Raw - February 18th 2002

The nWo take out Austin and Rock

We waste zero time. No Raw intro, no pyro. The glass shatters and Stone Cold Steve Austin - steel chair in hand - rushes to the ring looking impossibly pissed off even by Austin standards! Last night at No Way Out the newly arrived nWo screwed him out of the WWF title and left him beaten down with “nWo” spray painted on his back. Austin is hoarse as he screams that is a LOT pissed off, and he had Jericho beat until three pieces of trash came down to stop it. He calls out Hall, Nash and Hogan and says he wants to fight all three of them right now! This is great - I love angry Austin. He doesn’t have to wait long before we get black and white, and interference and the arrival on Raw of Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and Hulk Hogan. Their humble “just happy to be here” attitude from last night is gone - they’ve got their sunglasses on and a very different attitude now that we know they’re the heels. He wants to fight all three of them! They huddle and whisper for a bit before walking down, all while Austin berates them about he is the LAST son of a bitch they want to mess with! They change their minds and turn around and leave instead. Austin gets increasingly angry, screaming that they’re chicken shits! He sets up the chair, grabs a beer and says he is not leaving the ring until he gets a piece of them tonight. Raw actually goes to a commercial break and when it comes back, Austin is STILL in the ring and is fully hijacking Raw until he gets the fight with Hulk Hogan, Scott Hall and Kevin Nash that he wants!

He is eventually interrupted by, of all people, Kurt Angle flanked by five security guards. Kurt says that if anyone is going to take up airtime tonight it should be the man who is now going to Wrestlemania - Austin starts hurling beers at Kurt! He has a hell of an arm getting them from the ring all the way to the top of the ramp. Kurt says that Mr. McMahon isn’t here tonight but he’s here in spirit and his personal security is going to get them out of the arena. He says they’re off-duty cops and if he strikes them then he’s going to jail. Kurt pleads with him to do what’s right, get out of the ring and let Kurt make his announcement. Kurt slowly gets to the ring and decides to just ignore Stone Cold and make his announcement like he’s not there. Kurt’s announcement is that having beat Triple H at No Way Out, he will now go to Wrestlemania X8 and win the Undisputed title. Austin tackles Kurt which brings the off-duty cops into the ring! Austin hits them too and so he’s handcuffed and restrained, dragged out of the ring. Austin doesn’t look any less pissed off. It’s quite 1998 to see Stone Cold being arrested on an episode of Raw.

During the commercial break Austin was loaded into the back of a cop car out in the parking lot while the nWo looks on - Hall goes over and shouts abuse at the Rattlesnake once he’s already in the car like a big tough guy. JR and King spend most of the rest of Raw bickering about whether Austin could have won a three on one fight with the nWo and how drunk he might have been. The Austin loving mark inside me wants to say that the Rattlesnake could have taken them all. He’s Stone Cold Steve Austin!

Out in the parking lot the nWo is about to leave the arena and go for dinner. They’re satisfied with having gotten Austin arrested. Hogan lets Hall and Nash get into the limo before turning around - he says he has some personal business to take care of tonight. 

Out in the arena, Hulk Hogan heads down to the ring. A wild time to be a wrestling fan. He comes out to the nWo theme with the black and white filter and strobe effects. JR speculates about what motivates this man - he’s accomplished so much, made so much money and yet continues to try to dominate. He thinks he is bigger than all of wrestling. It’s a fair point honestly and one you could ask about the man behind the character too. I have a lot of pretty strong negative feelings about the Hulkster but I will do my best to keep this neutral as I do with everyone else. He soaks in the mixed reaction - some are booing, some are cheering. He starts a babyface promo about how happy he is to be back and how much he and the fans have been through together. He mentions having bodyslammed the 700lbs Andre the Giant at Wrestlemania 3 - a hilarious exaggeration which JR does call him out on. Hogan says that the fans turned on him. They took him for granted and drove him out of the WWF. He thanks Vince McMahon for bringing him back and tells the fans to kiss his ass. He says that HE made the WWF what it is, HE made wrestling as big as it is today. No one in the business is a bigger icon than him or sold out more arenas. It’s all arguably true, to be fair to him. His monologue about how great he is is interrupted by The Rock. A magic moment seeing these two men in the same ring for the first time. The Rock takes issue with Hogan blaming the people for him leaving and says that Hogan spent years going on about vitamins and prayers and bored all the fans into running to the toilet to take a crap. Childish but effective. The Rock challenges Hogan to a match at Wrestlemania and we get the iconic stare down - face to face.

The two soak in the moment, looking around the crowd. Some cheering for The Rock, some cheering for Hogan. The fans chant both of their names. There’s a loud minority in the arena booing The Rock and chanting for Hogan here. Hogan calls The Rock flavour of the month and asks Rocky what makes him think he’s even in the Hulkster’s league? The Rock cuts him off and calls this THE fantasy match, and says it will determine who is the absolute best, ever. If you’re thinking that this match being Hogan vs. Austin would make more sense then you’re not alone, and I’ll talk a lot about that at Wrestlemania itself. The Rock says it’s not up to them and they should ask the people - he goes to the four sides, cupping his hand to his ear and letting the fans decide if this match should happen. There’s still some boos for The Rock mocking Hogan. He has his fans for sure. Hogan agrees and the match is official. Hogan says it’ll be a pleasure to kick his ass at Wrestlemania and offers him a handshake to seal the deal. Hogan wishes The Rock luck. Rock tells him he’ll need it more “brother” and plants him with a Rock Bottom! It’s reasonable to call this one of the biggest matches in wrestling history and during this Preview I’ll stick to just covering the build - we’ll talk about the behind the scenes stuff and the historical implications of it all at the show itself. As The Rock leaves he’s jumped by Scott Hall and Kevin Nash! We thought they’d left the arena. They beat him back to the ring and send him in to a waiting Hogan who proceeds to brutally whip The Rock across the back with his big leather weightlifting belt. With Hogan’s encouragement, Scott Hall drills The Rock with his Razor’s Edge powerbomb and the big man, Nash, finishes him off with his own powerbomb - the incredibly dangerous looking Jackknife. Hogan isn’t done and gets a tool box from under the ring and with Nash and Hall holding him in place, Hogan hits The Rock in the back of the head with a hammer! Hogan taunts the crowd and finishes off with his big Leg Drop and Scott Hall counts a three count for a pin. With the nWo theme playing, just like at No Way Out with Austin, they spraypaint nWo on The Rock’s back. 

After a commercial break, The Rock is loaded into an ambulance and it drives off but doesn’t get far as a huge truck appears in front of it to block the path. The nWo get out and with pipes, chains and baseball bats smash up the ambulance and chase the medical staff away. “Let's lay the Smackdown on his crippled ass” says Hogan and with The Rock chained in the back of the ambulance, already on a stretcher and badly hurt Hogan jumps into the truck and drives it at full speed, crashing into the ambulance and crushing it. He even backs up and rams it again! Upon seeing how much damage they’ve caused and that they might have legit killed The Rock, Hogan, Hall and Nash run off when they hear sirens. 

There were more segments checking in on the rescue attempts for The Rock throughout the rest of the show with firefighters and paramedics talking about leaking fuel lines and how important it is to get the doors open and get him to safety ASAP. 

The final update is just before the main event - The Rock is finally free and rushed to hospital in a second ambulance so we can focus on the main event and its Wrestlemania implications. 

Wrestlemania Main Event is Finalised

In Stephanie McMahon’s office, she’s joined by Kurt Angle. As they celebrate his “totally fair, impartial” victory over Triple H at No Way Out they’re interrupted by co-owner of the WWF Ric Flair. He says that it was genius of Vince to make the match at No Way Out for the number one contendership and he’s so inspired by his genius that he’s going to do the same thing - a rematch tonight, Kurt Angle vs. Triple H with the winner going to Wrestlemania! And he says if Stephanie gets involved then Triple H automatically wins.

Michael Cole interviews Kurt Angle ahead of the main event and asks how he feels about all the bad things we’ve seen tonight. He assumes Cole means this match being made, and Stephanie being banned from ringside! He does feel bad for The Rock but he’s going to give everyone a happy ending by winning tonight and going to Wrestlemania.

Before the main event, Undisputed Champion Chris Jericho comes down to join the commentary desk and find out who his Wrestlemania opponent will be. It’s a rare bit of wrestling logic that Ric Flair booked this rematch tonight. Kurt’s victory last night was clearly very tainted and unfair.

Jericho on commentary takes great pleasure in taunting JR about how he defeated Stone Cold last night at No Way Out (with a lot of help from the nWo, which he doesn’t mention). This is a better match than their No Way Out match without the referee distraction. Kurt takes control early as Jericho calls Triple H a whiner and loser for getting so many chances to go to Wrestlemania and losing, which isn’t fair or accurate. As the two went back and forth, something was happening in the crowd that distracted everyone. They’re cheerting for no reason and there’s a lot of whistles and catcalls which would suggest the distraction is female rather than a fight breaking out. There’s loud boos as Triple H goes for a Pedigree which isn’t for him - whatever’s going on is obviously being escorted from the arena. The two fight to the outside and Jericho argues with the referee allowing Kurt to use one of his title belts as a weapon. Triple H kicks out. After a barrage of germans, Triple H escapes an ankle lock and counters a second into a Pedigree from nowhere to win the match and regain his title shot at Wrestlemania. Raw closes with The Game and Jericho having a stare down.

Other Happenings

• The opening match is Matt and Jeff Hardy, w/Lita - their first appearance on Raw in a couple of months - vs. Lance Storm and Christian. I’m glad they’ve dropped the whole Matt heel turn story. I guess being beaten senseless by The Undertaker brought them all back to their senses. After Matt kicks out of a nearfall, Christian throws a temper tantrum and it costs him - Lance is distracted by it, Lita takes him out and Christian falls prey to a Twist of Fate and a Swanton Bomb. Christian’s childish tantrums cost him another match.
• The Undertaker arrives backstage and screams in some poor member of staff’s face demanding the whereabouts of Ric Flair. That leads to the him finding him and threatening him. Flair hit Taker in the head with a pipe last night at No Way Out. Undertaker doesn’t fight him - he challenges him to be a man and fight him at Wrestlemania! Flair says that he respects him and he’s focused on being an owner - he won’t wrestle him at Wrestlemania. Taker says he’ll need to see what he can do to change his mind. How sinister.
• Intercontinental Champion William Regal and Goldust take on Edge and Rob Van Dam. RVD and Edge, as big babyfaces, both look distracted and concerned during their entrance. Everyone is worried about The Rock’s well being as at this point he’s still trapped inside the crushed ambulance in the parking lot. I said it during No Way Out but Goldust and RVD had, shockingly, my favourite match of the show! Regal and Goldust isolate Van Dam and tag in and out quickly. With Goldust and RVD fighting on the outside, Edge flattens Regal with a Spear and makes him tap out to a sort of reverse sharpshooter. Edge Spears Goldust too, and RVD has the last word with a jumping thrust kick off the top rope to send Regal packing.

• Mr. Perfect vs. Kane. Before the match, Perfect does some classic “the local sports teams suck” banter. It’s a nothing match which Kane wins quickly with a chokeslam. The only noteworthy moment is Perfect mistiming his jump for the chokeslam so it looks messy and botched. JR did at least cover and say it was due to Perfect trying to escape the move.
• The Godfather and his ladies come down to the ring. JR and King are still talking in somber tones about what the nWo did to The Rock. Humerously none of Godfather’s ladies look that thrilled to be here so JR and King speculate that they’re worried about The Rock. His opponent is Booker T who wins with a spinning heel kick after Godfather gets distracted yelling at the ladies for not paying more attention to the match and cheering for him. Oh ok so they WERE acting concerned about The Rock. 

Smackdown - February 21st 2002

The Rattlesnake Strikes

Smackdown opens with an address from Vince McMahon. He refers to the nWo’s actions on Raw as reprehensible and says that they should be held to account but all authorities. He says that he’s sure The Rock and the police will be satisfied with their punishment - they’ve been given community service, and Vince is making them apologise. Michael Cole speaks for us all and makes the point by asking “is that it?” more than once while Vince speaks. They’ve been given a slap on the wrist and the implication is that McMahon - the one who brought them in - made it happen.

There’s a lengthy recap of the nWo’s first couple of nights back in the WWF. I was going to capture it but they ended up showing pretty much the whole Rock/Hogan segment on Raw so it was like seven minutes long. I will say that there is a kayfabe killing moment as during this video package we see a couple of camera angles they didn’t use on Raw from inside the truck Hogan drove and on the side of the ambulance itself. Cameras they somehow knew to mount ahead of time. 

That recap leads into the nWo arriving at the arena holding, what we can assume, is their pre-written apology for what they did to The Rock on Raw. They deserve jail time for what they did of course but it’s wrestling so this will be settled by the match between The Rock and Hollywood Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania. The three of them are incapable of apologising from the heart and read the statement as written. Kevin Nash starts and monotone delivers the statement. Hall’s portion adds the lie that they are not just apologising because Mr. McMahon told them to but because it’s the right thing to do. This apology was put together by Vince’s legal team. Hogan’s section makes it clear that Vince definitely pulled strings to get them out of this legal jam and ends by saying that he hopes The Rock forgives him because he has forgiven him for attacking first. He tears up the statement and says he will not apologise for what he’s going to do to The Rock at Wrestlemania. Before they can leave the glass shatters and a pick up truck crashes through the Smackdown stage. Austin is here! Stone Cold, armed with a steel tire iron, attacks all three men! Stone Cold is even angrier than he was on Raw. Nash and Hogan escape but Scott Hall gets caught and the Rattlesnake hammers him about the legs and body with the tire iron. He jumps in his pickup truck and actually tries to back up over Hall but Hogan and Nash are able to get him out of the way and the three of them hobble backstage. They discover that their Limo has been vandalised and the driver is missing. Austin roars in behind still in his pickup truck and the three take off running with Austin in hot pursuit! 

The nWo manage to make it to an office backstage and lock the door, but realise that Hall isn’t with them! Hogan and Nash must have lost him somewhere along the way. Hogan wants to go and try and get Scott but Kev is smarter than that and they decide to stay in hiding and get their breath back. Elsewhere backstage, Austin has Hall already! He has him bound and gagged in a chair, hidden in a big walk in fridge somewhere in the arena. Fittingly he’s surrounded by crates of beer so Austin has one. He promises Hall that he is going to learn the hard way that you do not screw with Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Later after a couple of segments of waiting, Nash and Hogan tip toe out of their hiding place to get some weapons and hunt for Austin.

Elsewhere backstage, Austin is wheeling a helpless Scott Hall around in his chair continuing to intimidate him and drink beer in front of him, which feels like a cruel thing to do to an alcoholic. Hall’s mouth is taped so he can’t respond to any of this. 

Hogan and Nash, now armed with a shovel and crowbar respectively, are on the hunt and still can’t find Austin or Hall.

Austin finds a spot backstage with a spotlight and so parks Scott Hall there. He explains to him that he’s the bait and he’s going to be waiting nearby for Nash and Hogan so he can spring his trap on them. Later, they find him and just as Austin planned he comes out of hiding, lays them both out with the tire iron and locks them behind the cage door! Nash and Hogan are trapped backstage, locked in a storage cage and Austin wheels Hall away triumphant. 

In the main event segment of the show, Stone Cold Steve Austin drives his pickup truck to the ring with a badly beaten Scott Hall in the back. He drags him into the ring and with Kevin Nash and Hulk Hogan still locked in a cage backstage and unable to help, Austin gives Hall a beating in the ring for us all to watch. He lets Hall get to his feet just to knock him down again with a beer can. Austin continues to beat Hall down, all with a microphone in his hand talking trash the whole time. After a never ending barrage of kicks and stomps he drops Hall with a Stone Cold Stunner and with him down and out, the Rattlesnake spray paints “3:16” on his back to end Smackdown. 

Undertaker Goads Flair and an Unlikely Alliance against Triple H

In his office, Ric Flair discusses Kurt Angle’s attack on Kane with his buddy Arn Anderson. They’re interrupted by The Undertaker who repeats his challenge from Raw - he wants a match with Flair at Wrestlemania. Ric says no again. He is focused on his responsibilities as owner and won’t wrestle. Undertaker is angry, but repeats his threat to make him change his mind and calls him a coward. He predicts he’ll get his yes on Raw. 

Stephanie McMahon goes to see Ric Flair and after recapping everything that happened at No Way Out and on Raw for the benefit of those who didn’t see either show. Flair smiles through Stephanie’s whining and complaining. Unknown to her, her soon to be ex husband Triple H was hanging out with Ric and returns from the bathroom and calls her a bitch, which sends her screaming out of the office. This is the first of many, many segments where Triple H and Ric Flair are buddies. The Game was a real life mega-fan of the Nature Boy. 

Stephanie McMahon heads down to the ring to screech about how unfair it is that Ric Flair gave Triple H a rematch for his Wrestlemania title shot on Raw. Before she can really get into it she’s interrupted by Undisputed WWF Champion Chris Jericho. These two have a long history and hate each other and Cole and King speculate as he walks to the ring that it must make Steph extra miserable that the Wrestlemania main event is a man she hates so much vs. her now estranged husband. He reminds us of all the horrible things he used to say to her but then says he never meant any of it. He only said those horrible things to get a rise out of the people and now that he doesn’t care what the fans think of him, he can admit he was wrong with all he said and admits he admires her! This turns into a bit of a lovefest as she returns his compliments and she offers to help Jericho beat her husband at Wrestlemania - no one knows The Game better than her, his strengths and weaknesses, and offers to unite with Jericho and be in his corner and make sure he never loses the title.

They shake hands and join commentary together to watch tonight’s main event - Triple H vs. The Undertaker. Triple H sprays water in their face when he reaches ringside which causes chaos with Jericho going on the attack. The Game teases giving Steph a Pedigree but Jericho stops that. He’s sent packing up and over the security wall just as the Undertaker makes his entrance. The Undertaker stops his bike, talks some trash to Triple H and then gets back on his bike and leaves. He doesn’t want to give Ric Flair the match he set up. At least we got to hear Limp Bizkit’s Rollin play for about four minutes.

Angle off the deep-end

In the arena, Smackdown opens with Kurt Angle who is furious at having lost his Wrestlemania title shot on Raw. He says he’s going to stay in the ring until someone comes out to face him in a match so he can go Olympic on them and take out his frustration. His challenge is accepted by Kane. Kurt, in fairness to him, shows absolutely no fear of the big red machine and attacks Kane the moment he gets in the ring. Kurt is super aggressive and the moment Kane fights back Kurt goes and gets a steel chair. He hammers kane with it. Kane tackles him through the ropes and they land really awkwardly on the floor. That looked painful. The brawl continues with the match now over and Kane, angry at having been made an example of, clears the announce desk to put him through it. He elbows out of the chokeslam attempt and Kurt instead suplexes Kane through the table. Not done, he picks Kane back up and gives him another onto the wreckage of the table, and pounds on him with punches! Kurt Angle has snapped and he is dominating Kane. He attacks the time keeper for ringing the bell and gives him an overhead belly to belly suplex on the floor before returning to Kane, hammering on his ankle with a steel chair over and over! It looks brutal as the chair bends from the blows and then he locks Kane in the ankle lock until he’s finally subdued by a group of referees. This is a totally new Kurt Angle. He has totally snapped. 

Other Happenings

• Edge takes on his former tag team partner and kayfabe brother Christian. Edge wins a short match with his new finisher, a sort of backwards sharpshooter with Christian tapping out. His losing streak continues and he has another epic temper tantrum about it in the ring, this time with a microphone. He says he won’t cry or throw any more tantrums - he quits! 

• Tazz and Spike Dudley defend the WWF Tag Team Championships against Billy and Chuck. The APA have earned a shot at the titles at Wrestlemania and they haven’t forgotten as a replay of their big victory was shown on both Raw and this Smackdown. The aggressively homophobic Bradshaw and Faarooq are shown watching this match backstage. Tazz and Spike’s good luck finally runs out and with a superkick from Chuck and a Fameasser from Billy, we have new Tag Team Champions! The two hug and celebrate enthusiastically as Bradshaw and Faarooq look repulsed by man on man affection backstage. Backstage Lillian Garcia interviews the new champions and they give each other a lot of praise and thanks. They couldn’t have done it without each other. They’re interrupted by the APA who give them congratulations and tell them to take a lot of pictures with those titles because at Wrestlemania they’re taking their titles from them.  

• The Hardyz team up with Rob Van Dam to take on the team of Lance Storm and The Dudley Boyz, with Lita and Stacy Keibler at ringside. After Van Dam gets the hot tag and runs through everyone, he sets up a moonsault on Storm. Stacy runs in and shoves him off the top. That brings Lita in and it all breaks down from there. Matt takes a 3D, Jeff breaks up the pin with a Swanton Bomb and with The Hardyz and Dudleys fighting it out, RVD finishes off Lance Storm with a Five Star Frog Splash to give them the victory. 

Raw - February 25th 2002

The nWo gets ready for Wrestlemania

In the arena after announcing that Stone Cold will go one on one with Mr. Perfect later, the show begins properly with the nWo in the arena. Hall is pushing a wheelbarrow containing something covered in a black sheet which just makes him look like he’s been gardening. Hogan starts off and after showing zero remorse for what he did to The Rock last week, says that Rocky will be here tonight but he won’t finish him off - he’s waiting until Wrestlemania to lay the Smackdown on him. Nash calls himself, Hall and Hogan three of the biggest stars in wrestling history and demands they be treated like it. Finally Scott Hall calls what Austin did to him on Smackdown unacceptable. He is NOT an animal and he wants a match with the Rattlesnake at Wrestlemania. He promises that if Austin accepts then they can call a truce and there will be no more attacks until Wrestlemania. Do you believe him?

Michael Cole catches up with Stone Cold backstage and asks for his reaction to the Scott Hall challenge. He is unfamiliar with the idea of a truce. No fighting? That’s not his style. He is, as always, damn entertaining calling Hall an animal - a jackass! WHAT. A jackass. WHAT. A jackass. WHAT. He accepts the Wrestlemania challenge and he’s going to whoop his ass and prove that he is the LAST son of a bitch Scott Hall or anyone else wants to mess with! 

Jonathan Coachman interviews Mr. Perfect and asks why he’s challenged Stone Cold tonight. The basic gist is that it’s because Austin hit him with a chair at the Royal Rumble and the night after on Raw. He stumbles through the promo and seems kind of out of it. Not the first time I’ve said that.

Backstage, Hulk Hogan is shown going into The Rock’s locker room. After a commercial break we find out what's going on - The Rock isn’t actually here, and Hogan talks trash to a cardboard cutout of the People’s Champion. He walks circles around him explaining that The Rock is a fad and is not a legend or an icon - Hogan is the only legend in this business. He ends it by whipping the cardboard down with his weightlifter belt. 

As Mr. Perfect heads to the ring for tonight’s main event against Stone Cold Steve Austin, the nWo stop him and wishes him luck. The Rattlesnake enters carrying the same tire iron he used as a weapon so effectively on Smackdown. Perfect and Austin lock up and this is a straight wrestling match with holds and counters and headlocks which is surprising but probably shouldn’t be as Austin has shown off a lot more actual wrestling ability since his return from neck surgery at the end of 2000 than he did during his 98/99 peak. Austin hits a Stunner more or less out of nowhere to win a short but decent match. It seems that Raw will end without incident as Austin calls for beers to celebrate a victory but as he does, Scott Hall rolls the same wheelbarrow to the ring he did at the start of Raw. It no longer has the black sheet so we can see its full of concrete blocks. Hall and Austin start to fight and Nash and Hogan come through the crowd to jump him from behind. Three on one, the Rattlesnake has no chance. Nash and Hogan get Austin sitting in the corner of the ring with his knees around the post and Scott Hall grabs a concrete block and smashes it over Austin’s right knee. it disintegrates to powder and explodes on contact which looks devastating but also extremely fake. It's effective as JR and King jump off commentary to check on a screaming Rattlesnake as the nWo leaves to a stunned chorus of boos from the crowd. Raw ends on that slightly somber note. 

Stephanie Gets Personal

Undisputed WWF Champion Chris Jericho arrives in a long limo along with his new business partner Stephanie McMahon. Much like on Smackdown they are full of praise and compliments for each other now that they’re united against Triple H. They have a mysterious videotape to show off tonight.

Stephanie and Jericho make their way down to the ring together. JR still isn’t buying this union and neither should you. King thinks it's great and continues to imply they are now romantically - or at least sexually - involved. Undisputed Champion Chris Jericho is, for the third PPV defence in a row, considered a heavy underdog but maybe having a McMahon in his corner will give him credibility (it doesn’t). He calls Steph a certified genius and reminds us all about how well she knows Triple H. Jericho asks for the video tape to be played - it’s of Triple H’s injury in May 2001. He says that he knew Triple H was injured but that didn’t stop him from putting him in the Walls of Jericho on top of the announce desk that night. He takes full credit for The Game’s injury and costing him eight months of his career to rehab. He says Triple H’s life would be much better if Jericho hadn’t hurt him and he might have been man enough to actually get Stephanie pregnant. She makes a joke about Triple H having a small penis which brings Triple H out to confront them. He doesn’t look particularly upset by what either of them said with a satisfied smirk on his face as he walks to the ring. Triple H has a good comeback. “Even a boeing 747 looks small flying into the Grand Canyon”. Triple H turns his attention to the Champion and challenges him to show how tough he is tonight - he doesn’t even want the title on the line, he just wants to fight him. That brings out Kurt Angle with an announcement courtesy of a telephone call from Vince McMahon. He’s going to make up for him losing his Wrestlemania title shot last week by giving him a title shot tonight! Kurt says that when he wins and he goes on to face Triple H at Wrestlemania then Stephanie is welcome to be his business partner instead. Kurt leaves and it feels like the segment is over but The Game tackles Jericho and beats him up a bit before throwing him out of the ring. 

Chris Jericho defends the Undisputed WWF Championship against Kurt Angle. A rare heel vs. heel match. Kurt looks extremely focused here and drops Chris with a straight punch immediately to start the match. He snapped on Smackdown and beat Kane to a pulp and that new intense attitude continues here. This turns into a surprisingly competitive match with them rolling through each other’s submission finishing moves and grappling for the ropes. The fans are very quiet because, as mentioned, they are both heels. Jericho avoids the Angle Slam and turns it into the Walls of Jericho but Kurt makes it to the ropes. Jericho gets frustrated and brings the title belts and the ring bell into the ring to use as weapons but with the referee distracted it backfires and Kurt clocks him with the WWF title belt. Jericho kicks out but is locked in the ankle lock. Stephanie helps him make it to the ropes to break the hold. An enziguri sends Kurt to the outside and at that moment Kane comes through the crowd and throws Kurt back into the ring.

With him distracted by that he gets a Breakdown and Jericho retains the title. Kurt isn’t done and attacks Kurt after the match, sending him to the outside and in revenge for Smackdown grabs a steel chair and chases after the Olympian. Kurt escapes through the crowd and runs for his life with Kane in hot pursuit.

Undertaker Continues to Push Flair

The Undertaker comes down to the ring and with the officials still helping Mighty Molly away from ringside after her women’s title match, he attacks Arn Anderson. Arn is the best friend of Ric Flair. He busts him open with a single straight right hand and with Arn bleeding heavily, Undertaker continues to pummel him with punches. Taker grabs the mic and says that he told Flair he wouldn’t accept no for an answer - he wants a match with Ric Flair at Wrestlemania, and he is going to MAKE Ric say yes. During the beating JR explains that Ric isn’t here yet tonight because it’s his birthday. Undertaker continues the beating and leaves Arn bloody in the ring, but when he sees him trying to get back to his feet he goes back and drops him with a kick to the face to end the assault. Later in the show, Ric is shown arriving but upon being told what happened, he gets back in his limo and takes off straight to the hospital.

Billy and Chuck on a Roll

Billy and Chuck defend their newly won Tag Team titles against The Hardy Boyz (with Lita). Chuck has cut his hair short and now he and Billy really do match appearances. The Hardyz have this match won as after a Lita hurricanrana and a Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb combo, Jeff has Billy pinned. A superkick from Chuck ends that and Billy and Chuck win, clean and fair despite JR’s claims that they “stole” one. 

Bradshaw and Faarooq in the APA office are excited to have received an invitation to the Friendly Tap pub. They’ve smashed that place up before but all is forgiven! They’ve excited to go and see, as Faarooq puts it, butt naked women. This was pretty funny honestly as Bradshaw can’t enter because the door is locked, but then walks around the door to get the key and unlock it so he can enter. 

Later in the show, the APA arrives at the Friendly Tap. It;’s Men’s night. See, tonight it’s a gay night and the bar is full of gay men. The invitation was from Billy and Chuck as a prank. There’s even some women in drag there which feels very inclusive for 2002. Or it did until a woman in a dress approaches Bradshaw and he’s very uncool about it. This is all deeply homophobic. As Bradshaw and Faarooq are distracted, Billy and Chuck jump them from behind, hitting them with the Tag Team title belts and trashing the bar, smashing them into the jukebox and breaking a pool cue and beer bottle over their heads. The tag champs leave their number one contenders badly beaten in the bar.

Other Happenings

• Christian drops in to see Ric Flair and sign his resignation papers. He quits! Ric isn’t here yet so he whines to Arn Anderson and throws a little temper tantrum about the people laughing at his losing streak. He's interrupted by the man who took the European title from him, DDP! DDP says that he’s losing because he has too much negative energy. He offers to help him channel himself into some positive energy and that will turn his luck around! He gets him to force a smile and takes him off to continue the lesson. 

• Intercontinental Champion William Regal joins commentary to watch the next match which is to determine his challenger at Wrestlemania. Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm vs. The Big Show. That’s an odd combination of potential challengers which would make you think they have something of a multiman match planned for Mania but that’s not the case. Regal spends the match talking about how he’d love to wrestle Lance Storm as he’s a properly trained gentleman and sportsman, unlike RVD and Big Show. Storm introduces a steel chair but it backfires and RVD spinkicks it back into Show’s face and follows up with a Five Star Frog Splash to officially earn an Intercontinental title match at Wrestlemania.
• Backstage, Booker T is practicing Japanese with Test. He’s auditioning for a role in a Japanese shampoo commercial! He says he’s going to impress the casting people with a big win over Rikishi later, which is definitely how acting works. JR says that Booker is one of the many WWF superstars being considered for the commercial role.

• During the show, it’s been a while since we’ve seen him on TV but there’s a video package about Mark Henry competing in the Arnold Schwarzenegger strongman challenge. Mark won the whole thing! So now he is legit the World’s Strongest Man. You’d have to assume he’ll be back on WWF TV soon now. 

• Booker T vs. Rikishi is a short physical match which Book wins after avoiding a Stinkface and following up with a superkick. So that means he gets the commercial role, right?
• Jazz defends the WWF Women’s Championship against Mighty Molly. I’ve not mentioned it because the music is so generic anyway but this is the fourth new theme song Jazz has had in two months. It’s Luna’s old theme song. These two are both good wrestlers, certainly by the standard of women in the WWF in 2002. This is decent but short and ends with Jazz avoiding a top rope crossbody and following up with a brainbuster to retain the title. Jazz keeps the beating going with a stiff right hand and locks Molly in an STF submission too. She leaves and Molly is actually stretchered out of the ring during the commercial break.

Smackdown - February 28th 2002

Main Event Tag Team match

In the office of Stephanie McMahon and Undisputed Champion Chris Jericho, she berates and demeans him. I’m not sure what the point of this is but she basically lectures him on how polishing his own titles is beneath the Undisputed Champion but then gets on his case for buying her the wrong hand cream. Jericho cowers and does as he’s told, going to buy the right stuff. Later in the show, Cole and King show us replays of the various bawdy insults Triple H and Stephanie threw at each other on Raw with mischievous teenager “ooo I can’t believe he said that” reactions. 

Stephanie McMahon drops into her husband’s locker room and finds him discussing strategy with Kane. They are nice and friendly despite their past. Kane excuses himself and Stephanie screeches at her soon to be ex-husband about slander and lawsuits. They discuss their divorce settlement - she’s getting 50% of everything, but doesn’t think it’s fair. He taunts her about wasting all of her money on “that piece of crap ECW”. She wants 50% of everything he earns from now until he dies. How reasonable. 

When the teams make their entrances for the main event, Jericho does come out last but amazingly, Stephanie McMahon is announced being in his corner AFTER him. She’s the real main event. Wrestlemania’s main event is about her and Triple H - Jericho is already an afterthought here. Triple H attacks Jericho during his entrance to start the match and after the initial chaos it settles down with Triple H and Jericho as the legal men. As the match progresses Kurt and Jericho isolate Kane but when Angle locks him in the ankle lock, Triple H breaks it up with a DDT, Triple H gets the hot tag and blows through Jericho and Angle but his Pedigree attempt is stopped by Stephanie pulling his hair. He is stopped from attacking her by a WWF title belt shot to the face but he kicks out of Kurt’s cover. Kane breaks the Ankle lock with a flying clothesline. Stephanie hits Kane in the back with a steel chair and he doesn’t even flinch. Kane blasts Angle right in the head with it as payback for last week and The Game finishes with a Pedigree to give he and Kane the win to end Smackdown on a happy note. 

Austin Returns Fire

In the arena, the glass shatters and Stone Cold - armed with a steel chair and with his knee heavily taped, limps to the ring. Before he can speak the familiar static and distortion happens and the nWo emerges onto the stage with the black and white filter on the camera. They obviously want to hear what the Rattlesnake has to say in person. Austin guarantees them that if they come to the ring he may go down but he will take one of them with him. Hogan is the one who responds and it continues to be wild that the two biggest names in wrestling history - Stone Cold Steve Austin and Hulk Hogan - are interacting and it's not a bigger deal. I will talk about that at Wrestlemania.

Hogan says that with The Rock not here, he’s going to produce his own epic saga on himself and leaves Austin for Hall and Nash to deal with. Hogan’s “epic saga” is an extended video package about him which airs later in the show.

Scott calls Austin white trash and a redneck. Hall shows the footage from Raw and says that just like The Rock, he will go down and out. Nash encourages Hall to go down to the ring and “kick that gimp’s ass” right now. Austin says they don’t need to come down, he’ll go and meet them and he won’t even bring the steel chair! Nash and Hall laugh and taunt him as Stone Cold hobbles towards them and, as he gets close, pulls a gun out of his picket and fires it, wrapping a net around Kevin Nash like in a cartoon! With him wrapped up Austin attacks Hall one on one but on only one leg his advantage doesn’t last long and a couple of kicks to the knee put him down so he and Nash can escape. I believe this was a botch and the plan was for the net to wrap around them both so he could stomp on them for a bit but they covered it well.

Flair Fights Back

In his locker room, The Undertaker is watching the footage of himself beating Arn Anderson to a bloody pulp on Raw. Ric Flair walks in and calls him a cold hearted bastard. Undertaker is smug and assumes with all that he’s done, Flair will now agree to a match at Wrestlemania. Ric is disgusted with him and turns the TV off. He says he’ll give Undertaker his answer tonight and smashes the video tape and VHR. Taker has a laugh to himself after Ric leaves. 

Maven defends his Hardcore title for the first time against Godlust. Another Tough Enough 1 alum is in the crowd - Chris Nowinski. We’ll see him a bit more in the coming months and I’ll get my chance to talk about him properly. Goldust dominates the rookie and blasts him in the head with trash can lids and stop signs. Maven picks up the win with a roll up after blasting Goldust in the face with a fire extinguisher. Goldust doesn’t take the loss very well and attacks him after the match but Undertaker’s theme song hitting brings an end to that. He rides to the ring on his motorbike (and revs it so loudly his theme song can’t be heard). Goldust is smart enough to get out of the ring and away from Undertaker leaving Maven to face the music. No mention of the 24/7 rule now that the match is over. Maven’s mentor and Tough Enough trainer Al Snow runs down to save him and actually clotheslines Undertaker out of the ring! There’s a referee in the ring so Al challenges him and this is an official match. Snow puts up a good fight and once again sends Taker to the outside with a superkick. It doesn’t last long and Undertaker spikes Snow with a chokeslam on the outside.

He prepares to lock him in the TCB submission but Ric Flair runs to the ring and just like at No Way Out, grabs the pipe from Taker’s bike and beats the hell out of him! A shot to the back of the head and then multiple shots to the ribs. Flair gets the mic and says that he STILL says no to a match at Wrestlemania but promises Undertaker that if he crosses the line with someone he cares about again he will show him why he’s the dirtiest player in the game and make him pay for it.

To put an end to this story, later in the trainer’s office Maven is getting treatment for the beating he got from The Undertaker. Goldust comes in to check in on him…with his own referee in tow. He attacks Maven and cashes in on the long forgotten 24/7 rule to win the Hardcore title! 

Japanese Haircare

Backstage Booker T continues to angle for a role in the Japanese shampoo commercial. Booker reads his own script to Tajiri and Torrie Wilson who are unimpressed by his comments about jJapanese people having nasty hair, and kung fu. Tajiri asks why he makes fun of his people’s hair when Booker’s hair looks like “Buckwheat on crack”. I have no idea who Buckwheat is, but Booker is insulted.

Booker T continues to try and earn acting jobs by winning wrestling matches (sensible) in a match with Scotty 2 Hotty. Booker blocks the Worm and forgoes the Spinarooni to show off some kung fu poses instead. He pays for it with a bulldog but blocks a second Worm attempt and finishes Scotty with a Scissors Kick to pick up the win. And a Spinarooni for good measure. As Booker celebrates, we find out that Edge has been given the role in the Shampoo commercial and an angry Booker is forced to watch him get the good news on the titantron.

Other Happenings

• Smackdown opens with an intergender six person tag team match with The Hardyz and Lita taking on The Dudley Boyz and Stacy Keibler. Stacy has a big bandage on her ankle and Bubba says that she injured it during a photoshoot and so her replacement is WWF Women’s Champion Jazz. This is energetic. The Dudleyz set up a Wazzup headbutt on Matt but Lita rescuesh im and they turn it around with a Wazzup on Bubba. Jazz tries to give a brainbuster to Matt Hardy but he counters and tags in Lita. She’s about to finish off the champion with a Twist of Fate but the now suspiciously healed Stacy gets in the ring and drops her with a spinning heel kick allowing Jazz to finish Lita with a brainbuster and win it for her and The Dudleyz.

• Intercontinental Champion William Regal has a non-title match against The Big Show. This match comes from Regal mocking and insulting Big Show while on commentary on Raw during the match where Rob Van Dam earned an Intercontinental title match at Wrestlemania. This short match is actually really well remembered as Regal uses his brass knuckles to punch Show, knocking him out cold. He bounces off the ropes and falls like a tree, landing right on Regal and as dead weight pins Regal down and wins the match while unconscious! 

• Billy and Chuck defend the WWF Tag Team titles against the APA. If you’re thinking that this is supposed to be a Wrestlemania match, you’re right. After the events on Raw with Billy and Chuck’s sneak attack, Bradshaw and Faarooq don’t want to wait until Wrestlemania and wanted it tonight. They’re brutal and dominate the blondes in the early going, throwing them around in and outside the ring. Much like The Hardyz on Raw, Billy and Chuck use a double team to win the match clean as a whistle - a Fameasser on Faarooq - but the commentators call it a stolen victory. My boys just keep winning clean and not getting credit for it.
• Christian’s lessons in how to be a more positive person from Diamond Dallas Page continue. DDP tells him that he needs a better relationship with the fans and brings in a couple of kids for him to bond with. Being more positive will help him win matches. The kids call him ugly and a loser while Christian tries his best to keep his temper. He’s not a loser, he’s a winner! 

Raw - March 4th 2002

McMahon In Charge

Raw opens with a jubilant Vince McMahon telling us that Ric Flair is NOT here tonight because of “events beyond his control” (JR later says it was a family emergency) and he says tonight will be a return to normalcy with him running the show solo. He dubs tonight “Fan Appreciation Night” and we learn that not only will we see a steel cage match between Kurt Angle and Triple H tonight but that one member of the nWo will be in action tonight…but we don’t know which one. Jerry Lawler giggled about “fan appreciation night” every 35 seconds for this entire show. 

The nWo enjoy Fan Appreciation Night

Raw opens in the arena with Stone Cold Steve Austin - knee still bandaged from last week’s attack by the nWo - vs. Booker T. The show is in Austin’s hometown so he gets an even bigger reaction than usual. Apparently Booker asked for this match to prove what a huge star he is after losing out on the Japanese Shampoo commercial to Edge (yes, really. Well not really but kayfabe folks, kayfabe). The fans are red hot for the Rattlesnake. The match doesn’t last long before the nWo arrive and the three of them attack Stone Cold presumeably ending this via disqualification. Scott Hall gets a tool box from under the ring and with Austin fighting off both Hogan and Nash, Hall hits him right in the head with a metal wrench, busting him wide open. The fans chant “Hogan sucks” which brings a smile to my face. Even with blood pouring from his head and the three on one odds, Austin continues to lay down and keeps clawing and fighting but this beating goes on a fair bit longer than it needed to. The point was made. I guess its effective in making the fans want to see Austin destroy Scott Hall at Wrestlemania. Hall finally ends the attack with a Stone Cold Stunner for added insult. After a commercial break, Austin is still in the ring and refusing medical attention, flailing at referees and medical staff determined to leave the arena on his own power and not on a stretcher. 

With Stone Cold taken out for the night, the nWo have taken control of his locker room and sit around drinking his beers. Nash says he’s getting bored and suggests they “take a little walk”. Later their walk brings them acoss a backstage crew member in a Stone Cold t-shirt. The nWo beat him up, stripping his t-shirt off and dumping a heavy looking metal shelving rack onto of him.

Later, the nWo’s adventures lead to them playing Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide which of them will be in the ring tonight - Scott Hall wins, but not before he pushes some poor member of staff’s face into scalding hot coffee.

The nWo are back in Austin’s locker room and as Hogan crows about what he did to The Rock, they mention that he’ll be back on Smackdown this week and he’s going to get beaten up again. They also have a golden tumbler in order to randomly select Scott Hall’s opponent for tonight. Whoever they pull, Hall looks very nervous and asks Hogan and Nash to come to the ring with him and have his back. 

That match is next and in his first WWF match since 1996, Scott Hall wrestles in black jeans and an nWo t-shirt. His opponent who he was so intimidated by is…Spike Dudley. Before the match, Hall says that in his mind he sees Spike as Stone Cold Steve Austin. To the surprise of no-one, Hall demolishes Spike and finishes him with the Razor’s Edge powerbomb. 

Skin Care and Steel Cages

Jonathan Coachman interviews Kurt Angle. He doesn’t say anything noteworthy, but promises to destroy Triple H tonight and ruin Wrestlemania for him by injuring him.

Backstage, Stephanie McMahon is on the phone to Undisputed WWF Champion Chris Jericho. The champion isn’t here tonight because he’s in Greenwich Connecticut tracking down her special hand lotion. She continues to scream at and berate him like he’s nothing. Triple H walks in with a box of her stuff to give to her. He says he wants her out of his life. She screams that he’ll be paying her for the rest of his life, so he dumps the box on the floor. She’s excited to see that the lotion she wants was in the box and starts rubbing it onto her hands, arms and face as Triple H smirks and leaves her to it. I suspect The Game might have tampered with his ex’s lotion. To be continued.

Later in the show, Kurt drops in to see Steph and finds her covered in boils and hives. She screams about what a freak she looks like as Kurt struggles to even look at her. She screeches at him to destroy Triple H tonight in their cage match.

In the main event, Triple H and Kurt Angle go one on one inside a steel cage. Triple H is big and strong and slams Kurt into the cage while Kurt is fast and technical and throws The Game around with suplexes. That’s the story of this match. Kurt takes over with a low blow and hammers Triple H in the corner and grinds him into the cage. Triple H tries to escape and gets an Angle Slam. Kurt tries to escape and gets a Pedigree. That brings Stephanie down and she slams the cage door on Triple H’s head. Kurt has the match won but Stephanie won’t let him leave earlier - she wants the Olympian to beat Triple H more first for what he did to her skin! Stephanie passes a chair to Kurt. Triple H gets it first but isn’t able to use it. Triple H spikes Kurt with a DDT onto the chair but still can’t escape with Stephanie holding the door closed. He decides to climb out instead so Steph gets into the ring and hits her husband with a steel chair! He drops onto the top rope and gets tied up in the ropes so she tries to help Angle escape to win the match and he does. Kurt Angle wins, thanks to Stephanie McMahon. Kurt looks like he might be concussed from that DDT onto the chair. Raw ends with Triple H laying in the cage, hurt and bleeding. 

Undertaker pushes things too far

The Undertaker arrives and roars to the ring on his motorbike. Ric Flair finally fought back and hit Undertaker with a lead pipe over and over and refused to face him at Wrestlemania on Smackdown. Undertaker says that he had to think about what would get under Flair’s skin and make him want to accept the match at Wrestlemania. He shows the footage from last week where he attacked and bloodied Ric’s best friend Arn Anderson. Arn is disabled - he has limited use of his left arm - something which JR has mentioned a lot. Undertaker beating up a disabled man is pretty evil. Undertaker blames Flair for that - he should have just accepted his challenge. Taker says that this morning he had to push the envelope a little bit further and as Ric sits at a medical facility tonight he needs to think about how it's his own fault. Undertaker says that he paid a visit to Flair’s oldest son this morning and his blood is on Ric’s hands, not his. Undertaker shows some footage from earlier today and we learn that he was responsible for Ric Flair’s family emergency - at one of the WWF’s training facilities Ric’s son David was in training to be a wrestler. Undertaker arrived and attacked him, beating him badly and bloodying him. It’s pretty savage! Surely now Ric will accept The Undertaker’s challenge. David Flair is well known to WCW fans as he wrestled there a bunch and was heavily involved in storylines, usually with Ric himself. He was a terrible wrestler and this stint in training didn’t last long as he left wrestling entirely about a year later. Undertaker ends this segment mentioning that David has a younger brother and a sister (he has two actually, one of whom is Charlotte and has gone on to be arguably the greatest women’s wrestler of all time) and implying that if Flair continues to say no then he’ll go and visit them next. 

Other Happenings

• Scotty 2 Hotty and Albert take on Test and Mr. Perfect. Scotty hits the Worm on Test but turns right into a Perfect-plex which gives Test and Perfect the victory. The fighting continues after the match as Albert is apparently a sore loser and attacks his opponents until Test puts him down with a Big Boot. Test then wants to attack Scotty but Rikishi runs down to make the save and while doing so, gives Mr. Perfect a Stinkface too. Scotty and Rikishi are reunited and hug before the big man leaves. 
• New Hardcore Champion Goldust has an in ring promo but as he brags about beating Maven, he’s interrupted by Tazz with referee Jacqueline in tow to challenge him. It’s a very short match which Goldust wins with a trash can lid shot to the head.
• Jonathan Coachman interviews Rob Van Dam and recap his big victory over Big Show last week to earn an Intercontinental title match at Wrestlemania. Lance Storm interrupts and says RVD got lucky in their singles match on Sunday Night Heat (news to me) and challenges him tonight. RVD tells Lance to lighten up so Storm slaps him in the face. RVD looks like he might lose his temper…but stays cool, and says they’ll settle it in the ring tonight.
• DDP continues his lessons with Christian, trying to teach him to be positive. DDP gets Christian to repeat that he’s a GOOD person - Christian stops the session to take a phone call where he callously tells someone to pull the plug on his grandma so he can cash in on her will! 

• The Godfasther is live at WWF New York dancing with his ladies. JR and King continue to talk about how badly his escort business is doing, which feels like a really odd storyline to me? 
• Jazz defends the WWF Women’s Championship against Trish Stratus. Jazz tears Trish’s top off and losing her temper, the challenger beats Jazz up and locks her in her own STF submission! She refuses to break the hold and the referee is forced to ring the bell and disqualify Trish. 
• Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm is pretty straight forward and RVD wins a back and forth match with a Five Star Frog Splash.
• Mark Henry - officially the World’s Strongest Man after winning the Arnold Classic - is back and comes out onto the stage to wave and smile. Ok then?

Smackdown - March 7th 2002

The Rock Returns

During Smackdown there are recaps of what Scott Hall and the nWo did to Stone Cold on Raw. He’s not here tonight. The Rock however is back and there’s a recap of all that the nWo and Hogan specifically did to him a couple of weeks ago ahead of their icon vs. icon Wrestlemania match. That leads into the People’s Champion heading down to the ring. He looks healthy enough but does wince and hold his ribs as he climbs to the top rope. Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole speculate heavily that The Rock is far more injured than he’s letting on. The Rock says that while everyone else was worried to see the nWo come to the WWF, he was excited because right away he wanted this Wrestlemania match with Hulk Hogan. He says this is past vs. future, it is the biggest wrestling match of all time, it will determine who will go down in history as the absolute best EVER. He is selling the hell out of the match but in fairness, it is/was an enormously big match. The Rock says he was so focused on what Hogan was that he forgot what he IS - he is a bitter, jaded, self centred son of a bitch! He says Hogan can claim to be a BIGGER star but The Rock is the BETTER star. He calls Hogan out and tells him to try and finish the job tonight. He doesn’t have to wait long before the entire nWo comes out onto the stage. It was never going to be a one on one fight Rocky. Hollywood says that he’s going to wait for Wrestlemania when The Rock is 100% so he has no excuses when Hogan beats him just like he beat every other flash in the pan. The Rock shows no fear and begs Hogan to come down and fight him tonight. The Rock is riled up and starts throwing insults at Hall and Nash too, trying to goad them. The man with 24 inch pythons has half inch testicles! The nWo huddles to talk strategy and Scott Hall says Hogan won’t fight him but he will. Scott Hall vs. The Rock tonight! 

In the main event, Scott Hall takes on The Rock. I called his match with Spike Dudley on Raw Hall’s first match in the WWF since 1996 but here he’s actually in his ring gear and they actually wrestle and trade moves so really THIS is his first match in the WWF since 1996. Nash and Hogan stay away at first but do come down to watch at ringside and Hogan is the first to get in some cheap shots at Rocky’s taped ribs. The Rock hits a Rock Bottom on Hall and has the match won which brings Nash and Hogan into the ring. He does a good job fighting them off but gets too distracted staring down with Hogan and that allows them to swarm The Rock three on one. Before the beating gets to serious, Stone Cold Steve Austin runs to the ring and clears house, fighting off all three members of the nWo and landing a couple of chair shots on Kevin Nash as he makes his getaway. Austin and The Rock fight off the nWo and survive Smackdown without taking any more serious damage. Before the show ends, Vince McMahon comes out and calls Stone Cold a son of a bitch! He tells us what Raw’s main event will be - a three on two handicap match, the nWo vs. The Rock and Stone Cold! That’ll be Kevin Nash’s first WWF match since 1996, Hulk Hogan’s first WWF match since 1993 and the first time Stone Cold Steve Austin and Hulk Hogan will ever be in the same match. It’s not an exaggeration to say that it is legitimately the biggest main event in Raw history so at least they announced it with a few days notice to build some interest! The end of Smackdown is a bit weird but in a good way as the segment seems to have wrapped up earlier than planned and so Austin and Rock stay in the ring and appear to think the cameras are off as they talk and even share a laugh at one point. They turn their game faces back on in time to have a beer and toast the fans which they loved. And so did I. Great stuff.

Flair Makes It Official

Smackdown opens with Ric Flair storming through the back and arriving at Undertaker’s locker room door. He bangs on the door demanding a fight. Inside, Undertaker has his feet up rewatching the footage of him beating and bloodying David Flair. He ignores the banging as he laughs about how David bled more than Arn! Ric is sick of waiting and says he’s going to the ring to call Undertaker out. After the Smackdown intro and opening pyro, that’s exactly what he does. He recaps everything that Undertaker has done to goad him into a match at Wrestlemania. He also mentions that his son David’s 23rd birthday is that day. He is fired up and says Undertaker’s trophy case isn’t big enough for Ric Flair the wrestler and he accepts! He has a match with him at Wrestlemania. Undertaker comes out looking confused and tells Ric to calm down. He says he’s taken all the fun out of this for him! Undertaker says he’s been thinking it over and now he doesn’t want to face him anymore at Wrestlemania. He says he forgives Ric and doesn’t feel the need to fight him anymore. He says he’ll think about it and give him an answer later tonight. Undertaker is toying with Flair and after putting him through all of that, is making him wait. Now their roles are reversed.

The Undertaker takes on Al Snow and Maven in a handicap match. He dominates them and after spiking Maven with a chokeslam, makes him submit to the dragon sleeper to win the match by submission. Undertaker gives Ric Flair his answer and agrees to the Wrestlemania match but on one condition - Flair needs to come down and beg for the match on his hands and knees. Flair does come down but not to beg, to fight! Undertaker bails out and leaves through the crowd. Ric pursues and  while doing so, throws a punch which catches a fan right in the face! Undertaker escapes as Flair is restrained by referees and security. And a cable which he got tangled up in which made the whole thing a little bit hilarious. 

Back in his office as Ric Flair tries to calm down, he's joined by the police. The fan who he accidentally punched during his brawl with The Undertaker wants to press charges. Ric is placed under arrest, handcuffs and all. Ric has been arrested in real life lots of times, usually because of his drunken antics. 

50/50 Split and an Olympic Mean streak

Backstage Stephanie McMahon arrives and runs into her husband Triple H. It’s a tense showdown as he makes fun of her skin after the allergic reaction he gave her on Raw and she makes fun of the wound on his head that Kurt gave him in the steel cage. He says that he’s brought her car here tonight because he’s sick of looking at it in their garage. He says that he wants his dog back. Stephanie refuses to give him Lucy. They argue about who their dog really belongs to - Steph doesn’t even like the dog, she just doesn’t want Triple H to have her. 

Undisputed Champion Chris Jericho arrives and after whining about all the chores Stephanie has him running, she has a surprise for him. She presents him with a lavish purple robe - it's Triple H’s first robe, the one given to him by his mentor Killer Kowalski when he first started wrestling. Jericho puts it on and the pair of them hug. 

Undisputed WWF Champion Chris Jericho comes out for a non-title match with Kane. He is wearing Triple H’s robe and has Stephanie as his cheerleader. Kane controls the match but with Stephanie distracting the referee, Kurt Angle runs in and flattens Kane with an Angle Slam allowing Jericho to steal the pin. Kurt tries to use a chair on Kane after the match but it's kicked back in his face and Kane and Angle fight off along the ramp and disappear. As Jericho and Stephanie try to celebrate the win, Triple H attacks and sends Jericho packing leaving Stephanie all alone in the ring. He once again tries to Pedigree her but Jericho grabs her and pulls her to safety. Triple H celebrates with the Undisputed title belts and while he does give those back to the champion, he keeps his robe. 

Kane’s pursuit of Kurt has led backstage and he walks around looking for the Olympian in the parking garage. Angle sprints out from his hiding place to attack Kane from behind and during the battle Kurt hits Kane in the head with some piece of equipment and then slams a metal door on his ribs, followed by a steel chair to the head, sandwiching Kane’s head against the concrete. Brutal. 

Stephanie McMahon leaves the arena for the night, excited to see the car that Triple H has returned for her. She said she wanted to split everything 50-50 in their divorce and so the car is cut in half with only the front half in the parking lot. Stephanie screams and screeches and throws a temper tantrum about it as Triple H laughs at her. Predictable I think but still quite funny.

Other Happenings

• Intercontinental Champion William Regal joins commentary to watch a rematch from No Way Out - Goldust vs. Rob Van Dam, but this time for the Hardcore title. Regal continually says he’s here to scout Van Dam ahead of their Wrestlemania match as proper preparation prevents poor performance. Goldust breaks out a bunch of gold weapons during this including trash cans and steel chairs. That’s a nice touch. William Regal hops up onto the apron and rocks RVD with the power of the punch - his brass knuckles assisted left hand - and Goldust retains his title.

• Stacy Keibler vs. Lita. Stacy debuted a new theme song on this show, coming out to Legs by Kid Rock. The audio mixing is weird and initially I thought it had been dubbed because the music was so loud but the lyrics are still there.I don’t know what “WWF DIVAS SEX ON THE BEACH” is but its a TV special next week on UPN and I assume is an hour of them standing around in bikinis with a very misleading title. Stacy almost wins immediately with a spinning heel kick but Lita kicks out. Lita wins with a needlessly sexual looking roll up. After the match, Lillian Garcia interviews her and asks what her goals are. Lita says that she wants to be the WWF Women’s Champion. Stacy is a sore loser and attacks her but pays for it with a Twist of Fate and a moonsault. Lita is then attacked by the women’s champion herself and Jazz spikes her with a stiff looking DDT. 

• WWF Cruiserweight Champion Tajiri takes on Booker T. This match comes from Booker still being upset about not getting the Japanese Shampoo commercial and blaming Tajiri for not helping. Plus they did exchange some insults last week. During this match Michael Cole talks a lot about a recent WWF tour of Asia which wasn’t mentioned on TV at all. He says Tajiri is a hero over there, which probably is true. Everyone loves Tajiri. Booker wins easily with a Scissors kick and celebrates with a Spinarooni but keeps the attack going so Edge runs down to the ring and saves Tajiri, sending Booker packing with a Spear. 

Raw - March 11th 2002

The Biggest Main Event in History

It was promoted all night long and rightfully so given the magnitude of this main event. Hulk Hogan returning to a WWF ring. The infamous nWo united for the first time in a WWF ring in the main event of Raw. The first ever in-ring confrontation between Hogan and Austin. Between Hogan and The Rock. I cannot overexaggerate how huge this match is in wrestling history. I will talk a lot more about Hogan and Rock at Wrestlemania of course but I also need to address the elephant in the room.

As big a star as The Rock was and is, Stone Cold Steve Austin was even bigger at his peak. Why is he not wrestling Hogan? Why did he never wrestle Hogan? I’ll talk about THAT at Wrestlemania too. Before the match, the nWo talks strategy backstage and they do acknowledge how big this match is and what a big deal it is - there's a lot of first time ever’s in this match. There’s a big cheer for Kevin Nash tagging in - he’s a Detroit native and that's where Raw is tonight. There’s a bigger somewhat mixed reaction for Hogan tagging in. The reaction for Austin tagging in is bigger and less mixed. It’s hard to describe this match as it's really just aura. It’s a moment in wrestling history. From what I gather in this time period, Stone Cold made no secret about how unwilling he was to be friends with Hulk Hogan behind the scenes so that might be why Hulk is a little reluctant to tag in while Austin is legal. Hogan does eventually tag in and his one and only official in-ring meeting with Stone Cold consists of a bodyslam, a quick choke before tagging out again.

The finish comes out of nowhere as after it breaks down, Hogan drops The Rock with a Big Boot and his immortal Leg Drop and pins The Rock! Austin attacks Hogan but is pulled off quickly and Scott Hall puts the Rattlesnake down with a Stone Cold Stunner. Raw ends with the nWo standing tall over their Wrestlemania opponents. This was an average TV match but felt huge because of the names involved. This could have been a PPV main event.

Don’t Mess with a Man’s Dog

Backstage, Stephanie McMahon is nasty to a dog named Lucy, calling her fat and ugly. That’s Triple H’s dog and he wants her back. Stephanie makes it very clear that she hates the dog but intends to keep her in the divorce out of spite because The Game loves her so much. He does actually thank her for returning the dog but she even has a court order to confirm that she is legally her property. The dog sounds like she was having a hard time breathing as Triple H was holding her - I hope she’s ok and not uncomfortable. 

Stephanie continues to be nasty to the dog until the Undisputed WWF Champion Chris Jericho arrives and is equally disgusted by the dog. They have a laugh about how upset Triple H is about the dog but their good times are ruined by Lucy doing her dirty business on the carpet. Six days before Wrestlemania, one half of the main event and the reigning Undisputed Champion is sent off to walk the dog and fetch someone to clean up the mess for them.

In the next segment, Jericho ties Lucy’s lead to the handle of a parked limo and leaves her outside in the cold. Later while Jericho is on the phone and told to go and get some air freshener from a local store, he gets into the limo and the driver backs up and (off camera) runs over Lucy! Jericho is callous about it and tells the driver that HE just ran over Triple H’s dog - Jericho had nothing to do with it. The dog is stuck under the car but alive and whimpering. Triple H arrives to try and save her and during the next match, JR informs us that the dog was able to be freed and The Game has taken Lucy to the vets for some medical treatment. 

In Stephanie’s office she is freaking out. Jericho remains calm but Stephanie is realising the gravity of what they’ve done - Triple H is going to KILL them because Lucy got hurt and she knows it's their fault.

Triple H arrives back at the arena - his dog has a broken leg. He’s rampaging around backstage looking for Stephanie but she’s already heading down to the ring, so he rushes off to confront her there. She doesn’t get to say much before Triple H runs to the ring and chases her around the ring. He’s about to spike her with a long overdue Pedigree but Chris Jericho arrives in time to save the day with a sledgehammer. He uses The Game’s trademark weapon against him, hitting him in the surgically repaired thigh not once but twice. This was a setup and now Jericho has a big physical advantage heading into Wrestlemania. After a commercial break Triple H is loaded onto a stretcher and screams in pain, saying that it feels the same way it did when it tore last May and he is worried it's torn again.

Vote of Confidence

JR and King tell us that earlier today there was an emergency board meeting called at WWF HQ in Stanford Connecticut. We do get to see what happened and in the same board room where in June 1999 Stone Cold Steve Austin ruled briefly as CEO (so it must be the real one). Vince called the meeting as the company is in “a state of emergency” and says that he and Ric Flair are pulling the company in different directions and the board of directors must decide who is the captain, and who is the true leader of the WWF. The segment ends abruptly so I’m sure we’ll go back to that later in the show.

Vince’s campaign to have the WWF’s board remove Ric from power continues as he shows footage of Flair attacking The Undertaker and accidentally punching a fan in the face on Smackdown. I didn’t mention it at the time but the “fan” was played by future WWF Superstar Paul London. It’s not looking good for the Nature Boy. There’s a few of these segments throughout the show which amount to basically a very long Vince monologue about Ric should have all his authority removed from him broken up into a few different segments. Eventually, Linda McMahon asks for privacy so she and the board can make a decision.

In the final update from the board of directors, after confirming that Ric Flair intends to go ahead with his match with The Undertaker at Wrestlemania, Linda grants full power and control to Vince McMahon. However…she says that they will review the decision immediately following Wrestlemania. Ric has the last word, apologising for striking the fan and for any embarrassment but he will protect his family at any cost. He says that no one will strip him of his pride and at Wrestlemania he will even the odds with the Undertaker at any cost to himself personally. 

Two Big Mania Matches

After a recap of Kurt Angle’s brutal assault of Kane on Smackdown, Kurt comes down to the ring to talk about crime - Kane robbed him of his Wrestlemania main event by costing him the Undisputed title a couple of weeks ago. Kurt says that while Kane is the big red machine, Kurt is the big red, white and blue machine! He says that Vince McMahon has given him a match with Kane at Wrestlemania and he will make the childhood burning he suffered feel like a papercut! He does also acknowledge that Kane isn’t the only reason he’s not in the Wrestlemania main event - it’s also the fan’s fault! He acknowledges the “You Suck” chants during his entrance for the first time which I’m sure will only make them louder and worse. He is interrupted by, of all people, Booker T. Booker actually stands up for the fans and takes issue with Kurt calling the people stupid. They’re not stupid - they’re BEYOND stupid. They’re brain dead! They are also the reason that he lost the lead role in a Japanese Shampoo Commercial. This is his first Wrestlemania and he needs an opponent! That brings out the man who beat him for the Japanese Shampoo commercial - Edge. Edge says it's funny that someone with Book in his name has never read one. That’s quite a good line. Edge offers to face Booker at Wrestlemania. Kurt keeps trying to speak ebonics to bond with Booker so Edge makes fun of how white he is. Kurt proves that he has soul by doing the Spinarooni. Badly.

As serious as Kurt has been lately, it’s nice to see him still be kind of goofy. Edge calls it the dorkarooni. Kurt challenges Edge to find a partner for a tag team match against them tonight. Edge asks for Kurt’s music to be played and leads the crowd in a “You Suck” chant. This is the segment that many people believe started the chants but as I’ve documented, they’ve been doing them since December! 

Kurt Angle and Booker T take on Edge and, with Kane not here tonight because of Angle’s attack on Smackdown, The Big Show. If I was Show I’d be mad that I don’t have a match at Wrestlemania but he’s happy enough to help out Edge here. This is pretty good and its a particularly strong showing for the Olympian as in the finish he drops Show with an Angle Slam and then makes him submit to the ankle lock to win the match for his team. 

Other Happenings

• The opening match is Rob Van Dam teaming with The Hardy Boyz against Intercontinental Champion William Regal and The Dudley Boyz. The crowd is red hot on this show and the reactions for Rob, Matt and Jeff are deafeningly loud! Can hardly hear the commentators. During this, JR announces that at Wrestlemania the WWF Tag Team titles will be defended in a fatal four way match between Billy and Chuck, the APA, the Hardyz and the Dudleyz. And of course, Rob Van Dam will challenge William Regal for his IC title. This match is chaotic. D-Von tries to introduce a table early and Jeff dropkicks it back in his face - the crowd went NUTS. It's a flurry of finishers at the end with a 3D on Jeff, a Twist of Fate on D-Von, a Bubba-bomb on Matt but its finally a Five Star Frog Splash on William Regal which ends it with RVD pinning his Wrestlemania opponent 6 days before their Intercontinental title match. This was good fun and made better by how white hot the crowd were! 

• Rikishi goes one on one with Test. This comes from a match last night on Sunday Night Heat as Rikishi was about to give Mr. Perfect a Stinkface but Test stopped him with a Big Boot. Rikishi dominates Test and is about to give him a Stinkface but Mr. Perfect returns the favour and puts a stop to that. The distraction does allow Test to connect with his Big Boot and win the match however.
• DDP continues his lessons in positivity for Christian. He gets him to keep practicing his smile and being nice to people in catering but it doesn’t work because Christian is so naturally creepy. They’re interrupted by the WWF Tag Team Champions Billy and Chuck who after implying DDP and Christian might be gay, call them losers. Christian fires up and says that he wants to snap his losing streak tonight in a match with Billy. Billy and Chuck confidently accept and say they can’t wait to see Christian throw another temper tantrum. 

• Goldust defends the WWF Hardcore Championship against Al Snow. Snow drills Goldust with a Snow Plough onto his gold trashcan and in a shocker Snow wins the Hardcore title out of nowhere! He was always my favourite Hardcore champion but this return to glory is out of the blue.
• At WWF New York, in order to promote the WWF DIVAS SEX ON THE BEACH special on UPN, Torrie Wilson, Terri and Jacqueline wriggle around in bikinis. This feels far less subtle than they used to be.
• Billy (w/Chuck) vs. Christian (w/WWF European Champion DDP). DDP actually comes out without his title belt and the weirdness continues as they come out to DDP’s theme, not Christian’s. Page joins commentary to cheer on his protege. Billy gets the better of Christian so he rolls to the outside and throws a little temper tantrum. Page goes to encourage him which allows Chuck to get in a cheap shot. Billy hits the Fameasser but DDP returns the cheating and lays out Billy with a Diamond Cutter allowing Christian to win his first singles match in quite a while! Christian celebrates with DDP until he ruins it and flattens him with a reverse DDT! Christian seems to have used DDP to get back in the winning ways and now he wants his European Championship back. He gives him several stiff kicks to the ribs and finishes him with an Unprettier. 
• Lita and Trish Stratus team up against Stacy Keibler and Women’s Champion Jazz. During this we learn about another Wrestlemania match - Jazz defends the title against both Lita and Trish in a triple threat match. Stacy is taken out and as Lita and Trish try to double team Jazz, she ducks and Trish accidentally kicks Lita in the head. That allows Jazz to get the pin with a roll up and with Jazz and Stacy victorious, Lita and Trish argue in the ring.

Smackdown - March 14th 2002

Hanging by a Thread

Backstage, Stephanie and Chris Jericho discuss Triple H’s big announcement later which has been hyped all night long. King and Michael Cole speculate that it will be that Triple H is now too hurt to compete at Wrestlemania and Jericho says that he thinks it’ll be Triple H’s retirement!

In the final segment of Smackdown, Triple H walks to the ring and doesn’t look like he has any serious issues with his leg after the sledgehammer attack on Raw. As he continues to walk however it turns into quite a noticeable limp. He starts out slowly and implies that he is hurt but says that last May when Jericho put him in the Walls of Jericho and made his torn quad worse he couldn’t finish him off and on Raw when he hit him with a sledgehammer he couldn’t finish him off then either. He WILL be at Wrestlemania and he WILL kick Jericho’s ass and become Undisputed WWF Champion. That brings out Chris Jericho and his business partner Stephanie McMahon. Jericho says that Triple H is lying when he says he’s 100% - he is way more hurt than he’s letting on and Jericho will take advantage of that at Wrestlemania. Stephanie says that she spoke with The Game’s surgeon personally and he let slip that Triple H called him for advice about his injured leg after Raw. His quad muscle is “holding on by a thread” and will tear again at Wrestlemania. Not only will he lose, he’ll go back on the shelf with a serious injury. Triple H concedes that its true and he’s not 100% but he promises that even if its his last ever match and he has to be carried out of the ring, he will be at Wrestlemania and he will win the Undisputed title. A flustered Jericho rushes the ring and attacks and the pair brawl around the ring. Triple H sends Jericho into the ringsteps and clears off the announce desk. Stephanie lands a couple of kicks to Triple H’s thigh so he grabs her by the hair and teases Pedigreeing her on the announce table! This is a spot all fans of a certain age remember as while doing so, Steph’s boobs feel out of her top! It’s tastefully edited off this copy of the show. Jericho stops the Pedigree attempt and locks Triple H in the Walls of Jericho on the announce desk as referees struggle to get him to release the hold. Stephanie grabs a title belt and taunts her husband right in the face and Smackdown ends with Jericho finally releasing the hold and standing tall over his badly hurt Wrestlemania opponent who clutches his “hanging by a thread” thigh muscle. 

The Absolute Best Ever

Hulk Hogan heads down to the ring but on the way, drops off a tape with some standhand and tells him to get it to production to be played when he asks for it. With that, Hollywood Hogan heads down to the ring as Michael Cole talks about how he’s the greatest of all time. It didn’t take long for Hogan to get back onto Vince’s good side and start influencing things did it? King and Cole sing his praises endlessly. Hogan talks about all the men who’ve said they’re going to kill Hulkamania and failed and they all fell to the same move - his Leg Drop. He shows the footage of Hogan dropping it on and pinning The Rock on Raw. Hogan speaks a lot more calmly and more subdued than he ever did during his WCW peak as Hollywood - where’s the energy? He has the production truck show the footage of him pinning The Rock again and again. The Rock is ordinary and common but he is a legend and an icon. Finally The Rock interrupts him. The Rock says he has no interest in killing Hulkamania - Hulkamania isn’t real, its a fantasy in Hogan’s mind. All he’s interested in is kicking Hogan’s ass at Wrestlemania. Hogan does finally concede that Rocky is not a flavour of the month and ends his promo with a calm “whatcha gonna do?” He has avoided all of his classic Hoganisms since returning but he fires up here with a WHATCHA GONNA DO? And tears his nWo t-shirt off. The Rock walks to the ring and slowly gets in Hogan’s face to respond. I’ll take my vitamins, but you say your prayers if ya smell what The Rock is cooking. The Rock wins the stare down and Hogan is the first to back down, leaving the ring and not getting physical tonight. This was a good segment - both men showed some intensity, and Hogan walked that line of being the old Hulk Hogan. 

Flair defends his Family

Backstage Ric Flair drops in to see Vince McMahon. Vince is very smug about the fact that he has all the power and authority thanks to the board of directors. He uses that to add a no disqualification match to his match with The Undertaker at Wrestlemania and then gives Ric the night off and tells him to leave the arena. Vince wants Flair to stay healthy until Wrestlemania so he can enjoy Undertaker tearing him limb from limb. Ric agrees to leave - not for Vince, but because he respects the WWF board.

David Flair is the next one to drop in and see Vince McMahon. Unlike the smarmy villain he played in WCW, David comes across as a nice respectful young man here. Vince taunts him about being bloodied by Undertaker a couple of weeks ago and gives him the opportunity of a lifetime - his first WWF match tonight on Smackdown vs. The Undertaker! David’s eyes go wide and she says thanks but no thanks. Vince goads him into it and makes it clear he has no choice.

After David leaves, Undertaker walks in and they shake hands and share a laugh at his expense. 

The Undertaker has a warm up match; he appears to have manipulated himself against Ric’s son David Flair. I’ve mentioned previously that David wrestled a few times in WCW but mostly as a smarmy sneaky heel. At the time he was still dating Stacy Keibler in real life too - good for David. He does have his iconic titantron video here which is iconic for all the wrong reasons. It’s pretty hilarious as its just a shot of him, and then his dad looking bored, and then him again. Enjoy!

As Undertaker dominates David, Ric runs down to the ring to help him out but it pays for it with a boot to the face. Undertaker has no issues beating up both Flair boys until Ric grabs a steel chair. He saves his son from getting a Last Ride but Undertaker backs off before he can take any real damage. 

Austin dodges the trap

Jonathan Coachman interviews Stone Cold Steve Austin. The Rattlesnake is fired up - he always is - and ready to go to Wrestlemania and kick Scott Hall’s ass. Lots of people are nervous because this is their first Wrestlemania but it’s not his. He’s pissed off. What’s noteworthy is that he calls Hall the first member of the nWo he’ll put down implying he has plans on going after the rest of them after that. His interview is interrupted as in the arena the nWo music plays and Scott Hall swaggers down to the ring. With Austin on the titantron backstage and Hall out in the arena, he challenges him to come out and fight him tonight. He shows the footage from Raw of Scott Hall giving Austin his own Stunner after the main event. He tells Austin to prove how tough he is and that's all it takes for him to leave backstage and head towards the ring to do exactly that.

Predictably it’s a setup and Kevin Nash was waiting at the top of the ramp with a steel chair. He mistimes his attack chasing a referee instead. Austin outsmarts the nWo coming through the crowd and dropping Hall with a Stunner, escaping before Nash can get to the ring to help him. Austin comes out on top tonight three days before Wrestlemania. 

Other Happenings

• Smackdown opens with a singles match between Rob Van Dam and Kurt Angle ahead of their big matches with William Regal and Kane respectively at Wrestlemania. Kurt is back to looking intense and focused here after getting a little silly with Booker T on Raw. Kurt takes a rough bump to the outside during this - I think he misplaced his hands on the fall and splatted on the mat and sold his lower back for the rest of the match. This is decent and when RVD is poised on the top rope ready to land a Five Star Frog Splash, William Regal runs to the ring and distracts him allowing Kurt to bring him down with a suplex and then make him submit to the ankle lock. A victorious Angle leaves as Regal beats up RVD but Kane’s pyro explodes and a frightened Kurt runs back to the ring to escape. He does but Kane takes out his anger with a chokeslam on Regal before continuing his pursuit of Kurt Angle.

• Somewhat of a Wrestlemania preview with Jeff Hardy (with Matt and Lita) vs. Bradshaw (w/Faarooq) vs. Billy (w/Chuck) vs. Bubba Dudley (w/Stacy and D-Von). This four way isn’t elimination rules but the one at Wrestlemania for the tag titles is. The Dudleyz debut a new theme song here by Saliva who are the band performing the Wrestlemania theme song. It’s well timed as now on Sunday at Wrestlemania they can perform The Dudleyz entrance live. I’ll talk about Saliva (and Drowning Pool, who have done the other Wrestlemania X8 theme song) at the event itself. The match breaks down into chaos and in amidst it Billy plants Matt with a Fameasser and wins the match. Billy and Chuck sneak off and leave their three challenging teams brawling and fighting over them in the ring.
• Backstage, Trish Stratus goes to see Lita. They talk about their Wrestlemania triple threat match and while it starts respectfully enough with them saying “may the better woman win” Lita takes issue with Trish saying she’s better than her and throws a bunch and it quickly turns into a wild brawl.
• Al Snow defends his newly won Hardcore title against The Big Show. Snow is no match for the 500lbs Show and he has the Hardcore title won with a chokeslam. Before he can get the pin, Goldust runs down to try and steal the victory. Maven joins the frey too and after dropkicking Show out of the ring, Maven actually pins his mentor Al Snow and under the 24/7 rule steals the Hardcore title back! 

• Booker T and Test team up against Edge and WWF Cruiserweight Champion Tajiri. The story of this match is Booker and Edge’s upcoming Wrestlemania match and Booker picks up the win for the team with a jumping heel kick right in Edge’s face. After the match Test takes out Tajiri with a Big Boot so that Booker and Test can beat up Edge two on one. They make Edge watch a Spinarooni and finish with a Scissors kick. 

And so, four chaotic and jam packed weeks later we’re at Wrestlemania X8. With the return of the nWo it’s not an exaggeration to say that on paper this is the biggest Wrestlemania of all time. Wrestlemania X7 is regarded as the greatest PPV in history but will 2002’s edition come close to that quality? The card certainly has the potential, and for fun here’s Cole and King running down most of the card on the final Smackdown with one of the event’s theme songs, Superstar by Saliva playing. There is one more match to be added (for the Hardcore Championship) but we’ll talk about that on the show itself.