why?

After a commercial break, new European Champion Triple H and Chyna are in the ring. The champ has a brace on his leg and is on crutches and explains that during a match last week he dislocated his knee cap. That’s actually true! That means his match with Owen Hart tonight is cancelled, but it also means that The Undertaker is safe from his wrath - he tells him that he’ll need to wait until the Royal Rumble so Shawn Michaels can make him rest in pieces. The lights go out and the Undertaker’s music plays and while most people stand silent and sell how scared they are of The Undertaker, DX plays differently so Triple H talks trash to him the whole time. It’s not the Undertaker himself, but a group of druids rolling (with great difficulty which is a bit funny) a big casket down the ramp to the ring. The casket opens and...it contains Shawn Michaels - DX were messing with us. The casket is heavily graffitied by D-Generation X too. Michaels says that if he worked somewhere else he’d have come out here with “a pair of skanks” which is a shot at WCW. Ric Flair did exactly that on Nitro. Shawn does say there are two new members of DX tonight; Chyna’s breast implants. She’s had a boob job somewhere in the couple of weeks between tapings and Shawn and Triple H have fun staring at them as she smiles away. It’s weird seeing this version of Chyna smile! “1998 is going to be the year of D-Generation X and no one is going to crash our party!” That feels like the end of the promo but Commissioner Slaughter comes out to, presumably, ruin the party. Since Triple H can’t defend his title against Owen Hart tonight, Shawn Michaels can defend his against Owen instead!

There’s more surprises in store tonight; there’s a huge wooden crate on the top of the entrance ramp which we will find out the contents of tonight. Elsewhere, most of Kane’s recent victims have been banding together and plotting against the Big Red Machine for revenge for all the recent chokeslams and Tombstones.

Ken Shamrock faces Kama Mustafa from The Nation. He beat D’Lo last week and has an Intercontinental title match with The Rock in three weeks at the Royal Rumble so this is a straight forward story of Kama trying to soften him up for his teammate. D’Lo and Faarooq are at ringside for this match but there’s no sign of the champion. The Nation tries to cheat but Shamrock avoids Kama’s kick and he knocks D’Lo off the apron instead. Shamrock locks in the ankle lock for a submission victory but before The Nation can attack the World’s most dangerous man The Rock comes out and puts a stop to it. Just like last week he weirdly brings up some current political news asking if the fans want to know what he thinks about the elderly and social security. This “do you want to know what I think about the news this week?” gimmick is very odd and thankfully didn’t last. The Rock tells Ken that next week his luck runs out because he’ll be facing the leader of The Nation of Domination, Faarooq. That looks like news to Faarooq who seems mad that The Rock has not only volunteered him for a match but is giving him orders on when and when not to attack someone.

In a pre-recorded promo, Vince McMahon thanks all of the fans for 1997 and promises 1998 will be the greatest year in the company’s history. He sucks up to the fans a little which I think is intentional and part of his subtle heel turn since Montreal.

Jerry Lawler and Brian Christopher take on Light Heavyweight Champion Taka Michinoku and a mystery partner. Before the match, Lawler has some fun and says that while he is NOT Brian’s dad, Jim Ross is. JR laughs it off so I think that was unscripted. Taka’s surprise partner is Hall of Famer George “the Animal” Steele. He gets a kind reaction from the crowd and Lawler and Christopher react with fear which was good in selling this! The Animal has his trademark green tongue and uses his teeth to tear the turnbuckle pads open. Christopher blocks a hurricanrana attempt into a side down powerbomb which brought Taka down a little high and looked quite unsafe - thankfully he was ok! Taka has the match won with a moonsault but his own partner distracts the referee - maybe he shouldn’t have asked The Animal to help him out. This match is a mess and when Lawler just gets in the ring to beat up Taka and refuses to leave, the referee rings the bell. Steele rampages around a bit and throws things from under the ring into the ring and then chases the referee away. Lawler escaped unscathed so that he could join Jim Ross on commentary for the second hour in the Warzone.

Promoted throughout the first hour, Road Dog (with Bad Ass Billy Gunn for back up) takes on Mankind, seeking revenge for Dude Love. It’s a shame Mick Foley can’t team up with himself but really if he could master quick costume changes under the ring, Mankind and Dude Love could have won the Tag Team titles together! I’m shocked they didn’t do that storyline at some point. On the titantron, Dude Love explains that he can’t face the Outlaws because he came up short a couple of times already and then transforms into Mankind, who thinks that the Outlaws need a special kind of justice and then transforms into Cactus Jack! The show is in Mick Foley’s home town so after some “there’s no place like home” chat he says that he’ll fight them both and comes out carrying a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire! Cactus beats up both men and even locks both Tag Team Champions in the Mandible Claw before settling it down to focus on Road Dog. The LOD aren’t here tonight but during this match, JR breaks the news that the Outlaws will defend the titles against Hawk and Animal at the Royal Rumble. During his pre-match promo, Cactus mentioned having some backup from someone named Chainsaw Charlie, which JR and King assume is another one of Foley’s alter egos. Road Dog uses a steel chair on Cacus but he shakes it off and hits a double arm DDT. Billy rushes into the ring and that finally is enough to cause a disqualification. Cactus wants to keep the fight going and leads them up the entrance ramp. From inside the wooden crate, a chainsaw bursts through and cuts its way out of the box - it contains Chainsaw Charlie, which is Terry Funk dressed up like a horror movie villain! He swings his chainsaw around and he and Cactus Jack chase the Outlaws back down to ringside. Chainsaw didn’t get much of a reaction from the crowd because I think they were very confused by his appearance. Terry Funk would have got a much bigger reaction as himself, but this character was all his own idea.

In the ring, Kevin Kelly interviews Sable who comes down wearing a short robe and pretty clearly wearing nothing but her underwear beneath it. She’s about to disrobe which is basically just to promote this month’s WWF Magazine (which featured a swimsuit photoshoot of both her and Sunny) but Marc Mero comes down and angrily accuses her of trying to humiliate him. He gives Kevin Kelly a low blow and continues to berate Sable until Tom Brandi runs down and attacks Mero. He gets distracted trying to get Sable out of the ring and to safety so Mero blasts him in the back with a steel chair and then delivers the TKO onto it too. Mero is a jealous maniac!

As promised earlier, seven angry men come down to the ring to get their payback on Kane - its the DOA, The Headbangers, Flash Funk and Scott Taylor. My boy Scott has the biggest beef; Kane’s attack knocked him out of the Light Heavyweight Championship tournament! Chainz of the DOA does the speaking and calls out Kane, who slowly matches to the ring. It’s about to get physical but first, The Undertaker’s music hits and comes out too. It seems like it’ll be 8 vs. 1 but The Undertaker turns and joins in with Kane, the two of them clearing the other seven out of the ring! Paul Bearer seems as shocked as everyone else and, when the Deadman leaves he speaks to the camera. “I will burn in hell before I ever fight my brother Kane”. This was an interesting development!

Backstage, Michael Cole tries to ask the New Age Outlaws about their title match with the LOD but they get angry at him for asking about that when there’s a maniac with a chainsaw chasing them around. On cue, the chainsaw bursts through the locker room door and Cactus and Chainsaw explode into the room and chase the champions off.
Jim Cornette has another angry monologue for us; he rants about the state of wrestling in 1998. He shits all over WCW and ECW but focuses his asault on the WWF and its new Attitude. Specifically, his issue is that it's not “sports entertainment” and he wants to see old fashioned, old school wrestling. I’m confident this is exactly what he thought in real life too but this is setting the stage for a new storyline and some new performers. He makes himself sound very old fashioned but this is the same speech he’d give in 2026. His new year’s resolution is to bring some real wrestling and some old school Southern wrestling to the WWF. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler both agree with him, which you’d assume they do in real life too, both being Southern old school wrestling fans themselves.

Throughout the show they heavily promoted that they had “big news” related to Mike Tyson. JR’s big reveal is that Iron Mike is in negotiations to “participate” in Wrestlemania 14. It didn’t get much of a reaction from the live crowd but that was huge news in 1997 as Mike was one of the most famous men alive and was constantly in the news. They’re deliberately vague about what role he might fulfil, making people think he might wrestle on the show.

When the main event begins, Owen Hart dives out of the ring and goes right on the attack against the WWF Champion. The Black Hart beats Michaels up all around the ringside for a while before things settle down in the ring. HBK has Chyna for backup but once the match is underway, Triple H hobbles down to ringside on his crutches for moral support too. This was a great match with Owen getting nearfall after nearfall and the fans were very into it all. He hits the enziguri kick to the head and locks Shawn in the Sharpshooter so Triple H is forced to make the save, smashing one of his crutches over Owen’s head from the outside which obviously causes a disqualification. DX beat up Owen and the final Raw of 1997 ends with Triple H hammering on Owen with his other crutch as the bell rings over and over.