Raw is War - July 23rd 2001

Stone Cold - Leader of the Alliance

After a recap of Stone Cold Steve Austin costing Team WWF the Inaugural Brawl last night at Invason, Stone Cold Steve Austin (with a new, slow and sinister theme song) leads WCW and ECW’s management team to the ring - Paul Heyman, Shane McMahon and Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. The fans don’t give much of a reaction. Much like at the end of Invasion, the fans seem more confused and depressed about this latest heel turn. He does get some “asshole” chants when his music stops but it quickly turns into “slut” chants directed at Stephanie instead. JR and Michael Cole talk a lot about the historical significance of the WWF title now being controlled “by another company”. Stephanie brags about the victory and for the first time refers to WCW and ECW as “the Alliance” which is what this invading stable would become known as. She tells the fans that the WWF will die a slow and painful death at the hands of the Alliance. Heyman gets the mic and after calling Stephanie “boss” rants about how “he told us so” and reiterates what Steph said, calling the WWF the number two brand in sports entertainment. Heyman actually dusts off the tag line for this year’s Backlash as he points at the WWF title belt. “He who has the gold has the power and he who has the power has the gold”. In the background Austin keeps moving from corner to corner, leaning in the buckles.

 I don’t think he’s trying to be funny but it looks a bit silly. Shane then says that this “new brand” will be a better and more entertaining brand with more intelligent fans and then finally introduces the new leader of this new brand, the WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin. They’re focusing on calling this new brand “the Alliance” and phasing out the WCW and ECW names which I’ll talk about more at Summerslam. Austin takes the mic and explains his turning on the WWF - paranoia. Vince McMahon has made him feel underappreciated, he kept hugging Kurt Angle, he’s grooming Kurt Angle to take his place. “What's wrong with Stone Cold Steve Austin?” JR adds “you’re an asshole” which made me laugh. He says he knows who Vince is always on the phone too - he’s calling The Rock! That finally gets a reaction from the fans. Austin appears to have turned on the WWF out of hurt feelings because Vince didn’t make him feel special enough and paranoia that Kurt Angle and The Rock are gunning for his title. So he’s jumped to a team that respects and loves Stone Cold. He says that he will back down from nobody! That brings out Kurt Angle who looks beyond furious. Austin berates Kurt calling him pathetic and a coward as Angle stands in silence before finally rushing the ring and winning the punches exchange, suplexing Austin who bails out of the ring. Angle wants to fight but Austin has turned chicken and leaves, ushered by Heyman and the McMahon children.

Backstage, Edge and Christian run into Bubba and D-Von Dudley. Bubba compliments them on winning but says that they won the main event, Edge (correctly) points out that they got their asses kicked and only won thanks to Austin. They agree to a match tonight, and then WCW and US Champion Booker T arrives and takes issue with them saying Team WCW/ECW only won because of Austin and tells them to find a friend and make it a six man tag tonight instead. Bubba says that they should make the six man a tag team table elimination match. That just means that to win you have to put all three members of the team through a table rather than just one. Later Edge and Christian recruited Kurt Angle to be their partner.

In the WWF locker room, Bradshaw and Faarooq complement Kurt Angle on the toughness he’s shown and amp him up as the leader of the WWF locker room. They encourage him to drink a beer with them in celebration for kicking Austin’s ass at the start of the show and it gets a big pop - it might be the first beer the dorky Kurt Angle has ever had! 

Backstage, Kurt Angle goes to see Mr. McMahon who asks if Kurt has been drinking (which gets a laugh). Kurt says that he heard what Vince said about The Rock (see the next section) and he’s all in favour of his return - he wants anyone who can help the WWF - but says that while The Rock is special, he needs a real leader for Team WWF and volunteers himself. He talks up his own accomplishments (won a gold medal, has three Is) which he’s always done as a bad guy but now he’s getting cheered for it. Vince says that Kurt might be right and challenges him to go and show him - actions speak louder than words. Kurt takes that on board and shoves Vince up against the wall! “You want action, you’ll get action as only an American Hero can give!”

Backstage, Shane McMahon hypes up The Dudleyz and Booker T ahead of tonight’s six man tables main event. He especially wants Kurt Angle to pay for putting his hands on Stone Cold earlier. 

In the main event the elimination rules mean we’re guaranteed to see at least three men go through tables. Booker T looks awesome with his two title belts, and it’s so odd to see the Edge, Christian and Kurt Angle trio as babyfaces. Kurt is focused and all business as he wants to show Mr. McMahon (and Stone Cold) that he is a leader. During Booker’s entrance, his trademark breakdancing taunt finally gets its name on WWF TV as JR and Cole talk with disgust about the Spinarooni. After wrestling this as a straight six man tag for a bit, The Dudleyz put Christian through a table with a 3D and Booker T puts Edge through a table with a spinebuster, effectively leaving this as a 3 on 1 match for Kurt Angle and to win, he has to put all three opponents through tables so it seems impossible. Kurt takes a beating for a while with a formerly Wazzup headbutt and they set up a table to finish this. Kurt blocks Booker’s suplex attempt and fights back with suplexes and right hands, fighting off all three men. With an overhead belly to belly suplex Kurt sends D-Von through a table…or does he? The table doesn’t break and he bounces safely to the otherside. Whoops. He sets the table back up and with a second attempt, it does break! Kurt does the same to Booker T in the ring and has the same issue - the table doesn’t break again. He sets it up in the corner and whips Booker into it, breaking it. He’s basically had to win this match twice because the tables won’t break. That makes it a one on one table match between Kurt and Bubba Dudley. WWF referee Earl Hebner is knocked down and WCW’s Nick Patrick comes down to take his place. Kurt reverses a powerbomb into an Angle slam but Nick Patrick moves the table out of the way! Kurt snaps and locks Patrick in the ankle lock on the outside of the ring but that brings Stone Cold sprinting to the ring.

He attacks Angle with fury, dropping him with a Stone Cold Stunner. Sadly the fans chant “Rocky” expecting him to make the save because he was mentioned earlier. Bubba powerbombs Kurt through the table at Austin’s urging but fortunately Kane, Jericho and the APA are there to stop the beating from continuing any further. Raw ends with Stone Cold running away from a fight as his new, much worse theme song plays.

Suspension Lifted

WWF Owner Vince McMahon finally arrives towards the end of the show. During his entrance, JR really emphasises that he might not be the most popular but he’s a brave general leading them into battle. Big babyface now. Vince says that last night at Invasion the Alliance might have won a battle but they won’t win the war. He says Austin jumping ship was like dropping an atomic bomb so he’s going to drop one of his own. He’s going to do something he should have done a long time ago and lift the suspension of a certain WWF Superstar. He builds it up before reinstating The Rock, which gets a huge cheer and a “Rocky” chant. Stone Cold is shown watching backstage, staring intensely at the monitor. Vince says that he knows The Rock might not come back to the WWF and that if The Rock does come back it won’t be because of Mr. McMahon, it’ll be in spite of him. He asks The Rock to come back to the WWF and challenges him to “bring it” and layeth the Smack down. He ends by telling The Rock not to listen to him - listen to the people who are chanting his name. He says he wants to smell what The Rock is cooling, and The Rock’s theme music plays.

Some New Faces and an Alliance Gold Rush

In the ECW locker room, the new Hardcore champion Rob Van Dam tells the rest of the crew that he showed Jeff Hardy why they call him Mr. PPV and tonight he’s going to show Matt Hardy why they call him Mr. Monday Night.

That match is next and is for RVD’s Hardcore title but Matt’s European title is not at stake. RVD gets a decent babyface reaction when he comes out. This is another great match with Matt giving Van Dam a hip toss from the top of a ladder and following with a leg drop which looked awesome but only got a two count. Van Dam sandwiches Matt inside the ladder and drills him with a Five Star Frog Splash to retain the title. JR and Cole are very complimentary about Van Dam’s in ring skills but do also hammer home that he hates the WWF and the WWF fans. 

Lance Storm challenges Albert for the WWF Intercontinental title. Before the match he says that the Alliance has the WWF title and the WWF Hardcore title so tonight he’s going to add the WWF Intercontinental title too. The over 300lbs Albert throws him around with ease but with a ton of help from Mike Awesome, Hugh Morrus and a shot to the head with the IC ttle belt, Lance Storm wins another WWF title. That brings the locker room out as a ton of WWF and Alliance superstars fill the ring. Way way too many for me to list so just assume it's literally everyone (including main eventers Kane and Chris Jericho). The WWF cleared the ring and stands tall but the bottom line is that Lance Storm is the new WWF Intercontinental Champion. Jericho’s music plays and the camera focuses on him so I’d have put money on him being the man charged with winning it back. 

Backstage Chris Kanyon gets his first on screen speaking role as (wearing an Invasion MVP t-shirt) speaks to his long time buddy DDP. Kanyon says that he single handedly won his six man tag and so the way he sees it he won the night for the Alliance. He gives us his catchphrase “who better than Kanyon?!”

Later, in the Alliance locker room as the McMahon’s and Heyman clap and cheer for Stone Cold (including Debra who now seems to have just embraced her husband’s heel turn) Kanyon bursts in and sucks up to Austin. Stephanie tells him to go and focus on his match with Chris Jericho and proving how good he is.

Before his match with Kanyon, Chris Jericho cuts a promo calling him annoying and goes around ringside asking fans their names and declaring them better than Kanyon. One of them is a pretty blonde and the fans cheer, whoop and holler while she's on screen because the fans were just as gross in 2001 as they were in 1999.

Kanyon rushes the ring looking angry and the match starts quickly. Kanyon puts up a good fight and looks pretty strong, countering the Lionsault but with a Walls of Jericho, Y2J picks up the victory by submission. Between Kanyon, Lance Storm and Rob Van Dam it’s nice to see some new WCW and ECW faces get a little spotlight and build.

Other Happenings

• The Raw intro has been updated to include Edge - not Edge and Christian, just Edge so you know they have big plans for him - and a lot more Kurt Angle.
• Elsewhere, Torrie Wilson and Stacey Kiebler talk about how their boobs are nicer than Trish Stratus’ and that Torrie will beat Trish in a Spanking match tonight, whatever that is.
• In the Commissioner’s office, William Regal laments the WWF championships that are now under Alliance control and tells Tajiri to get a win for the WWF against Raven tonight. That match is next and Tajiri is as good as his word, lighting up Raven with kicks and winning the match. 
• Backstage, Paul Heyman motivates the last ever ECW Champion Rhyno ahead of his match with The Undertaker tonight. He amps him up with all the victories the Alliance has scored and titles they’ve won and says that Rhyno beating a WWF Legend like Undertaker would be another nail in the coffin. Rhyno is sinister.

• Undertaker enters with his wife Sara by his side. He’s still concerned about DDP and is keeping her close for protection. This would be a huge victory for Rhyno but in a back and forth match, Undertaker plants him with a chokeslam and wins. At the end of the match, DDP comes to ringside and intimidates Sara but Undertaker sees him and goes after him, beating him up into the crowd and back, bouncing him from pillar to post with punches. In the ring, Sara stomps on Page as Undertaker gets a steel chair to use as a weapon. I’m not sure what DDP’s plan was here but it backfired badly. Taker swings with a steel chair but Page pulls Sara in front of him and Undertaker blasts his own wife across the back with a really stiff chairshot! Holy shit! DDP escapes as Undertaker tends to his fallen wife. After a commercial break Undertaker carries his unconscious wife backstage trying to wake her up and stupidly refuses medical attention for her, telling everyone to leave them alone! Out in the parking lot DDP leaves in a hurry but Johnathan Coachman stops him for a quick interview where he seems almost sexually aroused by what happened. 

• At WWF New York, Billy Gunn and The Big Show talk about how if they’d been in the main event at Invasion Team WWF would have won. They didn’t even win their own six man tag against some midcarders. Billy says that they need to take themselves seriously and show everyone what a threat they can be.
• Torrie Wilson goes to see Jeff Hardy and makes comments about spanking. Trish - Torrie’s opponent tonight who’s been flirting with Jeff lately - shows up and attacks her in a jealous rage. It remains pretty difficult to defend how women were booked during this era. That leads into “the spanking match” which JR and Cole say is the first one ever. That’s not true - Trish and Stephanie McMahon had a spanking match back in February. This is more of a “paddle on a pole” match however which is probably what they should have called it. They fight, Trish gets the paddle but Torrie uses it first and “wins” this spanking match. I’m surprised Torrie won so cleanly here and the segment ends without any further drama.

Smackdown! - July 26th, 2001

Hometown (Olympic) Hero

Paul Heyman, Shane McMahon and Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley make their way to the ring. I have to mention that Stephanie’s breasts look much, much larger than they did a few months ago. I wouldn’t normally comment on something like that but as we’ll see in the coming weeks, multiple WWF babyfaces particularly Chris Jericho will start making tons of on air jokes about it. Stephanie cuts almost word for word the same promo she did on Raw about “telling us so” but then brings out every champion in the Alliance - the WCW Tag Team Champions Chuck Palumno and Sean O’Haire, the WCW Cruiserweight Champion Billy Kidman, the WWF Hardcore Champion Rob Van Dam, the WWF Intercontinental Champion Lance Storm, the combined WCW United States and WCW World Champion Booker T (who then brings out “Invasion MVP” Chris Kanyon who he gives the WCW United States title. Kanyon has tears in his eyes and drops to his knees in joy with the title belt) and finally the WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin. This is an awesome show of force by the Alliance. The collected champions all clap and applaud for Stone Cold who has gone from being the ultimate badass to running away from fights and needing constant reassurance. He’s a paranoid wreck!

Before anyone else can speak, Kurt Angle comes out onto the stage. The fans are deafening cheering for Kurt Angle - they’re in his hometown. He says they can brag about all their gold but none of them will ever have his Olympic Gold (which used to get him booed but gets him a big cheer tonight). Kurt milks the hometown crowd reaction for all its worth as Austin either smirks like a heel or struggles not to laugh (I think it's the latter) and challenges Austin to a WWF title match tonight! Austin calls Kurt selfish for wanting his gold and after running down Pennsylvania, says that he’ll fight Kurt but not tonight. He looks around sheepishly and throws Booker T under the bus offering him a shot at the WCW title instead. Austin goads Booker by saying Kurt called him “a suckah!” and Kurt then says that he IS “a suckah!”. They’re both so white. Booker debuts his “tell me he did not just say that” catchphrase and agrees. Kurt says he’s going to take Booker’s title tonight and at a later date he’ll take Stone Cold’s too! 

In the Alliance locker room the WWF Champion hypes up the WCW Champion, encouraging Booker T to beat and embarrass Kurt Angle in his home town tonight.

In the main event and in his hometown, the de facto leader of the WWF locker room Kurt Angle faces Booker T for the WCW World Championship. JR and Cole really hammer home how demoralised the WWF is after losing the Invasion main event, Austin defecting and the Alliance having three WWF titles in their control and so this match is a must win for Kurt. He must get the WWF back on a winning roll. Before the match, Booker and Kurt have a stare down and try to work the crowd a little but as is standard, Earl Hebner is far far too busy making it all about him, getting between them and repeatedly asking Booker to hand him the title belt to let them do that. I despise that man. The number of moments he’s ruined in these shows, big and small must be in the hundreds. How many big title victories were tarnished forever because he was standing in front of the winner, blocking the camera and making sure he was on screen the whole time. Do you have any idea how many screenshots I’ve struggled to get on these shows because Earl Hebner wouldn’t GET out of the WAY? Anyway, Kurt is aggressive and throws Booker around with suplexes and beats him up on the outside until he misses a moonsault and Booker takes over. It doesn’t totally make sense that a WWF referee is calling this WCW title match anyway but they’ve said every match’s referee is decided by a coin flip for fairness. Kurt gets control of the match and seems to have the title won but a bunch of Alliance members rush the ring followed by the WWF locker room and as the referees are distracted by the mass brawl on the outside, Kanyon gets into the ring and knocks out Kurt with a steel chair. The fighting is finally cleared away from ringside and Booker crawls into a cover but Kurt Angle kicks out! Booker keeps going for covers after each move but he keeps kicking out! The referee is knocked down as Angle hits the Angle slam and locks in the ankle lock. Booker taps out but there’s no referee to call it. Stone Cold runs to the ring and drops Kurt with a Stone Cold Stunner! He leaves with his work done but Angle springs to life and locks in the ankle lock! The referee is back up and sees the tap out and despite all the odds being stacked and all the interference, Kurt Angle wins the WCW World title in his hometown! The Alliance has the WWF title but now the WWF has the WCW title!

Courting the People’s Champion

They replay Vince’s plea on Raw for The Rock to return to the WWF with lots of added footage of his greatest moments. It was quite misleading really as they show a graphic on the screen that seems to suggest Rock will be here tonight. JR does confirm that The Rock will be on Raw to tell us when and if he’s coming back. In the Alliance locker room, Booker T rants about how he doesn’t care about The Rock and “screw” The Rock. Stone Cold suggests that maybe The Rock will join the Alliance instead which sends JR into a melt down on commentary. “What do they know that we don’t know?!”

Backstage, Shane tells Heyman and Steph that he wants to remind The Rock what kind of man Vince McMahon is. He’s trying to convince The Rock to join the Alliance. He heads off with a VHS tape, and then after a commercial break heads down to the ring. Shane introduces the video and, set to No Chance in Hell, it’s a montage of all the times Vince and Rock have been at odds for the past several years with clips going all the way back to 1998. It loops and repeats a lot. Back in the arena, the crowd is absolutely silent after the video and I don’t really know how to take that. He ends by asking Rock to tell Vince to shove his invitation and join the Alliance when he returns on Raw.

Who Better than the new US Champ?

The new WCW United States Champion goes to see Commissioner Regal and says he wants a rematch with Chris Jericho tonight (but not for the title) and after making fun of his lisp (mean) Regal says that since he won’t defend the title it can be a tag match instead - Chris Jericho and Tajiri against Kanyon and a partner of his choice. Kanyon says it’ll be Rob Van Dam. If you’re wondering why they’ve decided to give so much TV time, a push and a championship to Kanyon it’s mostly because he is a very good wrestler and an entertaining guy who was very well liked in the locker room.

Chris Jericho teams with Tajiri against US Champion Kanyon and Hardcore Champion Rob Van Dam. JR and Cole are all OVER Kanyon about the fact that he was “handed” the US title earlier. JR goes on and on about how it's “just like corporate America” which I’m sure is a reference to something because he says it about 12 times. Kanyon hits Tajiri with the US title belt and RVD follows with a Five Star Frog Splash to win the match for his team. 

“You’re Welcome”

Tonight Lance Storm is scheduled to make his first Intercontinental title defence tonight against Perry Saturn. Lance goes to see Perry and tells him that he will not bring Moppy to ringside as title matches are serious business and he will not make a mockery of his first title match. “You’re welcome” Later in a different segment Perry can’t find Moppy and runs into Terri who’s abducted it. She yells at him for paying the Mop more attention than her and makes him choose - the mop, or her. He picks Moppy! 

Lance Storm defends the Intercontinental title against Perry Saturn (w/Moppy). Despite his goofy brain damaged gimmick, Perry is still a very good wrestler. Storm sees Moppy and gets frustrated that it wasn’t left backstage as he requested and tries to break it. Saturn loses his temper and uses Moppy as a weapon, hitting Storm in the face and getting disqualified. He’s lost his temper and keeps the attack going, diving out of the ring and beating Storm up the ramp with the mop.

Other Happenings

• The name change of the WCW and ECW co-alition to “The Alliance” is official as of this Smackdown as they’re referred to exclusively as the Alliance on commentary and in ring announcements. There’s a reason for that while I’ll discuss at Summerslam.
• The opening match is WWF European Champion Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy vs. WCW Cruiserweight Champion Billy Kidman and “Hurricane” Helms. Not sure when he changed his name from Shane but Hurricane Helms is a much better name and is the one that he’s far, far better known as now. JR is very complimentary of the two WCW talents in this match calling them both fan favourites despite being in the Alliance. With help from a hurricanrana by Lita on Kidman, a Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb combo gives The Hardyz the victory over Helms.

• Backstage The Big Show approaches his new tag partner Billy Gunn and suggests The Show Gunns as their team name. Billy isn’t into it but Show talks him around. They mock each other’s previous nicknames like “Rockabilly” and “The Big Slow”. Gunn teased Show about his weight, which he also did on Raw at WWF New York. I’m not sure how that helps anyone.

• The Dudley Boyz take on the newly christened tag team of The Show-Gunns. Don’t sweat not remembering this team - it doesn’t last. The Dudleyz win clean with a 3D so it seems that a name change isn’t enough to change Show and Billy’s fortunes. How far they’ve both fallen. 
• Kane takes on Diamond Dallas Page. Lots of personal heat in this match of course given what DDP has done to Kane’s brother and sister-in-law and DDP being sexually excited by the pain and anguish he caused Sara on Raw when she was hit by that chair. Undertaker isn’t here tonight we’re told as he’s at home taking care of Sara. This is a short but physical match. DDP gets a steel chair but Kane unarms him and uses it to get disqualified. As Kane is distracted threatening referee Nick Patrick, DDP cracks him with a chair shot to the back and runs away. Kane is unphased by that chair shot and plants Nick Patrick with a chokeslam and celebrates anyway.
• There’s an extended clip recapping this week’s episode of the Tough Enough reality show. I’ve captured it as it's often covered on Smackdown but this one gives the best idea of what the show was like. Of note there’s future WWE and TNA commentator Josh Matthews and eventual winner Maven. 

• Edge and Christian are looking for Kurt Angle backstage but find Tazz in their locker room instead. They make fun of him and he laughs it off but when they leave his smirk turns to a scowl. 
• Following their interaction earlier, Tazz has recruited Rhyno as his tag team partner to take on Rhyno’s former good friends Edge and Christian. Rhyno misses when trying to Gore Edge but he hits Tazz by mistake and Christian covers to get a victory for the 7 time WWF Tag Team Champions.

Raw is War - July 30th, 2001

Finally…

Backstage in Mr. McMahon’s office he has a ton of banners and signage set up to welcome back The Rock. He’s joined by William Regal and Tajiri carrying a stack of pies (Rock loves pie). Regal shows off all his pies and when they notice the blueberry pie is missing a slice, Tajiri looks shifty and raises a people’s eyebrow. He’s the best. Regal tells him to go and bring the Hardcore title back to the WWF. (which he failed to do, see the other sections)

In the Alliance locker room they’ve set up a similar setup to Vince with banners and balloons. Austin has a custom beer cooler and Debra has baked him a plate of cookies too. Referee Nick Patrick comes in and says that The Rock is almost here so Stephanie and Shane rush off to meet him. Booker is upset that everyone is so excited about The Rock so Stone Cold has him try one of Deba’s cookies. The former WCW Champion looks like he’s about to vomit as Austin tells him to show no mercy in his no disqualification WCW title match tonight (he was more successful than Tajiri, also see the other sections)

In the parking lot as all three McMahon’s excitedly wait for The Rock, a limo pulls up. It’s only WCW United States Champion Chris Kanyon and everyone is very disappointed.

In Mr. McMahon’s office as he laments Kurt having the WCW title stolen, William Regal arrives with some good news. Not only is The Rock on his way, he’s in the limo with the license plate “Rocky 1” which is the car that Vince sent to the airport for him. That’s a good omen for the WWF.

Out in the parking lot, Vince and Regal for the WWF and Shane and Stephanie for the Alliance continue to wait for The Rock. The “Rocky 1” limo arrives only for Mr. McMahon to find Howard Finkle inside instead. Shane and Steph laugh at their dad and decide to go down to the ring and wait for The Rock instead of waiting outside and so Vince decides to do the same thing. 

Late in the show we get a shot of The Rock outside the arena making sure we all know he’s here. We also get a couple of “walking to the ring” shots of the McMahons leading into our main event segment - will The Rock return and if he does will it be to the WWF or the Alliance? Vince, Shane and Stephanie are all together in the ring but the ongoing stalemate keeps them respectful - there’s no point throwing a punch as the locker rooms would just empty and we’d get another war at ringside. Eventually The Rock’s music (a new version of it) hits and fans explode for the return of The People’s Champion.

The Rock takes his time posing for the fans as the McMahons bicker and argue with each other in the background. Shane starts by reminding The Rock about the last time he was on TV - him being screwed over by Vince at both Wrestlemania and the next night on Raw. He even brings up that Vince screwed him over at Wrestlemania 2000. This is all well and good but Stone Cold is just as guilty of those first two and Shane’s asking Rock to stand side by side with the WWF Champion in the Alliance. Shane gets “asshole” and “shane’s a pussy” chants as he speaks. Then it’s Vince’s turn and he’s very honest - he did screw over The Rock in the past and regrets backing Stone Cold against The Rock now, but he can’t promise he won’t screw him again. He says they might be at odds in the future but right here and now he’s asking him to trust the devil he knows instead of the devil he doesn’t. He ends by asking The Rock to come back to the WWF not for him, but for The People. Vince definitely made the stronger case here. The Rock has finally had enough and pulls Vince into a Rock Bottom! Shane runs around the ring celebrating as the fans boo…until The Rock turns his attention to Shane. He gives him a big smile and shakes his hand before pulling him into a Rock Bottom too! Stphanie runs away as The Rock drops a People’s Elbow on Shane while Heyman and JR scream at each other trying to figure out what this means - he still hasn’t picked a side! He picks up a mic. “Finally, The Rock has come back…to the WWF!” The fans explode and JR screams himself hoarse in victory to end Raw. 

Title Changes and Challenges

After an energetic recap of his title victory on Smackdown, Michael Cole interviews the new WCW World Champion Kurt Angle. He makes some highly specific American TV references that I don’t get but does end by saying that he’s better than Booker T and mocks him for crying when he loses. The crowd laughs as obviously Angle cries all the time. He says he knows he’s better than Stone Cold too and promises that his title is next. He challenges Stone Cold to a WWF title match at Summerslam.

Back in the Alliance locker room, Austin continues to try and motivate Kurt Angle. Stone Cold continues to be the funniest heel in wrestling as he talks about Debra’s cookies giving him diarrhoea and singing songs. Both get a laugh. 

In a no-disqualification match, Booker T challenges Kurt Angle to regain his WCW World title. Kurt looks awesome with the WCW title belt around his waist. Booker T has Shane O’Mac at ringside with him and Booker rushes the ramp and starts the match early. Within seconds, a bunch of Alliance members run down and attack Kurt 5 or 6 on one. He takes a Gore from Rhyno and then multiple WWF superstars run down to join the right. The crowd fight away from ringside separated by both WCW and WWF referees but Kurt Angle is hurt. I laughed out loud as it cut to Booker and Shane in the crowd cowering behind the security wall.

Back from the commercial break the match begins with Booker fresh as a daisy and Kurt showing the effects of that attack and Gore. He fights back anyway and throws Booker around with suplexes despite Shane’s distractions and interference. The match progresses with the fighting WWF and Alliance factions shown to be still brawling backstage. Angle drops Booker with an Angle slam and locks in the ankle lock but Stone Cold runs to the ring to break that up. Kurt sees it coming and fights him off but Booker follows with a Scissors kick. Angle kicks out so Stone Cold drops him with a Stunner and that is enough to keep Kurt down. Booker T grains the WCW World title! Angle gets up and sprints after Austin leaving Booker to celebrate his 5th WCW title win in the ring with Shane. Austin and Kurt run through the back all the way to the parking lot - Austin escapes in his pickup truck leaving Angle shouting swear words after him. It is very WCW to have the title change hands twice in one week.

After a commercial break Kurt Angle encounters Austin’s wife Debra. He does something that her husband doesn’t have the guts to do - he bites a cookie and tells her it sucks. He says that her husband sucks too and to tell the Rattlesnake that when he gets him in the ring he’s going to break his ankle.

In the Alliance locker room as they celebate Booker T’s title win with champagne, a furious Kurt Angle explodes into the room attacking everyone and chasing Booker T out of a rear exit! 

History making champions

2001 King of the Ring Edge and Christian take on the historic team of WCW United States Champion Chris Kanyon and WWF Intercontinental Champion Lance Storm. Before the match, Storm tries to lecture Edge and Christian on their “off-beat shenanigans” but they cut him off and start the fight. This is a good match with slick, smooth exchanges but the fans start chanting “boring” which must be directed at Lance Storm’s gimmick. Edge has the match won with an Impaler DDT but Kanyon drops Edge face first onto the IC title belt which allows Storm to steal the victory. That’s the story of this whole night - the Alliance stealing victories. 

Another historic match on Raw with no build up as the WCW Cruiserweight Champion Billy Kidman faces the WWF Light Heavyweight Champion X-Pac with both of their titles on the line. I’ll talk about this in depth when I sum up the whole Invasion but It seems crazy that such a big (on paper) match is taking place like this. Much like with RVD and Tajiri earlier this is another really good, fast paced match. Pac tries to work as a babyface and get the fans on his side but he’s continually met with boos and “X-Pac sucks” chants anyway. He’s the only heel in the WWF who’s stayed heel since the Invasion started. X-Pac counters a top rope hurricanrana into an X-Factor which looked awesome and X-Pac becomes a double champion and the first man to hold a WWF and WCW title simultaneously. 

Commentary Changes

The show opens with Tazz heading down to the ring for a match with Tommy Dreamer and Paul Heyman. Heyman and Dreamer go to the announce desk and with Tazz on the mic, he declares that Tommy should take Cole backstage and “by decree of Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley”, Paul Heyman and Tazz will resume their respective commentary positions on Raw and Smackdown. Heyman shouts “let the bodies hit the floor” which is a reference to Summerslam’s theme song. It’ll almost certainly be edited off the WWE Network but I’ve got you guys. Heyman actually says it all night long. Tazz says that tonight on Raw, two things will happen. Number one, Booker T will regain his WCW title from Kurt Angle, and number two, The Rock will return and join The Alliance. Before he can keep talking, Chris Jericho comes out to cut Tazz off. Heyman and Tazz’s return to commentary is very welcome from me personally. He tells Tazz to shut up - this is just a promo where he hits all his catchphrases but he does at least reference Tough Enough on which Tazz was still a trainer/judge etc. He runs to the ring and the match begins with Y2J using a bulldog and Lionsault to very quickly defeat Tazz, leading Heyman in stunned silence. JR and Heyman’s commentary was always most enjoyable when they bickered and now they’re really at odds.

Other Happenings

• Rob Van Dam defends the WWF hadcore title against Tajiri. Heyman gets up on the announce desk to cheer for his ECW boy RVD. This is a great match with lots of kick trading exchanges which get a round of applause from the fans. With a Five Star Frog Splash onto a steel chair, RVD wins a very good match to retain his Hardcor title. Could have watched these two wrestle for another 10 minutes. 
• Backstage as Vince McMahon rushes off to meet The Rock, he runs into The Big Show who shows off his self made “Big All Over” t-shirt and wants to talk about he and Billy Gunn’s new team. He suggests lots of names and merch ideas but Vince isn’t interested. He sarcastically suggests “Double Trouble” but Big Show likes it. 

• The Dudley Boyz have challenged Undertaker and Kane to a tables match. Before the match there’s a video recap of the DDP/Undertaker feud last week where Sara was hit with a steel chair. Before the match, Bubba and D-Von taunt Taker about not being able to keep his wife safe and promise to put her through a table tonight. The match begins as a chaotic brawl all around the ringside and into the crowd. Undertaker has the match won with a chokeslam to D-Von through the table but Alliance referee Nick Patrick moves the table and saves him. The distraction allows DDP to slip into the ring and drop Undertaker with a Diamond Cutter! He tries to help thm put Sara through a table but she fights off Bubba long enough for her husband to save her and the Deadman drives Bubba through a table to win the match instead. DDP quickly runs away from the ring leaving the Brothers of Destruction to celebrate in the ring with an unharmed Sara. 

• In a mixed tag team match, WWF European Champion Matt Hardy and Lita face Hurricane Helms and Torrie Wilson. No one has specified why Shane Helms is now Hurricane Helms yet but that will become very clear soon. Torrie is…not a good wrestler, obviously. Torrie botches the finish as Matt sets up a Twist of Fate and Torrie was obviously supposed to stop him with a low blow. Matt holds Helms for an eternity waiting for it but in the end has to hit the move. He visibly tells Torrie to give him a low blow anyway and Helms no-sells the Twist of Fate and rolls up Matt to steal the victory.
• At WWF New York, Test is there. JR says that last time he was on Raw his loyalty was being questioned. Test says he’s had a couple of weeks to cool off and calm down and even though he is good friends with Shane McMahon his loyalty is to the WWF and he hopes Kurt Angle retains the title tonight.

Smackdown! - August 2nd, 2001

Summerslam’s WWF title match is set. And some stuff about cookies.

The show opens with Kurt Angle fresh off losing his WCW title back to Booker T on Raw. He’s challenged Stone Cold for the WWF title at Summerslam which is a challenge which hasn’t been accepted yet. You know Kurt’s a good guy now as his talk about the local sports team is all positive now. He says he’s planning on learning to surf this summer but more importantly planning on winning the WWF title. He’s talking about the Austin match at Summerslam like it’s definitely happening so I guess it’s confirmed. He talks about all the great things Americans can do and says that at Summerslam when the fans chant USA, it’ll stand for “U Submit to Angle”! The show is in Washington D.C and so he asks the fans to let him lead them in the pledge of allegiance and welcomes the fans to join in. He then leads the entire arena in the pledge of allegiance which as a non-American made me feel nothing. He’s eventually interrupted by the WWF Intercontinental Champion Lance Storm who comes out waving a Canadian flag. Storm tells Kurt that he only has an Olympic gold medal because he never faced a Canadian. Kurt says that he actually did and he beat him in the second round in about a minute. That’s a good line. Storm says that studies have proven that America has high crime, low education and one of the worst healthcare systems in the world. He is right. Kut responds by saying he’ll add to the crime rate by kicking his ass. Typical American - he has no actual response to the data. Storm challenges Kurt to a match and he accepts but as he tries to talk, Lance drops him with a superkick and leaves the Olympian laying. That match will take place later in the show.

Backstage, Alliance member Shawn Staziak runs into Stone Cold and tells him what Kurt said and that he’s challenged him again. Stone Cold teases him pretending he doesn’t know who he is and then encouraging him. He gets a laugh when Shawn walks off and he leans into Debra and asks who the hell he was. 

Stone Cold is getting a coffee and runs into Stacey Kiebler. He knows who she is. She offers one of her cookies and he seems to love it. She walks off and his wife Debra arrives and is angry at the Rattlesnake for enjoying another woman’s cookies. He can tell she’s upset and blurts out “I missed you” which makes the crowd laugh. He’s too entertaining to be a bad guy! 

Backstage Lance Storm goes to see Stone Cold and promises to soften him up for Summerslam. He asks if Austin is going to accept Kurt’s challenge. Debra jumps up and says that of COURSE he will but the WWF Champion remains cagey and still hasn’t officially accepted. 

Back in the Austin locker room he whines that he’s hungry but still refuses to eat his wife’s cookies. She’s offended so he rants at her about how unreasonable and selfish she is and tells her to get the hell out. In the next segment Debra enters the arena and heads down to the ring with a smile and a platter of cookies. The logos flashing on the screen behind her denote that she is an official member of the Alliance along with her husband. She trips and stumbles over her words as she says that she’s baked a special batch of cookies for the fans here tonight. She hands them out and the fans seem to quite enjoy them but eventually Stone Cold Steve Austin comes out to tell her off for making this “the Debra show” and tries to talk about Kurt Angle’s Summerslam challenge and The Rock threatening him but she snatches the mic again. The pair of them go back and forth arguing until Debra’s had enough and tell him to be ashamed of himself for how he treats his wife. He continues to ignore her and turns around right into a shot to the head with the cookie tray!

He bounces back up to his feet looking shocked and yells at her to come back. She leaves as Austin eats the cookies off the mat and says he loves them after all! He realises that he’s embarrassing himself and puts his focus back on Kurt Angle. People have been asking him all night and he finally does accept the challenge. He doesn’t pledge allegiance, he pledges to whip Kurt’s red, white and blue ass. He finishes by kicking the cookies out of the ring as his new much worse theme song plays. They’re going for slow and sinister but it's just a bit lame.

In a non-title match, the WWF Intercontinental Champion Lance Storm faces Kurt Angle. Kurt is all smiles when he comes out presumably because Stone Cold has now officially accepted his Summerslam challenge. This is a really good match. Storm shows a lot of aggression and dominates Kurt, busting open his eye and his mouth. Lance talks a little bit too much trash and Kurt loses his temper, firing up and beating Storm all around the ring and finishing him with an Angle slam and ankle lock combo in the ring for the submission victory. Really strong performance from Lance even in defeat. 

People’s Champ meets WCW Champ

In a dark room, Diamond Dallas Page talks to someone off screen about how he knows she’s a bad girl really and she needs a bad boy like him. The camera pans around and it’s a big wall of hidden camera photos of Sara. He gets in close and talks about her like he’s obsessed with her. When it all started it was just to get to the Undertaker but now? He wants to be her man. This would be more believable if it wasn’t common knowledge that Page’s wife in real life is one of the most beautiful women in wrestling history, Kimberley Page. She was in the movie 40 Year Old Virgin too.

The Rock enters the arena to a monster reaction. He explains why he chose the WWF - for The People, as you’d expect. He says he was born in the WWF and he’ll never leave the WWF. He’s funny but turns his focus to serious business. He also came back for payback on Stone Cold Steve Austin. He says he’s waited 4 months but he refuses to wait 4 more seconds and calls out the WWF Champion right now. Instead it's the WCW Champion Booker T who comes out and says that The Rock is in neither he nor Stone Cold’s league. The Rock cuts him off and gives us an all time “who in the blue hell are you?” and “it doesn’t matter what your name is!” combo on Booker T. He looks furious. Booker T says that he’s here to challenge The Rock’s “punk ass” (which I like as an insult) to a match at Summerslam. Rock continues to be incredibly dismissive of the WCW Champion which feels like its doing more harm than good. Rock doesn’t want to wait til Summerslam and tells Booker to come down for a fight tonight but Shane McMahon rushes out to calm Book down instead. Shane tells The Rock to respect Booker T, and says he doesn’t want him in the Alliance anymore and challenges him to a street fight on Raw. The Rock makes some gay jokes about them, and accepts the challenge. The Rock’s first match in four months will be a street fight with Shane McMahon on the August 6th Raw is War.

Back in the Commissioner’s office, William Regal and Tajiri (but mostly Regal) discuss that tonight’s main event is supposed to be Undertaker vs. Booker T but no one has seen Undertaker since that DDP video earlier. Do you think he’s gone looking for him? Later after the Angle/Storm match Undertaker does arrive. He says he’s been gone looking for DDP and is outraged that his match with Booker T is a non-title match. Regal suggests Taker go and convince Booker to put his title on the line. He guarantees that it will be a title match tonight in the main event. 

In Booker T’s locker room, Shane asks him not to accept Undertaker’s challenge to make the match a WCW title match. Booker has already accepted as he’s keen to prove that he isn’t a joke after his run in with The Rock earlier. Elsewhere The Rock is shown about to leave the arena but after seeing Booker and Shane’s conversation on a screen, decides to stay. Isn’t it kind of insulting to the rest of the show that The Rock apparently didn’t want to stick around to watch it?

The Undertaker (w/Sara) faces Booker T (w/Shane McMahon) in what is now a WCW Championship match. This is back and forth with Shane doing his best to give Booker the advantage wherever he can get it. Undertaker dominates and might have the match won with a chokeslam but Shane grabs Sara at ringside which is obviously enough to distract Undertaker. As he pursues Shane around the ring, Booker hits him with a steel chair. The referee is down thanks to Shane as Booker stalks Taker with the chair. The Rock runs to the ring and drops Booker with a Rock Bottom but Shane is there with a steel chair to knock down The Rock. He beats up The People’s Champion on the outside. Undertaker crawls into a cover on Booker T but Shane pulls the referee out of the ring to stop the count. Shane grabs the WCW title belt and gives it to Booker and in all the chaos as The Rock beats up Shane, Booker hit Taker with the title belt. A second referee arrives but Undertaker kicks out! With The Rock beating up Shane and Booker getting desperate he asks for the Alliance masses to rush the ring which they do. Rock and Undertaker fight them off with Rock Bottoms and chokeslams as Shane and Booker T escape. The match ends in a no-contest as Shane stares at a trash talking Shane McMahon on the ramp to end Smackdown.

Other Happenings

• Just like Paul Heyman on Raw, the Alliance’s Tazz has joined commentary to “spread the good word” of the Alliance. 

• Matt and Jeff Hardy (with Lita) take on the WCW Tag Team Champions Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire. This is a non-title match and it's decent. Palumbo and O’Haire are big muscular dudes but also fast and athletic and also both in their 20s much like The Hardyz. It breaks down and with aTwist of Fate and Swanton Bomb combo Jeff has the match won but the referee is too distracted to count. A super kick from Palumbo allows O’Haire to roll into a cover and the WCW tag team champions win. 

• Backstage Chris Jericho runs into Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. They trade insults and Jericho mocks her for hazing a zit on her chin. Edge and Christian come around the corner and they join in the insults. The three of them bring her almost to tears so she screams that three members of the Alliance will make them pay for it later. Later, she gives a pep talk to Rhyno and The Dudley Boyz and hypes them up to make Jericho, Edge and Christian pay for what they said. 
• WCW United States Champion Chris Kanyon makes his first title defence against Kane. Before the match, Kanyon asks the crowd “who better than Kanyon?!” and he’s cut off by Kane’s pyro. Kane dominates and plants Kanyon with a chokeslam but the bell suddenly rings. Nick Patrick declares Kane the winner via disqualification which means Kanyon keeps his US title. Kane plants Nick with a chokeslam for costing him the title.
• Rhyno, Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley enter first for the six man tag followed by Edge, Christian and their former rival Chris Jericho. There’s no mention of Edge and Christian’s history with either Jericho or their former buddy Rhyno. Ths is a decent match which breaks down into a brawl. Jericho locks D-Von in the Walls of Jericho and has the submission victory but the referee doesn’t see it. Rhyno breaks it up with a Gore which was a cool looking spot and D-Von covers to win the match for the Alliance team.

Raw is War - August 6th, 2001

Booker T goes Hollywood

In a pre-recorded skit, Booker T is in Hollywood auditioning for a movie. The assistant he meets gives him a “it doesn’t matter what your name is!” and gushes about being a big Rock fan. He calls himself The Booker Man. There’s a few of these dotted through the show where Booker basically says that if The Rock can do it, he can too. The movie is about a British aristocrat. He puts on a bad English accent and says he can do it. It’s nice to see Booker T get some time to show off his personality. In the third segment he reads through the script, performing the stage directions as dialogue and flirts with his female co-star. In the final of these Booker T goes Hollywood segments he’s told he won’t be getting the roll and when saying he’s going to take The Rock out at Summerslam, the other actor mishears and asks if he’s The Rock’s driver since he’s taking him to Summerslam. Booker snaps and punches the director out. 

Kurt Angle goes to The Rock. The pair of them agree to bury the hatchet and start with a clean slate. Kurt says that he knows all about Rock’s street fight with Shane tonight and wants to give him some advice and help - he presents The Rock with a glass of milk! It’s Angle’s secret weapon and he always drinks it before a fight. The Rock is skeptical and teases his usual “turn it sideways…” but then drinks it and thanks Kurt for the best tasting glass of milk he’s ever had! It’s weird seeing these two be friends too, but they’re both Team WWF and that's what matters. 

In the main event, WCW Owner Shane McMahon faces The Rock in a street fight. The Rock’s first match since April 2nd. Before the match, Shane cuts a promo saying that while The Rock was sitting around suspended he’s been winning Last Man Standing matches and competing in street fights with Olympians. The Rock cuts him off on the titan tron and tells “Gladiator” that he’s going to kick his ass. As The Rock enters and Shane twirls and shows off with a kendo stick, he accidentally twirls it too hard and drops it allowing The Rock to attack him head on and bounce Shane around. They fight up into the crowd up and down the stairs as the fans go mental all around them. Classic Rock match. Back at ringside, Shane manages to come back with a diving clothesline off the security wall. Shout out to Shane’ custom jersey for this math which says “Laying the Mac down”. Always loved Shane’s gimmick of having specific gear to taunt each opponent. Shane beats Rock with trash cans up to the top of the ramp but Rock fights back and after wearing him out with one, puts another over his head and with a big swinging chair shot sends Shane rolling down the ramp towards the ring with the trashcan on his head. Great spot but a bit silly. The Rock gets control of this very entertaining fight and as he sets up a People’s Elbow, Booker T runs to the ring. The Rock fights him off and quickly finishes Shane with a Rock Bottom to officially win the match but with it being two on one he’s quickly overcome by the WCW Champion and WCW owner. Booker lays out The Rock with a WCW title belt shot and lays Rocky across the announce table allowing Shane Mcmahon to drive him through it with his trademark diving elbow drop. JR screams that Booker T “pimp slapped” The Rock which feels racial for no reason? Raw goes off the air with Booker T kicking away at The Rock’s injured body. 

Stand by your man

After a recap of Stone Cold and Debra’s cookie caused domestic on Smackdown, we see the WWF Champion and his wife arriving at the arena together.

Backstage, Debra runs into Lita. She congratulates her for putting Austin in his place and suggests that he isn’t much of a gentleman. Debra takes offence at Lita criticising her marriage. If anything, Lita was too nice - remember when Austin beat her senseless with a steel chair back in May? 

Debra complains to her husband about Lita’s comments earlier. She enormously over exaggerates what Lita actually said claiming that she called them both trailer trash and said that Matt Hardy could easily beat him. That sends the Rattlesnake into a frenzy.

Stone Cold goes to confront Lita and Matt Hardy about her supposed comments. They obviously deny it because she didn’t say it but the fired up Rattlesnake challenges Matt to a match tonight and tells him to bring Lita so he can whoop her ass too. 

Backstage, Stone Cold paces around with a snarl on his face and runs into Lita again on the phone to a friend. He gets in her face and bullies her again. Still no mention of his pretty intense run ins with her a couple of months ago when he and Triple H violently beat her with a steel chair and gave her a Pedigree and a Stunner. 

Stone Cold goes to see Debra and much like he did earlier massively misquotes and exaggerates what Lita said, claiming he called Debra stupid and smelly and made fun of her roots. Debra wants to be at ringside for Austin’s match with Matt Hardy.

In a non-title match, WWF European Champion Matt Hardy (with Lita) faces WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin (with Debra). JR says that he thinks Austin and Debra are manipulating each other and enjoying playing games with each other. Stone Cold has different music tonight - it’s a bit bouncier, almost like speed metal? It’s better than the one he’s had the past two weeks but still not great. Austin and Matt go back and forth. Lita and Debra get into on the outside and Lita chases Debra into the ring where she gets a Stone Cold Stunner for her troubles. He then drops Matt with one to win the match. Debra looks very proud of her husband for “defending her honour” and attacking a woman with the Stone Cold Stunner. He even talks trash at Lita as she lays unconscious in the ring. Austin beats up the referee too for good measure.

DDP gets some back up

At the start of Raw, the show opening pyro is in fact Kane’s entrance pyro and we go right into the first match - Kane challenges RVD for the WWF Hardcore title. This is another very enjoyable RVD hardcore match but as Kane looks like he has the match in control, DDP comes to the ring and with a pair of chair shots takes Kane out and lays the steel chair across his chest. Rob Van Dam crushes him with a Five Star Frog Splash to retain his title. DDP looks like he’s seen a ghost as Kane sits up and chases Page through the crowd. 

Backstage in a locker room we see that DDP has set up a massive shrine to Undertaker’s wife Sara. He sounds deeply perverted as he groans and says that he needs his Sara in a breathy voice.

The Undertaker and Sara arrive and find a waiting Kane in the parking lot. Kane tells Taker about what DDP has done to him tonight and about the shrine DDP has built. Taker tells Kane to take Sara to the APA to be looked after and the Brothers will go and find Page and make him pay.

The Undertaker finds DDP’s shrine to Sara and destroys it after finding one of his wedding photos with Page’s face covering him. DDP walks in and Taker attacks him until attacked by…DDP? The first one was actually Kanyon dressed as Page. The two of them beat down Undertaker with weapons until Kane arrives to make the save. 

Planet of the poorly aged Jokes

The owner of ECW Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley comes to the ring. I mentioned this during last week’s Raw but Paul Heyman keeps talking about “letting the bodies hit the floor” which is a reference to Drowning Pool’s song “let the bodies hit the floor” which is Summerslam’s theme song and was ECW’s theme song for years going forward. I was sure it would be edited off the WWE Network and planned to talk about it at Summerslam but Stephanie is using it here and it’s not dubbed! She says that at Summerslam the WWF will hit the floor, especially The Rock who is afraid to face Booker T and is afraid to face her brother Shane tonight. She reminds us of all of Shane’s previous big matches and victories and says her brother is a Gladiator. That brings out Chris Jericho and he launches into his usual “you’re a slut” routine which gets a big reaction from the crowd. She calls him catty and says all these nasty jokes make him seem like a girl. She reminds him of the times her husband beat him down like “the blonde bitch” he is. He suggests that with Triple H out injured she’s been making her way through the locker room and all the staff in the arena. He says that she’s probably been with ever human on the planet so he’s got her a date from a different planet - the planet of the apes. Two men dressed as cast members of that movie come out with flowers and a gift for her. I wondered what the hell was going on until JR started talking about the Planet of the Apes movie that has just come out (the Mark Wahlberg one) so this is a paid promotion. It all builds up to Jericho taking the cream pie which was inside the gift and smashing it into Stephanie’ face as she screams and freaks out. This was probably a lot more on point and funny in 2001. 

Stephanie McMahon and The Dudley Boyz go to see William Regal. She demands that Jericho pay for what he did earlier. Regal says that Y2J can get a partner of his choice and face The Dudleyz later.

The Dudleyz enter first and after a little build up, Chris Jericho unveils his mystery partner - Kurt Angle! Former enemies but now proud members of Team WWF. This Invasion has caused lots of strange friendships. Rhyno runs down and drops Jericho with a Gore but it’s not enough to help The Dudleyz win and Kurt battles through a double team to lock Bubba in an ankle lock and win via submission.

Other Happenings

• The joint WCW Cruiserweight and WWF Light Heavyweight Champion X-Pac goes to see Commissioner Regal and complains about not being put on Raw or Smackdown. He should be in the main event. Tajiri says something in Japanese and Regal giggles. X-Pac demands to know what he was saying so Regal says “X-Pac sucks!”. Pac says he doesn’t care about Alliance vs. WWF and wants to face Tajiri tonight, which the Japanese Buzzsaw accepts.

• Jacqueline faces Torrie Wilson and Stacey Kiebler in a handicap match. This comes from an altercation on Sunday Night Heat. The Alliance ladies teased stripping for the fans at WWF New York so Jackie stripped them by force. It’s the classic wrestling in 2001 logic where babyface women want to get naked and heel women are prudes who refuse to get naked on demand. Torrie and Stacey are, as I’ve mentioned a few times, non-wrestlers but were training as best they could given their new jobs in the WWF. Neither of them wanted to be wrestlers and they reverted back to being mostly managers soon enough. Jackie gives them both a pasting but as Stacey goes to get a steel chair and distracts the referee, the WWF’s Ivory who we haven’t seen since the Right to Censor disbanded comes down and drops Jackie with a DDT and helps Torrie pick up the victory. She celebrates with Torrie and Stacey and makes it official - Ivory has joined the Alliance. 

• Lance Storm defends the WWF Intercontinental title against Christian. Christian is still carrying Edge’s King of the Ring trophy like it’s his own. Before the match, Christian calls Lance down to the ring and says that his works last week inspired him - off-beat shenanigans might be fun but as a Canadian he respects him and asks him to join in a special Canadian 5 second pose to show solidarity. Storm agrees and as they prepare to pose, Edge slips into the ring and pulls down Storm’s tights revealing him as wearing children’s underwear! Edge leaves the ring and the match begins. Lance wins a short back and forth match with a roll up, grabbing the ropes right in front of WCW referee Nick Patrick for a cheap victory.

• At WWF New York, Terri is on the stage. JR asks how she feels to have been dumped for a mop but before she can answer Paul Heyman talks over her and is incredibly nasty about how much makeup she wears, how much plastic surgery she’s had, how the mop has more personality than her. Terri cries and walks off the stage.
• X-Pac defends the WWF Light Heavyweight Championship against Tajiri. Paul Heyman as an alliance person criticises X-Pac for only putting one of his titles on the line. X-Pac has reverted back to his old DX theme song as of this match. Given that his X-Factor Uncle Kracker one was always dubbed I’m happy enough to see the end of it. This is a good match that I’d have happily watched for twice as long but with his green mist spray and a kick to the head, Tajiri becomes the WWF Light Heavyweight Champion! 

Smackdown! - August 9th, 2001

Unstoppable Angle

Smackdown opens with Stone Cold leading an Alliance team meeting backstage. He recaps everything he did on Raw, rallying the troop saying he Stunned Lita for all of them, mentioning a bunch of them by name.(Tommy Dreamer, Bubba Ray and Lance Storm) He tells them all to fly their Alliance colours, to stand up and be strong. He has them all worked into a frenzy telling them to have each other’s backs and to go and whip somebody’s ass!

In the main event is a six man elimination match - WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin teams with Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley against Kurt Angle, European Champion Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy. The crowd is red hot for this energetic match.

Kurt is desperate to get his hands on Austin who keeps his distance and only tags in when one of the Hardyz is legal. Kurt gets the first elimination making D-Von submit to his ankle lock. Bubba evens the score with a big sit down atomic drop on Matt Hardy. Jeff almost makes it two on one with a Swanton Bomb but Stone Cold pulls the ref out of the ring and gives Jeff Hardy a Stunner. Bubba covers and it's now two on one - Kurt Angle against Stone Cold and Bubba Dudley. Kurt puts up a good fight for a long time until pinning Bubba with an Angle slam. He immediately locks Stone Cold in the ankle lock and makes him tap out but the referee doesn’t see it. D-Von Dudley runs down with a steel chair and the two Dudley Boyz beat up Kurt, holding him up for a limping Austin to drop him with a Stone Cold Stunner. He’s then given a 3D at Austin’s urging and the Rattlesnake finishes by wrapping the steel chair around Kurt’s ankle and jumping off the middle rope onto it, potentially breaking the Olympian’s ankle. Matt and Jeff Hardy finally run down to make the save and Smackdown ends with Kurt complaining that he thinks his ankle has been broken by Stone Cold Steve Austin.

He’s loaded onto a stretcher as Austin watches on with a big smile. He follows Kurt up the ramp, talking trash at his Summerslam challenger until Kurt has had enough and actually rolls off the stretcher and catches Austin in the ankle lock and makes him tap out again! Kurt can’t be stopped!

Tag Team Happenings

In the opening match, the APA defend the WWF Tag Team titles against the Alliance team of Diamond Dallas Page and WCW US Champion Chris Kanyon. He’s had run-ins with Kane and helped DDP beat up both Undertaker and Kane on Raw so it seems like DDP has found an ally in his battles with the Brothers of Destruction. DDP and Kanyon worked together a lot in WCW as both teammates and opponents so there’s plenty of history between them too. Michael Cole informs us during DDP’s entrance that neither Undertaker or Kane are at the arena yet. The match is back and forth and the APA seems to have things in hand until Test shows up and drops Faarooq with a big boot and then hits Bradshaw with one of the WWF Tag title belts. Kanyon gets the cover and DDP and Kanyon win the tag team titles thanks to Test joining the Alliance! With this victory, the Alliance has control of all of the three original WWF championships - the WWF title, Intercontinental title and Tag Team titles. This also makes Kanyon the second man (after X-Pac) to hold a WWF and WCW championship at the same time.

Backstage, Test celebrates with DDP and Kanyon and confirms he has joined the Alliance. He goes to get them a table at The Viper Room. After he walks off, WWF Commissioner William Regal informs the new champions that as they’re now under his control he’s making them defend the titles at Summerslam against Undertaker and Kane in a steel cage match! 

In the locker room, the WCW Tag Team Champions O’Haire and Palumbo go to see Stone Cold Steve Austin and offer their services and to have his back if he needs it. Tonight’s main event is Angle and The Hardyz against Austin and the Dudleyz and he thanks them for their loyalty.

Their attempts to step up lead them to the Commissioner’s office. They say they’ll face any team and so Regal tells thm coyly that their opponents for the WCW Tag Titles later will be some “real competition”

Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire head to the ring to find out who their mystery challengers are for the WCW Tag Team titles. Those challengers turn out to be The Undertaker and Kane! The champions hold their own and use a steel chair behind the referees back to work over the Undertaker and control the match in their corner but a tag to Kane and a double chokeslam later, Undertaker and Kane are the WCW Tag Team Champions. That makes their tag team steel cage match at Summerslam a champions vs. champions match and brings a second WCW title to the WWF camp (along with X-Pac’s Cruiserweight title)

The Rock Brings It

Shane McMahon leads the WCW Champion Booker T to the ring. Shane brags about what he and Booker T did to The Rock on Raw and asks Booker T who the “suckah” is now. Booker basically dares The Rock to accept his challenge at Summerslam saying he’ll drop him with a scissors kick and then performs the Spinarooni which gets boos from the crowd and groans from Michael Cole on commentary. That brings out The Rock who accepts his Summerslam challenge and after making fun of the spinarooni (“who named it? Fisher price?”) promises the 5 time WCW Champion a 5 star ass kicking. He then says he has no interest in waiting until Summerslam and he wants to fight tonight. Booker shows no fear and tells The Rock to “just bring it” and face both of them in a handicap match. Rocky accepts and immediately heads down to the ring to fight them both. He isn’t stupid though and grabs a steel chair first, but it’s still two on one and they pounce on him the second he gets in the ring. They beat him up but get cocky and when they try to use a chair, Rock fights them off. A spinebuster to Booker T onto a chair and then a Rock Bottom to Shane through the announce table leaves The Rock as the last man standing tonight.

Other Happenings

• Perry Saturn (w/Moppy) faces Raven. To everyone’s shock, Perry’s former girlfriend Terri is with Raven. She’s still bitter about being dumped for a mop but Cole and Tazz speculate as to whether she’s with Raven or just anti-Perry. Perry slingshots Raven into Moppy and finishes him with a fisherman suplex to win the match. He’s distraught to realise that Moppy has disappeared! Terri’s gone too and has presumably abducted the mop.
• In the Commissioner’s Office, Spike Dudley and his girlfriend Molly are there to ask for a match tonight. WCW Cruiserweight Champion X-Pac storms in and is outraged at losing his WWF Light Heavyweight title on Raw thanks to Tajiri’s green mist. He challenges Regal and Tajiri to a tag match tonight with himself and Albert, but Spike steps up and offers to team with Tajiri instead.
• Rob Van Dam defends the WWF Hardcore title against Edge. There’s a light “RVD” chant in the early going. This is as good as you’d expect with some creative ladder use but as Intercontinental Champion Lance Storm runs to the ring to help out RVD, Edge does a good job fighting them both off. Michael Cole says that Christian isn’t here tonight. Storm is bitter after being pantsed on Raw. In the end the two Alliance members use a con-chair-to and Rob Van Dam retains the title.

• The new WWF Light Heavyweight Champion Tajiri teams with Spike Dudley to take on WCW Cruiserweight Champion (the WWF’s) X-Pac and the 300lbs Albert. This is a rare WWF vs. WWF match. The size difference of Albert makes the difference and after throwing Spike around, takes out Tajiri with ease so X-Pac can pin him with the X-Factor for the victory.

• In the Commissioner’s office a distraught Perry Saturn is looking for Moppy and so Regal tells him to go and ask Terri.
• Backstage as Perry’s search for Moppy continues he does bump into his ex-girlfriend Terri who says that he deserved to lose the mop for treating her so badly. She’s not wrong but if we’re going to act like this is real Perry should be in a care home by this point. He’s unwell. Later, he’s called in a missing person’s report to the police where we find out Moppy is definitely female and her full name is Moppy Q. Mopperson. 

• Earlier today, the Alliance’s Hugh Morrus went to see Stephanie McMahon to empathise with her over the way Chris Jericho treated her on Raw and that leads to a singles match between Y2J and Morrus. Jericho wins a very short match with the Walls of Jericho. As Jericho leaves he's attacked at the top of the ramp by Rhyno who flattens him out with a snap suplex on the steel and then a Gore though the video wall at the top of the stage! That’s a fitting farewell to the Smackdown set as from next week’s show the staging, logos, theme song and arena layout for Smackdown changed. I’ll talk about that next week. Backstage, Stephanie thanks Rhyno for what he did and Rhyno asks for a chance to finish Y2J off at Summerslam which Steph agrees to.

Raw is War - August 13th, 2001

Y2J and The Great One

Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley heads down to the ring with Rhyno (using Triple H’s old theme My Time as her music). Her new breast implants are much more obvious here in a strappy dress and I’m only mentioning it because Chris Jericho is about to (this is a pretty famous promo segment). Stephanie says that Rhyno has beaten Jericho so many times in the recent months (which is true) that she knows he’ll destroy Jericho at Summerslam and says she’ll be at ringside to support him. That brings out Chris Jericho who, as promised, draw’s everyone’s attention to Stephanie’s boob job and puts a side by side comparison up on the titantron.

It gets a Y2J chant as Heyman makes excuses and basically says she’s put on weight. For all her evil doings I feel quite sorry for Steph here as she looks very sad and denies the claims. Nothing to be ashamed of but it was 2001 so this kind of misogyny was still fine apparently. Rhyno challenges Jericho to come to the ring and say it to his face, but Booker T comes out instead. The WCW Champion walks past Y2J and down to the ring and takes a moment to admire Stephanie and tell her how hot she is. It’s worth mentioning that she was in charge of writing the show at this point. Booker says that he had to come out and defend her after Jericho’s nasty comments. Booker says he knows Rhyno will win at Summerslam and then after mentioning his own Summerslam opponent, The Rock comes out onto the stage too. He is very funny talking about Booker T at high school, how he was a 27 year old senior who rode the short bus (which was for mentally challenged kids, for those unfamiliar with the American school system). The Rock busts out a little rhyme “Booker T, hair done by Whoopi, Shane McMahon still a pussy”. Jericho talks about the “Gore and the Whore” and then The Rock completes the rhyming with “Booker T, punk ass sucka, Shane McMahon, silver spoon mother fucker!” He kind of muddles the word but it's very clear what he said! Stephanie has had enough and so makes a tag team match tonight (we all saw that coming) so Jericho says she's “the breast” and The Rock ends on an “If Ya smell…..”. This was all very funny and entertaining.

In the main event, Rhyno (with Stephanie) and WCW Champion Booker T (with Shane) take on their Summerslam opponents Chris Jericho and The Rock. All four men get time in the ring to have control and show off their moves in front of the red hot Chicago crowd. Booker’s mid-match spinarooni gets boos from the crowd as Paul Heyman loses his mind cheering for him. Jericho gets a hot tag and takes out Rhyno and Booker but as the referee tries to stop the double team, Booker punches him in the face. Y2J goes for a Lionsault but Stephanie hits him in the face with a steel chair. Rhyno covers as WCW referee Nick Patrick runs down to count but The Rock pulls him out of the ring. The Rock prepares a People’s Elbow on Rhyno but Booker puts a stop to that. Jericho has a submission victory on Rhyno but when a second WWF referee runs to the ring, Shane McMahon takes him out! Y2J is distracted by Stphanie and Rhyno uses a low blow and a roll up as a second WCW referee - fourth ref overall - runs in and counts the three. Rhyno and Booker T win. It’s chaos after the bell as Rhyno takes out Jericho with a Gore and The Rock lays the smack down on Rhyno and Shane and then spikes the referee and Rhyno with Rock Bottoms. He tries to do the same to Shane but Booker stops it and gives The Rock one of his own! Shane lays a steel chair in the ring and Booker T gives Rocky a second Rock Bottom right onto the chair and then ends with a celebratory spinarooni! Raw ends with Jericho and The Rock laid out while Stephanie and Shane celebate with Booker T and Rhyno. 

Leading By Example

Raw opens with the entire Alliance coming out to Drowning Pool’s “Let the bodies hit the floor” and surrounding the ring, and then WWF Champion Stone Cold coming out to his 3rd different theme song version since Invasion. He says that he leads the Alliance by example and that's why he didn’t wait until Summerslam to beat the hell out of Kurt Angle. He did it on Smackdown and shows some footage of exactly that. He praises everyone around the ring for flying the Alliance colours and then moves on to who else is going to step up and be as famous as he is. Who is going to stand up and make him proud and fight Kurt Angle tonight. Paul Heyman jumps up on the announce desk and gets the fans chanting “RVD” so Austin calls the WWF Hardcore Champion up onto the apron. He tells him that he makes him proud and that he will fight Kurt Angle tonight. Austin then singles out the other members of the Alliance who make him proud - the new WWF Tag Team Champions DDP and Kanyon, the newest member of the Alliance Test and the man who drove Chris Jericho through the stage in Rhyno. He turns his attention to the people who did not take his words of wisdom to heart and have let the Alliance down and says that on Smackdown he’ll be holding the first Stone Cold Invitational in order to teach them the fundamentals that some of them are lacking. He calls Tazz, Raven and Hugh Morrus up into the ring first and then singles out Tommy Dreamer who hasn’t even had a match yet and calls him a sissy who carries bags and fetches water for people. This promo is the birth of the “what” chants as he continually asks Hugh Morrus his name and if he’s here to make him laugh, cutting him off with a “what” each time. He berates him for losing to Jericho on Smackdown and then does the same to Raven for losing to Saturn. Stone Cold is very funny making fun of them both but I don’t know how much it does for their careers. He ends on Tazz and his issue with Tazz is that he just stood there and didn’t make any attempt to save Shane McMahon from being Rock Bottomed through the announce table. He takes off his belt and makes Tazz take his shirt off so he can whip him for his failures and lead by example. Tazz looks like he’s losing his temper and might stand up for himself. He catches Austin’s wrist when he goes to whip him so Stone Cold kicks him low and then directs the rest of the Alliance to beat the hell out of Tazz while he cheers them on. He didn’t take any issue with Palumbo and O’Haire who lost the WCW tag titles on Smackdown but I guess losing to Undertaker and Kane is more forgivable than losing to Perry Saturn. Tazz takes superkicks, a 3D and a Gore before Austin has Tazz stretched out to be whipped, ranting about respect. He’s demented! 

Michael Cole interviews Kurt Angle backstage and confirms that his match with Rob Van Dam will be for the Hardcore title. Kurt says his ankle is hurt pretty bad but it won’t stop him from winning tonight or beating Austin at Summerslam. He’s attacked by Hugh Morrus who obviously wants to redeem himself in Stone Cold’s eyes but he’s easily beaten up and put in the ankle lock until referees manage to separate Angle from him. 

Rob Van Dam defends the WWF Hardcore Championship against Kurt Angle. Stone Cold and Debra are shown watching from their private locker room. This is good and there’s some creative exchanges with a steel chair. Kurt has the match win with the ankle lock until a bunch of ECW guys run down to help out Van Dam. Jeff Hardy arrives to help out Kurt and in the chaos as Angle has an ankle lock on Tommy Dreamer, Jeff gives RVD a Swanton Bomb and thanks to the 24/7 rule, wins the Hardcore title from RVD! Kurt doesn’t mind and after they clear out the ring they shake hands and celebrate together. 

Tag Team Steel Cage

Out in the parking lot, DDP and Kanyon give Palumbo and O’Haire a pep talk ahead of their match tonight. They’ll try to regain their WCW Tag titles in a steel cage match with Undertaker and Kane. Win, lose or draw Undertaker and Kane have another steel cage match at Summerslam with DDP and Kanyon. Undertaker and Kane still have Sara with them at ringside at this point. The challengers lock Kane out of the cage to get an early two on one advantage but it doesn’t last long. DDP and Kanyon come out onto the stage to watch this match in person. Taker and Kane dominate and flatten Palumbo with a Last Ride but are distracted by DDP and Kanyon chasing Sara around the ring. She climbs the cage to escape and with her sat atop Undertaker and Kane pins a bloody Palumbo and O’Haire to retain their WCW tag titles in what was basically a squash match. Undertaker sits atop the cage with his wife as DDP and Kanyon look on from the top of the ramp. So the steel cage match at Summerslam is officially for both sets of Tag Team titles.

Gimmick Upgrades

Back in the Alliance locker room, Shawn Staziak bursts in on Stone Cold and RVD’s conversation and says he’s all fired up. Austin dares him to go and make a name for himself. Go and get famous! 

In a later segment as Kurt Angle is chatting to William Regal Staziak charges at him. Kurt steps aside, Shawn knocks himself out by running into a wall and Kurt and Regal continue their conversation like nothing happened. 

In another segment with Alliance members trying to impress the leader of the Alliance, Hurricane Helms sits down with Stone Cold Steve Austin. He points out Helms’ green lantern tattoo. Debra laughs at him and the joke here is “what a geek, having a superhero tattoo”. I suppose in 2001, they didn’t know how intensely mainstream and socially accepted superheroes and comic books would get. Austin taunts him about his love of superheroes and encourages him to cause mass destruction just like a real Hurricane. Helms seems to take it to heart.

Backstage, Matt Hardy and Lita check on Kurt Angle and ask about his ankle from Smackdown. They have a laugh and talk about Austin’s conversation with Hurricane Helms earlier, mocking the Green Lantern for being a worse superhero than Batman or Superman. Helms arrives and takes issue with what he said about his favourite hero and slaps the milk out of Angle’s hand so Kurt slams him through a table in the catering area and says no superhero is any match for an Olympic Hero.

Back in the Austin locker room Shawn Staziak asks Debra if he should apologise to Stone Cold for his misstep earlier. He’s in the bathroom and when the WWF Champion comes out he slams the door into Staziak knocking him out and is totally unaware of having done so. This is all part of the WWF’s attempts to rebrand these new faces with more WWF style gimmicks. A superhero and an unlucky Looney Tunes character.

Other Happenings

• WWF Light Heavyweight Champion Tajiri (with Commissioner Regal) faces Albert (with WCW Cruiserweight Champion X-Pac). JR mentions during this that at Summerslam X-Pac will face Tajiri in a title vs. title match at Summerslam. That’ll be the lone WWF vs. WWF match at Summerslam. With X-Pac being a heel and being the WCW Cruiserweight Champion you’d think he’d just join the Alliance but he never did. With a green mist to X-Pac and a red mist to Albert, Tajiri picks up a somewhat surprising victory over the 300lbs Albert. 
• In their locker room Christian and Edge talk about their upcoming match with Lance Storm and Justin Credible. Edge seems hurt that Christian didn’t help him out on Smackdown but he was busy getting the trophy polished! Edge mentions that he’s set to challenge Lance Storm for the WWF Intercontinental title at Summerslam. 

• Edge and Christian face Intercontinental Champion Lance Storm and Justin Credible. Heyman on commentary continues to point out that Christian acts like Edge’s king of the ring trophy is his own. The tension between Edge and Christian has been bubbling since before King of the Ring at this point. Edge wins the match in short order with the Impaler DDT on Credible but is quickly chop blocked by Lance Storm and punished with a single leg boston crab until Christian can make the save. 
• There's a commercial for next week’s Smackdown which sees a cosmetic overhaul with a new logo, sets and theme song. Marilyn Manson’s The Beautiful People is the new theme and at least for this advert isn’t dubbed on the WWE Network.
• New Alliance member Test takes on the WWF’s Spike Dudley. Heyman has a good laugh about how Test took a beating for being the Alliance mole when in fact it was Heyman himself. But it backfired and the under-appreciated Test has jumped ship. During this match JR says that at Summerslam Test will team with The Dudley Boyz to face Spike and the men Test cost the tag team titles on Smackdown, the APA. Spike puts up a good fight here despite the massive size mismatch but a big boot to the face gives Test the victory. He tries to keep the beating going after the match and prepares to powerbomb Molly Holly too but the APA run down to make the save, followed by the Dudleyz. The six men brawl and it's the WWF who hold the ring.

Smackdown! - August 16th, 2001

New Era

This is the first Smackdown of a new era! The classic Smackdown theme has been replaced by Marilyn Manson’s “The Beautiful People” and the ovaltron has been swapped out for the titantron complete - oh yes - with the Smackdown fist! They also show us the crowd at WWF New York which is a first for Smackdown - that’s because this episode is live!

I love this stage and it’s definitely a cosmetic upgrade for Smackdown but I have a soft spot for the old school original Smackdown look and theme song too. Of note, the Smackdown opening is now loaded with Alliance  members, most prominently Torrie Wilson (because she’s a pretty girl)

Lights Out

Shane McMahon opens the show in the ring and after bragging about beating up The Rock on Raw and giving Booker’s knock off version of the Rock Bottom it’s name (The Book End) brings the WCW Champion down to the ring. Booker poses on the corners and does his best to mimic The Rock’s mannerisms. He opens his promo with “finally, The Book has come back to Utah!” which draws Rocky chants from the crowd. He continues to steal all of The Rock’s catchphrases. The Book says that The Rock is the one copying him. The real most electrifying move in sports entertainment isn’t the People’s Elbow, it’s the spinarooni and that move isn’t the Rock Bottom, it’s The Book End. He promises victory at Summerslam and ends with an “If ya smell…” The Rock is shown arriving at the arena explaining why he didn’t come to the ring to interrupt Booker T and Shane. After a commercial break The Rock comes down to the ring which feels like a very odd layout to me - two in-ring promo segments back to back from PPV opponents. The Rock isn’t dressed to compete so it's certainly not a match. Michael Cole and Paul Heyman on commentary do point that it feels like a repeat with The Rock now saying all his own catchphrases which of course we just heard from Booker T moments ago. The Rock says that the move they both use is called the Rock Bottom and Booker’ is going to get a couple of them on route to losing his WCW title at Summerslam. The Rock then calls Booker out and he and Shane come out to the top of the ramp. They were JUST out here. This is very odd. Shawn Staziak comes out and says that Stone Cold has told him to do something the people will never forget. He tell Booker that he’s going to go to the ring and make an example of the Booker T wannabee. Staziak runs to the ring and we get an impromptu match as The Rock hits him with a Rock Bottom and pins him in about 15 seconds. He didn’t even take his sunglasses off. The Rock gives Booker a 72 hour warning that he’s going to lose his WCW title and then challenges him tonight to a “lights out” match. No Alliance and no WWF, just the two of them one on one. No one specifies what a Lights Out match is but Cole and Heyman seem to be looking forward to it. Booker accepts. 

In the main event itself, The Rock and Booker T fight in a non-title “lights out” match, whatever that is. This is about pride and ego and both men have promised there will be no WWF or Alliance members getting involved. The lights in the arena are turned out and its pitch black including the titantrons and big screens, which lasts for a really long time until finally Booker T’s music hit and the lights come back on. That was…interesting. Booker makes his full entrance with the WCW title belt and no Shane McMahon - he’s as good as his word about there being no interference it seems. The Rock sprints to the ring and the match begins and it becomes clear that this is basically a no disqualification match. They fight up the ramp and run each other into the new shiny glass and metal Smackdown stage and Booker takes a spine buster on the steel ramp. This is really just the Summerslam main event three days early, but with no title on the line of course. The Rock is about to give Booker a Rock Bottom through the announce table but Shane McMahon arrives just in time to stop it with a low blow and Booker T drives The Rock through the table instead with a Book End! It seems that Shane was hiding under the ring to run interference. There’s no pin or submission and the match just ends with Booker T’s music playing and Shane O’Mac encouraging him to show off with a spinarooni! 

Stone Cold Invitational

In Stone Cold’s locker room, he calls in WWF referee Earl Hebner and gives him a sign up sheet. He says that for his Invitational tonight he needs to take it to the WWF locker room and see if anyone wants to sign up and graduate from “Stone Cold University” tonight. I’m not really sure what his plan is if like 30 people sign up to fight him but we’ll see where this goes. Sure enough, Earl does as he’s asked and everyone wants to sign up but Kurt Angle makes sure his name goes on there first. 

After a recap of Stone Cold’s “leading by example” and vile beating of Tazz on Raw, Debra actually congratulates her husband and seems to have finally come around to his new demented heel way of thinking. Earl Hebner comes in and hands him the list of WWF superstars who want to fight him (he continues to cut him off while he speaks barking “what?!” at him - his new catchphrase already) and says he’ll pick the first name on the list but his eyes go wide when he sees who that is. 

The Stone Cold Invitational is next and before it starts, Tazz joins commentary. He and Paul Heyman argue and bicker over the way Tazz was treated on Raw. It seems like maybe Tazz is a little sick of being treated badly by the Alliance. He says he has a BIG problem with Stone Cold specifically. Austin comes down to the ring in a WCW t-shirt, carrying his clipboard of people who want to fight him. I guess he’s going to run the gauntlet but we already know Kurt Angle signed it first. Paul Heyman actually leaves commentary and gets into the ring with a mic. He wants to make Stone Cold aware that Tazz is at ringside talking trash about the WWF Champion. Heyman is a stooge! I’d imagine they’ve done this so that the live crowd knows what's going on as they can’t hear Tazz’s commentary and react to things the right way. Stone Cold thanks Heyman for his service. Stone Cold says he’s going to start with the first name on the list…Scotty 2 Hotty. Cole cries foul as we all know Angle was the first name really. Tazz stands up and shouts about what happened too but his mic has been cut off so we can’t hear a word he’s saying. Austin gives Scotty a demeaning dressing down, peppering “what”s throughout but never giving Scotty a chance to actually reply to anything. He’s going to make an example of Scotty. He says Scotty is afraid of the Rattlesnake just like Kurt Angle is. He’s a bully and that’s the point of this but it goes on for way way longer than it needed to and got really uncomfortable. Austin begins talking to Scotty like he’s Kurt Angle, calling him Kurt and talking about his gold medals. Scotty looks like he’s going to cry!

He promises to make Kurt bleed at Summerslam before he beats him and as he turns his back Scotty hits the ropes for a bulldog! Scotty is going to give Austin The Worm! He starts hopping but Stone Cold springs up and drops him with a Stone Cold Stunner! Austin keeps the beating going until Kurt Angle runs down. The Olympian beats up Austin until Tazz gets in the ring…and locks Kurt in the Tazzmission! He hasn’t had a change of heart after all and he’s still a proud member of the Alliance. Tazz keeps it locked on Kurt and Austin drives kicks into his ribs until the WWF locker room empties to save Angle. Stone Cold and Tazz dive out of the ring and escape through the crowd. 

Backstage as Kurt tries to catch his breath, Jonathan Coachman asks Kurt how he feels. Angle is pissed and says that at Summerslam he’s going to bring the gold back to the WWF and issues a challenge to Tazz for tonight! He’s going to take out Tazz tonight and he’s going to beat Austin on Sunday! 

In the back, Tazz cuts one of his classic ECW promos with the camera close to his face and a tattered black towel on his head. He accepts Kurt Angle’s challenge and reminds us that in Tazz’s debut he choked Kurt out. 

For the semi main event Tazz enters first but not alone - he has many members of the Alliance as back up to stand at ringside. Kurt Angle enters alone and shows no fear, but as he reaches the ring the WWF locker room comes out to back him up lead by Undertaker and Kane.

The match begins with the ring surrounded by Alliance and WWF members, with the WWF Champion himself Stone Cold Steve Austin at the top of the ramp watching his Summerslam opponent in action from there. This is now an impromptu lumberjack match with everyone screaming abuse at both Tazz and Angle when the fighting dips outside the ring. Kurt wins quickly with an Angle slam and then taunts Stone Cold, daring him to come to the ring and fight him. He does, and he’s swiftly taken down into an ankle lock which he scrambles to escape! That sets off everyone fighting but it’s also over quickly as everyone bails out of the ring and The Dudley Boyz hold back Austin as he screams, wide eyed, at Kurt Angle in the ring.

Other Happenings

• WWF Light Heavyweight Champion Tajiri and Commissioner Regal face WCW Light Heavyweight Champion X-Pac and Albert. Paul Heyman explains that the Alliance loves all this WWF vs. WWF action as while the WWF fights itself the Alliance only gets stronger. This is a decent but short match where the focus is on Tajiri (which I love, he’s my boy) but it’s the big man Albert who wins it for his team with a Baldo bomb on Tajiri.
• Edge goes to see Christian and tells him that he’s thinking about signing up for the Stone Cold Invitational but Christian tells him they have a shot at the WWF Tag Team titles tonight and Edge needs to stop being so selfish and only thinking about himself. Christian picks up Edge’s King of the Ring trophy and storms off. 
• Ivory finds Torrie Wilson and Stacey Kiebler primping and preening themselves so she yells at them. They need to toughen up so that the Alliance can have the best women’s division in the world. She tells them that they have a 3 on 2 handicap match on Sunday Night Heat before Summerslam with the WWF’s Jacqueline and Lita. Torrie and Stacey don’t look super confident so Ivory fires them up and gets them on side. She’s going to whip these two pretty blonde non-wrestlers into shape. 

• Rob Van Dam teams with Rhyno to face the new WWF Hardcore Champion Jeff Hardy and Chris Jericho. During the entrances we learn that Jeff will defend the Hardcore title against RVD in an Invasion rematch. That’s smart, it was the best match at Invasion. The 24/7 Rule has been suspended until Summerslam to make sure that match takes place as scheduled. Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley accompanies Rhyno to the ring just like she will at Summerslam. Rhyno flattens Jeff with a Gore but Jericho takes him out and they fight on the outside. RVD uses a ladder as a weapon to knock Jeff down onto the mat from the floor and follows with a Five Star Frog Splash to win this match for his team. Post match, Jericho stalks Stephanie in the ring and looks like he might put her in a Walls of Jericho again but Rhyno is there to distract and allow the Billion Dollar Princess to escape unscathed. Later a fired up Jeff Hardy took exception to the ladder being used against him and so he says that his match with RVD at Summerslam is now a ladder match! 
• Backstage there’s an interview with the WCW Tag Team Champions Undertaker and Kane. Taker does all the talking and promises to end DDP and his issues with him at Summerslam.

• Edge and Christian challenge Diamond Dallas Page and WCW US Champion Kanyon for the WWF Tag Team titles. Edge also has an Intercontinental title match at Summerslam to get ready for. Edge and Christian come really close to winning their 8th Tag Team title with a Spear on Kanyon. DDP breaks it up. Edge’s Summerslam opponent runs to the ring and drops Edge with a superkick which isn’t enough to end the match but Christian does chase him leaving Edge all alone to fall victim to the Diamond Cutter. DDP and Kanyon retain their titles. 
• At WWF New York, the APA drink beers and cheerfully talk about the beating they’re going to give the traitors Test and The Dudley Boyz at Summerslam in their six man tag team match.